


Oh My God They Were Roommates

by jusains



Category: The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals
Genre: College Roommate AU, Enemies to Friends to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, It will have a happy ending for sure I literally promise, Lots of Cuddling, M/M, Platonic Kisses, actual kiss will be there too but not yet, actually now that I think about it it’s actually, almost everybody is gay because that’s what life is like, dude has abandonment issues, lots of y e a r n i n g, roommate au, slowburn, ted likes to ignore his feelings, they’re both stupid idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2020-10-11 19:04:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 71
Words: 149,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20551184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jusains/pseuds/jusains
Summary: College Au where Henry goes to college and has a horrible roommate. The roommate is Ted. Emma and the others are there too. It‘s a fun Au with a lot of clichés.If u decide to actually read this:thank u, I hope you enjoy it





	1. Intro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry arrives at college

“And call us sometimes, will you?” 

His mom seems worried, when she looks over her shoulder trying to catch his gaze, before she watches the street again, slowly coming to a stop by a red light. 

“Mom, I’m going to college half an hour away, I will visit you guys.”

“But will you?”, his dad asks, turning around in his seat now. 

Henry groans. 

“I will call and I will visit, I promise.”

“We sure hope so.”

“Just don‘t..start smoking weed and whatever kids do in college”, his mom begs. 

“Who do you think I am?”

“And try to find friends, okay? I don’t want you to be all alone again.”

Henry frowns. Ouch mom, thanks for that. 

“I was never alone.”

“Well you made it easy by deciding to just hang around with your sister and her friends.”

“Frankie’s friends are cool.”

His sister, Frankie, is just one year younger than him but a lot smarter, smart enough to have been in the same classes as he was. All of her friends were basically Henrys age and Frankie and Henry always got along well, so he still doesn’t understand why his mom is so against them spending time together in school. 

Frankie is going to Harvard this year, which is more than just half an hour away from home. 

“Just.. don’t be so introverted, okay?”, his mom keeps going. 

“That’s not something I can just stop“, he objects quietly. 

“There it is.” She points out of the windshield to the big college towering on the green green grass. 

“There it is”, Henry repeats, for some reason. 

His mom parks at the sidewalk as close as possible to the dorms and Henry gets unbearably nervous (not that he would admit that to his mom because she would probably cry and then so would he). 

Henry forces himself to get out of the car, closing the door behind himself. He can hear another car door fall shut and shortly afterwards, his dad is next to him, wrapping his arm around Henrys shoulders and lightly petting his arm. 

“Excited?”, he asks. 

“I guess.”

“Scared then?”

“A little.”

“It’ll be okay. You can always call us, you know that.”

Henry nods. “I know.”

“Let’s carry your stuff inside then, shall we?”

“‘Kay.”

His dad lets go of him and with him goes the homey comfort. 

He opens the trunk of the car and pulls out one of the boxes. “This one’s not as heavy, you can carry that.”

“Thanks for that.”

He chuckles, so that little wrinkles form under his eyes, before he pushes the box towards Henry. 

Henry takes it and waits for them to take a box too. 

His mom heaves his suitcase out of the trunk and his dad immediately starts to object. 

“Erin, love, that’s too heavy.” 

“I can manage.”

“No, I should-“

“Earl!”

“Okay.”

Henry chuckles, shaking his head lightly, before he turns around, just to stumble into some guy. 

“Watch out man!”, he grumbles, pushing past Henry, obviously annoyed. 

Henry stares at him hurrying away, taken aback now. That was a nice start. 

His dad comes next to him now, laughing quietly. “_That _was a nice start”, he says and Henry remembers once again that they’re related. 

“Let’s go inside”, he just mumbles. 

“Okay.” 

— 

The door is open, when they get inside and Henry sets the box on the floor, before he looks around. 

There are two beds, on either side of the room and one of them has obviously already been occupied. 

Oh god he has a really messy roommate. 

“Damn”, his dad says, setting his box next to Henrys now. 

Both of them just stare at the room for a moment. 

One side is completely neat. 

Of course it is. 

The other side is a mess. Like an actual mess. 

Clothes are on the bed and books pile on the nightstand table and on the floor next to it. A half-unpacked suitcase is laying open on the floor, halfway under the bed. Henry spots an open chips-bag right next to it, as well as shoes. Really dirty and probably worn for a few years. 

Henry doesn’t even want to get started on the table, in the back of the room. There are two tables of course, since the whole room is completely symmetrical. 

But his roommates table is drowning (just like the bed) under random stuff. Where does it even come from? Why did he bring so much? Is that a plate with pizza crusts? 

Henry has the sudden urge to clean up. At least a little. But he bravely fights against it. 

“Well he’s not as tidy as you are”, his dad says, biting back his amusement. 

“This is hell, I want to go home”, Henry whispers. 

He can hear his mom chuckle behind him. 

“You can do this, honey.”

She rolls his suitcase inside, next to the empty bed on the empty side of the room. 

“Do you want us to help you unpack?”, his dad asks. 

“No, I’m good.”

“Do you want us to stay for a little longer or-“ 

“I’m fine, dad.”

“We’ll leave then?”

“I guess.”

His dad comes towards him to hug him. 

“Stay strong buddy, okay?”

Henry nods, clinging to him when the fear sets in. 

He’s going to be alone with nothing but a roommate who is an absolute mess. He can’t do this. He swallows the tears, pressing his eyes close for a moment, so he doesn’t cry. 

His dad pulls back now and then his mom comes to hug him. 

“You can do this. Call us, okay?”

“Yeah”, he whispers, his voice tiny and weak. God, how he hates when this happens. 

She presses a kiss on his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you”, he says back. 

“Call us”, she whispers again, before pulling back. 

He chuckles now. “I will mom. Don’t worry.”

They step back and he waves. 

“Goodbye! Take care.” 

“You too”, he says and they wave and then, finally, leave. 

The door falls shut behind them and Henry slowly lets himself sink on the bed. He can’t help but stare at the other bed right in front of him.

His roommate, whoever he is, did a great job piling so many clothes and countless other stuff on the bed, that Henry can barely distinguish the colour of the bedsheets. 

And the longer Henry stares at it, the more it drives him crazy. 

The door bangs open and Henry flinches. A boy comes inside, stumbling over Henrys boxes and almost falling. 

It’s the same guy who he ran into earlier. 

“Shit”, he mumbles, pushing the boxes a little bit away from the door, before he looks up and sees Henry. 

“Oh”, he then says, “you.”

Henry frowns. “Sorry”, he manages. 

“Yeah, don’t put your stuff in the middle of the room.”

Henry can barely keep himself from making a cocky comment about that guys messy side of the room. 

“I said I’m sorry”, he says. 

“Whatever.”

The guy kneels next to his suitcase and starts rummaging through it, obviously looking for something. But how is he expecting to find anything in this mess? 

“I’m Henry”, Henry notes, for some reason still trying to get along with this guy. Because if they end up hating each other, this will be awful. 

“Okay”, he mumbles. 

“You are?”

He looks up, seemingly annoyed. “Ted.”

“Okay.”

He pulls a pullover out of his suitcase now, before he gets up. 

“See you”, he mutters, then leaves the room. 

Henry sighs and lets himself sink back on the mattress now. 

This is going to be a disaster. 

He forces himself to get up and leave the room, because if he has to stay just a minute longer, he is going to freak out.

—

He walks aimlessly over the campus, trying to forget that he has a shitty roommate and instead enjoy that he is starting a new chapter in his life. This is good, he’s got this (at least that‘s what he‘s telling himself).

“Hey, dude!”

He looks up and sees a girl wave at him. With brown hair, forced into a messy bun and a really baggy sweater.

He turns around to make sure she’s really waving at him and not at someone behind him, before he decides to go to her. 

“Hey, can you help me?”, she asks, pointing at a box in front of her. 

“Uh, sure.”

“I thought I can do it, but it’s so fucking heavy.”

“I’m Henry”, he just says. 

“Oh! Oh shit, Emma. Sorry.” She laughs awkwardly. 

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“I can help you.”

“It’s a lot of books. But maybe we can get it upstairs together.”

“Sure.”

They heave the box up (it‘s _really _heavy) and somehow they get it all the way into her room. 

The room looks similar to Henrys and there‘s another girl sitting on one of the beds. 

“Hi”, she says. She has red-ish brown locks framing her face, and she’s smiling, seeming really excited while she puts different potted plants out of a box on the shelf next to her bed. 

“Hey”, Henry answers after Emma doesn’t and he settles on assuming that the ‘Hi’ was targeted at him. 

“I’m Charlotte.”

“Henry. I helped Emma with her books.”

“That’s nice.”

“I guess. ..I think should go.” He awkwardly points towards the corridor.

“Hey are you coming to the party tonight?”, Emma asks. 

“What party?” 

“There’s a party here by the dorms. Kind of for the newcomers.” 

“Oh, no I don’t think so.”

“Well we’re coming. If you change your mind we’ll see you there?”

“Okay. Yes, maybe.”

“Okay cool. Thanks again, Henry.”

“You’re welcome.”

She smiles at him and he waves awkwardly before he leaves. 


	2. A Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry decides to go to the party and Ted is A Mess™️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Henry is introverted and socially awkward bc so am I

When he comes back into his room, Ted is laying on the bed, his feet on the bed frame and he’s on the phone with someone. He pushed everything that was on his bed earlier on the floor.

Henry just kind of closes the door behind himself and goes over to his suitcase, opening it now to unpack. 

He can’t help but overhear Teds words. Mostly because he’s using a lot of strong language. 

“Are you fucking serious?”, he whispers, sitting up now. 

Henry starts putting his clothes in the closet on his side of the room. 

“Shit Bri.. Are you?”

Don’t listen, don’t listen, don’t-

“Fuck, I _know _what you said and I just.. how could you? Three years and you.. you decide to-.. no, it’s just two fucking hours away.”

Henry carefully puts another T-Shirt in his new closet. 

“Okay.. yeah I will fuck off. ..fuck.. No fuck you Brianna, seriously.”

Oh shit. He’s breaking up with someone, right? This is a breakup. 

“I’m sorry. I accept your decision I just.. just thought.. Yes stupid fucking me huh? ..Yeah sorry. ..Bye.”

Henry can see him sink back on the mattress in his peripheral vision. He puts his phone down on his chest, staring at the ceiling now. 

He doesn’t really dare to say something. But he doesn’t want to just say nothing. 

“Are you okay?”, he forces himself to ask, turning around now. 

Ted scoffs. “Yeah.”

“Really?”

“You know, it’s actually none of your fucking business.”

“Well sorry then.”

Ted gets up, reaching for the pullover he had taken from his suitcase earlier and slipping into it. It had just been laying on the bed next to him. 

“Gonna get drunk”, he says, then leaves. The door slams shut behind him and Henry flinches a little. 

He slowly continues to put all his stuff away, clothes in the closet, books for studying on the shelf above the table and books to read on the shelf above the bed. He also puts down the cactus he brought from home. 

It’s actually one of Frankies, but she gave it to him before she went to Harvard, under the condition that he’s going to take care of it. She said it mockingly but he knows that she wanted him to have something to remember her by. 

He made her take one of his T-Shirts for the same reason. She always stole it anyways, saying it’s because it’s more comfortable to sleep in and she doesn’t have a boyfriend she could steal one from. 

Finally, he folds the boxes into his suitcase and closes it, before he pushes it under the bed. 

He lets himself sink on it, completely exhausted for some reason. 

It’s quiet in the room now. 

And he’s bored. 

He could just read a bit and then go to bed, but he doesn’t want to proof to Ted that he’s the pussy, Ted thinks he is (and yes Ted didn’t say that but Henry’s sure that he thought that). 

And it’s stupid, because he literally doesn’t have to proof anything to him, he shouldn’t even care. And it’s not about Ted personally it’s just that Henry wants everyone to like him. He hates the feeling he gets when he feels like someone can’t stand him and he gets that feeling when he’s in the same room as Ted. And it’s not like he can just avoid being in the same room as Ted, because they share a room. 

Also if he goes to the party, he might see Emma and Charlotte again. They were nice and he’s really in desperate need of some friends. 

— 

He was worried that he wouldn’t find it, but turns out he worried for nothing. The music is already blasting over the campus when he gets closer to the girls dorms. 

When he walks into the corridor, he sees people. A lot of people. Lowkey too many for his social anxiety but he’ll try. 

They’re just standing in the corridor, talking and laughing, holding red plastic cups full of booze (probably). 

Henry makes his way through, looking for people he knows (meaning Emma and Charlotte by that). If he doesn’t find them, he’ll leave, he decides. 

A guy runs past him holding something. It looks like some kind of trophy. He’s immediately followed by another guy, and both of them are laughing, shouting something. 

Henry only realises that he stumbled to the side, pressing himself against the wall, when they disappeared. 

“Hey dude! Hey! Uh.. Henry?”

He slowly pushes himself away from the wall, trying to locate the voice. 

Then he finds Emma pushing past a smooching couple to him. 

“Hey!”, she says, laughing now. Maybe she’s a little drunk. 

“Hi!”, he mumbles, relieved that he’s not alone anymore, quietly praying that she’s not going to leave him alone again. 

“Come!”, she just says, reaching for his wrist and pulling him through the people. He stumbles behind her as he tries to focus on not bumping in too many civilians. 

She pulls him into a room, her’s and Charlottes, as Henry recognises. 

“Henry!”, Charlotte shouts, sitting on the floor with two guys. She’s drunk as well. 

“Hey!”, he says back. 

“Sit”, Emma just says and he hesitantly sits on the floor next to one of the guys, leaning against Emma’s bed as well. 

Emma closes the door and sits down next to him. Then she just hands him a cup, which he hesitantly holds for a few seconds, before placing it on the floor in front of him. 

“What are you doing here? You’re not even on the party?”

“Nah, the party is shit, we just take the free booze and hang out here”, she answers. 

“Oh.. okay.” That’s so much better than being on that party. Henry is relieved. 

“Hi I’m Bill”, one of the guys says now, waving at him. It’s the one sitting next to Charlotte. Charlotte put her head down on his shoulder and her eyes are half-closed for some reason. 

“Henry”, Henry mutters. 

The one next to him turns to him now, offering his hand. 

“Paul!”, he exclaims, grinning brightly. Henry shakes his hand. 

“Henry”, he says again. 

“What are you studying?”, Paul keeps going. 

“Uh, biology and theatre.”

“Oh, same!”, Emma shouts, “biology I mean. Botany to be more specific, I’m gonna start a pot farm.”

“W-..what?”, Henry manages. 

“Weed’s the future. It’s gonna be legal nationwide soon, I bet ya any money”, she explains. 

“Oh well that’s cool.”

Charlotte laughs. 

“Emma doesn’t even smoke weed. None of us do.” 

“Do you?”, Paul asks, a little too serious. 

“No”, Henry mumbles. 

“Do you smoke weed Henry?”, he asks again, his voice monotone and serious, before he laughs quietly. 

Alright he’s drunk too. 

Bill seems to be the only grounded one. Charlotte laughs along with Paul. 

“No one wants to buy your weed Em”, she laughs. 

“Yeah, tell me that when I’m rich and all of you are poor in your student debt, begging for my financial support.”

Henry chuckles now, slowly warming up with the group. 

“Who are you rooming with Henry?”, Bill asks. 

“Uh.. Ted?”

“Richards?”, Paul asks immediately, seeming really interested for some reason. 

“I don’t know his last name, he’s not very communicative.”

“Sounds like Ted.”

“You know him?”

“Yeah. I mean I did.”

“What do you mean you did?”, Henry asks, surprised because Paul is so nice and Ted is.. well not so nice.

“I’ve known him since diapers. We were neighbors. All of us went to school together.” He gestures around the room. 

“No way.”

“Yes way! Me and Ted were friends actually.”

“And now you’re not?”

“No, we’re not. He moved away. We were still in the same school but we saw each other less. So we kind of just lost contact at some point.”

“Also he’s a fucking creep”, Emma chimes in. 

“What?”, Henry asks, worried because he’s living with that guy. 

“Yeah he.. can be kind of mean sometimes”, Paul admits. 

“I noticed.”

“Last time I saw him today, he was drunk and making out with some girl”, Charlotte mumbles, still leaning on Bills shoulder. 

“Yeah he said he was getting drunk. Is he okay?”

”Who knows. He’s mostly ignoring us.” Paul sounds tired and also maybe a little pissed. 

The situation feels tense and Henry doesn’t really dare to keep asking about it. 

“I can be your new bestie”, Emma finally says and laughs quietly. 

Paul chuckles, tilting his head and watching her for a moment. 

“Maybe Em”, he says. 

“Oh man”, Bill then mumbles. 

All of them look up just to see that Charlotte fell asleep on his shoulder. 

Are they together? It seems like it. 

“Aw man she’s really not good with booze”, Emma mumbles. 

Bill carefully pushes her off his shoulder now, before getting on his knees and lifting her on the bed, pulling the blanket over her. 

“Let’s just talk really quiet now”, he whispers. 

“Nah, once she’s fallen asleep, nothing can wake her up”, Emma says, shrugging lightly. 

Then the door bangs open and Ted, of all people, steps inside, letting the loud music and himself in.

He hesitates for a moment, swaying slightly and holding on to the door, obviously intoxicated. 

His gaze stays on Paul for a moment, then it drops on Henry. 

“Ugh”, he mumbles, before he just turns around and leaves. 

The door stays open and Emma pushes herself closer to it, to slam it shut with her foot. 

“Told you he’s a creep”, she says. 

Paul and everybody else stays quiet. 

Henry notices his social energy slowly running out. He really wants to go back into his room and be alone for a while and just go to sleep. 

“Maybe we should go to sleep. It’s late anyway”, Bill notes, even though it’s not that late. It’s like 11 pm. 

“Yeah”, Emma says. 

Paul nods and gets up. 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles, getting up as well now. 

Bill gets up too, making sure that Charlotte is all tugged in once again, before going to the door. 

“Bye Emma”, he says. 

“See you Em, sleep well”, Paul says. 

They leave and Henry steps in the door frame as well, hesitating on what to say. 

“Hey see you, yeah?”, Emma asks. 

“Sure.” He gifts her a smile.

“Night”, she says. 

“Good Night”, he whispers back, a little too quiet for no reason at all, before he steps on the corridor, right into the unbelievably loud music and something sticky, maybe alcohol, maybe something else. He hurries through the corridor, ignoring the smacking sound his shoe makes every time he steps on it. 

When he gets outside, he sees someone standing next to a bench and holding onto the backrest with both hands and leaning on it, chin resting on his chest. 

It’s Ted, Henry notices after staring at him for a while, trying to decide whether he should go and make sure he’s okay or not. 

But then he does, for some reason. 

“Are you okay?”, he asks. 

Ted looks up, sees him and rolls his eyes. 

“Fine”, he says. 

“Really?”

“What is your deal man? Just leave me alone.”

“You don’t seem okay, let me help you.” 

“I said I’m fucking fine”, Ted groans. 

He lets go of the backrest and immediately tumbles sideways. Henry jumps forward to catch him. 

Henry carefully reaches for his left arm and pulls it over his shoulders and Ted lets him. 

“That okay?”, Henry asks nonetheless. 

“I guess”, Ted gives in. 

Henry starts manoeuvring him in the direction of their room and Ted just kind of stumbles along. 

When they finally reach it, Henry is exhausted. He fumbles his keys out of his pocket with one hand and opens the door. 

He and Ted stumble to Teds bed and over the clothes on the floor in front of it and Henry can finally let go, pushing Ted on the mattress. 

“Wait here, I’ll get you some water, okay?”, he says. 

“I don’t care”, Ted mumbles, laying down now and rolling on his side, hugging his blanket, then he’s just gone. 

“Ted?”, Henry whispers. 

Ted snores quietly. 

Of course he’s snoring. 

Henry would pull the blanket over him, but he’s literally laying on top of it so he just gives up and lets him sleep there. At least he tried his best. 


	3. Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry goes for pizza with his new friends

“Hey man”, Emma says, flopping down on the chair next to him. She looks really tired and her hair is a mess. 

It’s nine am after all.

Henry is actually excited for their first biology class but she doesn‘t seem like it. 

“Nice sweater”, he says, noticing the oversized sweater once again. Is that like her thing? The sweater and the really messy bun? 

She chuckles. “It’s actually Paul’s.”

“Oh.” 

Wait maybe they _are_ together. Are they? The way Paul looked at her at that party said enough didn’t it? 

“Are you.. are you two..?” 

She looks up, confused. Then realisation slowly seems to hit her. 

“Oh my god _no_”, she says, then laughs. 

“You’re not?”

“No, Paul is a friend.”

“Okay.”

“I mean he’s cute but.. no.”

“Okay.”

“He’s got great sweaters though, so I steal them sometimes.”

“I see.”

She smiles, resting her elbow on the table and head on her hand now. She watches him and it makes him a little too uncomfortable so he starts to fiddle with his pen. 

“Interested?”, she asks. 

Is she flirting? Does she think he’s straight? He sort of forgot that he’s not out to these people yet. He was so used to everybody knowing by now. 

“Uhm.. in you? No, I.. actually no, you know I-“

“In Paul then?”

Oh. Okay. “No, neither of you.”

“But you’re gay?”

“How did you know?”

“You just started panicking like shit when you thought I flirted.” 

Henry chuckles, shrugging lightly, relieved now. 

“I just really didn’t know how to tell you.” 

“It’s cool. Though Charlotte’s gonna be disappointed I guess.”

“What? Why?”

“She has a little crush on you.”

Henry can feel himself blush. Why would she crush on him? It’s not like they talked a lot and he’s not good-looking or anything. “On me?”

“You’re a handsome guy. But she crushes on literally everybody who’s nice to her, so it’s alright, she’ll get over it.”

“Well thanks I guess. I kind of thought she’s with Bill.”

Emma smiles.

“No, they’re friends. We’re all just friends.”

“Alright, good to know.” 

“Hey wanna hang out later? We’re getting pizza.” 

“Uhm.. sure.”

“Cool, ‘kay.”

It’s great being Emma’s friend, because even though he’s introverted and too shy to ask to be included, she just includes him in everything, without a second thought. 

He appreciates that. 

— 

“Look who I brought!”, Emma says when she and Henry arrive in the spot in front of the college where she said they would meet the others. 

Bill gifts him a bright smile. 

“Hey Henry!” 

“Hi”, he says. 

Paul gives him a little nod and Henry nods back, feeling really cool while doing it. 

They are all so cool. Why are they okay with him coming along? They‘re too cool for him. 

Charlotte turns around now, smiling brightly. 

“Henry!”, she cheers. 

He can’t help but smile. How can you not be happy when she’s the definition of joy? She cheers up everyone with her smile. Those kind of people are the best. 

“He’s not into girls Char”, Emma says now. 

Her smile falters. “Oh. Well that’s okay.” 

“Sorry”, Henry says. 

She chuckles. 

“Would have been too good to be true anyway. You’re really nice Henry.”

“Thanks you’re really nice too.”

She smiles, nudging him in the shoulder now.

“Guys I’m hungry”, Paul chimes in. 

“Let’s go then”, Charlotte says, before she just tugs her arm into Henrys, deciding to walk next to him. And Henry can’t deny that he feels really honoured by that. No one ever did that to him. He saw other people walking around like that in Highschool, mostly girls who were best friends or something and Henry always thought it looked kinda stupid but maybe he was a little bit jealous as well. 

And Charlotte casually clasping his arm now makes him feel so good. Like he belongs. 

He found really cool friends really quick and he’s really euphoric about it. Like really euphoric. Maybe it’s sort of weird. He shouldn’t freak out over someone choosing to walk next to him like this. 

Emma comes between Paul and Bill and all of them start holding hands, swinging them excessively while laughing about it. 

“Do you have a boyfriend?”, Charlotte asks. 

“No”, Henry admits. He never had one. 

Charlotte sighs. 

“Me neither. But why don’t you? You’re so nice.”

“Well so are you.” 

“Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe we’re too nice. My mom said being too nice gives boys the chance to play you like a cello, but I can’t help it.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone who’s just as nice as you and who doesn’t treat you like an instrument. You shouldn’t just settle on anyone you know.” 

Henry really hands out those advices like he has a clue about relationships.  Like he hasn’t been single his whole life. 

The closest he has ever been to a boy was when that jock bully slammed him against a locker in highschool. They didn’t kiss afterwards so it wasn’t homoerotic. 

Nothing is homoerotic about slamming people against lockers anyway, unless you do it gentle and with their consent and then you kiss them afterwards. It wasn’t gentle and Henry was so scared he almost cried and there wasn’t a kiss either (thank god) 

He never had a boyfriend because - to phrase it in Frankies words - he’s a huge-ass nerd who panics when a boy breathes in his direction and only hangs out with his sisters friends. 

Maybe she‘s a little right. But she‘s also a huge-ass nerd. And when he noted that, she slapped him with a textbook. 

“Maybe”, Charlotte mumbles now. 

Henry stays quiet. 

Emma and Paul start to cheer and clap now.

“Pizza pizza! Pizza!” 

Bill turns around to look at Henry and Charlotte and he looks so done. 

Charlotte holds her free hand towards him and he quickly abandons Emma and Paul and instead joins Charlotte and Henry. 

“Help”, he mumbles. 

Charlotte laughs. 

“I love them but sometimes they scare me”, Bill says. 

“Same”, Charlotte admits. 

“How are you getting along with Ted by the way?”, Bill then asks Henry. 

Henry shrugs. “I don’t know. He’s mostly avoiding me.”

Ted was still sleeping when Henry left and Henry was kind of relieved by that, because he really wouldn’t have known what to say. 

He can’t talk to Ted. Ted never really engaged in a conversation yet but even if he did, it would surely end up awkward and Henry would rethink the whole conversation until he would start to hate himself for it. 

“He’s really alone”, Charlotte notes. 

“No he has a girlfriend”, Bill claims. 

“He does?”, Henry asks. Then he remembers Ted talking on the phone with someone. Brianna. Maybe he doesn’t have a girlfriend _anymore_.

“Yeah they were all over each other back in Highschool. It was just the two of them.”

“Brianna?”, Henry asks. 

“Yeah. How did you know?”

Henry shrugs. “Heard a phone call.” Then he decides to change the topic because Ted was right, it’s none of Henrys business actually. 

“Are you rooming with Paul?”, he therefore asks. 

Bill nods. 

“Lucky”, Henry says. 

“Yeah.”

Yeah and Henry is jealous that all of them have a roommate they like. 

Rooming with Ted is weird because he literally doesn’t seem to give a single fuck about anything. He just kind of seems to do whatever he feels like. No impulse control at all. 

And that could be cute and quirky or something like that but it’s not, it’s the most annoying thing Henry ever had to deal with. 

— 

They arrive at the pizza place and Henry sits down next to Bill and Charlotte sits down next to him. 

A waiter immediately gets to them, handing them five menus. 

“Can I getcha something to drink?”, he asks, sounding bored. His gaze wanders around until it stops on Charlotte and a smile forms on his lips. “Oh.. hi.” 

“Hi”, she says, giggling a bit. 

“How can I call you, beautiful?”, he asks. 

“Charlotte”, she mutters, seeming out of breath for some reason. Emma just lets her head fall on the table.

“I’m Sam”, that guy says, holding his hand towards her. She takes it and he leans down to kiss hers. 

She giggles again.

“I want a coke”, Emma says now. 

Sams smile falters and he rolls his eyes. 

“Okay”, he mumbles. 

“Me too”, Paul says.

“I’d like an iced tea. Do you have that?”, Charlotte asks. 

“Everything for you, babe.” 

Oh god that guy is a creep. Is only Henry thinking that? According to the look on Emma’s face, she’s thinking it too. 

“Thanks”, Charlotte chuckles.

“Water, please”, Bill chimes in. 

“Me too”, Henry says. 

“Alright”, Sam says, winking at Charlotte. Then he disappears. 

Finally, Emma says what everybody is thinking (except for Charlotte, who’s still swooning away or so it seems). 

“Ew what a douche.”

“He was cute”, Charlotte mumbles, not really reacting to Emma’s words. 

“He was a dick Char”, Emma claims. 

Everybody else, including Henry, nod and Charlotte pouts. 

“Come on, he was so slimey”, Bill says, leaning forwards so he can look past Henry at Charlotte. 

“He was a dream”, she insists. 

Bill sighs. 

Then their drinks come, thankfully served by someone else. 

— 

Sam gave Charlotte his number, hurriedly scribbling it down on a napkin when they were about to leave. 

Now they’re back the the college campus and Bill and Charlotte walked off, apparently to go for a swim in the lake, which is pretty near to campus. 

They do that a lot, Emma explained, it’s kinda their thing. Most of the time they just sit by the water and Charlotte reads while Bill sketches in the little notebook he carries everywhere. 

Sometimes both of them read. 

“Anyone wanna play Mario Cart?”, Paul asks. 

“Fuck yeah”, Emma cheers. 

“I think I’ll head to my room”, Henry says, because this seems like their thing. Also he doesn’t know how to play and he wouldn’t mind a little alone time. 

“Alright. See ya”, Emma says, finger-gunning at him. 

“Yes!”, he says, finger-gunning back, “Thanks for letting me come.”

“No problem man”, Paul says. 

Then they leave, arm in arm, and Henry slowly makes his way back to his room. 

He takes his time, in case Ted is there. It’s not like he’s looking forward to seeing him again.

“Hey! You!” 

Henry turns to see who is shouting, just to see Sam running towards him. 

“Hey man”, he says, slapping Henrys shoulder. 

“Hey?”, Henry mumbles, confused now. 

He just keeps walking, so Sam walks with him. 

“You were just with Charlotte right?”

“Yes.”

“What’s her deal? Is she dating anyone?” 

“No.”

“So she’s free?”

“I guess.”

He smiles. “Thank god.”

“Why? Do you wanna date her?” 

Sam laughs now. “_Date _her?” 

“Yes?”

He shakes his head. 

“No. I mean she’s hot. But I don’t date people. I just wanna.. ya know?” 

He winks at Henry and Henry tries not to show how much he’d love to punch him. 

Not that he would punch anyone anyway. He knows full well that if he did that, he’d be the injured one in the end. 

“Leave her alone”, he manages to say. 

“Why?“

“She deserves better.” 

“I’m a great guy.”

“You just said you wanna use her like a disposable single-use container.”

“And?”

“That’s disgusting. How can you treat a person like that?”

Sam sighs now, obviously annoyed. 

“Ugh why are you such a pussy? Are you fucking gay?”

Wow. A sexist and a homophobe. He’s just as great as Trump. Hell, he probably voted for him.

Henry should better not admit that he is, indeed, ‘fucking gay’. 

“Just leave her alone”, he insists. 

“What if I don’t? You gonna beat me up?” 

Before Henry can answer, Sam pushes him against the nearest wall, causing Henry to gasp for air for a moment, when his back hits the concrete. 

“Hey”, someone says, “leave him alone.” 

Henry looks up just to see Ted walk towards them. 

“Who even are you?”, Sam sputters.

“Does it matter?”

“Do you want a fight?”, Sam hits back.

“Do you?”, Ted asks, arriving in front of Sam now. 

And he’s significantly taller than Sam - so is Henry but Henry isn’t intimidating _at all_. 

Ted is intimidating. 

And Sam seems to feel that way too. 

Sam grumbles something, then he spits on the floor and pushes past Ted, leaving him and Henry alone.

And Henry doesn’t even know what to say. 

What the hell was that? 

“I had it under control”, Henry utters. And maybe it’s not the best thing to say, maybe he should have said _Thank You_ or something like that. But he’s so overwhelmed that somehow, the only thing he cares about is that Ted doesn’t see him like a helpless baby. 

Ted scoffs. “Of course.” 

“I really did. I was already dealing with it. I didn’t need you to save me.”

“Well sorry.” 

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, just forget about it then.”

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry nods lightly and Ted rolls his eyes. 

“Well, see you”, Ted mumbles, before he just turns around and leaves. 


	4. Love Is A Murderer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte is missing and all of them panic. Also Henry tries to apologise by Ted.

Henry was unnecessarily mean and behaved like an self-opinionated asshole and he _knows _that. 

He also knows that he should apologise to Ted and maybe thank him for what he did, even though Ted never apologised to him for being an asshole either. 

Henry is looking for Ted in that exact moment, because even if he’d love to be petty and inapproachable, at least towards Ted, he‘s not and he already feels bad for being mean. 

He can’t find Ted, he wasn’t in their room and nowhere else either. 

So instead Henry runs into Bill. 

“Hey Henry”, he says, looking kind of annoyed. 

“What is it?”, Henry asks, scared that Bill might be mad at him even though he can’t think of a reason why Bill would be mad at him now. 

“Nothing. Or I don’t know. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love Charlotte but she’s so oblivious sometimes.” 

“What happened? Where is she?”

“Remember how we just wanted to go to the lake?”

Henry nods. 

“Well she kept texting with that.. slime-ball Sam and then they decided to meet up and she just left me standing there. And I know I should be happy for her because she’s happy but-“

“Wait what?”, Henry blurts out. 

Charlotte can’t be with Sam. He has to warn her first. 

“What?”, Bill asks, confused now. 

“No, she can‘t go to him. Call her”, Henry panics now. 

“What? I mean I don’t like Sam either but it’s her decision”, Bill says. 

“You _have _to call her, please.” 

Henry has only known Charlotte for a day but if anything happened to her he would kill everyone and then himself. No he wouldn’t, but he’d freak out. 

He _is_ freaking out. 

Bill finally pulls his phone out of his pocket, still confused but slowly following Henrys pleas. 

He types something and then holds it to his ear, still watching Henry. Both of them wait for a moment and Henry gets really anxious. 

Then Bill takes the phone off his ear, shaking his head. 

“She turned it off. Or she turned on airplane mode, she does that sometimes because of the radiation.”

“Shit”, Henry whispers. 

“What do you know?”, Bill asks, looking concerned now. He’s still clasping his phone with both hands. 

“I just met Sam. Like.. fifteen minutes ago. He told me he doesn’t want to date her or anything, he just wants to.. score?”

“He did?”

“Yeah, that’s not what she wants, is it?”

“No”, Bill mumbles, staring at his phone now. Then he just dials her number again, chewing on his lip now. 

“I mean, he’s not a good guy. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I’m afraid he might do something to her.”

“You’re not overreacting”, Bill says. 

Now both of them are panicking and there’s no point in hiding it anymore. 

“Damnit”, Bill whispers now, letting his phone sink once again. 

“Maybe she’s with Emma and Paul?”, Henry suggests, even though she’s most likely not. 

Bill nods and puts his phone to his ear once again.

“Paul!”, he immediately says. 

Henry takes a deep breath. Maybe she’s with them. Maybe it’s gonna be fine. 

“Yeah, no, have you seen Charlotte? Is she with you guys?”

Bill sighs, looking at Henry and shaking his head. 

“Okay where are you?”, Bill asks, “...okay, stay there, we’ll come to you.”

He hangs up. 

“She’s not with them but they’re in mine and Paul’s room so let’s meet up there and see what we can do?”

Henry nods. 

“Okay, come on.”

Henry follows him to the boys dorms. 

Bill seems nervous, just as nervous as Henry feels. 

_Maybe everything will be okay_, Henry tells himself, as he wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. 

When they get to the boys dorms, Henry can see Ted in the corridor. He’s just sitting on the floor in front of the door to their room. He has headphones on and he just kind of closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. 

“Give me a minute, I’ll be right with you, okay?”, Henry says, while deciding to apologise real quick. 

Bill nods. “Okay. Room 82.”

“Okay”, Henry says, before he walks towards Ted. 

Ted doesn’t notice him. 

Of course he doesn’t, he has headphones on and his eyes closed. 

Henry gently kicks Teds shoe with his foot and Ted flinches a little, opening his eyes now. His gaze meets Henrys and he immediately rolls his eyes. 

“What do you want?”, he asks, pulling the headphones off his ears, so that they just hang around his neck now. 

“I’m sorry”, Henry says. 

“For what?” He actually seems confused by that. 

“For being mean earlier. What you did was nice and I should have thanked you instead of reacting how I did.”

Ted raises an eyebrow, then he smiles, seeming obviously amused by that apology. 

“Yeah whatever”, he says. 

“Whatever?”, Henry asks. 

“It doesn’t matter. We said we’d forget about it so why don’t we?”

“Can’t you just accept my apology?”

“Okay, apology accepted.” He doesn’t sound sincere at all. Why does it always seem like he’s making fun of Henry? 

“What are you doing here?”, Henry asks, gesturing at Ted sitting on the floor in front of their room instead of being in their room.

“Why?” 

“Can’t I ask?”

“You can, but I don’t have to answer.”

“Do you know how annoying you are?”

Ted shrugs. 

“Are you doing that on purpose?”

“I don’t know. Am I?”

“Did you lock yourself out?”

Ted hesitates now. So he did. 

“I can let you in you know.”

“I’m fine.”

So Henry’s not the only mule. Maybe that’s why they don’t get along. Both of them are too stubborn to function. 

“Okay, that’s great”, Henry says, deciding that he won’t open the door for Ted. He’ll have to see how he gets in. It’s officially a Ted-problem, not a Henry-problem. 

“Why don’t you go back to your great fucking friends?”, Ted mumbles, nodding to his right. 

Henry looks up, just to see Paul in the door to his and Bills room, looking at him and Ted for some reason. 

“What?”, Henry asks. Why does Ted sound so bitter? 

“Is he afraid I’ll murder you?”, Ted asks, staring back at Paul now. 

“Would you?” Henry doesn’t think that Ted would actually murder anyone. He just really doesn’t know how else to answer. 

“Do you think I would?”

“I don’t know anything about you.” 

“Yeah, might as well headcanon me as a murderer. What did Paul tell you, huh?”

“Not much.”

“Not much”, Ted repeats quietly, “You know, Paul’s a dick.”

“He’s not.” 

“Yes he is.”

“You don’t know anything.”

Ted raises an eyebrow and Henry suddenly remembers that they literally grew up together. 

“Well you sound jealous”, Henry claims now. 

Ted scoffs. 

“Well fucking go to him if you love him so much”, he says. 

“I don’t love him, I’m just saying that you’re really mean for no reason at all.”

“You don’t know shit about me.”

“I guess.”

”Just leave, would you?” 

Henry sighs, then he decides to pull his key out of his pocket and unlock the door, pushing it open for Ted.

“You’re welcome”, he says, feeling sassy enough to say that for a moment, before he turns around and leaves him alone there.

—

“You okay?”, Paul asks, as soon as Henry reached him. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Did you reach Charlotte?”

Paul shakes his head, opening the door for Henry to step in now. Bill and Emma are both sitting on the floor. Emma pulled her legs to her chest and is hugging them, her chin resting on her knees. 

Bill’s on the phone, probably trying to reach Charlotte again. 

“No”, he mumbles now, frustratedly putting his phone down on the floor. 

Paul closes the door behind Henry and himself and Henry slowly makes his way into the room, sitting down on the floor as well. 

None of them really dares to say something so the next ten minutes just consist of them staying silent and staring at the floor. It feels like an eternity. 

Then Bills phone rings and everybody flinches and Bill immediately picks it up. 

“Charlotte? ... yes I know I called you seven times. We were worried. ... Because Sam’s a bad guy! ... oh.” 

Emma gestures at Bill to put the phone on speaker but he just shakes his head. 

“Calm down, Char, where are you? ... Okay, we’re at mine and Paul’s. ... Sure? ..okay.”

He hangs up and looks up now. 

“She’s coming.”

“Is she okay?”, Emma blurts out.

Bill nods. 

“Nothing happened. I think she’s just hurt because she realised that Sam is not a good guy and she had great expectations.”

About five minutes later it knocks on the door. 

Paul opens and Charlotte comes in. Everybody gets up and Bill just kind of hurries to her to hug her, letting his head fall in her neck. 

Charlotte frowns, but Henry can see that she cried. 

“Are you okay?”, he asks. 

She nods.

“I just left. He kept making advances and it made me uncomfortable so I left but I.. I just thought he was a good guy.”

She shrugs now, a tear tumbles down her cheek. 

“Oh Charlotte”, Emma mumbles. 

Bill pulls away from the hug now and instead wipes the tears off her cheeks. 

“I’m sorry Char”, he whispers. 

She shrugs. “I’d just like to meet a good guy for once”, she says.

“I know. Maybe you shouldn’t try too hard though.”

She nods. “I know, I’m hopeless.” 

Bill chuckles, before he pulls her closer to push a soft kiss on her forehead. “You’ll find someone one day.” 

She nods, then she looks past him at Henry and the others.

“I’m okay guys, thank you.” 

“Shit Char, we were fucking scared”, Emma mumbles. 

“I can look after myself”, Charlotte says. 

“I know! ..still.” 

“I love you guys.” 

“Well we love you too”, Paul says.

“Group-hug?”, Charlotte asks. 

Emma just runs in and hugs her for an answer. Henry can feel Bill reach for his hand and pull him in as well, before all of them are being tackled by Paul. 

— 

When Henry gets back into his and Teds room, Ted is laying on the bed, with sweatpants and no shirts on. 

This time, Henry is the one who rolls his eyes. 

“Can you not be naked in here?” 

“I’m not naked.” 

“Put a shirt on, will you?” 

“It’s hot in here.”

“That’s not my problem. Open a window.” 

“It’s even hotter outside. Jesus dude, you’re supposed to be smart.” 

“Why am I supposed to be smart?” 

“You look smart.”

“What? How?”

Ted looks at him for a moment, almost as if he’s considering whether or not to say it. 

“You look very nerdy”, he admits after a moment. 

“I don’t.”

“Yes you do! With your 80s jeans and your hair. And you’re literally wearing a long sleeved shirt under a T-Shirt? Why would you do that? It’s too hot for that anyway. And I’m pretty sure I saw you wear a turtleneck a few days ago.” 

It’s not that hot. And Henry is the kind of person who’s always cold, it’s not his problem that Ted has a problem with that. 

“Wow I’m sorry I’m offending you with my look. All you wear is baggy jeans and hoodies.”

Ted scoffs. 

“Put on a shirt”, Henry repeats and Ted sighs, before he sits up and reaches for a t-shirt that is laying on the floor along with some other clothes. 

“Would you mind tidying up?”, Henry asks, because he can’t take it anymore.

“Uh yeah I would mind.” 

He finally slips into the shirt. 

Henry sighs and goes over to his own bed now. 

“Why are you so narrow-minded anyway?”, Ted asks. 

“I’m not.”

“Just relax, would you? You always seem so stressed.”

“Annoying people stress me out.”

“I’m annoying people?”

“Who else would it be?”

Ted scoffs. 

“You’re annoying”, he says. 

“Ugh come on.” 

“You started it!” 

“I did not.” 

“You did.”

“Just.. fuck you.” 

“Fuck me yourself.”

Henry raises an eyebrow. 

Ted rolls his eyes. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart, you’re not my type.” 

“What is your type? Girls?” 

Ted is so straight. Henry is pretty sure about that. 

“Not nerds, that’s for sure.” 

“Ugh.” 

“Pretty sure you’re not into murderers are you?” 

Henry sighs.  Of course he has to bring that up again. 

“I don’t think you’re a murderer”, Henry says, too tired to keep arguing with Ted.

“Well but how are you sure?”

“You’re not a murderer”, Henry claims again. 

Because let’s be honest, Ted wouldn’t be able to actually do it, even if he wanted to. 

Henry is pretty sure that he’s not as tough as he looks. He knows guys like him. Annoying, loud assholes. And by most of them, it’s a facade. 

“I once killed a cockroach”, Ted says. 

“We all did.”

“Maybe all of us are murderers then.”

“Maybe.”

And with that, the conversation is finally over. 


	5. Michelangelo’s David, Also Vampires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry has an admirer. Paul is wearing a vampire cape, Emma has the teeth. And Ted is there too.

“That guy keeps staring at you”, Emma says, gesturing at a guy who’s sitting about three tables in front of them. 

Henry shrugs lightly, while he tries not to stare back too much. 

They had really awkward eye contact earlier and Henry would very much like to avoid that happening a second time. 

He can see him turn around again, in his peripheral vision and Emma starts to freak out a little. 

“Dude! That guy’s into you.”

“No he’s not.”

“Yes he is!”

“Well I don’t care.”

“How do you not care? He’s hot.”

“He’s not my type”, Henry admits. For some reason, that guy looks too perfect. Like Ken. Henry is not into those kind of guys at all. 

“He’s everybody’s type”, Emma claims. 

Henry shakes his head, while he reaches for his water bottle, opening it too.

“No, he looks too perfect, that’s boring.” 

“Too perfect? What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“He looks like a sculpture. I don’t want to date Michelangelo’s David.”

He drinks now and that was a mistake as it turns out. 

“Because he has a tiny dick?”

Henry snorts, almost spitting out his water. Then he chokes on it and starts to cough. 

Emma just laughs next to him. 

“That’s not what I meant, good god”, he blurts out, as soon as he stopped coughing. 

“Hey are you alright?” 

He looks up just to see Michelangelo’s David in front of their table, looking down at him.

“Yes”, he manages to say. 

“I’m Mason.”

“Okay.”

Emma’s elbow hits him in the ribs. 

“Henry”, Henry quickly says, “And that’s Emma.”

“Henry”, he repeats quietly, his gaze sitting on Henry until it starts to make him uncomfortable. 

“How are you?”, he asks. 

“Great.” 

Henry doesn’t ask back, because he wants the conversation to end. Maybe it’s rude but the way that guy is staring at him is starting to creep him out. 

“How are you?”, Emma asks. 

“Amazing”, Mason says, still looking at Henry. 

“Looks like the class is starting”, Henry says, because their biology professor finally came in. 

“Will I see you again?”, Mason asks. 

“Probably? We’re both in this class.”

“Okay.” He grins, winks and leaves. 

“I take it back”, Emma whispers as soon as he’s gone. “He’s just hot, otherwise he’s weird as fuck.”

Henry chuckles, slowly relaxing again. 

“He’s not even hot”, he claims quietly, careful not to be too loud so Mason doesn’t hear them. 

“He is a little hot.”

“I take back what I said earlier, David is hotter. Michelangelo actually had taste.”

“You just say that because Michelangelo was gay.”

“Yes and maybe that makes him really relatable.”

Emma chuckles. 

Then she looks up and her smile disappears.

“Ugh David is still staring at you.”

“Mason”, Henry corrects. 

“Is that how people flirt?”

“Are you really asking _me_ how people flirt?” 

“Sorry you virgin.”

“Jesus Emma.”

“What?” 

“Is it obvious?”

She raises an eyebrow, looking actually surprised now. “Really?” 

“Oh so you didn’t mean it?” 

“No?”

“Well never mind.”

“Henry really?” 

“I mean I’m only almost 20. It’s not like I have to hurry.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I just never even kissed anyone.”

“But you’d want to?”

“Well not just anyone. You’re going to laugh at me now, but I want it to mean something.”

“I’m not going to laugh at you. That’s reasonable.”

“Is it?”

“Yes. You know my first kiss was shit and if I could do it again I would. With someone else too.”

“Who was it?”

“No one you know. A guy from high school. It was at a party and I had different friends back then and they kind of kept making fun of me because i didn’t have my first kiss yet and so I felt pressured and I just kissed the next best guy.” 

“Good god.”

“Yeah, fucking stupid huh?”

“Well your friends were pretty shit.”

“Yeah thank god I met Bill and Char later that year.”

“They’re great.”

“Yeah. You know, all I’m saying is take your time, okay? There’s no hurry, fuck society.”

“Okay. I mean I will.”

“That’s good.”

— 

When they get out of the biology room, Paul is waiting in front of it. Emma told Henry she’s meeting him earlier, so he’s not exactly surprised by that. 

What he’s surprised by is the fact that Paul is wearing a vampire cape. 

“Why?”, is all Henry manages to ask. 

“It’s Halloween!”, Paul grins. 

“In a week”, Henry adds. 

“Yeah whatever, Paul and I always do a week of subtle costumes and we also carve a giant pumpkin. It’s a tradition.”

“Where’s your costume then?”

Emma pulls out a set of plastic vampire teeth and puts it in her mouth. 

“Rawwwr!”, she makes, as if that’s the sound a vampire would make. 

“Are you a werewolf?”, Henry asks, just to tease her. 

She takes the teeth out. “Fuck you.”

Henry chuckles. Emma reminds him of his sister a lot and for some reason it actually helps him miss her a little less. Not that he would tell her he misses her, because she would use it against him forever. He loves Frankie but she can’t be trusted. 

“Don’t you like Halloween?”, Paul asks, disappointed now. 

“No, not really”, Henry admits. 

Henry’s never been that much into Halloween. Mostly because when he was younger, Frankie would make it her duty to scare the shit out of him in a weird kind of way every year, so he wasn’t particularly keen on that.

Henry always liked dressing up but stopped when he was about thirteen because suddenly he was too old for trick or treat, but also too self-conscious for Halloween parties. 

“Still wanna tag along for the pumpkin?”, Paul asks. 

“Oh? No, this seems like your thing. It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Absolutely.”

“Okay. But it’s a pretty boy.”

“You already have it?”

“Yeah, he’s in my car. We’re gonna get him now.”

“Why is it a boy?”

“We’re making him the Babadook this year.”

“Okay”, Henry says, trying to pretend to know who that is. 

“We had Beetlejuice last year. We even gave him green hair”, Emma explains. 

Thank god Henry knows that one. Thank god for the musical adaption. Henry also saw the movie, but only after obsessing over the musical soundtrack for a month. 

“Are you guys good at that?”

“We don’t want to brag but we learned some stuff over the years.” 

“Okay.”

“Wanna walk with us to the car?”

“I can walk you out.”

“That’s cool too.”

Paul reaches for his cape and makes a turn, trying to slam it down in a way the villains in vampire movies do it (but he kind of fails). 

Emma laughs and hugs him as they start to walk. Henry walks next to them. 

“Where are you going to carve it?”, he asks, feeling like he should fill the silence somehow. 

Paul answers enthusiastically. 

“At Emma’s And Charlottes! Char is with Bill anyway. I think they’re watching Downton Abbey again.”

They reach the door and Emma and Paul let go of each other, so they can go through. 

Paul steps outside first and when the others follow, Henry sees him bump into someone. The other person is Ted. He trips but manages to catch himself. Then he looks up and his eyes meet Paul’s and for a few seconds everything is quiet. Ted has tears in his eyes. Like he cried but dried his tears. Or he was about to cry before he bumped into Paul. 

“Sorry”, Paul mumbles. 

Ted nods lightly, then smiles, but it’s not a happy smile. It’s like a mix between amusement and sadness.

“Man..”, Paul mutters, as if he wants to ask something. 

Ted just turns away and hurries in the direction he was heading in anyway. 

“Was he crying?”, Paul asks, after a few seconds of everybody having to process what just happened. 

“No”, Emma says. 

“I think so”, Henry admits.

“Oh”, Paul makes. 

“I’ll see you guys”, Henry says, hurrying after Ted now. 

He’s not sure why. 

Why is he going after him? 

Why is he even nice to him? It’s not like Ted is treating him with respect. 

He can see Ted disappear in the building to the boys dorms and starts to run now. He’s probably just going to their room anyway, right? 

When Henry steps into their room, Ted’s not there. Or at least that’s what he thinks until he hears him in the bathroom. 

“Ted?”, he asks, hesitantly. 

Ted doesn’t answer, but the water is running in the sink. 

Henry closes the door behind himself, still not sure what the hell he’s doing there. Maybe Ted wants to be alone. Maybe he should go. 

Henry reaches for the handle of the door again, deciding to leave Ted alone, when the bathroom door bangs open. 

Henry flinches and looks at Ted. His eyes are still slightly reddened but otherwise you can’t tell. Henry wouldn’t be able to tell he cried, if he didn’t see it earlier. 

“What do you want?”, Ted asks.

“I.. just..” What does he want? “Were you crying?”, Henry blurts out. 

“No.”

“But I.. but you were. Are you okay?”

“Why did you ask if you’re so fucking sure?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I am. You can die in peace now.”

“Ted seriously.”

“Why the fuck do you care?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why are you always so.. fucking nice to me?”

“What?”

“You’re so nice.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“And that’s bad?”

“I don’t know. Kind of makes it hard to hate you.”

“Why do you want to hate me?” 

“Because you’re nosy and I hate your friends.”

Henry hesitates. Ouch. 

“Is there something you want to say?”, Henry asks. 

“No, you’re the one who followed me here.”

“To make sure you’re okay! But apparently you’re well enough to still be a goddamn asshole.”

Ted stops for a moment, then a slight smile forms on his lips. “Touché”, he says. 

What? Henry doesn’t even know what’s going on anymore. 

Ted sighs now. “Listen, Henry Hidgens”, he says, stepping closer to him now, “I’m going through some shit right now and I let it out on you and that’s not fair.” 

“It’s not”, Henry agrees. 

Ted nods, then starts to chew on his bottom lip, tilting his head as if he’s trying to get himself to do or say something. 

“I’m sorry”, he finally fumbles out. 

“Okay”, Henry says. 

“Okay?” 

“Yes. Thank you for acknowledging your mistake.”

Ted smiles, rolling his eyes now. 

“Why do you have to be so weirdly professional about it?”

“How else should I react?”

“I don’t know. You’re being too nice again. This world is going to crush you someday.”

“Is that a threat?”

“I hope not, my dear.”

Henry thinks about commenting on the fact that he’s not, neither will he ever be _‘Ted’s dear’_ but then he decides to just leave it at that. Ted probably just uses pet names for everyone anyway.


	6. Exams Before Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry is stressed and Ted is actually nice about it for a while

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of not eating  
\- mention of food  
\- crying  
\- studying

Christmas is coming up, as well as exams and Henry is in a constant state of stress. 

And it‘s hard to explain but whenever he feels stressed, he gets really mad at people who seem relaxed. 

Emma and the others started a study group, which Henry didn‘t join, because he‘s always been better studying on his own. Isolation is the key when it comes to concentration, at least for him. 

He‘s been studying for 7 hours straight on that day now, it‘s not like his brain is working anymore and he‘s also about to cry. 

He pulls the blanket closer around his shoulders and starts to massage his temples. 

Why is it so cold in the room? Why does Ted have to keep opening the window? 

Ted’s just sitting at his desk, feet on the desk and headphones on. 

“Ted?”, Henry asks. 

Ted doesn’t react, because of his goddamn headphones. 

Henry takes his eraser and throws it at Ted, hitting him in the shoulder and regretting it immediately. 

Ted turns around, pulling the headphones off. “What the fuck, man?”

“Can you close the window?”

“Why?”

“I’m cold.”

He nods lightly. 

“Please”, Henry adds. He’s really going to cry soon. Every time he‘s stressed, the tears start rolling at some point. It’s only about time. 

Ted frowns, then he gets up. 

“Are you okay?”, he asks, while he closes the window. 

Henry nods. 

“Yes”, he says, as he tries to focus on his notes again. 

“Nah, darling.“

“Seriously Ted, stop it with the goddamn pet names.” He’s been doing it more and more in the past weeks and Henry actually got used to it, but now everything is too much. 

Ted holds his arms up, like he’s surrendering. “Okay.”

“I have to concentrate, okay? And I can’t when it’s so cold in here, that I can’t.. can’t think!”

“I’m sorry. I closed the window“, he sounds pissed now. 

Henry buries his head in his hands, pressing his eyelids together when he can feel the tears come. 

“Henry?”

He bites down on his lip. Don’t cry. 

“Dude, you’ve been sitting here all day. When was the last time you ate? Are you drinking enough?”

“I don’t have time for that!”

There he is. The whiny Henry he becomes, when he’s stressed. Henry hates that, but right now he hates everything anyway so he’s gonna care about behaving like a child later. 

“I’ll get you something.”

“What?”, Henry chokes out, looking up now. 

Ted is still standing in front of him, but everything is blurry because the tears won the fight. 

“You’re hungry. I’ll get you something.” 

Henry has to admit he _is_ really hungry. But he doesn’t want that to be Teds problem. 

“No you don’t have to.”

“What do you want?”

“I’m fine Ted.”

“A burger?”

“Ted.”

“Pizza? Sushi?”

Henry frowns. “Sushi?”

“Okay.”

“No!”

“No? What then?”

“You don’t have to bring me food, good god.”

“You’re literally crying right now. I’m the one who has to put up with this.” 

“Well you don’t have to be so mean about it! I’m gonna fail this exam, I’m allowed to cry.”

“You’re not gonna fail anything, stop being so dramatic.”

“They’re gonna throw me from college.”

“No?! Shit dude, calm down.”

“And then I’ll have nothing. I’ll end up on the street because I’m too stupid for biology.”

“Why would you major in biology anyway?”

“It’s interesting!” Henry’s voice is hoarse and keeps breaking. 

Ted tilts his head now. 

“No?!”

Henry scoffs. 

“Can you just leave me alone? You’re getting on my nerves.” 

“This is my room too.”

“Good god!”

“Are you a vegetarian?”

“What?”

“Are you?”

“No.”

“Any allergies?”

“Ted I don’t want you to bring me food.”

“Then stop being such a whiny bitch.”

“Can you just shut up?”

“Apparently not.”

“Ugh!” 

Henry buries his head in his hands again, taking a deep breath now. 

Then the door falls shut and when Henry looks up, Ted is gone. 

He frowns and tries to focus on his notes again.

Ted gets back about half an hour later. Basically the door just swings open, making Henry (who was deeply focused on biology) flinch. 

Then a paperback flies at him. 

“What is this?”, he manages to ask after staring at it for a while. 

“A burger and fries. You’re welcome.” 

“You didn’t have to.”

“Well but I did it. What are you gonna do about it?”

“What if I don’t eat it?”

“Then perfectly good food will go to waste.” 

Gosh, Henry is so fucking hungry. And it smells amazing. 

Henry just keeps staring at Ted. He can’t believe it. Like that was _actually_ kind of nice. 

“What? Do you think I poisoned it?”

“Maybe you did.”

“I totally did.”

“See.”

Ted smiles. 

“Just eat it, will you?” 

“Okay”, Henry gives in, “Thank you.”

— 

Henry and Ted are both sitting on Henrys bed, empty containers safely put back in the paperback, Ted brought the food in. Ted is sitting on Henrys bed because his own is - once again - full of other stuff. He’s just kind of on his phone. Either he doesn’t have to study or he doesn’t want to. 

“Thank you”, Henry mumbles again, too tired <strike>and too gay</strike> to sit normally, so he’s just kind of leaning against the wall, one leg hanging over the footboard of the bed. 

“Don’t mention it.”

“I wanna mention it. You can be really nice.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“The world is going to crush you someday”, he whispers, quoting Ted from a few weeks ago. For some reason that sentence stuck to him like bubblegum. 

“Is that a threat?”, Ted asks. 

“I hope not.” 

“Don’t you think you’ve studied enough?”

“I feel like I don’t know anything.”

“You know, you’ll black out tomorrow if you don’t sleep enough.” 

“I guess.”

“Seriously. You won’t be able to concentrate.”

“I know, but I still have so much to put into my brain and if I don’t at least read through it once more, I will hate myself for it forever.” 

He yawns right after he ended that sentence. He sinks sideways down the wall because it’s a lot of work to sit upwards. It’s just too bad that Ted is sitting there. 

Henry immediately scrambles up again, after his head touched Teds shoulder for about a second. He’s not going to be weird and fall asleep on Teds shoulder, good god. Ted only brought him food, no need to go all movie-cliché on him now. 

“It’s okay”, Ted says, but there’s discomfort in his voice. Maybe Henry’s imagining that, but he still ends up feeling really bad about it.

“Sorry”, he mutters, “I lost control over my balance.”

“You wanna cuddle me so bad?”, Ted asks. 

_And _the asshole is back. 

“I don’t wanna cuddle you!”

“Why not?” 

“Why would I want that?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one making advances.”

“Good god.” 

Ted‘s one of those straight guys who think every gay guy is into them, isn‘t he? Henry is pretty sure he is. That‘s just great. 

“Don’t you have to study?”, Ted asks. 

“Don’t you have to tidy up your side of the room?” (Henry can’t think of a better comeback. This is pathetic and he’s a little embarrassed) 

“Are you my mom?”

“Seriously. There’s so much stuff on the bed.”

“And that’s where it belongs.”

“Ugh.” 

Henry gently pushes Ted off his bed and he does get up, going back over to his desk. 

“It was nice sitting with you”, he says. 

“Likewise”, Henry mutters. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda short and I’m not sure why I wrote it but I hope you enjoy it


	7. Frankie Hidgens Is Coming To Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You better watch out  
You better not cry  
You better not pout  
I'm telling you why  
Frankie Hidgens is coming to town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frankie wears a beret in this, I’m sorry Honey (also ily so much don‘t hate me ily)

“I’m coming for you.”

“Shut up Frankie.” 

She really _has_ to greet him weird every single time they‘re on the phone, doesn‘t she? 

“I’m Santa Claus. You’re the town.”

“What?”

“It’s because..” - that’s when she starts to sing - “..Santa Claus is coming-“ 

“Get to the point.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I’m a lot of fun.”

“Apparently not.”

“Why are you calling?”

“Well you know I’m coming home for Christmas and mom said I should come and get you on my way there. Because you don’t have a car.”

“That’s considerate.”

“Yeah and you can show me your college! And your room and your friends. Do you have friends?”

“You know I do, I told you.”

“I thought it may have been a fever dream.”

“Fuck you.” 

“Fuck _you_.” 

“When are you coming?”

“December 21st.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll text you when I leave here.”

“Okay.” 

“Well see ya.”

“See you.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“It’s not Christmas yet.”

“You’re _literally_ no fun.”

“Ugh, see you.”

“Bye!”

She hangs up and Henry pushes open the door to the biology room. 

Emma’s already sitting on her usual seat. 

So is Mason, who looks up as soon as Henry steps in. 

Henry sits down next to Emma, eyeing Mason in his peripheral vision. 

“This is starting to freak me out”, he mumbles. 

“Huh?”, she makes, obviously still half asleep. 

“Mason.”

“Ugh yeah. Same though. What a creep.”

“He’s just... always watching?”

“Hey I’ll fight him for you if you want me to.”

“It’s alright.”

“Just tell me if you change your mind.” 

“Okay, well thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.”

— 

Henry survived the exams. And he actually didn’t do too bad (he thinks). 

It’s december 21st and Frankie texted him when she left and also half an hour ago, when she made a stop to pee. 

She should arrive any minute now. 

Henry’s just kind of waiting at the car park where he told her to park, hoping that she’s going to find it. 

She pulls in ten minutes after she said she’d arrive and then takes another ten minutes to park properly. 

Henry walks towards her when she finally gets out of the car. 

She’s wearing a squeaky yellow raincoat, red boots, dark blue dungarees and also a wine-y red beret. 

“It’s too cold for a raincoat. Why don’t you wear an actual jacket?”, Henry greets her. 

“I look really good in it.” 

“That’s so many colours Franks.”

“That’s the goal.” 

“Oh man.” 

“Hello nice to see you too, you look amazing Henry”, she says, annoyed now. 

“Hi”, he says, hugging her, “You look great too, you know you can pull it off.”

“I know.”

“Let’s go?”

She gets visibly excited. 

“Yes!” 

—

“This is my room”, Henry says, pointing at the door. 

“Can we go in?”

“Yes.” 

Frankie waits while Henry does nothing. 

“What?”, she finally asks. 

“My roommate can be really mean. I just want to warn you, okay?”

“Yeah whatever.”

“Seriously.”

“Do you like him?”

“No.”

“Oh so like _really_ mean?”

“Yes, he’s an asshole.” 

“Okay then. You warned me. We can go in.”

“Okay.”

Henry opens the door and steps inside, holding it open for Frankie as well. 

Ted is seated cross-legged on his bed, his laptop sitting in front of him. He looks up when they step inside and raises an eyebrow. 

“Wow Hidgens, bringing a lady over?”

Frankie chuckles, maybe because Ted called her a lady, maybe because Henry is gay. 

“That’s my sister, don’t be mean”, Henry says. 

“Oh well hello then.”

Henry turns to Frankie. “Franks that’s Ted, my roommate. Ted that’s Frankie.”

“Hi”, Frankie says, waving lightly. 

“Hi”, Ted answers, actually gifting her a smile. 

“Okay, now you’ve seen my room”, Henry says, about to leave again. 

“Nuh-uh!”, Frankie makes, stepping further inside. 

“How’s Wilson?”, she asks, walking over to the cactus she gifted him before both of them went to college. 

“Great”, Henry says, hoping that’s true while he realises that he forgot to water it. 

Ted looks up again, throwing Henry a confused look. 

“The cactus”, Henry says, while Frankie lifts him from Henrys shelf, examining it. 

“His name is Wilson?”, Ted asks. 

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Henry you didn’t water him, did you?”, Frankie asks. 

“Of course I watered him!”

“He didn’t”, Ted chimes in. 

“Shut up”, Henry says. 

“Oh my god”, Frankie mumbles and carries Wilson to the bathroom to give him some water. 

“She’s so much cooler than you”, Ted says, when she’s gone. 

“She’s not.”

He smirks. “Yes she is.”

“Ugh.” Henry just gives up. 

“You have to start watering him at least once a month or I’ll take him back, okay?”, Frankie says, when she gets back, gently placing Wilson back on the shelf. 

“Okay”, Henry says. 

“Promise.”

“I promise.”

She holds out her pinky and he sighs, before he interlocks his pinky with hers. 

“Cute”, Ted comments. 

“Are you going home over christmas too?”, Frankie asks him. 

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“It’s in three days.”

“Yeah, like I said, we’ll see.”

“Okay.”

“When are you leaving?”, Ted looks up, looking at Henry now. 

“In an hour or something.” 

“Oh okay. You’re not going to the party?”

Frankies eyes light up and Henry wishes he could just die on spot. 

“Henry what party?”

Ted smiles when he realises what he did and all Henry can do is stare at him and shake his head in disbelief. 

“No party”, Henry says. 

“It’s a christmas themed party at the cafeteria”, Ted explains. 

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah, we’re not going”, Henry says. 

“I’ll work on that”, Frankie claims. 

“I still haven’t shown you the rest of the campus, come on.” 

Henry just leaves the room. 

“Maybe I’ll see you there!”, Frankie says to Ted, “Bye.”

“See you”, Ted says, then Frankie finally closes the door, following Henry outside. 

“He was nice”, she notes. 

“To fool you.”

“You’re mean. I bet he’s alright.”

“He’s not nice Frankie.”

“Sure.”

They walk in silence for a while, until Frankie speaks up again. 

“Can we go to the party?”

“No.”

“Come on.”

“We told mom and dad we’d be home tonight.”

“I can call them and say we’re coming tomorrow. They won’t mind.”

They really wouldn’t. 

“I don’t know Franks. Where would you sleep?”

“On the floor? Or in your bed with you, we’d totally fit in there together.”

“It’s not like it’s going to be a great party. Just lots of drunk people in one place.”

“Yes! Do you know how many college parties I’ve been to? One! They barely do that in Harvard!”

“I’ve only been to one too and it was more than enough.”

“Come on Henry.”

“No.”

“Why?” 

“I just don’t want to go.”

“Maybe we can find you a boyfriend!”

“Why would we do that?”

“Because you’re lonely as fuck.”

“I’m not.” 

“If you keep playing it safe, you’ll die a virgin.”

“I don’t care.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Liar?”

“Okay. Maybe.”

“So you do care?”

“I care a little but I don’t want to admit it, okay?”

“Okay, god you’re desperate.” 

“I’m not desperate.”

“Yes you are.” 

“We’re not going to the party.”

“We’re totally going.”

Henry just kind of walked Frankie to the girls dorms, so she can meet Emma and Charlotte. 

Paul and Bill might be there as well anyway. 

Henry learned that they mostly hang out at Emma’s and Charlottes because Paul and Bill have horrible neighbours, who keep listening to music way too loud. 

Paul and Emma even have a bet about it. Emma thinks they’re doing it to cover up potential sex noises, Paul - ever the innocent mind - thinks they’re doing it because they have bad hearing. 

Everybody supports Paul’s theory because no one wants to admit that Emma might be right. 

“Where are we going? Who am I meeting?”, Frankie asks when Henry leads her through the corridor. 

“My friends.” 

Emma’s been excited about it all week. She made Henry promise that he and Frankie won’t leave before he introduced them. 

“Oh!” 

Henry stops in front of the door and knocks on it. “Please don’t be weird.”

“I’m offended!”

Before he can add something to that, Emma opens the door. 

Her whole face lights up in seconds. 

“Hey! Oh my god!”

“Hi!”, Frankie says, excitement dominating her voice. 

They just kind of hug like they‘ve known each other for a while. 

Henry frowns and looks past them into the room, where Bill and Charlotte are seated on Charlottes bed (but getting up now) and Paul is already walking towards him. 

“I’m Emma”, Emma says when they separate. 

“Frankie.”

“I know.” 

They laugh and now Charlotte pushes past Paul. 

“Hi I’m Charlotte! Nice to meet you!” 

She flies into Frankies arms, hugging her as well now. 

“Hi”, Frankie says. 

“I’m Paul”, Paul says as soon as Charlotte backed away from a very long hug. 

Paul decides to be weirdly formal and extends his hand to shake Frankies, making her laugh quietly, while she takes it. 

Henry just kind of leans into the doorframe and waits for them to be done. Why was he even thinking he had to introduce her? She’s very well capable of introducing herself. 

Finally Bill steps forward. 

“Hi, my name’s Bill.” They go in a mix between handshake and a hug and both of them laugh about it a bit. 

Charlotte steps next to Henry, leaning against him a little. 

“I like her”, she says. 

Henry smiles. “Everybody does for some reason.”

“I heard that”, Frankie chimes in. 

“No you didn’t.”

“You’re just jealous because I’m cooler than you.” 

“I’m not!”

Frankie rolls her eyes and Charlotte laughs quietly.

“You’re really leaving in a bit?”, she then asks. 

“I suppose. Frankie is still trying to talk me into going to that damn christmas party.”

“My condolences.” 

“You’re going to the party?”, Emma asks. 

“No”, Henry affirms. 

At the same time Frankie goes: “I really want to!”

“You should come! It’s gonna be amazing”, Paul says. 

Frankies eyes light up and she turns back to Henry. 

“Can we go? Please?”, she asks.

Emma comes next to her and puts her arm around her now. 

“Please Henry?”, she asks as well, stabbing him in the back like the traitor she is. 

“Guys?!”, Henry fumbles out, looking for help. 

“I think Henry doesn’t want to”, Bill says, supporting Henry at least a little now. 

“But Frankie does!”, Emma says.

Henry sighs. 

“I don’t have a choice do I?”

“No, _I’m_ going”, Frankie says. 

Charlotte puts her head down on his shoulder and hugs him, maybe to give him some kind of comfort. 

“You can stay with me and Bill somewhere at the side where not a lot of people are.”

“Thanks, I’d love that”, Henry gives in. 

—

Frankie stayed with Emma and the others and Henry went back to his room, to get a sweater or at least something warmer than the shirt he’s wearing. 

When he gets inside, Ted hasn’t moved. 

“Why did you have to mention it?”, Henry greets him quietly, seriously pissed now. 

Ted doesn’t look up. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Seriously. I hate you.”

“That’s nothing new. People tend to do that.”

Henry hesitates for a moment. 

“What?”

“What?”, Ted asks back, as if he didn’t just say something very revealing about his character depth. 

Henry opens his mouth to say something, but doesn’t know what because he suddenly feels bad about being mean again. 

“Well darling, why do _you_ hate me?”, Ted asks, his gaze still tied to the screen of his laptop. 

“Ted are you okay?”

“Is it because of that party? Because I told your sister?”

Henry frowns. Ted seems seriously mad. Like this isn’t him being playfully mean, this isn’t him being mean like he’s mean to everyone. This feels more personal. Like Ted is actually mad at him. 

“Are you going to answer?”, Ted asks. 

“Yeah”, Henry fumbles out, “I’d rather drive home to my parents, but ..are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I was mean.”

Ted looks up now, scanning him for a moment. Then his expression softens. 

“I’m not mad at _you_”, he says, “I apologise.” 

“Oh.” So he’s mad at someone else. 

Ted shuts his laptop, giving all of his attention to Henry. 

“So you’re going to the party?”

“Well I have to.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I don’t want to go there.” 

“Maybe I wanted you there.”

“You didn’t.”

“No, you’re right. I don’t care.” 

“Well thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome dearest.”

“Are you really fine?” 

“I’m great.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry decides to leave it at that and then opens his closet to get a pullover. 

Ted keeps watching him and for some reason that makes him nervous. 

He turns back around. 

“Ted why do you not know what you’re doing on christmas?”

“I know what I’m doing now, actually. I’m staying here.” 

“Oh.”

“Don’t pity me like that.”

“I didn’t pity you.”

“Yeah you do. It’s annoying. My mom’s gonna be at her parents place in London and I’m not gonna fly there just to celebrate the birth of a guy I don’t even believe in. It’s not sad, it’s fine.”

“Okay.” 

“Have fun with your family.”

“Are you going to be here all alone?”

“Why are you asking so many questions?”

“I don’t know. You shouldn’t be alone on christmas.” 

“I think you still don’t understand that it’s literally none of your business what I should or shouldn’t do.”

“Well maybe I care about you.” Henry is not sure why he said that. It’s the truth, for some reason, but it’s not like he had to admit it. He probably shouldn’t have. 

“Why the hell would you do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Just go to the party, will you? Maybe I’ll see you there.”

“Okay.”

Ted doesn’t answer anymore and instead unlocks his phone, typing something now. 

Henry quickly pulls out the next best pullover he can find, it’s woolly and warm. 

“Well see you”, he then says and leaves. 


	8. Empty Corridors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry and the others go to the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- non consensual kiss (sexual assault)  
\- crying  
\- alcohol (mentioned)

The pullover he picked is too warm and Henry is sweating into the shirt he’s wearing under it. He curses himself for choosing that combination, because he can‘t just take the pullover off either, because then he’d be cold. 

Frankie disappeared with Emma and Paul at some point and Henry is really thankful for the fact that he found Bill, all alone by the snacks. Charlotte is in the bathroom, Bill said and since then about five minutes passed. 

Both of them are just kind of leaning there against the wall, staring at all the drunk people while trying to gain enough confidence to maybe dance as well (It’s not like there’s a possibility that that will happen, but still). 

“I hate this”, Bill finally notes. 

Henry nods. “Me too.”

“I hate feeling like this too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like.. like I can’t just let go and get drunk and dance. I just can’t. People tell me it’s easy but it’s not. So I end up standing here and I’m not having fun and it’s my fault and I hate myself for it but I can’t do anything about it. And then I wreck everyone’s good mood, because they ask me to let go and I’m like ‘no, I can’t’ and then they feel bad because I’m just standing here. And they won’t ever understand this and I can’t explain.” 

Henry hesitates. Because somehow he just got everything Bill said. 

“I feel that too.“

Bill looks up. 

“Really?”

“Yes. You managed to put it all into words. I hate this.”

“Thank god. Not even Charlotte understands this when I try to explain it to her, even though she gets everything else.”

“Well I’m here for you.”

“Thanks man, I’m here for you too.” 

Henry smiles and Bill nudges him in the shoulder. 

Henry looks up just to see Ted come in, going straight for the booze. 

A girl is standing there, giving out red plastic cups to everyone who asks for one. 

Ted arrives in front of her and says something, making her giggle. Of course. 

Henry can’t deny that Ted is handsome, but for some reason he didn’t expect him to have that kind of effect on women. 

She hands him a cup and he chugs it. She laughs and fills another one. 

“Hey”, someone says. And when Henry looks up, it’s Mason, smiling at him. 

“Hi?”, Henry answers. 

“Hey, I’m Bill”, Bill says. 

Mason gifts Bill a quick nod and then looks back at Henry. 

“Do you wanna dance?”

Henry doesn’t know what to say. Because by no means does he want to dance, but he also doesn’t want to anger Mason. That guy doesn’t seem to get a ‘No’. 

“I-..no. I’m sorry”, Henry finally answers. 

Mason smiles. “Your loss”, he says, before he just leaves. 

Henry slowly relaxes again, then he looks over at Bill. 

“Who was that?”, Bill asks. 

“Mason.”

That doesn’t seem to answer his question. He still looks confused. 

“Didn’t Emma tell you?”, Henry therefore continues, “The guy from biology.”

“Oh! Your stalker?” 

Henry nods. 

That’s what Emma likes to call Mason by now._ ‘Henry’s stalker’. _Maybe she’s right about it. 

“Hey guys.” 

Henry flinches.

“Sorry. What were you talking about?”, Charlotte asks. 

“Henrys stalker just visited”, Bill says. 

“The hot one? The one that just left?”

“He’s not hot”, Henry mumbles. 

“I think he is”, Charlotte claims. 

“Your taste in guys is horrible”, Bill notes. 

Charlotte opens her mouth to object, but eventually closes it again when all of them collectively realise that Bill is actually right. 

Henry looks around the crowd once more, before his gaze gets caught by Ted again. 

He‘s leaning closer to the girl now, whispering in her ear. She laughs again. 

“What are you looking at?”, Charlotte asks. 

“No one. ..nothing.”

Her gaze falls on something behind him, most likely Ted. 

“Oh dear. Let’s hope he’s not gonna bring her to your room.”

“To do what?”

“Sweetheart..”, Charlotte mumbles. 

Henry looks up. 

“What?”

“He’s flirting with her. Not for nothing”, Bill says. 

“Oh my god. He wouldn’t”, Henry protests, as soon as he realises what they are talking about. 

Bill shrugs. 

“Well you’ll find out tonight”, Charlotte says. 

“Can we change the topic?” Henry isn’t exactly eager on thinking about Ted going all hot and heavy with her in their room. Because it’s _their_ room and he has to sleep in it.

“I think I’m getting something to drink. Does anyone want anything?”, Charlotte asks. 

“Do they have water?”, Henry asks. Bill nods eagerly. 

Charlotte rolls her eyes. 

“Drink out of the faucet in the bathroom why don’t you?”

“Water is tasty!”, Bill defends himself and Henry, sounding really offended. 

“I’ll see if they have water”, Charlotte gives in, sighing before she leaves. 

— 

An hour passes. Ted and the girl disappeared together to god knows where (Henry would rather not know) and Charlotte left him and Bill alone to go and dance. 

At least he and Bill found a couch to sit on. Henry is just kind of leaning on Bills shoulder by now, because he‘s too tired to balance his head. 

Paul stumbles towards them now, laughing. “Hey!”, he says. 

Then his gaze wanders around, looking for something or someone. 

“Is Frankie not here?” 

“I thought she was with you and Emma”, Henry says, immediately getting concerned. 

“She left half an hour ago. She said she was going to look for you.”

“She didn’t find me.” 

Henry gets up now and Paul comes towards him, holding up his arms to calm him down. 

“Hey hey”, he whispers, “she‘s gonna be fine.”

“I’ll look for her”, Henry just says, pushing past him now. 

He knows Frankie. And of course he knows she can look after herself. Or she can usually. Just not if she’s drunk. Especially not if anyone put something in her drink. God, he doesn’t even want to think about it. 

Henry just kind of hurries through the people, panicking more and more the longer he doesn’t find her. 

Eventually he leaves the cafeteria, running through the corridors instead. 

He comes to a stop soon, slowly giving up. What is he doing here? 

He takes a breath, trying to stay calm and not think about Frankie laying dead in a ditch somewhere. 

Where didn’t he look yet? 

Maybe she’s back in the cafeteria already, maybe she just went to pee and there was a long line at the bathroom. 

Henry slowly makes his way back to the cafeteria. It’s okay, everything’s going to be fine. 

The corridor is completely empty and the longer Henry walks through it, hearing nothing but his own footsteps and his breath, the more it starts to freak him out. 

He didn’t think it could get worse, until he hears another pair of footsteps, beside his own. He keeps turning around and walks quicker to the point where he almost feels a little paranoid. 

He nearly runs into someone, when he turns around the corner. 

“Woah!”, the guy says, laughing a little and taking a step back. 

For about a second, Henry relaxes. Then he realises that he knows him and it’s Mason again. 

“Oh, hi Henry”, he says now, smiling brightly. 

“Hi.”

“Are you enjoying the party?”

“No.”

He chuckles, nodding lightly. Then he steps closer, causing Henry to stumble backwards. 

“Do you wanna go somewhere else?”, he asks. 

“What?” 

“My room for example.” 

“I’m in a hurry”, Henry fumbles out, trying to push past him. 

Mason gets a hold of his arm and pushes him against the nearest wall now, keeping him there by pressing his forearm against Henrys chest. 

“Come on”, Mason whispers, “There’s so much I wanna show you.” 

“I don’t want to.” 

Henry is still trying to stay calm, after he figured that Mason will probably get angry if he doesn’t. He’s already angry. And drunk. He smells like booze. 

Emma and Henry used to make fun of him but right now Henry is so scared, his heart is skipping more than one beat. 

He forgets to breath, when Masons eyes sink into his, staring at him way too intensely. 

“What?”, Henry manages to mutter. 

“What is wrong with you?”, Mason asks, “why do you keep avoiding me?”

“I-..” What is he supposed to say? He can’t tell him that he’s scared of him, Mason would just get even more mad. 

“I literally never did anything wrong! I’m always nice to you and you avoid me like I’m a bad person.”

“I’m sorry I’m just not interested.”

“Oh I think you are.”

“What?”

“Are you into that? Leading me on? Do you want me to chase after you?”

“No.”

“Yes you do. You’re such a tease.”

“Please leave me alone.” 

His voice is shaking now.

Mason only steps closer. Henry presses his back against the wall in an attempt to escape him, but it’s not like there’s much space to escape. 

Masons breath is on his lips now and Henry feels like he’s about to cry. 

He turns his head away, so that Masons breath is only hitting his cheek. 

“I can chase you. ..I mean, I surely will. I know that’s what you want. I know guys like you. You don’t want to make it too easy, you want an adventure.” 

Henry presses his eyes shut. 

“I can do it the hard way, I don’t mind”, Mason continues. Then he grabs Henrys chin and forces him to look at him. Henry opens his eyes again, looking into Masons, which are way too close. 

Maybe Henry shouldn’t have worried about Frankie. Maybe he’s the one who’ll end up dead in a ditch. 

Mason leans closer, his lips brushing Henrys cheek, then his ear. 

“Actually I’m into it”, Mason whispers, “But you know I am, don’t you?” 

He pushes a kiss on Henrys cheek, right next to his ear. Then he lets go of Henry’s chin and lets his his fingers trace Henrys shoulder instead, down his arm, then back up all the way to his collarbones. 

Henry tries to push him away and succeeds for about a second, before Masons grip gets stronger. 

Mason leans closer and then his lips roughly hit Henrys in a forced kiss. 

The back of Henry’s head bumps against the wall when he tries to back away. Henry doesn’t even comprehend what’s happening at first. 

Masons tongue pushes against his teeth and he makes the mistake to gasp in shock, allowing Mason entrance by mistake. 

Tears form in his eyes, because he can’t breath, suddenly. He struggles to push Mason off, his hands pressing against Masons torso without any success. He feels so powerless. 

The kiss lasts forever and Henry is pretty sure he’s going to suffocate. 

Then he manages to bite down on Masons tongue and Mason flinches, pulling away. Henry almost hates himself for not thinking of that earlier. 

It made Mason angry. 

Of course it did. 

But at least he stopped. 

Henry is gasping for air, he can’t even defend himself when Mason pushes him back against the wall. 

“Are you fucking serious?”, he shouts, furious now. 

“Leave me alone”, Henry coughs, holding his hands up to keep him away. 

Tears are dwelling in his eyes and his stomach feels twisted, maybe he’s going to throw up. 

“Please”, he mutters. 

“Fuck you“, Mason hisses, before spitting some blood on the floor. 

Henry hears footsteps and quietly starts to pray that whoever that is, is coming towards them. 

Mason already takes a step back, giving Henry some space to breath. 

Then Ted comes around the corner, holding his phone to his ear. His gaze hits them and he immediately stops, just staring at them for a moment. 

He slowly let‘s the phone sink, pushing some button and letting it slip into the pocket of his jacket, before he comes towards them. 

„Everything alright?“, he asks. 

“Yes we’re just talking”, Mason says. 

Henry can feel Teds eyes on him and he wants to say ‘No’ and ‘Please don’t go’ but he literally can not talk.

So he just looks at Ted and manages to lightly shake his head, hoping that Ted will somehow be able to just read the fear in his eyes. 

And Ted actually seems to notice. 

“Why don’t you leave him alone?”, he asks Mason. 

“We’re literally just having a conversation!“

“I said fuck off.” 

Ted steps closer to Mason and when Mason doesn‘t move, he sighs. 

“Don’t make me punch you.”

“I didn’t do anything!”, Mason defends himself. 

“Do you know how fucking suspicious that sounds?”

“Fuck you!” 

Ted raises his fist as if to punch him. 

Mason flinches and stumbles back a little. 

“Okay”, he mumbles and backs away. 

His eyes fall on Henry again. “We’ll talk!”, he adds, before he turns away and leaves. 

Henry takes a breath and it ends up pretty shaky. 

“You alright?”, Ted asks. And only now does Henry notice him swaying. He’s drunk. Henry can hear it in his voice as well. 

Henry nods quickly, pretending to be alright even though he’s not. 

Don’t cry, he thinks, don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. Not in front of him.  Please god just not in front of Ted Richards. 

“Sure?”, Ted keeps asking. 

Henry nods again, sniffing now and blinking more rapidly. 

“I guess you were already dealing with it, huh?”, Ted asks, sassily referring to Henrys words after Ted saved him from Sam. 

Henry sobs quietly, shaking his head. 

“Why do you have to be such a dick?”, he mutters. His voice breaks and he starts to cry. 

Ted frowns, opening his mouth now. Henry just pushes past him and hurries to the cafeteria. 


	9. Tears And Accusations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry cries and Charlotte and Bill try to comfort him. Plus he finally finds Frankie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:   
\- crying   
\- mention of sexual harassment   
\- mention of people being drunk

Henry stumbles through the drunk and dancing people, trying to get outside before he breaks down crying. 

“Henry?”, he can hear Charlotte. 

He doesn’t turn around or waits for her, instead he keeps going until he finally reached the big door that leads outside. He pushes it open and tumbles into the fresh air. 

He takes trembling, deep breaths, pressing his hands together as he tries to make them stop shaking. His vision rapidly goes blurrier, when the tears roll. He still hasn’t completely processed what just happened, but the panic or whatever it is, is making it hard to breath, sitting in his chest like a rock. 

“Henry?”

He hears the door fall shut behind him and then Charlotte appears in front of him, looking concerned. 

“You’re crying”, she states, as if that wasn‘t obvious. 

Henry only nods. His legs feel weak, like they‘re made out of wax. 

Charlotte reaches for his hands and he holds onto her, while he lets himself sink on the ground, slowly sitting down on the stairs in front of that door. Charlotte follows him, kneeling down in front of him while Henry suffocates on his tears. 

“Sweetheart”, she whispers, “Don’t forget to breath okay? You need to focus for me, can you?”

Henry nods and takes a deep breath.

“You’re doing perfect, keep going.”

Henry closes his eyes, but the first thing that appears behind them is Mason, staring him down. 

He quickly opens them again while he tries to focus on normalising his breathing rhythm. Putting all his focus on that kind of helps him forget about what Mason did for a second too.

He can hear the music go louder when someone pushes the door open again. 

“Hey”, it’s Bill. “Is everything alright?”

“Can you get him some water?”, Charlotte asks. 

“Sure.” 

The door closes and the music fades. 

“Bill is getting you some water”, Charlotte explains, unnecessarily. 

“Thank you.”

“What happened?”

Henry shrugs, then sobs harder again. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to or.. or can’t. It’s okay.”

“Sorry”, Henry mumbles. 

“No, it’s fine.”

She fumbles around in the pocket of her jacket until she pulls out a tissue, handing it to him. 

He takes it and just kind of buries his face in it, before he starts to tap the tears off his cheeks. 

After about a minute, the door opens again and the music get’s louder once again. 

“Hey”, Bill says, coming closer while the door falls shut, “I brought you some water.” 

He sits down next to Henry and hands him a water bottle.

“It’s without sparkles. You don’t like sparkling water, do you?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Henry takes it, also noticing the worried look Bill throws at Charlotte. 

“Thank you guys”, Henry mumbles again, “don’t worry, okay? I’m gonna be fine.”

He _is_ gonna be fine if Mason stays away. God knows what would have happened if Ted didn’t come. Maybe nothing, maybe a lot. Henry doesn’t want to imagine the possibilities. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Bill asks. 

Henry shakes his head. He really does not. 

“Can you just distract me?”, he therefore asks. 

“Okay, sure.. Uhm..”, both of them start to think of something and Henry drinks some of the water, hoping for some reason that it will help him forget the feeling and the taste of Masons tongue in his throat.

“Someone’s drink fell and then there was a puddle on the floor and Paul slipped in it”, Bill finally says. 

Charlotte laughs a little, nodding. 

“You should have seen it.”

Henry smiles at their attempt to make him feel better. “Is he okay?”

“Yes, he didn’t even fall. He just almost fell for about a minute but he eventually caught himself. It was like in a cartoon.” 

Henry chuckles now. 

“Thank you”, he mumbles. 

“We’re here for you.” 

Henry nods. 

Bill puts an arm around him and he leans into it a little, welcoming the comfort it provides. 

All of them just kind of sit in silence while Henry slowly calms down. 

Somehow his brain is forcing him to go through it all over and over again. Then he slowly remembers why he was there in the first place. 

“Frankie”, he mumbles, quickly sitting up. 

“What is it? Did you find her?”

“No, did you see her?”

“No.”

Henry gets up. 

“I have to find her”, he just says, already turning back to the door. 

Bill and Charlotte get up too. 

“We’ll help you”, Charlotte says. 

They follow him inside and back through the people. Henry keeps looking around the crowd but he can’t spot Frankies wavy dark-blonde hair, no matter how hard he tries. 

“Maybe she’s not in here”, Bill says. 

“Duh”, Charlotte mumbles. 

Henry just kind of walks to the door leading into the corridor and pushes it open. 

He waits for Charlotte and Bill to follow him because on no account is he going there alone again. 

They find Frankie and Ted. Exactly where Ted found Henry and Mason earlier. 

Frankie is leaning backwards against the wall and Ted is next to her, leaning sideways at the wall and talking to her. 

She seems pretty drunk and so does he, both of them are just kind of giggling about something. 

Oh god, he’s flirting with her, isn’t he? Just like he flirted with that other girl earlier. 

“Frankie”, Henry mumbles. 

She looks up and smiles immediately. 

“Hi!” 

“What are you doing?”, Henry asks, his gaze wandering to Ted now. 

“Oh we’re talking!”

Ted nods lightly. 

“Can I talk to Ted real quick?”, Henry asks, ready to throw hands. 

“Don’t be weird”, Frankie says, going over to Charlotte. 

“Can you try and make her drink some water?”, Henry asks. 

Charlotte and Bill nod and leave with Frankie. 

“Why are you so serious?”, Ted asks, seemingly amused. 

“Not Frankie”, Henry just says. 

“What?”

“I don’t care how many girls you screw but not my sister. Stay away from her.” 

Ted frowns. 

“Henry I wasn’t going to screw your sister. Jesus Christ.” 

“Just stay away from her”, Henry says, “Please.” 

His voice sounds whiny and he knows it. He’s so tired. 

Ted frowns and holds up his arms. 

“Dude, what’s up?” 

“What were you doing? Did you flirt with her?”

“No, she’s drunk. Also, she’s your sister.” 

“Don’t lie to me!”

“I swear we were just talking.” 

“Talking, huh?” 

“Wait, do you really think I was trying to bang your sister?” 

Henry is so mad at this point, he’s almost about to cry again. Tears formed in his eyes and he doesn’t even care. He’s so exhausted. He’s been through enough that evening, he ran out of patience. 

He steps closer to Ted and reaches for the collar of his shirt now, pushing him against the wall behind him. 

“Listen, I couldn’t care less what you do or who you do it with but not my sister! Alright? Stay the fuck away from Frankie! If you don’t, I will fight you. In more ways than just physically because let’s be honest, you’re stronger than me and you would win a physical fight. But I will fucking destroy you.“ 

The smile on Teds lips disappeared now. He’s frowning and his gaze is resting on Henry like he’s thinking about what to say next. 

“Understood?”, Henry asks. 

Ted nods. “I promise I will stay away”, he just says. 

Henry lets go of him now, patting his shirt even, before taking a step back. 

“Okay”, he mumbles, “See you.” 

He turns to go but Ted quickly follows him. 

“Hey man, about earlier-“ 

“What?”, Henry hisses. 

“I’m sorry, but are you alright? I mean you were crying. What happened?” 

“It’s none of your business.” 

Ted shrugs. “That’s fair I guess.” 

Henry just keeps walking when Ted stops. He can hear Ted turn around and leave in the other direction. 

After a bit, Henry hesitantly turns around just to see that he’s alone in that corridor. He stares at the empty walls and his heart starts to beat more rapidly when he realises that he’s alone again. He shouldn’t be alone here. 

He almost runs back to the cafeteria, hurrying through the door and taking a deep breath as soon as he made it back to the people. 

“Hey man.” 

He looks up just to see Paul and Bill wait for him. 

“Where’s Frankie?”, Henry blurts out. 

“Char and Em took her to their room. She was really drunk.”

Henry nods lightly. 

“Okay”, he mumbles, relieved that neither of them is laying dead in a ditch. 

“Are you alright?”, Bill asks, watching him. 

“Yeah, just really tired”, Henry lies. 

Paul’s phone makes a noise and Paul pulls it out to read the text he got. 

“Frankie fell asleep in Emma’s bed”, he says. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

Paul just shakes his head, waving it off.

“Emma wrote it’s fine, she can stay there.”

“Where’s Emma gonna sleep?”, Henry asks. 

“With Charlotte I’d guess.”

“Are you sure that’s alright?” 

“Wait a second.” 

He types something, then waits, then nods. 

“Emma wrote: ‘It’s fine, tell Henry to calm the fuck down’.” He chuckles. 

Henry nods lightly. “Okay”, he mumbles. 

Paul looks up and frowns. 

“You’re so serious. Are you really just tired?” 

“Yeah I think I should head to bed.”

“Okay.” 

“Are you two gonna stay?”

“Yes”, Paul says. Bill shakes his head. 

Paul frowns. “Bill?”, he asks. 

“Sorry Paul, I really want to go to sleep.” 

“Okay. Is it alright if I stay for a while?”

“Just don’t be loud when you come in, okay?”

Paul nods. 

“Okay. See you.” 

“See you”, Bill says. Henry nods. 

Paul goes back into the crowd and Bill and Henry stand next to each other until Bill carefully puts his hand on Henrys shoulder to lead him outside. 

Henry doesn’t mean to, but he flinches. 

Bill pulls his hand back and frowns. 

“Henry, something is up.”

“Let’s just go to the dorms, okay?”, Henry says, leading the way.

Bill follows him, quiet at first. 

It’s cold outside and for the first time that evening, Henry is freezing in his pullover. He might catch a cold from this, since he’s all sweaty underneath. 

“Henry?”, Bill asks. 

“Huh?”, Henry makes. 

“You don’t have to tell me what happened, but I’m here for you if you want to, okay?”

Henry nods quickly and blinks away the tears that formed once again. 

They walk in silence until Henry decides to tell Bill. He’s not sure what made him decide that. Maybe it’s Bills calm nature. He trusts him. He’d trust him with his life and he has only known him for about half a year. 

And maybe Henry just has to let it out somehow. 

“Remember Mason?”, he asks. 

Bill nods. “The stalker.” 

Henry shrugs lightly. “I met him earlier.” 

Henry throws a quick glance at Bill and sees him stare at him, his expression full of concern. 

“He kissed me”, Henry says. 

Bill hesitates. “Just like that?” 

Henry nods. 

“He asked me to come to his room. I told him ‘No’. Then he got angry.” 

“Did he go further?” 

Henry quickly shakes his head. 

“I bit down on his tongue, then Ted came and kind of saved me. I don’t know if he.. wanted to go further.“ 

“Ted?”

“Yeah. He does that sometimes. You know, appearing out of nowhere and telling whoever is harassing me to fuck off. And it works somehow.”

“What do you mean sometimes? How often did that happen?”

“Twice.”

“Both times Mason?”

“No, the first time was Sam. He didn’t kiss me though.” 

“Oh god, are you alright?” 

Henry shrugs. “I don’t know.”

They kind of stop in the corridor to the boys dorms, because that’s where they have to split. 

“Do you want to talk? Do you want me to come with you?”, Bill asks. 

Henry thinks about it, but he really doesn’t. He loves Bill, but right now he just wants to be alone. Somehow he’s glad that Frankie is staying at Emma’s and Charlottes. Because Ted is probably still at the party and Henry is aching to be alone right now. 

“No, it’s fine”, he therefore says.

“Sure?”

“Yeah, I wanna be alone.”

“Okay, but you can always call me alight?”

Henry nods, before he decides to hug Bill. 

“Thanks”, he mumbles into the hug. 

Bill nods and pulls him closer for a moment. 

“Good Night”, he then says. 

“Night”, Henry whispers, before pulling away. 

He gifts Bill a smile, then he turns around and leaves. 

—

It’s horribly quiet in his and Teds room. Henry carefully closes the door and goes in, kicking the shoes off his feet, before neatly pushing them against the wall next to the door, where he always puts them. 

He fumbles himself out of his pullover and the sweaty T-Shirt and slips into his sleep shirt, before he goes for the bathroom, to brush his teeth a lot longer than usually. 

He knows that it‘s not gonna change what happened. Somehow he still hopes to be able to just brush away the memory of that feeling. 

But his hope is smashed to bits because of course the memory just stays in his mouth and in his brain like a plague. 

He gives up at some point and goes to bed instead of terrorising his teeth. 

Then he‘s alone and it‘s awfully quiet. 

He turns off the light and pulls his blanket up, burying his face in the pillow and pressing his eyes shut before the tears can make their way out again. 

He can‘t believe this happened to him. 


	10. Going Home For Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry and Frankie drive home for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: really really slight mention of sexual assault

Henry wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. For some reason his brain decided to make him live through the whole Mason thing again. Just this time, Ted didn‘t come. No one came. 

Henry‘s heart is racing when he sits up in bed and his throat is awfully dry, it almost hurts to breath. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

Henry flinches, before he realises that Ted is standing in the doorway to the bathroom. There’s light floating out of the bathroom and into their room. Ted didn’t turn on the main light. 

“No”, he mumbles, his voice all raspy. He blindly reaches for the bottle of water he’s keeping next to his bed at all times and chugs some of it. 

“‘Kay”, Ted whispers, turning the light in the bathroom off, so that everything is dark. Henry can see Teds silhouette walk over to his own bed and slipping into it. 

“How a clock is it?”, Henry asks, because it seems pretty late, but Ted just got back. 

“About three.”

“AM?”

“Duh.”

“Jesus Ted. Did you just get back?”

“Ugh don’t try to be my mom again.” 

“I’m not, I never did. That’s just really late.”

“Maybe for you. You should get back to sleep so you can get your full ten hours.”

Henry groans and rolls over, so he doesn’t have to look at Ted anymore.

“Fuck you”, he mumbles. 

“No thanks”, Ted answers. 

Then it’s quiet. 

Henry doesn’t wish Ted a good night because he doesn’t want his night to be good. Henry is still convinced that Ted was up to something when he was with Frankie earlier. Hell, he probably was with her when Henry was looking for her alone too.

Henry doesn’t trust Ted. 

Yes, maybe he saved him, but Henry doesn’t know his reasons. It might’ve just been coincidence that he walked in and he couldn’t just turn around and leave. 

Henry still can’t stand him. 

— 

Ted is still sleeping when Henry gets up and packs his stuff. He is still sleeping when Henry leaves the room to go to Emma and Charlotte to get Frankie too. 

Henry is not even up early, Ted literally just sleeps until 1 pm (at least, that’s when Henry left). 

Henry knocks on Emma’s and Charlottes door and a very sleepy Emma opens. 

“You wanna get Frankie?”, she asks. 

Henry nods. 

“She just woke up”, Charlotte says, appearing next to Emma. 

“Jesus Frankie, come on”, Henry groans. 

“Fuck you”, he hears Frankies voice. 

God, she’s hungover. 

— 

It takes 15 minutes for Frankie to be ready to leave. Henry carries his and her bag to the car and she just kind of leans against the hood when they arrive there. 

“I can’t believe how hungover you are”, Henry mumbles, throwing their bags in the trunk. 

“Well I’m sorry that I had fun.”

“Get in, I’m driving.”

She looks up. 

“No, you can’t drive for shit.” 

“Well you’re not driving.” 

“I hate it when you drive. You go so fucking slow and you can’t even park.”

“I’m respecting the tempo limits. You always go way too fast and you can’t park either so shut up.”

Frankie groans and gets in the car on the passengers side. 

Henry gets in too and carefully starts to back out of the parking lot. 

“Can I put on music?”, Frankie asks. 

“No, I hate your music taste.”

“Are you really going to pretend _your_ music taste is good?”

“Of course my music taste is good.”

“Ugh.”

— 

They’ve been driving for twenty minutes now and at some point Frankie did plug her phone in. 

She’s listening to Queen now, quietly humming along and Henry is more than okay with it.

Queen is probably the only band they can agree on. 

Frankie’s phone keeps buzzing and she quietly sighs now. 

“What’s up?”, Henry asks. 

“Ugh I don’t know. There’s that dude I almost screwed at that party yesterday and he keeps texting me.”

“You did what?”

“Don’t be so weird about it.” 

“I’m not weird about it.” 

“Yes you are. This is why I never told you when I lost my virginity.” 

“Good god.” 

“It was Seth from across the street by the way.”

“It was not!”

“Yes it was.”

“Oh my god!”

“Yeah.”

“When was it?”

“A year ago.” 

“Why are you telling me that now?”

“I guess I’m too hungover to care.” 

Henry turns off the music now and Frankie groans. 

“I told you not to be weird about it.”

“Was he respectful? Did he treat you right?”

“Yeah, I guess. I think he wanted to date me, actually. He kept buying me flowers afterwards.”

“And you didn’t want to date him?”

“I mean, he was cute but I just don’t think that it would have worked.”

“Why did you do it?”

“I wanted to know what it’s like.”

“Okay.”

“Can I turn the music back on?”

“No, I need some time to process that.”

She sighs and leans back in her seat now. 

“Seth? Frankie, come on! I used to hang out with him. We were friends!”

“It’s not like you guys have been talking recently.”

“Yeah he started avoiding me at some point.”

She sinks down in her seat and Henry takes a deep breath when the reason for that dawns on him. 

“Because you-“ “Because I slept with him”, Frankie confirms. 

“Good god.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I thought he hated me.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know that now.”

“He was really gentle, if that helps.”

“I don’t know.”

“Whatever.”

Henry stares at the road now and keeps driving, keeps trying to focus on the road. 

“Anyways, I actually wanted to tell you about that guy from yesterday”, she goes on. 

“Okay”, Henry says. 

“Well you know, I thought about being a hoe, because that can be fun, you know.”

“What?”, Henry whispers, while she keeps taking. 

“And I made out with that guy yesterday. No strings attached. But now he keeps texting me how much he misses my body and wishes he could explore more of it and I just don’t know if that’s worth it.”

“Please tell me it’s not Ted.” If that was Ted, Henry wouldn’t be able to look him in the eyes anymore. Also, Henry might have to murder him. 

“What the hell? No.” 

“Thank god.”

“I’m pretty sure his name was either Sam or Sean.”

“Sam?” 

Henry can feel his heart race up. 

“Yeah maybe.”

“Blonde hair? A little longer?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Wavy hair? And kinda buff.” 

“Yes I think you got it.” 

“Jesus Frankie.”

“What? Do you know him?”

“Yes, he’s a horrible person.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” 

“Please block him Franks.” 

“Why are you freaking out now?”

“He’s such an asshole.”

“You said the same thing about Ted and he was really nice.” 

“Ted’s not nice either. But Sam is worse, Sam is a bad person.”

“Calm down Hen, I can block him if you want me to.” 

“I mean, it’s you’re decision, he’s just been a dick to Charlotte and I just-“

“Okay, I’ll block him. I guess when Ted and you tell me to stay away, I probably should listen.”

“What?” 

“Well Ted told me basically the same thing. That Sam’s a bad guy.”

“Why would Ted tell you that?”

“Because he caught us leaving the storage room together.”

“Oh my god.” 

“There wasn’t lots of space, we wanted to go to Sam’s room. Ted was in the corridor and when he saw us, he was like: ‘Fuck off Sam’.”

“And then?”

“Sam was like: ‘No, fuck _you_.’ But then he left. And I was mad at first because it was my decision and I can look after myself and everything you know?”

“Yeah”, Henry mumbles.

“And Ted said: ‘Do what you want but you might wanna reconsider fucking that one.’ And first I thought he was like flirting with me or something but turns out he wasn’t. He was just trying to tell me that Sam’s a dick.” 

“He wasn’t flirting with you?” 

“No, we just kinda started talking about other stuff. He was really nice.” 

“Jesus Frankie. What were you thinking?” 

“I wasn’t thinking much, that’s for sure.” 

“You were just making out with Sam while I-..” Henry stops and bites down on his lip. 

He’s glad nothing bad happened to her but he’s really mad that she couldn’t just tell him or one of the others that she’s going to smooch Sam in some goddamn storage closet. 

Then none of the Mason-thing would have happened. 

But she didn’t know. She still doesn’t. And somehow Henry is too embarrassed to tell her. He’d also love to just forget about it and the less people know about it, the better he can pretend that it never happened. 

“While you?”, Frankie asks. 

“I was looking for you”, Henry mumbles, because that’s not a lie. “I was worried.”

“Sorry.”

“You were really drunk. I mean you weren’t exactly capable of consenting to anything.”

“I’m okay, I promise.”

“Are you sure?” 

She nods and he can see her watch him when he glances over. 

“I love you Hen”, she mumbles, “Thank you for looking out for me, even if you don’t have to.”

“Of course I’ll look out for you.”

“I just want you to know that I’m thankful for that, even if I’m mean about it sometimes.” 

Henry hesitates, before he nods lightly. “I love you too”, he answers quietly. 

Frankie smiles. 

“I know.” 

— 

The house vanished behind Christmas lights. Henry can barely park straight, because he’s nearly going blind from it. He can’t park straight anyway, but it feels good to blame it on something else besides his bad driving skills for once. 

Frankie jumps out of the car and runs towards their dad, who came out of the house while Henry was trying to park. 

Henry gets out too but goes for the trunk first, to get their bags. 

A dog jumps towards him and Henry kneels down on pure autopilot to pet it. 

“Oh, hi Henry.”

Henry looks up to see Seth from across the street. 

“Hey”, he fumbles out, letting go of the dog and quickly getting up. 

“Are you home for christmas?”, Seth asks. 

Henry nods. “You too?”

“Yeah.” 

“You have a dog now?”

“My dads do. Maybe because they missed me.” He chuckles lightly and so does Henry. 

“Hey Seth”, Frankie says, appearing next to Henry now. 

Henry sees Seth look at her and smile. “Hi Frankie”, he breathes. 

“Henry!” 

Henry turns around now to see his dad stand there, his arms opened, waiting for a hug. 

Henry lets Frankie and Seth stand there and hurries to his dad instead, to hug him. 

“I can’t believe you talked to Seth first before you came to me”, his dad says, playfully hurt. 

“He has a dog, dad.”

“Touché.”

“Maybe get a dog and I’ll visit more often.”

“Your mom and I think about getting a cat actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, remember your mom’s friend Sally? Her cat got pregnant on accident and we think about taking one of her kittens.” 

Henry gets excited now, because kittens are probably the greatest thing ever. 

“Oh my god!”

“Yes, right?”

Henry nods. 

“Go get inside and greet your mom, I’ll get your bags.”

“Okay.” 

Henry goes to the door.

“Hello Seth!”, he hears his dad. 

“Hi, Mr. Hidgens.” Seth sounds really nervous. Henry almost feels bad for him, especially now that he knows why. 

— 

“Mom!” 

His mom is in the kitchen and she turns around when he comes in. 

Her face lights up. 

“Henry!”

He hugs her and she holds onto him for a little too long but he doesn’t mind. 

“What are you doing?”, he asks, trying to catch a glance of whatever is in the oven. 

“Christmas cookies!”

Henry leans down to gaze at the cookies baking there. 

“How are you?”, his mom asks.

“Great”, Henry answers, because that’s the default answer. He doesn’t even think about it, it’s more of a reflex by now. But it’s an okay answer. He’s not great, but he doesn’t want her to worry. 

“I heard about you and dad considering to get a kitten?”, Henry changes the topic.

She smiles brightly.

“Yes! They’re not born yet and it’ll take some time until they’re ready to leave their mom but I hope it’ll work.”

“That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“Mom!” 

It’s Frankie, running into the kitchen now. She throws herself into their mom’s arms and they hug for an eternity. 

Henry can hear his dad close the front door and set their bags on the floor in the corridor. Then he appears in the kitchen as well. He leans against the counter next to Henry. 

“That Seth kid is kind of weird, isn’t he?”, he asks. 

“What do you mean?”

“He’s acting like he’s afraid of me. Maybe college changed him.” 

Henry can only nod. “Yeah, probably”, he lies. 


	11. Late Night Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frankie visits Henry in the evening and they talk

It’s late in the evening and Henry is already laying in his bed. It’s Christmas Eve and he’s trying to sleep after they all stayed up for way too long. 

Someone knocks on his door and then opens it. He turns around to see Frankie slip inside. 

“Are you awake?”, she asks. 

“Yeah.”

She closes the door and comes over to him now.

“Move”, she whispers and he makes place for her. She slips under the blanket next to him, placing her ice cold feet on his leg and making him flinch and pull it away.

She giggles. 

“What do you want? Besides from warming your feet?”, Henry whispers, fully awake now. 

“I wanna spend time with my brother”, she says. 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles into the pillow. 

It’s quiet for about five minutes and Henry is almost about to drift to sleep. He’s fighting against it, because he feels like there’s more she wants to tell him. 

And there is. 

“I think I’m not straight”, she just announces after a while. 

“What?”

“I’m not gay either. I just.. I mean I’m into guys. Guys are hot. But so is everybody else.” 

“Are you outing yourself right now?”

“I guess. I wanted to tell you first, because you told me first too.”

“That’s really sweet actually.”

“I don’t know what label I’m gonna go with yet.” 

“That’s okay, take your time.”

She nods lightly. 

“Okay.” 

He pushes himself up on his elbows now, so he can look at her. 

She looks kind of nervous. She takes a quick glance at him, chewing on her lip. 

“Okay”, she mumbles again, taking a deep breath. 

“I love you”, Henry says, because that’s what she said to him, when he told her he thinks he might be gay and it really calmed him down back then. 

He really said it like that. ‘I think I might be gay.’ He didn’t think and it was never a maybe, he fucking knew. He just didn’t want it to sound too bold for some reason. 

She smiles now. “I know”, she mumbles. 

“I mean.. I support you”, Henry adds. 

“Thank you.”

Then it’s quiet for a bit, until Henry asks the next question. 

“Did you only notice recently?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe. I always kinda thought girls are hot and shit but I thought that was just.. I thought it didn’t mean anything. You think girls are hot even though you’re gay right?”

“No.”

“Oh.. okay. Well but then I went to college and there was that girl. And.. shit. You get me?”

Henry nods lightly. 

“I mean she’s straight. She has a boyfriend and everything, it’s not like I’d have a chance but if she asked, she could totally get it.” 

“Okay.”

“I fell in love with a girl”, she whispers, singing it lightly, “I fell in love once and almost completely..”

Henry chuckles . “Stop.”

“Anyways it’s not just her. I keep finding myself attracted to people I don’t think I should be attracted to if I was straight.” 

“For example?”

“Don’t hate me for this okay?”

“You’re scaring me.” 

“I don’t know if you’ll think it’s weird.” 

“Is it Ted?” Because that’s the worst he can think of. 

“Oh my god, no. Also Ted is a guy, Henry. If it was him, that wouldn’t proof that I’m not straight.”

“Who is it then?” 

“Your friend. You know, Charlotte. God, she’s pretty.” 

Henry smiles, relieved now. 

“Yeah, Charlotte is amazing.”

“Do you think she’s into girls?”

“I thought she’s straight.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“I mean I don’t know for sure.” 

“Yeah, me neither. It’d be too good to be true anyway. You don’t think it’s weird that I have a crush on one of your friends?” 

“No, I’m just glad you’re not into Ted.” 

“He’s really not my type.” 

“Okay.”

“I mean, not that anything is wrong with liking him. He’s just not my type.”

She looks at Henry like she’s trying to tell him something. 

He frowns. “What?”

“All I’m saying is, I’m sure he’s _someone’s_ type.”

“Whose?”

“Yours!”

“Good god, no he _isn’t_.” 

“Oh come on.” 

“He’s an asshole .” 

“And?” 

“I‘m not into that.” 

“I’m not forcing you to admit your crush on him, I’m simply saying that you like to talk about him a lot.” 

Henrys face slowly burns up. Good god just don’t blush now. 

“I don’t.” 

“Yes you do. He’s your favourite topic. You keep mentioning him.”

“He just drives me insane, because he’s.. ugh.” 

“He drives you insane?” 

“Stop it.” 

“Whatever.” 

“Maybe he would be my type if he wasn’t such an asshole, okay?” 

“You’re into it.”

“Oh my god I’m not.”

“Also you guys are roommates.”

“What does that have to do with it?”

“Roommate Au. Enemies to lovers slow burn, 500k.” 

“Frankie this is not a fucking fanfiction.” 

“I know.” 

“Also it wouldn’t be 500k. If I liked him I would simply tell him as soon as possible. RIP to all your fanfiction protagonists but I’m different.” 

She frowns. 

“You wouldn’t dare tell him you coward.”

“I would!”

“Nuh-uh.“

“Frankie I swear to god.” 

“Oh my god they were roommatesss”, she whispers. 

“I’m leaving this family.”

“Sorry! Please don’t.” 

Henry just rolls on his back and stares at the ceiling now. 

“Henry?”

“Huh?”

“Ted is actually really nice. He was really nice to me and he didn’t try anything. Please don’t be mad at him for something he didn’t do.” 

“What are you talking about?”

“I heard you tell him to stay away from me.” 

“Oh.” 

“And it’s cute that you’re pretending to be the protective older brother, but all Ted did was get me away from Sam and then he listened to me while I gushed about my sexual crisis.” 

“You told him?”

“Yes. Sorry, I just told you you’re the first. I was really drunk and Ted told me about him being bi so I kinda just let it out.” 

“Ted is what?” 

She stays silent. 

Henry rolls over to look at her. She just kind of stares at the ceiling, pressing her lips together. 

“He‘s bi?”, Henry asks. 

“No! Forget I said that! I thought you knew.”

“I didn‘t.”

“I shouldn’t have told you. Outing someone else is really shitty. Can you just forget about it?”

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Okay, promise.”

They stay silent for a while after that and Henry kind of tries to process what he just heard. He totally wrote Ted off as one of those straight guys. Maybe he shouldn’t have. He totally shouldn’t have. 

“Is Ted really alone over Christmas?”, Frankie finally asks. 

“Yeah, apparently his mom is in London with her parents.” 

“What about his dad?” 

“I don’t know. I mean I don’t even know if he has one. I mean of course he has one, biologically. But while growing up I mean. He never mentioned it.” 

“Okay.” 

“We don’t really talk about our families. We don’t really talk in general.” 

“It’s kinda sad though, isn’t it? Being alone over Christmas?” 

“He said he doesn’t mind.” 

“And you believe him?” 

“Of course not. It’s not like he’s a good liar.” 

“You should bring him some of mom’s cookies.” 

“I don’t know if he’d like that.” 

“Of course he would, they’re mom’s cookies.” 

“You’re right. I should probably apologise too.” 

“Yeah you were kinda mean.” 

“I thought he was trying to get into your pants!” 

“Yeah, you assumed.” 

“Ugh, you’re right. He’s kind of a womaniser though. ..Wait is there a neutral term for that? Since he’s bi?” 

“First of all I don’t know. Second of all, you promised you’d forget that.” 

“Yeah I totally forgot.” 

“Come on Henry. I already feel bad enough for telling you.” 

“I won’t mention that I know it to him, okay? I won’t tell anyone.” 

“You better not.” 

“I promise! I’m not an asshole.” 

“Okay.” 

Silence washes over the room and Henry almost thinks that the conversation is over. 

Apparently it’s not. 

“What if I dyed my hair blue?”, Frankie asks.

“Do you wanna do that because you’re in a crisis about your sexuality?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Remember when I buzzcut my hair off?”

“Yeah it looked horrible.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“You had so much forehead.”

“Sssh. What I’m trying to ask is, are you sure?” 

“Yes, I think so. Would it look good?”

“You know it would. You can pull it off.”

“It would look dope right?” 

“Yeah. Mom and dad would hate it though.” 

“I guess. But I’m 18. Wanna help me?”

“Okay. I’ll dye you.”

“Thanks.”

Her hair has always been lighter than Henrys, so it’ll probably work 

“Should I also cut it?” 

“How short?” 

“Like shoulder length.”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“If you let me cut it.” 

“Have you ever cut hair?”

“No, but it looks like fun.”

“Yeah whatever. I’d let you cut it.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yes, let’s do it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is all Frankie and Henry again but next one’s gonna be Tedgens so look out for that


	12. Slightly Belated Christmas And Also New Years Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry decides to try and bring Ted some Christmas from home.

After everything Frankie told him, Henry feels the need to apologise to Ted. 

So he asked his mom for some of the thousand cookies she made and also for a branch of their Christmas tree, before Frankie drives him back to his college, on New Years Eve. 

It was actually planned that they stay home over New Years Eve, but Frankie’s college friends are throwing a party she wants to attend and Henrys parents have been invited to a party as well and Henry doesn’t mind being alone. 

“Bye!”, Henry says, when she stops at the sidewalk to let him out. 

He leans over to hug her. 

“Call me if you want to”, he says. 

“You too.” 

He gets out of the car and takes his bag out of the trunk before lightly slapping the roof of the car. 

He watches Frankie drive off, then he hurries inside where it’s warm, carrying a Christmas tree branch and his bag. 

Ted is sitting on his bed, his laptop in his lap when Henry opens the door to their room. 

“Hi”, he mumbles, not looking up. 

He probably thinks that Henry is still mad at him. Maybe he’s mad at Henry as well. Maybe he’s mad at his mom for being in London over Christmas. 

“Hey Ted”, Henry says, placing his bag on the floor, as well as the branch. 

Ted does a double glance at the branch before he asks: “Why are you bringing a whole-ass tree?“

“To make it Christmas-y.” 

Ted frowns, looking at Henry with a questioning look on his face. 

“I’m celebrating with you”, Henry explains. 

“I told you I don’t care about Christmas.” 

“And I didn’t believe you. You’re not a good liar.” 

Ted shrugs lightly. Henry isn’t entirely sure but he believes to see Teds expression go sad. 

“So you brought a tree?”, Ted asks. 

“A part of it. We can pretend it’s one.”

Ted hesitates before he closes his laptop and pushes it off his lap. 

“Okay?”

Ted seems to not completely hate the idea, so Henry pulls some books from his shelf and sits down on his floor, placing the books around the branch, so it’ll stand up. 

Ted watches him now, while Henry rifles through his bag to get the fairy lights he stole from Frankies room. 

He puts the chain around the branch and turns it on. 

“See”, he says, “It’s almost a tree.” 

Ted just stares at him for a moment, his mouth slightly opened, maybe in disbelief or maybe he’s mad. 

“Is that okay?”, Henry carefully asks, “or do you hate Christmas for real?” 

A soft smile spreads over Teds lips. He shakes his head. 

“I just can’t believe you’d do that for me.” 

“Why not?” 

“We’re not exactly friends.” 

“I don’t really care what we are. You don’t deserve to be alone on Christmas.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Maybe.” 

Ted slips off his bed and sits down on the floor, in front of Henry on the other side of the tree. 

“Why?”, he just asks. 

“Why not?”, Henry asks back. 

Ted just continues to watch him, while opening, then closing his mouth over and over. Maybe he’s thinking about what to say. 

“Aren’t you still mad at me?”, he finally asks. 

“No, I wanted to apologise actually.” 

“Apologise?” 

“Yes, I’ve been horrible to you.” 

“Is this whole thing an apology?” 

“Maybe a little. But I’m also doing this because I’m convinced that you shouldn’t be alone on Christmas.” 

“This is not _Love, Actually_.” 

“I know. If it was, you’d have someone else be here right now. I’m sure you’re not particularly keen on my company.“ 

“I don’t mind your company.” 

“But do you enjoy it?” 

“I enjoy if more that other people’s.” 

“That’s nice.” 

Ted shrugs lightly. 

“All I’m saying is I can kinda stand you. Don’t get all cocky about it.” 

“I’m still trying to apologise. Are you going to let me?”

“About you threatening me because of Frankie?”

“Yes.”

“Why the change of mind?” 

“She told me you didn’t do anything.”

“I told you that too.” 

“I know and I didn’t believe you because I was mad and tired.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“Anyways, I’m sorry. I had the lowest opinion of you.” 

“Yeah you did.” He sighs, fumbling with the tree branch now. “Henry dear, she was so drunk, she could barely walk. Who do you think I am?”

“You saved her.”

“I just wanted to make sure that Sam doesn’t take advantage of it. Everybody would have done that.” 

“No, not everybody would have done that.” 

Ted shrugs. 

“I get that you were angry, you love her, she‘s your sister. Of course you‘re protective.” 

“I guess. It still wasn’t fair.” 

“It‘s okay, I‘m kinda a whore sometimes.” 

Henry chuckles. “You‘re not.” 

“It’s true. I made out with more than one person that night.” 

Henry can’t help but notice how Ted said ‘person’. Neutral. Then he reminds himself that he doesn’t officially know. Ted might not want him to know he’s bi yet so he’s not gonna know. 

“Well you’re completely free to do that”, Henry says. 

Ted chuckles now, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs. 

“Do you forgive me?”, Henry asks. 

“Of course.” 

“Good, because I brought cookies.” 

Ted smiles. 

“Wow Hidgens, you’re really trying to bring Christmas in here, are you?” 

Henry pulls out the box of cookies his mom gave him and opens it. 

“I told you I am. And these are probably the best cookies to exist, so you’re welcome.” He holds the box towards Ted. “Try one.” 

“Okay.” 

Ted takes one and laughs when he sees Henry watching him. 

“Creep”, he says, before he takes a bite. 

“Is it good?”, Henry immediately asks.

Ted nods. 

“Fuck, yes.” 

“I know right?”

“Who made those?”

“My mom.” 

“Your mom is god herself.” 

“I know.” 

Ted laughs and Henry can’t help but chuckle along because he has never really seen Ted laugh so genuinely. 

Henry gradually remembers Frankie asking him about Teds parents. He remembers how he said that Ted and he never really talk. Maybe they should talk more. Maybe then they’d get along. 

“You’re mom isn’t in London every year, is she?”, he asks, carefully as not to go too far. 

“She’s been for the past two. Three years with this one. Basically since the divorce.” 

“Oh?”

“It’s okay.” 

“What about your dad? Is it okay to ask that?”

“Yeah, I guess. He has a new family, that’s all. It’s not that spectacular, really.” 

“What did you do the last two years on Christmas?”

“I was with my girlfriends family.” 

“And she’s..?”

“..not my girlfriend anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ted shrugs lightly. 

“She broke up before college, because she didn‘t wanna do long distance. It’s not like this is on you.” 

“How would this be on me?” 

Ted chuckles. “I don’t know. You’re a handsome guy, she got jealous pretty easily.” 

Henry doesn’t even know what to say to that. “But.. I..?”

“I’m not straight darling.” 

Oh well there it goes apparently.

Henry blushes. “You’re not into me though, are you?”

“Just because I’m bi, doesn’t mean I’m into you.” 

“Okay.” 

“What? Are you disappointed?” 

Henry quickly shakes his head. 

“Just because I’m gay, doesn’t mean I’m into you”, he hits back, only realising he outed himself after he said it. 

Ted laughs. 

Henry smiles, biting his lip now. Somehow he’s glad that Ted doesn’t even seem surprised. 

“This is nice too. Her dad was really weird every year anyways”, Ted says after some time. 

“This is nice too?” 

“You brought cookies. I can’t argue with that.” 

“The best cookies too.” 

“Yeah, shit, your mom is great.” 

“I know.”

— 

Both of them are just laying on the floor now, staring at the ceiling, the tree between them. It got dark outside and the only thing lightening the room are the fairy lights. 

They ate too many cookies and Henry is feeling kind of nauseous from it now. 

“Hey Henry?”, Ted whispers.

“Yeah?” 

“Sorry for what I said in the corridor. I shouldn’t have made a joke, it was stupid.” 

“You didn’t know what happened. I mean.. you still don’t.” 

“Still.” 

“It’s okay. Sorry I just ran off and didn’t explain or something.”

“Nah, you didn’t owe me shit.” 

“Okay.” 

“I’m sorry I always step in. Is that weird? I don’t wanna seem weird or overprotective. I just don’t want you or anyone to get hurt so I’d rather help than do nothing. But if you think that it’s weird, I can stop.”

“Don’t apologise for that, I think you might have saved my life”, Henry mumbles, only realising what he admitted shortly after. 

Ted sits up next to him and turns to him, so he can look at him. 

His eyes scan Henry for a moment, he almost looks worried. 

“What do you mean?”

“Mason.. you know? When you stepped in, I don’t know where or how I’d be if you didn’t.” 

“Mason is the guy from the party?” 

Henry nods. 

Ted is quiet for a bit and Henry sits up too, because it feels weird to lay on the floor while he is sitting. 

“But he wasn’t gonna kill you, was he?”, Ted asks, his eyes flickering over Henry. Maybe he’s looking for a sign that he’s hurt. He chuckles nervously, rubbing his hands on his jeans. “You just seemed uncomfortable talking to him so..”

“I wasn’t really talking to him”, Henry admits. 

“You weren’t?” 

Henry is not sure why he’s telling Ted this. 

Ted is not his friend. 

He’s not sure if he should trust him (but he does trust him). 

Ted gives him some kind of weird sense of security and he doesn’t know why, but now they’re in the middle of the conversation anyway. 

And somehow it’s easier to tell someone he doesn’t know that well. Telling Frankie or his parents what happened would be harder, he thinks. At least he couldn’t do it when he saw them over Christmas. 

And telling Ted isn’t exactly easy but it feels easier. 

“I was uncomfortable, yes, but because.. it was because..”, Henry stops for a few seconds, unsure about how to phrase it, “He kissed me. I didn’t want him too. I told him to leave me alone and he didn’t.” 

“He kissed you?” 

Henry shrugs, nodding lightly. “You think it’s ridiculous, don’t you? It was just a kiss, don’t be so dramatic about it-“

“I don’t think it’s ridiculous. I just regret that I didn’t actually punch him.”

Henry shakes his head and lets out a mix between a chuckle and a sob. 

His heart shrunk together, it hurts again. There’s that feeling again, flipping his guts and pushing the tears up into his eyes. 

“That guy kissed you without your consent. That’s sexual assault Henry!” 

“I know what it is.” 

He blinks rapidly. He’s not going to cry now. 

“If he ever gets close to you again, I will end him.“

“You don’t have to do anything. You did enough. Thank you.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“I guess. I’m gonna be.” 

“That’s why you looked so scared. Shit.” 

“I mean, I was.” 

“I’m so sorry that happened to you.” 

“Just.. thank you for not turning away.” 

“Are you really okay?” 

Henry shrugs lightly and shakes his head. “No. But I’ll get over it.” 

“Do you.. I don’t know, want a hug?”

Henry chuckles unhappily. “A hug would be great”, he admits. 

Ted hurries past the tree to move next to him. 

He opens his arms and Henry lets himself fall inside, leaning against Teds warm chest now. 

A tear slips out of his eyes, then another one. 

“Sorry”, he whispers when it soaks through Teds sweater. 

“Nah, keep going. It’s okay.” 

They sit in silence after that. 

Henry never thought he’d ever think that, but it feels really good to talk to Ted. To hug him too. He’s a good hugger. Is that a thing? It must be. 

Perhaps it’s not because he’s Ted, it might just be the fact that he was there as well and he more or less saved him. He saw it, so maybe he gets it when Henry talks about it. 

Henry feels like he gets it. 

Ted starts caressing Henrys back and it‘s really calming. Henry closes his eyes for a moment. 

Is this awkward? It feels awkward. He‘s just crying in Teds arms. He never wanted to cry in front of Ted but at this point he did it twice already. 

Why is Ted suddenly so nice about it? 

“Do you always just.. notice when people are uncomfortable talking to someone?”, Henry asks quietly. 

“I’m an observant person. Also it wasn’t hard to notice when you stared at me like that.” 

“And.. and then you always go and help?”

“Well I don’t want anyone to get harassed. People think I look intimidating, so why not use it to scare rapists off?” 

“You’re a good person, you know.”

Ted lightly shakes his head. “I don’t know.” 

“Yes you are. Accept it.” 

“No I won’t.” 

“Ugh.” 

“I just.. people weren’t particularly nice to me in Highschool and I wish someone would have been there for me back then. I’m trying to be better than they were.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Ted shrugs. “Highschool is over.” 

“And you just forgot about it?” 

“Of course not. But I’m dealing with it. I’m alright.” 

“Is that why you build walls up?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You seem to keep people away from you.” 

“Because people are shit.” 

“I’m people.” 

“You’re slightly less shit.” 

Henry chuckles and sits up now. Ted reaches for his cheeks and dries them with the sleeves of his shirt. 

“You okay?” 

Henry nods. “I feel a little less bad.” 

“Okay.” 

Some time passes and Henry slowly realises that it‘s about nine pm and also New Years Eve. 

Why is Ted spending time with him when he could be anywhere? 

“What are you doing tonight?” 

“For New Years Eve?”

“Yes.” 

“I don’t know.”

“Aren’t you going on a party or something? Getting drunk, you know?“

“I don’t really feel like getting drunk.” 

“Do you wanna stay here?” 

“With you?” 

“If I don’t fall asleep.” 

Ted chuckles. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay cool.” 

— 

Henry falls asleep. He only notices when he wakes up. He’s still sitting on the floor next to Ted. They are leaning against Henrys bed and Henry finds his head resting on Teds shoulder, all to his embarrassment. 

“Sorry“, he mumbles, sitting up. He starts massaging his neck when the pain shoots into it. 

“You’re good”, Ted mumbles. 

Henry looks at him and realises that a book is sitting in his lab. He’s reading. 

“You’re reading?”

“You fell asleep on my shoulder, it’s not like I could get up. This was the thing laying the closest.” 

“I’m really sorry.” 

“I told you, it’s fine. Also I’m kinda hooked by this.” 

He holds the book up and Henry realises that it’s one of his. 

“Oh.” 

“Is it okay?” 

“What?”

“That I read it.” 

“Of course it is.” 

“Okay. Hey.” 

“Hey?” 

“Happy new year.” 

“Is it?” 

“Yes. It’s been for about an hour.”

“Oh come on, I sleep through it every time.” 

Ted laughs. “Cute.” 

“What?” 

“It’s cute. Sleepy you.” 

“It’s not. I’m not cute.” 

“Okay, whatever.” 

“I think I should go to sleep for real.” 

“Yeah me too.” 

“Thank you for letting me sleep on your shoulder.” 

“You’re welcome dear.” 

“Happy new year to you too by the way.” 

Ted smiles. “Happy new year Henry.” 


	13. New Years Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma tells Henry about her New Years Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of sexual assault

“Henry! Hi.” Emma sinks into her chair, looking way too stressed somehow. 

“Are you okay?”, Henry asks. 

“Yes! Nothing weird happened.” She laughs nervously. 

“How was New Years Eve?”, he asks, carefully. 

“Good. Like every year, you know. You party and you.. kiss strangers around midnight.” She seems to wince at that, so he decides to keep asking. Something clearly happened and she seems to want him to ask. Either that or she really is a horrible liar. 

“Did you kiss a stranger?” 

“Of course he was a stranger. It’s not like I’d randomly kiss someone I know, right?” 

“Okay what did you do?” 

“Nothing. Everything is normal.” 

“Emma..” 

“I was drunk okay? And so was he.”

“Oh my god.” 

“It’s _fine_.” 

“Who is _he_, Em?” 

“Paul.”

“Paul? Oh my god.”

“Listen..”, she starts, slowly now, “we were on that New Years party and we were _really_ drunk, okay?” 

“Oh god.”

“Don’t say that!”

“But you just kissed?”

“No, worse.” 

“Oh my god”, Henry whispers, “Did you two sleep together?” 

Her eyes widen and she quickly shakes her head. “Shit Henry, no!” 

“Well what happened?”

“We kissed around midnight, because we stood next to each other and you kiss the person next to you at midnight, right?”

“Okay.” 

Henry remembers how he was with Ted on New Years Eve. 

They were next to each other as well. 

What if Henry hadn‘t fallen asleep? Would they have kissed? Is that really what people do at midnight? 

Henry saw it in movies, he just didn’t think that was a thing people actually do. 

But he wouldn’t have kissed Ted, right? Ted wouldn’t have kissed him either. He’s pretty sure about that. 

“We just kissed. Platonically. And then we laughed it off, it was fine”, Emma goes on. 

“Okay, that’s good though? It’s fine?” 

“I’m not done. I told him I like him and we made out.”

“Did he say he likes you too?”

“He kinda just kissed me. But dude, we _full on made out_, I think I even took my shirt off and then someone barged in and we kinda left it at that and went back to the party.” 

“That was two days ago. Did you talk about it?” 

“No, he either doesn’t remember or he pretends it never happened.” 

“Oh god, okay.” 

She groans and lets her head sink into her hands now. “This is bad”, she whispers, “this is really bad.” 

“Wait, Emma do you like him?”

“No?” 

“Em..” 

“I can’t just fucking tell my best friend that I’m in love with him!” 

“In _love_?”, Henry whisper-shouts back, surprised that he never once noticed. 

Well to be fair, he did notice, but then Emma told him they’re just friends so he accepted that and forgot about it. 

“Ssh”, she makes, her whole face is glowing red now. 

“You mean you’re _in love_-in love? Like you want to date him?”

“I want to date him so hard, you don’t even know.” 

“Wow, okay.” 

“I thought you knew.” 

“How was I supposed to know?”

“I don’t know. Char and Bill know it too and I never actually told them.”

“I mean I kinda asked you and you said no, so..” 

“Yeah, I guess I did.” 

“You should probably tell him.” 

“Did you loose your mind?” 

“What else are you gonna do? Pine after him forever? Until he finds someone else and he dates that person and they get married and have kids?”

“Yeah that was my plan.” 

“Good god Em.” 

“I can’t tell him, man”, she whispers, letting her fingers run through her hair, clearly upset now. 

Henry notices how she’s not wearing one of Paul’s sweaters that day. Maybe a coincidence, maybe not. 

“He kissed you, he might feel the same.” 

“We were fucking drunk, god knows if he meant it.” 

“Do you really think he was that drunk?” 

“Don’t give me hope.” 

“It’s just.. I see how he looks at you. Remember how I thought you guys were dating when I first met you?” 

“He probably looks like that at everyone.” 

“No he doesn’t.” 

“I can’t tell him. I’d rather fucking die.” 

“Don’t say that.”

“Paul is the most perfect human I know. Imagine getting rejected from him.”

Henry stays quiet while he thinks about it. 

“Do you want me to try and find out if he likes you too?” 

She looks up. 

“I mean.. if you don’t let it slip that I’m in love with him.” 

“I wouldn’t.” 

“Can you just.. I don’t know, maybe mention New Years? Ask him about it like you just asked me.” 

“Okay.” 

“Wait, you’re not spying for him right now, are you?” 

“No, of course not.” 

“If you’re asking me all that stuff because he told you to, because he’s in love with me, please tell him I like him back.”

“Emma, I haven’t talked to Paul since the party before I left for Christmas.” 

“Okay.” 

“But I’ll try and find out, okay?” 

“Thank you.” 

Henry notices Mason coming into the room now and he quickly lowers his gaze. 

His heartbeat starts to gather speed, when he can feel Masons eyes on him. 

“Ugh, the creep’s back”, Emma mumbles. 

“Hm”, Henry makes. 

He looks up for a second and that was a mistake. Mason smiles at him and winks. 

Henry has never been more uncomfortable. He can feel his hands start to shake when the panic settles in his chest, manifesting around his heart and lungs like a rock, pulling on it and making it hard to breath. 

“Dude?”, Emma whispers. 

Henry looks at her and sees her concerned gaze. He flinches lightly when he can feel her hand grab his. 

“You’re shaking”, she says. 

“No? No”, he whispers. 

“Oh god”, she breathes, “Did he do something to you?” 

“No!” 

“Henry you can tell me.”

“I know.” 

“I can beat him up for you.” 

“No, I.. you don’t have to.” 

He was kinda hoping that she’d just let it be but she keeps staring at him, concern in her eyes. 

“Henry?”, she asks again. 

“He forced a kiss on me, okay?” 

She’s quiet after that. She’s just staring at him and in a constant process of opening and closing her mouth. 

“What?”, she finally asks, all soft and quiet. Her voice sounds almost a little teary. 

“You heard me”, Henry mumbles, still staring at his table. 

“I just wish I didn’t hear it right.” 

“It’s okay. Don’t freak out, okay?” 

“I’m already freaking out. What a fucking.. I’m gonna throw hands. I’m gonna fucking murder him.”

She gets up. 

“Emma-“ 

“No seriously.” 

“Emma I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

“The only thing getting hurt is his goddamn dick. I’m gonna rip it off.” 

Then she’s already gone. Henry buries his face in his hands, unable to watch. But also unable to look away, he nervously keeps glancing at Emma, storming towards Mason. 

“What the fuck dude?”, she says, a little too loud. 

Mason looks up and that’s when her fist hits his face. He can’t even react, because right after that, she grabs a fistful of his hair and pushes his head on the table, pressing him down against the cold wood. 

That’s when Henry decides to get up und stop her. Not because he cares about Mason, but because he notices people started to watch the fight and one guy is already coming towards Emma. 

Henry rushes to her and grabs her under her arms to pull her away while she keeps cussing at Mason. 

“Henry let me murder him”, she hisses. 

“No”, he just says. She kind of pulls on Masons hair, before knocking his head back down on the table, not too strong but certainly in an attempt to hurt him once more before Henry pulls her away. 

Mason pushes himself up and turns around in his chair, anger in his eyes. 

Henry just kind of pushes Emma back on her chair and stops while Masons gaze sits on him. His heart is beating loudly in his throat and he almost flinches when Mason gets up. 

Then their professor enters the room and Mason sits back down, as well as all the other students. 

Emma pulls on Henrys shirt and he slowly lets himself sink back into his chair. 

“What the fuck?”, he whispers. 

“Sorry”, Emma mumbles, sounding guilty. 

“Just don’t do that again, okay?” 

“Okay. I’m really sorry. He deserved it though.” 

“Of course he did. I just.. didn’t expect you to.. I don’t know. I don’t want him to be mad at you too, okay? He can be really strong.” 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Thank you for standing up for me.” 

“If you want me to kill him for you, I will.” 

“You’re too young for prison.” 

“Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t get away with it.” 

“That sounded a little too confident.” 

“I can make it look like an accident.” 

Henry chuckles now. “That is not creepy at all.” 

She smiles. “Just saying. I’d do it.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Maybe I would.” 

“Please don’t then.” 

“Okay, whatever.” 

— 

Henrys and Emmas ways part after biology, so he walks back to the dorms alone. And that’s perfectly fine until he finds himself actually alone. He left the more populated area of the campus and now there’s no people around anymore. 

And that’s when his heart starts to race and he breaks into sweat again. 

He immediately picks up his pace, genuinely hoping that he’s gonna stay alone or if someone comes, it’s not gonna be Mason. Because god knows what he’d do now, after everything that happened earlier. 

He must be really angry. 

“Hey Henry!” 

Henry flinches and turns around to see Ted jog towards him. 

Oh thank god. 

He relaxes, as Ted slowly reaches him. 

“Hi”, Henry says, smiling now. 

“Why are you all alone?” Ted looks concerned.

“I don’t know. I didn’t plan that.” 

“Are you going to the dorms?”

“Yes.” 

“Do you want me to walk you?”

Henry nods, heaving a sigh of relief. 

“Please.” 

“Okay.” 

They start to walk again and it’s really quiet at first. 

But like, a comfortable quietness. Henry doesn’t feel like he has to force a conversation, it’s fine.

“How are you doing?”, Ted asks after a while. 

“Do you actually care?” 

“I’m trying to be nice darling.” 

“But do you care?” 

“You don’t have to answer.” 

“Well I saw Mason.” 

Ted looks up, scanning him for a moment. 

“Are you okay? Where?” 

“In biology. He’s in my biology class.” 

“Of course he is.” Ted nearly sounds pissed now. 

“It just.. it freaked me out, I mean, I’m still shaking.” 

Henry holds up his hand to show Ted and Ted carefully reaches for it and holds it in both of his hands, maybe to calm him down. 

“Emma kind of tried to beat him up.” 

“Tried?” 

“I pulled her away after she slammed his head on the table.” 

“Oh come on. He deserved that.” 

“Yeah, I guess. I know I shouldn’t say that but it was kind of satisfying to watch. I just pulled her away because people started to come at her.” 

“Wait. You _are_ talking about Emma?” 

“Yes.” 

“Emma Perkins?” 

“Yes.” 

“She’s so small.” 

“But really strong.” 

“Damn.” 

“Yeah.” 

“But I mean, she can be really fucking tough I guess. That’s why Paul always liked her.” 

“Paul likes her?” 

“Yeah duh.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Aren’t they dating?”

“No.” 

Ted sighs. “Jesus. Are you serious?” 

“Yeah. They’re friends.”

“God Paul is so.. fucking useless.” 

“Hey”, Henry mumbles, in an attempt to remind Ted to be nice. 

“Do you want to go for a coffee?”, Ted just asks. 

“What?” 

“I’m really fucking tired.” 

“Okay, sure.” 

“Cool.” 


	14. Old Friends And Crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Henry go for a coffee.

They end up on a bench in front of the coffee shop near campus. Beanies. It’s almost part of the campus because only students go there and only students work there. 

Both of them are holding a steaming hot cup of cappuccino.

Henry just kind of warms his fingers on it, because it’s too hot to drink but has the perfect temperature to warm hands. 

“Why do you hate Paul so much?”, Henry finally dares to ask. Because that’s the question that has been spinning around his head for a while now. 

“Well he’s a dick.” 

“But you guys used to be friends.” 

“Yeah we were.” 

“So what happened?” 

“Do you really wanna know? I’m sure Paul already told you his version.” 

“I want to hear yours.”

Ted looks up. 

“Okay”, he says. “What did he tell you?” 

“Not much. You moved away and you guys lost contact.” 

Ted scoffs, then smiles, almost sad.

“Moved away”, he repeats, “yes, like a street away.” 

“So that’s not the reason?” 

“No. He just.. found better friends I guess.” 

“That’s it?” 

“He always had that.. stupid fucking crush on Emma Perkins and when she started talking to him and he became a part of their group, he started to ignore me.” 

“Oh.” 

“In the beginning I was still sitting with them, but I always felt like they couldn’t stand me and I hated that feeling so I took a step back. I started spending time alone and if Paul noticed, he didn’t care. And it’s petty and stupid because I only spent time alone because I was hoping he’d realise and come back and apologise but he never did.” 

“So you guys just.. you didn’t even talk about it?” 

Ted shrugs. 

“What was there to discuss? Why hang with Ted when you can have cool and popular friends?” 

“You’re cool.” 

Ted laughs.

“No. I’m really not and that’s okay. I don’t want to be cool.” 

“Everybody wants to be cool.” 

“Not me. Life is brutal, I’d rather be invisible.” 

“But.. that’s all? He liked them better?” 

“I think he just straight up didn’t like me anymore. You know, I..” Ted stops, hesitating now. 

Henry waits for him to continue. 

Ted takes a sip of his coffee, before he looks at Henry again, scanning him for a few seconds. 

“Can I trust you?”, he then asks. 

“Sure.” 

“I have never told this to anyone except Paul and if you tell someone, I might have to kill you, okay?” 

Henry swallows, but nods. 

“Okay”, he fumbles out. 

Ted scans him again, before he drops his gaze back on this cup. 

“I fucking loved Paul”, he says. 

“Yeah, you guys were friends.” 

“No, like.. I had a crush on him.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“You told him?”

“Yes, and he got really weird about it. I mean, I didn’t really give a fuck about him not liking me back, that’s okay. I just.. he completely changed the way he treated me after finding out I’m bi and kinda into him and that was really shitty.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not like I acted on it, you know? I ignored the crush, I was okay with us just being friends. I just told him because I thought he should know. I shouldn’t have.” 

“He shouldn’t have pushed you away like that.” 

“There’s a lot of shouldn’t-s. I shouldn’t miss him.” 

“But you do?” 

“Of course I do, he was my best friend. We did everything together.” 

“That’s really shitty, I’m sorry.” 

“I just.. maybe that’s selfish because he didn’t need me but I.. fucking needed him back then. My life went to shit and the only person I wanted to talk to was just.. gone.”

“What happened?”

“A lot.” 

“You don‘t want to talk about it?”

“I mean, I can tell you but I don’t wanna sound like a whiny bitch.” 

“Okay, tell me.” 

Ted looks up for a second, before he focuses on his cup again, fiddling with the plastic lid. 

“My parents split up”, he says, “My dad had cheated on my mom, my mom cheated back.” 

“Oh shit.” 

Ted smiles unhappily, then he nods. 

“Shit”, he repeats. 

“Are they okay?” 

“Yeah, they moved on.” 

“And did you?” 

“No. I don’t know. It’s not like they gave me time. Dad suddenly had a pregnant twenty-five year old girlfriend. Mom never wanted to talk about it. She likes to ignore bad things.” 

“Do _you_ wanna talk about it?” 

“I did, back then. Now I’m becoming my mom, I just ignore things.” 

“That doesn’t sound healthy.” 

“I don’t care.” 

“Okay. Your parents split up. That’s all?” 

“Isn’t that enough?” 

“No! I mean.. I didn’t mean it like that, I just.. you said ‘a lot’ had happened.” 

Ted chuckles and nods. “It’s fine. Yeah I mean, I started to realise that I was not straight, that gave me a lot of anxiety. Foolishly I had told Paul about _that_, because it kind of had to do with him.” 

“And he pushed you away”, Henry mumbles. 

Ted nods. “Also my dog died, he got ran over by a car.” 

“Oh god”, Henry whispers. 

“Yeah, at this point I’m just pretty sure god fucking hates me.”

He flips heaven off, before taking another sip of his coffee. 

“But did things get better?” 

He looks up, thinking about it for a while. 

“I guess”, he finally mumbles, “I met Bri.” 

“And you started dating her?” 

Ted shrugs and nods. 

“She’s fucking amazing.” 

“Yeah?” 

He smiles now, while thinking of her and it’s weirdly adorable. 

“She was a loser like me but also the funniest and prettiest girl I ever met and I still don’t know why she dated me for almost three years  but she did.”

“She sounds great.” 

“Yeah”, he says, then the smile slowly disappears. “Well, she broke up with me. So that’s over too.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Pretty sure she was too good for me.” 

“No.” 

“Darling..” 

“No, you try to hide it, but you’re actually a great person.” 

“I’m not.” 

“Fuck you. Accept it.”

“No, fuck you.” 

Henry smiles now and so does Ted. 

“And you said Paul likes Emma?”, Henry asks after a while.

“Dude’s hopelessly devoted.” 

“Okay thanks.” 

“Why?” 

“She’s into him.” 

“Duh.” 

“Don’t say that. It makes me feel stupid for never realising.” 

“Well maybe you are stupid then.” 

“Hey!”

“Just kidding, you look very smart.” 

“That again?” 

“Darling you’re wearing a turtleneck.” 

“How is that smart?” 

“I don’t know. It seems weirdly smart. Maybe it’s just your face.” 

“My face?” 

“Yes. Also, I’m still not over the fact that you’re majoring in biology on your own free will.” 

“Biology is interesting.” 

“It’s kinda sexy that you actually think that.” 

“What?” Henry blushes. 

“Someone’s gonna be into it someday.” 

“I’m also doing musical theatre”, Henry fumbles out, in an attempt to cover how flustered Ted made him. 

“Oh that’s actually cool.” 

“I guess.” 

“Should we go back? It’s cold as fuck here.”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, I gotta pee real quick, be right back.” 

Henry just nods, while Ted gets up and goes back inside. 

“Henry?“ 

Henry looks up to see Emma and Charlotte come towards him.

“Was that Ted?”, Emma asks. 

Henry nods and gets up. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you drinking coffee with him?”

“Why not?”

Emma just frowns 

“Hey, he said Paul likes you”, Henry says, after a while of awkward silence. 

She scoffs. “Paul doesn’t fucking like me”, she mumbles. 

“Yeah he does.” 

“Do you really think I’m gonna believe Richards?” 

“Well I do.” 

“You trust him?” 

“Yes.” 

“Ugh, dude, don’t do that.” 

Henry frowns. “What does that mean?”

“It means you’re too nice to everyone, even to people who don’t deserve it. Ted is an asshole.” 

“He’s actually pretty great.” 

“Are you in love with him now?” 

Henry stays quiet, because he’s getting really mad at her and he doesn’t want to say something, he’s going to regret later. 

“Oh fuck, are you?”, she asks. 

“No I’m not. You’re being rude.” 

“Dude..” 

“You don’t know Ted.”

“But you do?” 

“I know enough to know that he’s a good person.” 

“You do you”, she mumbles. 

Henry looks at Charlotte for help but she looks just as helpless as he feels. 

God, Emma really is horribly stubborn.

“Ted said Paul is in love with you. Maybe he‘s right“, Charlotte softly chimes in.

“So what? Maybe Henry trusts him, but I don’t.” 

“Why are you so mean to him? It’s not like he did anything to you“, Henry says. 

She sighs. 

“Just leave it Henry, will you?” 

Henry turns around to see when Ted is going to come back. He can see him talk to the barista through the large window. Looks like this might take a while. 

Henry turns back around to Emma and Charlotte, but stays quiet. 

He’s really mad at Emma at this point, but he tries to ignore it. He doesn’t want to be mad at her, he doesn’t want to fight. 

So he’s not going to say anything. 

“I think maybe we should go inside”, Charlotte says, either trying to diffuse the situation or escape it. Maybe both. 

Emma nods. 

“See you”, Henry says. 

Charlotte nods, giving him a quick hug while Emma already walks towards the coffee shop. 

“She’s in a bad mood. Don’t take it personally, okay?”, she whispers. 

“Paul?”, Henry asks. 

Charlotte nods. “The whole thing is driving her crazy.” 

“Okay.” 

“I gotta go inside, but see you, yeah?” 

Henry nods and she places a soft kiss on his cheek, before following Emma. 

Henry turns around, to look for Ted again. 

He comes out just as Emma opens the door and they kind of bump into each other, darting malignant glances. 

Then Emma pushes past Ted inside and Ted continues walking towards Henry. 

“Why did it take so long?”, Henry asks. 

“The barista flirted with me.” 

Henry throws a last glance inside, at the barista, before turning away from the coffee shop. 

“I mean, he’s cute.” 

Ted chuckles. “Yeah, I don’t know. Do you want a cookie?” 

“Huh?” 

Ted holds up a small paperback.

“Did you just buy this?” 

“No.” Ted turns the bag around to reveal a phone number, someone (probably the barista) scribbled down there with a sharpie. 

“Wow”, Henry whispers, “the barista clearly knows how to flirt.”

“He had game”, Ted agrees. 

“Are you going to call him?” 

“I don’t know. He was clearly looking for a one night stand.” 

“How would you know?” 

“He said ‘call if you feel lonely tonight’, then he winked. Dude’s just horny.” 

Henry chuckles at that. 

“Oh, sorry.” 

“Nah, I mean I don’t think I’m ready to date again anyway.” 

“Brianna?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Anyways, do you want to split the cookie?” 

“What kind of cookie is it?”

“Chocolate chip or something.” 

“Oh, yes!” 

Ted chuckles and opens the bag, breaking the cookie in a half. 

He gives one half to Henry and keeps the other half. 

“Thanks”, Henry says. 

“Thank Dean.” 

“That was his name?”

“I think so. Not sure anymore.” 

“Ted come on.” 

“What? Was I supposed to remember it?” 

“Yes?!”

“I forgot yours too, right after you told me the first time.” 

“Well thanks for that.” 

“Yeah, sorry.” 

“Are you going to just throw it away?”, Henry asks now, nodding at the bag with the number. 

Ted looks at it for a while, before folding it and tugging it in the pocket of his jacket. “Nah, I’m gonna keep it”, he says. 

“Really?” 

He shrugs. 

“He was hot. Maybe I’ll feel lonely tonight.” 

Henry just shakes his head in disbelief. 

“What?”, Ted asks. 

_“Really?” _

“Yes.”


	15. Paulkins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the chapter title says it all

Paul and Emma are acting really weird, since their New Years kiss. Neither of them mentions what happened, but both of them clearly remember. They still talk to each other and they are trying very hard to act normal, but they also keep an uncomfortable distance, whenever Henry sees them interact. 

Right now they’re just hanging out in Emma’s and Charlotte’s room and Paul and Emma sit as far away from each other as they possibly can. 

Usually they used to almost sit in each other’s labs. Emma stopped wearing Paul’s pullovers and she’s rather quiet, whenever he’s with them. 

Henry asked her about it in biology once. 

“I fucking miss him so much”, she just said, looking tired and sad. 

“So talk to him”, Henry answered. 

“I can’t. Every time I see him, my brain just stops working. I hate that he kind of knows I like him.” 

And Henry keeps thinking about that. _I hate that he kind of knows I like him_. 

Is it better to just never tell? 

How would he know? 

He’s never been in love. He had crushes, sure, but they were hopeless, he never clung to them. 

Maybe Emma really would be better off without Paul knowing. They could still act normal. They’d still be best friends. 

Henry’s almost mad at Paul, because he’s always so oblivious. Maybe not ‘fucking useless’ like Ted said, but clearly a dreamer, always zoning out. He just doesn’t realise what’s right in front of him. 

“Anyways, he was cute but I just didn’t feel like going out with him”, Charlotte ends her story about the cute guy she met at the library. 

“But he was nice?”, Bill asks. 

“Yeah, he was perfect.” 

“So why didn’t you give him your number?” 

“I just didn’t feel attracted to him.” 

“Are you only attracted to assholes?”, Emma asks, tiredly. 

“I don’t know. I’m not even attracted to Sam anymore. I don’t know if I ever was. I just thought he was kinda good looking. And he was nice to me.” 

Henry watches Charlotte, when she looks down at her hands, fumbling with the zipper of her jacket now. There’s more. There’s something she’s not saying. 

She looks kind of sad, but it‘s been like that for a few days.

It‘s like her thoughts are scattered all over the place and she‘s constantly trying to get a hold of them. She looks lost. 

“You okay?”, Henry whispers, leaning closer to her. 

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I think so. Just questioning a lot.” 

“Okay. You can talk to me, you know.” 

She shrugs. 

“I just feel like I’m annoying everyone with it.” 

“You’re not. They’re not quiet because of you.” 

“Maybe.” 

“Do you wanna go somewhere else?” 

“No, it’s okay. I think I have to figure this out on my own.”

“Okay.” 

“But thank you.”

“Of course.” 

“It’s kinda late”, Paul says now, “I should go.” 

Emma nods.

“Bill?”, Paul asks. 

Bill nods and gets up. 

Paul gets up too. 

Bill looks at Henry now, nodding towards the door. 

“Henry we can walk you”, he says, throwing him an empathetic look. 

Henry feels his heart shrink a little. 

Henry knows why Bill is offering that.

Because he doesn’t want Henry to have to walk alone. Because it could be dangerous. Because of Mason. 

Henry told Paul and Charlotte what happened too, just so the whole group knows. And now all of them keep treating him like he might break. 

They walk him everywhere (that is actually great, because at this point, Henry is genuinely terrified of being alone in empty places) and Henry is pretty sure that each of them already threatened Mason in some kind of way. 

Emma even tried to beat him up again, but was stopped by a professor. She left Mason a black eye. 

Henry hates feeling like he’s annoying. And he feels like that. He doesn’t want everybody to have to worry about him, he doesn’t want to get that much attention. 

He feels like it’s getting on people’s nerves, even if it’s not and it makes him feel like shit. 

Henry just gets up now, slightly in a bad mood and feeling very bad about it. He shouldn’t be in a bad mood, he should be thankful. 

“Bye”, he just says, walking out of the door, Bill is holding open for him. 

“Bye”, Charlotte says and Emma nods lightly. 

Bill closes the door as soon as all of them are in the corridor and then they just kind of follow Paul, who is walking ahead. 

“Paul?”, Henry asks after a while. 

“Huh?” 

“Are you in love with Emma?” 

Paul just kind of stops walking and Bill almost flinches at the very blunt question. 

But let’s be honest here, Henry has enough at this point. He can’t take this anymore, why can’t they just kiss and get married? They clearly like each other. 

“What?“, Paul asks. 

“Are you?” 

“Why?” 

“Because you guys kissed and you’ve been acting really weird about it.” 

“I..I just..” 

He hesitates, frowning now. Then he shrugs. 

“Paul?”, Bill asks. Until now he has just been watching them, wide-eyed. 

“Yes”, Paul finally admits quietly. 

“Tell her”, Bill says. 

Paul quickly shakes his head. “No.” 

“Why not?”, Henry asks. 

“I can’t loose her because of a stupid crush.” 

“She literally told you she’s into you!” 

“She was drunk!” 

“And?”

“And we had just kissed. That happens. You say stupid stuff when you’re drunk. I’m sure she avoids me because she regrets saying that.” 

“Of course she regrets it, she thinks you’re avoiding her because of it.” 

“Did she tell you that?”

“Basically.” 

“Yes or no?” 

“Yes.” 

“Oh.” 

It’s quiet after that, while Paul rethinks all of his life choices. 

“I don’t know, I can’t just..”, he starts, then falls silent. 

He sighs and just starts walking again, away from Emma’s and Charlottes room. 

“Paul you go back right now”, Bill says, while both, he and Henry, hurry to follow Paul. 

“Give me some time to think”, Paul says. 

“You had time”, Henry chimes in. 

“I need more!” 

He sounds so stressed, suddenly. 

“Okay”, Bill gives in, as they follow Paul outside. 

Once they made it outside, Paul stops again. He runs his fingers through his hair, panicking now. 

“Fuck, what do I do?” 

“You calm down”, Bill says, carefully reaching for Pauls shoulders. 

“I love her so much, I have been for like four years. What if I mess it up?” 

“You won’t.” 

“I will! I mess everything up.” 

“Paul, take a breath”, Henry says, slowly. 

Paul does take a breath, closes his eyes too. 

“What do I even say?” 

“Three magical words”, Bill says and Henry has to concentrate to not frown at him. 

“Jesus Bill”, Paul whispers, “Don’t be so soppy.”

“Well do you have a better idea?” 

“I have to do something cool. Because she’s cool.” 

“Paul you don’t have to impress her, she already likes you”, Henry reminds. 

“But she deserves something impressive.” 

“She won’t mind something simple”, Bill claims quietly. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go to her.” 

“Now?”, Henry blurts out.  Because he didn’t expect that. He didn’t expect that any of it would work. 

God, he really should have done this sooner. 

“Yes! Follow me”, Paul says, turning around and hurrying back through the door. 

Henry and Bill follow him, because he said so. Also, they’re curious, of course. 

Paul knocks on Emma’s door with an impatience that is nearly contagious. 

Emma opens the door. 

“What?”, she asks. 

Paul just stares at her like he forgot how talking works. 

Good god. Henry really thought this was going to work for a second there. He kind of forgot about Pauls hopeless infatuation. About _how_ hopeless it is. This is bad. 

Emma looks at Henry and Bill now, a questioning look on her face. 

Henry just nods towards Paul, so she looks back at him. 

“Paul?”, she asks. 

“Yeah?”, he mutters back.

“Did you forget something?” She turns around to look inside her room, probably looking for a forgotten jacket or something similar. 

“I love you romantically”, Paul suddenly chokes out. 

She turns back around, looking at him now. Then at Henry and Bill, maybe asking for confirmation. 

Henry just kind of nods. 

Emma looks back at Paul, scanning him.

“No shit”, she mumbles. 

“Yes shit”, Paul says, awkwardly.

She smiles, then reaches for his face and pulls him down for a kiss. 

Then they kiss. 

Simple as that. 

“What the fuck”, Bill mumbles. 

Paul wraps his arms around Emma, pulling her on her tiptoes. 

“Guys?”, Charlotte asks, coming at them from inside the room. 

They part, after a while, giggling while still holding each other. 

Charlotte pushes past them outside, carrying her jacket. 

“We’ll give you some room”, she says, reaching for Bills and Henrys arms and pulling them away. 

Paul and Emma don’t even look up. 

— 

“You wanna come with us?”, Bill asks, when they all stop in the corridor to the boys dorms. 

“I think I’m gonna head to my room“, Henry says, because he‘s very tired and they‘re probably planning on watching Downton Abbey anyway. They‘re way further in than him. 

“Oh okay”, Charlotte mumbles. 

“We’re gonna watch Downton Abbey then”, Bill says. 

“Have fun”, Henry says. 

“Do you want us to walk you to your room?”, Bill asks. 

“I think I’m good.” 

“I can walk you”, Teds voice says. 

Henry turns around to see him close the door to the corridor behind himself. 

“Problem solved”, Henry notes. 

“Yeah, what a great timing.” 

“Where were you?” 

Because it is pretty late at this point. 

“Nowhere.” 

“Cool.” 

“I know. Come on darling.” 

He just kind of nods into the direction of their room. 

“Bye guys”, Henry says, throwing a glance at Bill and Charlotte who are just staring at Ted like he’s an alien. 

“Bye”, Charlotte whispers. 

Henry turns to Ted when Bill doesn’t say anything. 

“Let’s go?” 

Ted nods and starts walking, throwing one last confused gaze at Bill and Char. 

—

Paul and Emma are dating now. 

It’s mostly adorable and only sometimes annoying. They’re spending more time together than they did before and Henry didn’t even know that was possible, since they’ve been together for every second of every day before as well. 

Now it’s even more. 

They’re still with the group sometimes, but it’s pretty conspicuous that Charlotte, Bill and Henry are spending more time in a group of only three now. 

It‘s okay, because they‘re happy that they finally got their shit together and Henry is also pretty sure that they‘re gonna come back at some point. They just need some time to rearrange everything. 

Charlotte is getting quieter and at this point Henry is actually starting to worry about her. Every time he asks, she just shakes her head and forces a smile. 

He talked to Bill about it and Bill didn‘t know anything either. 

Not even Bill. 

So she clearly doesn’t want anyone to know. 

Henry decided that he is going to wait and if she needs someone to talk to at some point, he will be there. 

He just hopes that she is okay. 


	16. Tiramisu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Henry hold hands (purely platonic, duh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of sexual assault again (Mason)  
\- also mention of trauma

Henry is not okay. 

He could ignore the whole Mason thing, maybe he could forget about it, if it wasn‘t for Mason being _there_ all the fucking time. 

He‘s just everywhere. 

Henry is getting paranoid about it, he even told Ted that he thinks Mason might be stalking him. 

Ted told him that he‘s probably not, but he also got weirdly quiet and concerned. 

Now Henry is sitting under a tree on campus, trying to study and Mason is there again. 

A little further away but still there and staring at Henry, just staring again. Maybe it‘s supposed to intimidate. 

Henry wishes he could say it doesn‘t but it does. He‘s intimidated, scared even. Horribly scared. 

He gets up now in an attempt to escape the situation, carrying the book he just studied as a weapon. It’s hard enough to hurt, right? It has to be, it’s biology. 

That‘s when Mason starts to walk towards him and Henry freezes. 

There are people around. He‘s not going to do anything, is he? 

Henry’s feet set into motion (thank god) and he manages to walk backwards, stumbling against the tree before turning around and hurrying over the grass away from Mason. 

There are people. Maybe there’s someone he knows. 

He frantically looks around until he finds someone familiar. 

There’s Ted. 

That’s good. 

He can go to Ted. 

He’s just standing there, talking to a professor. 

God Henry fucking loves Ted (purely platonic of course). He’s always near him when Henry needs him to be. It’s almost like he can read minds. 

“Hey Ted”, he says, once he reached him and the Professor. 

“Hi”, Ted says. 

The Professor nods at Henry. 

Henry would normally not interrupt because it’s kind of rude. But he’s just standing there and the conversation seems to be over anyway. 

“Alright, thank you”, Ted says now. 

“Of course”, the Professor says. 

Henry looks back at Mason. He stopped walking but he’s still staring, looking annoyed now. 

Henry grabs Teds hand. Maybe it’s a reflex, maybe something else, Henry doesn’t care. It makes him feel safe, somehow. 

Mason hesitates and frowns. He clearly noticed. 

“Oh”, the Professor says and when Henry looks back at him, he’s looking at their hands. 

Ted doesn’t even seem to mind. 

Henry blushes. 

“Sorry”, he says, trying to let go of Teds hand but Ted holds on. 

“Oh no, I’m happy for you two! Love is love”, the Professor says, smiling now. 

“Indeed”, Ted smiles. 

“My daughter is a lesbian”, he keeps going. 

“Cool”, Ted says. 

The Professor hesitates for a moment. “I was just surprised. I apologise if I was being rude.” 

“You’re good.” 

He smiles again. “Okay well, see you in class, Ted.” 

Ted nods and the Professor leaves. 

“Sorry”, Henry says again. 

“Nah, I can see him”, Ted mumbles, pulling Henry away now. “What a fucking idiot. Does he want to die?” 

“Not you too.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Emma threatened to kill him as well.” 

“Maybe we can team up then. This is the first thing we can agree on.” 

“Ted no..”

“Maybe I’m not gonna kill him. But I might accidentally beat him up at some point.” 

“Can you take this serious? Please be careful, I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

“Okay, whatever.” 

“Promise.” 

“I promise.” 

“You can let go of my hand now.” 

“No, if I’m gonna pretend to date you, I’m gonna pretend to date you.” 

“We’re not pretending to date! I just took your hand because.. it was because I..” 

How can he put this without sounding desperately in love? 

“Because my hand is soft and warm and you love me”, Ted jokes. 

“No!”

Ted smiles. 

“No it.. gives comfort. This is stupid, just forget about it.” 

“It’s not stupid, I get it. You can hold my hand darling.” 

Henry blushes again. 

What is going on today? 

“Okay”, he mumbles, “thanks.” 

“Oh shit”, Ted whispers now, then he pulls Henry in some kind of class room. 

“What?”, Henry asks, trying to catch a look outside. 

“There’s the Beanies-Barista.” 

“The one who wrote his number on a cookie-bag?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why are you hiding?” 

Ted raises an eyebrow. “Why do you think?” 

“Because you didn’t call him?” 

Ted looks almost devastated by Henrys naivety. 

“No I fucking slept with him”, he mutters. 

Oh. _Oh_ wow. 

He’s not even joking, he looks dead serious. 

“You did?”, Henry fumbles out. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re innocent as fuck.” 

“I’m not”, Henry defends himself, like innocence is a bad thing. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing anymore, Teds confession got him all startled. 

“Why?”, he asks, as soon as he managed to sort his thoughts. 

“He has a great ass.” 

“Can you take this serious?” 

“Brianna called and it still hurts so I slept with the next best guy.” 

“She calls you?” 

“Of course she does, to make sure I’m okay.” 

_Of course_. Like that’s normal. 

“Often?” 

“Like once a month. Why are you asking me all this? I slept with him and then I sneaked out when he was asleep.” 

“You left?” 

“It was a one night stand, you’re supposed to leave!” 

“Did he know that it was one?”

“Yeah.” 

“And he was okay with it?” 

“Yes! But he changed his mind afterwards and kept texting me and then I blocked him.” 

“Ted!” 

“It was getting annoying!” 

“That’s so rude!”

“I even cuddled with him for a bit like a gentleman okay?”

“And then you sneaked out!” 

“I don’t have to justify my actions.” 

Henry sighs, deciding to be a little less angry at Ted. 

“Why did he change his mind?” 

“Probably because I’m really good in bed.” Ted winks at Henry and Henry shakes his head in disbelief. 

“Shut up.” 

“I’m kidding.” 

“You probably broke his heart!” 

“I didn’t break his fucking heart.” 

“Then why are we hiding?” 

“Because I’m afraid he’ll try and talk to me.” 

Henry raises an eyebrow and Ted slowly gives up. 

“Maybe I hurt him a little by leaving”, he admits. 

“Good god Ted.” 

“I really didn’t mean to.” 

“So what now?” 

Ted shrugs and sighs, leaning backwards against the wall. Then his gaze drops on Henry. 

“Date me”, he says. 

Henrys heart makes a little jump.

“What?”, he chokes out. 

“Can you pretend to date me? Like just hold my hand like earlier?” 

“Are you serious?” 

“Yes. If he thinks I have a boyfriend, maybe he’ll stay away.” 

“He’s gonna think you cheated on me with him!” 

“And?” 

“I don’t wanna be a stupid boyfriend who stays with a cheater.” 

“Jesus Henry, maybe you don’t know about it then.” 

“How did we start dating?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“What if someone asks?” 

“No ones gonna ask. I’m just asking you to hold my hand.” 

“At least put your arm around me. Commit to it. If we’re just holding hands, he’s not gonna believe it.” 

“You’re going all in now, huh?” 

“Do you want my help or not?”

“You’re gonna help me?”

“Yeah, come on.” Henry nods towards the door. 

“God thank you.” Ted looks so grateful, it makes Henry smile. 

“You can also kiss my cheek later”, Henry notes. 

“I can?“ 

“You better treat me like a goddamn king, Ted. You cheated on me.” 

Ted laughs. 

“Okay, king.” 

“Just.. don’t kiss me on the mouth okay?” 

“I won’t. I promise.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry reaches for the door handle and also for Teds wrist. 

“Come on, love.” 

Ted smiles. “Getting into character already?” 

“I’m majoring in musical theatre for a reason. I’ll be the best pretend-boyfriend you ever had.” 

“Of course you will, you’re the first.” 

“Let’s just go.” 

Henry opens the door and pulls Ted along, pulling him closer as soon as they’re in the corridor. 

He wraps his arm around Teds waist and Ted puts his arm around Henrys shoulders. 

It feels weirdly nice, somehow. 

Henry is probably just touch-starved. 

But he wouldn’t mind doing this more often. Ted is all strong but at the same time soft and gentle. 

Henry slowly remembers why they are doing this when he sees the barista, holding a book in his hand and shamelessly staring at them. He eventually catches himself, when he realises that Henry caught him staring and looks back at a girl, that is standing next to him. 

His eyes still keep flicking at them. 

“I think he’s buying it”, Ted says. 

“Of course he is.” 

“I’m gonna kiss your cheek.” 

“Do it, coward.” 

Ted laughs and leans over, pressing a kiss on Henrys cheek and making him giggle. 

Then he pulls him closer and leads him around a corner, away from the barista. 

They made it. 

Henrys heart is still beating fast. 

“You owe me one”, he says.

“I can be your pretend-boyfriend if you ever need me to.” 

Henry chuckles. 

“We should make up a code word.” 

“Like ‘Can you pretend to be my boyfriend?’” 

“That’s too long. It has to be something short. Something subtle.” 

Ted nods, like he understands. 

Then he says: “Tiramisu.” 

“What?” 

“Probably the greatest dessert ever.” 

“Okay. Tiramisu then.” 

“I’m actually gonna use this.” 

“Do it.” 

Ted chuckles. 

Henry secretly wishes that one of them _is_ actually gonna use it. 

It feels good to pretend. He probably wouldn’t date Ted for real but pretending is fine. Pretending is nice. It’s nice to be held like that. 

Ted is still holding him. 

Henry forces himself to let go and Ted lets go as well and with him goes the comfort. 

At least it was nice for a few minutes. 


	17. Wilson Is Gay Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry and Frankie are talking on the phone, Ted is sad but still a little bit of an asshole, Sam is just pure asshole

“I think I’m gonna go with pan”, Frankie says. 

“Okay.” 

Henry put the phone on speaker and now it’s just laying on his chest. He’s alone in his room anyway, god knows where Ted went. 

“I tried bi for a while, like just in my head and it was okay but it didn’t feel as much as _me_.”

“And pan does that?” 

“Kinda. I mean I like it. Feels homey. And the pride flag is cool.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Okay. Yeah it is.” 

“Hey but don’t you dare gift me a nice pan for Christmas or for my birthday or something. I swear to god I will knock you out with it.” 

Henry chuckles. 

“Oh man, I totally just ordered one on the internet, now I have to return it.” 

She laughs. 

“Dad’s gonna do that when you tell them”, Henry notes after a while. 

“Yeah he’s such a dad.” 

“Remember how he gifted me a little pride flag when I came out?” 

“That was very sweet.” 

“Yeah. ..I still have it.” 

“Did you bring it to college?” 

“Yes, I stuck it in Wilson’s earth, he’s gay now.” 

“He’s always been gay.” 

“Now he’s showing it proudly to the world.” 

“He didn’t have a pride flag when I visited you though.” 

“Yeah, I hid it back then, because I didn’t know Ted well enough to wave a pride flag in his face.”

“And now you do?” 

“Yeah we’re kinda friends a little.” 

“Aw!” 

“He’s actually nice.” 

“Duh.” 

“How was I supposed to know? He can be really rude.” 

“You’re always so judgemental.” 

“I’m not.” 

“Ugh whatever.” 

Henry hears the door click open and shortly after, Ted walks in. 

“Hi Henry, hi Frankie”, he says. 

“Hi”, Frankie says through the phone. 

“Hey, are you alright?”, Henry asks, because Ted looks really done. 

Ted just lets himself fall backwards on his bed, staring at the ceiling. 

“I hate my whole fucking life”, he says. 

“Frankie I’m gonna call you back”, Henry mumbles. 

“‘Kay, see you.” 

She hangs up and Henry pushes the phone off his chest before he gets up and sits next to Ted, looking down at him. 

Ted looks up, scanning Henry until he starts to smile. 

“Darling are you worried?”

“Yes.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“What happened?” 

“Bri called.” 

“Do you want her to keep doing that?”

“Sort of no, but it also feels good to hear her voice. She sounds like an angel.” 

“Do you want me to restrain you so you don’t do something stupid? Like for example, sleep with a barista?” 

Ted chuckles. 

“Restrain me? Kinda kinky”, he mumbles.

“Oh shut up.” 

“You started it.” 

“I did not!” 

“Mhmh.” 

“Good god you’re the worst. Here I was, trying to cheer you up.” 

“You did cheer me up. I am very cheered up.” 

“Oh are you?”

Henry starts to fumble with the collar of Teds shirt, mostly because he’s making him lowkey nervous. 

“You know what would cheer _me_ up?”, he then asks. 

The smile on Teds lips disappears almost completely. 

“What?”, he asks quietly. 

“If you tidied up your side of the room. I can’t look at this anymore.” 

Ted laughs and lightly pushes Henrys hand away. 

“Really?” 

“Yes! Please Ted.” 

“I thought you were gonna say something sexual for a second there.” 

“You mean you wished. Well keep dreaming.” 

“I didn’t!” 

“Yeah sure.” 

“I really didn’t. What am I supposed to think when you homoerotically fumble with my T-shirt?”

“Mhmh.” 

Ted laughs now and Henry chuckles along. 

— 

“Henry?” 

Bill gently nudges his arm to get his attention. 

Henry looks up, confused because he didn’t even realise that he wasn’t paying attention. 

“Yes?” 

“Are you coming too?”

“Where?”

Bill smiles softly. 

“We’ve been talking about it for the past ten minutes. The bonfire at the lake.” 

Henry looks around the group. 

Charlotte is sitting next to Bill, her expression nearly worried while her eyes sit on Henry. 

Emma and Paul sit together as well, of course. Paul put his arm around Emma, and she’s leaning against him. 

They’re at the pizza place again, Luigi’s, where Sam works. Because of the really good pizza, not Sam. 

It’s just that Sam is there, not serving them but others and seeing him makes Henry remember how he nearly slept with Frankie and that makes him angry and then there’s also the fact that all of that happened in the same night as the Mason thing and that freaks Henry out. 

Of course Sam is a trigger as well. 

Henry lets go off his knife when he realises he just clenched it until now. 

“The bonfire at the lake”, he repeats quietly, “Sure.” 

Bill smiles. “You’re coming along?” 

“Yeah, okay.” 

“Cool.” 

“When are we meeting up?” 

“Around five, at the tree.” 

Henry nods. The tree is one particular tree, standing pretty much between their dorms in the quadrangle of the campus. 

“Me and Bill can pick you up”, Paul says, smiling at Henry. 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles, once again thankful but slightly uncomfortable for needing this. 

“Hey guys”, Sam says, coming at their table now. 

“What are you doing?”, Emma asks, obviously annoyed. 

“Bringing your fucking bill”, he says, while putting it down. 

Charlotte doesn’t even look up. 

“Thanks, you may leave”, Emma says. 

“Fuck you, I’m just doing my job.” 

“Everyone could have brought that bill.” 

“Well but I did.” 

“Are you trying to get to Charlotte again?” 

“Charlotte?”, he scoffs, looking at her now, “What a waste of time, she’s clearly gay.” 

Charlotte looks up at him for a second, blushing now. 

“Just because a woman doesn’t want to have sex with you, doesn’t mean she’s gay Sam”, Emma hits back. 

“Maybe Henry can answer that”, he says now. 

Henry looks up, confused until he remembers Frankie. 

“What are you talking about?”, he asks nonetheless, while he tries to build up enough self-control to not try and kill Sam. 

“Your sister clearly wanted to.” 

Everybody at that table looks up now. Bill tries to reach for Henrys arm but misses him, because Henry already got up and runs at Sam now. 

— 

They got kicked out of the restaurant. 

Emma joined into the fight and now both she and Henry are sitting on a bench in front of the restaurant. She just got a blue-ish eye, while Henrys nose is full on bleeding. He’s just pressing a tissue against it while hoping that it’s gonna stop soon. 

That always happens to him. Nose-bleeds that means. He never got into a fight before. 

He’s actually surprised that he didn’t do that bad. 

The others are just kind of standing around them, building half a circle around the bench until Charlotte breaks it and sits down next to Henry.

“What was he talking about?”, she asks, quietly, “when he mentioned Frankie?” 

“They had a thing.. kind of. It wasn’t really a thing. At that party, you know. Ted stopped it before they could get to it, because Franks was really drunk.” 

“Oh god”, Charlotte whispers. 

Henry nods lightly.

“Are you okay?”, he then asks.

She nods immediately. 

“No one took it seriously, what he said.” 

“Okay.” She just kind of stares at the ground, fiddling with her hands. 

“But it’s not like it would be a bad thing”, Henry quickly adds, as if that’s not obvious. 

“My parents would probably hate me forever, but yeah.” She looks sad, while saying that. Her voice is kinda shaky too.

“Oh. Sorry.” 

She just shrugs. 

“Char if you’re gay, you can tell me.” 

“God, Henry I _know._” 

“Okay.” 

“I’m not gay.” 

“Okay.” 

“I mean, I.. I’m not.” 

“‘Kay.” 

She nods lightly, maybe to support her statement. 

“So you’re coming to the lake?”, she then asks. 

Henry nods. 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, great.” 


	18. The Bonfire At The Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group goes to the bonfire at the lake, Ted is there too (and other people!)

The bonfire is already burning when they reach it, because every single one of them was too late at the tree. 

“Oh! Pretty”, Charlotte says quietly. 

Henry nods even though it’s mostly just a really big fire. 

But it’s nice and warm. 

And there’s punch, also warm. 

“Anyone wanna get a punch?”, Emma asks.

Paul nods. “I can get you one babe”, he says. 

Emma chuckles. “Sure?” 

Paul nods. 

“Thanks”, she says, pressing a kiss on his cheek. 

“Char? Bill, Henry?”, Paul asks. 

Henry nods. “I can help you carry”, he volunteers. 

“I’d like one”, Bill says.

Charlotte is looking somewhere else. 

“Char?”, Henry asks again, 

She looks up. “Huh?” 

“Punch?” 

“Oh! No, thank you.” 

“Okay.” 

So Henry and Paul go for the punch, filling four cups. 

Paul leaves first and Henry is alone. 

“Well hello darling.” 

Ted appears next to him and at this point, Henry is almost used to him appearing out of nowhere. 

“Hi”, he says. 

“For me? You’re so sweet”, Ted says, taking Bills punch. 

Henry chuckles. 

“For Bill”, he says. 

“We’ll make him a new one.” 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Having fun, obviously. Nothing’s better than a really big fire.” 

“Really?” 

“No, there are so many things better than a fire.” 

Henry laughs and Ted smiles. 

Henry makes another punch for Bill now, while Ted watches him, just leaning against the wooden table. 

“I have to get this to Bill, wanna come with me?” 

Ted looks over to the rest of the group, then shakes his head. 

“Nah, I’d rather walk right into that fire.” 

“Please don’t.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t. Maybe I’ll find something else really stupid to do. Maybe the Beanies Barista is here.” 

“Don’t you dare Ted.” 

“I mean, he was really good in bed.” 

“He thinks we’re dating, don’t you cheat on me again or I will break up. No more tiramisu”, Henry says. 

Ted laughs now. 

“Okay babe”, he says, reaching for Henrys hand and kissing his palm, before letting go. “See you around.” 

Henry nods. 

“See you.” 

Ted pushes himself away from the table and disappears in the crowd. 

Henry reaches for the two cups and goes back to the others, trying to ignore that Ted just kissed his hand. 

“Here you go”, he mumbles, handing Bill his cup. 

“Thanks”, Bill says. 

“Did Ted just kiss your hand?”, Emma asks. 

“I think so.” 

“What is up with you guys?” 

“Nothing. We get along now, that’s all.” 

“That’s good”, Charlotte chimes in. 

“It is”, Henry says. 

“This punch is really good”, Paul mumbles. 

Everybody nods in agreement (even Charlotte). 

— 

Henry sees Ted again, later that evening. 

He’s coming back from the restroom (there’s a little lodge, thank god, Henry would have hated to go into the nearby woods to pee), when he sees him. 

He‘s standing near the fire, talking to someone. 

His gaze falls on Henry and he immediately lights up and starts mouthing something. 

After Henry spend a few seconds in confusion, he decides to make his way over to him and the closer he gets, the more he recognises the person, Ted is talking to.

It’s the barista. 

What Ted was trying to say was tiramisu, wasn’t it? 

Henry decides that yes, it probably was. 

“Hey Babe”, Henry says, as soon as he reached Ted. 

He leans closer and presses a quick kiss on Teds cheek, while wrapping both of his arm around him. 

Ted said tiramisu so Henry is gonna go all in. 

“Hi”, Ted says, putting an arm around Henry. 

Henry looks at the barista now, looks at him for the first time for real. 

God, he really is handsome. 

“I’m Henry”, Henry just says, extending his hand to shake the baristas, like the unwitting boyfriend he is. 

“Dean”, the barista says, taking Henrys hand while staring at him. His expression is a mix between confusion and pity. 

He feels bad for Henry, he clearly does. 

“Cool”, Henry just says, before looking back at Ted. He brings his hand up to the collar of Teds shirt to play with it, while leaning closer. 

“I’m bored, wanna go somewhere else?”, he asks quietly, but loud enough for Dean to hear. 

Ted smiles now, perhaps breaking character, but it also kinda fits, especially when Henry starts to place small kisses on his cheek and jaw. 

“Okay”, he says. 

Henry smiles. “‘Kay.” 

“See you Dean.” 

Dean nods and Ted pulls Henry away. 

“God, thank you, you’re the best”, Ted says, as soon as they’re far enough. 

“You’re welcome. You did say tiramisu, right?” 

“Yeah, I mean I tried.” 

“Okay, good because otherwise that would have been really weird.”

Ted chuckles, before he just wraps both of his arms around Henry, pulling him into a hug. 

“Seriously thank you”, he says again, “You didn’t have to go that hard but you did and I’m amazed.” 

Henry smiles.

“It’s fine”, he mumbles. 

Ted lets go. 

“So where did you say you wanna go?” Ted winks at him and Henry just shakes his head, trying to contain a smile. 

“I swear to god Richards, keep it in your pants”, he says, even if the thought of sneaking away with Ted to make out makes him a little jittery. Like nervous, but in a weirdly good way. 

He shouldn’t feel like that. 

He probably just feels like that because Ted is a random handsome guy who’s also into guys and somehow very teasing. 

Ted is his friend or something like that, Henry shouldn’t blush, thinking about kissing him. He shouldn’t even think about kissing him, probably. 

He looks back up at Ted and realises that Ted is staring somewhere else. Something seems wrong. 

His mouth is slightly opened and there’s sadness in his eyes. 

“Ted?”, Henry asks. 

“There’s Bri”, Ted says. 

And here Henry was, imagining himself kissing Ted. 

“Where?” 

Henry tries to follow Teds gaze, but there are a lot of people and he doesn’t know how Brianna looks. 

“Over there. The beautiful one.” 

“Ted I’m gonna need more than that.”

Ted sighs. 

“She has dark skin and black hair. A black jacket, blue jeans, black boots. Oh and a septum piercing. That one‘s new but it looks amazing. She‘s right next to the punch table.” 

Henry scans the crowd until he finds her. 

Ted didn’t lie, she’s beautiful. Gorgeous even. Like some sort of goddess. 

Henry’s not even into women but he totally understands why Ted forgot to breath for the past few seconds. 

“Ted?” 

“Huh?” 

“Please keep breathing.” 

“Uh huh.” 

He takes a shaky breath. 

“Shit Henry”, he whispers. Now he’s freaking out. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” 

Ted looks up, tears in his eyes. 

“Why is she here?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“She could have given a fucking warning, at least.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Shit.” 

“Do you wanna talk to her?” 

“I guess.”

“Well go.” 

“Now?” 

“I can wait here.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.” 

Ted hesitates.

“Go”, Henry says again, nodding towards Brianna. 

Ted nods. 

“Okay thanks, I’ll be right back, okay?” 

Henry nods and Ted pushes through the crowd towards Brianna. 

Henry watches them at first. Watches how she smiles when she sees him, how she hugs him. 

Then Henry focuses on other stuff, because he doesn‘t want to be weird and stare at them. 

He pulls out his phone and pretends that he’s really busy while scrolling through Instagram. 

They’re gone, when he looks up again. About five minutes passed, maybe. 

“Henry?” 

He turns around to see Bri. 

“Yeah?” 

“You’re Henry?” 

He nods. 

“Teds boyfriend?” 

Oh. Okay. 

Henry just nods again, because if she thinks that, Ted probably told her and he probably had a reason for it. 

“Oh thank god”, she mumbles. 

Ted was right, she really does sound like an angel. Her voice almost doesn’t suit her kinda tomboy look, but at the same time, it suits perfectly. 

“What is it?”, Henry asks. 

“Do you know where he went?” 

“He left?” 

“Yes!” She sounds guilty and a little panicky. 

“What happened?” 

She shrugs. 

“I told him about my new boyfriend.” 

She has a new boyfriend. Of course she does. That’s probably why Henry is tiramisu-dating Ted now. 

“Oh”, Henry mutters. 

“He said he has to go and then he left. I thought he might go to you but he’s not here.” 

“He’s not. Did you see in which direction he went?” 

She points in the direction she just came from. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just.. it didn’t work anymore for me. He’s a great guy, he really is. And then I met him here and I wanted to tell him about Finley earlier but I didn’t know how. And then Finley just came and I had to introduce him. It was shitty but what else was I supposed to do?” 

“Hey, it’s okay”, Henry tries to calm her down. 

“Can you help me? Do you know where he could be?” 

“I don’t, but I’ll look for him.” 

“Okay. I just wanna make sure he’s okay, he’s a lot more vulnerable than he shows.” 

“I know. I’ll look for him.” 

She nods lightly. 

“Thank you. You’re amazing Henry, I’m glad he has you.” 

Henry just gifts her a little smile. 

“Thank you for telling me”, he says, before he goes in the direction she pointed in. 

He tries calling Ted but Ted doesn’t pick up. 

He doesn’t find Ted, but he finds Charlotte, Bill, Emma and Paul. 

“Hey! Henry’s back!”, Paul says joyfully. 

“Where were you? Did you fall in the goddamn toilet?”, Emma asks. 

“Have you guys seen Ted?” 

“Ugh”, Emma makes quietly and shakes her head. 

“No”, Paul admits and Charlotte and Bill shake their heads as well. 

“Okay”, Henry says, before he just leaves again. 

After about five minutes of aimlessly walking around, he’s stopped by Dean. 

“Hey Henry, can I talk to you?”, he asks, grabbing Henrys arm so he can’t just leave. 

“I’m kind of in a hurry”, Henry says. 

“I just want to warn you about Ted.” 

Oh here it goes. Of course. 

Henry tries not to roll his eyes, he’s not sure if he succeeded. 

“Warn me?” 

“I had sex with him. I didn’t know he has a boyfriend!” 

“Oh.” 

“It was a one night stand. About three weeks ago. I just thought you should know.” 

“Okay, thank you for telling me, that was very considerate.” 

“Why aren’t you freaking out? He cheated on you!” 

“I mean..-“ 

“Aren’t you going to leave him?” 

“I don’t know. No?” 

“What the hell is wrong with you? He’s not gonna _change_.” 

“Dean it’s really nice that you’re telling me all this and that you care, but that’s my business.” 

“But he _cheated_!” 

“No.” 

“No?” 

“You know, our relationship is kinda open.” Henry just wants this conversation to end. 

“Oh. It is?” 

“Yeah.” 

“So you knew?” 

“I didn’t know about you particularly, but I know that he’s seeing others.” 

“You too?” 

“Sure.” 

“Oh okay.” 

“But still, thank you for telling me.” 

“You’re welcome I guess.” Dean finally lets go of Henrys arm now. 

“I have to go”, Henry says, pointing in a random direction. 

“Wait.” 

“What is it?” 

“So you guys are open?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Would it be weird if I asked for your number?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh.” 

“It’s just.. I have to go.” 

“I mean, you’re really handsome.” 

“Thanks. ..but no. Sorry.” 

“Okay.” 

“Have you seen Ted by chance?” 

“I’m pretty sure I saw him walk into that forest”, Dean says, pointing at the nearby dark forest. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Pretty much.” 

“Okay, thank you.” 

Henry turns away to follow Ted. 

“Are you going in there?”, Dean asks. 

“Yes?” 

“Do you want me to come?” 

Henry shakes his head. If he finds Ted in there, he probably won’t be keen on a one night stand being there too. 

“But thank you”, Henry adds.

“Okay”, Dean gives in, still scanning him with his worried gaze. 

“If I’m not back in two hours, I’m probably dead”, Henry says, turning around to the woods now. 

“Okay”, Dean just answers. 


	19. Into The Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry follows Ted  
into the woods  
and down the dell,  
the path is straight,  
i know it well.  
into the woods,  
and who can tell  
what's waiting on the journey?

It‘s terribly dark in that forest. 

At least there‘s a path for orientation. 

Ted wouldn‘t just walk straight into the bushes, would he? He probably followed the path. 

It‘s quiet and whenever Henry hears some kind of crack somewhere, he flinches. 

“Ted?”, he whispers, frightened now. 

He keeps walking, pretty sure that someone’s gonna murder him soon but fighting through it. 

“Ted?” 

The path splits now and Henry goes the one leading down to the lake, because at least it will be lighter there. 

If Ted’s not there, he will probably just go back. 

The forest is big, he could be anywhere. Maybe he just went back to their room. 

Henry goes further until he reaches a treeless spot, leading into the water. There’s a small dock as well. 

And Ted, sitting on it. 

Thank god. 

His legs are tangling over the edge of the dock and he crossed his arms. His gaze is fixed on the water.

The closer Henry gets, the clearer he can see Ted shaking. 

He‘s crying. Henry has never seen Ted cry like that. For a second, he‘s completely overwhelmed. 

He forces himself to keep walking. 

When he steps on the dock, it creaks. 

Ted looks up. His gaze hits Henrys and then he immediately looks away again and runs his hands over his cheeks, to try and hide the tears, maybe. 

“It‘s okay. Cry as much as you need to”, Henry says. 

Ted shrugs and looks up again. He dried his tears but his whole face shows the pain in his heart. He looks miserable, devastated even. 

“She has a new boyfriend”, he whispers, his voice breaking, just like his heart did. 

“Yeah.” 

Ted doesn’t say anything else, so Henry steps closer to him and sits down next to him, letting his legs tangle over the water as well. 

“Sorry I just left. I don’t like to cry in front of people”, Ted mumbles after a while. 

“Do you want me to leave?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” 

They’re quiet for a while, both of them are just staring at the water. 

Ted calmed down a little and is just mostly crying silently. There’s a quiet sob every now and then, but he seems to hold it together. 

Henry sits and contemplates whether or not he should hug Ted. Maybe he needs a hug. 

Henry eventually decides to put an arm around Ted. He immediately sinks against Henry, so Henry wraps both arms around him, pulling him in a sideways embrace. 

Ted slowly sneaks his arms around Henrys waist, sinking further against his chest now and burying his face in Henrys neck. 

He quietly starts to sob again. 

“Just cry it out”, Henry whispers, “I’m right here, I’ve got you.” 

He can feel Teds fingers get a grip of his jacket, grasping it, maybe he’s looking for comfort. 

Henry doesn’t mind, he simply pulls Ted even closer, when he finally gives in to the pain, shaking under his sobs. 

Henry lets his hand wander over Teds back and up into his hair, in an attempt to comfort him. 

It takes about ten minutes until Ted stops to shake. He still keeps leaning in Henrys arms, calmly crying now. 

Henry hesitantly turns his head to Teds, resting his nose against his hair and pressing a soft kiss on Teds forehead. 

He sees Ted smile lightly and is kind of relieved by it. 

“Better?”, he asks. 

“Thank you”, Ted mumbles. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Okay, well you can if you want to.” 

Ted pushes himself away from Henry, sitting up now. 

“I thought we were going to get back together after college or something. I was hoping.. I.. How fucking stupid was that?” 

“It’s not stupid.” 

“I love her so much.” 

Henry nods lightly and reaches for Teds hand, gently caressing the back of it to calm him down.

Ted sobs quietly, pressing his free hand on his mouth almost immediately. 

“It’s okay”, Henry says, softly, “of course you love her. You have been with her for 3 years, you can’t just expect your heart to move on immediately.” 

“I don‘t want to feel anything anymore. I wanna be numb.” 

“No”, Henry whispers. 

“Why is this so brutal? It fucking hurts.” 

“It’s gonna get better.” 

“It doesn’t feel like it. I wish I could just rip my heart out and live without it.”

“Then you wouldn’t be able to love anymore. Also your whole body would shut down. You can’t live without a heart.” 

Ted chuckles. 

“Fucking nerd.” 

Henry smiles, still caressing Teds hand. 

“Maybe it’s for the better if I never love again”, Ted mumbles after a while. 

“Seems pretty bland.” 

“There are better things than love.” 

“I guess. But what about platonic love? Would it include that?”

“Yeah, friends leave too. Everybody does.” 

“You can’t just keep everyone away.” 

“Wanna bet? Everybody is miles away from me.” 

“That’s not true.” 

“It is. And it’s my fault because I kind of want them to. ..Except for you. You’re right here, for some goddamn reason. But who knows for how long?” 

“I won’t leave.” 

“Don’t promise stuff you can’t keep.” 

“No, I’m gonna promise.” 

“You’re stupid then.” 

“I don’t care. I’m here.” 

“You’re gonna move on. Like Paul did. Or Bri.” 

“I won’t.” 

Ted looks up. 

“Do you know why she’s here? With her new boyfriend?” 

“No.” 

“So he can meet her fucking parents. I bet her dad will love him.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Yeah he will. Finally someone worthy for his perfect daughter.” 

“Ted you’re amazing.” 

“Have you seen that guy?” 

“No.” 

“Shit. He’s gorgeous.” 

“So are you.” 

Ted chuckles and sobs. 

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous.” 

“I’m not kidding.” 

“No one’s here. You don’t have to pretend to be in love with me. No tiramisu.” 

“I really mean this.” 

Ted looks at Henry for a moment, before he interlaces their fingers and lets his head sink on Henrys shoulder. 

Henry rests his head against Teds. 

“I told her we’re dating, sorry“, Ted mumbles after a while. 

“It’s okay. I mean I got really confused for a second, you could have just said tiramisu.”

Ted chuckles between two sobs. He nods. 

“Sorry. ..It’s just that you’re really fucking gorgeous and I wanted to brag.” 

Henry blushes, at a complete loss of words now. 

“She asked you about it?”, Ted then asks. 

“She asked me to help her look for you after you left. She was worried.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“Thank you for looking for me.” 

“Of course I am.” 

“Henry?”

“Yeah?” 

“Are we friends?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Okay.” 

“Do you want us to be?” 

Ted shrugs lightly. 

“You’re the best person in my life right now”, he mumbles. 

Henry swallows. Ted is so much more broken than he shows. It keeps overwhelming Henry. 

“We can be friends”, Henry says, squeezing Teds hand lightly. 

“Okay. ..I’d love that.” 

“‘Kay, friends then.” 

Ted nods, before he nestles closer to Henry. 

Henry turns his head slightly to Teds and Ted looks up at the same time. 

And suddenly they’re close on pure coincidence. Really close too. 

Henry just kind of stares in Teds eyes, unsure of what to do, and Ted stares back. 

Are they going to kiss? 

No, of course not, that would be ridiculous. This is not a cheesy movie.

Also Ted is a wreck. He probably can’t even think straight. 

He’s broken and hurt. 

Henry already learned that Ted impulsively does stupid stuff when he’s sad. 

Like sleep with Dean. 

Kissing Henry won’t be one of those stupid things. Henry doesn’t want him to do something that he’s going to regret. 

Henry backs away a little, looking at Teds lips for a second on accident. 

Ted raises an eyebrow and opens his mouth as if to say something. 

“Ted?” 

Oh thank god, Henry thinks. Because whatever Ted was going to say, it would have been embarrassing for Henry. 

Ted turned around, so Henry does the same, looking for the source of the voice. 

There‘s Brianna, at the beginning of the dock, still standing on the land. 

A few feet behind her is a very handsome guy. Probably Finley, her new boyfriend. It has to be him. 

“What?”, Ted asks. 

“Are you okay?” 

Ted scoffs quietly, only loud enough for Henry to hear. 

“Of course”, he lies. 

“I’m really sorry for how everything happened.” 

Ted let’s go of Henrys hand and gets up now, so Henry copies him. 

He stays behind, when Ted steps closer to Brianna, because he wants to give them some space. 

“You’re sorry?”, Ted asks. 

Brianna nods, her expression sad. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wanted to tell you about Finley, I just didn’t want to break your heart again, so I thought I’d give you some more time to heal.” 

“You did nothing wrong”, Ted says and Henry is almost surprised at the calmness in his voice. 

“Well you did come here to cry, didn’t you?”, she asks. 

“I mean ..maybe.” 

She nods lightly. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tell you like that.” 

“It’s okay.” 

Ted really seems to mean that. Maybe he does. 

He reaches for Henry, holding his open hand towards him and Henry takes a moment to realise that he’s supposed to take it. 

He does, stepping closer to Ted now and following him, when Ted gets closer to Brianna. 

“I love you Bri, but please stop calling me. It hurts to hear your voice. Maybe someday we can be friends, but not right now.” 

Brianna nods lightly, tears formed in her eyes. 

“Okay”, she says. 

“You look great”, Ted keeps going, “I’m glad that you’re happy. I wish you every happiness.” 

She chuckles sadly, nodding. 

“I wish that for you as well.” 

Ted nods. “Goodbye”, he then says. 

“Bye Ted”, she whispers. 

Ted gently tugs on Henrys hand, pulling him past her. 

He stops again, in front of Finley. 

“You seem like a good guy Jeremy”, Ted says, “don’t hurt her.” 

“It’s Finley”, Finley says. 

“Sorry.” 

Then Ted leaves, pulling Henry closer as soon as they made it out of the woods and their path is wide enough for them to walk next to each other. 

Henry looks at Ted and sees that the tears came again. 

“You did great”, Henry mumbles. 

Ted shrugs. 

“She would have beaten herself up forever if she knew that she broke me.” 

“Did she?” 

“I don’t know. I think I’ll be okay eventually, it just doesn’t feel like it right now.” 

“You will be.” 

“What do we do now?” 

“We could go back to our room and order pizza or something”, Henry suggests. 

“Do you think they deliver to dorm rooms?” 

“I don’t know. We could also just go for pizza.” 

“Are you asking me on a date?” 

Ted wiggles his eyebrows and Henry chuckles. 

“You know I’m not. Are you hungry?” 

“So hungry. Crying is exhausting.” 

“Pizza? Or something else?” 

“Pizza sounds great.” 

“Okay.” 

“Luigi’s?” 

“I’m kind of banned there.” 

“You’re what?” Ted laughs. 

“I’m banned okay?” 

“What did you do?” 

“I got into a fight with a waiter.” 

“Why?” 

“The waiter was Sam.” 

“Oh, I get it.” 

“He made a gross comment about Frankie.” 

“I support you darling.” 

“Thanks.” 

“I just really didn’t expect that kinda stuff from you.” 

“Me neither. It kind of just happened.” 

“An accident huh?” 

“Yeah, just an accident.” 

Ted chuckles. 

“If I beat Mason up at some point, consider it an accident too. My hand slipped.” 

Henry laughs. 

“Ted please don’t. Be careful.” 

“He ran into my knife”, Ted says, “He ran into my knife ten times.” 

Henry looks up now, staring at Ted in awe. 

“Did you just..”, he whispers. 

“I already regret it.” 

“Oh my god, marry me.” 

“No.” 

“You quoted the Cell Block Tango.” 

“I didn’t mean to affect your gay theatre heart like that.”

“I’m not even offended by that. I love you.” 

Ted laughs. 

“Hey do you wanna watch Chicago later?”, Henry keeps going. 

“No, I’m not into musicals.” 

“You totally are. I just discovered your deepest darkest secret.” 

“Some musicals are kinda alright, okay?” 

“Just admit it Ted. It’s just me here, I don’t judge you.” 

“Darling..” 

“You like musicals.” 

“Okay.” 

“Yes?” 

“Yeah I do. And if you tell anyone, you’re gonna run into my knife too.” 

“I won’t.” Henry chuckles happily and Ted lightly shakes his head, smiling now. 

“What is your favourite?”, Henry keeps asking. 

“I’m not answering this.” 

“Is it Chicago?” 

“No.” 

“What is it?” 

“You’re gonna use this against me some day.” 

“I won’t.” 

“What is _your_ favourite?” 

Henry knows that Ted is probably just trying to distract, but he’s not gonna pass an opportunity to gush about his favourite musicals. 

So he decides to play along and answer by giving more than one answer because how is he supposed to choose? 

And Ted actually listens to him, nodding and agreeing or disagreeing and adding points. 

Henry is glad that they’re friends. 


	20. A Stupid Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry’s friends are concerned about him.

“Henry! Are you okay?”, Charlotte asks, coming towards him immediately when Henry joins the group in front Beanies. 

Henry nods. 

Something seems off.

They go for coffee every saturday, it became a tradition over the half past year. 

But why didn’t they go inside yet? 

Usually they just go inside and wait there. Today all of them are huddling outside. 

“Where were you yesterday?”, Emma asks. 

“I was with Ted”, Henry says. 

“Henry we were fucking worried!” She sounds mad. God, she _is_ mad. 

“Why?” 

“Because you just went to the bathroom and then you came back after like twenty minutes just to disappear again and we tried to call you but you didn’t fucking answer.” 

“I’m okay.” 

She scoffs. “We see that now.”

“I’m sorry”, Henry says, as he realises how visibly upset all of them are. 

“Henry you can’t just disappear like that. We thought Mason had kidnapped you or some shit.” 

There it is again. Them just being so overly worried. 

Henry hates this. 

They treat him like he’s weak. He’s not. 

“I- I’m not a child. I can look after myself.” He stumbles over his words now, unsure because all of this just came out of nowhere. Or did it?

He didn’t even think about telling them, when he left with Ted. 

They came together and they leave together, is that it? 

Maybe they have the right to be mad.

“You could have at least said something.” 

“I’m sorry, Ted needed me”, Henry tries to explain. 

“Is Ted your fucking boyfriend now?”, Emma keeps going. 

Henry sees Paul grabbing her hand, maybe to calm her down. 

She’s angry. 

But so is Henry. 

Why does she hate Ted so much? Why does she always have to be so overly mean? 

“He’s my friend”, Henry says.

“And suddenly we don’t matter anymore?” 

“You don’t even know what happened yesterday! You don’t know anything!” 

“Well why don’t you tell us?” 

“I can’t.” Ted wouldn’t want him to. 

“Of fucking course.” 

“You’re not being fair.” 

“I’m not fair?” 

“Em, hey”, Paul mumbles now, carefully pulling her back a little. 

Then he looks at Henry. “What Emma is trying to say is that we were looking for you. It would have been great if you had just texted that you’re fine.” 

“I’m sorry okay? I forgot. But you guys keep treating me like a stupid child and that drives me mad.” 

“I bet Ted and Henry are banging, that’s why he’s getting so defensive”, Emma mumbles.

“Are you serious?”, Henry asks. 

“Just admit that you’re dating him!” 

“I’m not!” 

“Ted calls him ‘darling’”, Charlotte quietly chimes in. 

Henry looks at her, feeling betrayed. 

“He calls everybody that!”

“He doesn’t”, Paul says. 

“How would you know?”, Henry hits back, “You haven’t talked to him in three years, have you?” 

Paul hesitates, because Henry is right. 

“Why are all of you so mean to him? What is wrong with you?” 

“Why are you so nice to him?”, Emma asks. 

“Because he’s a great guy and my friend and I like him and he doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit.” 

“He probably told you we’re the bad guys”, Emma says. 

“He told me what happened and I’m starting to believe that maybe you are.” 

Paul doesn’t say anything, he’s just staring at the floor and avoiding everybody’s gazes. 

“Paul?”, Henry asks. 

Paul looks up now. 

“What?” 

“You started to avoid him, didn’t you?” 

“He could have sat with us and he didn’t!” 

“Why didn’t he?” 

“He thought he’s better than us”, Emma says. 

Henry scoffs. “No”, he says, “Because you avoided him and treated him like shit, right Paul?” 

Paul doesn’t answer, he’s just staring at the floor now. 

“I can’t believe you guys. You always pretend to be so nice and then you bully people away.” 

Now all of them are quiet. Bill and Charlotte have been quiet for most of the time anyway and Henry almost feels bad, blaming them too. 

“Paul has it ever occurred to you to apologise to Ted?” 

Paul opens his mouth, then he lightly shakes his head. 

“To talk to him and make sure he’s okay?” 

Paul shakes his head again. 

“He fucking needed you!”, Henry says, letting his gaze wander over all of them. Charlotte is holding on to Bills arm and she has tears in her eyes. Emma looks mostly angry and confused. 

Paul blushed. He looks miserable. 

“I don’t even know if I wanna be friends with you anymore”, Henry mumbles, taking a few steps back. 

“Go to Ted, why don’t you?”, Emma says quietly. 

“Oh, I will.” Henry turns away now and just leaves them standing there. 

He starts to cry after walking about ten feet and he’s glad no one followed him, because he doesn’t want them to see. 

He’s really mad at them. Especially Emma and Paul.

But also, he loves them a lot and he actually didn’t plan on loosing them any time soon. 

He never really lost friends like that. He never really had that many friends. He got along with Frankies friends and that was okay, but they were never as close and he hasn‘t seen them since Highschool ended. 

This makes him feel like shit. 

He doesn‘t want to loose them. 

—

Ted is still in bed when Henry gets back. 

Henry thought he did a good job drying his tears and hiding that he cried but apparently not. 

Ted frowns when he sees him and sits up. 

“What happened?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Did Mason do something?” 

Henry shakes his head. 

“I’m fine, you don’t need to worry”, he mumbles and Ted nods lightly. 

“Okay”, he whispers, letting his worried gaze rest on Henry nonetheless. 

“I just had a stupid fight with the others and now they’re mad at me and I’m mad at them. It’s childish, maybe. It’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not. You clearly care.” 

“Of course I care!” 

Ted opens his arms, waving for Henry to come closer. 

“Hug?” 

Henry nods and slips out of his shoes and his jacket before he sits down next to Ted and lets himself rest in the hug. 

They sit like that for a while. Until Ted sinks back into his pillow, pulling Henry along. 

Henry smiles, his face now against Teds chest. 

“I literally just woke up okay?”, Ted quietly defends himself before he pulls him closer. 

Henry helps by pushing himself up a little, before settling back against Ted, more comfortable now. 

“People can be stupid. But I bet they’ll come back.” 

“You’re optimistic. That’s new.” 

“I’m realistic. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with you?” 

“Sappy.” 

Ted chuckles. 

Henry smiles and pulls himself closer now. 

“Someone’s in the mood to cuddle”, Ted says, amused. 

“This feels nice, okay?” 

Henry is probably just really touch starved. 

“I hate to say this, but you seem touch-starved.” 

“I hate to say this, but maybe I am.” 

Ted just wraps his arms closer around Henry. 

“Thanks”, Henry whispers. 

He can hear Ted chuckle quietly and smiles now. 

He closes his eyes, feeling tired again. He did not have a coffee after all. That‘s probably the worst thing about the fight. (No it‘s not). 

“Are you gonna fall asleep?”, Ted asks.

“Maybe”, Henry whispers. 

“‘Kay, good night.” 

“See you.” 

Henry does fall asleep after that. 

— 

Ted’s gone when Henry wakes up, but he can hear the shower running, so that’s probably Ted, showering. 

It would be weird if it wasn’t Ted because that would mean that someone broke into their room just to take a shower. 

Henry rolls on his back and stares at the ceiling. He‘s never seen the room from the perspective of Teds bed. 

It‘s not that different, it‘s just weird that Henry is laying in Teds bed. 

He never thought he‘d end up there. 

At least he didn‘t end up there in a sexual way. 

But he did fall asleep in Teds arms and that‘s kind of weird and embarrassing. 

They‘re officially friends now, but Henry still feels like he overstepped some kind of boundary. Or maybe he‘s just overreacting, because he has never slept in someone else’s bed before (except for his parents and Frankies, but those clearly don‘t count). 

Why does Henry think about this so much? It doesn’t even matter, it’s _fine_, they’re friends. 

The bathroom door clicks open and Ted steps out, still drying his hair with a towel. He’s just wearing jeans and is otherwise barefoot and shirtless and Henry only realises that after shamelessly staring at Ted for a few seconds.

“Well looks like someone woke up”, Ted says. 

“How long was I gone?”, Henry asks, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. 

Ted chuckles. “That sounds like you got knocked out.” 

“That’s kind of true. I got knocked out by a lack of caffeine.” 

“You’re so dramatic. You slept for like half an hour.” 

“Okay.” 

“Wanna get caffeine?” 

“Please yes.” 

“Okay, give me one minute”, Ted says, before going to his closet to get properly dressed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this chapter, I realised that most colleges have shared bathrooms with like a lot of sinks and toilets and showers. Not every dorm room has their own bathroom with a shower.
> 
> I decided that we’re just going to ignore that fact. Henry’s college is a very fancy college and they have their own bathrooms I don’t care if that doesn’t make sense, I clearly didn’t do any research for this fanfiction


	21. Dyin‘ Ain‘t So Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mason is a goddamn stalker and shit goes down. 
> 
> I dunno, it was time for some angst I‘m afraid. Read the TW plsss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- blood  
\- concussion  
\- choking  
\- abuse  
\- to punch and to be punched  
\- someone gets kicked in the balls  
\- Mason is there  
\- a Fight (kinda?)  
\- Death comes dangerously close
> 
> Srsly guys, this is a little more brutal than the other chapters, so don‘t read it if any of the things above are a trigger for you, you‘ll still get the storyline if you just read the future chapters (things will be mentioned again, but not as brutally)

Henry hasn’t spoken to the others in two weeks. 

Emma even sat a few seats further away from Henry in biology and did her best ignoring him. 

It hurts, being ignored. 

But he’s still mad and also pretty sure that it’s their turn to apologise, not his. 

— 

Henry goes for the public restroom after biology. 

He’s lost in thought, just staring at the mirror while drying his hands, when a silhouette appears behind him. 

He doesn’t even realise who it is right away, but it immediately triggers his fight or flight response. 

“Hey pretty-“, Mason stops and groans when Henry slams his elbow backwards on pure reflex and hits him in the ribs. 

Henry turns around, taking a few steps back. 

“What the actual fuck?”, Mason asks. 

Henry doesn’t answer, he just goes for the door, reaching for the handle. 

It opens for a few centimetres, before it’s slammed shut again, by a hand reaching over Henrys shoulder. 

Henry just stares at it in shock, as it slowly dawns on him what is happening here. 

Masons hand is suddenly on his shoulder and Henry quickly turns around, slapping it away. 

“What do you want from me?” 

“I just wanna talk to you.” 

“Then take a step back and don’t touch me.” 

“If I take a step back, you’ll run away again.” 

Henry raises an eyebrow, when the chills run down his spine. That doesn’t sound possessive at all. Except it does. 

And it creeps him out, making his breath hitch and his heartbeat speed up. 

“Can you please take a step back?”, Henry asks again. He works hard on keeping his voice steady, but he fails. 

He’s going to pass out. His heart is beating too fast, he’s going to pass out from the fear. 

“Are you scared of me?”, Mason asks. 

“No”, Henry lies. 

Mason smiles. “Yes you are. Why?” 

Does this amuse him? Does he like scaring people? Does he enjoy this? 

“Why?”, Henry repeats quietly,  “You’re sexually and verbally harassing me.” 

Mason laughs. “Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“Let me go.” 

Henry tries to slide past Mason inside the room, because everything is better than being pressed up against a door. 

“No no no, you stay.” Mason pulls him back and keeps his forearm pressed against Henrys chest with a force that makes it hard to breath for Henry. 

“Please”, Henry whispers now, tears forming in his eyes. 

“No.” 

He steps closer and as it slowly dawns on Henry that no one is going to come and save him, he decides to fight.

He pushes his knee forward, between Masons legs, obviously surprising him. A smile forms on his lips. 

“I knew you’re actually into this”, he mumbles, “you fucking-“ 

He stops talking and instead gasps for air after Henry moved his knee up as quick as possible. 

Henry pushes him away and Mason stumbles backwards, holding his crotch. 

Henry goes for the door again, but is suddenly jerked back. He looses balance and falls, hitting his head on something hard, before he finds himself on the floor. He looks up to see the sink, thinking that it was probably there that he hit his head. 

His vision goes blurry when the headache sets in. 

“Shit”, he hears Mason whisper. 

Mason leans over him now, his face only a blurred silhouette. 

“Hey?” 

Henry doesn’t answer right away. 

Is this how he’s going to die? Maybe. Tears form in his eyes when he thinks about his family on his funeral. What if Mason hides his body? What if they never find his corpse? 

“If I survive this, I’ll go to the police, you sick fucking asshole”, he whispers. 

He gets a punch in the face for that. A numbing pain shoots through his nose and it doesn’t take long for the blood to drip out of his nose and over his lips. 

“Don’t you dare”, Mason hisses, “I did nothing wrong! This is your fault, you fucking slipped.” 

“No”, Henry just utters. 

“Just stay quiet. You’re getting on my nerves.” 

For some reason, Henry only now gets the idea to scream for help. Why didn’t he think of that earlier? 

“Help!”, he shouts, quieter that he wanted to, because his voice is leaving him. Why is no one using the bathroom right now anyway? 

Mason punches him in the face again. 

“Shut the fuck up!” 

Then his fingers wrap around Henrys throat. Henry struggles to push him away, while he fights for air to fill his lungs again. 

It feels like an eternity until Mason finally let’s go and Henry gasps, coughing too. 

“Are you gonna be quiet now?” 

Henry can’t answer, because he’s still trying to breath properly, but apparently that’s enough for Mason. 

Mason gets on his knees now, pulling Henry up. 

“Get up”, he says. “I don’t wanna stay here.” 

For some reason Henry remembers John Mulaney in that particular moment. He remembers how he said the chances of getting back from a secondary location are slim to none. 

And then Henry realises that this actually might be how he’s going to die. 

Mason pulls Henry over to the door. 

Henry doesn’t fight it, but he also doesn’t help, just limply hanging in Masons grip at this point. 

He tries to accept his fate. 

This is it. 

He’s never going to see his family again. He’s never going to see the kitten his parents planned to adopt. 

He’s never going to have an actual first kiss. He’s never going to fall in love. 

“Hey!” 

Mason lets go off Henry and Henry falls rather roughly on the floor, groaning quietly when his temple hits the hard floor and pain shoots through his head once again. 

“He slipped!”, Mason says, “I was just trying to get him somewhere safe.” 

“I don’t believe a fucking word young man!” 

“Henry!” 

Someone leans over him, grabbing his face now. He recognizes that voice. 

He missed that voice. 

It’s Bills voice. 

“You stay here!” That sounds like Henrys biology professor. 

“I didn’t do anything!”, Mason protests. 

“Henry? Please look at me”, Bill goes on. 

Henry squeezes his eyes shut and opens them, while he tries to gain a sharp vision. 

He feels a hand on his temple. 

“You’re bleeding.”

Henry slowly realises that his hair feels kind of sticky. So hitting that sink probably did that. 

“Can you sit up?” 

“I don’t know”, Henry whispers. 

“I’ll help you.” 

He can feel Bill gently shove one of his hands under his head, one under his back. 

Bill pulls him up and Henrys body falls powerlessly against Bills. 

He puts his head down on Bills shoulder, closing his eyes again, when the familiar smell hits him. 

“Thank you”, he whispers, while his eyes begin to leak tears. A quiet sob escapes his throat. Maybe he’s not going to die. 

“Try and stay awake okay?”, Bill just says, “I think you hit your head. Did you?” 

Henry nods. “On the sink.” 

“Hard?” 

Henry nods again. “It feels like a swarm of bees is in there.” 

“We should probably take you to the hospital.” 

“No, I’m gonna be okay. I’m pretty sure this is nothing more than a slight concussion.” 

“You’re pretty sure? You study biology not medicine, please let me get you professional help.” 

Henry pushes himself away from Bill, so that he can look at him, still holding on to his shoulders for balance. 

“Please just bring me to my room.” 

“Henry-“ 

“Please.” 

“A concussion is not something that should be taken lightly”, someone else says now. His biology professor, as it turns out as soon as he moves into Henrys field of vision. 

“I don’t want to go to the hospital”, Henry protests. 

He doesn’t want this to be serious. He doesn’t want to be actually hurt enough to have to go to the hospital. He doesn’t want to admit that he nearly died. 

“Let’s get you to the nurse first, shall we? She’ll know if the hospital is necessary”, his professor says. 

“‘Kay”, Henry quietly gives in. 

Bill and the Professor heave Henry up, walking him outside. 

“Where’s Mason?”, Henry mumbles, afraid that he got away. 

“Two of my colleagues are bringing him somewhere else. They’re going to call the police as well.” 

People are staring, when Henry stumbles through the corridor like this, leaning on Bill and the Professor.

His face and is shirt feels sticky with blood. He must look horrible. 

“Here we are”, the Professor says, knocking on a wooden door.

“Yes?”, a female voice says. 

Bill opens the door and they get Henry inside. 

Henry sees the shocked look on the nurses face, sees how her hand shoots up, covering her mouth as she gasps. 

“Oh you poor boy”, she whispers, getting up from her chair now and walking around her desk towards them. 

“Professor Reid what happened?”, she asks. 

“We’re not exactly sure, but he hit his head on a sink.”

“And I got punched in the face twice”, Henry mumbles. 

“Did someone choke you?”, the nurse asks, her eyes on Henrys neck. 

Henry nods. 

“Amy do you think we should take him to the hospital? He said he doesn’t want to.” 

“Let me take a look, Harris”, the nurse says, coming closer to Henry. “Sit down sweetheart, will you?” 

Henry nods and Bill leads him to a chair. 

Henry sits down, relieved to not have to stand anymore. Standing was exhausting. 

“Okay, how many fingers am I showing you?“ she holds up three fingers in front of him.

“Three”, Henry says. 

“Can you tell me who’s president?” 

“Ugh fuck”, Henry groans when he remembers. “..Trump.” 

“Okay, good. Don’t get startled, I’m gonna flash a light in your eyes.” 

“‘Kay.” 

She pulls a small flashlight out of her pocket, before gently reaching for Henrys chin, holding him still while repeatedly shining the light into each of his eyes. 

“Do you have a headache?” 

Henry nods. 

“Do you feel groggy? Maybe a little queasy?”

“A little.” It got better when he sat down. 

“Okay“, she mumbles, still watching Henry carefully, “To me it looks like a light concussion.” 

“Okay.” 

“I’d still like a second opinion, just to be sure. A doctors opinion.” 

“No.” 

“You don’t have to go to a hospital. Lucky for you, my wife is picking me up in five minutes and she’s a doctor. Would you be okay with her taking a look at you?” 

Henry gives in and nods. 

This is better than having to go to the hospital. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay, good. Your clothes are all bloody, do you want to get changed?” 

Henry nods. He’d love to. 

“I can get him stuff”, Bill volunteers. 

“Do you know each other?” 

Bill and Henry nod. 

“Wait”, Henry mumbles, fumbling out his keys and giving them to Bill. “Thank you.” 

“No problem, man.” 

Bill leaves and then it’s quiet.

“Can you explain what happened?”, Professor Reid asks after a while. 

Henry opens his mouth but his throat is dry. He can’t talk about it. It would just make it realer. And he’s scared. 

He closes his mouth, shaking his head. 

“That’s okay”, the nurse says, “you don’t have to.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

They sit there in silence for a while until the nurse speaks up again. 

“Come on, let’s get that blood off you”, she says, going over to the small sink to wet a paper towel. 

“Is it okay if I do it or do you want to do it on your own?”, she asks. 

“I want to do it”, Henry says. 

She’s really nice, but right now he’s not particularly keen on being touched by strangers. 

“Okay, here you go. I have a mirror over there.” She hands him the paper towel and points at the nearby mirror. 

“Okay.” Henry says, as he gets up. 

He makes it over to the mirror and nearly faints when he sees himself. 

He looks like Carrie after she got a pig-blood shower at prom. Okay, maybe not that bad. 

His hand is shaking when he starts to wipe the blood off his lips and nose. 

Then the door bangs open and he flinches, turning around. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be another chapter later today, because it kind of goes together with this one (I had to split them) so look out for that 
> 
> ALSO with this chapter i broke the word count the Highschool Au has, this is officially my longest fic now, I dunno I just thought that's kinda weird but cool


	22. Ted Is Willing To Commit Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted is very worried and also angry, also other stuff happens, I don’t know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- blood  
\- bruises (from choking)  
\- aftermath of violence  
\- concussion

(Then the door bangs open and he flinches, turning around.)

There Ted is, a worried look on his face. Behind him is Bill, looking guilty while holding a pullover. 

“Henry”, Ted mumbles, hurrying over to him. “Jesus fucking Christ.” 

Henry can see tears in his eyes. He almost seems to be about to cry. 

“I had to tell him”, Bill explains apologetically, still in the doorway. 

Ted reaches for Henrys face now, his hands shaking. 

“What did he do? What did he do to you? I will fucking kill him.” 

“I-“ 

Ted turns around to the others now. 

“Where is he?” 

“My colleagues are calling the police. They brought him somewhere else”, Professor Reid says. 

“He deserves to die.” 

“Ted”, Henry whispers softly, not wanting him to have to go to prison too.

Ted turns back around. 

There’s anger in his expression. Anger and pity and grief. A tear runs over his cheek now and it makes Henrys heart skip a beat. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt anymore”, he says. 

Henry nods lightly, before he hugs Ted. Partly to calm Ted down, but mostly because he himself needs that comfort. 

“It looks worse than it is. I’m just having a nosebleed”, Henry tries to calm him down. 

Ted lightly shakes his head. 

“You look horrible”, he mumbles, before he pulls away again. 

“Do you need help with the blood?”, he asks, pointing at the paper towel in Henrys hand. 

Henry just hands it to him. 

Ted holds his chin steady as he starts to gently wipe the blood off Henrys face. 

“The nosebleed?”, he asks, “did he hit you?”

Henry nods. 

“It’s not broken, is it?” Ted looks at the nurse. She shakes her head. 

Ted looks at Henry again. 

“Don’t worry dear, you’ll stay handsome”, he whispers. 

“Jesus Ted.” Henry smiles lightly, because Ted is still Ted and he still treats him the same, even while he’s freaking out. 

Ted continues to wipe the blood off Henrys face and neck, looking adorably concentrated while doing it. 

“Feel better?”, he quietly asks, when he‘s done. 

Henry nods. 

“Thank you”, he mumbles. 

“Did.. did he..?” Ted doesn’t even say it. Maybe he doesn’t dare. Henry knows for sure that he doesn’t dare think about it. 

“No”, Henry admits, “I don’t know if he wanted to. He followed me there, he kept me from leaving.” 

“He didn’t kiss you or..” 

_..go further_, Henry thinks. He shakes his head. 

Henry would have rather died than having to experience that. 

God knows what would have happened if Bill and the Professor didn’t come. 

Bill comes next to them now, holding the sweater towards Henry. 

“This is your favourite, right?”, he asks. 

Henry nods. 

It really is. 

It’s the ugliest sweater he possesses but also the most comfortable and special one. 

It’s dark blue and it has an Audrey II badly sewed on. 

Frankie made it for him for Christmas. 

That means she bought the sweater and then sewed Audrey II on it. 

Henry was obsessed with Little Shop Of Horrors back then (he kind of still is) and also Frankie picked an XXL sized sweater so it would be way too big on Henry and that makes it so much more perfect and comfortable. 

It feels like home. 

Bill gives the sweater to Henry. 

“Thank you”, Henry says. 

He hesitates because he doesn’t really want to change in front of everybody. 

“Oh, you can change in that bathroom”, the nurse says, pointing at a white door. 

Henry didn’t even notice it until now.

“Okay”, he says, going over to the bathroom and closing the door behind himself. 

He fumbles his shirt off and looks down on his chest. 

It’s still a little sticky with blood, all of it just soaked through the shirt. 

Henry rolls off some toilet paper and wets it at the sink to clean his chest. 

Then he stops and stares at himself in the mirror for a while. 

He looks slightly better, now that the blood is gone. 

His temple looks swollen and his lip is slightly split open and his nose is still reddened, but other than that, he’s okay. 

His eyes drop to his neck, when he sees the blue-ish marks Masons fingers left there. He’s strong. And it’s terrifying. 

At least it’s not that vibrant. You can’t even see it, at first glance. It could also be weirdly shaped hickeys. How ironic. 

Henry quickly slips into the new pullover, welcoming the comfort it gives. 

“Is he gonna get suspended?”, he hears Bill ask outside. 

“I’m hoping for it”, Professor Reid says. “I’m also hoping for Henry to get a restraining order against him.” 

Henry washes his hands now, before he picks up his bloody T-Shirt, folding it so it contains the bloody parts. 

He opens the door and all eyes are on him again. 

“Hey Henry, my wife came”, the nurse says. A woman is standing next to her, about the same age.She gifts Henry a smile and Henry walks towards her, hesitant. 

“Hi Henry. I’m Laurel. You don’t want to go to the hospital?”, she asks carefully. 

Henry shakes his head. 

“Okay”, she quietly gives in, “Well, we can’t force you. May _I _take a look at you?” 

Henry nods. 

“Okay, sit down there.” 

— 

The nurse and her doctor wife sacrifice their lunch break in order to stay with Henry and keep an eye on him for the next hour. 

Henry feels bad about it, but whenever he tells them that they should go, that he’s going to be fine, they shake their heads. 

Professor Reid had to leave because he has another class, but he told Henry that he can always come to him, if he needs help. 

The police was there too, after they were with Mason for a while. They asked Henry some questions, but that was about it. 

Now Henry, Ted and Bill are just sitting next to each other in the nurses office, while the two women talk to each other in hushed voices. 

Laurel looks up after a while, watching Henry. 

“How are you feeling now?” 

“Still headache, less groggy”, Henry answers quietly. 

“Okay. Do you want to leave?” 

Henry nods. 

He just wants back to his room. 

“I usually don’t do this but this day has been rather unusual anyway”, she says. She pulls out a slip of paper, scribbling something down. 

“Yours too?”, she asks, looking at the nurse. The nurse nods.

She writes something else down, before pushing the note towards Henry. 

“My mobile is the top number and the other one is Amy’s, okay? You can leave now but please call immediately if you feel worse.” 

“Okay.” 

“You can always come here as well, of course”, Amy says. 

“Okay. Thank you ..for everything” Henry reaches for the note and folds it, shoving it into his pocket. 

He gets up and so do Bill and Ted. 

“Take it easy the next few days, will you? Give your body some rest. Don’t do sports or straining tasks.” 

Henry nods. 

“And not just your body, your brain as well. Go without reading too long for a while and screens aren’t particularly good either. No TV and no work on a computer, okay?” 

Henry nods again. This is going to be a really boring next few days. 

“How long?”, he asks. 

“A week at the most. But I’d like for you to come here every day anyway, so I can have an eye on you. Are you alright with that?” 

Henry nods. 

“Okay, you may go.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You two will look after him?”, the nurse asks, looking at Bill and Ted. 

They nod, before leading Henry outside. 

— 

Ted unlocks the door to their room while Bill still holds on to Henry. 

They get him inside and Henry sits down on his bed. 

“Are you hungry?”, Bill asks. 

“I’m okay”, Henry lies. Then his belly grumbles. 

“I’ll get you something”, Bill decides. 

“Okay”, Henry gives in. 

“Ted?”, Bill asks. 

“Yeah, sure”, Ted says. 

“Okay are you guys alright with Chinese takeout?” 

Henry nods. 

Ted nods too. “I can give you money”, he offers. 

Bill just shakes his head, waving him off. 

“I’ll be right back”, he says, leaving the room. 

Ted sits down next to Henry. 

Henry stares at his hands. He can see Ted look at him, in his peripheral vision, but he‘s too embarrassed to look back at him. 

“Henry?” 

“Hm?” 

“I can walk you wherever you want, okay? Just ask.” 

“I don’t want to need help”, Henry says quietly. 

“But it’s okay to need help. You helped me too, remember?” 

“Yeah, getting away from a one night stand”, Henry scoffs quietly. 

“And you were there at the bonfire.”

“I guess.”

“Henry you’re not weak if you ask for help. You’re strong. That takes balls.”

Henry just shrugs. He knows Ted is right but _still_. 

“And weakness is not a bad thing. It’s not like the world is going to end if you can’t do something on your own. No one can do that.” 

“I know. I’m just.. it’s so annoying. I don’t want to be scared anymore.” 

“Hey maybe we can get him suspended.” 

“I doubt it. Think about his future.” Henry says the last sentence in a mocking voice. 

“The only future I can see for him is behind bars. They literally caught him in the act.” 

“I wish he’d just be gone. Every time I see him, I panic.” 

“I know.” 

“He just.. I couldn’t even defend myself. I tried. I.. I hit him in the ribs and I tried to push him off, I even..” 

Henry sees Ted stare at him and looks at him now. Ted doesn’t look into Henrys eyes, his gaze sits lower, on Henrys neck. 

“What is..?” Ted frowns, lightly tilting his head now. 

His hand flies up to Henrys neck and his fingers gently brush Henrys skin and the bruises Mason left there. 

“I’m okay now”, Henry just says, because he doesn’t want Ted to feel bad for him. 

“He did this?” 

“Yeah”, Henry quietly admits. 

“He..?” Teds fingers wander around Henrys neck for a swift moment, maybe fitting his own hand on Masons mark. 

Henry just stares at Ted, unsure of what to say. 

“He tried to kill you”, Ted whispers after a while. 

“I don’t know. ..He wanted to shut me up.” 

“Shut you up”, Ted repeats, ripping his gaze off Henry and letting his hand sink. 

“Ted I’m safe now.” 

“You know, it keeps dawning on me what happened to you and it makes me so.. angry.” 

Ted presses his palms together, maybe in an attempt to get himself to not loose his temper. 

Henry reaches for Teds hand, pulling it into his. 

“I’m here”, he just says. 

Ted looks up again. 

“You almost weren’t.” 

“But I am.”

It’s quiet until Ted speaks up again.

“I’m sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t have freaked out like that.” 

“Your reaction was perfectly humane.” 

Ted smiles sadly. 

“I’m glad you’re still here. I love having you in my life”, he says. 

Henry nods lightly, before everything overwhelms him and the tears well up in his eyes, way too quick for him to react and blink them away. They just slip over his cheeks. 

Ted let’s go of Henrys hand and pulls him into a hug instead. Henry let’s himself rest against Teds chest, closing his eyes while he continues to cry. 

He’s not sure why he’s crying. 

Maybe because he nearly died.

Maybe because what Ted said was very sweet and Henry is really emotional in that particular moment anyway (because again, he nearly died).

Maybe it’s just because he too loves having Ted in his life.

God, he loves Ted.

Who would have thought?

If anyone had told Henry a few months ago that Ted would be his best friend and one of his favourite people now, he would have laughed at them. 

But here they are, hugging and crying. 

“My favourite musical is Hadestown”, Ted whispers after a while, “It makes me cry.” 

Henry smiles. “That’s not even embarrassing. It makes everyone cry.” 

“I also have a weak spot for Mean Girls.” 

Henry smiles now. “No.” 

“It’s true”, Ted says, “The soundtrack slaps. World Burn makes me feel like a bad bitch.” 

Henry chuckles against Teds chest between two sobs. 

“I never thought I’d ever hear something like that out of your mouth”, he says. 

“If you tell anyone, I will deny it.” 

“I won’t. Thank you for telling me.” Henry can’t stop smiling now. Ted really knows how to cheer him up. 

“Henry?”, Ted asks now. 

“Yeah?” 

“Please ask for help.” 

“Okay. I will.” 

They sit in silence after that. 

Except for whenever Ted says Henrys name to make sure he didn’t fall asleep. Or some variation of his name. Or a pet name. 

Then Bill gets back. He knocks on the door and Ted opens. 

Henry slips off his bed and sits on the floor and Bill and Ted sit down as well. 

Bill starts to unpack the paperback he brought. 

“I just brought a little of everything”, he explains. 

“Thank you”, Henry says. He doesn’t just mean the food, he means everything and he‘s pretty sure Bill knows that, when he looks up and gifts Henry a warm smile. 

— 

“I heard you shout for help. I didn’t know it was you I just.. I ran to get the Professor, because I thought if it’s serious, I can’t go in alone”, Bill explains. 

“Thank you”, Henry mumbles. 

It’s quiet after that. 

The boxes are already empty, lying in front of them on the floor. 

“Can I..”, Bill starts, quiet and hesitant, “I want to apologise.” 

“What for?” 

“The fight. I should have taken your side. I was on your side, actually.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“It all happened so quickly.” 

“I should have texted you guys.” 

“You forgot, it’s not that big of a deal. Emma just freaked out.” 

Henry shrugs lightly. 

“So you didn’t believe any of the stuff she said?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” 

“You know how long she thought me and Charlotte were secretly dating? It’s annoying, I get it.” 

“Yeah it is.” 

Bill looks at Ted now, who had just been fumbling with the paper bag, ripping small pieces off. 

“Ted?”, he asks. 

Ted looks up. “Yes?” 

“I want to apologise to you too.” 

Ted smiles, all confused. 

“What for?” 

“For ignoring you back in highschool. We were really mean to you.” 

“Shit, Bill, it’s fine. That was ages ago.” 

“I still feel bad. I’m sorry.” 

“I forgive you. You were never mean anyway.” 

“I never knew what to say to you so I just said nothing. That wasn’t fair.” 

Ted chuckles now. “Bill it’s okay. It’s not on you.” 

“On who then?” 

“Mostly Paul, I guess. Pretty sure Emma hated me too.” 

“Yeah she did.” 

“Well it’s mutual.” 

“Emma’s okay when you get to know her.” 

“Yeah maybe.” 

“You seem like a great guy, okay? I mean you must be, since Henry likes you.”

Ted chuckles. “Yeah, I don’t know how long he’ll keep doing that.” 

“Today you should have learned that you won‘t be getting rid of me that easily”, Henry chimes in.

“Are you really already making jokes about it?”, Ted asks. 

“How else am I going to deal with the trauma if not with humor?” 

Ted shrugs lightly. 

“That’s fair I guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don‘t know if this makes sense (medically) but whatever rightttt let‘s all ignore my lack of research about concussions


	23. Shared Beds And Sunrises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry is afraid of having nightmares and Ted sleeps in the same room anyway so why not in the same bed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a chapter full of fluff because I’m sorry for the past two chapters

Henry didn’t bother changing out of his Audrey II pullover, but he did change into his sweatpants. 

And now he’s just sitting on his bed, afraid that if he goes to sleep, he’ll have a vivid nightmare of Mason. 

Bill left about an hour ago. He stopped at the door and turned around to Henry. 

“Can we be friends again?”, he asked. 

Henry nodded. “Yes, please”, he said. Then they hugged and Bill left. 

“Hey, are you alright?” 

Ted comes out of the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. 

He already changed into his pyjamas as well and he looks concerned. 

“Yeah.” 

“Lights out?” 

“Okay.” 

Henry slips under his blanket, laying down now, while Ted goes over to the light switch. 

He switches the light off, but he doesn’t go to bed, he keeps standing there. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“No.” 

He walks over to Henry, sitting down at the edge of the bed now. 

It’s dark in the room and Henry can only see his silhouette. 

“Can I do something to make you feel better?”, he asks softly. 

“I don’t know. I’m scared.” 

“Of Mason? You’re safe here.” 

“Yeah I mean.. right now of falling asleep. I’m afraid he’ll be there.” 

Ted reaches for Henrys hand and Henry holds on to it. 

“Can you stay here?” 

“I won’t leave.” 

“No, like.. in my bed.” 

It’s quiet after that. 

“Sorry, that was weird”, Henry quietly apologises. 

“No, I just.. sorry. Move over.” 

“You don’t have to do this out of pity now.” 

“You just took me by surprise.” 

“But you’re okay with it?” 

“Yes of course.” 

Henry moves over and Ted slips next to him under the blanket. 

“Come here darling.” Ted opens his arms for Henry to lay in and Henry cuddles against his chest. 

“Thanks.” 

“It’s fine. Are you comfortable?” 

“Yeah, are you?” 

“Yes.” 

Ted’s chest rises and falls in a slow measure and his breath gently strokes Henrys forehead every now and then. It’s calming, it really is. 

“Thank you for doing this”, Henry whispers again. 

Ted chuckles now. “Stop thanking me. Go to sleep.” 

“Okay, night.” 

“Good night.” 

—

Henry wakes up in the middle of the night. He’s pretty sure it’s because of a nightmare, but as soon as he’s awake, he forgets what exactly happened in his dream. 

Ted is asleep next to him, his arms still loosely wrapped around Henry. 

His head fell over Henrys, so that his chin is brushing his forehead and his nose is buried in Henrys hair. 

He’s snoring quietly, but Henry doesn’t mind. He used to mind, but at this point he got so used to it that it’s more comforting than annoying. 

Ted is here and Henry is not alone and Henry is safe. It’s fine. 

Henry closes his eyes again, trying to imitate Teds breathing rhythm in hopes that it helps him fall back asleep. 

It doesn’t, it just makes him nearly suffocate. How can someone breath that slow? 

Henry opens his eyes again. 

He’s wide awake now. 

Ted stops snoring and Henry pushes himself away from him so he can look at him. 

Did he wake up? 

“Please tell me you’re not staring at me”, Ted whispers. 

“I’m not”, Henry lies. 

“Mh-mh.” 

“I’m just really awake right now.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know. I think I had a nightmare but I can’t remember.” 

“Okay.” 

“Are you gonna fall asleep again?” 

“I was planning to, yeah.” 

Ted didn’t even open his eyes yet. Henry lets his head sink back on Teds chest, lightly disappointed. 

“Hey how’s your head?”, Ted asks quietly. 

“Alright I think.” The headache is gone. He’s a little dizzy, but the reason for that might also be that he just woke up. 

“That’s good.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Hey, can you.. can we lay differently? I can’t feel my arm.” 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles, letting himself sink on his back. Ted pulls his arm away, turning to Henry now. 

He gently nudges Henrys shoulder. 

“Turn.” 

“Where?” 

“I’m planning on spooning you.” 

“Oh okay.” 

Henry turns on his side, away from Ted this time. 

Ted moves closer and wraps his arm around Henry. 

“Okay?” 

Henry nods. 

“Yeah.” 

Actually, this is really nice. 

Henry leans slightly into Ted, so that his back is pressed up against Teds chest and Ted is all warm. 

“You smell nice”, Ted whispers. 

“Thank you”, Henry whispers back. 

Then it’s quiet. 

It’s quiet for what feels like an eternity. 

“Henry?”, Ted then whispers. 

“Yes?” 

“You still awake?” 

“Yes.” 

“I can’t sleep anymore.” 

“Me neither.” 

“Do you know what time it is?” 

“No, but it’s still dark outside.” 

“When does the sun rise?” 

“Like 6 am?” 

Ted let’s go of Henry. 

Henry turns to him and sees him looking at his phone. 

“No, it’s 6:10 am”, Ted says, scrolling around now. “The sun rises in an hour.” 

“Okay.” 

Ted puts his phone back down and rolls to Henry. 

“Wanna watch the sunrise?”, he asks. 

“Yeah sure”, Henry jokes quietly. 

“I meant it.” 

“It’s so cold outside.” 

“Beanies opens at 6 am. We can get hot coffee and bring blankets and then we sit by the lake.” 

“You know, that sounds very romantic.” 

Ted winks at him. “Tiramisu?”, he whispers, a cheeky grin on his lips. 

Henry laughs and nudges him away. 

“Shut up, no one’s here.” 

“Come on, what else are we gonna do?” 

“Okay I’m gonna repeat. You want to get up now and get dressed and go outside where it’s cold with jackets and blankets. Then you want to get coffee and go to the lake?” 

“Yes. Except for the getting dressed part, let’s stay in our pyjamas.” 

“I’m not that spontaneous Ted.” 

“Sometimes you just have to let go darling.” 

Henry chuckles. 

“Okay.” 

“Yes?” 

“Yeah, get up.” He just really hopes he’s not going to regret this. 

Henry pushes Ted lightly and Ted gets out of the bed. 

Henry sits up and  looks around his bed for the extra blanket he usually puts on there, since he’s always cold. 

“Where-“, he starts but stops when Ted throws the blanket at him. 

“Thanks. Where was it?” 

“I took it off when you were asleep. Why do you sleep with two blankets?” 

“I get cold easily.” 

“You were glowing like the fucking sun last night, I nearly died.” 

Henry chuckles. “Are you saying I’m hot?” 

“Of course darling, that’s exactly what I meant.” 

“Gee thanks.” 

Ted just shakes his head, slipping into socks and then his shoes. 

Henry copies him, before getting his jacket. He slips his phone and his wallet in the pockets of his jacket and rolls the blanket up, holding it close to his chest. 

“I’m ready.” 

Ted opens the door. 

“After you.” 

“Why thank you Richards.” 

They walk to Beanies and get coffee. 

Beanies is completely empty, except for one single Barista (not Dean, thank god).

He just frowns when Ted and Henry come in and only nods when they order, preparing their coffees in silence. 

“He was still asleep”, Ted says, after they left. 

Henry smiles. 

“Poor guy.” 

“Not everyone can be an early riser like us.”

“I guess.” 

“By the way”, Ted says, “I met Dean yesterday, did you tell him we’re in an open relationship?” 

“Oh, yes. Sorry I forgot to tell you.”

Ted chuckles. 

“It’s fine. He asked me out again and I told him I’m not interested and that we’re trying monogamy now.”

“Okay, thanks for the relationship update.”

“You’re welcome babe.”

Henry laughs quietly. 

They make it to the lake in less than five minutes but by then, their coffee cups are already empty. 

“Okay, it’s really fucking cold”, Henry says, already shaking. 

It’s still winter after all. 

“You have no cold-resistance.”

“I really don’t.” 

“Let’s sit down I can hold you.” 

“‘Kay”, Henry says, trying to sound like he’s just giving in to a reasonable idea while his heart already warms up at just the thought of Ted holding him again. 

Something is very wrong with Henry. 

Ted sits down on the pebbles and nods for Henry to sit in front of him. 

Henry settles in front of him, between his legs, and Ted reaches for the blanket Henry is still holding. 

He opens it and wraps it around Henry, before he pulls him against his chest. 

“You’re a burrito now”, he says in complete honesty, making Henry snort-laugh. 

Ted rests his head on Henrys shoulder and Henry can see him smile in his peripheral vision. 

“Are we even looking in the right direction?”, Henry asks. 

“Pretty sure this is the east, yeah.” 

“Okay, I’ll trust you.” 

“Horrible decision darling.” 

“Don’t be so edgy.” 

Ted chuckles quietly.

Then they sit in silence for a while. 

They just sit and stare at the dark water. Henry can’t really concentrate, because this is the most romantic thing he’s ever done and Ted is just his friend. 

He makes a mental note to do something like this again, with his future boyfriend someday. 

It can’t be that long anymore, can it? He’s nineteen, going way too fast towards twenty and at some point someone will have to want to date him, right? 

Someone nice and good that means. Not Mason. Henry doubts that Mason ever wanted to date him anyway. 

Just the thought of Mason makes him shiver. 

“You okay? Still cold?” 

“No. I mean yes, I’m okay. No I’m not cold. Not anymore.”

“Okay.” 

“You’re like a heater.” 

“Are you saying I’m hot?”, Ted quietly quotes Henry. 

“Absolutely”, Henry says, actually meaning it. Because Ted _is_ hot. There’s literally no denying. It doesn’t mean that Henry has a crush on him. It’s just a fact. 

“Thank you for coming out here with me”, Ted says. 

“Of course.” 

“I used to watch sunrises with my dad when I was younger. I miss it sometimes.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“It’s fine.“ 

Then they’re quiet again until the sky goes purple, then pink. The sun reaches out over the woods on the other side of the lake and it’s so pretty. 

“Damn”, Henry whispers. 

“Nature is bragging, huh?”

Henry smiles, letting his head sink against Teds. 

“Thank you for talking me into this.” 

“Your welcome, darling.” 


	24. Three Words And Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another apology. And Henry really loves either pizza or Ted or both.

It’s later that day and Ted went to one of his classes (after Henry repeatedly assured him that he’s feeling okay and that Ted can leave him alone in their room for a while). 

Henry is just kind of sitting on his bed, still wearing the same clothes he wore the whole night. It’s not like he’s leaving the room anyway, he’s not allowed to do straining tasks and the only thing on his schedule today is rehearsal and he’s too weak to go there (at least that’s what the nurse said). 

He even mailed Mrs. Duncan, just to make sure she knows that he’s not ditching. 

Now he’s just mostly lost in his thoughts because reading gives him a headache and so is being on his phone. 

There’s a knock on the door and Henry looks up but doesn’t dare to move. What if it’s Mason? 

It’s quiet for a while, then it knocks again. 

“Henry are you in there?” That’s Charlottes voice. 

Henry takes a breath when he realises he held it and relaxes a little, before getting up to open the door. 

There Charlotte is, a worried look on her face. 

“Henry”, she whispers, before she flies into a hug. 

Henry hesitantly pulls her closer, pulls her inside the room without breaking the hug, before he closes the door. 

Charlotte pulls away now, scanning his face, then his neck. 

Tears formed into her eyes. 

She knows. 

Bill must have told her. 

“I miss you”, she whispers, “Bill told me what happened, are you alright?” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“I’m okay now”, he fumbles out. 

“I’m so sorry Henry!” A sob escapes her lips, she sniffles, then the tears come in. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay”, Henry mutters, trying to make her stop crying. 

She shakes her head. “It’s not okay, we should have been there for you!” 

“You didn’t know.” 

“Emma was wrong. I should have said something to back you up but I just made it worse.” 

“Char it’s fine.” 

“No.. no.” She shakes her head, sobbing again, so he pulls her into another hug, holding her close. 

“I love you Henry”, she whispers. 

“I love you too”, Henry mumbles into her hair. He has to concentrate very hard not to cry as well. He’s trying to be the strong one here. 

“Can you forgive me?” 

“I already did.” 

“Thank you.” 

She reaches for his face now, holding it in her shaking hands, while her eyes wander over his face one more time. 

“How are you?” 

“I’m okay. ..better that means.” 

“Is there anything I can do for you?” 

Henry shakes his head. 

“I’m just glad that we’re friends again. I missed you.” 

She nods lightly. 

“I missed you too. You can always call me if you need me, yeah?” 

Henry nods. “Okay.” 

“We’re here for you. Bill and me that means. Emma misses you but she doesn’t say that, she’s very stubborn. And Paul is on her side, because he’s in hopeless devotion to her.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Okay”, he whispers. 

“But Emma will come around eventually. She knows it’s on her to apologise. She knows she went too far.” 

“It’s okay Char, you don’t need to worry about me.” 

“But I do, because I care so much.” 

“I know you do.” 

“I wish I could make sure he’ll never come close to you again.” 

Henry nods. “Me too.” 

“They called the police, didn’t they? Is he still free?” 

“Yes, I think they didn’t really care.”

Henry hasn’t heard from them and they seemed rather nonchalant.

Henry was at the nurses office earlier that day (Ted made him go) and Amy said she and Professor Reid are working on getting Mason suspended, so that is at least something. 

She said they’re working with the college counsellor on getting a few more witnesses. Apparently Henry is not the only one Mason harassed. 

Amy also said that Henry should think about seeing said counsellor. “It’s a friend of mine”, she had said, “She’s a professional therapist. Her name is Nancy, she’s really nice. Think about it, will you?” 

And Henry had only nodded. 

Maybe having somebody to talk to wouldn’t be too bad. A professional that means. Ted listens to everything Henry wants to get off his mind, but Henrys not sure if that’s so good. He doesn’t want to keep burdening Ted like that. 

“But you’re getting help?” 

“The nurse here is really nice. Her wife is a doctor and both of them looked after me. I’m gonna be okay.” 

“Her wife”, Charlotte repeats quietly. 

Henry nods. 

“She even told me to go to the counsellor and maybe I will.” 

“Oh! You should”, Charlotte says, “She’s really nice!” 

“You know her?” 

She nods eagerly. “I was there a few times myself.” 

“Oh, cool. ..why?”

“Nothing bad, just.. you know, stressing about grades and things like that.” Charlotte blushes now and Henry feels like she’s lying, but he lets her, since it’s her business whether or not she wants to tell him why. 

“Okay then, maybe I’ll go.” 

“Yeah, think about it.” 

Henry nods. 

“Hey, I’m meeting with Bill for lunch, wanna tag along?”, she asks. 

Henry shakes his head. 

“Ted’s bringing me food after his class ends.” 

“He’s taking care of you?” 

Henry smiles, nodding now. “Almost too much.” 

Charlotte chuckles. “I’m sure he’s doing well.“ 

“Yeah, he is.” 

“Okay, I have to go, but see you, yes? Please take care.” 

Henry nods. “I will. You too.” 

She nods, placing a kiss on his cheek before she goes for the door. 

Then the door falls shut behind her and Henry is alone again. 

Henry walks over to the window, unwillig to go back to sitting on his bed. He just kind of stares out of it until he hears a key turn in the lock. 

He turns around to Ted stepping inside the room, balancing two pizza boxes on his arm. 

“Why are your friends so weird recently? Charlotte just apologised to me, like Bill yesterday.” 

“I don’t know”, Henry says. 

Ted looks up. 

“Why aren’t you in bed? You’re supposed to rest.” 

Henry groans, turning back to the window. 

He can hear how the door clicks shut and how Ted sets the boxes down, before walking over to him. 

Then Ted appears in his peripheral vision and leans against the windowsill, his worried eyes on Henry. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Of course I am.” 

“Sure?” 

“Yes! ..yes.” 

Henry looks up at Ted and Ted looks adorable. It’s almost hard to stay mad at him, when he looks so genuinely worried. 

“I’m okay”, Henry says again, “Just really bored and desperate for some exercise.” 

“Okay.” He looks relieved. 

“Ted, please calm down, would you? You’re driving me crazy.” 

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry”, he mumbles, closing his eyes for a moment and tilting his head. 

“I mean, it’s nice but you make me feel like I’m fatally ill”, Henry keeps going. 

“Sorry.” 

Henry chuckles now, shaking his head. 

“It’s alright.” 

“I’ll try and be less worried, okay?” 

Henry nods. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome darling.” 

“So ..you brought pizza?” 

Ted smiles. “Indeed.” 

“Thanks, I love you.” 

Ted laughs and it takes a moment for Henry to realise what he said. 

Well shit. 

Henry has said platonic ‘I love you’s to others before. To friends and family. But he’s not sure if Ted’s the kind of guy who you can platonically say ‘I love you’ to. Henry is also not sure if they’re there yet. 

“A thank you would have been enough but this is nice too”, Ted says.

“I meant it platonically.” 

“I brought you pizza, it’s obvious that you wanna marry me now.” 

“Oh shut up.”

Ted winks at Henry and Henry has to turn away, so Ted can’t see he’s blushing. 

This is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to him. 

He can feel Teds hand on his waist now, gently turning him back, so Henry is facing Ted again. 

Ted has a hint of amusement in his expression. His eyes are glowing in a way that makes Henrys heart skip a beat. 

“I love you too dear”, he says, tilting his head lightly. 

He chuckles before he pulls Henry closer, so that his lips are almost brushing Henrys ear.

“No homo”, he adds. Then he pushes a quick kiss against Henrys cheek. 

Henry laughs now, relaxing again, relieved that Ted didn‘t think it‘s weird. 

“Let’s eat?”, Ted asks. 

Henry can only nod. 

— 

Henry decides to go to the counsellor. 

Mostly because he can’t sleep anymore and he doesn’t want to make Ted sleep in his bed all the time. 

Also two people told him that that woman is nice, so she must be. 

Ted walked him to the room, but then had to leave because of a class. 

So now Henry is sitting in front of the door leading to that room, waiting for her to ask him inside. 

There’s still someone else inside. 

Henry just kind of stares at the floor, getting lost in the depths of his thoughts, so that he nearly flinches when the door opens. 

Henry looks up to see a boy step outside.

Henry has seen him before.

He has dark skin and great curly hair and a jacket that is so blue that it almost hurts Henrys eyes to look at it but for some reason it looks really cool on him. 

Henry knows him from theatre. 

He’s the one playing Alfred in their production of Alice By Heart. His name is Chad. 

Henry never really talked to him.

He’s been wanting to, but he never dared, because Chad seems to float above everyone, he seems so cool. He’s always wearing blue eyeliner, that’s cool right? Henry lowkey wishes he could pull that off. 

“You’ll be back next week?”, the counsellor, Nancy, asks. 

Chad nods. “Obviously, life will continue being shit.” 

Nancy tilts her head. 

“But the future is bright”, Chad quickly adds, “I’ll be back next week.” 

Nancy nods. “I’ll see you. Watch that movie I suggested.” 

“Looking forward to it.” 

Chad walks past Henry, throwing him a quick glance. 

“You must be Henry”, Nancy says. 

Henry nods, quickly getting up. 

“I’m Nancy.” She shakes his hand. “Come in.” 

— 

Henry didn’t really prepare on what to say. He usually does that, before he enters new situations. 

Now he’s just sitting on a couch, opposite of the armchair Nancy’s sitting in. 

“Do you want coffee? Tea?”, she asks. 

Henry quickly shakes his head, then regrets it. Coffee would have been nice. Now it’s too late. 

“So Henry”, she says, pushing a plate of cookies towards him. He eyes them, knowing full well that he’s too self conscious to take one. 

“What do you want to talk about?” 

Henry hesitates. “I don’t know. Where.. where do people usually start?” 

“It’s different, really.”

“Do you know what happened? ..like to me?” 

“Amy told me the rough details, yes.” 

“I don’t really.. want to talk about it. Or not yet. It freaks me out.” 

“Okay, that’s fine.” 

“Is it?” 

“Of course. I’m not going to force you into conversations that make you uncomfortable. We can work towards that bit by bit, if you choose to come regularly.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

She gifts him a smile and Henry tries to relax a little. This is fine. She’s really nice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chanting* Chad! ChAD! CHAD!


	25. ANOTHer Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: - light panic attack

Henry starts visiting classes again, after Amy gave him green light. 

He steps into biology. It hasn’t started yet, because he is too early, but so is Professor Reid, who’s just unpacking his bag on his desk. He looks up and sees Henry and gifts him an encouraging smile before he comes towards him. 

“Hello Henry, how are you?”, he asks. 

“Good.. I mean, I’m okay, I.. don’t know.” 

“Alright. Take a seat, will you? You can still relax, class starts in 10 minutes. I’ll take it easy on you, okay?” 

Henry nods lightly. “Thank you.” 

Suddenly Professor Reid reaches for him and gently pushes him behind himself. Henry frowns, turning around to the door, just to see that Mason came in. 

Henry freezes, his heartbeat speeding up. 

Masons gaze hits Henrys and it nearly feels like he punched him in the lungs, just knocking every bit of air out. It gets harder to breath, suddenly.  


“No!”, Professor Reid says, holding his hand towards Mason to keep him away. 

“I just wanna talk to him.” 

Henry’s brain starts to pulsate. Their voices go muffled and Henry has to reach for a table to not loose balance. 

“Get out of my class!” 

“I have the right to be here!” 

“You don’t! Fuck off.” 

Masons expression goes angry, but he turns around and leaves. 

“Henry?” 

Henry looks up to see Emma next to him. 

“Sit down, you’re okay, you’re safe”, she says, leading him to a seat. 

And he lets her do it. “It’s okay”, she says again, “He’s gone.” 

He closes his eyes for a second, just focusing on her voice. 

“Breath Henry, yeah? In.. and out.” 

He nods, doing as she says. 

He opens his eyes again and sees her looking at him. 

Her hand is laying next to his on the table and she’s kneeling in front of him. Henry reaches for her hand. 

He doesn’t even care about the fight in that particular moment, he’s just glad she didn’t make him go through this alone. 

That was close to a panic attack. 

“Henry, are you alright?” Professor Reid appears in front of him now. 

Henry nods. “Yes, thank you.” 

“Do you want to leave?” 

Henry shakes his head. 

He came all the way. And he doesn’t want to leave the room, now that he knows Mason is out there. God knows where he’s waiting. 

“Okay, tell me if you need something.” 

Henry nods. 

Professor Reid gets up and Henry and Emma are alone. Henry hesitantly looks up at her and sees that she’s really close to crying. 

“Em..”, he whispers. 

“Can I hug you?” 

He nods and hugs her back when she pulls him close. 

“I’m sorry”, she says, her voice sounding muffled because she’s talking into his shoulder, “I’m so sorry Hen, I was a fucking bitch.” 

“Yeah you were”, he mumbles and she chuckles quietly, pulling away now. 

“There’s no excuse for what I said. I went too far and I know it.” 

Henry nods lightly, before saying: “I should have texted you guys.” 

“No. I mean yes, but.. you’re only human, you forget things. It’s okay, I shouldn’t have freaked out as much as I did.” 

“Well your worry was justified”, Henry says quietly, “Mason nearly killed me.” 

Emma shrugs lightly, looking miserable. “I wish I could have been there for you. If it wasn’t for our stupid fight I wouldn’t have ditched class and I would have waited for you outside the bathroom and I-“ 

“It’s okay, Em. You didn’t know. It happened, no matter how many what ifs there are.” 

She nods lightly, sniffling now. She still looks like she’s giving her best not to cry. 

“Can you forgive me? I’m sorry about everything I said about Ted, that was just.. I think I was jealous because you were with him a lot, suddenly. And I never really liked him, because I took Paul’s side. But I didn’t actually know what happened back then and now Paul told me the truth and I feel so stupid.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“You were really mean”, he mumbles. 

Emma nods. “I know. I’m so sorry.” 

“I forgive you”, Henry decides, because she says it all so genuinely. And she has tears in her eyes and her cheeks are reddened. He has never seen her like this.  


“Thank you.” 

“But I don’t.. there’s nothing between Ted and me.” 

She nods. “Okay. I’m sorry.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Let’s go to our seats?” 

Emma smiles lightly and nods. 

— 

Paul is waiting for Emma in front of biology when she and Henry get out. 

Henry hesitantly looks around for Ted who promised to come and get him, so Henry won’t have to walk alone. 

He’s not there yet. 

“Hey Henry”, Paul says, looking almost as guilty as Emma did earlier. 

“Hi”, Henry replies. 

“How are you?” 

Henry shrugs lightly. “Okay, I guess” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Paul..” 

“No, I am.” 

“It’s okay.” Henry has heard so many apologies at this point. He just wants everything to be like it was before their fight. 

“We were really mean”, Paul goes on. 

“Paul it’s fine. Seriously, okay?”

“Okay.” 

Henry sees Emma reach for Paul’s hand and slightly panics at the thought of them leaving him alone there. 

“What are you doing now?”, he asks, throwing glances towards the direction Ted is supposed to come from. 

“Actually we were planning to go ice skating today”, Emma says. 

“Oh, that’s cool.” 

“Wanna come?” She’s probably asking because she feels like she has to. 

Henry shakes his head. “No, that sounds like a date.” 

“It kind of is”, Paul says, pulling Emma backwards against his chest now and resting his chin on her head. 

“Have fun then”, Henry says. 

“Where are you going? We can walk you somewhere if you want to.” 

“I’m kind of waiting for Ted.” 

“We can wait with you then.” 

Henry nods, trying to stay cool and not show how relieved he is. “Okay. Thanks.” 

“No problem”, Paul says and Emma smiles. 

Henry turns to look for Ted again and sees him jog towards him now. 

“Hey! Sorry, I’m late”, he says, once he reached him, totally out of breath. 

“It’s okay”, Henry answers, smiling at how exhausted he looks. He really ran. 

“I guess we’ll leave then?”, Emma asks. 

Henry nods. “Thank you for waiting.” 

“No problem.” Emma just hugs him, a lot longer than she usually does.

"I love you dude, thank you for forgiving me", she whispers.

"Good god, shut it now", Henry mumbles into her hair and she chuckles, before she pulls away.

She takes Paul’s hand and Paul gifts Henry a smile.

"See you Henry", he says. 

Henry nods and Paul hesitates, before he decides to hug Henry as well. 

"See you", he repeats quietly and Henry nods again. "Yes."

Then they leave. 

“Friends again?”, Ted asks. 

"Yeah."

“I told you they’d come back.” 

Henry smiles lightly, wrapping his arm around Teds waist when Ted pulls him close, his arm loosely tangling over Henrys shoulders. 

“You were right”, Henry gives in. 

“Of course I was.” 

“Don’t be so full of yourself.” 

Ted chuckles and Henry laughs quietly. 

“Hey do you want to go for coffee?”, Ted then asks. 

“Yes.” 

“Is there a possibility that you’re addicted to coffee?” 

“I have to keep up an image.” 

“What image?”

“Imagine me in like thirty years. A cocky reclusive biology professor with a secret passion for musical theatre and always high on caffeine.” 

“Is that really the image you’re going for?” 

Henry chuckles. “No. But maybe that’s how I’ll end up. Single and in a constant process of loosing my mind.” 

“Ugh come on. If no one dates you by then, I will.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah why not?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Henry stares at the floor now, smiling at the thought of Ted dating him. 

“Stop smiling like you’re in a Jane Austen book.” 

“It’s just that that was very sweet Ted.” 

“I can take it back, if you-“ 

“No, no. I’m good.”

Ted chuckles. “Okay.” 


	26. Chad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chad in the bathroom at a party (no it's actually not at a party, I just wanted everyone to get the reference)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of a panic attack  
\- mention of sexual assault  
\- mention of rape (kinda?)  
\- this will make you hate Mason even more

Weeks pass and spring comes and Henry keeps going to Nancy, every thursday. 

He’s always coming after Chad and at this point they kind of gift each other a little smile every time Chad leaves and Henry goes in. 

Even at rehearsal, they now nod at each other when they meet.  


Which is also why Henry immediately notices when Chad is missing at rehearsal. 

It’s not hard to notice, since he’s one of the leads, but still. Usually he’s the first to be there. He’s always already sitting on the small stage, his legs tangling over the edge and his attention focused on the script in his hand. 

But not that day. 

“Does anyone know where Chad is?”, Mrs Duncan asks. 

She’s met with silence. 

Some people either shrug or shake their heads. 

“We need an Alfred!” 

“Maybe he wasn’t feeling well”, someone says. 

Mrs Duncan sighs now, nodding lightly. 

“Okay, let’s get started anyway. Maybe he’s just late.” 

But Chad doesn’t arrive late, he doesn’t arrive at all. 

— 

Henry goes to the bathroom after rehearsal. And just when he’s about to leave again, he hears a quiet sob out of one of the stalls.

“Hey?”, he asks. 

No one answers. 

Henry hesitantly goes over to the stall door he believes it came from. He wants to knock but instead pushes the door open with his knuckles. It’s not locked. 

There Chad is, sitting on the closed toilet seat, his legs pulled to his chest. And he’s crying. 

His blue eyeliner is all smudged. 

“Chad”, Henry mumbles, surprised. Because somehow he had just assumed that Chad is sick in bed.

Chad just rubs his hands over his cheeks, sniffling while he tries to compose himself. 

“Are you alright?”, Henry asks. 

“Obviously not.” 

“Is there anything I can do?” 

Chad shrugs. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Mrs Duncan missed you during rehearsal.” 

“I’m sorry. I had a panic attack in here.” 

“Oh.. Do you.. do you want me to get you someone? A friend or Mrs. Duncan or the nurse? Or I could get you some water?” 

“No, I don’t have friends”, he says, stating it like a well known fact. 

Henry didn’t know. 

“Do you want to be alone?” 

“No. ..I’m fucking scared.” 

“Why?” 

“There’s a guy and I’m kind of hiding from him right now.” 

“A guy?” 

“His name is Mason.” 

“Oh.” 

Henry clenches his fists, but forces himself to stay cool. He has to be strong now, even if the name alone makes his heart want to flee out of his chest. 

“What did.. what did he do?” 

“I mean I don’t wanna hurt your feelings but I literally don’t know you”, Chad mumbles. 

“Sorry.” 

“But you seem really nice. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while.” 

“Yes?” 

Chad nods. 

“You probably think I’m stupid for hiding here like a coward.” 

Henry quickly shakes his head. 

“No. Not if you’re hiding from him.” 

Chad frowns now, watching him. 

“You know him?” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Wait”, Chad mumbles, his dark eyes scanning Henry now. “It’s you.” 

“What?” 

“You’re the guy.” 

“What guy?” 

“You know, the rumours? That Mason beat up some guy in the boys restrooms.” 

“Oh.” Henry didn’t know people knew. 

“It was you, wasn’t it? You‘re seeing Nancy as well. And you flinched when I said his name.” 

Henry shrugs lightly, avoiding Chads gaze. 

“Shit”, Chad whispers. 

“How many people know?”, Henry asks. 

“I don’t know. A few. No one knows it’s you though.” 

“Okay.” 

“Man.. how are you?” 

“I’m better now. You?” 

“I mean.. I just had a panic attack.” 

“Shit, yes, right.” 

“Wanna sit with me for a while?”, Chad asks. 

Henry nods. “Okay.” 

Chad lets himself slip off the toilet seat and on the floor instead, leaning against the stall wall. 

Henry sits down opposite of him, pulling his knees up to his chest. 

“Was Mrs Duncan mad?”, Chad asks. 

Henry shakes his head, then shrugs. 

“I don’t know. A little, maybe. She’ll be okay with it if you explain.” 

“Okay”, Chad mumbles. 

“You’re great anyway, you already have everything perfected”, Henry says, “You don’t even need rehearsal.” 

Chad smiles now, brightly and genuine. 

“You think so?” 

“Yes.” 

“I just.. I love theatre, I’ve never been a lead. I want to make it perfect.” 

“Well you’re really good.” 

Chad smiles. “Thanks. You aren’t bad either, mad hatter.” 

Henry chuckles. “Thank you.” 

“What are you doing now?” 

“I don’t know. My friend kind of promised to come get me but he’s not here yet.” 

“Does he know you’re in the bathroom?” 

“No”, Henry admits, pulling out his phone to text Ted. “I’ll text him.” 

A bunch of texts come in, as soon as Henry unlocks his phone. All of them are from Ted. 

_ he’s gonna keep us here forever _

_ I’m gonna be late _

_ I’m so sorry _

_ I can’t just leave can I? _

_ are u still there? _

_ Henry are u ok? _

Henry quickly texts back. 

_I’m fine!_

Ted immediately answers. 

_ thank god shit you scared the crap out of me  _

Maybe Henry should have texted Ted earlier. He quickly types an answer, sending it without thinking about it twice.  


_ Sorry. Just text when you’re here, I’m with Chad in the bathroom _

A bunch of texts come flying in immediately and Henry realises that maybe, just maybe, he should have put it differently. 

_ what _ are u d_oing with Chad in the bathroom Henry?  _

_ is it dirty?  _

_ damn Henry  
_

_ wait who’s Chad? _

_wait no get off your phone and enjoy it dear_

Henry chuckles now. 

_Shut up_

_whatever see ya_

“He’s stuck in class”, Henry says, looking up to Chad who is watching him, a smile on his lips. 

“Friend?”, Chad mumbles, smiling brighter, “or boyfriend?” 

Henry tilts his head. 

“Friend.”

“Are you sure?” 

Henry nods. “Yeah, why?” 

“You’re smiling like a dork.” 

“He’s just being stupid, that’s why.” 

“Okay. I’ll believe you then.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“How about you? Do you have.. anyone?” 

“Nah, I don’t even have friends man.” 

“But you’re so cool.” 

Chad chuckles. “Not really, no.” 

“But you seem so confident and..“, Henry hesitates.

“It’s a facade. Fake it till you make it.”

“Oh.” 

“Still, I’m flattered that you think I’m cool. I think you’re cool too.” 

Henry smiles now. 

Then his phone buzzes in his hand. It’s Ted.

_omw! _

“He’s on his way”, Henry says. 

“Wanna go outside?”, Chad asks. 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Yeah, might as well.” 

He pushes himself up and so does Chad. They step out of the bathroom and the corridor is nearly empty, except for a few people, walking in different directions. Everybody is just passing, no one is there to stay.

“Cute”, a voice says from behind them, a voice that makes the blood freeze in Henrys veins. 

Henry doesn’t even dare to turn around at first, he just kind of stumbles along when Chad pulls him a few feet away. 

“Wait a second”, Mason says. 

Henry turns to him now, pushing Chad behind himself. 

“No.” 

“I’m not going to touch either of you, I promise.” 

“Your promises mean fucking shit.” 

Mason shrugs. “That’s fair I guess.” 

Henry is not sure where he takes the courage, the confidence. His hands are shaking and his heart is beating like a pneumatic hammer, but he manages to look at Mason and he manages to kind of defend himself and Chad. He’s mostly running on his protective instinct (since Chad froze up completely) and fear. 

Also Chad’s there. 

He’s not completely alone. 

“I’m sorry”, Mason says. 

“What?”

“I’m sorry I kissed you.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. I just wanted you so bad and I was drunk but I shouldn’t have kissed you. Please forgive me.”

“No? Fuck you.” 

“Come on. Please Henry.”

“You sexually harassed me.”

“I just kissed you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Well you did. Twice.”

“I’m not like that, usually.”

“Well how often are you a rapist? Only on weekends?”

“I’m not a rapist.”

“Yes you are”, a quiet voice says from behind Henry and Henry freezes up for a moment.

Mason looks past Henry at Chad. 

“Come on, you agreed to that, you liked it.” 

“No.” His voice is weak, scared but still definite. 

Henry reaches behind himself, to grab Chads hand. It’s shaking. 

“Can you guys please just say that you forgive me? I don’t wanna be suspended.” 

“I hope you die”, Chad says. 

Mason sighs and looks back at Henry now. 

“Your friends keep beating me up. Can you at least tell them to stop?” 

Are they? Henry didn’t know. 

“I’m sure they didn’t mean to. They just wanted to beat you up so bad. Forgive them”, Henry hits back, kind of proud of how sassy he manages to sound. 

“You’re the worst. I can’t believe I was into you.”

“Just leave us alone.” 

“What if I don’t?” 

“Maybe I’ll kill you.” 

“You can’t kill me, you’re fucking weak.” 

“I can kill you”, someone else says. 

Ted. 

Ted! 

Henry’s heart makes a relieved little jump as Ted comes to a stop next to him and Chad. 

He eyes Henry for a moment. 

“Are you okay?”, he whispers. 

Henry nods. 

Then Ted turns his attention back to Mason, with a look on his face that doesn’t suggest that he just wants to talk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well SOMEONE gets beaten up next chapter


	27. Mason Gets Punched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mason gets what he deserves (you’re welcome)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honey makes an appearance in this because she's the best.
> 
> (ily)
> 
> TW:   
\- choking   
\- punching   
\- blood   
\- mention of rape

Henry should have known things would escalate. 

But it started rather gentle (at least as gentle as a fight can start) and Henry wasn't really thinking anyways. 

Everything was so chaotic and on top of that 'Fight for Me' from Heathers was stuck in his head the whole time. 

How was he supposed to know it would escalate?

—

“Are you his boyfriend?”, Mason asks Ted.  


“Does it matter?” 

“If I had known he belongs to someone, I wouldn’t have made a move, man.” 

“He belongs to himself you sick fucking creep.” 

“Hey we don’t have to fight”, Mason says, putting his hands up to shield himself, slowly backing away as Ted gets closer. 

“Yeah, I guess." Ted puts his bag down on the floor, cracking his knuckles before stretching his arms for a moment, rolling his shoulders back (it's weirdly hot, not that Henry would admit that). "..I just want to punch you really bad because I hate you so much. Do you get me?” 

There’s so much anger in Teds expression. There’s literally no way he’s not punching Mason, Henry would rather not stand between them now. 

"Ted", Henry whispers. 

Ted turns to him for a moment. "Yeah?"

"Be careful at least."

Ted nods. "I always am darling."

"What the fuck Henry?", Mason asks, "You're just gonna let him punch me?"

Henry shrugs. 

"Listen up asshole", Ted says, looking at Mason again, "Henry wants to see you bleed just as much as I do."

Mason tilts his head, looking past Ted at Henry. "Come on, I apologised!"

"Don't talk to him", Ted says, "Dont even look at him. You stay the fuck away from now on."

"You can't tell me what to do."

That earns him the first punch in the face. He stumbles back, clearly overwhelmed by the force of the punch. 

But so is Henry. 

He expected Ted to punch hard, but Ted nearly knocked Mason out with his fist and that is certainly astonishing (and also kind of satisfying to watch, let’s be honest here). 

“Fuck, man!”, Mason mumbles, spitting some blood on the floor. 

Then he looks up, anger in his eyes.

"I will fucking kill you", he hisses, before he storms at Ted. 

Ted, who ducks away and rams his elbow in Masons stomach, making him groan. 

Mason tries again immediately, his fist meeting Teds face this time.   


Henry wants to step in. 

_This_ is why he told Ted to be careful. But Ted is not careful, he's furious.  


Henry starts walking, kind of in a daze, completely blinded by his will to protect Ted. Ted shouldn't get hurt just because of Henry. 

Chad pulls him back after Henry took about two steps into the direction of the fight. 

Chad is still holding on to his hand,  Henry totally forgot about that for a moment. 

He only remembers Chads presence when he stumbles back against him. 

He only remembers Chads hand holding his when he feels Chads strong grip again. 

His grip is _really_ strong after all, just getting even stronger now. Maybe to keep Henry from running into the fight, sure. But there's more, it's almost like Chad needs something to hold on to.  


Henry turns to him for a moment, just to see him stare at Ted and Mason with wide eyes. 

“Hey”, Henry whispers and Chad looks at him. 

“Yeah?” 

“Are you okay?” 

Chad shakes his head. “I don‘t know.” 

Henry looks back at Ted and Mason, to make sure Ted is alright. 

He is. 

He pushed Mason and now Mason is in the process of stumbling backwards. Ted comes after him, reaching for the collar of his shirt to push him further backwards, against the wall. 

“Hey! Stop that, you're hurting him!”, a girl shouts now, running at Ted and Mason. 

Ted looks at her for a second, still keeping Mason on the wall. 

“It’s alright, I’m allowed to", he says. 

She frowns, mouthing a quiet "What?"

"Honey it's okay", Chad says. 

So apparently he knows her. 

Henry believes he knows her too, still struggling to find out where from. Probably theatre. There are so many faces, so many names he can't seem to memorize.  


Maybe she’s in the production team. 

Henry never really talks to people if it isn't necessary because of his social anxiety. 

“Chad what’s going on? How can you just watch this?”, she asks. 

Chad lets go of Henry.

“It’s okay, he’s the guy I told you about.” 

“What guy?” 

“The guy I told you about at rehearsal a few weeks ago. After you helped me through a panic attack.” 

“That guy? The.. the one?” 

Chad nods. 

“Oh”, she mumbles, before she turns back around, staring at Ted and Mason for a while."I want to punch him."  


Chad gets a hold of her wrist, when she starts walking towards them. 

“Honey, no.” 

Apparently it's Chad’s job to keep everybody from doing stupid stuff. 

But since he's focused on her now and not holding onto Henry anymore, Henry can do stupid stuff.

It's not like Henry has any impulse control and he can't just watch Ted getting hurt. Even though Henry has to admit that Ted still looks a lot better than Mason. 

Ted has Mason in a headlock after all, his arm wrapped around Masons neck, holding him against his chest, as Mason struggles to free himself. There’s blood dripping out of Masons nose, and his eye is all swollen up. 

“Stop..”, Mason whimpers.  “Stop please wait stop, you’re hurting me."  


“Good”, Ted says, “Are you scared?”

“Fuck you."

“You better be fucking terrified. I want you to realise what you did to Henry and I want you to fucking rot in the hell of your conscience.” 

Mason tries to break away again and Ted let’s him go now, pushing him away. Mason stumbles and nearly falls. 

“Are you done?”, he spits. 

“Not quite.” 

“Fuck you! I didn’t do anything!” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. All of us know you belong in jail.” 

Mason runs at Ted now, lifting his leg to kick him, hitting him in the rib cage. 

Ted stumbles back but still gets a hold of Masons leg, pulling it further up so that Mason slips and lands on the floor. 

He groans and Henry can’t help but notice Teds hand wandering up to his ribs for a moment. 

He’s hurt. Of course he is. 

"Oh dear god, what is going on?", Henry hears Charlottes voice and he turns around for a moment, just to see Charlotte arriving with Bill. Emma and Paul are there too, a little further behind. 

Henry doesn't answer, instead his legs set into motion, carrying him towards Ted. 

No impulse control after all. 

Ted is breathing rather ragged and heavy, his hand still on his side. 

"Ted", Henry says and Ted looks up, immediately letting his hand sink and straightening up. 

"I'm fine", he claims.

"No you're not you idiot, you're hurt.” 

“I’m not fucking hurt.” 

"Don't you dare!", Henry hears Bill behind himself and he quickly spins around, to see what's going on. 

Bill stepped between Henry and Mason, holding a hand towards Mason to keep him away.

"Step aside", Mason says, rolling his eyes. 

"No you don't touch him ever again! If you try I'm gonna kick your ..head!"

Mason raises an eyebrow. 

"My head?"

Bill hesitates, realising his mistake. 

"Yes your head", Ted says from behind Henry, "It's the most vulnerable part of the body. If you take out the head, the whole thing goes down."

Mason looks at Ted for a bit, the anger making him go all red. 

Then he looks back at Bill, a smug smile forming on his face.

"Well why don't you show me that roundhouse kick?"

And to everybody's surprise, Bill does. He just kicks Masons head in one swift motion, knocking him out. Literally knocking him out.

Mason sacks to the floor.

"Shit man", Ted whispers, "I didn't know you could actually do that."

"I didn't know I can still do it. I did Kung Fu until a few years ago."  


Henry pushes past Bill now, stepping closer to Mason, just to see if he's still breathing.

"Is he dead?", Charlotte asks.

"No he's not fucking dead", Emma says. 

"How do you know? You're not a doctor!"

Henry kneels down next to Mason now. 

"Henry be careful", Ted says, coming closer, cautiously eyeing Mason. 

"I just wanna make sure his heart is still beating", Henry says, reaching for Masons arm so he can feel his pulse on his wrist.

And he does feel a pulse, thank god.

As much as Henry would love for Mason to disappear out of his life, he wouldn't actually want to kill him. Mostly because he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in prison and he doesn't wish that for his friends either.

Also he doesn't want blood on his hands, no matter how much of a bad person Mason is. 

"_Is_ he dead?", Charlotte asks again.

Henry looks up, shaking his head.

"His heart is still beating."

"Oh thank god", she whispers.

"Why?", Emma asks, "I say he can fucking rot."

"_I_ don't want to be framed for murder", Charlotte mumbles.

Henry nods, wanting to agree, before he is being pulled back, loosing his words in the shock.

He finds himself still sitting on the floor but close to Mason, his back pressed against Masons chest and Masons hand on his throat. It gets harder to breath and for some reason Henry needs a few seconds to realise that Mason is choking him. 

Ted hurries to them but Mason pulls Henry further away. 

“I’d stay there if you don’t want me to snap his fucking neck”, Mason says and Ted stops. 

Henry can see the look on his face. Empathy, distress but most of all disappointment. Henry wants to say sorry because he now realises that it was really stupid to go that close. 

He wasn't being careful, he should have been more careful. He behaved like those stupid white people in horror movies.

But it’s not like Henry can talk anyway, while he gasps for even the tiniest bit of air to fill his lungs again. 

Henry should have known things would escalate. 

But it started rather gentle (at least as gentle as a fight can start) and Henry can't think, his brain is not working anymore. Maybe it's the lack of oxygen, maybe the panic bubbling up in his chest. 

He feels Masons breath in his neck, it's going heavy and ragged. He's weak. 

Mason's weakened. 

Of course he is. 

Henry presses his eyes shut, trying to think for a moment, before he decides to just slam his elbow back in Masons ribs, making him gasp. 

His grip weakens and Henry can breath again. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you guys?", Mason chokes. 

"What is wrong with you?", Ted hits back, "Let him go!"

"Not until you promise to leave me alone."

"Do you really think I have empathy for a fucking rapist?"

"I'm not a fucking rapis-" Mason stops and inhales a sharp breath, suddenly falling backwards, or being pulled there, pulling Henry along.  


"Yeah?", Henry hears Chad ask behind them. He sounds out of breath for some reason, and his voice is shaking a little. But he must be pulling Mason back somehow, because Mason is still struggling to find balance, his breath went even more ragged, maybe out of pain now.

"Did you ask for my consent?", Chad asks, whispering it, only loud enough for Henry and Mason to hear. "Did you stop when I was begging you to?"

"Fuck you, I thought you wanted it."

"Well if that's true, you're just really fucking stupid, because I made myself very clear."

"I said I'm sorry!"

"Let Henry go now."

"Fuck off."

"Let him go."

Henry can feel Mason let go of him now and he pushes himself away. 

Ted is at him immediately, pulling him in a save distance and sinking down next to him, holding him close now. 

"Ted I'm fine", Henry fumbles out. 

"No."

Henry sighs and leans against Teds chest, relieved to have found safety again. 

Then he remembers Chad and sits up, looking in their direction, just to see Mason push Chad on the floor. Then he's above him, straddling his hips and smiling somehow. 

"Do you remember us like this?", he asks, "Memories huh?"

Chad is in a constant struggle to push Mason off and Henry can see him panic, while Masons fingers glide around his neck. 

Henry wants to get up, feeling Ted let go and get up behind him at the same time. 

But before either of them can properly  react, Bill reached the two, kicking Mason off Chad. 

He grabs Chad under the arms and pulls him out from under Mason. 

Mason straightens up, slowly getting back on his feet. 

Henry opens his mouth to warn Bill, who is completely focused on getting Chad away and calming him down. Henry doesn't get a tone out, just watching in shock as Mason sways towards them.

Then Emma comes running at Mason at full speed. 

She just kind of throws her whole body at him, like some kind of wrecking ball, knocking him to the ground. It all happens in a matter of seconds, then Mason is on the floor again and Emma is on top of him, pinning him down. 

She starts to whisper threats at him, her hand on his throat, ready to squeeze if he tries to fight back. 

“That’s my girlfriend”, Paul says, somewhere next to Henry and Ted. Henry looks up for a moment to see him lovingly watching Emma. 

Henry also sees that they have been joined by other students, all of them eager to watch instead of help. 

Henry feels Ted safely wrapping his arms around his waist again and Henry takes his attention off the curious onlookers. 

He turns to Ted,  reaching for his face, examining it now. There’s a blue-ish eye and a rather bloody bruise on his cheekbone. Of course there's also the kick he got in the ribs. Henry makes a mental note to try and take a look at that later.  


Teds fingers are on his chin now, tilting his head up ever so lightly so he can see his neck. 

“Jesus Henry”, he mumbles, “I told you to be careful.” 

“Well and you promised to stay away”, Henry mumbles, “Now look at you, you’re hurt. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” 

“_I’m_ okay.” 

“Your hands?” 

Henry reaches for one of Teds hands, pulling it off his waist to look at his bruised and bloody knuckles. 

“Ted..” 

“Henry, I’m really okay.” 

He doesn’t look okay. Henry feels bad, because after all, he feels like this is on him. Tears form in his eyes, when he examines Teds hands. 

“You‘re fucking stupid“, he whispers. 

“The only stupid I‘m fucking is you“, Ted says. 

“You wish”, Henry sniffles and chuckles, letting his head sink against Teds shoulder. 

“You’re a catch.” 

“Stop flirting with me.” 

“Are you mad at me for fighting him?” 

“No”, Henry admits. “Thank you.” 

Ted only pulls him closer, his lips brushing Henrys forehead for a moment. Henry doesn't know if it's on purpose or purely accidental, but it still places a smile on his face.  


“Yeah you better fucking run!”, Emma shouts now and Henry turns around as good as he possibly can without breaking the hug, just to see Mason running away. 

When Henry turns back to Ted, he‘s smiling. 

“Are you enjoying this?”, Henry asks. 

“Does that make me a bad person?” 

“I don’t know. But if it does, I am one too.” 

“I mean, he deserved it.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Is Chad okay?”, Ted asks, looking past Henry now.

Henry turns to see Chad sitting on the floor, Bill kneeling in front of him.  Bill is holding on to both of his hands and he‘s talking to him. 

“I don‘t know. No“, Henry says. 

"What is going on here?", someone asks loudly, and Henry flinches, looking up to see Professor Reid.

"Nothing", Emma says, looking guilty.

Henry and Ted quickly get up, letting go of each other as most of the students leave, suddenly not so curious anymore.

Reid's eyes fall on Henry and he comes towards him now.

"Henry?"

Henry hesitates.

"What happened?", Professor Reid keeps going, eyeing Ted now.

"There's been a fight", Henry admits.

"With whom involved?"

"Mason started harassing me and Chad and-"

"Where is he?"

"He ran away."

"Which direction?"

Henry frowns, pointing in the direction.

"Okay", Reid says, before looking around. "Is everybody okay?"

Everybody just kind of nods.

"I'll go after him then", Reid then says, going in the direction Mason disappeared in and disappearing as well.

“Hey guys, are you alright?”, Emma asks now, appearing next to them.

Henry nods.

Emma's gaze falls on Ted. "You too? Are you good?"

Ted looks at Emma, really surprised for a moment, then he nods as well. 

“Yeah. You?” 

"Yes.  I’ve been wanting to tell him my opinion for a while”, she says, “You know.. with my fists.” 

Ted actually chuckles at that and Henry is completely overwhelmed because they do hate each other don’t they? 

Paul comes up behind Emma now, wrapping his arms around her. 

“I literally love you so much”, he whispers in her ear, making her laugh quietly. 

“You’re okay?”, Paul then asks. 

She nods. 

Paul just kind of rests his chin on her head and looks at Henry and Ted. 

“Hey”, he says, awkwardly now. 

“Hi”, Ted mutters, the same amount of awkwardness in his voice. 

Then it’s quiet. 

“We should go”, Henry then tries to save the situation. “Ted and me that means. He should cool that.” 

Henry just kind of reaches for Teds hands and holds them up, just to show Paul and Emma his knuckles. 

“Damn dude”, Emma whispers. 

“I’m okay”, Ted says. 

“Yes, no, we’re cooling that”, Henry decides, before he pulls Ted away. 

Henry and Ted pass the others and Henry stops for a moment. 

“Give me a second, yeah?”, he asks. 

Ted just nods. 

Henry walks towards Bill and Chad.  He kneels down next to Bill, in front of Chad. 

Chad is just staring at Bill, nodding lightly and breathing slow in the rhythm Bill gives him by repeatedly counting to four. 

It was another panic attack. 

“Do you want some water?”, Henry asks. 

Chad shakes his head. “Thank you”, he whispers. 

“Can I do anything?” 

“Yeah, thank your friends from me.” 

“Okay”, Henry says, throwing a glance at Bill, unsure about whether or not he should just leave.

“I’ve got him”, Bill says, “Go with Ted.” 

“Okay, be careful, yeah?" 

Bill nods and Henry gets up and goes back to Ted. 

“Where do we get ice?”, Henry asks and Ted shrugs lightly. 

“I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is genuinely bad i'm terribly sorry, next ones gonna be cute tho


	28. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry tenderly patches Ted up and calls him an idiot while fondly gazing at him.  
(Jk)  
(you guys get a little bit of patching up, but like, don’t expect too much)  
(just read the chapter and not the summary)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- blood  
\- bruises  
\- mention of pain  
\- mention of sexual assault  


They did not find ice and Ted didn’t want to go the grocery store ‘just because of his goddamn hands’, so now Henry and Ted are sitting on their bathroom floor and Henry wet a washcloth with cold water, somehow hoping that that will be enough. 

He’s kneeling in front of Ted, carefully dabbing away the blood. 

Ted is just kind of leaning against the wall, letting Henry do whatever. 

“Thank you”, Ted says after a while of silence. 

“No problem”, Henry mumbles, still focused on Teds hands. 

He can feel Teds eyes on him and looks up now. 

Ted is just kind of watching him, his gaze following every movement. Not in a weird way. 

He’s not staring like Mason used to. 

It’s more like he’s deep in thought and forgot he’s staring. 

Henry smiles and that makes Ted snap out of it. 

“Sorry”, he mumbles, looking away. 

“It’s fine”, Henry says. 

“I wasn’t staring.” 

“Mh-mh.”

“I swear.” 

Henry chuckles. “I believe you.”

“Okay.” 

Then Ted is quiet again. 

Henry gets up and washes the cloth, making it cold again, before he kneels back down in front of Ted, wrapping it around his hands. 

“Are you alright? You’re so quiet”, Henry remarks. 

“Yeah.. yeah, I’m good.” 

“Ted, come on.” 

“Don’t worry about me, okay?” 

“If you don’t want me to worry then don’t be a goddamn dick and get injured.” 

“I’m barely injured.” 

“Yeah? What’s up with your ribs then?” 

“What? Nothing”, Ted says, pretending that he didn’t flinch every time Henry accidentally touched his chest. 

Also Henry _saw_ Mason kick him. 

Henry ignored it at first but Ted is a goddamn idiot and Henry has to at least mention that fact. 

“Show me.” 

“You just want to see me shirtless.” 

“Oh fuck you I don’t.” 

“You can admit it darling.” 

“You’re trying to distract from the fact that you’re seriously injured.” 

“I’m not seriously injured, don’t be ridiculous.” 

“Well prove it.” 

Ted hesitates. “I can’t”, he then admits. 

“Ted..”, Henry tries again, softer now, “May I see?” 

“It’s not that bad, he just kicked me in the ribs.” 

“Let me see.” 

Ted hesitates, then he pulls his shirt up. 

There’s a rather large red-ish purple bruise forming on his left side. It’s on his rips right above his waist. 

Henry just stares at it for a moment, trying to keep it in and not tell Ted how much of an asshole he is for not saying anything. 

“Is it bad?”, Ted asks. 

“I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. But it looks fucking painful.” 

Ted chuckles quietly. “Well it is fucking painful.” 

“Do you have difficulties breathing?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” 

“But I mean, it’s not broken or some shit is it?” 

“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t think so.” 

“That’s good then.” 

“Do you want me to get you to Amy?” 

Ted shakes his head. “No.” 

“But maybe you should have a professional look at it.” 

“What is she going to do?” 

“Ted, seriously.” 

“I’ll go if it’s not better tomorrow, okay?” 

Henry hesitates but then gives in and nods. He’s not going to be able to convince Ted to go now anyway. 

It’s quiet afterwards. 

Henry is still holding the washcloth and since it’s all warm again, he just throws it back into the sink. 

He doesn’t get up or wet it again because it doesn’t help anyway, does it? 

“Are you mad at me now because I tried to hide the bruise?”, Ted asks. 

“A little, maybe. You’re really stupid sometimes.” 

“Sorry.” 

“You tell me I should ask for help but you don’t do it yourself.” 

“Maybe I’m a coward then.” 

“Oh come on.” 

“It’s not easy to ask for help, okay?” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“Can we talk about something else?” 

“I guess. What do you want to talk about?”, Henry asks. 

“Anything.” 

“Okay..” Henry starts to think about what they could possibly talk about but soon finds that his brain is empty. 

“For example you and Chad”, Ted just keeps going and Henry smiles. 

How long has he been holding _that _back? 

“What about it?” 

“What’s up with you two?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Sure?” 

“Yes. I just know him from theatre.” 

“Okay.” 

“There’s nothing.” 

“Do you wish there was something?” 

“I don’t know.” Henry lightly shakes his head. 

Ted’s looking at him, tilting his head. 

“He’s pretty good looking.” 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

“I just.. Henry, you should make a move.” 

“What? ..You think so?” 

Ted nods. 

“I don’t know”, Henry mumbles again. 

He did have a light crush on Chad, when he first saw him. 

Chad walked into class wearing ripped jeans and a leather jacket and he had that blue eyeliner and those pierced ears and for a moment Henry had a complete crisis about whether or not he’s into bad guys. (For a moment, he totally was). 

But he kind of calmed down now and he’s not sure if he’s actually interested anymore. 

It also turned out that Chad is not a bad guy, he just likes to play with different images when dressing himself. He’s actually really nice. 

Maybe Henry just thought he was into Chad because Chad is handsome and ridiculously talented. 

“When was the last time you dated anyone?”, Ted keeps going and Henry blushes. 

“Never”, he admits. 

“What?” 

“You heard me.” 

“You’re kidding.” 

“Why would I be kidding?” 

“Look at you!” 

Henry chuckles now, all nervous suddenly. 

“Thanks Ted, but there’s not a single soul on this planet that thinks I’m attractive.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“It’s true.” 

“I’m sure Chad thinks you’re gorgeous.” 

Henry shakes his head. 

“Hen, you’re killing me. What were you doing in that bathroom?” 

Henry smiles now. “We did nothing ..dirty.” That’s how Ted phrased it earlier, wasn’t it?

“Not even a kiss?” 

“No. Why would we make out in a bathroom?“

Ted hesitates for a moment. 

“So that’s not what you and Chad did?”, he then asks. 

“We were just talking.”

Ted raises an eyebrow. “Talking?” 

Henry shrugs now, fumbling with his hands. 

“Not that it matters, but Mason kissing me was my first kiss”, he then quietly admits. 

It’s silent for a moment. 

“First and only?”, Ted then asks. 

Henry nods. 

“I wanted it to be special.” 

“I’m sorry.” Ted looks angry again and Henry thinks about taking his hand to calm him down for a moment, but eventually decides against it. 

He just shrugs lightly. “Well it happened. It’s just that now, when I think about kissing, I think about Masons tongue shoved down my throat and I remember not being able to breath.” 

“You mean you’re afraid of kissing now?” 

“No.. or I don’t know. I’d actually like to kiss someone. I want to know what it’s really like. It wouldn’t even have to mean something, I’d just like to have a good kiss for once. Or at least a better one, a nicer memory.” 

Ted is just looking at him now and Henry hesitates. 

“Does that make sense?” 

Ted frowns, then nods. “Kind of, yes.”

“It’s not like I can just randomly pick anyone anyway. I can’t just come at anyone like ‘kiss me‘. Sometimes I wish I could do that.” 

“I could kiss you”, Ted says, stating it like a fact. “If you really want that.” 

Henry stops functioning for a moment. “Huh?”

“I don’t mind.”

“You’d kiss me?”

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“You just said you want to kiss someone and I kiss a lot of people without it meaning anything. It’s fine by me.”

Henry hesitates. 

He does want to kiss someone. 

But Ted is Ted and if Henry’s being honest, he’s genuinely scared that he will fall in love with him if he kisses him now. 

But also, Ted is _Ted_ and Henry trusts him with his life. 

“For real?”, Henry asks, just to be sure. 

Ted nods, smiling now. 

“I mean, it’s up to you. I don’t wanna make you more uncomfortable than you already are.” 

“No that’s really nice.” 

“Maybe I just am very nice.” 

“You really are.” 

“Nah. But I’m a good kisser if you wanna get on that.” 

“You’re sure that you’re a good kisser?”

“Well I’ve been told.”

Henry rolls his eyes, chuckling lightly. 

“You’re really full of yourself Richards.” 

Ted laughs quietly. 

“You know a good kiss doesn’t need a tongue shoved down someone’s throat for what I know. And a good kiss is only good if both participants give their consent.” 

“Well sounds like you do know stuff.” 

“Everybody should know that.” 

Henry smiles lightly, nodding too, because yes, probably. 

Henry looks at Ted now, watching him. He looks into his eyes and then down to his lips. He wants to kiss him. Maybe to forget about Masons kiss. Or maybe he just wants to kiss him for no reason. 

“I want it.”

“Yeah?”, Ted whispers, surprised but already leaning in a bit. 

His eyes drop to Henrys lips and Henry‘s heart starts to flutter. 

Henry nods. “If you’re okay with that.”

“Of course I am, I offered it.” 

“Well kiss me then.” 

“Okay.” 

Ted scooches closer to Henry, away from the wall. 

Henry can feel Teds fingers on his cheek, moving to his temple and partly into his hair now. 

Then he leans in and Henry leans in as well, almost automatically.

Ted puts his forehead against Henry’s and Henry holds his breath, when their noses rub against each other for a moment. He suddenly remembers that he literally doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. 

How do you kiss? It’s not like anyone ever told him. 

“Sure?”, Ted asks again, his breath hitting Henrys lips. 

“Yeah yeah, just.. what do I do?” 

Ted smiles now and Henry is sincerely hoping that he’s not laughing at him. 

“It’ll come natural.” 

“What if it doesn’t?” 

“Calm down, dear.” 

“Okay.” 

“We don’t have to do this, if you-“ 

“No I want to. I want to, I just don’t want to do bad.” 

Ted pulls away now and Henry immediately comes after, chasing his nearness. “Wait”, he fumbles out. 

“Are you really sure you want this?”, Ted asks again, “I don’t want you to regret it.” 

“I‘m really sure.” 

“Okay.” 

Ted leans closer again. 

Henry does too, secretly hoping that he’s not going to mess it up. 

Ted hesitates for a second, before he leans in completely and his lips meet Henrys. 

Henry closes his eyes, when he sees that Ted did it too. Ted starts to move his lips against Henrys. All soft and careful. Henry tries to mimic Teds movements as good as possible, but he’s really not sure if he’s managing. 

Ted pulls away and Henry slowly opens his eyes again. 

His heart is beating like crazy in his throat. He wants to do it again. He’s sure he could do better this time. 

“Can I try again?”, he fumbles out. 

Ted smiles now. “Yeah.” 

Henry leans closer again, moving his hand up to Teds shoulder this time, maybe to have something to hold on to. His fingers clasp the soft fabric of Teds shirt, then their lips meet again. 

This time, Henry is more sure of himself. Ted slowly lets him take over control and Henry gives his best to not mess that up. 

When they part again, Henry can’t open his eyes for a moment, still leaning in Teds touch.

When he realises that, he pulls away, careful to make sure Ted doesn’t think Henry has feelings for him. Because he doesn’t, does he? No. 

But still, good god. 

“Thank you”, Henry whispers. 

Ted smiles. “You’re welcome.”

“You know you really are a good kisser.” 

Ted chuckles, letting his hand sink from Henrys temple now, gently running his fingers through his hair for a moment. 

“Well thank you Hidgens, so are you”, he says. 

Henry can feel himself blush. 

“Am I?” 

“Yes.” 

They’re quiet for a while. 

“Are you gonna fall in love with me now?”, Ted then asks. 

Henry blushes. “No?!” 

“‘Kay, good, me neither.” Ted sounds breathless somehow. They didn’t kiss that long, did they? 

But Henry feels out of breath as well. Just thinking back to what they just did fills his stomach with butterflies or lightning bugs and it paints a dreamy smile on his face (which he quickly tries to hide). 

He blushes now. 

He’s not falling in love. 

Still his eyes drop back down to Teds lips.  _Henry kissed those. _

Maybe he shouldn’t have. 

Because now he wants to do it again. 


	29. Tiramisu (But In A Stupid, Panicky Way)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry has a stupid crush on Ted now.  
And Frankie visits and when Henry panics he looses his only braincell (at least Ted and his braincell are there to help)

Henry does not sleep that night. 

Not because of the Mason thing, he actually managed to get back to a tolerable sleep schedule after that (with Nancys help that means). 

It’s because of Ted. 

Ted who is sleeping on the opposite side of the room, Ted who is quietly snoring. 

Ted who kissed him. 

Henry knew this would happen but he did it anyway and that’s what he got now. A goddamn crush on his friend. 

That’s just great. 

Henry tried to stay cool throughout the rest of the evening after the kiss, he really did. 

He tried to push his feelings (all jittery and excited) on the fact that he more or less had his first real kiss, trying to ignore that it was with Ted. Ted who is just too fucking perfect. 

The kiss wasn’t even romantic or anything. They were literally sitting on their bathroom floor and just minutes before, Ted had told Henry that he should ask Chad on a date. 

Maybe Henry _should _ask Chad out. Just to get over this. Chad is really nice after all and they share a similar love for musical theatre. That‘s something, isn’t it? 

It could work. 

Henry knows he‘s too self-conscious and too socially awkward to actually ask anyone out, so maybe he won’t do that just yet. But he‘ll keep that as a backup plan, in case things escalate. 

—

“Shit dude”, Emma says, when Henry sits down next to her. 

“Huh?”, he utters, pulling the hood of his hoodie down over his eyes, because the light is too bright and he wants to sleep.

“Usually I’m the tired one”, Emma says. 

“Sorry.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“I didn’t sleep.” 

“Why?” 

Now he blushes. 

“I don’t know. Maybe it was full moon or something”, he lies. 

“Okay you werewolf.” 

Henry smiles and Emma slightly nudges his arm. 

“Frankie texted me that she’s coming, is that true?” 

“Why does Frankie have your number?” 

“We exchanged it last time.” 

“Oh okay.” 

“So she’s coming?” 

“Yeah, tomorrow is my mom’s birthday. She’s gonna be 50.” 

“Oh is it like a big party?” 

“Yeah, kill me now.” 

“So bad?” 

“It’s worse than bad. All of my relatives will be there. My grandma still thinks I’m straight.” 

“Oh shit I’m sorry.” 

“Thanks.” 

“But Frankie will be there!” 

“Yeah.” 

“And hey there will be cake!” 

Henry nods, a smile sneaking on his lips at her attempt to cheer him up. 

“Thank god”, he mumbles. 

Emma reaches for the hood of his hoodie and pulls it off his head now. 

“Wake up.” 

“No.” 

“Are you alright? You know after yesterday?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How’s Ted?” 

“I don’t know. He’s the kind of person who likes to hide injuries. But I think he’s gonna be okay.” 

“Ugh.” 

“How are you?” 

“Great. Paul patched me up romantically and then we made love.” 

“Thank you for that information.” 

“You’re welcome.”

Henry smiles, focusing his attention on Professor Reid now, who just came in. 

His eyes fall on Henry and Emma and he walks towards them. 

“Hey you two”, he says, as soon as he reached them. 

“Hey”, Henry mumbles. 

“So I didn’t find Mason yesterday.” 

“Okay.” 

“But I’m on your side, in case there will be any consequences.” 

“Okay thank you.”

“But I don’t think that Mason is going to complain to some kind of authority.” 

“‘Kay”, Henry whispers, having run out of answers. 

“Was anybody badly injured?” 

Both Henry and Emma shake their heads. 

“I think Mason was the worst”, Emma admits, “but like.. he’s gonna be fine.” 

“I surely hope so.” 

“Yeah”, Henry says. 

“Okay.” Reid just kind of slaps their table. “Have fun in class.” 

“You too”, Emma says. 

“Thank you Emma.” 

And with that he leaves. 

It’s quiet again, until it’s not. 

“Hey dude?”, Emma whispers. 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you know if Charlotte’s okay?” 

Henry hesitates, before he looks at her again. So he wasn’t the only one who noticed. 

“No”, he admits, “She’s acting weird.” 

“Yeah right? Paul said she doesn’t but she does.” 

“Yeah, she’s really quiet.” 

“Can you talk to her?” 

“Why me?” 

“Because you’re..”, she hesitates now, fumbling with her pen. 

“I’m?”, Henry asks. 

“You’re gay.” 

“What does that have to do with it?” 

“I think Charlotte might be gay”, she finally blurts out. 

Henry stops for a second, thinking about it. 

“Why?”, he then asks. 

“She keeps saying stuff about it. Like last week somewhere in the middle of the night she asked me if it’s normal to think about kissing girls. And I was like ‘what do you mean normal?’ And she went ‘well normal for a straight person’.” 

“That doesn’t have to mean anything.” 

“It’s not just that, it’s so much more. I tried to talk to her but she shuts me off every time. I just thought that maybe she’d trust you more with it.” 

“Maybe. I just.. I don’t want to pressure her into outing herself. I mean she probably just needs time. _If _you’re right that means.” 

“Yeah”, Emma mumbles now, sighing quietly. “I’m just so fucking worried about her. Sometimes she spends way too much time in the bathroom and when she comes out she looks all red from crying.” 

“Really?” 

Emma nods lightly. 

Henry rubs his eyes now, letting his head sink into his hands for a moment. 

“Okay”, he mumbles after a while, before he looks up again. “I’ll try and talk to her okay?” 

“Thank you.” 

“I just want her to be okay.” 

“Yeah me too.” 

Then Professor Reid just starts talking, starting class.

—

Frankie comes to get Henry the next morning. 

She already arrived at their parents place the day before and spend the night there, but Henry still had rehearsal that morning so she didn’t get him on the way. 

And since he doesn’t have a car, she volunteered to come get him. 

On the phone she told him that she’s not doing it because she cares about him, but instead because she’s hoping to see Charlotte. So that’s nice. 

Henry is still in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror and staring at his neck, where Masons fingers left bruises once again. 

There is literally no way he’s going to be able to hide that. They’re more vibrant than last time and sitting higher, almost right under his jawline. 

There’s a knock on the door and Henry flinches, before he hurries over to his closet to pull out a turtleneck, slipping into it and hoping that Frankie doesn’t see. 

Then he opens the door and almost gets knocked down by Frankie, who just jumps into his arms. 

“Hi!”, she says. 

He smiles, wrapping his arms around her. 

“Hey.” 

“Where’s Ted?” She lets go of Henry now and let’s her gaze wander through the room. 

“He just had a class, but he should come back soon.” 

Frankie doesn’t even listen anymore, instead her eyes are fixed on Henrys neck now. 

“What the fuck?”, she mumbles, reaching for the collar of Henrys turtleneck to pull it down. He just kind of pushes her away and pulls the turtleneck up. 

“Are those hickeys?”, she asks. 

“That’s nothing.” 

“Henry! Oh my god.” 

“They’re not hickeys!” 

“What is it then?” 

Henry hesitates. What is worse? The truth or pretending that it is, indeed, hickeys?

“Hickeys”, Henry finally gives in. 

“Who gave them to you?”

“Ted.”

This is getting worse and worse the more he says. 

Frankie smiles, her eyes widening. 

“No way!” 

“Yes.” 

“Are you dating?” 

“Kind of.” 

“Oh my god! For real?” 

“Yeah..” 

She hugs him now. “Henry has his first boyfriend!” 

“Frankie-“ 

“And they were roommates”, she whispers. 

He pushes her away. 

“Shut up.” 

“Hey, I literally have to pee so bad, but we’re not done talking about this.” 

“Okay.” 

She disappears in the bathroom and then it’s quiet. 

Henry looks at the door, thinking about fleeing the country and changing his name. Then a key turns in the lock and Ted steps in. 

Henry stares at him for a moment, before he realises what he just did.

Then he just kind of hurries to Ted, closing the door and pulling him as far away from the bathroom door as possible. 

“Tiramisu”, he whispers. 

“What why?” 

Ted whispers as well, maybe because it’s contagious. 

“Frankie is here.” 

“You told _Frankie _we’re dating?”

“Kind of? She saw the bruises on my neck and thought they were hickeys and I told her you did it.” 

Ted tilts his head now. 

“Darling..” 

“I’m sorry!” 

“Don’t you think you should tell your family at some point?” 

“Yes maybe but not now, okay?” 

Henry is terrified of telling them. They will be worried and they will treat him like he’s going to die soon, it’s going to be so weird. 

Ted hesitates. 

“Please Ted. Please please please”, Henry whispers, reaching for his hands now. 

Ted nods. “Okay”, he says, “Okay, calm down, I’ll help you, yeah?”

Henry just hugs Ted. “Thank you, you’re saving my life.” 

Ted chuckles. “Don’t be so dramatic, darling.” 

The bathroom door swings open and Henry turns back around to Frankie, letting go of Ted. 

He can feel Ted step behind him, wrapping his arms around Henry and Henry can’t help but smile at how quickly Ted slipped into his role. 

Also there’s his heart, just freaking out about Ted’s nearness. 

His heart has been a goddamn asshole anyway, since the kiss. Just loosing it every time Ted is near. 

Henry is trying his best to just ignore it but it can’t shut up for one second. 

“Hi Ted”, Frankie says, watching them. 

“Hey”, Ted says, resting his head against Henrys. 

“What’s up with the black eye?”, Frankie asks. 

“I got into a fight.”   


“Are you alright?”   


“Of course.” Ted gifts her a smile. 

Frankie just stares at them for a moment, until a smile forms on her lips. 

“This is not a prank, is it?” 

“What?”, Ted asks. 

“You guys are dating for real?” 

“Of course we are. How long do you think I could bear living with him without at least giving it a try?”, Ted says, his hands clinging to Henrys waist as he pulls him closer, swaying now and pulling Henry along, making him laugh quietly. 

“So you asked Henry out?” 

“Yes. Right, darling?” 

Ted kisses Henrys cheek and Henry actually blushes at that. What did he get himself into? 

“Yeah”, he fumbles out. 

“So you.. gave him those hickeys?”, Frankie asks, still questioning the truth of the whole situation. Probably because it’s really absurd. Why would Ted date Henry? 

“Yeah I did”, Ted says, “I did, while we were passionately making love.” 

He nuzzles his head in Henrys neck while Henry chokes on his own saliva, coughing aggressively. Henry can feel Ted grin against his skin, because apparently he’s that kind of asshole. 

“You good babe?”, Ted asks and Henry nods, slowly calming down again, while wishing that he had left the country when he still had the chance. Frankies jaw dropped. 

“Okay”, she says, “okay okay okay.” She nods lightly. “Okay.”

“Are you alright?”, Henry asks. 

Frankie nods again. 

“Yeah of course. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” 

“It’s pretty fresh.” 

“How fresh?” 

“Two weeks”, Ted says. 

“No way!” 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you.. Henry are you taking him to moms birthday?” 

“No”, Henry says, “No, he has to study.” 

Even if they were actually dating, he wouldn‘t do that, because of his grandma. He can‘t just bring a boyfriend, he‘s still straight to her. 

“Yeah, I have to study”, Ted plays along. 

“Oh okay. Would have been fun.” 

“It’s kinda early, don’t you think?”, Henry asks. 

Frankie shrugs. “I don’t know. Are you telling mom and dad?” 

“No”, Henry says, a little too quickly. He doesn’t need to lie to more people. 

He can hear Ted chuckle next to his ear. 

“Maybe you can come later?”, Frankie asks Ted. 

“Yeah, maybe”, Ted says, looking at Henry now. 

Henry turns to him and their noses bump into each other. 

Ted looks him right in the eyes and for a moment Henry thinks that Ted is going to kiss him. And Henry knows that he told Ted to not kiss him on the mouth when they are tiramisu-dating but for a moment, he wishes he would. 

Then Ted smiles and places a quick kiss on Henrys nose, before he looks back at Frankie, leaving a flustered Henry behind. 

“When are you guys leaving?” 

“I don’t know, I kind of..” She hesitates. 

Henry smiles, because he knows what she wants to say. She wants to see Charlotte, she wants to ‘just look at her beauty for a while’. Henry had rolled his eyes at that when they were on the phone but he also promised her that he would get her to the others. 

“She wants to see the others first”, Henry finishes for her. 

Frankie nods, blushing lightly. 

She’s Henry’s sister but Henry has barely ever seen her as flustered as she is right now. 

“Oh okay”, Ted says. 

“Do you wanna come?”, Frankie asks. 

“No I’ll.. stay here and study.” 

“Okay, well have fun.” 

“I certainly will. You too.” 

He lets go of Henry now as Frankie already goes over to the door. _Someone _can’t wait to see Charlotte. 

“Bye Ted”, Frankie says, throwing him one last smile. 

“Bye Frankie, bye babe.” 

Henry smiles at the petname, turning around to Ted one last time. 

“Bye. Go and study now.” 

”Fuck you.” 

Henry chuckles, before following Frankie outside. 


	30. Frankie Is Clearly In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frankie and Charlotte meet again, also Henry cries in the car

“Is this a prank?”, Frankie asks, when they walk to the girls dorms. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You and Ted dating.” 

“No?” 

“It’s just.. so absurd.” 

Henry drops his gaze to the floor, avoiding hers. It _is _absurd. If he was Frankie, he probably wouldn’t believe it either. 

“Why is it absurd?”, he asks.

“I don’t know. It’s just really fucking weird.” 

“Okay.” 

“Do you think Charlotte will be happy to see me?” 

“No, she’ll probably hide in the bathroom to avoid you.” 

“Fuck you.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Did you spruce yourself up?“, Henry then asks, eyeing her. Her lipstick is particularly red today, isn‘t it? And she‘s wearing a flowery cord-dress. 

“Yeah, for mom’s birthday.” 

“Not for Charlotte?” 

“Just shut up.” 

“You did.” 

“No.” 

“Just admit the truth.” 

“No.” 

“I know I’m right.”

“Yeah I hope you’re proud of yourself you dick.” 

Henry just chuckles, opening the door for Frankie now. 

She steps into the corridor, rubbing her hands on her dress. 

“How do I look?”, she whispers. 

“Gorgeous”, Henry says. 

She smiles. “Yeah?” 

“You always do.” 

“That’s so sweet, can I make an audio of you saying that?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry knocks on Emma’s and Charlottes door and Charlotte opens. 

A bright smile forms on her lips when she sees Frankie, then she just runs into her arms. “Frankie!” 

“Hi!”, Frankie says, looking over Charlottes shoulder at Henry and winking at him, a bright smile on her lips. 

He rolls his eyes, before going past them inside the room. 

“I love your hair!”, Henry can hear Charlotte say and he doesn’t even have to turn around to know that Frankie is probably blushing like hell. 

Her hair is still shoulder length, Henry cut it for her after Christmas. They also dyed it blue but that mostly washed out by now. There’s still a soft blue glow over it, but it’s barely noticeable. 

Still, it looks really cool, so of course Charlotte would notice. 

Emma sat on her bed, but is in the process of getting up when Henry steps inside. 

“Hi Henry”, she says. 

“Hey.” 

She looks past him to the door.

“Is that Frankie?” 

Henry nods. 

“Oh, I’m gonna say hi.”

Henry manages to reach for her waist, holding her back. 

“Give them a minute”, he whispers. 

“What? Why?” 

He raises an eyebrow, nodding towards them, still embracing. 

“Oh shit”, Emma whispers, getting all exited now. “Shit shit shit!” 

“Ssh”, Henry makes, pulling her away. 

“I didn’t know Frankie’s into Char!”, Emma quietly goes on, “She’s gay?”

“Pan”, Henry corrects her. Frankie gave him the okay to tell people. She also made sure to tell him that it’s more than okay if he wants to tell Charlotte that she’s into girls. “You know, maybe she’d like to know”, Frankie had said on the phone. 

Henry didn’t tell Charlotte yet, mostly because it never came up. 

They’re talking now, all excited and Henry leans against the table, sighing because this is going to take forever, probably.

“Dude why are you wearing a turtleneck?”, Emma asks now, leaning against the table as well, right next to him. 

“To hide those”, Henry says, pulling the collar down a little to reveal the bruises. 

“I mean, I can totally still see them”, Emma says. 

“I know.” 

“Did Frankie notice?” 

“Yeah. She thought they were hickeys and now Ted and I are dating.” 

Emma frowns. “What?” 

“We’re not really dating, we’re just.. fake-dating in front of Frankie because I panicked and he played along.” 

“Shit Henry.” 

“Yeah, do you want to help me disappear?” 

“Nuh uh, you stay here.” 

“But can you play along, in case Frankie asks you about it?” 

“Sure.” 

“Thank you. We’ve been dating for about two weeks. He asked me out.” 

“Okay. ..But you should tell her about Mason someday.” 

“I don’t want it to be weird. And I can’t get myself to say it anyways. Every time I think about telling my family, I just want to cry.” 

“Okay, I mean, no pressure. I’ve got you covered.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Ted played along?” 

“Yeah. I was his fake boyfriend before too. It’s not a big deal.” 

“Okay? Interesting.” 

“Shut it.” 

Emma smiles, nudging his arm. 

“Hey, by the way, Paul is kind of planning to apologise to Ted.” 

“Really? How did it come to that?” 

“Paul’s been thinking about Ted a lot recently, you know since you said all that stuff.”   


“Oh.”   
  
“He feels really bad, he keeps talking about how much he fucked up and so I told him ‘dude why don’t you just apologise?’ and now he wants to do it.”   
  
“You encouraged it? You hate Ted.”   


“Ugh, yeah, but I guess he’s alright, since you like him. Also Paul misses him. Not that he’d admit it.” 

“Yeah Ted is awesome.” 

“Don’t come at me with awesome now, all I said was that he’s a decent human being.”   


“I think you two would get along greatly, you’re very similar.”   


“No we’re not!” She looks really offended so Henry leaves it at that. 

“Okay whatever you say.” 

“Just don’t tell him about Paul, okay? Paul is a coward, I don’t know how long it will take until he actually apologised.” 

Henry raises an eyebrow. 

“What?”, she says, “It’s a fact. I didn’t say I’m not into it, it’s fucking cute. He’s so awkward sometimes. He keeps making me want to-“ 

“Are you gonna say something perverted?” 

“Yes?” 

“Then don’t. Please.” 

“‘Kay.” 

Emma looks over at Charlotte and Frankie again, tilting her head. 

“When are they done?” 

Henry shrugs. “An hour?” 

— 

Half an hour later, Henry and Frankie are walking back to Henrys and Teds room, because Henry still has to get the present he got for his mom. He totally forgot about it earlier. 

“Oh, I want to marry her”, Frankie mumbles, a dreamy smile on her lips. 

“How about you take it slow and ask her on a date first?” 

“Yeah, I should probably try that first.” 

Henry nods, while fumbling out his keys. 

“Do you think there’s a possibility she could fall in love with me?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“So no?” 

“No, I literally have no clue.” 

“Okay.. well I think I might have already fallen in love with her.” 

“Don’t you think that’s a little early?” 

“Not when it’s true love, it isn’t.” 

“Okay, I guess.” 

Henry unlocks the door and steps inside now. Ted is sitting cross-legged on his bed, his laptop in front of him. 

He looks up for a moment, then he smiles, then he says: “Hello honeybear.” 

“Shut up”, Henry mumbles, smiling at how stupid Ted is, while going over to his table to get the present. 

“I love you too”, Ted says. 

“Ted do you think Charlotte could fall in love with me?”, Frankie asks. 

Ted looks up, all surprised for a moment. “I mean.. I barely know her.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

“Are you into Charlotte?” 

“Not just _into her_. I’ve fallen hopelessly and deep.” 

Ted looks at Henry now and Henry just lightly shakes his head because Frankie is really dramatic sometimes. 

“I mean, maybe?”, Ted says, “I wouldn’t eliminate the possibility completely.” 

“Thanks, you’re nicer than Henry.” 

Henry opens his mouth to defend himself, but then decides to just give up. “Okay, we’re leaving.” 

“Okay”, Frankie says, “bye Ted.” 

Ted nods at her and Frankie leaves the room. 

Henry goes over to Ted, leaning closer to him, supporting himself by pinning his hands on the mattress. 

“Thank you”, he whispers. 

Ted smiles. “Of course.” 

“I’ll buy you coffee for this.” 

Ted chuckles. “Henry, you’ve done this for me often enough. I think we’re good.” 

“I’ll still buy you coffee.” 

“Okay, thank you.” 

“Study now.” 

“I don’t have to study.” 

Henry smiles. “You can always study.” 

“Shut up you nerd.” 

Henry leans closer to place a kiss on Teds cheek, before pushing himself away.

“Thanks again, bye.” 

“Bye, have fun.” 

“I won’t.” 

“Okay.” 

Frankie raises an eyebrow when Henry steps into the corridor, closing the door behind himself. 

“What took so long? You’re gonna see him again soon enough.” 

“Let me live, would you?” 

“Yeah, okay.” 

Paul comes towards them now. 

“Hey guys”, he says, looking past them at the door to Henrys and Teds room. 

“Hi”, Frankie says. 

“Hey”, Paul says again, gifting her a little smile. “Is Ted in there?”, he then asks, pointing at the door. 

Henry nods. “Yes.” 

“Okay. ..Okay. Okay”, he claps his hands together, nodding, all nervous. “Okay.” 

“Paul?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Are you alright?” 

“I want to apologise to him.”

“Okay.” 

“It’s just that I’m scared.” 

“He’s not going to murder you.” 

“I’ve been a real asshole to him. I wouldn’t blame him if he did.” 

“Paul, calm down okay?” 

Paul closes his eyes and takes a breath and nods. 

“He misses you too”, Henry says. 

Paul opens his eyes, a surprised look glazing his face. “Yeah?” 

Henry nods. 

“I always pretend I don’t but I really miss him, you know”, Paul admits. 

“You can do it. Just go and knock and apologise.” 

“You say that like it’s so easy.” 

“It’s not easy, I know that.” 

“I’m going to do it.” 

“Okay.” 

Paul nods. “Okay.” 

Then he walks past Frankie and Henry to the door, knocking on it. 

Henry reaches for Frankies arm and leads her outside, wanting to give them privacy. 

“Do you think they’re gonna reconcile?”, Frankie asks. 

Henry shrugs. “I don’t know, I hope so.” 

They step outside and Frankie points in a random direction. “I parked over there.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry lets his gaze wander over the quadrangle of the campus and stops on one particular person. 

He reaches for Frankies arm out of reflex, clinging to it now. Either to protect her or himself. 

Is that Mason? It certainly looks enough like him to make Henry freak out. 

“Ouch, your hurting me”, Frankie says, pulling on his fingers to get rid of his grip around her arm. 

“Sorry”, Henry mumbles, quickly letting go. 

He looks back at the guy, who turned around by now. It’s not Mason. 

“What is up?”, Frankie asks. 

“Nothing”, Henry quickly says, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. 

“Okay..” 

She doesn’t believe him. Of course she doesn’t, she’s smart. 

They walk in silence until they reach the car. 

“I’m driving”, Frankie says and Henry only nods. 

— 

It’s quiet when they sit in the car. Frankie is driving too fast and usually Henry would say something about it, but in that particular moment, he couldn’t care less. 

He’s sweaty because of the stupid turtleneck and his heart is still beating, more rapid that usually because of that guy that looked like Mason from afar. He feels like shit. 

“Aren’t you hot?”, Frankie asks, “In that turtleneck?” 

“Kinda.” 

“It’s like 80 degrees.“ 

“It’s not.” 

“Everybody’s gonna get suspicious. You know I can see the hickeys anyway.” 

“Well what am I supposed to do?” 

“I can help you hide them later, I think we have about the same skin tone. My makeup should work for you.”

“You can do that?” 

“Duh.” 

“Thank you.” 

It’s quiet for a while, then Frankie starts talking again. 

“You’re not dating Ted are you?” 

Henry looks up, surprised because somehow he thought she had bought it. 

“Why would you think that?” 

“You guys are horrible liars.” 

Henry chuckles nervously. “We’re not.” 

“Yeah you are.” 

“Ugh.” 

“I mean, it would be dope. Ted is cool, I’d love to have him as a brother-in-law, but you’re not dating.” 

“Yeah, no, we’re not”, Henry admits, blushing at the thought of Ted being Frankies brother-in-law. Because that would obviously mean that Ted and Henry are married. 

“So.. I mean if you don’t wanna tell me what’s really going on with your neck, you can say that. I just.. you seem uncomfortable. Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry chews on his lip now, clutching his hands together while he tries to find the courage to just tell her. 

He can tell her, she’s Frankie. She’s his favourite person. She’s not going to be weird about it. 

“Those aren’t hickeys”, he finally blurts out, “It’s..” 

“No?” 

Henry hesitates now. He can’t even bring himself to say it. 

“I..” 

He can see her throwing glances at him, her gaze switching between the street and him. 

“It’s bruises”, Henry fumbles out somehow, “From.. you know..” 

“From? I.. I don’t know?” 

Henry just kind of puts his hand to his neck to show her. 

She raises an eyebrow. 

“Choking?” 

Henry shrugs and nods. 

“What? Not.. like consensual was it?”

“Good god Frankie, why would I consent to someone choking me?” 

“I don’t know what you’re into.” 

Henry just lightly shakes his head and stares out of the window now, so he doesn’t have to look at her. 

There’s a lumb in his throat, pushing the tears up in his eyes. He blinks rapidly, fighting against it. But it’s helpless, he’s going to cry, isn’t he? 

“Shit”, Frankie mumbles now, before she just pulls over to the side of the road, turning off the engine. 

“What are you doing?”, Henry asks. His voice sounds whinier than he meant it to. 

“Are you crying?”, Frankie asks. 

“No”, Henry says, as the first tear rolls. 

“What happened?” 

Henry just shrugs, because he can’t get himself to say it. 

He throws a quick glance at her, before looking back at the road. She’s frowning, all concerned. 

“Henry..”, she whispers. 

He sniffles now, when he can’t hold it back anymore, running his hand over his cheeks to push the tears away. It’s not like it works, there are new ones following immediately. 

He didn’t want to cry. He really didn’t mean to. But it’s not like he can help it. Maybe it’s the memory, maybe the look on her face, maybe both. 

He opens his mouth to say something, to tell her, but nothing comes out. 

“Someone choked you?”, she tries to help now. 

Henry nods. 

“What did he want? Was he robbing you?” 

Henry shakes his head. 

“I didn’t want to tell you”, he just fumbles out. 

“Why?” 

“It’s embarrassing.” 

“Hey, no. I can murder whoever did this to you, okay?” 

Henry lightly shakes his head. 

“Can you just drive?” 

“Hen..” 

“Please. We’re already late.” 

“Henry talk to me.” 

“I don’t want to!” He raised his voice more than he intended and it’s quiet afterwards.

He immediately regrets it.

He wants to say something, wants to apologise but he doesn’t get a single word out. 

“I’m sorry”, Frankie finally whispers, before she starts the car again. 


	31. Family Gatherings (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry‘s mom is celebrating her birthday and Henry‘s whole family is there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- homophobia  
\- mention of sexual assault  
\- Henrys grandma probably voted for Trump

“Come on”, Frankie says, as soon as they stepped into their house, quickly pulling him up the stairs. 

“What? No, I should go to mom first”, Henry protests. 

“No I’ll help you cover up the bruises first. Do you want her to get a heart attack?” 

Henry gives up because she’s right. 

She just kind of pushes him towards his room. “Get out of that goddamn pullover, I’ll be with you in a bit, yeah?” 

He nods and goes into his room, stopping for a moment to look at it. It’s weird how it’s been months since he last was in there but everything still looks exactly the same. 

He slowly goes over to his closet, peeling off the turtleneck on the way. He’s all sweaty underneath, which is why he goes for deodorant first. 

Frankie comes into his room, closing the door behind herself right after he slipped into a new T-Shirt. 

“Okay, sit down”, she says, not looking him in the eyes and he feels really bad again, for snapping at her earlier. 

Henry sits down on his bed and she sits next to him. 

“Turn to me.” 

Henry turns to her, while she avoids his gaze. Maybe because she’s focused on his neck, maybe because she doesn’t want to look at him. 

“I’m sorry”, Henry says, “for snapping.” 

She looks up for a moment, before focusing on the stuff she brought. 

“It’s fine.” 

“No, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.” 

“I should have respected your boundaries.” 

Henry shrugs lightly. 

She starts smearing something on his neck now, frowning and staring at it afterwards. 

“Damn we really do have the exact same skin tone”, she then says. 

“It’s almost like we’re related”, Henry deadpans. 

She smiles. “Shut up.” 

“Okay, sorry.” 

“Chin up?” 

He follows her instructions and she’s done in like two minutes. 

“Can I.. put some of it under your eyes? They’re kinda reddened.” 

He just nods, so she proceeds. 

“Thank you”, he mumbles after a while. 

She nods. 

“Of course I’ll help you.” 

Henry reaches for her face and leans closer to kiss her cheek. 

“Thank you really.” 

“Ew”, she just mumbles, letting the back of her hand wander over her cheek. 

“Fuck you, I’m trying to show affection here.” 

“You’re slobbery.” 

“I’m not!” 

“Yes you are, is Ted into that?” 

“Shut up.” Henry blushes. 

“Sorry, I forgot you’re not dating for a second there.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“I’m sure he’d be into it.” 

“I’m not slobbery.” 

“Yes you are.” 

“I hate you.” 

She just leans closer and kisses his cheek. 

“Oh”, she mumbles, immediately afterwards. 

“What?” 

“I put lipstick there.” 

“Ugh.” 

“Better than your fucking saliva”, she says while rubbing it off. 

“I’m never gonna kiss you again.” 

“Yeah, go and smooch Ted instead.” 

Henry sighs and lets himself sink backwards on his bed. 

“You guys would be fucking awesome together, admit it”, she says. 

“Let it go, Franks. It won’t happen.” 

“Never say never.” 

“We should go downstairs.” 

“I guess. The party is in the garden though.” 

“Is it?” 

She nods. 

“Ugh.” He groans. 

“Come on, sit up.” He sits up and she reaches for his face, lifting it up to look at his neck one last time. 

“I should be a make-up artist”, she then mumbles before getting up. 

“Probably”, Henry says, following her to the door. 

She opens it.

“After you.” 

— 

Henry hates his relatives. Not all of them, of course. But he hates his grandma and his aunt and their conservative views. From his dads side that means. His mom’s family is alright. But his dads family is the worst, even Henry’s dad is mad at them all the time.

Henry avoids them, as good as he can, usually. 

But somehow, just somehow he ended up sitting opposite of them. 

He sat there first, just for the record. Then they came and he didn’t want to be rude and just leave. He wishes he had left. 

“When are you going to bring a nice girl to one of these festivities?”, his grandma asks, leaning over the table closer to him. 

“Never”, Henry mumbles, looking around for Frankie or someone who could save him. 

“Oh come on, a nice boy like you should have a girlfriend.” 

The thing is, Henry usually plays along. Because she’s old and he doesn’t know what she would do if he told her. But at that moment, at that particular moment, he’s about to say it. He stares at her, about to open his mouth and just blurt it out. “I’m gay! I’m gay, fuck you.” 

But he doesn’t, he just stares at her and then his dad comes to save him. 

“Hey Mom!”, he says, sitting down next to Henry and putting his hand on his shoulder to calm him down. 

Henry takes a breath, letting go of the fork he was clinging to. 

“Earl! We were just talking about Henrys love life.” 

“Were you? That’s great! Do you like the salad? Erin made it.” 

“Did she? It’s amazing.” 

Henry looks at his dad, mouthing a ‘thank you’ and getting an encouraging smile for an answer. 

“Hey Henry, your mom was looking for you, would you go and find her?” 

Henry nods, not sure if she actually did or if that’s part of his dad’s rescue plan. He still gets up, more than relieved. 

He finds her in the kitchen. 

“Hey mom.” 

“Hey.” She smiles brightly. 

“Were you looking for me?” 

“No?” 

“Okay, then dad just said it to rescue me from grandma.” 

“Oh, did she corner you?” 

“More or less, yeah.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, I made it out alive.” 

“Now that you’re here, you can help me if you want to.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Can you carry these outside to the buffet?” 

She hands him two cheese plates. 

“Isn’t that.. a lot?”, he asks, staring at it. 

“No, they love cheese.” 

“Okay.” 

“Thank you.” 

“No problem.” 

He brings the plates outside, setting them down on the buffet. 

“Hey Henry, your father interrupted us earlier”, his grandma appears next to him. 

Henry suppresses a groan and turns to her instead. 

“I don’t want to talk about girls”, he says, because he ran out of fucks to give. 

He’s tired and his eyes are still burning from crying and he just wants to sleep. 

One night wasn’t enough to catch up the sleep he didn’t have two nights ago. It’s not like he slept well last night either. 

He feels like he got run over by a monster truck. 

“Why?” She looks confused now. 

“Because I don’t like them.” 

“Oh, I thought you were out of that age. You will like them soon enough.” 

“No, I-“ 

“Grandma! Great dress”, Frankie says, just shutting Henry up by putting her hand over his mouth. Probably for his own good. He would have regretted this. 

“Thank you”, their grandma says, “Yours is a little short, isn’t it?” 

Frankie rolls her eyes. “Well I like it that way.” 

“Girls shouldn’t wear short dresses. Men won’t know how to keep their hands to themselves.” 

“Sounds like the men’s problem.” 

“You’re giving them ideas, dressing like that.” 

Henry wishes he could just grab Frankie and run away with her. But she’s still fighting, still has arguments it appears, so he lets her let it out. 

“Full offence granny, but if a grown ass man looks at me and gets a boner, then he’s the problem and not me.” 

“Frankie!” 

“What about men? Men get raped and sexually harassed too. Most of them don’t wear short dresses or show too much boob.” 

Henry tenses, trying desperately not to think about Mason. 

“Men can’t get sexually harassed.” 

“Excuse me?”, Henry blurts out, regretting that he said something almost right away. 

“That’s a fact”, she says. 

“No it’s not.”

“Women don’t do those kind of things.” 

“Yeah they do? And there’s men doing it to men as well.” 

“Well that is a completely different kind of sin.” 

“What?” 

“Henry-“, Frankie starts, but he shuts her up by holding his hand up for a moment. He‘s not sure why he‘s doing this to himself, arguing with his grandma. He knows he‘s right but he‘s never going to change her mind anyways. 

“If a gay man is assaulted, that’s clearly gods way of punishment“, she now says, very sure of herself. 

“So what you’re saying is, he’d deserve it?” 

“Probably, yes.” 

“Have you ever been sexually harassed?” 

“No, because I dress accurately.” 

“No, you’re fucking lucky.” 

“Why are you so mad? You shouldn’t swear like that.” 

“What is going on here?”, Henry’s dad asks, appearing next to Frankie. 

“Your son is mad at me it seems”, their grandma says, all calm and it makes Henry even angrier. 

“Fuck you”, Henry says, tears forming in his eyes now. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I said fuck you!”, Henry repeats, slower this time.   


She gasps, looking at Henry’s dad now, maybe for support. 

“Earl?!” 

“I hope you rot in hell”, Henry goes on.   
  
“What happened?”, Henry’s dad asks again, even more careful this time. 

“Would you be happy if I told you I was sexually assaulted? Would you say I deserved it?”, Henry asks his grandma. 

“Of course not.” 

“Well but.. And if I was gay?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not.” 

“I am.”

“What?”

“Gay.” 

She’s quiet after that, just staring at him in shock. 

“So tell me-”, Henry goes on, he wants to stay strong but his voice keeps breaking. “Did I deserve it?”

“Henry..”, Frankie mumbles. 

“No”, Henry whispers, not daring to look at his grandma anymore. 

This isn’t even worth it.  
A tear rolls over his cheek and he takes a few steps back, because he doesn’t want to cry in front of everybody. 

“Go to hell”, he just says, before he turns around and runs back into the house. 

‘Fuck her’, he thinks, ‘fuck her fuck her fuck_ her_’. 

Of course she follows him. 

“Henry wait!”

Henry does not wait, he goes for the stairs instead. 

“Henry, I had no idea! It’s okay, you know? I’m sure there’s something we can do about this. You don’t have to stay gay.”

“What the fuck?”, Henry whispers, more to himself than to her. 

She gets a hold of his wrist and pulls him back. “Henry it’s not too late!” 

“You let go of my son right now!” So that’s Henrys dad coming in. He’s closely followed by Frankie. 

“Earl! You can’t possibly be okay with this”, she says. 

“Henry is perfectly fine the way he is.” 

Frankie is at Henry now and reaches for his wrist, pulling it out of their grandmas grip. 

“What is going on here?”, Henry’s mom asks, coming out of the kitchen. 

“Did you know it Erin?”, their grandma asks, “That your son is a-“

“Don’t you fucking dare!”, Henry’s dad shouts before she can say it, before she can use some kind of slur.

It’s quiet for a moment. 

Henry can’t breath. He just kind of gasps for air, feeling like something is pressing down on his chest. 

Frankie is still holding his wrist, reaching for his arm now and pulling him to the stairs. 

“Come on”, she whispers, leading him away from their parents and their grandma. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let‘s all collectively hate Henrys grandma and love his dad


	32. Family Gatherings (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry tells his dad and Frankie about Mason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of sexual assault

Frankie opens the door to Henrys room and Henry stumbles in, going for the wall next to the door immediately and sinking down on the floor, when the crying takes over, making him sob loudly, gasping for a breath every now and then to be able to breath at all. 

“Hey”, Frankie whispers, kneeling down in front of him. 

“Sorry”, Henry sobs. 

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started arguing with her.” 

Henry shrugs. 

Both of them should have ran when they had the chance. 

“I ruined mom’s birthday.” 

“No, grandma did.” 

“Do you think dad’s mad at me?” 

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous, he’s obviously on your side.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Henry-..”, she hesitates, before she whispers: “Sexual assault? Is that what.. what happened?” 

Henry pulls his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around them to have something to hold on to. 

He tilts his head now, as he fights with himself to keep talking, choking out sobs instead of forming words. 

Then he settles on nodding again. 

Frankie clasps her hand over her mouth, still staring at him. Tears formed in her eyes.

Henry takes a breath now, letting his face fall on his knees. It’s easier when he’s not looking at her. 

He can hear her scooch closer. 

She sits down next to him, turning to him completely, before she wraps her arms around him, pulling him close and he just lets himself fall against her, crying in her hair. 

The door opens again but Henry doesn’t look up. He just kind of trusts Frankie to send that person away, if it’s someone he doesn’t want to see. 

“Dad”, he can her Frankie whisper, her voice cracking. 

It sounds more like a cry for help. 

The door closes again and then Henry feels a hand on the back of his head. 

“Henry..?”, his dad asks softly. 

“Sorry”, Henry mumbles in Frankies hair. 

“It’s okay. Look at me, would you?” 

Henry pushes himself away from Frankie and looks at his dad. His expression is worried, sad. 

He reaches for Henrys face and dries his tears with his thumbs. 

“Henry if you want to talk about something, you can always come to us, you know that?”, he asks. 

Henry nods. 

He does know that. It’s just that he’s scared, always too afraid to make things weird.  
He’s never been good at sharing his feelings, especially not if he knows they could possibly evoke commiseration. 

He doesn’t like feeling pathetic and he _knows_ it’s ridiculous because none of this is actually his fault but still. 

“Is there something you want to talk about?”, his dad asks. 

Henry shrugs, feeling Frankies eyes sit on him. 

“I would do everything to help you if you’re in trouble”, his dad says. 

And Henry wants to tell him, because he knows he needs help, he just really can’t say it. 

“Frankie can you?”, he just mumbles. 

“Tell him what you just told me?”, she asks. 

Henry nods. Maybe if she starts, he’ll be able to finish. 

“Okay”, she says. 

“What did he tell you?”, their dad asks Frankie. 

“There’s been sexual assault”, Frankie says, “done-.. done to Henry, I think. I don’t know more.” 

Her voice is shaking. 

Henry sees his dad looking at him, in his peripheral vision, but he can‘t get himself to look up so he just stares at the floor and nods. 

“Oh Henry”, his dad whispers. 

Henry sniffles. “Sorry”, he chokes out, not even sure what he’s sorry about. 

“What are you apologising for?” 

“I don’t know”, Henry admits. 

“Who did that to you? Do you have the name?” 

“A guy. Mason ..Brooks, I think.” 

“Do you want to go to the police and file a report?” 

His dad. Ever the clear-headed one.

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you want to tell us what happened?” 

Henry shrugs. He wants to tell them. Because maybe they can help, maybe they can make this nightmare end. 

So he tells them everything.

— 

When he’s done, it’s quiet for a while. 

Now all three of them are crying. 

Especially Frankie looks miserable, just flinching every time Henry sobs. 

Henry takes a breath and lets his hands run over his cheeks, drying them as good as he possibly can. 

He feels his dad reach of his shoulder, pulling him closer and he lets it happen, sinking into a hug that is almost a little too strong. 

“Dad”, he whispers. 

“Sorry.” 

His dad lets go a little, giving Henry some room to breath. 

“Thank you for telling us, that was very brave”, his dad then says, kind of quiet and a little shaky. 

“I don’t know what to do. He’s everywhere. And now that my friends beat him up, he probably just got angrier”, Henry mumbles. 

“You know, George is a lawyer.” 

George is his dads best friend. Henry didn’t even think about him. 

“What?” 

“Maybe he can help you get a restraining order. Or maybe he can even put him behind bars.” 

“You think so?” 

“We’d have to get over the facts, see if there’s enough evidence.”

“It’s.. I’m not the only one.” 

“The only what?” 

“The only victim.” 

“There’s more?” 

“At least one.” 

“Do you know him?” 

Henry nods. 

“Do you think he’d be ready to talk about it? To the police that means.” 

“I don’t know. I’d have to ask him.” 

“Okay. Do you want me to ask George?” 

Henry nods, relieved that there might actually be a way. 

“I can’t take this anymore”, he whispers. 

His dad pulls him closer and Henry lets him, even if he kind of makes it hard for Henry to breath. 

“I’ve got you, okay?”, his dad whispers, “We’ll end this.” 

Henry nods, loosing a quiet sob on the way as the relief makes it’s way into Henrys heart. 

“Thank you.” 

“It’s okay”, his dad says, his voice soft and comforting, “It’s okay, we’ll end this.” 

— 

His dad went back down but told Henry it’s okay if he doesn’t want to. Frankie left too, but just to make tea for Henry, promising him she’ll be back. 

Henry kicked off his shoes and is sitting on his bed now. He feels bad because it’s his moms birthday after all and he doesn’t want to be a party killer but he also really can’t go back down there. 

His dad told his mom that Henry is okay, but still a little off because of the coming out, so he’s going to stay in his room for a while. His mom was okay with it, but very worried, which is why she came up to make sure he’s okay and Henry lied to her, saying that he is. 

He doesn’t want her to be worried on her birthday, so he told his dad and Frankie to keep their mouths shut until after the party. 

There’s a knock on the door and Henry knows it’s Frankie before she slips inside. He’s been living with his family long enough to be able to differ their knocks from each other. 

Frankie is holding two cups of tea and puts them down on Henrys nightstand table now. 

“Grandma left, dad sent her home”, she says. 

“Mh”, Henry just makes. 

“Feeling better?”, she asks quietly, seeming still in shock from everything she found out that day. 

“Yeah”, Henry lies, still feeling horrible, “I’m sorry you had to listen to that, you seem disturbed.” 

“No”, she says, shaking her head, “This isn’t about me. I’m sorry we didn’t make you feel safe enough to talk about it earlier.” 

“Good god, it’s not your fault.” 

“Whose then?” 

Henry shrugs. “I don’t know. Societies maybe. For making me feel like I have to be ashamed.” 

“You know none of what happened is your fault, right?” 

“I know, I just.. sometimes I can’t help but feel like it is. It’s stupid.” 

“Don’t call yourself stupid you idiot.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Can I hug you?” 

“Yeah.” 

She just kind of scoots closer and leans against him, pushing him back into the pillow. 

“I love you. I’m sorry I’m only ever talking about myself.” 

“Oh shut it, you never did anything wrong.” 

“All I do is roast you and talk about how pretty Charlotte is.” 

“Frankie, it’s okay. How were you supposed to know something is wrong? Please don’t beat yourself up over this.” 

“How long did your friends know?” 

“I told Bill on that evening. Then Ted after Christmas and the others somewhat after that.” 

“Oh ..okay. At least now I get why Ted had a black eye earlier.” 

“Yeah, he was really mad. You should have seen Mason.” 

“He looked a lot worse, I hope.” 

“He did”, Henry admits, “He could barely walk.” 

“Good.” 

“Frankie?” 

“Yes?” 

“Can you stay here?” 

“Sure.” 

She pulls away now and just lays down next to him. “Do you wanna watch a movie or something? I can go downstairs and steal some cake.” 

“What movie?” 

“I don’t know. You can pick a fucking musical if you want to.” 

Henry smiles. “No way. ..You’d really do that for me?” 

“Yes I love you.” 

“Chicago?” 

“Ugh okay.” 

“Don’t you dare talk shit about it while we watch, okay?” 

“I won’t, I’m trying to make you feel better here.” 

“Okay. ..I’d love to watch it.” 

“I know you would you nerd.” She sits up. “Cake?” 

Henry nods. “Chocolate if that’s still available.” 

“I’ll look.” 

“Thanks.” 

She gets up and leaves the room. Henry sits up and reaches for his cup of tea. It’s dark blue and there‘s a white ‘H’ written on it. Frankie has the same one, except hers has a ‘F’ and is dark green. Their mom made them for them a few years ago and somehow that cup grew to be Henrys favourite. The ‘H’ is already kind of flaking off by now but Henry loves it none the less. 

Henry burns his tongue on the tea and Frankie comes in about a minute later, bringing two slices of chocolate cake. 

Then Frankie leaves again to get their dads laptop because both of them left their own at college. 

It takes a while but soon both of them are comfortable on Henrys bed and the movie starts. 

“Henry?”, Frankie asks, after about five minutes in. 

“Mh?”

“Do you like Ted?” 

“Of course I like Ted”, Henry says, pretending he doesn’t get what she’s asking. He takes a sip of his tea, hoping to distract from the blush covering his face. 

He kissed Ted. 

He keeps remembering that. 

What the fuck was he thinking? 

“No, you know what I mean.”

“I don’t then.” 

She looks up. 

“Well for that you’ve been pretty fucking flustered when he hugged and kissed you earlier.” 

“That wasn’t about him that was just.. me being held like that.” 

“Uh huh, you touch-starved bitch.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Just get a boyfriend”, she says, like that’s easy. 

“Just get a boyfriend”, Henry imitates her, rolling his eyes. 

“Fuck you.”

“Why don’t  you get a partner?” 

“I’m fucking working on it.” 

“Working on it? All you did was stare at Charlotte today while stumbling over your words.” 

“Baby steps.” 

“You’re as much of a coward as I am.” 

“Usually I’m not!”

“What’s different with Charlotte?” 

“I actually like her.” 

Henry hesitates. “You really do huh?” 

Frankie shrugs lightly. “She’s just so amazing. She makes me feel nauseous but in a good way.” 

“Give her time, yeah? I think she’s going through a lot right now.” 

“Okay. Can I ask what?” 

“You can but I honestly don’t know the answer.” 

“Oh ..okay.” 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, she’s worth waiting for.” 

“You’re sweet.” 

“And you’re a coward. Ask Ted out.” 

“Here I was, being nice to you for once and you come at me like this.” 

“Sorry. I’ll stop.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Can we just watch the movie in silence now?” 

“Ugh okay I guess.” 

— 

Henrys dad tells his mom as soon as all the guests left.

Henry can pinpoint the exact moment he told her because he can hear her run up the stairs just seconds afterwards, barging into his room with a worried look on her face. 

“Oh Henry”, she whispers, hugging him and he cries once again (not as bad as earlier at least, maybe he used most of his tears up by now) 

She, too, promises to help him get Mason away and then she talks him into staying home the night. 

So he does stay the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter’s gonna have some cute Tedgens again I promise


	33. When You Hold Me In Your Arms I Can Feel Your Heart Beating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Henry are being cute af together and also stupidly oblivious. The dumbasses are in love and it's mostly frustrating at this point but this is a slowburn so suffer with me

Henrys dad drives him back to college the next day, because he wants to spend more time with him. Henry knows that the real reason is that he’s really worried and wants to make sure Henry gets safely to his dorm room, but he’s not going to say that out loud, since he doesn‘t want to seem overprotective. Henry knows that because he knows his dad and it’s not like he‘s a good actor. 

“Okay, I’m fine now”, Henry says, when they stand in the corridor to the dorms. 

“No I’m gonna walk you all the way.” 

“Dad-“

“I want to meet your roommate.”

“You don’t.” 

“Yes I do, he’s been there for you a lot, I wanna thank him.” 

“Please don’t be weird, I beg you.” 

“I’m never weird.” 

“Dad..” 

“I’m gonna be a cool normal dad.” 

“I love you but-“ 

“Please Henry please.” 

Henry sighs, before he nods. 

“Okay.” 

His dad smiles and starts walking. 

Henry hurries past him so he can be the first one in, even though he’s the one with the key anyway. 

“Don’t be weird”, he whispers again, before unlocking the door. 

Ted is standing at his table, just kind of sorting through things. 

“Hey Ted”, Henry says. 

Ted looks up.

“Hi.” 

His gaze falls on Henrys dad who is just smiling brightly. “Hi”, he says as well. 

“Ted this is my dad. Dad that’s Ted, my friend and roommate.” 

“Hi”, Ted says again, awkwardly. 

“Can I hug you?”, Henry’s dad asks. 

Ted frowns. “What? I.. I guess?”

Seconds later he is being pulled in a hug. 

Henry sighs, because he did make sure to tell his dad not to be weird, didn’t he? 

“Thank you”, his dad says, pulling away, “for being there for Henry.” 

“You.. you’re welcome?”, Ted fumbles out, throwing a confused glance at Henry. 

“I told him about Mason”, Henry explains. 

“Oh.” Ted nods lightly. 

“Thank you”, Henry’s dad says again and Henry steps forward now, pulling his dad away a little. 

“It’s okay dad”, he whispers. “You thanked him.” 

Ted smiles at that. 

“I just.. I’m really glad Henry has someone here he can trust.” 

“Mr Hidgens, Henry is my friend, so of course I’m there for him. There is nothing you have to thank me for”, Ted admits now. 

Henrys dad just hugs him again. 

“I’m so glad he has you.” 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles. “Ted understood that.” 

He looks at Ted, mouthing a silent ‘Sorry’.

Ted smiles, shaking his head. 

Henrys dad finally lets go of Ted now and turns to Henry. 

“I’m gonna leave then.” 

Henry nods. “Okay.” 

“Call me if you need something, I’m always there for you.” 

“I will.” 

“I love you so much.” 

He hugs Henry now and Henry can feel that he’s going to cry, in the intensity of the hug. 

“Dad, I’m gonna be fine.” 

“Well if you’re sure about that.” 

“I am.” 

“You’re gonna look after him?” He turned to Ted again. 

“Sure. He’s also very capable of looking after himself”, Ted says. 

“Did you hear that? You don’t have to worry”, Henry chimes in, leading his dad towards the door now. 

He just nods. “Okay well I love you, I’ll talk to George.” 

“I love you too. Thank you.” 

“See you, yes? Call me.” 

“Yes.” 

He leaves and Henry carefully closes the door behind him, taking a breath before turning back to Ted. 

Ted is smiling. 

“Are you laughing?”, Henry asks, worried that Ted is laughing at him. 

“No, your dad is just really awesome.” 

“He’s very worried. I’m sorry he attacked you.” 

“It’s okay. I’d be worried too, if I was him. I mean you went through a lot.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“So you told him?” 

Henry nods. “And Frankie and my mom. You don’t have to tiramisu me in front of Frankie anymore.”

“Wow. ..okay.”

“I also outed myself in front of my very conservative grandma.” 

“Oh shit. How did that go?” 

“Horrible. Especially considering I did it because we were fighting and I just.. I lost control, I was so mad, I just said it.” 

“Well fuck her.” 

Henry smiles. “Yeah..” 

“Are you okay?” 

“No, I’m exhausted.” 

“I.. do you..?” He doesn’t end the question verbally, he just opens his arms. 

Henry nods lightly before he carries himself into Teds arms, welcoming the comfort once again. 

He really likes Ted. So _much_. 

How dare he smell so good anyways? 

They kissed. They literally did that. 

Henry smiles at the memory, thinking about doing it again for a moment, his nose buried in Teds shoulder, his eyes closed. 

Then he falls back into reality and realises that he shouldn’t kiss Ted. Not out of nowhere anyways. 

“You know, what you did was very brave”, Ted whispers. 

“I guess.. yeah.” 

“You guess?” 

“I cried during most of it.” 

“That’s okay.” 

Henry doesn’t answer, just sinking into Teds touch now, nearly loosing it at the smell. 

When did he fall this hard? 

He didn’t even realise it while he was tumbling in the air, then he just suddenly hit the floor. He has to stop liking Ted, he really does. This is bad. 

Henry still smiles when he notices that Ted is leading him into some kind of dance, just pulling him into some mix between swaying and a very slow waltz. 

“What are you doing?”, Henry mumbles into Teds pullover. 

“Dancing with you.” 

Henry chuckles. “Why?” 

“I don’t know. I thought it might cheer you up.” 

“It did.” 

“Here we go then.” 

How on earth could Henry not like Ted? When Ted is just so perfect? It’s not even fair anymore. 

Teds hands are still on Henrys waist and Henry is _very_ aware of that, especially when Ted starts to fumble with his T-Shirt, getting bored maybe. 

Henry closes his eyes again, trying to concentrate on something else and not on Teds hands. 

But there’s nothing else he can concentrate on, Ted is all he can to think about. 

How long have they been hugging now? Is this still platonic? 

When did Ted lean his head against Henrys? Is _that_ platonic? 

Henry pulls away a little, putting his chin on Teds shoulder instead of burying his nose in Teds pullover. 

Ted seems to notice because he stops playing with Henrys T-Shirt. 

“So-..”, Ted then starts quietly, clearing his throat. “What are you doing now?”

“I have a class in like half an hour”, Henry mumbles, only remembering it after Ted asked. 

“Okay, that’s cool I guess.” 

“What were you doing before we barged in?”, Henry asks, recalling Ted sorting around. 

“I can’t tell you that.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’d fall utterly in love with me.” 

Henry blushes. 

“And you don’t want that?” 

“Believe me darling, _you_ don’t want that. You can do a lot better.” 

“Oh shut up, you’re great.” 

Ted chuckles, shaking his head. 

“What did you do?”, Henry asks again, needing to know now. 

“You wanna know?” 

“Yeah, you made me curious.” 

“I was tidying up my side of the room.” 

Henry pulls away from Ted, so he can look at him. “Really?” 

Ted nods lightly. “I figured I’d do something for both of us.” 

Henry smiles brightly, choking out a quiet “Thank you”, somehow too overwhelmed to talk at a normal volume. 

Ted hesitates, watching Henry. 

“Does that turn you on? Are you going to rip your clothes off now?” 

Henry pushes him off, trying to look shocked but failing, since he‘s smiling too much for that.

“Shut up.” 

“That’s a no.” 

“Are you disappointed?” 

“A little.” 

“Really?” 

Ted chuckles. “No! Leave your clothes on.” 

“You just say that now.” 

“Yeah you caught me.” 

Henry steps away from Ted, looking at his watch to flee Teds gaze. Ted is making him way too flustered for his own good.

“I have to shower, I have a class in half an hour.” 

“Alright, think about me.” 

“Fuck off.” 

Ted winks at him and Henry just rolls his eyes, before leaving for the bathroom. 

— 

Henry can’t sleep when he’s laying in bed that night. 

They turned off the light half an hour ago but Henry is wide awake and he knows that Ted is too, in the way he’s breathing. 

Quieter and faster than he would if he was asleep. 

“Hey Hen?”, Ted asks and Henry almost flinches. 

He knew Ted was awake but he didn’t expect Ted to know he’s awake as well. 

“Yeah?”, he whispers back. 

“Something really weird happened after you left yesterday.” 

“What?” 

“Paul came and he just.. apologised.” 

Suddenly Henry remembers Paul again. He totally forgot about him. 

“He did?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And?” 

“What and?” 

“What happened?” 

“He apologised?” 

“And then?” 

“I’m not sure, I think we might be friends again. We talked for a while.“

“But that’s good, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah it is, I guess it is. I just really didn’t expect it to happen anymore to be honest, still feels weird.” 

“But are you happy about it?” 

“Yes, I mean, it was a nice apology. He really meant it.” 

“So you forgave him?” 

“Yeah. Kind of.” 

“What’s up?” 

“I don’t know. It’s just so weird. I missed him for a while and now he’s suddenly back and I’m like.. I still don‘t understand it.”

“Yeah ...I get that. But maybe you guys can find back to each other, right?” 

“We’ll see, I suppose. He asked if I want to go for pizza with you guys tomorrow.” 

“Us? Like me too?” 

“He said you were coming.” 

“Oh okay.” Henry didn’t know he was. 

“Please say you’re coming.” 

“Are you?” 

“I said I am. But I don’t want to do this alone. Please.” 

Henry smiles because he can’t remember ever having witnessed Ted beg like that. 

“Okay sure. I’ll come with and hold your hand you baby.” 

Ted chuckles. “Fuck you.” 

“Sorry.”

“I’m just genuinely scared that they’ll all be assholes again. And you wouldn’t, you’re too nice.” 

“Bill and Char wouldn’t either.” 

“I guess, yeah.” 

“But I can’t promise you Emma won’t.” 

“I can take Emma.” 

“I’m glad you guys might be friends again.” 

“Yeah?” 

“It would be cool, hanging out together, wouldn’t it?” 

“I guess.” 

“Plus you can’t just rely on me as your only friend.” 

“I don’t mind. I like you.” 

Henry smiles into his pillow like a goddamn dork. Then he takes a breath, trying to catch himself. 

“What I meant is, if I disappeared, you wouldn’t be alone.” 

“Please don’t disappear.” 

“I’ll try.” 

“I swear to god, if you disappear, I’ll fucking look for you.” 

Henry smiles. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Good.” 

It’s quiet for a while. Then Ted talks again. 

“I’m literally so awake right now.”

“Me too”, Henry admits. 

“What makes people sleepy? Is there some kind of trick?” 

“Counting sheep maybe.” 

“That’s boring.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Hey Henry?” 

“Yeah?” 

“When is your birthday?” 

Henry smiles. “What? Why are you asking that?” 

“I recently realised that I don’t know.” 

“It’s in summer. June 5th.” 

“Gemini huh?” 

“Yeah. I don’t know what that says about me though.” 

“Me neither, I don’t know shit about zodiac signs.” 

Henry chuckles. 

“What are you?” 

“Aquarius.” 

“When is your birthday?” 

“January 23rd.” 

“Fuck you”, Henry says, sitting up in his bed now, “You didn’t tell me!” 

“It’s not like it matters.” 

“You’re twenty now?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been twenty for three months.” 

“Well then happy belated birthday you dick.“

“Thanks”, Ted laughs. 

“Did you celebrate?” 

“I went for dinner with my mom.” 

“You know, I would have gifted you something.” 

“I don’t need anything.” 

“We could have celebrated too!” 

“Henry it’s fine.“ 

“Watch me bake you a fucking cake next year.” 

“That sounds like a threat.” 

“It is a threat. Suit yourself.” 

“Are you gonna poison me?” 

“No, but you’re going to loose your mind because it’ll be the best cake you ever tasted.” 

“I’m scared.” 

“You better be.” Henry lays back down into his bed, hearing Ted chuckle from across the room.

“Are you actually mad?”, Ted asks.

“A little. But I‘ll have forgiven you in the morning.”

“I suppose I can live with that.”

Henry smiles. “That’s good.”

It‘s quiet afterwards, so Henry closes his eyes again, trying to sleep. 

“Good night”, Ted whispers after a while. 

“Night”, Henry mumbles.


	34. Blue Milkshakes And John Mulaney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They eat pizza (again bc this is the only thing they ever eat in this story)!  
Chad is there! Paul doesn’t like musicals! Emma and Ted quote John Mulaney!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are Teds rips rlly that big of a deal or do I just want an excuse to get him shirtless in front of Henry?
> 
> TW:  
\- bruise  
\- mention of broken bones  
\- mention of death 
> 
> Warning: Alice By Heart spoilers

Henry is not a pervert or anything but he can’t help accidentally glancing at Ted when he comes out of the shower, all shirtless.  


Henry is sitting on his bed and he’s really trying not to make this more awkward than it has to be. This, meaning his crush on Ted. 

But in his defense, he’s not only stealing glances because Teds belly looks so very soft and Henry wants to cuddle him. He also noticed the bruise, still very visible on Teds ribs. 

“You said you’d go to Amy if it doesn’t get better”, he says. 

Ted looks up. 

“But it did get better.” 

“It doesn’t look better.” 

“Well it doesn’t hurt anymore.” 

“You’re a liar.” 

“I’m not lying.” 

“Ted..” 

“Darling I promise I’m fine.” 

Ted reaches for a T-Shirt now. 

“What if you broke a rib and it stabbed through your lung?” 

“Pretty sure I’d be dead by now.” 

“What if you broke a rib?”

“That would hurt a lot more.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Henry stop worrying.” 

“Come here.” 

Ted hesitates before he comes towards Henry, still holding his T-Shirt. 

“What? Are you gonna kiss it better?”, he asks. 

“Do you want me to?” 

“Desperately.” 

Henry chuckles, reaching for Teds waist but stopping right before his fingers touch him. 

“May I?” 

Ted nods. “Yeah.” 

Henry grabs Teds waist and pulls him closer. 

He can’t help but notice how soft Teds skin is. Not that he’d care. But it‘s worth mentioning. 

He puts his fingers over the bruise now, looking up. 

“That okay?” 

Ted smiles, nodding again. “Yes, go on.” 

Henry carefully applies just a little bit of pressure. 

“How much does that hurt?” 

“On a scale from one to ten?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Like a two maybe.” 

“Really?” 

“Hen, it hurts the way a normal bruise on my arm would hurt. There’s nothing broken.” 

“Okay if you’re sure.” 

“I am.” 

Henry hesitates before he lets go off Ted.

“I still think you should have someone take a look at it.”

“Says Mr. I-Refuse-To-Go-To-The-Hospital-Even-Though-I-Have-A-Fucking-Concussion.”

“Shut up, that was different.”

“Yeah, it was a lot worse.”   


“At least I went to Amy!”

“Henry I‘m _fine_! Okay?”

Henry sighs, giving up now.  


“Okay”, he mumbles. 

“Can I put on my t-shirt now or do you wanna enjoy the view for another minute?” 

Henry smiles, shaking his head at how smug and confident Ted is. Why is he like this? It’s not like Henry will be able to handle that any longer. 

Henry secretly wishes he was like that. Confident in a way that makes him insatiable. Because maybe then he’d have the courage to make a move. 

“You’re not that hot”, Henry lies.

Ted puts his hand on his heart, pretending to be hurt but he also laughs. “Ouch”, he says. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, my ego can take it.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I suppose it’ll have to.” 

Henry chuckles. 

“Shut up, you know you’re handsome.” 

“Oh was that a compliment?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I’m flattered.” 

“You should be.” 

Ted laughs quietly, before he takes a step back and slips into his shirt.

— 

They do go for pizza that day. Ted is nervous and it’s really adorable. Henry is not used to nervous-Ted. Being nervous is normally Henrys job. 

“Hey Ted!”, Bill says when Henry and Ted arrive. 

Charlotte smiles brightly and waves. 

“Hi”, Ted says. 

“Hey man”, Paul says, trying to sound normal but there’s so much awkwardness in his voice. 

“Hi”, Ted mumbles again.

Emma just stares at him and then Ted stares back and it kind of escalates into a little staring match until Paul reaches for Emma’s hand. 

“Be nice Em, please?” 

“I’ll try”, she mumbles. 

“Henry you’re here too!”, Charlotte just goes on, trying to sound cheery. 

“Yes!”, Henry says, letting her hug him. 

“Let’s go inside?”, Bill asks. 

“Great idea!”, Paul goes, before he leads Emma towards the door. 

Bill and Charlotte follow and Henry looks for Ted, to make sure he’s coming too. 

“I fucking hate this”, Ted just says. 

“They don’t hate you”, Henry tries to make him feel better. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes. I mean except for Emma.” 

Ted smiles. 

“Yeah, I think she’ll hate me forever.” 

“Come inside?” 

“Okay.” 

Henry reaches for Teds hand and pulls him towards the door, following the others who already entered. 

The others sat down in a round booth. 

Ted slips on the bench next to Paul, leaving a spot for Henry next to himself. 

“Bill what are you looking at?”, Charlotte asks now. 

Henry looks up to see Bill staring in some kind of direction. 

“Nothing just.. there’s Chad.” 

Henry follows his gaze and sees Chad in a booth all by himself. 

A blue milkshake is placed in front of him and he’s reading their script. 

“He’s alone, he shouldn’t be alone”, Bill says. 

“We could ask him if he wants to sit with us?”, Henry says. 

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”, Charlotte asks. 

“We barely know him”, Emma chimes in. 

“I know him”, Henry says, “He’s nice.” 

“If Henry likes him, he can’t be a bad person”, Ted notes. 

“Well he likes you too”, Emma says. 

“He likes _you _too”, Ted hits back. 

“I’d say Henry asks him”, Paul says now. 

Bill nods. 

“Okay”, Henry says, looking around one last time. 

Everybody nods, so he gets up. 

He walks over to Chad, who is so absorbed in the script that he doesn’t notice Henry until Henry sits down in front of him. 

“Hi”, Henry says. 

Chad smiles. 

“Hey Henry.” 

“How are you?” 

“I’m okay, you?” 

“Yeah, alright.” 

“What’s up? Why did you come here?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Your friends are waiting aren’t they?” 

“Yeah, they asked me to ask you if you want to sit with us.” 

Chad hesitates, looking over to the others now. 

“For real?” 

“Yes. Do you want to?” 

“I mean.. I..” 

He looks so overwhelmed. 

“If you want to be alone, that’s okay too. But if you don’t, you’re welcome to join us.” 

“I’d love to, actually”, Chad quietly admits. “Join you, that means. Not be alone.” 

Henry smiles. “Okay, come on.” 

He gets up and Chad quickly gathers his stuff, reaching for his backpack as well as his script and his milkshake. 

When they come back to the others, Henry notices Paul and Ted talking, a smile on both of their lips. 

Bill already moved closer to Charlotte, clearing a spot on the bench right next to himself. 

“You can sit here”, he says. 

Chad smiles, mumbling a quiet “thanks” before sitting down, placing his milkshake on the table before fumbling his script into his backpack. 

“A blue milkshake?”, Bill asks, “What flavour is that?” 

“Blueberry! Do you wanna try?” 

Bill nods. “May I? I never had that.” 

“Of course”, Chad says, before he lightly pushes the milkshake towards Bill. 

Bill leans forward, sipping on the straw. 

Chad (and the rest of the table, except for Ted and Paul) watches him. 

“Oh that’s good!”, Bill says afterwards, looking genuinely delighted. 

“Yeah, right?” 

Bill nods, pushing the milkshake back to Chad, then he smiles. “Are you into blue things?” 

Chad shrugs lightly, a nervous smile forming on his lips. “I like blue, but I think it’s a coincidence that blueberry milkshakes are my favourite.” 

“That’s so cool. You know, I like your eyeliner”, Bill mumbles, watching Chad, and Chad actually blushes for a moment. 

“Yeah?” 

Bill nods. 

“Well, thank you. I like your eyes.” 

“They’re just brown.” 

“Yeah, a nice brown though.” 

“Thanks, I like yours too.” 

They just stare at each other’s eyes at this point and Emma is the first one who speaks up. 

“Do you guys wanna get a room?” 

Bill blushes and Chad quickly turns away. 

“We weren’t-..I wasn’t..”, Bill starts, but gives up rather quickly. 

“I was joking”, Emma clarifies, “I’m sorry. Please keep going.” 

It’s quiet until Bill turns back to Chad. 

“Where do you know Henry from?” 

“Oh, we’re in theatre together.” 

“You’re an actor?” 

“I’m working on it.”

“Who are you in that musical? Alice By Heart was it, right?” 

“Yeah. I’m playing Alfred.” 

“Who is that? Is he important?” 

“Alice best friend. Yeah, kinda.” 

“He’s a lead”, Henry chimes in, because Chad is too shy and humble to say that. 

“No way!”, Bill says. 

“Yeah”, Chad admits, a smile forming on his lips while he fumbles with his milkshake. 

“What does he do? Like what’s his character?”, Bill keeps on asking, genuinely interested for some reason. 

“He has tuberculosis. Alice reads Alice In Wonderland to him and they kinda dive into it.  He becomes the white rabbit during the musical and he’s always like: I don’t have time. And that’s really deep if you think about it, because he dies in the end.” 

Bill gasps. “Spoiler!” 

Chad laughs and so does Bill. 

“Sorry”, Chad says. “But it’s pretty clear that he dies about five minutes in.” 

“So you actively die on stage?” 

“I just kinda walk off in the middle of a song.” 

“Oh okay. But you sing?” 

“Yeah, I do.” 

“That’s so cool.” 

“Yeah.” Chad smiles now, seeming happy in the way he found someone actually interested. And also kind of flustered. Henry isn’t sure if he over-interprets that part though. 

“Henry does too”, Chad says now, maybe trying to get the attention off himself. 

Teds head whips around at a rapid speed and Henry can’t help but smile at that. 

“Yeah?”, Ted asks. 

Chad nods. 

“A lot?” 

“He has a really cool song”, Chad says. “Henry is awesome, you guys should come see him.”

A bright smile forms on Teds lips and Henry lightly shakes his head. 

“No”, Henry says. 

“Can I see it?”, Ted asks. 

Henry hesitates and eventually settles on shrugging. He’s usually not that shy about his acting, he loves it, actually, he loves talking about it. But he doesn’t want Ted to think he’s bad at it. What if Ted doesn’t like his performance? 

“Who are you playing?”, Ted asks now. 

“Harold Pudding. Or the mad hatter.” 

“Mad hatter? Like you go batshit crazy?” 

“Not batshit crazy I suppose.” 

“A little crazy?” 

Henry nods. “Yes.” 

“Shit, please let me come see you. ..please?”

Henry shrugs, but then gives in and nods. “But you’re only allowed to compliment me afterwards. If my performance sucks, you better lie to me.” 

Ted chuckles. “Okay darling.” 

“I wanna see it too”, Bill says now. 

Charlotte nods. “Let’s all go!”

“I mean.. we can if..”, Paul struggles to say something and Emma laughs. 

“Paul hates musicals”, she says. 

“You do?”, Henry asks. 

“He does”, Ted says. 

Paul shrugs lightly. “Watching people sing and dance makes me very uncomfortable.” 

“That is so weird”, Chad mumbles. 

Paul laughs and Chad hesitates. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude.” 

“It’s okay, you weren’t”, Paul assures. 

“It _is_ really weird”, Ted admits and Paul nudges him in the side, making him laugh. 

“I made him watch High School Musical once and he hated it. What kinda monster is that?”, Ted goes on. 

Emma’s jaw drops to the floor. “Really?” 

Ted nods. “I wanted to do a marathon. He made it through the first. Then he paused the second one during Fabulous and said he can’t take it anymore. He didn’t even let me show him Bet On It.” 

“I’m sorry Em, I tried”, Paul says. 

“You’re glad I love you more than High School Musical”, Emma mumbles. 

“Do you?” 

She nods. 

Paul smiles and puts his arm around her. She leans in to kiss him. 

Then she looks at Ted. “Don’t call my boyfriend a monster, dude.” 

“Don’t date a monster then.” 

“Maybe the real monster lives within us”, Bill mumbles. 

“Damn”, Charlotte says. 

“Are we gonna eat pizza?”, Emma asks. 

“Relax. We’ve been here for like five minutes”, Ted says. 

“Just ‘cause you’re accurate, does not mean you’re interesting.” 

Ted looks up, then he goes: “Get some _rest _tall child.” 

They stare at each other for a moment, then Emma nods lightly. 

“I still don’t like you”, she says, “But I appreciate you quoting Mulaney.” 

“Yeah, that’s mutual”, Ted clarifies. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes I like Alice By Heart a normal amount


	35. And Chad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chad tells Henry about Mason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- rape (not all explicitly described but it’s talked about)  
\- alcohol and it’s effects

Henry lets himself fall back with Chad, when they walk outside and back to campus. 

“Hi”, he says after a while, unsure about how to start this. 

He wants to ask Chad about Mason, but he doesn’t want to attack him out of nowhere, he doesn‘t want to attack him at all. He wants to do this smoothly, without hurting his mental health. 

“Hi”, Chad says, a smile forming on his lips. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Yeah. I mean I’m okay. Thank you for taking me in. I felt like shit this morning and now I feel less bad.” 

“You can always come sit with us, you know?” 

“Yeah?” 

Henry nods. “Of course.” 

Chad smiles brightly, biting his lip. 

“Thank you. Really.” 

Henry nods again, unsure about what else he’s supposed to do. 

“Are _you_ alright?”, Chad asks now. 

“Kind of, yeah. I mean, I’m pushing through.” 

“That’s good.” 

“Yeah.. I told my family.“ 

“You did?” He looks surprised. 

Henry nods. 

“You are talking about.. him, right?” 

Henry nods again. “Yes.” 

“Wow”, Chad mumbles, “You’re brave. I wish I could be brave.” 

“You haven’t told your family?” 

“No. I keep wanting to and then I look at my dad and I don’t get a single word out. He doesn’t even know I’m gay. How am I supposed to.. to-..” He shrugs lightly, blinking away the tears that formed in his eyes. 

“Do you wanna talk?”, Henry asks, carefully. 

“Not here.” 

“Somewhere else then?” 

“Do you have time?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you wanna go to my room?” 

“Okay, sure.” 

— 

They go to Chad’s room, after Henry informed Ted that he doesn’t have to wait on him. 

Chad’s room is neat and clean. Lots of blues and other bright colours. But only one bed is made. 

“Do you live alone?”, Henry asks. 

“Yeah.” 

“On purpose?” 

“No. But I don’t mind.” 

“I like your room.” 

Chad smiles. “Yeah?” 

Henry nods. 

Chad walks over to his table, his gaze fixed on a succulent, standing there. He just kind of tabs the earth, maybe making sure it has enough water, before he starts to fumble with the leaves. 

“Is it okay if I tell you about him?”, he then asks, seeming nervous. 

“Yeah”, Henry fumbles out. 

“I just.. I don’t know, I mean I know what he did to you, kind of, so it’s only fair. And I feel like I need to tell someone. I want to. And I trust you, I really do.” 

“It’s okay, you can let it out if you want to.” 

“Are you sure?” He looks up now, scanning Henry. 

Henry nods. 

Chad lets go of the plant now and leans against the table, his fingers digging into the tabletop.

“I’ve been wanting to tell my dad, I just.. how am I supposed to explain that I willingly went to his room without coming out?” 

“You did?” 

Chad shrugs. “It was fucking stupid. It was on a party and I was lonely and ..kinda drunk.” 

“And he took advantage of it?” 

Chad nods. 

“It didn’t even start consensual, considering how drunk I was but it got worse. You know, he was charming, maybe I‘d even have agreed to come to his room if I wasn’t drunk. I don’t know. I remember thinking that’s okay. I had fooled around before and he was nice, you know?” 

“And then?” 

Chad shrugs lightly, tears formed in his eyes. 

“Then we went on to it and suddenly he started doing stuff I didn’t want him to do but he didn’t stop when I told him. Stuff like-..” He sniffles. 

He bites his lip, his eyebrows shoot up a little. He starts to blink, then a tear slips over his cheek, then another. 

Henry doesn’t even know what to say. He slowly steps closer to Chad, maybe trying to calm him down. He wants to hug him, but he’s not sure if Chad wants to be hugged. 

“He just.. he didn’t even stop when he saw me crying, he just smiled and went on with it”, Chad goes on. 

Henry nods lightly, blinking while trying to keep the tears away. 

“Are you okay with me hugging you?”, he fumbles out. 

Chad looks up, then he nods. 

So Henry pulls him into a hug. 

Chad is smaller than him, small enough that his head perfectly fits under Henrys chin. 

He starts sobbing, when Henry is holding him close. 

Henry can feel his T-Shirt get a little soggy. 

“Now he keeps following me”, Chad quietly goes on, “I don’t know why, maybe he’s just that much of a bad person that he likes seeing me in fear or maybe he wants to make sure I keep my mouth shut.” 

“But you’re not.. keeping your mouth shut, are you?” 

“No, I went to the police but they don’t care.” 

“How do they not care?” 

“Isn’t that obvious? I’m male. And he’s white, I’m not. They told me I consented, because I agreed to come to his room. They told me I’m overreacting.” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

Chad shrugs lightly. 

“It’s not your fault that the justice system is fucking shit.” 

“What if we went together? To the police, that means.” 

“I don’t know.” 

“You know, my.. my dad wants to help. He has a friend who’s a lawyer. He said he’d ask him for help.” 

Chad pulls away from Henry, so he can look at him. His brown eyes scan him for a moment. 

“Ask him for help? For you?” 

“For us, Chad. I want to do this with you.” 

“Yeah?” 

Henry nods. He reaches for Chad’s face and wipes the tears away. 

“Do you wanna do this with me? You can say no, if you don’t. It’s okay. I want you to be comfortable.” 

“I wanna do it.” 

“Yeah?” 

Chad nods, a hesitant smile forming on his lips. “Yeah.” 

“Okay”, Henry says, smiling as well now, kind of relieved that Chad agreed to do this with him.  


Because if they‘re going together, the chances of getting Mason in prison are twice as high, right?   
  
And Henry really does not want to go alone. 

“Let’s make Mason pay”, Chad mumbles.

“Shit, yeah.” 

“Do you think it’s possible to hide it from my dad though?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe.” 

“I’m working on telling him, I promise.” 

“You don’t have to promise. Go at your own pace, okay? Don’t pressure yourself.” 

“Yeah. ..It’s just me and my dad, you know?” 

“It is?” 

“My mom left us when I was four.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry.” 

Chad shrugs lightly. “I love my dad, I don’t want him to hate me.” 

“Do you think he would?” 

Chad shrugs. “He’s never been openly homophobic but he also never phrased his support for the LGBT community so I literally have no clue. We don’t talk about that kind of stuff.” 

“Maybe he.. won‘t mind.“

“Yeah, or maybe he will. He’s the only family I have, I don’t want to loose him.” 

“You don’t have to tell him yet if you don’t want to.” 

“I know. The thing is, I don’t want to tell him but I want him to know. I don’t wanna talk about it, I just want.. I don’t want to have to hide it anymore.” 

“Yeah, I get that.” 

“How long where you closeted?” 

“I came out to my parents at fourteen.”

“Woah. And they took it well?” 

“Yeah. They were a little surprised at first but quickly came around.” 

“That‘s awesome.”

“Yeah.”

It’s quiet and after a few seconds of silence, Chad decides to just hug Henry again, leaning into him.  


“Thank you”, he mumbles against Henrys chest.  


“No, thank _you_.”   


Chad smiles now. 

“You’re a great hugger”, he says. 

“Am I? Or am I just tall?” 

Chad laughs, before he pulls away. 

“Maybe both.” 

“I’m sure there’s people better at hugging than I am.” 

“For example?” 

“Ted. Or Bill! Charlotte is awesome too.” 

Chad smiles. 

“Bill?” 

“Yeah.”

“Is he.. is he always that nice? You know, like earlier?” 

“Yeah, he’s probably the nicest person I know. Him and Charlotte are almost too nice for this world.” 

“So he wasn’t flirting or anything?” 

Henry smiles. “I don’t know.” 

“Is he into guys?”

“I.. I don’t know, actually.”

“Single?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Okay, thank you, good to know.” 

“Why? Are you interested?” 

“Perhaps.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Don’t smile at me like that. I just.. I wouldn’t be opposed.” 

“Mhmh.” 

Chad chuckles, nudging Henry away. 

“Just stop.” 

Henry laughs. “Okay. ..Okay. Sorry.”

— 

“Well hello”, Ted greets him, when Henry steps into their room. 

“Hello hello”, Henry says. 

“See anything different?” 

Henry looks up, scanning Ted first. 

“What? No.” 

“The room you genius.” 

“Oh.” 

He takes his eyes off Ted and lets them wander through the room. 

It’s strangely neat. 

“Wow. You really did it.” 

“I did it!”, Ted says, proudly, pointing at himself with both of his thumbs. 

“Where did you put everything?” 

“Nowhere. Just please don’t open my closet.” 

“Oh no.” 

“I’ll rearrange that at some point.” 

“Ted..” 

“The true values lay in the exterior.” 

“They don’t.” Henry can’t help but laugh. 

“Anyways I deserve a break and a coffee and so do you.” 

“Are you saying we’re going for coffee?”

“If you want to, darling.” 

“What kinda question is that even? Come on.” 


	36. Charlotte!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry quite literally stumbles upon Charlottes secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’re supposed to sing the Chapter title like Jeff does in You Tied Up My Heart and if you didn’t then I’m not mad but indeed a little disappointed

Henry and Chad went to the police with Henrys dad and George and they pressed charges. 

The cops didn’t want to listen at first so George went into full lawyer mode and it was amazing. 

Henry can’t help but smile, when they step outside. 

He feels weirdly freed. Like someone took the pressure off his chest. He looks at Chad to see him smile as well.

“Alright”, George says, “now we can only wait.” 

“Thank you”, Chad says. 

Henry nods and his dad hugs George. 

“Thanks.” 

“Hey, don’t worry about it”, George says, gifting them a smile. 

Henrys dad steps away from him, putting his arm around Henrys shoulders now. 

“Anyone hungry?”, he asks. 

“Oh. I have a class now”, Chad admits.

“I’m kinda meeting up with Ted”, Henry says. 

“Ah the youth. Always occupied”, Henry’s dad jokes. 

Henry frowns. “I’m sorry dad. ..I can tell him I’ll meet him later?” 

“No no, it’s alright.” 

“I could go for lunch”, George says. 

“Alright, let’s go”, Henry’s dad says, cheerfully, letting go of Henry. 

They say their goodbyes and eventually leave. 

Henry walks back to campus with Chad. 

— 

He spots Ted from afar. Emma, Paul and Bill joined him, waving at Henry and Chad. 

Ted hurries towards them, maybe to be the first one to hug Henry, because that’s the first thing he does.

“You two did it!”, he says. 

“I’m so happy for you guys!”, Bill says, stopping in front of Chad. “Can I hug you?” 

Chad nods, so Bill pulls him into a hug. 

Emma and Paul come at them as well and after about one minute, everybody was hugged by everyone. 

Ted took in a spot half next to, half behind Henry, wrapping his arms around him again, for no reason. But Henry doesn’t mind. He enjoys it, actually. 

“How did it go?”, Paul asks now. 

“Good. ..yeah good I suppose”, Henry says, looking at Chad for confirmation. 

Chad nods. 

“That’s awesome”, Bill says. 

“Yeah”, Chad mumbles, at the same time as Henry. 

“Where’s Char?”, Henry asks, having noticed her absence. 

“She said she’s going to the library. To study, maybe, I don’t know. She’s there a lot recently”, Emma says. 

“Oh, okay.” 

Emma nods lightly. 

Chad looks at his watch. “Sorry, I have to go”, he says. 

“Do you have a class?”, Bill asks. 

Chad nods. 

“I can walk you”, Bill offers, “You know, then you.. wouldn’t have to walk alone.” 

“I-.. if you don’t mind”, Chad says. 

“Of course I don’t mind.” 

“Okay.” Chad smiles shyly, before waving at the others. 

“Bye”, Emma says. Henry nods at them. 

Bill nods back, then they leave. 

“Why are you guys still hugging?”, Emma asks, after a few seconds of silence. 

“It’s nice and we’re touch starved”, Ted says, making Henry smile. 

“Well you seriously can’t blame me for thinking you guys were dating for a while there”, Emma claims. 

“I suppose not”, Henry admits. “But we’re not. Dating I mean.” 

“Yeah okay. Well Paul and I are gonna play Mario Kart, do you guys wanna join?” 

“We were actually planning on getting coffee and donuts”, Henry says. 

Ted nods lightly, letting go off Henry now and stepping next to him. 

“Okay, good, because we actually wanted to make out anyways.” 

“Ew”, Ted says. 

“You’re just jealous because no one wants to make out with you”, Emma hits back. 

“Plenty of people wanna make out with me.” 

“Keep telling that to yourself.” 

“I will, you armrest.”

“Making fun of my height now? You look like a lamppost.” 

Ted smiles, clearly amused now. “You’re like five feet of anger.” 

“I could fight you.” 

“Come kick my shins.” 

Henry just reaches for Teds wrist and pulls him back a little, while Paul struggles to keep Emma from killing Ted.  


“We should leave”, Henry says.   


Paul nods. “Bye, see you!”   


Henry pulls Ted away. 

“Did you have to?”, Henry asks. 

“Yeah.”

“No!” 

“She was mean too!” 

“I suppose. But still. Come on.” 

Ted smiles. “Sorry, darling.”

Henry lightly shakes his head and looks away to hide his smile. He can’t be serious if Ted smiles at him like that and calls him _darling_.

“Why are you always calling me that?” 

“What? Darling?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you want me to stop?” 

“You’re not answering my question.” 

“I don’t know, to be honest. At first I did it to annoy you, but then I kept it up somehow. Kinda suits you I suppose.” 

“Suits me?” 

“Yeah.” Ted chuckles. 

Henry shakes his head. Ted is such a fucking idiot. Henry wants to kiss him forever.

“Do you want me to stop?”, Ted asks again, more serious now. 

Henry blushes. “No”, he admits. 

He’d rather go down with his crush on Ted than never being able to hear him call him terms of endearment again. 

He doesn’t look at Ted, he doesn’t dare, but he sees him smile in his peripheral vision. 

So fucking smug. 

—

Henry goes to the library later that day. Actually simply to return a book, he doesn’t need anything new. But he can‘t help wandering through the shelves anyways because what kind of person would he be if he didn‘t enjoy the company of old books? 

Also the library in his college is kind of pretty, all tall and wooden shelves and sofas and plants. 

There’s a section in the back of the library, the best part, in Henrys opinion. Because no one ever really goes there. It’s the poetry section and it’s kind of hidden behind some plants. 

But Henry likes going there, not because he’s into poetry, but because it’s quiet. 

He pushes past the plant, carefully lifting the leaves with his hand. 

He doesn’t even notice that he’s not alone at first, too focused on not hurting the plant. 

Then he looks up and he sees two girls kissing. His first instinct is to take a step back, because they’re obviously there for privacy and Henry doesn’t want to disturb them. 

He forgot about the plant for a second and stumbles into it now, loosing his balance. 

He reaches for the plant to steady himself, but he falls anyway because the leaf he grabbed just rips clean off.

He lands on his back with a groan, the leaf in one hand. 

The girls flinched away from each other and only now does Henry recognise Charlotte in one of them. 

Her eyes widen as Henry sits up, frowning now. 

Henry doesn’t even comprehend what’s happening at first, it all happened so quickly. 

As soon as his brain manages to work through it, he quickly and clumsily gets up. 

“Sorry”, he fumbles out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in, I swear.” 

He just turns around and leaves, taking the leaf with him. 

Oh shit, he thinks, oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. 

So Emma was right, apparently. 

“Henry wait!”, Charlotte followed him,running now. 

“I’m so sorry Char”, Henry just says. 

She reaches for his arm, jerking him back and towards her. 

Henry stumbles against her, catching himself by reaching for her shoulders. 

He looks up to see the fear in her eyes. There’s so much of it. 

She stares at him for a moment, her mouth opening and closing until: “Please don’t tell anyone.” 

It’s a hushed whisper, like she’s telling a secret. She is. Henry literally forced her to tell him. He feels so bad about it. 

“I won’t”, Henry says, speaking softer now. 

“Promise?” 

“I promise.” 

“Okay.” 

Her voice is shaking. 

Henry is still holding on to her shoulders and he carefully lets go now, taking a step back. He still has the leaf, pressed together in his hand. 

He just kind of keeps it, because he doesn’t want to throw it on the floor. 

“Hey”, he whispers, trying to calm Charlotte down. “It’s okay, you know?” 

She shakes her head. She sobs quietly, then the tears follow. 

“No”, she just says. 

“No?”, Henry asks. 

“My parents will hate me when they find out.” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

She sniffles, shrugging now. 

“But.. I mean there’s nothing wrong with you, you know that, right?” 

She shrugs again, before she nods lightly. 

“Come here”, Henry mumbles, before he pulls her into a hug. 

She sobs against his shoulder, breaking down now. 

“I love you”, Henry says. 

“I love you too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” 

“It’s okay, you didn’t have to.” 

“I trust you, I do, it’s just.. I need more time to accept it for myself. Before I can.. can tell you guys.” 

“It’s okay, really. You don’t have to justify it.” 

Henry sees the other girl step out of the poetry section now, looking nervous. 

She’s pretty. 

Really pale and white blond hair and a face filled with freckles. She kind of looks the way Henry would imagine a fairy or an elf. Even her clothing style supports that picture. She’s wearing a light blue flowery dress and Mary Janes. 

Henry gifts her a smile and lets go of Charlotte when the girl steps closer. 

“Hey”, Henry fumbles out, “I’m sorry.” 

Her eyes lay on Henry for a moment, then she looks at Charlotte, then back at Henry. 

“Are you going to tell anyone?”, she asks, worry in her voice. 

“No”, Henry quickly assures her, “I promise I won’t.” 

“Okay.” 

“I’m really sorry for barging in.” 

“I suppose this is what you get when you make out in a public space”, she notes quietly. 

“Still, I’m sorry.” 

“I have to go now.” She looks at Charlotte. “See you?” 

Charlotte nods. “Yes.” 

There’s about three seconds of hesitation between the two of them, then the girl presses a kiss on Charlottes cheek and leaves. 

It’s quiet until Charlotte asks: “What’s with the leaf in your hand?” 

“I accidentally ripped it off the plant and now I feel bad.” 

A smile forms on her lips. 

“Weirdo”, she mumbles. 

Henry chuckles, before he sticks it in the chest pocket of Charlottes dungarees. “You shall have it.”

“You just don’t want to hold it anymore.”

“That’s kind of true.” 

“Thank you for not freaking out.” 

It’s quiet while Henry is overwhelmed by Charlottes words and struggles to find a good answer. 

He settles on pulling her close and pressing a kiss on her cheek, careful to not be sloppy. Frankies words really stuck with him. 

He puts his arm around her, leading her to the exit of the library. 

“Iced tea?” 

He knows Charlotte loves iced tea more than he loves coffee. The smile on her lips is enough to prove that he did the right thing, offering it to her. 

“That sounds nice”, she says. 

“Okay.” 

They leave the library and move towards Beanies. 

“So”, he says after a while of them just walking in silence. “Who is she? Can I ask that? You don’t have to answer.” 

Charlotte blushes. 

“Her name is Ava. I met her on that New Years party we went to. Bill went to his room earlier that night because he doesn’t like parties. Well and Paul and Emma disappeared. So I was alone and I wandered around and ran into her and we just sat and talked for a while and then it was midnight and we kissed and we’ve been meeting in secret ever since.”

“Wow, New Years Eve? That’s a while ago.” 

Charlotte nods lightly. 

“Ava’s not ready being out and neither am I.” 

“But she‘s like ..your girlfriend?” 

“I don’t know. I like her. I enjoy kissing her, I-.. I don’t know. We never talked about it. I think both of us are still trying to figure ourselves out.” 

“Okay.” 

Charlotte nods lightly, a blush having formed on her cheeks. 

“Can we talk about something else?” 

“Okay, yeah, sure.” 

“Someday maybe I‘ll be comfortable talking about it, like you, but not right now.”

“Okay, you don’t have to.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me.” 

She shrugs lightly. Then she looks up. 

“Hey, you and Chad pressed charges earlier, didn’t you? How did it go?” 

“It went alright, I think. I hope. I’m feeling weirdly relieved.” 

“I can imagine.” 

Henry puts his arm around her shoulders now, pulling her close and pressing a kiss on the top of her head. 

“I love you, Char.” 

She smiles. 

“I love you”, she whispers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don‘t leave me now that Black Friday is out. I sold my soul to this ship and I can‘t get it back anymore 
> 
> (jk you may leave anytime)   
(this is not some kinda hostage situation)


	37. Street Smarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mason doesn‘t wanna go to prison and kind of looses his mind about it. Henry watched John Mulaney and knows his Street Smarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- rifle  
\- knife  
\- death threats  
\- broken bones  
\- blood

Henry should have kind of known there‘ll be consequences. 

Mason is a force of nature in itself, there’s literally no way he’d go down without a fight. 

Henry didn’t think about the consequences of going to the police, or when he did, then not about the possibility of them being negative. 

He somehow imagined that the officers would just swarm out and arrest Mason immediately. So that was fucking stupid. 

Henry doesn’t think about the possibility of negative consequences until they happen. 

He’s in the small college theatre with Chad. 

It’s mostly just a normal room with a small stage that the stage designers somehow managed to transform into a beautiful two level underground train station. 

Chad and Henry are the only one’s there because they‘re going through the script together once more. 

The premiere is in a little less than three weeks and both of them are kind of getting nervous at this point. 

And it’s calming, spending time together and reading through each other’s scenes. 

And they enjoy spending time in the theatre anyways, because since the stage design is almost complete, it all looks like another world. 

“We stop when it’s the end”, Chad recites, “In the beginning we begin!” 

“But surely books are made to linger in”, Henry reads Alices part. 

“Are they?”, someone else asks. 

Henry freezes, looking to the door now. 

“What are you doing here?”, he fumbles out. 

“What? Disappointed that I’m not yet in prison?” 

Henry doesn’t dare to answer because every answer he can think of would just drive Mason mad.   
So he just gets up, pushing himself in front of Chad who got up as well.

“The police?”, Mason asks, “Are you guys fucking serious?” 

Henry frowns. Mason looks tired, pale. 

“Mason-“, Henry mumbles. 

“You went too far”, Mason says, a smile forming on his lips. Not a nice smile, an insane smile, a smile that indicates that he lost his mind. He reminds Henry of Christian Bale in American Psycho, for a second there. He’s laughing but there’s nothing behind his eyes. 

“My roommate told me the cops were looking for me earlier. They’re looking for me right now. It was you two, wasn’t it?” 

He doesn’t seem to expect an answer and Henry can’t talk anyway. 

Chad froze up as well, his eyes are fixed on Mason. 

“Are you fucking scared of me?”, Mason keeps going. “I could kill you. But I won’t. Or will I? I don’t know yet. I’m going to prison anyway so how the fuck does it still matter? It doesn’t, right?”

He points his fingers at Henry like a gun for a second, tilting his head, pretending to aim before he lets his hand sink again. 

Henry knows it’s not an actual gun, he doesn’t have a gun. 

But it still makes Henry feel weird. 

If Mason had a gun, maybe he‘d shoot. 

“I suppose you don’t wanna die yet”, Mason says, “Well, I don’t wanna go to prison. Funny, huh?” 

Henry could hit back. He could say something sassy, could tell Mason that it’s his fault, that he went too far and these are the consequences. 

But Henry is scared for his life. 

“This is boring when you two literally don’t even say anything”, Mason says now. 

“What do you want us to say?”, Henry asks. 

“An apology would be nice.” 

Henry presses his lips together to keep himself from telling Mason to fuck off.

“Your bodyguard isn‘t here, is he?”   


“What?” 

“Your boyfriend.” 

Oh he means Ted. 

“I don’t need a bodyguard, I can very well look after myself”, Henry says and he says it with so much confidence, that he almost feels like it’s true. 

The truth is, that Henry isn’t good at fighting people off. Especially when it’s Mason. Masons whole presence is enough to paralyse Henry in fear. 

The truth is, Henry wouldn’t mind having Ted be there right now. 

Mason comes closer to them. 

Henry eyes the side door of the stage, before looking at Chad. 

“Run”, he whispers. 

“No!?”, Chad whispers back, apparently not keen on letting Henry alone. 

“We’ll both go.” 

Henry kind of nudges him in the direction of the door. 

Chad nods lightly, then he reaches for Henrys wrist and they start running. 

They make it to the door but it’s locked. So it’s only a matter of seconds until Mason climbed on the stage and reached them. 

He grabs Henrys arm, jerking him back. 

Henry stumbles against him, before he turns around, punching him in the face. 

Chad stands there, watching in shock. 

“Chad run!”, Henry chokes out while trying to hold Mason back, “Get help!” 

Chad hesitates, before he just jumps off the stage and starts running towards the other door.He makes it out this time, because Henry keeps shoving Mason back. 

“I’m gonna kill you before they arrive”, Mason says. 

“You can try”, Henry says, before he shoves Mason away and ducks under his incoming arm. He runs, going for the small flap door on the back wall of the stage, leading to the crossover. He makes it through and climbs up the ladder to the second level, hiding behind one of the styrofoam walls. 

He can hear Mason follow him, not yet figuring out that Henry went up the ladder. 

Henry tries his best to breath quietly. His heart is beating so fast and loud in his chest, he’s almost sure that Mason must hear it. 

“Did you go up there?”, Mason asks. 

Henry frowns. 

Does he expect an answer? 

How stupid does he think Henry is? 

He hears Mason climb the ladder now. He looks around for some kind of weapon and actually spots one of the prop rifles on the floor about three feet away. 

God knows how it got there but Henry is thankful, because that’s better than nothing. 

And thanks to the _Brillig Braelig_ choreography he kind of even knows how to hold that thing. 

He takes a quick glance around the wall and sees that Mason went into the other direction. 

So he quickly goes for the rifle, grabbing it and pulling it to his chest. 

When he looks back at Mason, Mason turned around and their gazes meet. 

A smile forms on Masons lips. 

“There you are.” 

Henry turns to him, quickly pointing the rifle at him. 

_Now_ he’s thrown him off his rhythm. 

_Street smarts_, he inconveniently thinks to himself in this actually quite serious moment. 

Mason hesitates. 

“Where did you get that?” 

“Does it matter?” 

“Is it real?”

“Do you want to find out?”

“I’m sure it’s not real. Or if it’s real, it’s not loaded.” 

“Why don’t you come closer then?” 

Mason tilts his head, watching Henry. He’s really stupid enough to believe that Henry suddenly got an actual rifle out of nowhere. 

Mason takes a few hesitant steps towards Henry and Henry just slams the rifle in his chest, pushing him back. 

Because it might not fire but it can still be a weapon. 

Mason reaches for the rifle and jerks it closer to himself, pulling Henry along. It all happens really quick. Masons fist meets Henrys nose and Henry stumbles over his own feet and then he‘s on the floor and Mason is on top of him, using the rifle to press him down on the floor by pressing it against Henrys chest. 

He laughs, perhaps after he noticed the fear in Henrys eyes. 

“Oh”, he says with playful empathy. 

He throws the rifle away and uses his arms instead, leaning onto Henry with his whole weight. 

Henry reaches for Masons neck, in an attempt to choke him and maybe make him pull back. 

He doesn’t pull back. There’s a fire of anger and amusement in his eyes. 

He grabs Henrys chin, pushing it up. 

“Did you really think you could trick me?” 

“At least I did for a while”, Henry chokes out, having found himself once again in a position he had hoped to avoid forever. Being pressed down on the floor with Mason on top of him.

Being pressed against hard surfaces with no way to escape is probably going to haunt him forever. 

He feels Masons fingers on his lips now. 

In a last attempt to get him off, Henry turns, and pushes Mason to the side. Mason looses balance and falls off the second level of the stage. 

Henry hesitates, still on his back. He didn’t hear Mason land. 

He looks to his side to see Mason push himself up on the platform again, having caught himself on the edge of it, maybe. 

Henry quickly sits up and scrambles away. 

Mason gets his ankle, pulling himself up completely by holding onto it. 

Henry kicks him away and gets up, running towards the ladder that leads back down. 

He’s caught just moments before his perfect escape. Mason pulls him back and jerks him around.

Henry finds himself against Masons chest, with Masons hot breath in his neck. 

He tries to kick Masons shins and he tries to get out of his grip until he hears something click. 

He freezes, when he feels something cool right below his chin, pressing against his neck. 

”Stop”, Mason says. 

“What is that?”, Henry fumbles out. 

“A knife, obviously.” 

It must be a pocket knife, according to the clicking sound. Is that even sharp enough to cut through skin? Henry would rather not test it. 

So he holds still, trying to breath as calm as possible because every time he takes a breath, the knife presses against his neck. 

“What do you want from me?”, Henry asks. 

“Tell them you lied to get attention.” 

“No.” 

“You’d rather die than do that?” 

“Yeah”, Henry says, even though he’s not sure about that. 

”You know, I’m so sick of you.” 

“That’s mutual.” 

“You’re really gonna talk to me like that while I have your life in my hands?” 

“You didn’t kill me yet.” 

The door to the theatre slams open now and cops swarm in. 

“Mr Brooks, put down the weapon!” 

Masons grip on Henry weakens for a moment, maybe in shock. 

Henry spots Chad, next to one of the cops, his eyes widened in shock upon seeing Henry in such a position. 

“Weapon down!”, one of them shouts. 

The knife clatters to the floor, then Mason shoves Henry away, towards the edge of the platform, and runs in the other direction. 

Henry stumbles and falls. 

For some reason he tries to catch himself in the fall, tries to stop the fall by stretching his arm out towards the floor. 

There’s a crack when he lands on the stage and he hears himself scream, when an unbearable pain shoots through his arm, drawing tears in his eyes. 

He makes the mistake to look at it. Then he faints. 

Maybe because the pain is too much or maybe because he just saw his bone and he never intended for such thing to happen. 


	38. Time To Get Back Above The Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry wakes up in a hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- hospital  
\- broken arm

Henry wakes up to the smell of disinfectants and the sound of someone talking about him. 

He notices his moms voice and the one of some stranger. A woman. 

He tries to open his eyes, he manages for a moment, but immediately closes them again because the light nearly blinds him. 

“Henry?”, his dad asks. 

“Yah”, Henry mumbles. 

“Too bright?”

“Yeah.” 

He hears the rustling of those plastic hospital curtains and the clicking sound of a light switch. 

When he opens his eyes again, it’s dark in the room. 

His dad is sitting on a chair next to his bed, he clearly cried. He didn’t even try to hide it, his cheeks are still wet and his eyes are reddened. 

Henry spots his mom on the other side of the bed. She’s watching him, with concern in her expression. Her mascara is a little smudged. 

Next to her is a doctor. 

“I’m fine”, Henry mumbles, to calm them down. 

“You broke your arm and you have some bruised rips”, the doctor says. 

Henry remembers his arm. 

His bone.  
Oh god he saw his bone. 

“No”, he says, looking at his arm now, wrapped in a cast. “No I can’t break my arm.” 

The musical is in less than three weeks. This is just bullshit. 

“But you did”, his dad carefully says. 

“How am I supposed to do the choreography?”

“You shouldn’t be doing too straining tasks. Maybe you have to sit this one out.” 

“No?!”

“Shh”, his dad makes, putting his cold hand down on Henrys forehead, maybe to calm him down. 

“Where’s Mason?”, Henry goes on, remembering his attempt to escape all of sudden. 

“He tried to escape and got slightly shot by one of the officers. He’s going to survive it, but he’ll have to go to prison”, his dad explains.

“How’s Chad?” 

“He’s okay. He’s with his father outside.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry nods lightly, relieved that at least everything else worked out okay. 

“When can I leave?” 

“We’d like to keep you for the night”, the doctor says. 

“What day is it? How long was I gone?” 

“It’s still today. You were unconscious for about 3 hours. We narcotised you while we reinstated your bone.” 

“Oh.” 

“Do you wanna come home for a few days?”, his dad asks now, watching Henry. 

“I’m okay.” 

“You went through a traumatic experience. It’s okay to take a few days off college.” 

“I’ll think about it, okay?” 

“Sure.” 

“Do my friends know what happened?”

“Yes, they’re outside.” 

“All of them?”

“I think so. There’s six.” 

“Does Frankie know?” 

“Not yet.” 

“She’ll be worried.”

“Do you want me to tell her?” 

“Make sure she doesn’t loose her mind and come here. She has better stuff to do, I just broke my arm.” 

“Okay.” His dad smiles. “I’ll try and tell her that.” 

“I will leave you alone, I’ll be back in ten minutes to run some tests”, the doctor says, before she gifts Henry a smile and leaves the room. 

“How are you feeling?”, his mom asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed now and reaching for his hand. The one that’s not wrapped in a cast. The left one, to be more specific. 

Of course he’d break his right arm. That’s just his luck. 

Maybe he can learn to write and do anything with his left hand. 

Ted is left handed. Henry somehow remembers that in that moment. 

“I’m okay. ..I suppose they gave me something for the pain?” 

She nods. “They did.” 

“Yeah, I don’t feel anything.” 

“That’s good. The fall was pretty rough. Apparently your bone came through.” 

“Yeah I saw it. That’s why I fainted. That and the pain.” 

“What exactly happened in there?” 

“Well Mason came and he was ..mad, to put it lightly. And I held him back so Chad could run and get help. And then we kind of fought. I almost made it, I swear. I had the upper hand until he pulled out a knife. He said he’d kill me. Then the cops came in and he pushed me off the second level.”

His mom clasped her hand over her mouth. 

“I’m glad he’s going to prison. You know what? I’m even glad he got shot. I hope he’s in pain.” 

“I agree”, Henry’s dad mumbles. 

“Guys?”, Henry whispers, surprised at how aggressive his usually pacifistic parents sound. 

“Henry, I know we taught you that violence is usually not the right way but I would murder everybody who hurt you.” 

”I-.. thanks mom.” 

She nods lightly, squeezing his hand now. 

— 

Henrys dad calls Frankie while the doctor runs a few tests. As soon as the doctor left, Henry is handed his phone. 

“She wants you to video call her.” 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles, clumsily unlocking his phone with his left hand. 

Before he can dial Frankie, she calls him. He accepts her call, making sure the camera is pointed on him. 

“Show your arm”, she greets him. 

He frowns and turns the camera to his arm. He even manages to get a half assed peace sign. 

“Oh shit, I don’t believe this.” 

“Hi Frankie”, Henry says now, pointing the camera back at himself. 

“Stop getting hurt! I hate being so worried. If you keep going, I’ll fucking visit you.” 

“You don’t have to come here. I’m fine.” 

“You’re not fine. God, I want to commit murder.” 

“Frankie please calm down.” 

“How are you so calm?” 

“I suppose I’m still in shock. And I’m on a lot of medication because of the pain so that might be it.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah I am.” 

“Can I roast you?” 

Henry smiles. “Go on.” 

“Fuck, I can’t believe you fell off a stage, that’s so you, you dramatic bitch.” 

“I didn’t fall on purpose.” 

“Yeah, that would have been even more dramatic.” 

“What a shame. I saw my own bone though.”

“Dope.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I hope you never see your bone again.” 

“Me too.” 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Okay. A little drowsy.” 

“You should sleep.”

“I’m fine.” 

“Nah.” 

“I really am.” 

“Are you though?” 

“You don’t need to mother me, mom’s right here.” 

“And I think you should get some more sleep too”, his mom chimes in. 

Henry rolls his eyes. 

“Okay”, he quietly gives in. 

“Okay, good night, I guess. I’ll call you again tomorrow, yeah?” 

“Okay. Night.” 

Frankie gifts him a smile, then she hangs up. 

Henry puts his phone on the table next to his bed, yawning now. 

“Can we get you something?”, his mom asks. 

“Maybe water or something to drink?” 

“Of course.” 

She gets up and leaves the room, leaving Henry and his dad alone. 

It’s quiet for a while. 

Henrys dad starts to fiddle with his hands, seeming nervous but caught in his thoughts. 

“Dad?”, Henry asks quietly. 

When he looks up, Henry sees tears in his eyes. 

“Hey”, Henry whispers, cracking a hesitant smile because he doesn’t want his dad to cry now. He doesn’t want this to be all serious. He doesn’t want to cry too.

“I should have been there for you”, he says. 

“But you were.” 

Henry just grabs his dads hand and squeezes it, because he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to do. 

That’s when the sobs break out of his father. He just pulls Henrys hand in both of his, holding it to his chest. 

“Dad”, Henry whispers before he sits up, crawling closer to his dad so he can hug him. 

His dad just starts to sob against Henrys shoulder. 

They sit like that for a while.

Then Henrys mom comes back, bringing a bottle of water. 

She sits down next to Henrys dad and hugs him while Henry drinks. 

It’s quiet after that. 

Awfully quiet. 

“Who of my friends is crying the most?”, Henry jokes, to lighten up the mood. 

“Ted”, both of them say in unison. 

“Oh”, Henry mumbles. _Oh_, he thinks. “I was kidding, but oh, okay.”

“Charlotte is a close second”, his mom says.

“Can I see them?” 

“They said only family for now. But we made sure they all know you’re okay.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Okay.” 

“You should get some sleep now.” 

Henry nods again, sinking deeper in his pillow and pulling his blanket up. 

His mom gets up and places a kiss on his forehead. 

“We’ll be back in the morning okay? They’re already kicking us out.” 

Henry smiles and nods. 

“Okay.” 

His dad hugs him goodbye as well. 

“We’ll be here as soon as they let us in, yeah?” 

“Take your time, I’ll be fine.” 

“No, you’re not getting rid of us.” 

Henry smiles. 

“See you tomorrow then.” 

“See you. I love you.” 

“Love you too.” 

They leave and then Henry is alone. 

—

Henry is alone for maybe fifteen minutes. He closed his eyes, mostly out of boredom. 

He’s not even feeling tired anymore.

He hears the door click open and opens his eyes. 

He smiles when he sees Ted slip inside, sneaking into his room like some kind of secret lover. 

Ted carefully closes the door, then he proceeds to stare at Henry for a few seconds through the dark. 

“Hen?”, he whispers. 

“Yeah”, Henry says. 

Ted smiles, seeming relieved. “Thank god. I just sneaked into the wrong room first.” 

Henry laughs. 

“Glad you’re amused, the elderly lady wasn’t.” 

“What are you doing anyways?” 

“I wanted to see you. What kinda question is that?” 

“Here I am.” 

“Yeah, I’m looking at you.” 

Henry smiles. 

Ted comes closer now and sits down on the edge of the bed. 

Henry moves over. 

“Come here”, he mumbles, “Go all the way, if you’re already sneaking in.” 

“What? Are we role playing forbidden lovers now?” 

“Always my dear.” 

“Oh even a petname. He’s committing.” 

Henry chuckles, while Ted lays down next to him. Ted wraps himself around Henry, his head resting on his shoulder. 

Henry puts his arms around Ted and accidentally hits his temple with his cast when he attempts to run his fingers through Teds hair. 

“Oh”, he chuckles, “Sorry.” 

Ted smiles. “Ouch.” 

“Sorry”, Henry says again, letting his casted arm sink onto the mattress again. 

It’s quiet for a while. 

“You really broke your arm, huh?”, Ted then whispers. 

“Yeah.” 

“Does it hurt?” 

“I‘m on so much pain medication right now I don‘t have a single feeling left.” 

Ted chuckles, watching him. 

“Shit Hen”, he whispers after a while, getting more serious again. 

“What?” 

“I thought you were dead.” 

“Why would you think that?” 

“I heard a gunshot. I saw them rush you in an ambulance.” 

Henry feels Teds hand sneak up to his face, cupping it. His thumb keeps caressing Henrys temple and Henry is from then on mostly concentrated on that, unable to keep track of the conversation. 

“I’m not gonna die”, he fumbles out. 

“You could have told me that earlier. I balled my eyes out.” 

Henry smiles. “You cried for me?”

“Don’t be so full of yourself.”

Henry laughs. 

“No, for real. Of course I cried for you, you’re my favourite.” 

“Favourite what?” 

“Human being.” 

Henry smiles brightly, unable to keep himself from doing it. 

He should just kiss Ted. 

Right? 

Right there, he could just turn his head to him and kiss him and tell him about those goddamn butterflies deep in his belly. 

“But don’t let that get to your head”, Ted says now, “The bar is fucking low.” 

“Well I’ll still feel honoured”, Henry says. 

“‘Kay.” 

Henry hesitates. Then he bundles all of his courage and turns his head to Ted. Their noses gently bump into each other. 

Ted smiles. 

“Hi”, he says. 

“Hi”, Henry whispers. It’s more of a quiet choking sound, really. 

Ted stares into Henrys eyes and Henry stares back. 

“Hen?”, Ted whispers. 

“Yeah?”

“I-.. there’s..” 

Henry waits patiently, thinking for some reason that this is it. The moment of them confessing their elusively deep love for each other. 

“I never realised that you have freckles.” 

“I do in summer.” 

“Cute.” 

Henry smiles. 

Say it say it say it _say it_. 

He opens his mouth but stops there. His heart is beating too fast and his throat feels twisted. 

Ted starts to play with Henrys hospital robe. Henry didn’t even register himself wearing that until now. 

“Are you naked under that thing?”, Ted then asks, completely destroying the moment, maybe even on purpose.

Henry tries not to be too disappointed. 

Ted probably got uncomfortable. 

They‘re just friends after all, Henry should accept that and not hope for more. He almost feels bad for coming Ted so close, because Ted seems uneasy and kind of awkward now. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?”, Henry mumbles, in an attempt to relax the whole situation. 

It works, Ted laughs at that. “I love you so much“, he whispers a few seconds later. 

Henry smiles. “I love you too. Also, I’m wearing underwear.” 

Ted chuckles and pushes himself closer to Henry now, to kiss his cheek, then he cuddles against his chest. 

Henry fully turns to him and wraps both of his arms around him, even going as far as letting his cast-less hand sink in Teds hair. 

He presses a kiss on the top of Teds head while he lets his fingers run through his hair. Mostly because he’s been wanting to touch Teds hair like that for a while now. It always looks so soft. It is really soft, of course it is. 

This almost feels like dating. 

So maybe it’s fine. Maybe it’s better than telling Ted how he feels because Henry can’t think of anything worse than actually voicing his feelings. 

This will have to do. 

They lay like that for a while, long enough for Henry to actually get sleepy again. 

He’s in the process of drifting off when Ted carefully pulls away.

“I should go before I fall asleep.” 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles. 

“See you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah.” 

Henry doesn’t open his eyes, he’s kind of too tired for that. 

He notices Ted get up and he hears him chuckle. 

He can feel Teds hand in his hair, his fingers running through it, caressing it. 

“Good night”, he says. 

Henry smiles, cracking one of his eyes open for a moment. “Night.” 

Teds fingers leave his hair. A few seconds later the door clicks open and falls shut again. 


	39. Coffee And Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henrys friends visit him at the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- hospital

His parents really are back the minute visiting times are open again. 

“Henry!”, his dad says, a cheer in his voice that kind of spoils that there’s good news. 

“What is it?”, Henry asks. 

His mom sits down on the chair next to him and reaches for his hand while his dad starts explaining. 

“Do you remember the cat we were going to get?” 

Henry totally forgot about that but he nods anyways, remembering now.

“Well he’s now old enough to be separated from his mother so he’s coming tomorrow!” 

“Really?” 

“Yes! Do you wanna be there when he arrives?” 

“Do you wanna trick me into coming home for a few days?” 

“Yes?“ 

“It’s working. I wanna meet that cat.” 

“Yes?” 

“But I’ll only come home for a few days okay? I won’t stay for weeks, even if you are going to try and make me stay. And I wanna talk to Mrs Duncan first, about Alice By Heart.” 

“Okay, that can be arranged.” 

“Do you guys have a name yet?” 

“No, we thought we’d agree on one as a family as soon as the young man is home.” 

“That’ll be hard.” 

“Yeah.” 

It’s quiet after that, while Henry starts to think about possible names. 

He can only think of musical ones, since there’s literally a Cats musical where he can get inspiration. 

But Frankie would kill him if he tried to name the cat after a musical character and he also already named their car Skimbleshanks. 

“I think Captain Hook would be fun”, his dad says now. 

“We should wait on Frankie”, his mom says. 

His dad nods. "'Kay", he whispers.  


"There's more news!", Henrys mom suddenly announces, as if she just remembered, "About Mason."

"Did he die?", Henry asks. 

"No but guess who's going to prison for at least 20 years!", his dads says, probably a little too cheerfully. 

"20 years?", Henry asks, barely able to believe it. This is almost too good to be true. 

"Yes! He's charged for sexual assault, attempted rape in more than one case, rape _and_ attempted murder. It does not look good for him." 

Henry can't help but smile at this. 

Part of him feels like he shouldn't gloat over this so much but the other part knows very well how much Mason deserves this. Henry can gloat as much as he wants. 

"You might have to make an official statement to the police. About what happened in that theatre. Are you okay with that?"

Henry nods. "Yeah I can do that."

"I was on the phone with George this morning. He's there to help if any more problems come up. But everything looks pretty set."

"Thank you."

His dad smiles and lets his hand wander through Henrys hair for a moment, messing it up.

It’s quiet again until his dads phone dings. 

He looks at it. 

“Henry, Ted wants you to look on your phone.” 

Henry frowns. “Ted just texted you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why does he have your number?” 

“We exchanged yesterday because I wanted to sent him a video of dancing owls.” 

Henry just nods because that sounds exactly like something his dad would do, he’s not even surprised.

He reaches for his phone and unlocks it, just to see a few texts from Ted coming in.

_coffee? _

_do you want a coffee? _

_darling _

_Henry Hidgens _

_istg why is your phone always on silent? _

_gonna text your dad _

Henry looks up at his parents. 

“Am I allowed to drink coffee?” 

“Yeah why shouldn’t you?” 

“Because of the painkillers or something, I don’t know.” 

“No I think you’re good to go.” 

“‘Kay”, Henry mumbles, texting Ted back as quickly as he can with his left hand. 

_Yes!!! _

_the usual? _

_Yes _

_k, be there in an hour _

Henry smiles at the fact that Ted remembers his coffee order as he puts his phone back on the nightstand table. It’s not that wild of a concept, Henry knows Teds too. They go for coffee together often enough. 

But still, it kinda shows that Ted cares and that makes Henry happy. 

His parents are smiling when he looks up and Henry blushes involuntarily. 

“What?”, he whispers. 

“You should date that guy”, his dad says, getting nudged by Henrys mom immediately. She just shakes her head at him. 

“Don’t tell Henry who to date.” 

“You thought he was great too!” 

“Yeah dad, I can make my own decisions”, Henry chimes in. 

“I just think he’s awesome.” 

“Because he watched your owl video?” 

“That’s not the only reason.” 

“Sure.” 

— 

Ted comes in about forty minutes later. 

Henry changed into different clothes at that point, sweatpants and a T-shirt his parents brought from home. 

“Hey Earl, hi Erin”, Ted says, like they’re friends. 

“Hi”, Henrys mom says. 

His dad smiles brightly. “Ted!” 

“Hey”, Henry says now and Ted looks at him, a bright smile forming on his lips. 

He comes to Henry, handing him the coffee. 

“Here you go, darling.” 

“Thanks, I love you.” 

“Are you talking to the coffee?” 

“Clearly.” 

Henry sits up to drink. 

“Chad, Bill and Charlotte are coming too in a bit, they’re just trying to find parking. I didn’t want this to get cold.” 

“You’re a hero, thank you.” 

Henry takes a sip and closes his eyes, sighing quietly because it’s so good. 

“How are you?”, Ted asks. 

“Amazing now.” 

Ted chuckles

“You have a serious problem.” 

“You keep supporting it.” 

“Well, if I don’t support your drinking habit, who will?” 

Henry laughs and so does his dad. 

The door opens again now and Charlotte swarms in. 

Henry quickly hands the coffee back to Ted, so he can hug her back when she falls into his arms, crying out a rather dramatic “Oh Henry!”

Then she quickly gets up again. 

“I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?” 

“No, no, it’s all good! Hey, thanks for coming.” 

“Of course we’re here.” 

She leans back against his chest, hugging him again. 

“Charlotte move over, let us hug him too.” 

She groans but sits up, reaching for Henrys hand and not letting go. 

“Hey man”, Bill says, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Charlotte. “How are you?” 

“I’m good, I’m okay.” 

“Hey Henry!” 

That’s Chad.

“Hi, how are you?”, Henry asks. 

Chad doesn’t answer, he just comes on the other side of Henrys bed, falling into his arms. Henry pulls him closer. 

“Thank you for everything”, Chad mumbles into Henrys neck. 

“Thank you for getting help.” 

“I was horrible at it. I could barely talk and I stumbled over my words. They didn’t get what I was trying to tell them for a solid five minutes.”

Henry smiles. 

“It’s okay. You made it in time anyways.” 

“Well you fought him off like a badass.” 

“I mostly ran and hid.” 

“Don’t be so humble.” 

Henry chuckles. “You too then.” 

“Both of you are heroes”, Bill says. 

Chad pulls away from Henry to look at Bill, gifting him a smile. 

“I’m really not, I just..” 

He stops talking and blushes and Henry smiles when he remembers how Chad said he’s kinda into Bill. 

"Have you heard?", Chad asks now, "Mason might face about 20 years." 

Henry nods and smiles. "Yeah my parents told me earlier." 

Chad smiles brightly and Henry can't help but do the same. 

“Emma and Paul will be here later, they still have a class”, Charlotte explains their absence into the newly arisen silence. 

“Okay.” 

“Hey Henry?”, his dad asks. 

“Yeah?” Henry looks up to him. 

“We’ll go for a walk, we’ll be back, yeah?” 

Henry nods. “Okay, I love you.” 

“Love you too.” 

They leave and it’s quiet afterwards. 

Chad is kind of still leaning in Henrys arms and Charlotte is still holding onto his hand. 

“Okay as much as I love you guys, I’m really longing for that coffee in Teds hand”, Henry admits. 

They both let go and Ted hands back the coffee before he goes for one of the chairs, pulling it to Henrys bed and sitting down. 

Charlotte lays down next to Henry, who quickly moves over a little.

She reaches for the remote on the nightstand table. 

“Is this for the bed?” 

“I think so”, Henry says.

She pushes a button and the top part of the bed moves up. 

She laughs quietly and mumbles “Fun!” 

Henry smiles and takes another sip of his coffee, when his phone rings. 

He reaches for it and looks on the display to see who it is. 

“Frankie”, he says. 

“Frankie?”, Charlotte asks, sitting up. 

“Yeah do you want to-“ 

“I can take it.” 

He just hands her the phone and she accepts the call, holding the phone to her ear. 

“Hi Frankie”, she says, “yeah, it’s Charlotte.” 

She gets up and walks over to the window, nervously playing with those plastic curtains as she keeps talking to Frankie. 

Bill just takes in her spot, laying down next to Henry now. 

“This isn’t as uncomfortable as I expected”, he says.

“Yeah, spend a night in it and we’ll talk again.” 

“Are you in pain?”, Ted asks, looking worried. 

“Yeah, my arm hurts like shit”, Henrys admits, “It’s been like that since I woke up.” 

“And they didn’t give you something against it?” 

“They did. But it didn’t work, or not yet.” 

“Can they give you more?” 

Henry smiles now, at how concerned Ted looks. 

“I can take a little pain. I’m fine”, he assures him. 

The bed moves up even further and Henry notices that Bill got a hold of the remote. 

Chad kind of lets himself drop next to Henry now, laying down as well. 

“I might go home for a few days”, Henry says, while he wraps his arm around Chad so he doesn’t fall off the bed. It’s barely big enough for three people. 

“How long?”, Bill asks. 

“Like three days or something. Not long. I just want to meet my parents cat and satisfy my dads need to protect me.” 

“Cat?”, Ted asks. 

“Yeah, he’s gonna move in tomorrow.” 

Charlotte comes back now, handing Henry the phone. “She wants to talk to you now”, she says. 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles, reaching for it and holding it to his ear. 

“Hi Frankie”, he says. 

“Women, huh?”, she just mumbles. 

Henry frowns. “I’m gay.” 

“Ugh, yeah. How are you?” 

“Great. My friends are here. Ted brought me coffee.” 

“Marry that man.” 

“You sound like dad.” 

“He said that too?” 

Henry chuckles. “Well something like it.” 

“We’re right, I suppose.” 

“Shut up.” 

“What are you doing today?” 

“Go home, I guess. To mom and dad that means. Gonna meet the cat tomorrow.” 

“No way!” 

“Yeah. Jealous?” 

“So fucking jealous.” 

“We won’t name him without you, don’t worry.” 

“Good.” 

“How are you?” 

“Great. ..yeah.” 

“That sounded like a lie.” 

“Don’t worry about me, yeah?” 

“Frankie-“ 

“Can you hand me back to the love of my life now?” 

“Charlotte?” 

“Duh.” 

“Are you really okay?” 

“Yeah, good god. I’m fine.” 

“Okay. Talk to you later?” 

“Yeah, love you.” 

Henry nods lightly. “Love you too”, he mumbles, before he hands the phone back to Charlotte. 

“She wants you again”, he says. 

Charlotte blushes. “Yeah?” 

Henry nods and then she’s gone again, along with his phone. 

“I have to pee”, Henry announces and Bill makes place for him to get out of the bed. 

Henry rolls out, shuddering a little because it’s a lot colder in the room than he expected. 

— 

When Henry gets back, Bill and Chad are still in his bed, cuddling like a married couple and playing with the remote while laughing quietly. Charlotte and Ted are at the window, Charlotte is still on the phone.

“Is it just me or is it really cold in here?”, Henry asks, still freezing somehow. 

“It’s not cold”, Ted says, having turned around at the sound of his voice. “Are you cold?” 

Henry shrugs lightly, before he nods. 

“Do you have a sweater here? Do you want mine?” 

“No, I’m okay.” 

But Ted is already fumbling himself out of his sweater, coming towards Henry. 

“There you go”, he says, holding it towards him. 

Henry just stares at it for a moment, unable to function at the prospect of being given someone else’s sweater. 

“Hen?”, Ted asks. 

Henry slowly snaps out of it. “Yeah, sorry. Are you sure?” 

Ted chuckles and nods. 

“Of course I’m sure.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry takes it and slips inside, getting stuck at the cast but managing somehow. 

It smells so much like Ted, it’s amazing. 

“Thank you”, he mumbles. 

“No problem.” 

The door opens behind Henry right as him and Ted are homoerotically staring at each other. 

Henry turns around to see Paul and Emma. 

“We skipped our last class!”, Emma announces before running at Henry and hugging him. 

“Hey dude. You better not do this again. I wanted to murder Mason but Ted said I can’t do that.” 

“I didn’t say you can’t do that”, Ted clarifies, “I said we should be smart about it and wait until there’s no security cameras and police around.” 

“You’re a fucking coward.” 

“I’m smart!” 

“You guys don’t have to kill Mason, he’s going to prison anyway”, Henry chimes in. 

He is still cold, so he wraps his arms around himself now. 

Ted seems to notice because it doesn’t take long until he’s at Henry, his arms sneaking around his waist and pulling him close. 

“It would be so satisfying though”, Emma says, even getting an agreeing nod from Ted. 

“Babe you guys really should be careful”, Paul says. 

“Aw thanks babe, I appreciate it”, Ted answers, earning a laugh from Paul and a “Fuck off” from Emma. 

“What? Do you think I’ll steal your boy?”, Ted asks. 

Paul chuckles, but got all red, just shaking his head now. 

“Funny, Richards”, Emma says. 

“Thank you.” 

“Hi Henry”, Paul says now and Henry smiles at him, waving lightly. 

“Hi”, he says. 

“When can you leave?” 

Paul is probably just trying to change the topic. He seems uneasy, suddenly. 

“Today.” 

“What are Chad and Bill doing over there?”, Emma asks. 

“God knows”, Ted mumbles, looking amused as Chad laughs loudly about who knows what. 

Henry catches himself smiling, at the sight of Chad looking happy. 

He can’t remember ever having seen him like that. Not even after they pressed charges. 

It’s nice to see Chad like that. 

Maybe it’s Bill, maybe it’s something else, but whatever it is, Henry is happy about it. 


	40. Mr. Humbugger!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry is home at his parents house. The new cat makes his first appearance and Ted visits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys better read that chapter title in Roberts voice

Henry did talk to Mrs Duncan and she promised him that they’ll try the choreography next rehearsal, to see what parts he can do and what parts they’ll have to cut. 

But he’s allowed to perform.

Probably mostly because they don’t have any understudies but he’s thankful anyway. 

It took a lot of persuading and promising that he’s really really okay and well enough to do straining things and Henry might have even lied a little and told Mrs Duncan that the doctors said he’s good to go. 

The doctors didn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to know that, right? 

Henry knows himself, he knows his body and he feels like he can do it. 

He also talked to the police with his dad and it went pretty good. Mason is finally out of his life. 

He’s at home now, home alone. 

He’s waiting on his parents to come back. 

They left about an hour ago to get the new family member and they should be home any minute. 

Frankie already joined Henry over video call and she keeps suggesting weird names and he keeps rejecting them. 

“Gérard!”, she says now. 

“No”, Henry mumbles, focused on his Alice By Heart script. 

“Augustus.” 

“No.” 

“Frankie junior?” 

“Franks..” 

“Is that a yes?” 

“Of course not.” 

He hears his parents in the driveway now and pushes his script away, getting up. 

“Hey!”, Frankie shouts when he forgets her on his bed and he quickly runs back, grabbing his phone before he hurries down the stairs. 

His parents reach the door, just as he rips it open. 

His dad is triumphantly holding up the carrier. 

“The boy is home”, he says and Henry can hear Frankie cheer over the phone. 

“Let’s bring him in the living room, shall we?”, Henrys mom says and his dad follows her suggestion, carrying the box in the living room with Henry following close. 

He sets it down on the ground and Henry places his phone on the coffee table, so Frankie can see everything. 

As soon as his mom is there too, his dad opens the box. 

“He looks like Mr. Mistoffelees”, Henry notes immediately, noticing the black fur, the white belly. 

“He’s gorgeous. But we’re not calling him that”, Frankie says. 

The cat slowly pushes himself out of the box now, his wide eyes wandering through the room and Henry wants to cuddle him so bad. 

“Earl Junior”, Henrys dad says. 

“Dad I swear to god, Frankie tried the same shit earlier”, Henry whispers, more to himself than to his dad. 

“I think we should give him an elegant name”, Henrys mom notes now, “he looks like royalty.” 

“He acts like royalty”, Henry admits. 

“All cats do”, Frankie says. 

“As they should.” 

“Mr. Humbugger”, Henrys dad says and then it’s just quiet while everybody stares at the cat. 

“Dad where did you get that?”, Frankie asks. 

“Nowhere. I just thought Mister suits that little gentleman and humbugger is a really funny word to me.” 

“I like it”, Henrys mom says. 

“Of course you do, you like everything dad likes”, Henry mumbles, deep down unable to deny that he also thinks the name suits the cat perfectly. 

“I think it’s fun too”, Frankie says. 

“Okay”, Henry gives in. 

“Yes?”, his dad asks, getting visibly excited. 

Henry nods and so does Frankie and his mom. 

“Mr. Humbugger it is!” 

Henry reaches for him now, letting his knuckles wander over his soft fur.

“I love him”, he whispers, not even meaning to say it out loud but somehow doing it anyway. 

Then Mr. Humbugger leaves, likely to explore his new home. 

— 

On his third day at home, Henry gets insanely bored. He promised his parents to stay at least three days. He thought about leaving that evening but his mom talked him into staying one more night by promising him that she would drive him back to college the next day. And Henry could take the bus but he doesn’t want to because it would take him about one hour and it’s just half an hour with the car. 

He’s on the phone with Ted now, because Ted just got back to their room from his last class that day and he called Henry, to make sure Henry is still alive. 

“I’m so bored”, Henry mumbles, his phone laying on his chest and put on speaker. He’s laying on his bed and he’s staring at the ceiling. 

Mr. Humbugger is next to him because for some reason he likes to sleep on Henrys bed. Henry doesn’t mind, in fact, he feels honoured. It’s like he’s the chosen one.

“Do you want me to come over?”, Ted jokes. 

“That would be awesome”, Henry chuckles, actually meaning it. 

“How long would it take for me to be there if I take the bus?” 

“Like an hour. Depends on when the next one goes.” 

“Do you actually want me to come?”, Ted asks. 

“I mean..”, he’d love that, “I’d be really happy about it. But you don’t have to, I’m sure you have better stuff to do and I’ll be back tomorrow anyway.” 

“Jesus Hen, you always talk like you’re scared of being a burden. Shut up, I love you.” 

Henry chuckles now, kind of nervous because Ted is right. He _is_ scared of being a burden, most of the time. 

“So you’d come?”, Henry asks. 

“Send me the address and I’ll be there in an hour.” 

“Okay.” 

— 

Ted is there one and a half hours later. 

He texts Henry on the way from the bus station to his house and Henry is already standing at the door when Ted reaches the driveway. 

He has earphones in and a smile forms on his lips when he spots Henry in the doorway. 

He pulls his earphones out when he reaches Henry. 

“Nice sweater.” 

Henry blushes when he realises that he’s still wearing Teds sweater. 

He put it on that morning because he was cold but he actually meant to take it off before Ted arrives. 

“It’s really comfortable”, Henry tries to justify it. 

“Yeah, right? Definitely suits you better than me though.” 

Ted can’t just _say_ stuff like that.

“That’s not true”, Henry fumbles out. 

“Yes it is.” 

“You really came.” 

“Duh.” 

“Come in.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry closes the door behind Ted and his dad is in the corridor as soon as he hears them come in.

“Ted!” 

“Hey!”, Ted says and they hug. 

Henry shouldn’t be so surprised about this, since his dad befriends literally everyone. 

But this is so weird. 

“What are you doing?”, Ted asks, having noticed the tool belt. 

Henry only noticed it now as well, he was also about to ask. 

“I’m building a little cat tree for Mr. Humbugger.” 

“What?”, Henry asks. 

“Yeah I decided that about an hour ago and now I’m doing it. I had some spare wood in the shed outside.” 

“That’s so cool”, Ted says. 

“Do you need help?”, Henry asks, not eager to help but still wanting to at least offer it. 

“No no, I’m almost done. I’ll show you guys as soon as I’m done, yeah?” 

Henry nods. “Okay. Have fun.” 

He reaches for Teds wrist, to pull him up the stairs. 

“You too!”, his dad says and Ted waves, before he follows Henry. 

— 

Henry opens the door to his room and Ted steps inside, looking around. 

“This is so you”, he says, almost immediately. 

Henry chuckles. “How is this me?” 

“It’s so fucking neat. And there’s playbills and a Little Shop Of Horrors poster-.. Do you play the piano?” 

Henry looks up to see Ted stare at the keyboard. 

“Yeah”, he says. 

“Can you play something now?” 

“No.” 

Ted chuckles. “Okay,” 

He fumbles with his earphones now, rolling them up. 

“What were you listening to? Earlier?”, Henry asks. 

“Wanna hear?” 

“Yeah.” 

Ted gives him one of the earbuds and puts the other one into his own ear, before he clicks play on his phone. 

He stares at Henry when it starts and smiles when Henry lights up, recognising it. 

It’s _All I’ve Ever Known_ from Hadestown. 

“I love that”, Henry mumbles. 

“Yeah, me too. I have such a crush on both of them.” 

Henry laughs quietly. “Yeah?” 

Ted nods. “Yeah, shit.” 

He slips the phone into the pocket of his jeans now, then he pulls Henry closer and along to the song. 

Henry laughs but let’s it happen, sinking against Ted and dancing with him. Teds hands are slithering over his back, pulling him into a slow spin. 

Ted chuckles and so does Henry, as he rests his head on Teds shoulder. 

They stand there, hugging for a while and Henry tries not to question it. 

This is platonic, right? 

He looks up and almost kisses Ted on accident because he’s so close. 

Both of them turn away almost immediately, but Henry can‘t help but wonder what would have happened if he had lingered just a bit longer. 

“This is the best part of the song”, Ted mumbles. 

“Huh?” 

Henry forgot to listen, too focused on what just happened. 

“Suddenly I’m holding the world in my arms”, Ted sings quietly, watching Henry, “That’s the cutest shit. I’m pretty sure he’s holding Eurydice while singing that.” 

“That is really cute”, Henry admits. “I didn’t expect you to get so sentimental about it though.” 

Ted chuckles, nudging Henry away. “Shut up.” 

Henry smiles and pulls away from Ted, forcing himself to do so, because good god, he just keeps falling deeper with every hug. 

Teds gaze drops somewhere behind Henry now. 

“Is that Mr Humbugger?”, he asks. 

Henry turns around to see that he did indeed enter the room. 

“Yes”, Henry says.

“Can I pet him?”

“Yeah.”

Ted hands him his phone and his earphones and Henry takes it on pure autopilot, watching as Ted goes to sit down in front of Mr. Humbugger. 

“Hi Bug”, Ted says, “I’m Ted.” 

He reaches for him and lets him sniff his hand and Henry catches himself smiling. 

Ted carefully goes to pet Mr. Humbugger now and he lets him. 

Ted chuckles. “Thank you”, he whispers. 

I love you, Henry thinks, while staring at Ted, I love you I love you I love you. 

“He looks like Mr. Mistoffelees”, Ted notes now. 

Henry smiles even brighter. “Yeah! Right?” 

“Yeah.” 

Mr. Humbugger decides to leave now and Ted lets go off him. 

“Bye”, he mumbles, before he gets up and turns back to Henry. 

“I love him”, he then says. 

Henry smiles. “Me too.” 

— 

Henrys parents talk Ted into staying for dinner and after that it’s so late that Henry would feel bad, making Ted go back to college when he might as well stay the night and instead drive back with Henry and his mom in the morning.

“You can stay, you know?”, Henry therefore says. 

They’re still sitting on the couch. Or Ted is sitting, Henry is laying on his back, his feet resting in Teds lap. 

“Stay?”, Ted asks. 

“Here. For the night.” 

“Do you _want _me to stay?” 

Ted winks at him, a little too suggestive and Henry smiles. 

“You’re such a dick. I’m trying to be nice here.” 

“That is really nice.” 

“Do you want to stay then?” 

“I’d love to.” 

— 

They shared a bed before but Henry wasn’t in love with Ted then. 

Or maybe he was a little bit in love, but he didn’t fully understand his feelings then. 

His heart wasn’t pounding like a pneumatic hammer and his hands weren’t all sweaty. 

The bed in Henrys room is big, or a lot bigger than the one at college. 

So maybe they won’t even cuddle and that’s fine. 

But Henry wouldn’t mind. 

He decides to not cuddle with Ted unless Ted makes the first move. 

He’s still in the bathroom, brushing his teeth for way too long.  
He needs so much time for literally everything now, since his right hand is on sick leave. 

But now he has time to think. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have asked Ted to stay. 

He feels like he’s not being fair towards Ted anymore. He feels like it’s not fair that Henry is kind of in love with him but doesn’t tell him. 

Ted deserves to know, right? 

Because every hug, every word means something different to Henry than it means to Ted. 

It’s only fair Henry tells him.

And he would, if he could. 

But he can’t. 

He tried. 

He tried so often but he can’t get himself to say it and he can’t explain why either. 

It’s almost like when his mom makes him call at the doctors office on his own and Henry has to prepare all of the words in his head first because he’s scared to mess up. 

But with Ted he never knows what to say, not even if he prepares, so he always already messes up before he even got started. 

He changes into his pyjamas in the bathroom after he brushed his teeth. Not because he’s scared of Ted looking or something, he’s just that self-conscious. 

He usually avoids undressing in front of people as good as he can.

Especially when he needs a solid ten minutes for one change of clothes because his right arm is broken. 

— 

When he gets back, he finds Ted sitting on his bed and caressing Mr. Humbugger who laid down next to him.

“Bathroom’s free”, Henry announces. 

“Thank you”, Ted mumbles, still focused on the cat. “Hey do you have some spare-“ 

He stops when he notices Henry holding a toothbrush towards him. 

Henry just got if for him, they always have a few spare ones in the bathroom. 

“It’s new”, Henry says, as if that’s not obvious. 

Ted smiles, taking it. “Thanks. I didn’t even think about the fact that I need a toothbrush. I was gonna ask if you have clothes for me.” 

“Oh, yeah sure.” 

Henry goes over to his closet to pull out a t-shirt and some sweatpants, holding both towards Ted. 

He takes it. “Thank you darling.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

Ted nods towards Mr. Humbugger. 

“Can you take over? He gets mad when I stop.” 

Henry chuckles and nods, taking in Teds place when he gets up. 

— 

Ted is back about five minutes later and he’s wearing Henrys clothes and that’s fine, Henry doesn’t even freak out about it. 

Mr. Humbugger left about a minute before Ted got back and therefore Henry is sitting on his bed alone. 

“Do you want me to turn off the light?”, Ted asks. 

Henry nods. “Okay.” 

Ted turns the light off and slowly moves through the dark to Henry, running into his table on the way and cursing quietly. 

“You’re doing amazing”, Henry says and Ted laughs.

When he finally reaches the bed, Henry holds out his hand for him and pulls him onto it. 

Ted just crashes into him, probably on purpose, pushing him on the bed. 

Henry laughs. 

“Fuck you.” 

Ted chuckles. “Wanna?” 

Henry nudges him away. 

“I literally hate you.” 

“Please don’t.” 

“I don’t.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

It’s quiet after that, until Ted gets under the covers, holding them up for Henry. 

“Come”, he says. 

Henry slips inside next to him and is immediately pulled in a close embrace. 

Henry smiles. 

“You’re such a cuddler”, he whispers. 

“Yeah”, Ted admits quietly, “Don’t you dare tell anyone.” 

“No one would believe me.” 

“Good.” 

It’s quiet for a while and Henry relaxes a little, leaning more into Ted.

“Do you mind?”, Ted then asks. 

“Huh?” 

“Cuddling.” 

Henry chuckles against Teds chest, shaking his head. “No I don’t mind.” 

“‘Kay. Me neither.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It‘s not a coincidence that Ted is talking about That Part of the song while holding Henry and we all know it


	41. Ted Is A Cuddler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted is a cuddler, Henrys dad thinks they’re dating, Chad is actually happy for once and Charlotte wants to come out to Bill.

The first thing Henry notices when he wakes up is that he’s on his back and someone is laying on top of him, right on is chest. 

And for a moment he just freezes. 

For a moment, the panic sets in because this is giving him Mason flashbacks. 

He reaches for that person, cupping the head as he opens his eyes and looks up.  
Everything happens a little too quick and he hits his chin on Teds skull. 

Ted. 

It’s Ted, just Ted. 

Of course. 

Who else would it be? 

He takes a breath, burying his nose in Teds soft hair.  
He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back into the pillow when the familiar smell hits him, calming him down.

Ted is still deep asleep, snoring comfortably. 

His head is tugged below Henrys chin and his fingers are tangled in Henrys hair. 

Henry relaxes and starts to play with the strands of Teds hair. 

It takes a while, but somewhere in the process of him lovingly staring at Ted, Henry realises how weird he’s being. 

He immediately forces himself to stop and he doesn’t really dare to move anymore after that.

Because who touches and smells his best friends hair while said friend is asleep? 

Only a lovesick creep, probably.   


Henry shifts lightly, considering to just push Ted off but he really doesn’t want to wake him up. 

It’s not like he can move anyways, Ted is heavy. 

Not too heavy, not in a way that makes it hard for Henry to breath, but Henry is pretty sure he couldn’t lift him up. Not while laying on his back anyways. 

He catches himself having held his breath since he realised he’s a creep and he slowly lets it go now while he tries to get used to the fact that this is happening. 

Henry shouldn’t freak out like this, Ted is not cuddling him like this on purpose and even if he was, it would be platonic.  
Henry should stop hoping for more, he already feels like such an asshole for constantly hoping.

Ted doesn’t owe him anything.  
He doesn’t feel the same and that’s fine, he doesn’t have to. 

Henry slowly tries to pull Teds hand out of his hair but Teds grip just gets stronger and he ends up tugging on it. 

“Ouch”, Henry whispers, biting his lip to hide a smile now. 

Ted is weirdly adorable like this.   


And there Henry was, having nearly managed to get some fucking self-control.  


Henry decides to leave it like it is, resting his arms around Teds soft frame again. 

The peace lasts for about five minutes because then Henry can hear someone come up the stairs and he starts to panic again. 

Because he knows that his dad has the habit to come look for him in the morning and if he looks now, he’s definitely going to think they’re dating. 

And that’s the last thing Henry needs.

The footsteps come closer and Henry quickly closes his eyes, pretending to sleep because that’s the best idea that comes to his mind in that moment of panic.

Then he hears the door opening and nearly immediately closing again. 

His dad doesn’t walk away instantly, likely because he has to process what he just saw. 

Then his footsteps run back down the stairs and Henry opens his eyes again. 

“Fuck”, he whispers, more to himself than to anyone. 

He regrets it immediately, because Ted stirs now. 

“Hm?”, he makes.

“Sorry”, Henry whispers. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Go back to sleep.” 

“‘Kay.” 

And then he actually starts to quietly snore again. 

Henry lays there for a while, just enjoying Teds nearness. 

His hair is tickling Henrys chin and his fingers, still tangled up in Henrys hair, make Henry loose his mind, somehow. He‘s warm and him laying in Henrys arms feels right. He fits perfectly, like they were meant to hold each other. 

Even if that is most likely utter bullshit. Henry is probably just so in love that he thinks stuff like that to make himself feel better about his hopeless situation. 

Unrequited feelings change people, maybe, they made Henry a hopeless romantic after all. 

But he wants to hold Ted like this forever. 

—

After about twenty minutes, he attempts to entangle himself from Teds grip again because he really really has to pee and he can’t seem to hold it anymore. 

“No”, Ted just whispers and Henry smiles. 

“Why not?” 

“You’re comfortable.” 

“I’m gonna pee my pants if you don’t let me go.” 

“Do it you coward.” 

Henry laughs. “Ted please.” 

“Ugh ‘kay.” 

Ted rolls off him, pulling the blanket along. 

Henry gets up, nearly running to the bathroom. 

  
He goes for the kitchen afterwards, because his throat is dryer than the desert. 

For a moment he forgot that his parents are up and he immediately regrets his decision to get water when he finds them in the kitchen. 

Both of them are holding a cup of coffee and they’re talking. At least they’re talking until Henry enters, then it’s just dead quiet. 

“Morning”, Henry says, awkwardly. 

“Good Morning”, his parents say, almost in unison. 

Henry goes for the cabinet and gets a glass before filling it with water at the sink, while his parents eyes follow him like ducklings follow their mother. 

Henry downs the water, not meeting their eyes. 

Why are his parents like this? His dad clearly already told his mom. They tell each other everything. 

“How was your sleep?”, his dad asks. 

“Great. Yours?” 

“Yes, too.” 

“Cool.” 

Why is this so weird? 

Henry sighs and decides to just say it. Just throw it out there, so they won’t make things awkward for Ted later. 

“Ted and I are not dating.” 

It’s quiet afterwards. 

“Dad, I know you saw us cuddle because I heard you, but I swear it was.. purely platonic.” 

“But-“

“Friends cuddle! Physical affection is not an indicator for romantic love.” 

“Oh.” 

“Just.. please don’t ask Ted about it or something, yeah?” 

His dad nods, looking kind of sad now. “Okay.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Henry you can date whoever you want”, his mom says and his dad nods. 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“Sorry for assuming”, his dad says now. 

“Dad I hate to say this but you really need to learn to knock.” 

“I know, I know.” 

“It was fine when I was ten but I’m almost twenty now.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“I’ll knock from now on.” 

“Thank you.” 

“How did you get out of the hug?”

“Violence.” 

“That’s my son.” 

“I’m going back to bed yeah? It’s like eight am.” 

“Good night”

“Night.” 

“We love you! Sorry again.” 

“Yeah it’s fine. Love you too.” 

Henry goes back upstairs. 

Ted seems to be asleep again when Henry slips back into his room. 

Henry slowly crawls into bed, trying to pull the covers out of Teds grip in order to get at least an edge of it. 

Ted turns to him and opens his eyes halfway.

“Hi“, he whispers. 

Henry smiles. Because shit is Ted adorable. All sleepy with messy hair and and a tired smile on his lips. 

“Hi“, Henry says. 

“Want back in?” 

“Would be nice.” 

“This is my bed now.” 

Henry chuckles. 

“Let me in and I’ll cuddle you.” 

“That’s a deal.”

Ted let’s go of the covers and Henry slips inside, cuddling against Ted. 

“Okay?” 

Ted nods and wraps his arms around Henry. 

“Yeah.” 

—

Chad is already sitting in the theatre when Henry arrives for rehearsal. He and Ted got back to college that morning and his mom made sure to repeatedly tell Henry to be careful and tell Ted to make sure Henry is careful. And both of them agreed repeatedly, assuring her that Henry will, in fact, be careful. 

“Hi”, Henry says, sitting down on the edge of the stage next to Chad. 

“Hey, how are you?”, Chad asks, closing his script and putting it down next to himself. 

“I’m fine. You?”

“Yeah, me too.” 

It’s quiet for a bit, then Chad blurts out: “I told my dad everything.” 

Henry looks up, surprised. 

“You did?”

Chad nods. “In the hospital, while we were waiting for you to wake up. The police came to talk to me and one thing lead to the other and then I just.. told him.” 

“How did it go?”

“Good. I mean a lot better than I expected. He wanted to kill Mason but.. he didn’t seem that surprised about me being gay and he hugged me and told me he loves me so that was.. that was amazing.” 

Henry smiles when he sees the bright smile on Chads lips. He’s just fumbling with his hands, staring at them but looking incredibly happy. 

Henry wraps his arms around Chad and pulls him into half a hug, pressing a kiss on the side of his head. 

“I’m so happy for you.” 

“Me too. Shit I feel so.. I feel so _free_. Does that make sense? There’s nothing I have to be worried about anymore.”

“Yeah that makes sense.” 

Chad’s good mood is so contagious. 

Henry can’t help but feel incredibly happy, suddenly. 

Chad looks different too. 

He looks less tired and there’s no lines of worry to find on his face, just dimples when he smiles that bright. 

He added a little wing to his usual blue eyeliner and Henry even spots dark blue nail polish. 

Chad just flourished since Mason’s gone and it’s the best thing ever, in Henrys opinion. 

— 

They spend most of rehearsal changing up Henrys parts in the choreography, and Henry and Mrs Duncan are both delighted to see that he can do most stuff just the same with only one arm. 

Henry and Chad part ways after rehearsal because Chad still has another class and Henry doesn’t. 

When Henry gets back to the dorms, he finds Charlotte leaning against the wall next to the door to his and Teds room. 

“Hey”, Henry says, “Are you alright?” 

Charlotte nods. “I want to talk to someone and you’re the only one who knows about it. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, come in.” 

He unlocks the door and Charlotte walks into the room, staring out of the window for a bit. She’s fumbling with the hem of her sweater, seeming nervous.

Henry stays silent because he has the feeling that she’s working on saying something and he doesn’t want to interrupt. 

“Ava broke up”, she finally mutters, not looking at him. 

“Oh. ..I’m sorry”, Henry says, “Are you okay?” 

Charlotte nods. “Yeah, I’m fine, actually.”

“Why did she break up?” 

“Because I told her about wanting to come out to people and I asked her if I can introduce her as my girlfriend and that was too fast, I think. I get it though. I’m not mad at her.”

“But are you sad?” 

Charlotte shrugs lightly. 

“I don’t know. I liked her but..”

“It wasn’t love?” 

“No, it wasn’t. I was attracted to her but it wasn’t _more than liking_.” 

“Okay then.” 

“Actually that wasn’t even why I came here.” 

“No?” 

“I’m thinking about coming out to Bill.” 

“You are?” 

“Yeah. He’s like my brother, we tell each other everything. I just don’t know how and I thought maybe you can help?” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“I’ve known Bill since forever. I don’t know, somehow it’s harder to come out to someone who believes to already know everything about you. Does that make sense?“ 

Henry nods. 

“Yeah, I get it.” 

“It would be so much easier to just tell a random stranger than to tell Bill. Or Emma and Paul. Like.. how do I even say it? How did you say it?” 

“I never really.. came out to you guys, I think.” 

“To your parents then?” 

“Well we were watching a movie and-.. and when it was over, we all still sat there. And in my mind I thought like ‘now or never’, so I got up and sat on the coffee table and said I had to tell them something. And after a bit of silence I managed to say it.” 

“So you.. kind of just went for it. You didn’t prepare?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I thought about how to say it for months, I had a whole speech in my head. And then all I said was: ‘I’m gay’.” 

“Maybe that’s what I should do too. Just say it. It shouldn’t be that hard.” 

“It _is_ hard. I get that.” 

“I wish I could practice on someone who I know won’t care that much. Like someone who will surely have a good reaction.” 

“You can practice on me.” 

“You already know.” 

“I can pretend not to.” 

“Okay.” She nods lightly. 

“Okay go on”, Henry says. 

“Hi Henry.” 

“Hi Charlotte how are you?” 

“..I’m Gay.” 

It’s quiet for a few seconds, then Henry can’t help but break into a smile and Charlotte laughs. 

“Sorry I panicked”, she says.

“It’s fine, let’s go again.” 

“Okay, Okay.” She nods. “..Henry, can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” 

“I’m..” 

“Take your time.” 

“Women”, she whispers. 

“You’re doing amazing.” 

“I’m gay”, she says now, “I’m gay. I like girls.” 

“You’re doing it!” 

She smiles. “Well it’s easier in front of you.” 

“Wanna try in front of someone else?” 

“Yeah well who?” 

Henry hesitates. “I don’t know.” 

That’s when he hears someone fumble a key in the lock. 

Charlotte looks at the door, then back at Henry. 

“Ted?”, she asks.

“Yeah, that’s probably him.”  


“No, I meant.. Ted! I could tell _him_.” 

“Oh yes, sure.” Henry is positively surprised at Charlottes sudden eagerness to tell people.   
To be fair, it‘s probably not as sudden as it appears to Henry. She probably thought about it for weeks, for months even. 

“He’s bi right?” 

“Yeah.”

“I think I trust him.” 

“He‘s amazing. He won‘t judge you.”   


In Henry opinion, Ted is probably one of the safest people to come out to. One of the easiest as well.

Ted is the kind of person you can just tell things and for some reason, his reaction is always comforting. 

“I’ll do it”, Charlotte whispers, maybe more to herself than to Henry. 

The door opens shortly after and Ted steps inside, throwing his keys on his table and closing the door behind himself. 

“Hi guys”, he says.

“Hey”, Henry says. 

Charlotte just stares at him. 

Ted looks up, frowning lightly. 

“Charlotte are you alright?” 

She nods. “Can I tell you something?” 

“Yeah sure.” 

“Promise you won’t be weird about it.” 

“Okay?”

“Say it please.”

“I promise I won’t be weird about it.” 

He looks so confused. 

“Okay”, Charlotte whispers, taking a deep breath. 

Teds gaze jumps from her to Henry, a questioning look in his eyes. 

Henry just nods towards Charlotte so Ted looks back at her. 

“Charlotte it’s fine, whatever it is, I’m sure-“ 

“I’m gay”, she blurts out at that moment and Ted stops talking. 

A smile forms on his lips. 

“Okay”, he says, “Okay, that’s fine. ..I mean I get it. Women, right?” 

He gently nudges her shoulder and she smiles, looking relieved. 

She nods. “Women”, she says. 

Tears form in her eyes and Ted notices. 

“Hey, it’s alright”, he says, awkwardly patting her shoulder. “Can I hug you?” 

She nods, so he pulls her in a hug. 

“You’re amazing”, he whispers, “What scares you? Your parents?” 

She nods. 

“Okay I get that. But whatever they do, we’re here for you.” 

“You get it?” 

“Yeah well my dad wasn’t particularly pleased when I told him.”

Henry frowns. He didn’t know that. So that is why Ted hates him so much. 

That and the fact that he found himself a new family.

“What happened?”, Charlotte asks.

“My parents broke up around that time anyway so that was kind of convenient. I haven’t seen him in three years.”

Charlotte pulls away from the hug.

“And you’re okay with that?”

Ted shrugs. 

“I decided that if my dad doesn’t accept me the way I am, he doesn’t deserve me in his life.”

“That makes sense.” 

“I hope your parents aren’t my dad though.” 

Charlotte shrugs lightly. 

“Thank you.” 

She looks at Henry. “You too.” 

Henry just gifts her a smile. 

She takes a breath now, a smile forming on her lips. “That was okay. It wasn’t that hard.” 

“Yeah you did amazing”, Henry says. 

“What, was that a test?”, Ted asks, clearly confused. 

“I want to come out to Bill and I just practiced on you.” 

“Oh. Well I’m happy to help.” 

“You were really nice about it, thank you.” 

“What did you expect? That I’m gonna judge you? Nuh-uh.” 

She chuckles and shrugs. 

“I like you Ted”, she says, “I’m sorry Emma is mean to you sometimes, you don’t deserve it. I like it when you hang out with us.” 

Ted smiles. “I like you too.” 

Charlotte lets herself fall into another hug. 

“Thank you guys”, she mumbles. 


	42. Consolation Prices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Henry may have a little carnival date..,.,,, as a treat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ted is just like.,.,.,,, full on flirting with Henry in this one and Henry still doesn’t get it at all, I’m sorry, it’s frustrating

Henry has been trying to fumble his T-Shirt over the cast for at least ten minutes and for some reason he is still too stubborn to accept that it doesn’t work.

He just got out of the shower and Ted is in one of his classes. 

Henry gives up now, too exhausted to keep going. 

He lets himself fall onto the bed, on his belly, the shirt still stuck on his cast and he thinks about how much he hates his life.

A key rattles in the lock and seconds later, Ted steps in.

He laughs. 

“Are you okay?”

“No”, Henry mumbles into his pillow. 

“Can I help you?” 

“I can’t get my fucking t-shirt over the cast and I.. ugh.” 

“Wear another one then.”

“No, I’m mad now.” 

“Want me to help you?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Henry sits up and feels weirdly naked all of sudden. He covers himself with the T-Shirt stuck on his cast but that probably only makes it more awkward than it had to be. 

Ted comes to him now, reaching for the T-Shirt and trying to pull it over the cast.

He gives up a few seconds later. 

“Darling I hate to say this but no.” 

“I know.” 

“I mean you can just leave it off, that‘s a look.”

Henry smiles. “Shut up.” 

He nudges Ted away as he gets up, pulling the T-shirt off his cast. 

He turns to his closet and quickly picks an oversized shirt, slipping into it.

“This is cute too”, Ted comments. 

“Stop-..complimenting me.” 

“Or what?” 

“Or I’ll have to marry you.” 

“Do it you coward.” 

If only Ted knew how bad Henry wants that. 

“Shut up”, he just mumbles. 

“You shut up. Take my compliment.” 

“Good god, okay. Thanks.” 

Ted chuckles. 

“Do you wanna go to the carnival?” 

“Huh?”

“The carnival.” 

“Where?” 

“Like ten minutes from here. On the other side of the lake.” 

“Since when?” 

Ted laughs. “Three weeks.” 

“For real?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Cool.” 

“Wanna go?” 

“Do you?” 

“I don‘t know. I just met Bill and he said Charlotte, Chad and him are going tonight and he asked if we‘re going to.“ 

“I mean, we can.” 

“You say that like you don’t want to.” 

“No I want to, I love carnivals, I just hate the thought of not being able to do anything because my arm is fucked up.” 

“Maybe I can win you something.” 

Henry smiles. “Yeah?”

“Like a consolation prize. I’m really bad at those games.” 

Henry laughs. 

“Consolation prizes are the best.” 

“Who needs a teddy bear when you can have an ugly bracelet?” 

“Exactly!” 

Ted smiles brightly and Henry melts a little. 

“Let’s go there”, he decides. 

“You really want that bracelet now, huh?”, Ted asks. 

“Desperately.” 

“That’s a lot of pressure, darling.” 

“I will literally unfriend you if you don’t win it for me.” 

Ted laughs. 

Henry smiles, chewing on his lip out of nervousness or maybe to hide that smile. 

“No it’s fine, I will love you even if you fuck it up”, Henry notes. 

“That’s relieving. I’d rather not loose you.”

“Very sappy.” 

“Maybe I just am sappy sometimes.” 

“That’s fine. It’s endearing.” 

“_You’re _endearing.” 

“Ugh just shut up.” 

“Let’s go?” 

“Yeah let me just grab a sweater.” 

“It’s literally almost summer.” 

“It’s getting late and it’s cold when the sun goes down.” 

“Do you still have mine by the way?” 

“What?” 

“My sweater?” 

Henry smiles, turning to his closet. 

“No?”, he lies. 

He may or may not have kept it. 

“Wanna keep it?” 

“No.” 

“You can.” 

“No, you can have it back.” 

Henry doesn’t know how he’s supposed to explain that the sweater is basically worthless now that it doesn’t smell like Ted anymore. 

Henry wore it too often. 

And it’s probably time to wash it too. 

“Do you want another one?”, Ted keeps going, the hint of amusement in his voice. 

“You’re such a tease”, Henry says, grabbing one of his own sweaters. 

“Are you into it?” 

“Absolutely, take your clothes off already.” 

“You didn’t have to put _so much_ sarcasm into it.” 

“Was it sarcasm or did I mean it?”  


Somehow Henry decides to be the tease for once in that moment. And it seems to catch Ted completely off guard. Henry turns around just to see him hesitate and maybe even blush. 

“Did you?”, Ted asks. 

“You wish.”

“I’d be down.” He caught himself. Back to his flirty self and his cheeky grin. 

“Fuck off”, Henry mumbles, slipping into his sweater now. 

He could flirt back, he could keep teasing, but he fears that he might actually loose control if they keep going because he literally can’t handle Ted like this. 

“Ready to go?”, Ted asks. 

Henry grabs his phone and his wallet, slipping both into his pockets. 

“Yeah.” 

“I mean, unless you wanna stay here and-“

“No.” 

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!” 

“Yes I did.” 

“No.” 

“What were you going to say?” 

“Watch a movie?”

“Like Netflix and Chill?” 

Teds smile breaks into an amused laugh. “Yes.” 

“No thank you.” Henry nudges him away, going for the door now. “You’re too horny.” 

“Maybe”, Ted says, following Henry outside. 

Henry closes the door behind them and locks it, before he slips the key into his pocket. 

They start to walk and Ted comes next to Henry. He overdramatically fake yawns and puts his arm around Henrys shoulders in the process. 

Henry laughs. 

“You fucking idiot”, he mumbles, while he puts his arm around Teds waist. 

“You love me.” 

“Lucky you.” 

“Lucky me indeed.” 

Henry smiles. 

“How are we even getting there?” 

“Bill is driving, we’re meeting at the tree.” 

“Okay.” 

They walk in silence for a bit. 

“What’s with Emma and Paul?”, Henry then asks. 

“I think Emma has some kinda project going on and Paul helps her with it. At least that’s what they said. I think they just want the room to themselves.” 

“Why would they-..oh.” 

“You’re cute.” 

“Shut up, it just took me a few seconds.” 

Ted laughs. 

“They might really have a project though”, Henry notes. 

“We’ll never know.” 

“I suppose.” 

They reach the tree now, where Chad’s already waiting. 

He smiles brightly. 

“Hi”, he says. 

“Hey”, Ted says. 

“Hi”, Henry says as well. 

“We’re too early”, Chad notes. 

“That’s fine, we’ll wait”, Henry says. 

Chad’s eyes fall somewhere behind them and his smiles grows brighter. 

“There’s Bill! And Charlotte.” 

Henry turns to see them come towards them. 

Bill wrapped his arms around Charlotte and they both look like they cried but they also look insanely happy. 

“Are you guys okay?”, Ted asks, sounding a little concerned. 

“Yeah. I told him”, Charlotte says. 

“Told him what?”, Chad asks. 

“I’m gay!”, Charlotte announces and Henry is almost taken aback at how easy it falls from her lips. 

But it feels so good to see Charlotte like this. 

“Me too!”, Chad says, excitedly, and they high five. 

“We, uh.. we kind of came out to each other”, Bill says now, looking lightly nervous. 

“Yeah?”, Henry asks, a little surprised but also not that surprised. 

“Yeah, I’m not straight either, actually.” 

“Are you bi?”, Ted blurts out, sounding immensely excited. 

Bill smiles and nods. “Yeah.” 

“Yes!”, Ted says, letting go off Henry to go and hug Bill. 

Bill laughs quietly and puts his arms around Ted when Ted lifts him up a little. 

“I love you, man”, Ted mumbles. 

“I love you”, Bill says. 

“Group hug”, Ted then says, “Everybody in here.” 

Charlotte throws herself around them both and so does Chad. Ted reaches for Henrys hand and pulls him in as well. 

They stand there for a while, until Charlotte laughs quietly. 

“None of us are straight, amazing”, she whispers. 

Henry chuckles. 

“Are we going to the carnival?”, Bill then asks. 

“Yeah”, Ted says and everybody dissolves the hug. 

“My car is over there”, Bill says, pointing in some direction. 

“I‘m riding shotgun!”, Charlotte exclaims, before she just tugs her arm into Teds, pulling him into the direction Bill pointed in. 

Henry, Chad and Bill follow them. 

Henry puts his arm around Bill, pushing a kiss on his cheek. 

“I love you. Thank you for telling us.” 

Bill smiles. “I’ve been wanting to tell you guys for a while, it just.. kind of never came up. Does that make sense?” 

“Yeah.” 

Henry notices Chad awkwardly walking next to them alone and pulls him closer now, slumping his free arm around Chad, who smiles at that. 

— 

The carnival is all bright colourful lights and cheery music.

It’s full of people, almost too many in Henrys socially anxious opinion. 

Charlotte, Bill and Chad kind of hurry towards the Ferris Wheel, when they see that there’s barely a line, leaving Henry and Ted behind. 

“Do you wanna go there too?”, Henry asks. 

“Uh..” Ted hesitates, staring at it. 

“What? Are you afraid of heights?”, Henry asks, mostly joking but when Ted actually nods, he’s surprised. 

“For real?” 

“It’s kinda stupid.” 

“No, I just didn’t expect it.” 

“I don’t even know why. Like there’s no deep rooted trauma of me falling off something in my childhood, I just.. can’t breath when I’m too high up on something.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Okay, let’s do something else.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine, I can live without going on there.” 

“Could have been so romantic.” 

“Sure, love.” 

Ted laughs quietly, wrapping his arm around Henry. 

“Come on, we can share cotton candy like a married couple.” 

“Yeah let’s do that.” 

— 

They do share cotton candy. 

And Henry hates to be that kind of guy but his mind slips into rather obscene scenarios when he sees Ted lick the sugar off his fingers afterwards. 

The worst thing is that Ted catches him staring and all he does is wink at Henry, a smile forming on his lips. 

But at least he doesn’t say anything, so that is probably for the best. 

Then they realise that they completely lost track of where the others are and after a while, they decide that that’s fine because the others are still in a group of three and not alone. 

And eventually they end up at a can knockdown booth where Ted attempts to win something. 

“The trick is that you have to focus”, Ted says, weighting the three balls in his hands. 

“Mh-hm”, Henry makes, watching him and leaning sideways against the booth. 

“You have to go for the ones at the bottom, so you can knock down more than one.” 

“Wow, not only is he handsome but also smart.” 

“Strength is important too.” 

“Just do it.” 

“Okay.” 

Ted slams the first ball into the cans and totally misses. 

“That was just the first one”, he says. 

“Yeah.” 

Henry can’t help but smile, laughing quietly when Ted misses the second one as well. 

“When you said you’re bad at this, I didn’t expect you to be this bad”, he admits amusedly. 

“At least that proved that I’m very honest when it comes to my talents”, Ted notes. 

“That’s true”, Henry says, laughing, when Ted misses the third one as well. 

“So if I told you I’m good in bed-“ 

Ted doesn’t get to finish because Henry just nudges him away. 

“I don’t care how you’re in bed.” 

“Are you sure?” 

He winks at Henry, multiple times, and Henry would love to just.. slap him on the mouth with his lips. 

“You can pick one of those”, the woman in the booth says, nodding towards the consolation prizes. 

“I was hoping for that”, Ted says, gifting her a smile before he rummages through the bowl. 

“Purple or green?”, he asks. 

“Purple”, Henry says, not sure what Ted’s talking about until Ted pulls out a purple plastic bracelet and holds it up triumphantly, a bright smile on his lips. 

Henry laughs. 

“I totally did bad on purpose because I knew how bad you wanted this ugly bracelet”, Ted claims. 

“Wow, you’re such a gentleman.” 

“I hear that a lot.” 

“Really?” 

Ted chuckles. “No.” 

He reaches for Henrys left hand now and slips the bracelet onto his wrist before he pulls his hand up to his lips to kiss Henrys knuckles. 

“There you go”, he says. 

“Thanks, I’m so flattered”, Henry mumbles, trying to hide how true that is. 

Is he going to die from this? It’s very likely. 

“We’re engaged now. Deal with it”, Ted says. 

Henry laughs quietly, before he looses a little bit of his self-control and leans towards Ted to press a kiss on his cheek. 

“Okay babe.” 

“There you guys are!”, Charlotte says, appearing behind them. 

“Where are Bill and Chad?”, Henry asks. 

“I don’t know! I just ran into my cousin and went to greet her and then I lost them.” 

“Charlotte!”, Bill shouts from somewhere at the same time, running towards her with Chad close behind. 

Henry can’t help but notice that they’re holding hands. 

“Shit, we thought we had lost you! You were suddenly gone”, he says. 

“I’m sorry”, Charlotte mumbles. 

“It’s fine”, Bill says, “at least we found you. And Henry and Ted!” 

“Yes!”, Henry says. 

“Anyone want to do the bumper cars?”, Charlotte asks, with everyone agreeing pretty quick. 

So they do the bumper cars.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Bill and Chad were holding hands so they don’t loose each other in the crowd, don’t get too hopeful lmao)


	43. So You Think You’ve Got The Hang Of Wonderland?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice By Heart comes up and they all eat pizza again and Ted and Henry run into someone from Teds past

Alice By Heart comes up rather quick. 

And suddenly Henry finds himself behind the stage next to Chad, feeling nauseous but in a good way. 

His family is there, even Frankie came, because she ‘needed a fucking break’ from university. Plus it’s almost summer and she only has two more days of class and rebellious as she is, she decided to just not go. 

So now she‘s sitting in the audience, between their parents and Henrys friends, Charlotte specifically.

Even Paul is there, for some reason. 

Henry sneaked a look earlier, mostly because he wanted to see Ted but he‘s not going to actually admit that, fuck off. 

Ted is there and he‘s looking great and for some reason his presence makes Henry even more nervous than he‘d normally be. 

Henry just hopes that he doesn’t mess up his lines when he sees Ted in the audience and forgets how talking works. Or singing or dancing. 

He‘d rather die than embarrass himself. 

Chad doesn‘t seem any calmer than Henry. He keeps pacing up and down, fumbling with his gloves that he doesn’t even need for the first scene and he keeps whispering bits and pieces of his lines. 

Henry reaches for his hand now, to calm him down. 

“Hey”, he whispers, “You’re gonna nail this.” 

Chad smiles nervously. 

“It’s just.. there’s so many people. And my dad is there and oh god I play _Alfred_. He’s so important. What if I fuck it up?” 

“Take a breath. In... out.”

Henry does it with him, just holding on to his hands for a moment, taking one deep breath after the other. 

He can hear the music for West Of Words set in now and Chad closes his eyes. 

“Okay”, he whispers, “this is fine. This is fine.” 

“We can do it, yeah?”

Chad smiles, nodding now. 

“We can do it.”

— 

It’s over sooner than Henry would have hoped, as he was willing to linger in the story for much longer, just like Alice. 

But coming out of the theatre and having Frankie jump at him like a wrecking ball reminds him that reality is nice too. 

“Fuck! You were so good!”, she shouts. 

Henry laughs, trying to hold her up without loosing balance. 

“I tried.” 

“Don’t be so humble you fucking idiot.” 

“Thank you then.” 

“Mom and dad want to see you too, let me down.” 

Henry sets her back on the ground and lets go off her. 

His parents soon come in, both of them talking at once so that Henry barely understands a single word. He settles on smiling and nodding, because the words he does understand sound like rather positive feedback. 

They hug him for a while and he lets them because he likes it. 

He sees Chad come out now and he’s just running into the arms of a man and considered by his looks and logical thinking, that’s his father. 

They both laugh and his father starts to talk to him and Henry can’t help but smile. 

“Henry!” 

He lets go of his parents now and turns around to get tackled by Bill and Charlotte. 

What follows are Emma and Paul, both of them hugging him and Emma telling him he was really good, like _really_ damn good.

Henry chuckles and looks at Paul now. 

“Are you alright?” 

Paul nods. 

“It wasn’t that bad. You and Chad were incredible. And uh.. the design of the stage was nice.” 

Henry smiles at Paul’s attempt to be nice even if he probably lived through his own personal hell for the past two hours. 

“Thank you”, he says. 

“We’re going to Chad”, Bill announces, then him and Charlotte disappear. 

“Yeah us too for a bit”, Emma says, “Hey, we’re still going for pizza yeah?” 

Henry nods and she smiles before pulling Paul along to see Chad. 

Henry looks up to see Ted talking to Frankie. When Ted notices that Paul and Emma left, he leaves Frankie and comes to Henry, a big smile on his lips. 

“There you are”, Henry says, regretting it immediately because it sounds like he was desperately waiting to see Ted. And he kind of was but no one needs to know that. 

“Saved you the best for last”, Ted explains, throwing a wink in. 

“Very confident, I like that.” 

Ted laughs, before he pulls Henry into a hug. 

“Fuck Henry, you were so good. Who allowed you to be so talented?” 

“I don’t know”, he fumbles out, way too flustered, “Thank you.” 

“I didn’t know you can sing like that, I kind of want a cast recording with your voice now.” 

There goes Henrys last braincell. 

“Jesus Ted”, he mumbles. 

“And your dancing? So smooth, fuck. I especially loved that mock turtle song and your solo where you just lost your shit, I will never get over that.” 

Henry buries his face in Teds shoulder, so no one can see the dark shade of red it reached. 

“Shut up”, he just whispers, “I mean it, I can’t handle compliments.” 

Ted laughs and pulls him closer. 

“Thank you”, Henry mumbles into Teds t-shirt after a while. 

“I’m weirdly attracted to you right now”, Ted just says. 

“Good god”, Henry mutters. 

“Is Chad tagging along for pizza?”, Ted changes the topic. 

“No, he’s going for dinner with his dad. But he might join afterwards.” 

“What about your parents?” 

“They’re going home. They have me for most of summer break anyway.” 

”Shit, yeah, you’re home for the summer.” 

“So are you.” 

“Yeah, let’s see how long I can bear it before I come back.” 

He says it in a joking tone but Henry can see that he means it. 

“I mean you can always come stay at my place for a while”, he suggests. 

“Already miss me?” 

“Shut up, you were just the one complaining.” 

Ted laughs. 

“Well I sure am gonna miss you”, he admits. 

“We will meet up.” 

“Please, yes.” 

— 

Charlotte told Henry beforehand that she’s going to come out to the rest of the group at the restaurant. She said Bill might do it too, but she’s not sure. 

And now the evening is almost over and neither of them has said a word yet. 

Maybe they changed their mind and that’s fine. 

Henry is in the middle of trying to talk Ted into eating his last pizza slice because he’s full but he doesn’t want to just leave it there when Charlotte clears her throat. 

“Hey”, she says, “I wanna say something.” 

The other conversations quiet down and Henry slowly lets his pizza slice sink back on his plate. 

“What?”, Emma asks carefully, after a few seconds of silence. 

That’s when Henry notices that literally everybody knows except for Emma, Paul and Frankie. 

“I think you already suspected it. I just.. it’s nothing big, just a lot if you consider my parents but it’s not big for you guys. I think you’ll be fine with it.” 

Bill reaches for Charlottes hand, most likely to show his support. 

“Are you guys dating?”, Emma asks, surprise in her voice. 

“No! I’m gay”, Charlotte fumbles out. 

“Oh. .._Oh_!” Emma smiles now. 

“Yeah, that’s all. I’m gay.” 

“I love you so much, thank you for telling us”, Emma blurts out. 

Henry can’t help but notice Frankie get visibly excited. He smiles, lightly shaking his head at her. 

“You knew, didn’t you?”, Charlotte asks Emma, a smile forming on her lips. 

“I mean.. I suspected it after you asked if it’s still straight to think about kissing girls.” 

Charlotte laughs. 

Paul reaches over the table for her hand. 

“We love you, Char.” 

She smiles. “I love you guys.” 

Frankie just hugs her from her spot right next to her. 

“You’re incredible”, she mumbles against Charlottes shoulder. 

Charlotte hugs her back and before they can get married, Bill speaks up. 

“I’m bi.”

Ted high fives him over the table. 

“Oh! Yeah?”, Paul asks and Bill nods. 

“There’s more, I.. There’s something else I want to say”, he hesitantly announces.

So that is new. 

He looks at Charlotte and she nods lightly. 

“I love you”, she mouths. 

Henry can see Bill cling to her hand and gifts him a smile that’s supposed to look encouraging but he’s not sure if he manages that. 

“I’m, uh.. it’s not a big deal yeah? Maybe it won’t even matter to you guys. It matters to me. It’s a part of me, so I want you to know. I kind of spend a while trying to figure it out for myself and..” He hesitates. 

“Bill, whatever it is, we love you, yeah?”, Ted says into the silence. 

Charlotte just hugs Bill, pressing a kiss on his cheek. 

“I’m asexual”, Bill says.  
His eyes jump over each of them for a moment, his expression  lacking the usual confidence. 

Ted is the first one to say something. “Like that’s more than fine.”

Bill smiles hesitantly. 

Henry nods, smiling now. “I love you”, he says. 

“We all love you, man”, Paul chimes in. 

Emma smiles and nods. “Shit Bill, we love you so much. Why would you think we wouldn’t?” 

Bill shrugs. “I don’t know. I feel like there’s such a pressure in society to have sex and want sex and I just.. don’t.” 

“Well fuck society”, Ted says and Bill laughs quietly. 

“Yeah”, he mumbles. 

Ted reaches for Henrys pizza slice, looking up for a moment to see if he still wants to get rid of it. Henry nods, so now it’s Teds. 

“So like you’re biromantic asexual?”, Emma asks. 

Bill nods. 

“Yes.” 

“Cool”, Paul says and Bill laughs, looking weirdly relieved. 

—

Frankie decides to just stay the night after Charlotte and Emma offered her to stay in their room. 

They’re walking back to the college now. Henry and Ted fell back a little, walking a few feet behind the others. 

Chad joined them about half an hour before they left. He texted them before and Bill ordered him a blueberry milkshake for when he arrives and Henry is usually not the kind of person who actively wishes for two people to date because he respects their privacy but somehow he can’t help but feel like those two are meant for each other. 

Ted is talking about Alice By Heart again. He said it’s his favourite musical now and Henry can’t help but fall a little deeper in love with him. 

“I almost cried when Chad died, I mean it”, Ted says, “I had to concentrate so hard to keep the tears in.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Yeah, me too. I love that song though.” 

“I loved all the songs.” 

Ted wraps his arm around Henrys shoulders, pulling him closer. 

“I still can’t believe that I spend almost a year not knowing your singing voice is like that.” 

“Like that?” 

“Like fucking gorgeous.” 

Henry laughs. “Shut up.” 

“No, you better get used to compliments for when you’re famous in a few years.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“I’m not, I mean it. Chad too. And that girl playing the queen, damn.” 

“Yeah, they’re great.” 

“Like you.” Ted presses a kiss on his temple and Henry is speechless for a few seconds, he just opens and closes his mouth like a fish. 

He lets his gaze wander over the street next to them, spotting a familiar girl at the bus stop on the other side. 

“Am I stupid or is that Brianna?”, he asks. 

Ted looks up. 

“Brianna”, he mumbles. 

He just stops walking and stares at her for a moment. 

She doesn’t notice them, she’s too busy rifling through her backpack.  


Henry watches Ted. 

Does he still love her?  
There’s something in his eyes that Henry can’t decipher. 

Part of him hopes that Ted is over her. Part of him hopes that Ted is in love with someone new, that someone being Henry. 

But that hopeful part of Henry also knows how ridiculous that wish is. 

The way Ted is looking at her says more than enough and Henry wishes it didn’t hurt that much. 

“She’s all alone, we should.. we probably should make sure she’s okay”, Ted says. 

“You should, yeah.” 

“Come with me?” 

“Why?” 

“We’re dating.” 

“What?” 

“Tiramisu.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t break up with you, did I?” 

“I mean.. I don’t know.” 

Henry is so confused. 

“Please come with me.” 

“Okay.” 

Ted reaches for his hand like it’s nothing and they quickly cross the street. 

Brianna is still fumbling around in her backpack, not noticing them at all. 

“Hey”, Ted says. 

She flinches and looks up. 

She smiles when she recognises them. 

“Fuck, I thought you were some kind of creep”, she mumbles, before she lets go of her backpack and comes towards them. 

“Hey! It’s good to see you!” 

She just kind of hugs them both, looking happy and relieved. 

“How are you?”, Ted asks, “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m staying at my parents place over the summer! It’s just that their car is broken so I said it’s fine, I’ll take the bus. But the bus is not coming and now I’ve been standing here for an hour and it has gotten dark so I’m a little nervous.” 

“We can wait with you”, Ted decides, looking at Henry for confirmation. Henry nods, because she shouldn’t have to wait there alone. 

Brianna looks at them for a moment, hesitating. 

“Are you sure? I’m sure you have better stuff to do.” 

“Shit Bri, it’s fine”, Ted says. 

“Okay. Okay, thank you because I’m terrified. There was a fucking creep earlier, he didn’t talk to me, he just kept staring. I thought he was gonna murder me or something.” 

“Well, we don’t want you to get murdered”, Ted says. 

“Yeah, me neither, that would suck.” 

Henry smiles lightly, because he sort of gets why Ted still likes her. And Ted surely does still like her, right? He has to. How could he not? 

“When is the bus supposed to come?”, Henry asks now. 

“Like half an hour ago”, she answers. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, fuck.” She chuckles, looking a little distressed. 

It’s quiet for a bit and Ted is still holding Henrys hand and Henry thinks about that more that probably necessary.

“How are you guys?”, Brianna asks after a while.

“Good! Great”, Ted answers. 

Henry nods. 

“What happened to your arm?”, Brianna asks, glancing down. 

“I broke it. It’s.. it’s a long story”, Henry says, deciding that he doesn’t want to explain that Mason tried to kill him. 

“I’m sorry. Are you alright?” 

Henry nods. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” 

She smiles. “Good. I’m sure Ted’s taking care of you.” 

“Of course I am”, Ted says.

“You better”, Brianna says, making Henry laugh. 

“I once broke a rib and Ted freaked out more than I did”, Brianna says, making Ted lightly shake his head. 

“I didn’t freak out.” 

“Yes you did.” 

“What happened?”, Henry asks. 

“I slipped and fell down some stairs.” 

“Oh shit are you okay?” 

“Yeah, like it was fine.” 

“It wasn’t, it was completely understandable that I freaked out”, Ted justifies himself. 

“It was cute”, Brianna says, “He’s cute, right?” 

That question is directed at Henry, who quickly nods when he remembers that he’s supposed to be dating Ted. It’s not like he doesn’t agree anyway. 

“Jesus Christ”, Ted mumbles, “Let’s change the topic.” 

He looks flustered and it’s adorable, even if it’s probably because of Brianna. Henry can’t imagine Ted being flustered because of him. 

“How’s life?”, Ted asks, “Are you and.. uh, Finneas? Are you still dating?” 

“Finley. And no.. no. We broke up.” 

“Oh.” 

“But you guys are still a thing it seems?” 

“Yes!”, Ted says, sounding proud, somehow, or maybe Henry is just imagining that. He pulls Henry closer, hugging him from behind and pressing a kiss on his cheek. Henry doesn’t mind, obviously. It’s just that he doesn’t understand Ted‘s motive at all. Is he trying to make her jealous? Why would he say tiramisu here? 

Henry leans into Teds hug anyways, deciding that it was an acting choice when really, he’s just in love. 

“I’m happy for you, you guys seem to fit so well”, she says, sounding so sincere. 

Ted was right, she is an angel. She’s one of the nicest people Henry has ever met, he can’t even keep himself from liking her a little. 

Her gaze drops behind them now and she lights up. 

“Fucking finally”, she says. 

Henry turns around to see a bus coming in. 

“You’ll be fine from here?”, Ted asks. 

She nods. 

“Thank you for waiting. We should meet up sometime!” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Okay, thanks again.” 

“No problem.” 

She shoulders her backpack, gifting them one last smile before she steps into the bus, waving at them as it drives off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah I brought Bri back bc I kinda love her so wHAT


	44. Late Night Tiramisu And Birthday Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Henry are touch starved again and Henrys birthday comes up

Henry doesn't stop thinking about the encounter with Brianna for the rest of the evening. 

"Why did you tiramisu me?", he asks, when they both lay in bed and the lights are out. 

"I don't know. For fun?" 

"I meant like.. why did you decide to tell _her_ we're still dating when she asked?"

"Why not?"

"If you hadn't, there'd be a chance for you guys to get back together. Don't you want that?" 

It's quiet for a moment. 

"No.. no", Ted then whispers. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, I'm over Bri." 

"You're not." 

"Yeah I am, it's been almost a year now, I'm not that pathetic." 

"I saw the way you looked at her." 

"I don't love her anymore. Not romantically." 

"Okay, if you say so." 

"It's just that she's been a really important person in my life for three years, I will always love her in some way." 

"Yeah, I get that." 

"That doesn't mean that I want to get back together." 

"Hypothetically, if she asked you to get back together.. would you say no?" 

"Shit, I don't know." 

"So you'd say yes?”

"No. ..I'm dating you." 

"You could break up with me." 

"You'd be okay with that?" 

"I mean, you're not gonna break my heart with it, we're not actually dating." 

That was a lie. 

It's true that they're not dating but Ted would totally break Henrys heart.

Henry would probably cry for days if Ted broke up with him to get back together with Brianna. 

"Yeah. ..yeah", Ted whispers. 

"But like tell me if we break up, so I know how to act if I run into her." 

Ted chuckles. 

"Okay." 

It's quiet after that and Henry genuinely thinks about getting up and sitting on the edge of Teds bed and telling him that he doesn't want to fake-break up, he'd rather start to actually date.

Or he doesn't _genuinely_ think about it, he knows he doesn't have the courage. 

But he surely plays with the thought, imagining what could happen if he did have courage. 

"Tiramisu?", Ted whispers. 

"What?", Henry asks, more than confused. 

"I'm tiramisu-ing you." 

"What for?" 

"I'm lonely over here." 

"You're tiramisu-ing me so I'll come cuddle you?"

"Yeah, I found a loophole." 

Henry smiles. "I don't know if you can call that a loophole, you're just touch starved." 

"So are you, this is a win-win." 

Henry hesitates, chewing on his lip as he tries to keep himself from making another mistake. 

"You come over", he gives in, "I'm not gonna get up." 

"Are you sure?" He can hear the smile on Teds face while he's saying that and he lightly shakes his head. 

"Come over." 

Ted slips out of his bed and Henry quickly makes space for him. 

Then Ted is suddenly in his arms again and the feeling that provides is undeniably nice. 

"I can't believe we keep doing that", Henry admits. 

"Like what else are friends for?", Ted jokes quietly. 

"My dad saw us cuddle like this when you stayed over and he thought we were dating." 

Ted laughs. "Oh shit, for real?" 

"Yeah, stop laughing that was so embarrassing." 

Ted's still smiling, laughing, his breath hitting Henrys neck unevenly and Henry slowly lets his fingers sink into his hair, simply because he can. 

"Did you tell him we're not dating?" 

"No. Tiramisu." 

Ted looks up, surprised. 

"For real?" 

Henry smiles. "No. Why would I tell my dad we're dating?" 

"I don't know." 

"I mean, I'm sure he'd think it's great, he loves you." 

"He does?" 

"Yeah." 

"I love him too." 

"Ted he's married", Henry jokes. 

Ted laughs. 

"God, imagine though", he whispers. 

"No thank you, I would rather pass away." 

"You'd be my step son." 

"Fuck off." 

"That's not a very nice thing to say to your step father." 

"Ted, I swear to god." 

"You know I’d rather marry you actually." 

It’s quiet after that. 

Mostly because Henry doesn’t know what to say. 

“Let’s get married then”, he fumbles out after a while. 

“Great idea.” 

Henry could kiss Ted, if he pulled him up a little and leaned down.

Ted just buries his face in Henrys neck, placing a soft kiss there and making Henrys mind swirl. 

Henry hesitantly pulls Ted closer, nuzzling his nose in Teds hair and closing his eyes now. 

“Night”, he whispers.   


“See you”, Ted mumbles.   


Then it’s just quiet. 

Ted falls asleep soon after they said good night, but Henry lays awake for way too long. 

— 

Henrys birthday comes up in early june and he spends the day at his parents place. 

When he comes down the stairs, his parents and Frankie are waiting for him in the living room. They all gathered like they would for a picture and as soon as Henry enters, they start to sing "Happy Birthday". 

Henry awkwardly waits for them to be done, eyeing Mr. Humbugger in Frankies arms. She's making him dance along and he looks incredibly pissed but he lets her do it. He always looks a little pissed, reminding Henry of grumpy cat on a daily basis. 

Just as Henry thinks they might be done, they start doing harmonies. 

Henry laughs. 

"Did you guys practice that?"

"Obviously not, that was so flat", his dad answers, before he comes to him to give him a hug, tearing up a little as he whispers: "Happy birthday! You're out of your teens now." 

"Still feel the same", Henry says. 

His dad gives him a kiss on the cheek before he steps back and lets his mom hug him. 

After that Frankie comes in, holding Mr. Humbugger like a baby. 

"He says Happy Birthday too." 

Henry reaches for his head and presses a kiss between his ears. 

"Thank you", he says. 

Frankie sets him back on the floor before she hugs Henry. 

"Happy Birthday." 

"Thanks." 

"I love you." 

"Love you too." 

— 

It's around 2 pm and Henry and Frankie are still on the couch, playing Animal Crossing. Frankie got dressed already but Henry is still in his pyjamas because he doesn't really see a point in getting dressed. 

Frankie keeps being on her phone, seemingly texting with someone, smiling every time her phone makes a noise and checking it immediately. 

"Who is it?", Henry asks after a while, his curiosity winning over his will to give her privacy. 

"No one." 

"Franks-" 

"Charlotte." 

Henry smiles, raising an eyebrow. 

"Okay." 

"Shut up." 

"I didn't even say anything!"

"You thought it." 

"I saw your face when she came out to you guys." 

"I got a little excited." 

"A little." 

"I'm in love with her, let me live." 

"In love with whom?", their dad asks, passing by. 

"Charlotte." 

"Henrys friend?" 

"Yes." 

"She's nice." 

"She is!" 

"When did you come out to dad?", Henry asks, a little surprised because he never knew she did. 

"I didn't." 

"What?" 

"Henry your coming out taught us that we lived in the assumption that straight is the default and that was very ignorant", his dad says. 

"Wow, okay. ..That's good." 

"And Frankie let it slip more than once that she's attracted to girls so I'm not surprised." 

Frankie just throws a peace sign in the air, typing on her phone again. 

"Henry you should get dressed", his dad then says. 

"What? Why?" 

"Just do it." 

"I'm not going anywhere." 

"Just do it." 

"Is anyone coming here?" 

His dad just leaves the room, leaving him baffled. 

"He's right", Frankie says, "Get dressed." 

"Why?" 

"It's a surprise." 

"What?" 

"You know nothing. Now go and shower, I smell you from here." 

"You're so fucking rude." 

"You will thank me for this later." 

"How dressed up do I have to get?" 

"Just.. casual, yeah?" 

"Normal clothes?" 

"Normal clothes." 

— 

Henry does take a shower and he gets dressed, still a little confused. 

When he comes downstairs, his hair blow-dried and wearing clothes he took half an hour picking because he still doesn't know what he's dressing for.  
He is now wearing a turtleneck and a pair of jeans because it's weirdly cold outside for the fact that it's June and after the little information he did manage to achieve, he's pretty sure he's going to have to leave the house. 

Frankie is standing in front of the oven in the kitchen, using it like a mirror as she applies lipstick. 

“Okay something is going on”, Henry notes. 

“Maybe I’m just feeling myself today.” 

“Are you meeting with Charlotte?” 

“No?” 

She blushes. 

She’s usually not a blusher. 

“Is this okay?”, Henry asks, gesturing at himself. 

“Very sexy”, she says. 

“What? No?” 

“Who are you trying to impress?” 

“No one! I don’t even know where we’re going.” 

“What if I told you your crush will be there?” 

“Who’s my crush?” 

“Ted.” 

“No? No! What? No.” 

“Mmh-mh.” 

“Will.. Ted be there?” 

“No.” 

“You’re lying.” 

“No.” 

“I hate you.” 

“Well fuck you.” 

“It’s my birthday, you aren’t allowed to be mean to me.” 

“What are you? Five?” 

“You’re the meanest person I have ever met.” 

“I’m so nice.” 

“No.” 

“I’m the nicest.” 

“No you’re not.” 

“I’m so much nicer than you.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Ted will be there.” 

Henry hesitates. 

“Are you kidding?” 

“No.” 

Henry reaches in his hair, adjusting it in an attempt to make it look less messy. He should have spend more time on his look earlier. If he goes back upstairs and gets changed now, Frankie will know. 

Also Ted has seen him in every state of living by now, they wake up in the same room, he knows how Henry looks in the morning, greasy and puffy-eyed. It can’t get worse than that. 

“Oh my fucking god”, Frankie mumbles. 

“What?”, Henry asks. 

“You do have a crush.” 

“I don’t.” 

“Yeah you do?!”

“No!”

“What the fuck Henry?” 

“Shut up, I don’t, I_ swear _I don’t.” 

She smiles, fascinated now. 

“I didn’t think I’m actually right, I was just teasing you”, she says. 

“Well you’re not right.” 

“Mmh-mh.”

“I hate you so much, it’s unreal.” 

“If you say you don’t have a crush, then I’ll believe you.” 

“Okay, good. Because I don’t.” 

Technically, it’s not a crush, right? Henry is well past that stage of infatuation. It’s so much more now. He’s very much in love now. 

“You look good, he’ll like it”, Frankie says. 

Henry opens his mouth to object but he’s speechless and she just leaves the kitchen. 

—

Half an hour later the doorbell rings and Henrys mom tells him to go open it. 

He does and suddenly Ted is standing in front of him. 

“Hey, happy birthday!” 

He just pulls Henry into a hug and Henry lets him do it because he’s a little overwhelmed at the prospect of Ted just being there. He just falls into Teds arms like a rag doll. 

“Thank you?”, he fumbles out. 

“Come on, we’re leaving.” 

“Where to?” 

“It’s a surprise, darling.” 

“Are you gonna murder me?” 

“Absolutely.” 

“What a way to die.” 

Ted laughs. 

“Come on, put on shoes.” 

“Do I need anything?” 

“No.” 

“A jacket?” 

“Probably, Mr. I’m-Always-Cold.” 

“Shut up.” 

Frankie enters the corridor now, wearing shoes and carrying a bag. 

“You’re coming too?”, Henry asks. 

“Yeah, duh.” 

“So that means I won’t get murdered?”

“Of course you’ll get murdered. We’re sacrificing you to the gods”, Frankie says. 

“Why me?” 

“We need a virgin.” 

“Literally fuck off.” 

Ted smiles. “I’ll make sure you’ll survive”, he says. 

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” 

Henry goes for his shoes now, slipping into them and quickly tying them. He picks up his jacket, shoving his wallet and his phone inside, even if Ted said he doesn’t need anything. 

“Okay, I’m ready”, he says. 

“Ready to die”, Frankie sings quietly. 

“Have fun you guys”, Henry’s dad says, appearing in the corridor. 

“Hi Earl!”, Ted says. 

He smiles. “Hi Ted! How are you?” 

“Great, how are you?” 

“I’m good, thank you.” 

“Okay we’re leaving”, Henry says, getting impatient as to what the surprise is. 

Ted steps aside for Henry and Frankie to go outside and they do after waving goodbye to their parents. 

Henry spots Bills car, standing at the side of the street. 

The passenger door opens and Chad jumps out, running at Henry. 

“Happy Birthday!” 

He jumps into Henrys arms, making Henry laugh. 

“Thanks.” 

Bill comes out of the car now as well, locking it before he runs towards Henry. 

“Happy Birthday!” 

He hugs him, pulling him close to his chest. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us it’s your birthday”, he says. 

“I don’t like the attention. How do you know?” 

“Ted told us. This was his idea.” 

“Are _you _gonna tell me where we’re going?” 

“No it’s a surprise.” 

“Ugh.” 

Ted and Frankie arrive next to them now and Ted wraps his arms around Henry, leading him towards the car. 

Bill unlocks it.

“Everybody get in.” 

Ted, Henry and Frankie climb in the back of the car as Chad and Bill take their seats in the front. 

Bill starts the car and begins to drive. 

Henry stares past Ted out of the window, trying to figure out where they’re going. 

Every time he looks out of the window on Frankies side, she winks at him and nods towards Ted and after the third time, he really can’t take that anymore. 

He already regrets sitting in the middle. 

But it’s nice, sitting close enough to Ted that their shoulders are pressed together. This is just how desperate Henry is for his nearness. It’s almost a little pathetic. 

— 

They drive for about twenty minutes until Bill slows down and pulls into the parking lot of a bowling alley. 

“Bowling?”, Henry asks, getting excited because it’s been years since he last did that and he always used to love it. 

“Yes”, Ted says. 

Henry looks back out of the window, smiling. He spots Emma, Paul and Charlotte outside and laughs quietly when they start to shout-sing Happy Birthday. 

“That okay?”, Ted asks. 

“I love you”, Henry mumbles, making Ted chuckles. 

Henry just hugs him. “For real, thank you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls don’t expect me to write them bowl next chapter, I don’t know how to make that interesting. They had a good time alright


	45. Another Party, Another Bad Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted asks Henry to go to a party with him and Henry says yes just because

Henry is not sure why he agrees to go to that party.

He hates parties and he didn’t have any good experiences with them in the past, that’s for sure.

It’s Ted who asks him.

Henry spent the past two weeks at home, playing Animal Crossing with Frankie and it was fun in the beginning but he’s slowly losing his mind now and he really misses Ted.

Ted says Paul, Emma and Charlotte are coming too and Henry can bring Frankie if he wants to.

And Ted says that Brianna asked him to come, since the host is a friend of hers and she barely knows anybody there and she told him to bring as many people as he wants.

And Henry would never admit it but he’s a little bit jealous, even if he’s fighting against it, tooth and nail.

He’s never been the jealous kind of guy and he really doesn’t want to become one.

He decides that the only reason he does want to go to that party is to see his friends again because he misses them.

“I’ll ask Frankie”, he therefore says when Ted asks.

He doesn’t want to sound too desperate and say yes. He’ll go if Frankie goes. _Because _Frankie goes. Not because he’s in love with his best friend and secretly hopes they’ll tiramisu a little.

“For real?”, Ted asks.

“Yeah, I’ll go if she does.”

“Hell yes!”

“What? Do you want me to be there?”, Henry quietly jokes.

“Desperately, darling.”

“Kinda gay.”

“Always.”

“I’ll ask her then.”

“Do that.”

“I’ll text you.”

“Charlotte is gonna drive, she’s picking me up and I’m sure we can come get you guys too.”

“What about Paul and Emma?”

“They’re getting there on their own I think.”

“Okay.”

“Text me.”

“I will.”

“Tell Frankie Charlotte will be there.”

Henry chuckles.

“Okay.”

—

“Do you wanna go on a party?”, Henry asks, after kicking open the door to Frankies room.

She’s laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to music.

She pauses the music and looks up.

“Can you repeat? I’m pretty sure I misunderstood.”

“Do you wanna go on a party?”

“With you?”

“Yeah.”

“What the fuck?”

“Charlotte will be there.”

“Why would you agree to go on a party?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yeah, I’m worried about you.”

“Do you want to go? Yes or no?”

“Is Ted going?”

“No. ..Yes, but.. that’s not the reason I’m asking you to go with me.”

“You’re pathetic, I’ll go with you.”

“Okay.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow. They’ll pick us up.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, cool.”

“You’re really desperate.”

“What? No.”

“You despise parties.”

“Maybe I changed my opinion on them.”

“I think someone else changed your opinion.”

“Ugh, just.. no.”

Henry leaves her room, pushing the door shut behind himself.

—

The party is near college.

It’s in a house at the edge of campus, between the football field and the forest.

It’s the only house there and apparently the guy who’s throwing the party is the son from the principal or someone important and they’re rather rich.

Frankie is sitting on the passenger’s seat next to Charlotte, wearing red dungarees and dark purple lipstick and that truly is a look.

Henry and Ted are sitting in the back of the car and Henry can’t help but stare at Ted‘s soft skin under his slightly unbuttoned shirt.  
Ted is always incredibly handsome but this really isn’t fair anymore.  
Part of Henry wants to slowly unbutton the shirt all the way and kiss Teds chest and the other part of Henry despises himself for that thought.

Charlotte pulls over next to the other cars, pulling the handbrake and turning off the engine.

“This is it, I think“, she says.

Frankie is just staring at her and Henry really wants to tease her about it.  
Who’s desperate now? Not Henry.

At least if he ignores the fact that he just thought about gently undressing Ted for a solid ten minutes.

Ted is the first one to get out of the car and Henry quickly follows.

He steps next to Ted onto the street and then both of them stare at the house.

“Are we still tiramisu-ing?”, Henry asks.

“In front of Brianna?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, fuck it, let’s do it.”

Henry chuckles. “Okay?”

Ted wraps his arm around Henrys shoulders and leads him towards the house.

“Come on, babe.”

“Do you seriously call people you’re dating babe?”

“Sometimes.”

Henry is so into it.

“Sometimes?”

“I usually vary.” Ted leans closer to him to kiss his cheek and whisper a “Darling” against his skin.

Henry almost forgets to breath for a second there.

“‘Kay”, he fumbles out.

They walk for a while, because Charlotte parked rather far away. There’s that whole road leading up to that house.

“A vampire could live there”, Ted notes.

“I wanna live there”, Henry says, staring at the house, all big and gorgeous. It’s old but not like it will fall apart soon. It’s weirdly nice, the front is made of wood and painted in dark reds and blues and greens and mustard yellow accents.

“Maybe you can marry into that family”, Ted jokes.

Henry smiles.

“I’m not that desperate.”

“We’ll see. The son could be hot.”

“I doubt it.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s really rich. Rich people are annoying.”

“They’re not that rich.”

“A little rich.”

“A little.”

“Hey!”, someone shouts and Henry looks up to see Brianna walk towards them, smiling brightly.

They almost reached the porch of the house now and Henry can hear the music blasting from inside.

“Hey!”, Ted says, letting go of a Henry to hug her.

She hugs Henry too, who’s a little overwhelmed by it, because for some reason he prepared for a handshake.

“I’m glad you came.”

“Of course we did”, Ted says, reaching for Henrys hand.

“Hi”, Frankie says, arriving with Charlotte.

“Hi”, Brianna says, “I’m Bri.”

“Frankie”, Frankie says, “Henrys sister.”

“I’m Charlotte”, Charlotte introduces herself. “I think I know you from school. You were dating Ted, right?”

She nods, smiling now. “Yeah.”

Henry can feel Frankie stare at him and looks up to see her nod towards his and Teds hands, interlocked.

Henry shrugs lightly and she raises an eyebrow and then Henry shakes his head and she nods, smiling.

Henry just looks away, before it gets embarrassing.

“You guys wanna go inside? I can show you around a little”, Brianna says now and Ted nods, pulling Henry along as they follow her onto the porch and into the house.

“How do you know the guy who lives here?”, Henry asks.

“Stu? I know him from elementary school. And my cousin is dating his sister, so..”

“Oh, cool.”

“Yeah, he’s nice. Maybe I can introduce you guys later.”

“Yes!”, Ted says and winks at Henry and Henry just shakes his head, somehow unable to keep himself from laughing quietly.

Brianna walks them through the house, only the first floor.

There’s stairs leading up, but there’s a barrier tape blocking the way.

“Drinks and snacks are over there”, she points at a table, “and in the kitchen. That was about it.”

“Thanks”, Henry mumbles, looking around.

There’s a dance floor next to them in the living room, but no one is dancing. No one is drunk enough yet, probably.

Everything looks rich but in a more comfortable way than Henry imagined.

All the people look bored, a little tired, even.

The party truly hasn’t reached its peak yet.

Henry can’t help but notice Teds hand on his lower back.

He’s really committing now. 

Henry doesn’t mind, it’s just that it gets harder to think straight, because he’s like, not straight at all and Ted keeps reminding him of that.

Henry looks at Ted, who is looking at Brianna.

His eyes are soft and loving and it hurts to see a look like that directed at someone who isn’t Henry.

Henry feels something like jealousy build up in him again.

He’s not even sure if what he’s feeling is jealousy.

He’s just panicking, scared that Ted will fall in love with her again, before Henry even got the chance to tell him about his feelings.

But to be fair, Henry did have the chance to tell Ted.

More than once and he never took it.

So if Ted wants to get back together with Brianna, Henry really doesn’t have the right to be sad about it.

That doesn’t mean that he _won’t_ be sad about it.

Henry wants to tell Ted.

He wants to tell him he’s in love with him because he’s been keeping the secret for a while and at this point, he feels like he can’t pretend anymore.

He’s never been good at keeping secrets and Ted is absolutely perfect, just standing there with his smile and his brown brown eyes.

Henry wants to tell him because Brianna is incredible and Henry wouldn’t blame Ted if he fell back in love with her.

Henry wants to say how he feels before that happens, just so Ted knows where he’s at.  
Just so Ted knows he could have Henry, if he wanted him.

He probably doesn’t but still.

At least he’d know.

If Ted gets back together with Brianna and Henry tells him about his feelings afterwards, that would just be the biggest asshole move.

So Henry makes the decision to tell Ted sometime that night.

He just has to figure out how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned for this party to last like two chapters but now it looks like it’s gonna be six at least, I’m sorry


	46. Cupid Shoots To Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the party proceeds, Henry’s decisions get worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- alcohol consumption  
\- cheating (mentioned)  
\- smoking (mentioned)

An hour later they lost Charlotte and Frankie and even Brianna and they’re just sitting outside on the porch, on a couch, leaning onto each other.

Everybody at that party seems to have woken up by now, because some of them started to dance and it got a lot louder.

Henry is leaning on Teds shoulder, a little tired from socializing and rather nauseous from the amount of snacks they ate.

For some reason Henry is still holding on to the idea of telling Ted about his feelings that night.

He even thinks about saying it right there, right then.

Because they’re alone and Ted is holding him.

But just saying it feels weirdly unspectacular.

Henry thinks about getting up, but that would be awkward.

He could just climb on Teds lap and kiss him. But that would be even worse, especially if it turns out that Ted doesn‘t want him to do that.

Henry turns his head to Ted a little, for comfort mostly, as he slowly gives up.

Maybe Henry is just tired but for some reason he decides to just try and be in the moment. Just float, let himself be close to Ted for a bit and maybe, maybe he’ll get the courage to say it.

What can go wrong? Only everything.

“Are you okay?”, Ted asks.

Henry opens his eyes and realises how close Ted is. He turned his face to Henry and now there‘s not much space left to conquer in order to steal a kiss.

But Henry doesn’t want to steal, Henry wants to get.  
He wants Ted to want it too.   
He wants Ted to want _him_ too.   
And he’s pretty sure Ted doesn’t.

Henry blushes under Ted gaze and nods now.

“A little tired.”

Ted smiles.

“You’ll wake up again. But we can leave anytime, yeah?”

“We just got here.”

“We’ve been here for an hour and I’m not gonna force you to stay if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable.”  
He‘s really not.   
He‘s with Ted, it’s his favourite place to be.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Ted looks away again and Henry follows his gaze to realize he’s looking at Brianna.

She’s standing there with some guy, seemingly sharing a cigarette.

“You should go talk to her”, Henry says.

“Why?”

“Because you’re in love with her again.”

Ted doesn’t even deny it. So Henry is right.

“She’s just here over the summer. I don’t think she changed her opinion about long distance relationships.”

Henry hesitates.

“So?”

“And I’d be a horrible friend if I just left you here to go talk to her.”

“Oh shut up, that’s not even a valid reason.”

“We’re still dating too.”

“You can break up with me right now.”

“That would just be sad.”

“You could tell her we broke up a few weeks ago but stayed friends.”

“I don’t want to.”

It’s quiet after that.

Henry isn’t even sure why he’s trying so hard to make Ted break up with him.

Maybe he just wants a valid reason to be sad. He feels so stupid being sad right now.

Maybe he just wants Ted to go on and break his heart already because at least then Henry would have some kind of confirmation that Ted doesn’t like him back.

All of this not knowing is killing Henry.

Maybe he just wants Ted to reject him before he has a chance to confess his feelings.

Maybe Henry is just a fucking coward.

“You really wouldn’t mind if I went to her for a while?”, Ted quietly asks.

“No”, Henry lies, “I was gonna look for Frankie and Charlotte anyway.”

“No, I meant like.. you wouldn’t mind if I went and broke up with you?”

“Ted we’ve been over this.”

“So no?”

“I surely won’t cry myself to sleep over this.”

Henry nudges him away and Ted chuckles.

“Sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure sure?”

“Just fuck off already. She’s alone now.”

The guy who was standing next to her left and now it’s just her and her phone and a half smoked cigarette.

“Okay”, Ted says.

Henry sits up to give Ted the opportunity to get up. And he does, turning around to Henry once more.

“You’ll be okay?”

Henry nods and forces a smile.

“I will.”

“Okay.”

He throws a peace sign at Henry and leaves.

As soon as he is far enough, Henry lets his smile drop.

So there it goes.

Does this make him a good friend? 

He feels like a horrible friend, because he should be happy for Ted and he isn’t.

He gets up when Ted reaches Brianna and says something, making her laugh.

—

He goes back in the house, with no actual destination in mind, just the wish to find Charlotte and Frankie.

Deep down, he just wants to go home.

Maybe he should.

Ted is with Brianna now and Henry shouldn’t even have agreed to come to this party in the first place.

He just wants to go home and watch his comfort musical and cry for a bit and eventually sleep.

They’ve been there for an hour anyway.

Henry really doesn’t like being all alone in a crowd of strangers.

Frankie and Charlotte aren’t in the living room or the kitchen, so Henry just starts to open various doors.

He finds a back door, leading out of the house but on the other side.

There’s just grass and the beginning of the football field.

There’s a group of five boys, sitting there and drinking and smoking something, maybe weed.

Henry goes back inside and pushes open the last door, the only one he didn’t try yet.

Good news is, he finds them.

Bad news is, he walks in on them kissing.

Or making out.

Smooching, whatever.

It’s some kind of bedroom they’re in and they’re sitting on the floor next to the bed.

They fell apart from each other and looked up when Henry opened the door and now it’s just uncomfortable silence.

“Fuck, sorry”, Henry mumbles.

He’s somehow stuck, unable to just back out of the room and leave because what the fuck?

Frankie’s lipstick is all over their lips and Charlottes neck.

Charlottes eyes widened and her face reached the darkest red.

“Please don’t be mad”, she fumbles out.

“What?”

“She’s your sister, I figured you’d be mad.”

“Oh shit”, Henry utters. “No.”

“I-..”

“It’s okay. I’m just really overwhelmed right now.”

Frankie smiles now and Henry lightly shakes his head at her.

“I’m sorry for barging in”, he says, reaching for the door, to leave.

“Are you alright?”, Charlotte asks.

“Yes! Yes, sorry, go on.”

He leaves, quietly cursing himself.

He carefully closes the door and takes a deep breath.

Why is this party getting worse the longer he’s there?

Like, good for Frankie and Charlotte and good for Ted but out of an incredibly self-centered point of view? This is the worst party ever. 

And Henry has a feeling it hasn’t even reached it’s peak in making him uncomfortable.   


—

He goes for the bathroom.

Because locking yourself in a bathroom is the best way to escape uncomfortable social situations.

There’s a line in front of the most obvious one but Brianna pointed out another one earlier, a rather secret one and Henry goes for that one now because all he wants to be is alone.

He closes the door behind himself and closes his eyes for a moment, leaning against it. 

“Fuck”, he whispers.

“Mood”, someone says and Henry flinches, looking up.

He sees a girl.

She’s just laying in the empty bathtub, holding a bottle of some kind of alcohol.

“Sorry”, Henry quickly says, reaching for the door again.

“No no, it’s fine. Here’s enough space for two self-loathing individuals.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah, if you tell me your name, I might even let you have some of my booze.”

“I’m Henry.”

“Winona.”

“Are you okay?”

“Absolutely not. Wanna sit with me for a while?”

“Sure.”

He did want to be alone but that seems nearly impossible and she seems nice, maybe hanging out with her will be fine.

Henry walks towards the bathtub and she pushes herself up and swings her legs over the edge of it, making space for him.

He lets himself drop inside, copying her in the way he lets his legs hang over the edge.

“Want some?”, she asks, holding the bottle towards him.

“No thank you, I don’t drink.”

“’Kay.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Just found out my boyfriend is a fucking dick.”

“Oh. Sorry about that.”

“You didn’t fuck him.”

“Shit. He cheated?”

“You bet.”

“Fuck him then. You deserve better.”

She smiles.

“Yeah.”

She just kind of lets her head drop on Henrys shoulder and he lets her, because he doesn’t see a reason why he shouldn’t.

“What about you?”, she asks.

“Huh?” 

“What are you doing here?”

“I.. uh, I’m in love with someone who I just realized will probably never feel the same, so..”

“Shit man, that sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, sucks for her. You’re cute”, she says.

Henry stays quiet, while he thinks about whether or not he should correct her.

She sits up a little and looks at him now.

“Actually, you’re really fucking cute”, she mumbles.

He opens his mouth to tell her, when she leans closer.

It’s awkward.

Because Henry turns away before her lips can reach his, so her lips just kind of brush his cheek.

“No”, Henry says.

“I’m sorry”, she says.

“I just..” How is he supposed to put this? “You’re really drunk. And I’m sure you’re nice and everything but I don’t know you and I’m like.. really gay.”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry”, she says.

“Sorry.” 

“No, like, that’s fine.”

“Okay.”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I should have asked.”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

At least she didn’t just shove her tongue down his throat.

It’s quiet and awkward after that and the longer they both stare at the bathroom floor, the more Henry realises that he’d really like to just stop being conscious for a while.

“Actually, can I have some?”, he asks, pointing at the bottle in her hand.

She nods.

“Sure.”

She hands it to him and he hesitates for a moment before he just downs some of it. 

“Ew”, he mumbles afterwards, because he did not expect it to taste like that, somehow.

“It’s not supposed to taste good”, she says.

“I realise that now.”

“At least it does the trick.”

“Mh.”

They share most of the bottle in silence.

Henry hates the taste but if it stops making him think, then that’s worth it.

Getting some courage would be nice too.

A part of him also just really wants to get shit-faced drunk at least once in his life.

He always did the right thing, he ran out of good ideas now.

It’s time he starts making really bad decisions, simply because he can.


	47. It‘s A Whole Lot To Hold Back (You Know That)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Henry runs into Ted who was looking for him. Chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- drunkenness  
\- dubious consent (?) (bc of drunken intoxication)
> 
> It gets a little steamy but like it’s still sfw I think

Winona decides to go home after a while because “this party sucks”, leaving Henry alone in that bathroom.

She leaves him the bottle, though it’s almost empty by now. 

Henry eventually lays down in that bathtub, staring at the ceiling while regretting every decision he made that evening.

After ten minutes of silence, the door opens and a kissing couple falls into the room.

Henry just stares at them, recognizing Emma and Paul who don’t notice him at all.

“Hi”, Henry says, before they can take their clothes off and it gets awkward.

They stumble apart, looking at him now.

“Shit Henry!”, Emma just says.

Paul gets all red and awkward.

“Sorry”, Henry mumbles, “I just thought I’d say something before you guys are naked.”

“We weren’t gonna..”, Paul starts, stopping when Emma looks at him.

“It’s fine. I’ll leave”, Henry decides.

He pushes himself out of the bathtub, stumbling a little when he’s back on his feet.

He’s generally fine. He expected to be a lot more disconnected from reality. He’s just feeling a little tipsy.

“Shit dude are you okay?”, Emma asks.

“Why is everybody so fucking.. in love?” It sounds a lot more whiny than he expected. He sounds pathetic.

“What?”, Paul asks.

“Everybody is happy but me. That sucks.”

“Dude..”, Emma mumbles.

Henry shrugs, picking up the bottle.

“It’s fine. Enjoy each other.”

He goes for the door.

“Wait”, Emma says.

“What?”

“Did you drink all of that alone?”

“No.”

“Sure?”

“Yes, sure.”

“What happened to you?” 

“Nothing.” 

Tears are building up in his eyes now for no reason or some reason, he’s not sure. 

“Did someone do something to you?”, Paul asks. 

Henry quickly shakes his head. 

“I swear I’m fine”, he just says, before he leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. 

He quickly makes his way through the people, just in case Emma and Paul try to follow him. 

He leaves the bottle on some shelf after getting sick of holding it. 

He’s not sure where he’s going and he kind of hates how his thoughts are still too loud, too annoying. 

“Henry!” 

He looks up to see Ted. 

He’s smiling and he’s coming towards Henry. 

“Hey!”, Henry says, putting on a smile as well. 

“I was looking for you”, Ted says. 

“Oh?” 

Ted frowns lightly, watching him now. 

“Are you drunk?” 

“No.” 

“Darling..” 

“I’m okay.” 

“If you say so?” 

“I do.” 

Ted wraps his arm around him, carefully leading him through the crowd now. 

“Where are we going?”, Henry quietly asks. 

“I wanna show you something. It made me think of you.” 

Henry almost starts to cry at those words. He’s feeling weirdly emotional. 

Maybe this is how he is when he’s drunk. Overly emotional and stupid. 

“Okay”, he mumbles. 

Ted leads him out of the house and down the stairs of the porch. 

They walk around the house, towards the forest. 

There’s a greenhouse. 

It’s rather big for the fact that it’s standing in someone’s backyard but it’s pretty. It looks old and Henry is kind of into that. 

Ted leads him around it and opens the door, holding it open for Henry to go inside, which he does. 

It’s beautiful. 

It’s full of plants, all green and big and extraordinary. 

Henry hears Ted close the door behind them and turns around to him now. 

“Do you like it?”, Ted asks. 

Henry nods and Ted smiles brightly. 

“I thought you would. It’s so pretty.”

He comes towards Henry now, carefully walking past him and reaching for his hand to pull him along. 

“I’ll show you my favourite”, he explains. 

Maybe Henry is just drunk but this feels incredibly romantic. 

Maybe Ted likes him too? 

Henry’s heart gets all excited at the idea of it. 

Ted leads him to a corner. 

It’s rather neat in disproportion to the rest of the greenhouse. 

There’s a shelf with a bunch of plants standing on it. 

Next to it is a big pot with an enormous cactus in it. 

It’s rather flat, blue-ish green pads with magenta coloured fruits. An opuntia. 

Ted points at it. “How cool is that?”

“This is your favourite?”, Henry asks.

He nods.

“It’s so big, I love how it’s taller than me.” 

Henry can’t help but smile. 

“Yeah?” 

“I will never get sick of staring at it.” 

“It’s an opuntia”, Henry says, “Or a prickly pear.” 

Ted chuckles. “Nerd”, he mumbles, but in a loving way, in a way that makes Henrys heart beat faster. 

“Can I put this in our dorm?”, Ted asks. 

“Like this exact one?” 

“No, my own. ..Or is the room too small for it? Maybe it wants to be free, maybe it wants to be outside. Shit, I want a greenhouse like this”, he rambles quietly.

Good god, Henry is in deep. 

Part of him just wants to kiss Ted because he’s so adorable. 

“Maybe  you should marry the son of this family then”, Henry says, slowly catching himself. 

Ted chuckles. “Steve?”

“Pretty sure it was Stu.”

“Oh, yeah, whatever.”

Ted is still staring at the plant, meanwhile Henry can’t stop staring at Ted.

It’s rather dark in that greenhouse, because it’s rather dark outside. But there’s the moonlight falling in and onto Ted and once again Henry realises just how beautiful Ted is.

“This made you think of me?”, Henry asks quietly. 

“Yeah, I liked it so much, I wanted to show you.” 

Ted looks at Henry now. 

There’s a smile on his lips and his eyes are beaming. 

Henry is not that cheesy, usually, but Ted is prettier than any of the plants in there. 

“It _is_ pretty, right?”, Ted asks. 

Henry nods, fumbling out a “yes”. 

“You’re not looking at it, you’re looking at me”, Ted notes, “very sappy.” 

“You’re pretty too”, Henry whispers, only realising that he said it out loud when Ted laughs quietly. 

“Hen, are you sure you’re not drunk?” 

“Yeah.” 

Ted nods lightly. 

“Stop staring, before I kiss you or something”, he says, “You’re making me all flustered.” 

Henry takes a step towards Ted, before he even knows what he’s doing. He finds himself resting his arms on Teds shoulders, stepping even closer. 

He’s in a haze, just drunkenly drowning in Teds eyes and looking for a way to be close to him without fucking up their friendship. 

Ted smiles. His wry, adorable smile. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Dance?” 

“That sounds nice.” 

Ted carefully pulls Henry into a slow sway. 

Henry closes his eyes, sinking into Teds arms and resting his head on Teds shoulder. 

Ted smells nice. Henry always knew that but somehow it hits different when you’re tipsy. 

He pushes his hand up into Teds hair, letting his fingers play with it for a while. 

And he turns his head, so that his nose brushes the soft skin in Teds neck. 

He wants to kiss Ted there. 

He imagines himself doing it for a while, still fighting for some self control. 

Then he gives up and pushes his chin towards Teds neck and presses a kiss there. 

Ted’s breath hitches and Henry keeps going, placing one kiss after the other. 

Teds grip around his waist gets tighter, pulling Henry close and that’s weirdly reassuring. 

Henry lets go of Teds hair now, going for his shirt instead.  
It’s hard to unbutton it with only one hand, his left hand specifically. 

He doesn‘t get far. 

“Henry what are you doing?”, Ted whispers soon. 

He sounds a little groggy. 

He carefully pulls Henry off his neck, holding his face in both hands as he makes him look into his eyes. 

Henry is not sure what Ted is trying to achieve with that, because it honestly just makes the infatuation worse on Henrys part.

Henry is on the ground, unable to get up because he fell too hard and there’s no going back and Ted is not helping it at all.   
Ted is keeping him there, actually, and the worst thing about that is, that he’s not doing it on purpose.   


Ted looks so innocent and confused. He’s blushing and his eyes drop on Henrys lips for a moment.

“Hen?”, Ted whispers. 

“Yeah?”, Henry mutters, leaning closer already, wishing for a kiss. 

Ted just hesitates and Henry is too impatient to wait for an answer. 

So he closes the gap and does what he’s been wanting to do for months. 

Ted’s lips are just as soft as Henry remembers. 

He hits them a little too rough but the kiss they melt into is gentle and careful.  
Maybe Henry is a little too eager and desperate but he’s tipsy and maybe he can explain it with that later. 

He doesn’t want to think about explanations now. 

Ted is kissing him back with the same amount of urgency and that’s all that matters. 

Henry doesn’t even think anymore. He just lets himself loose control. 

He gradually pushes Ted back, against the glass wall and Ted gasps quietly when he hits it. It’s probably the hottest sound Henry has ever heard. 

Ted’s hands slip back, all the way into Henrys hair, grasping it.

Henry’s head is spinning. 

He slowly continues unbuttoning Teds shirt but quickly runs out of patience. 

He gives up half way in and instead slips his hand in Teds shirt to roam over his chest. He pushes the shirt off Teds shoulder in the process, as far as it gets. 

His skin is so soft, soft enough for Henry to pull away from the kiss and drop his lips into Teds neck again. He follows the soft line of his collarbones for a while, then he starts to trace Teds shoulder, his neck. 

Ted just let his head drop back against the wall and his breath goes heavy, hitching every now and then. He keeps tugging on Henrys hair as he pulls him closer, seeming almost desperate.   


Henry is not going to deny that this is making him feel things.   
Good god, he’s so in love with Ted. 

“Henry-“, Ted whispers eventually. 

Henry keeps going. 

Because that almost sounded like a moan and in that moment, Henry is in such a state of infatuation that it doesn’t occur to him that it could mean ‘stop’. 

Teds grip in his hair gets stronger, when he pulls Henry away instead of closer. 

“Hen, wait a second”, Ted mutters. 

Henry forces himself off Ted, stumbling a little as he looses balance. 

Ted looks disheveled and flustered and out of breath. It’s kind of cute but Henry immediately feels bad about it, when it slowly dawns on him what just happened. 

He did that. 

“I’m sorry”, he fumbles out. 

Ted opened his mouth but it takes a while until he speaks. 

“It’s fine”, he mutters. His eyes wander over Henry, maybe looking for something but Henry isn’t sure what. 

“You taste like alcohol”, Ted says now. “We, uh.. we should get you some water.” 

“I’m not drunk.”

“Yes you are. You must be.” 

“No I’m not.” 

Ted hesitates now. 

And that’s when Henry starts to panic a little, not wanting to loose Ted. He just threw himself at him.  
How desperate was that?   
He probably made him incredibly uncomfortable.  
He shouldn’t have.

“Shit, I’m really sorry”, Henry says, “I should have asked.” 

Ted just looks concerned. “Are you alright?” 

“Just horny, it appears.” 

Ted chuckles quietly and Henry smiles hesitantly, relieved that Ted doesn’t seem too mad. 

“I’m truly flattered that you picked me then”, Ted says, awkwardly pulling his shirt back up over his shoulder. 

“You’re the only guy around.” 

He smiles. “Ouch.” 

“But maybe I would have picked you anyway.” 

He started to button his shirt again, unfortunately, but stops for a moment and looks up as he mumbles: “Yeah?” 

“I’d rather make out with you than some stranger.” 

“We shouldn’t.. we shouldn’t kiss like that.” 

“Yeah.” 

It’s quiet for a while. 

Ted buttons the rest of his shirt, closing even more buttons than there were closed before Henry opened it. 

The silence isn’t as uncomfortable as earlier but Henry still feels rather stupid. At the same time he’s still yearning to kiss Ted like he just did again. Because good god, that was heaven. 

“It was nice though”, Henry quietly admits after a while. 

Mostly to end the silence. 

He’s not sure where he’s trying to go with this. 

To Henry’s surprise, Ted nods. 

“Yeah”, he says. 

“Like we can kiss, right? It’s not a big deal”, Henry claims. 

Ted nods again, a smile forming on his lips. 

“Do you want to kiss again? Is that what you’re trying to say?” 

Henry blushes. 

“No?”

“Sure.” 

“I’m not that desperate.” 

Ted raises an eyebrow. “Hen, you-..” 

“Yeah I know how I just kissed your neck. I got carried away.” 

He nods lightly. “I mean that was hot.” 

“I can do it again.” 

“Jesus Christ.” 

“You can just say tiramisu.” 

Ted hesitates. “How much did you drink?” 

“Barely anything.” 

“I don’t wanna do this if you’re too drunk to make decisions.” 

“I swear I’m not.” 

“Darling..” 

Henry steps closer to Ted. “Keep calling me that.” 

The hint of a smile forms on Teds lips. 

“Darling?” 

“Yeah.” 

Henry just reaches for Teds neck, letting his fingers slip up behind Teds ear and into his hair. 

Ted’s eyes temporarily flutter shut at that and Henry can’t help but smile. He’s so in love with Ted, he just wants to make him feel good, at least for a moment. 

“Do you want to?”, Henry quietly asks. 

Ted’s answer consists of kissing Henry. 

Henry doesn’t even care about what this means, he just wants to savour it while it lasts. Ted probably doesn’t feel the same and he’s just slipping through Henrys fingers but if Henry can hold him, just for a while, then he’ll hold on as long as he possibly can. He’s fine with it. 

Ted reaches for his waist and gently pushes him against the shelf next to them. His hands slip down, over Henrys hips, until he lifts him on the shelf in a swift motion. 

Henry wraps his legs around Teds waist and pulls him closer, their kisses growing more desperate now. 

At this point, Henry is just relieving all the tension, the desire, that built up in him over the past months. 

He’s been wanting to do this with Ted for a _while_, he can’t even think anymore. 

He rests his casted arm on Teds shoulder and keeps his other hand in Teds hair, because touching Teds hair is probably one of his favourite things by now. Plus Ted seems to be into it, when he lightly tugs on it, Henry noticed. And Henry is into how much Ted is into it. 

There’s just Teds hot breath against Henrys lips and his taste on Henrys tongue and making out feels even better than Henry ever imagined. 

It’s dead quiet in that greenhouse, making every gasp, every quiet groan sounds louder in Henrys ears than it probably actually is and that’s weirdly hot to him.

This isn’t even a platonic kiss anymore, Henry knows that. And he really doesn’t know where they’ll go from there, but he can’t stop now. 

Ted’s hands are all over him, slipping under his T-Shirt and grabbing his thigh to pull him closer and Henry neither possesses the will nor the ability to put a stop to it. 

Instead he just falls deeper, almost blacking out when Ted goes for his neck, placing kisses there. 

Henry left reality and he never wants to go back. This is just perfect, this is where he wants to spend forever. 

He runs his fingers through Teds hair, turning his head to Ted now to press a kiss against his temple.

He stays there for a while, letting Teds kisses consume his mind, his nose buried in Teds hair. 

Eventually he lets his hands drop from Teds shoulder, Teds head. All the way down to his pants, fumbling with the belt, in an attempt to get it open. 

Then it’s over. 

Ted stops kissing Henry. 

Suddenly his hands are on Henrys wrists, carefully pulling Henrys hands off his belt. 

He rests his forehead against Henrys, catching his breath. 

When Henry opens his eyes, he sees that Teds are closed. 

“What?”, Henry quietly asks. 

“We shouldn’t.” 

“Go there?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay.” 

Ted pulls back a little and opens his eyes, looking at Henry now. “We’re just friends.” 

Ouch. “Yeah.” 

“You’re drunk, I shouldn’t have..” 

“No, it’s fine.” 

“I shouldn’t have let this happen.” 

“Ted..” 

Ted let’s go of Henry’s wrists now, then he takes a step back, giving Henry some space. 

“Fuck, what are we doing?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Henry let’s himself slip off the shelf because he feels weird sitting there. 

He feels like crying now, because Ted looks like he regrets it a lot. 

“Are you back with Bri?”, Henry asks, maybe looking for some kind of explanation as to why Ted doesn’t love him back. 

“No”, Ted says. 

“But you like her again?” 

“Can we not talk about Bri?” 

“Okay.” 

“I just..” 

Henry turns away, because he can’t bear looking at Ted anymore. 

He should tell him. 

He should tell him that he loves him and what just happened meant the world to him. He should say it now, before it’s too late. 

“Let’s go back to the party”, Ted says. 

“No, wait.“ 

“Why not?” 

Henry opens his mouth. 

It’s on the tip of his tongue. 

He waits for himself to say it, staying quiet. 

“I’m sorry, Henry. You’re drunk and I.. shit, I completely took advantage of it. I should do the right thing for once and get you some water, so you can sober up.” 

“You did nothing wrong.” 

“Yeah I did.” 

“No.” 

“Just come. Let’s go.” 

“Ted-“ 

“I’m sorry.” 

Ted reaches for Henrys wrist, carefully pulling him out of the green house. 

I love you, Henry thinks, it’s okay because I wanted it, I love you, I’m not that drunk. 

He almost starts to cry because he can’t speak anymore. He can’t even breath, it’s like someone is choking him, shutting him up. 

He just follows Ted, stumbling a little because the booze in his system makes it hard to focus and his eyes keep welling up with tears.

This almost worked out and that’s probably the worst part about the whole situation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah they really went for it there huh


	48. Working Boys - A New Musical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After witnessing what seems like an intimate moment between Ted and Brianna, Henry escapes the party and finds himself on the football field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- alcohol consumption  
\- drug use (weed)  
\- dubious consent (intoxication again)

“Are you okay?”, Ted asks, as he leads Henry up the stairs onto the porch. 

Henry nods. 

Ted looks so concerned. Concerned and guilty. 

Henry wants to say something to make him feel better, but he doesn’t know what to say and at this point he just wants to cry. 

They enter the house and suddenly there’s people and loud music again and it all feels so surreal. 

“I have to use the bathroom”, Henry blurts out, stopping in front of the door. 

“I’ll wait here.” 

“No, I’m fine. Go enjoy the party.” 

Henry just slips into the bathroom and locks the door behind himself. 

So there he is again. 

Alone in a bathroom and regretting every decision he made that evening. 

He stumbles to the sink and leans onto it while he stares into the mirror in shock, trying to process what just happened. 

He starts to cry somewhere in the process of processing, just letting it flow instead of holding it back. 

He just cries, sniffling quietly.  
He presses his hand on his mouth eventually, in an attempt to drown out any sobs that make it through despite his efforts to hold them back. 

He can still feel the soft pressure of Teds lips on his, if he closes his eyes and tries to remember.   
He can still feels Teds hands on his waist and Teds hair between his fingers.

The memory is still so clear but Henry can already feel it slipping away into oblivion. That thought makes him panic, a little. He doesn’t want to forget how it felt. But he knows it’s not going to happen again, not anytime soon anyway. 

He really fucked up.

He really thought Ted likes him too, for a moment there. 

That was so stupid. That was so incredibly idiotic. 

Henry knows he owes him an apology now. 

Ted looked miserable and it’s Henrys fault. 

He should say sorry and he should explain. He did it because he’s in love, not that that changes or excuses anything.  
But Ted should know. 

Henry spends another five minutes in there, trying to stop crying and dry the tears and make himself look less like he cried. 

Then he takes a deep breath and goes for the door. 

He doesn’t see Ted at first, as soon as he’s back in the corridor. 

He eventually spots him a few feet away, talking to Brianna. 

They’re standing rather close and she’s just kind of holding onto both of his hands, speaking as he nods lightly, every now and then. 

It looks intimate. 

Too intimate for Henry to step in and confess his undying love for Ted. 

She smiles now and brings his hands up to her lips, kissing his knuckles. 

Ted smiles as well. 

He looks in love. 

He’s too focused on her to even notice Henry standing there. She doesn’t notice Henry either, neither of them do. 

Henry carefully closes the bathroom door behind himself, then he makes his way through the house, towards the back of it, going as far away from Ted as he possibly can. 

He’s hurt. 

A lot more than he should be or than he’s allowed to. 

The kiss earlier felt like a confession, at least on Henrys part. And even if Ted already killed most of Henrys hope for reciprocation by ending it all, some of it was still alive.  
Well now that’s gone too.   


Ted is tiramisu-breaking up with him, isn’t he?

It’s probably for the best, Henry deserves it. 

Henry is a horrible friend.

He should be happy for Ted and he’s not and that makes him feel even worse than the fact that Ted is romantically holding hands with Brianna.

He goes outside, using the back door he discovered earlier. He feels like he can’t properly breath when he’s in that house and he’s desperate for some fresh air. 

It’s almost quiet, outside. 

There’s just the muffled sound of the music, slipping through the walls and the laughter of a group of boys, a little further away on the football field. 

It’s the same boys Henry saw earlier, they didn’t move in the past hour or hours. 

Henry isn’t sure how much time he spent in that bathroom or how much time he spent kissing Ted. 

He steps down the few stairs, not sure where he wants to go but pretty sure that he wants to get away from that house for a while. 

Because Ted is in there, probably kissing Brianna. 

Henry slowly lets himself sink down on the stairs, burying his face in his hands. 

Why does it hurt so much? 

It’s not supposed to hurt so much. 

It doesn’t even make sense. 

Henry just wants to be happy, is that too much to ask? 

The tears start coming and they don’t stop. Now he’s just breaking down, sobbing quietly. 

He cries for a while, sitting alone and wishing he was anywhere but there. 

He gets interrupted at some point. 

”Hey man, are you okay?”, someone asks. 

He sounds concerned, nice. 

Henry looks up to see that one of the guys from that football field came over to him.

Henry shakes his head. 

“What’s wrong? Do you wanna talk about it?” 

Henry shrugs lightly. 

The boy sits down next to him, watching him with his soft eyes. 

He looks nice. He seems nice. 

Maybe he’s a little drunk, maybe even high, but definitely nice. 

“I’m Stu”, he says. 

Henry frowns. 

“You’re the guy who lives here?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Why aren’t you in there then?” 

He shrugs. 

“Don’t feel like it.” 

“Okay. No offence but me neither.” 

Stu laughs quietly. 

His laugh is weirdly contagious. He seems like one of those people who light up the room with their presence. 

At least he lights up Henry. 

“What’s your name?”, he asks now. 

“Henry.” 

“That sounds nice.” 

“I got it from my parents.” 

He smiles again. 

“Cool.” 

“Thank you, I like yours too.” 

“Thanks.” 

It’s quiet after that but Henry feels a little bit better, at least. 

“Do you wanna come sit with me and my friends?”, Stu asks. 

“You wouldn’t mind?” 

“Nah man, they made me go check on you because you just sat here crying and not moving for like ten minutes.” 

“Shit, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. You’re allowed to cry. We just got concerned.” 

Henry wipes the tears off his face now. 

“I’d like to sit with you for a while”, he admits. 

Stu is nice, the others are probably too if they’re his friends. And Henry really wants to think about something other than his feelings and Ted for a while. 

Stu gets up and offers Henry his hand to pull him up as well. 

He puts his hand on Henrys shoulder as they walk towards the others and it’s weirdly reassuring. 

“Hey this is Henry”, Stu introduces him. 

Henry waves awkwardly. 

“Hi, I’m Greg”, one of them says. He’s got longer blond hair, tied up into a bun and he’s just kind of piled up between two other guys, leaning against one of them and holding the other one in his arms. 

The other two introduce themselves as Leighton and Mark. 

Stu then points at the last guy, laying on the ground a few feet away and talking on the phone. 

“That’s Steve.” 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles, nodding lightly. 

“He’s talking to his girlfriend”, Leighton notes, “They’re doing long distance.” 

“Cool.” 

“Yeah, no, it’s pretty rough.” 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry then.” 

“That’s why I’m not dating anyone”, Stu notes. 

“No one wants to date you”, Greg says. 

Stu flips him off before he sits down on the ground. 

Henry sits down next to him. 

“Beer?”, Stu asks. 

Henry nods. 

Because why not knock himself out? 

Maybe it’ll make him forget about the greenhouse. 

Stu leans over to a cooler and opens it to get a bottle for Henry. 

He opens it and hands it to him. 

“There you go.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Are you alright?”, Mark asks now, watching Henry and looking a little concerned. 

Henry shrugs, then he nods. 

“Yeah.” 

“You got us pretty concerned.” 

“Sorry. I probably overreacted.” 

“I’m sure you didn’t”, Stu says, “Crying is healthy.” 

“I just.. there’s that guy I like”, Henry explains. 

“Heartbreak?”, Leighton asks. 

“I guess.” 

“What happened? Did he reject you?” 

“Something like it. I mean, I didn’t tell him. I just wanted to and he was just.. standing there with his ex, looking all in love.” 

“Shit.” 

“It’s really stupid, probably. But it kind of hurts.” 

“Kind of? Come on.”

“It hurts like shit“, Henry admits. 

He takes a swig of the beer, pulling a face afterwards, because that’s probably the most disgusting thing he ever tasted. 

Stu chuckles. 

“Not used to it?” 

“No. I just really wanna get drunk.” 

Henry drinks more, just kind of downing it as quickly as possible. 

“Woah, be careful”, Stu says. 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“He’s not worth it.” 

“He’s my best friend.” 

“Shit.” 

“Like, maybe there’s a chance for you guys though, right?”, Greg chimes in.

Henry shakes his head. 

“It wouldn’t even work.“ 

“I’m dating two of my best friends. It’s great”, Greg says. 

“Who?” 

“Mark and Leigh here.” 

“Oh?” 

They look so happy, Henry would love to be happy too. 

Everybody seems to be happy anyway, except for Henry. 

“Just saying, it works”, Greg says, “It’s probably the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

“You’re such a sap”, Mark mumbles, but he also smiles and kisses the top of Greg’s head. 

“You guys love each other though”, Henry notes, “Ted doesn’t love me like I love him.” 

“Do you know that for sure?”, Greg asks. 

“I mean, I’m pretty sure.” 

“Well his loss.” 

Henry smiles, feeling empty again, while thinking about Ted. 

He drinks more beer, hoping that it will give him the rest. 

It gets quiet, everybody just kind of stares in some direction. 

Mark starts to roll up a joint at some point, sharing it with Greg and Leighton in silence. 

“Want a hit?”, he asks after a while. 

Henry looks up to see that the question is directed at him. 

“How do I do that?”, he just asks. 

He never smoked anything. 

He never had the opportunity and he also never really had the urge to do it. 

But anything goes right now, right? 

He’s going rogue. 

Or he’s trying.

He just wants to forget. 

He just wants it to stop hurting so much. 

“You just breath it in, man”, Greg says. 

“Like..take a breath?” 

Greg smiles and nods. “Yeah.”

“I wanna try it.” 

“Are you sure? You’re pretty drunk”, Stu says. 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” 

Mark hands the joint to Stu who sits closer. 

He hands it to Henry, hesitantly watching as Henry takes it. 

“Be careful”, Stu says, “don’t take too much or you’ll green out.” 

“Is that like an overdose?” 

“I mean, you can’t die from it.” 

“Good to know.” 

“You don’t have to do this.” 

“I want to.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry puts it to his lips and breathes in, way longer than Stu suggested. He tries to hold it but he doesn’t manage for long because he just ends up coughing.

Stu takes the joint from him, laughing as he hands him a bottle of water instead. 

“I’m fine”, Henry says. 

“Sure.” 

Stu takes a drag too and it’s kind of hot, in Henrys opinion. 

Stu is just looking at Henry and Henry stares back. 

Stu’s eyes are brown, almost like Teds. 

He doesn’t look like Ted at all, actually, already based on their completely different skin tones.

But Henry can’t deny that brown eyes are nice and warm and soft and endearing. 

And Stu is kind of handsome. Like not just kind of. He’s really handsome.

Henry finds himself leaning closer to Stu when he takes another drag. 

He rests his forehead against Stu’s and breathes in the smoke when it leaves Stu’s lips. 

Stu hands the joint back to Mark, not taking his eyes off Henry once. 

“You know Henry”, Stu says, cupping his cheek now, “That guy not being in love with you, that’s his loss, because you’re incredible.” 

“Shit Stu, are you flirting with him? He’s a broken man”, Greg mutters. 

“I’m not flirting, I’m trying to make him feel better.” 

Henry smiles. 

“There we go, a smile”, Stu notes, looking at Henry again. 

“Thank you”, Henry mumbles. 

“You have a nice smile.” 

“Keep it in your pants”, Greg chimes in again. 

Henry laughs quietly. 

“Listen, I barely know you, but you seem really cool and you’re fucking hot. If he doesn’t want to date you then he’s just stupid”, Stu keeps going. 

Henry blushes. 

Then he just leans forward and kisses Stu. 

He’s not sure why, he kind of just does it. And when Stu kisses him back and pulls him closer, Henry decides to just keep going. 

Because Stu’s lips are soft and his eyes are brown and Henrys brain feels like a cloud of dust and he doesn’t want to think anymore. 

Stu’s just as intoxicated, probably. 

Their lips meet again and again, lazily but also rather desperate. 

“Damn guys, get a room or something”, one of the others says, Henry doesn’t listen enough to figure out who. 

Stu pulls back and Henry finds himself chasing the kiss. 

“Wanna go to my room?”, Stu whispers. 

Henry nods, a little to eager. 

His vision shakes for a moment and that feels weird. 

All of this feels weird. 

Being high. 

Is he even high? 

He just took one drag and he started coughing almost immediately. 

Maybe it’s because he mixed it with alcohol. Maybe that makes it more intense. 

Whatever it is, Henry is into it, somehow. 

He smiles now, laughing quietly when Stu smiles too. 

“Okay”, Stu whispers. 

He gets up, pulling Henry up as well. 

“Remember to wrap it before you tap it”, Greg says. 

Henry chuckles at the rhyme and Stu smiles, flipping Greg off. 

He wraps his arm around Henry and they start to walk back to the house. 

Henry’s eyes keep defocusing and he blinks now, holding on to Stu for support. 

They make it inside the house and over the dancefloor. 

The music is way too loud, in Henrys opinion, louder than earlier. 

Stu leads him to the stairs, holding up the barrier tape and Henry ducks under it. 

Stu follows him as they stumble upstairs. 

“There it is”, Stu says, pointing at a door. 

Henry goes to open it but ends up crashing into it when it doesn’t open. 

“I locked it”, Stu explains, in the process of fumbling a key out of a vase. 

“Why?” 

Stu laughs quietly. 

“Didn’t want some horny drunk college students to fuck on my bed.” 

“Smart.” 

Stu kisses Henry again. 

“Shit man, you’re gorgeous”, he mumbles, sounding intoxicated but still like he means it. 

Henry kisses him. Almost too desperate.   


Stu reciprocates it until he gently pushes Henry away, just for a moment, so he can unlock the door.   


He opens the door and Henry goes inside, pulling Stu along and pulling him into another kiss as soon as he kicked the door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Henry like, ~really~ wants to live in that house
> 
> also like don’t do drugs kids


	49. Just As Sweet As Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry and Stu are still caught up in drunken intoxication when someone barges in. Apparently tiramisu-cheating is a thing too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- dubious consent  
\- intoxication  
\- throwing up
> 
> It’s a tiny bit steamy again, but only in the beginning, also there’s way too much second hand embarrassment

The kisses they share are desperate and messy. They stumble towards the bed until Stu picks Henry up and carries him for the last distance. 

He slowly sets him down, crawling over him. 

Henry finds himself on his back, wrapping his legs around Stu and pulling him closer, pulling his body flush against his own. 

Henry isn’t really sure where they’re going with this, he isn’t even sure where he wants to go with this. 

He’s feeling rather horny, but he doubts that he’s actually ready to go _there_.

That thought is the only rational thought that comes through, other than that, Henry just acts on autopilot. 

He reaches for Stu’s t-shirt, pushing it up to feel his body underneath. 

He is all muscly. 

It’s hot, but so different to Ted. 

Ted is soft, a little chubby even. Henry loves that. Henry loves how Ted feels underneath his fingertips. 

Henry likes everything about Ted better.  
The way he holds Henry, the way he kisses Henry. 

Ted’s kisses are like gentle passion. Always careful but at the same time firm and desirous enough to make Henrys head swirl. 

Stu’s kisses are, well, kisses. 

It’s fine, he’s a good kisser but Henry doesn’t have many feelings about it further than that. They’re just kisses, nothing more. 

But Henry is horny and drunk and high and a part of him wants to make Ted jealous with this, even if that is very stupid and makes zero sense.

So he keeps going, melting into every kiss and letting his hand wander over Stu’s back, still buried under his t-shirt. 

He’s not sure for how long they’ve kissed until Stu pushes Henrys T-Shirt up and let’s himself sink down to kiss Henrys belly. 

Henry closes his eyes, letting his head fall back. This feels nice. He could get used to being kissed there. 

It’s only when Stu goes on to undo Henrys pants, that he get’s nervous. 

“Wait”, Henry mumbles. 

Stu stops. 

“What is it?” 

“Wait, I-..” 

“Do you want to stop?” 

Henry hesitates, scared that Stu might be disappointed if he says yes. 

“It’s okay”, Stu says, his eyes gentle and reassuring. 

“Yeah I want to stop”, Henry admits. 

“Okay.” 

Stu quickly closes Henrys belt again and pushes himself up. 

He falls onto the bed, next to Henry, staring at the ceiling as well.

Henry feels weird suddenly. A little guilty maybe. This must be so disappointing. 

But also Henry never really agreed to have sex right? 

He hesitates, suddenly not sure anymore what he agreed to when he agreed to come upstairs.

“Sorry”, he mumbles.

“No, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re allowed to change your mind. It’s okay.”

“I can’t even think right now.” 

“Me neither.” 

“We can just kiss, that’s fine.” 

“Sure?” 

Henry nods. “You’re hot, I want to kiss you.” 

Stu smiles and rolls over, halfway on top of Henry. 

They kiss again. 

It’s more gentle this time. 

Less horny. 

Henry wraps his leg around Stu, pulling himself on top of him as he pushes him back on the bed. 

That’s when the door opens. 

There’s a short moment of panic, overwhelming Henry. 

He rolls off Stu, underestimating how close they were laying at the edge of the bed and falling off. 

He lands on the floor, catching himself on his arms and groaning quietly when a soft flash of pain shoots in his broken arm, making him give in immediately and fully crash down. 

At first he wants to laugh about it as he rolls on his back and directs his gaze towards the door. Then he sees who just came in. 

“What the fuck?”, Brianna whispers. 

Henry quickly gets up, almost loosing balance when his brain blacks out for a moment because he got up too fast. 

He feels nauseous now. 

It’s quiet for what feels like an eternity. 

Henry is staring at Brianna and she’s staring at him and Stu. 

Stu sat up in bed. 

“Does Ted know?”, Brianna asks. 

Her question feels like a punch in the guts because it makes Henry remember that he’s supposed to be dating Ted. 

In his defence, he was pretty sure that Ted broke up with him. 

Apparently he didn’t. 

“No”, Henry fumbles out. 

“You have to tell him.”

“No!”

Tears formed in her eyes. 

“If you don’t tell him, I will.”

“Bri..”

“Don’t you fucking dare call me that.” 

It’s quiet after that and Henry feels like crying. 

He tiramisu-cheated on Ted. 

He really thought that this evening couldn’t get worse. 

“It’s not what it looks like”, he tries to explain, having decided to just tell her the truth.  
What else is he supposed to do?

“He doesn’t deserve this!”, Brianna shouts, her voice breaking. Henry flinches at the loud noise. 

He just starts to cry. 

So does Brianna. She presses her hand on her mouth, tears in her eyes. She looks so shocked, so disappointed. 

Stu gets up behind Henry. 

“What’s going on?”, he asks. 

“What’s going on?”, Brianna repeats, “Henry has a fucking boyfriend, that’s what’s going on.” 

“What?”, Stu asks. 

Henry sees him look at him in his peripheral vision, but he doesn’t dare to look up. 

Then it get’s even worse because Ted comes in. 

“Did you find-“ 

He stops when he sees Henry. 

Henry quickly wipes the tears off his cheeks. 

Ted frowns. 

He looks concerned, because of course he does. 

Frankie comes in shortly after Ted. 

Henry just wants to disappear at this point. 

She frowns, looking at Henry, then at Stu. She opens her mouth to say something, but gets interrupted by Ted talking first. 

“Henry are you alright?”, Ted asks. 

“No”, Henry whispers, way too quiet, “Can we talk?” 

“Yeah, of course.” 

“Alone, I mean.” 

Ted frowns. He looks so confused. 

“I heard.. I.. they’re out of tiramisu?”, Henry fumbles out. 

It’s more of a ‘get me out of here’. 

Henry feels helpless, suddenly, unsure what to do. He just hopes Ted understands this.

Ted nods.

He comes towards Henry, reaching for his shoulders.

“It’s okay”, he whispers, “You’re okay.” 

“I fucked up”, Henry just says. 

“Darling, you’re hammered.”

“Sorry.” 

“I’ve got you, it’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay.” 

“What happened?”, Ted asks. 

Henry opens his mouth to answer but nothing comes out. 

His eyes drop on Brianna, who is still looking at him in the same way. 

“You tell him”, Brianna says. 

Henry hesitates. 

Why does he feel like he actually did cheat on Ted? 

“I..”

Ted turns to Brianna now, looking for an answer there. 

“They were making out”, Brianna says. 

Ted doesn’t really answer, he just looks at her, then at Henry, then at Stu. 

“Are you okay?”, he asks Henry. 

Henry shrugs. 

“You’re completely intoxicated”, Ted says. 

“So is he”, Henry mumbles, feeling weirdly sober for a moment and actually fearing that Ted might try to fight Stu, after noticing the way Teds eyes keep skipping between him and Henry, worry in them. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

Henry just stares at him. 

He feels so guilty. 

He feels like an asshole. 

“I’m sorry”, he whispers.

“Shit, what’s wrong?”, Ted asks, whispering too for some reason. 

“I’m so sorry I cheated on you.”

Henry leans closer to Ted, holding on to him now and staying on whispering volume, somehow trying to keep the conversation between him and Ted. 

“What?”

“I made out with him and Bri walked in on us and-“ 

He sobs and then the tears come again. 

“Hey..”, Ted whispers. 

“I fucked up, I’m so sorry.” 

“No.” 

“I cheated on you.”

“Henry..”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“Henry, you didn’t cheat on me, we’re not dating.”

Henry stops for a moment. 

“But Brianna thinks I did and now she’s mad at me”, he then explains. 

“It’s okay, I’ll just tell her the truth.”

That’s when Henry realises that this is not just about Brianna. 

This is about him. 

He’s in love with Ted. And they might not be dating but that doesn’t change anything about Henrys feelings for him. 

Maybe it’s not reasonable and maybe it’s kind of stupid but Henry feels like he cheated on Ted. 

Seeing Ted stand there and look at him now hurts. Because Ted is perfect and Henry loves him so much. He loves him so much, he doesn’t want to kiss anyone else, not even Stu. 

Now the sobs come over him, pulling him in like a riptide. 

“I’m sorry, I fucked up so bad.”

“Hey, calm down.”

“I fucked up. I love you, I don’t know why I kissed him, I love you.”

So there it is.

It’s not as magical as Henry always meant for those words to be. Whispering it under sobs is not even tragically dramatic, it’s just mostly incoherent. 

He’s not even sure if Ted gets it. Henry said it before, after all. Just not like this. Not romantically. 

Ted pulls him into a hug. Henry lets him. 

“I love you too”, Ted says, at normal volume now. 

“No. I..”

“You’re drunk, darling. I don’t think you know what you’re saying.”

“I love you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, take a breath.”

Ted doesn’t get it. 

Henry takes a breath, closing his eyes for a moment. 

“Jesus Ted, he fucking cheated on you”, Brianna says now. 

“What?”, Frankie asks, looking surprised, shocked even. 

“No he didn’t”, Ted clarifies. 

“Yes he did!”, Brianna goes. 

Ted let’s go of Henry, still keeping his hand on Henrys back. 

“We aren’t dating”, Ted says. 

“What?” 

Now everybody is confused. 

And Henry feels the nausea build up in him again. He just ignores the rest of the conversation, turning to Stu instead. 

“Is that a bathroom?”, he asks him, pointing at the only other door in that room. Besides the one that leads out of it. 

Stu nods and Henry stumbles towards the door. 

He manages to locate the toilet and he falls down in front of it. 

Then he throws up. 

He kind of forgot how shitty throwing up feels. 

The last time he threw up was probably a few years ago when he had an abdominal influenza. 

Everything is spinning now. 

Henry feels dizzy, nauseous and overall like shit.

“Hey”, Teds voice says, and Henry slowly realises that he came in. 

Henry is still crying, leaning over the bowl and everything smells like puke. 

Needless to say, he really doesn’t want Ted to see him like this. 

“I’m fine”, he mumbles. 

“Yeah, I see. You’ve never been better.” 

“Shut up.” 

“What happened to you?” 

“I kissed my best friend and now I feel like shit about it.” 

Henry says it before he can even think about it. It just kind of slips out. 

Ted nods lightly. 

“Me too”, he says. 

“Henry?” 

Henry looks up to see Frankie in the doorway. 

She looks worried. 

“I’m fine”, Henry says. 

“No you’re not.” 

“I just wanna be alone, leave me alone”, Henry mumbles. 

“Hey Franks, can you get him some water? Maybe something to eat?”, Ted asks her. 

She nods and leaves again, closing the door behind herself.

“Is it okay if I stay here?”, Ted asks. 

Henry nods lightly. 

It’s not Teds fault that Henry is in love with him and therefore gets hurt just by looking at him. Ted didn’t hurt Henry on purpose, it’s not his fault that Henry is mad. Henry isn’t even mad at Ted, he’s mostly mad at himself because of his feelings for Ted. 

It’s not Teds fault that he’s ridiculously perfect in Henrys eyes and almost exactly the kind of guy Henry always dreamed of dating someday. 

Ted sits down next to him, leaning against the wall. 

“You smell like weed”, he says. 

“Yeah.” 

“Did you-“ 

“Yeah.” 

“Jesus Christ, Hen.” 

“Just one puff.” 

“You’re drunk, you have to be careful when mixing that.” 

“I’m okay.” 

“No you’re not.” 

Ted looks so done. 

Henry feels even worse now.

“Are you mad at me?”, he quietly asks. 

Teds expression softens. 

“No.” 

“Sure?”

“Yeah, I’m not mad, just concerned. You disappeared, we were looking for you.” 

“Looking for me?” 

“Of course. You’re drunk.” 

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to interrupt you guys.” 

“Who?” 

“You and Brianna. It looked rather intimate, I wanted to give you some room.” 

“So you just left and got stoned?” 

“I didn’t do it because of that”, Henry lies. 

“Yeah, of course not. But still.” 

Henry closes his eyes for a few seconds, because it’s hard to focus when everything keeps getting blurry and the room is just kind of rotating around him. 

“I think I drank too much”, he whispers for some reason. 

“You think? Darling you‘re gone.”

Henry chuckles, finding this funnier than he would if he was sober. 

He slowly lets go off the toilet bowl now, pushing himself away from it and flushing it. 

He manages to climb up to the sink and rinse his mouth before he sits down on the floor again because standing makes everything worse. 

The door opens and Frankie comes in, carrying a bottle of water and a bowl filled with various snacks. 

“This is all I could find”, she says. 

“It’ll do”, Ted says. 

Frankie closes the door behind herself and walks towards them. 

She opens the water bottle, before handing it to Henry.

Henry takes it on pure reflex but then just stares at it, for some reason incapable of understanding why she gave him that.

“Drink some of it, would you?”, Ted asks. 

“Okay”, Henry mumbles, before bringing the bottle up to his mouth.

He’s too wasted to drink water. Most of it just drips over his chin and onto his shirt.

Ted is just looking at him, the hint of a smile is gracing his lips.

Ted is perfect.

Henry lets the water bottle sink and dries his chin with the back of his hand.

“Better?”, Ted asks.

Henry shakes his head. He feels exactly the same.

“You should eat something”, Frankie says, sitting down next to them now. 

“I’m not hungry”, Henry claims. 

“We should get him home”, Frankie goes on.

It takes Henry a moment to realise that she’s not talking to him but instead about him. 

“I think we should give him some time to calm down. I can bring him to our dorm later, that’s closer“, Ted says.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” 

“Hey, he’s gonna be fine.” 

“I’ve just never seen him like that. I’m fucking worried.” 

“I’m like, right here”, Henry mumbles, having gotten sick of them talking about him in third person. 

“Are you sure you’re not hungry?”, Ted asks. 

Henry nods. 

The room is still rotating and Ted and Frankie are there twice. 

Henry just kind of crawls over to Ted, looking for comfort, probably. 

“I’m dying”, he mumbles, pretty sure that that statement is at least sort of true.

“No you’re not”, Ted says. 

Henry lays down on his back, resting his head in Teds lap. 

Ted puts his hand on Henrys forehead for a moment. It’s cold and that’s nice. Then he lets his fingers sink back, caressing Henrys hair. That’s even nicer. 

Henry hums quietly, closing his eyes now. 

“You good there, Hen?”, Ted asks. 

Henry feels Teds other hand cupping his cheek now and he turns his head towards it to press a kiss in his palm. 

“I love you guys”, Henry whispers. 

“Love you too”, Ted says. 

“Shit, is he really gonna be okay?”, Frankie asks. 

“Yeah, he‘s just drunk and stoned.” 

“Stoned?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Damn, Hen.” 

“Don’t tell mom and dad”, Henry mumbles. 

“They won’t be mad at you.” 

“But I’m embarrassed.” 

“Okay, I won’t tell them.” 

“You guys should go enjoy the party, I’ll be here.” Henry wants to be alone, somehow. So he can pass away in peace. 

“Are Bri and that guy still out there?”, Ted asks. 

“I don’t know”, Henry mumbles, even though the question was clearly not directed at him. 

“They went downstairs. Also that guy is Stu and he’s living here“, Frankie explains. 

Ted raises an eyebrow, looking at Henry now. 

“Wow Henry, you really went for the host, huh?” 

“Go big or go home”, Henry mutters, having listened only halfway to their conversation, too focused on Teds hand, still stroking his hair. 

Ted smiles, looking amused. 

He reaches for the bowl Frankie brought and places it next to himself, before taking a saltine cracker and pushing it against Henrys lips. 

Henry just eats it, mostly because it smells tasty and also, he’s hungrier than he admitted. 

There’s not much he can do really. 

Getting fed by Ted seems weirdly romantic and intimate to Henry in that moment. And Teds fingers just brushing his lips every now and then is nice too. 

So there he is, laying on a bathroom floor and letting Ted feed him various snacks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy we broke 100k!!!  
Is that really cool or what?  
anyways bc of that, I will do a double whammy weekend, the next chapter shall be up tomorrow


	50. Drunken Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry starts getting rather talkative and honest as Ted walks him to their dorm room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- intoxication

Henry calms down after about half an hour. The room isn’t spinning as much anymore, though Henrys brain is still rather dizzy. 

He sat up, his head is resting on Teds shoulder and his belly is filled with snacks. 

It’s funny, because this is pretty much how they sat earlier. 

Before Henry decided to be selfless and tell Ted to go to Brianna that means. Before everything went wrong. 

Frankie is leaning against the opposite wall, typing on her phone. 

“Want to leave?”, Ted asks into the silence. 

Henry nods, even though he’s not trusting himself to not throw up again. 

He doesn’t want to throw up in Charlottes car. 

And he’s not trusting himself to properly walk either, though walking seems like the smarter option in his eyes. 

Frankie looks up. 

“Yeah?” 

Henry nods again. 

“I just wanna sleep”, he says. 

“I’ll text Char, she said she can drive us”, Frankie says, in the process of getting up.

“Don’t you think walking is better?”, Ted asks. 

Frankie looks up. “I don’t know. How far is it from here?” 

“Just over the football field, then we’re almost there.” 

“I don’t wanna throw up in Charlottes car”, Henry quietly chimes in. 

“Yeah, that would be disgusting”, Frankie says. 

“Fuck you.” 

“Fuck _you_.”

“Can you walk?”, Ted asks Henry.

“Not straight”, Henry mumbles, smiling as soon as he notices the stupid pun, “but yeah, I think so.” 

“That‘s fine”, Ted says, “I can steady you.”

Ted carefully pushes Henry off his shoulder, in order to get up. Then he helps Henry up as well, wrapping his arm around his waist almost immediately. 

Frankie opens the door and Ted manoeuvres Henry through it. 

It’s harder to walk than Henry thought. He’s completely relying on Ted in order to not stumble against some wall. 

But Ted is all strong, holding Henry close, so it’s fine. He’s just holding Henry close in his arms. 

Henry loves Teds arms. 

Henry loves Ted. 

Henry loves this. 

He loves being _held_ by Ted.

They make it down the stairs with Frankie following them. 

When they leave the house, Emma, Paul and Charlotte are waiting for them. 

“Hey”, Charlotte says. 

All of them look worried. 

This is so embarrassing. 

Henry decides to throw a peace sign at them. 

Emma smiles. 

“How was it?”, she asks. 

“Not as good as your weed will be”, Henry says. 

“Duh.” 

“I can drive you”, Charlotte volunteers. 

Henry shakes his head and Frankie goes on to explain that Henry might throw up in Charlottes car and no one wants that. 

“Oh, well. I can drive you at least?”, she says, meaning Frankie. 

Frankie turns to Henry and Ted with pleading eyes and Henry just nods. 

“I’ve got him, go with her”, Ted says. 

Frankie smiles. 

Henry sets himself a reminder in his brain to ask Frankie what the hell is going on between her and Charlotte. They kissed, that’s for sure. 

“We can help you guys”, Paul says now. 

“I’m literally fine”, Henry says, still leaning in Teds arms like a dead fish. 

But to be fair, the reason for that is mostly his infatuation, not his intoxication. 

“I can just walk him, that’s fine”, Ted says. 

“Are you sure?”, Paul asks. 

Ted nods. 

Henry nods too. 

“Okay then”, Emma gives in. 

“I can drive you guys”, Charlotte says. 

Paul waves her off. 

“I drove us here and I didn’t drink anything.” 

“Okay, then it’s just us”, Charlotte says, reaching for Frankies hand. 

Frankie smiles even brighter. 

They say their goodbyes and off they are, leaving Ted and Henry. 

“Let’s go then”, Ted says. 

Henry wraps his arm around Teds shoulders as they leave. 

They round the house, heading for the football field. 

The boys are gone, to Henrys relief. 

The evening was already embarrassing enough. 

“What did you even drink?”, Ted asks after a few minutes of them stumbling over the football field towards the college buildings. 

“I don’t know”, Henry admits. Because if he’s being honest, he’s really not sure what that was. It was strong, that’s for sure. Maybe whisky or vodka. Henry doesn’t really know anything about alcohol. 

“Jesus Hen, know your limit.”

“Sorry, this was my first time.”

“It’s fine.”

“Also I still remember you being completely gone on my first night here.”

“Yeah, but I did that on purpose.”

“Why?”

“Bri had broken up with me like one day before that.”

“Oh shit.”

“Seriously Henry, be careful. I’m a shitty example for a good person.”

“You should be careful too.”

“I guess.”

“I mean it. I like you a lot, it would be a shame if something happened to you.” 

Ted smiles lightly. 

Henry keeps going. “Would be a shame for everybody. You’re not only really nice, you’re also eye candy.” 

Ted laughs now. 

“Hen-“ 

“Imagine not being able to look at you. I could never.” 

“God you’re drunk.” 

“No.” 

“Is this what you’re like when you’re drunk? Horny and full of compliments?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Is this how you got to Stu?” 

“I don’t know. He’s nice though, isn’t he?” 

“I don’t know, Hen, I didn’t really talk to him.” 

“He was nice to me.” 

“That’s great.” 

“Are you jealous?” 

“Why would I be jealous?” 

Henry shrugs. 

“I don’t know. I was a little jealous when you talked to Bri.” 

“What?” 

It’s quiet after that. 

It takes Henry a moment to realise what he said. 

“Nothing”, he just mumbles. 

“Okay.” 

They walk in silence again, until they reach the dorms. 

It’s not as easy, making it up the stairs. Somehow it’s insanely hard for Henry to figure out just how far he has to move his feet up. 

Ted sighs after a few stairs and just picks him up and suddenly Henry finds himself in Teds arms.

He looks down at the floor, kilometres away, then at Teds arms, all strong.

“Woah”, he mumbles quietly.

He’s never been carried like that. Or maybe never is an exaggeration. He‘s surely been carried as a kid, he just can‘t remember. Not right now anyways because his brain isn‘t working because of the booze and maybe just maybe because of Teds nearness as well.

Ted sets him back on the floor when they reached the right floor. 

Henry just keeps staring at him as he leads him through the corridor, completely mesmerised. 

They stop in front of their door and Ted lets go of Henry, leaning him against the wall. 

He fumbles his keys out of the pocket of his pants and unlocks the door. 

He leads Henry to his bed and Henry sits down, blinking in order to make the room stop spinning, because it started doing that again. 

“Shoes”, Ted says and Henry kicks them off.

“Okay do you want to change or-“

Before Ted can finish, Henry is peeling his T-Shirt off.

“Okay”, Ted mumbles, looking away now and around Henrys bed for his sleep shirt.

“What are you wearing at night?”

“Nothing”, Henry says. 

Ted chuckles. “We both know that’s not true.” 

He finds it now, pulling it out from under the bedsheets. 

“Arms up.” 

Henry sighs and slips into the T-shirt, Ted is holding open for him.

“Look at me”, Henry then says, moving closer to the edge of the bed and therefore closer to Ted.

Ted finally looks up into Henry’s eyes and Henry can lean closer and rest his forehead against Teds again.

He just stays there for a while.

He catches himself reaching for Teds arm, letting his fingers run over it. Then further up and into Teds hair, slowly grabbing and caressing it. It‘s soft. Gosh, it‘s so soft.

Ted just looks at Henry.

“Henry?”, he whispers.

There doesn’t seem to be a follow up question. It’s more like ‘What the fuck?’.

Henry lets his nose sink in Teds neck, closing his eyes.

“You smell perfect”, he whispers.

“You smell nice too.” 

Henry smiles, placing a kiss against Teds neck now. “Thank you.”

Ted carefully pulls Henry off himself. 

When Henry looks at him again, there’s a little smile on his lips.

And he’s pretty. 

Ted is the most gorgeous person Henry has ever seen.

“You’re hot”, Henry manages to say.

Ted hesitates. “What?”

Henry moves closer to Ted now, resting his forehead against Teds once again and bringing his fingers up to his mouth to touch his lips because they look so very soft.

“Shit”, Henry just mumbles, before he leans forwards a bit. 

Henry liked their kiss, he wants to do it again. Again and again and again. He wants to kiss Ted forever. 

Their noses rub against each other for a moment and then Henry looses his last bit of self-control.

Ted pulls away before Henry reaches him. 

“Don’t you want this?”, Henry whispers, surprised for some reason but obviously too intoxicated to actually think. 

Why would Ted want this?

“You’re drunk”, Ted says.

“No”, Henry says, even though he only sees Ted blurred because he’s really drunk.

“Yes you are. I’m not going to kiss you when you’re drunk.”

“Oh.”

“That’s not how consent works.”

“I guess.”

“Okay”, Ted whispers. 

“I’m not that drunk though”, Henry notes. 

“Yeah you are.” 

“I want you so bad.”

“Jesus Henry.”

“What?”

“You’re really blunt when you’re drunk.”

“Are you into that?”

“I’d like it better if you were sober right now.”

“Why?”

“Because then I’d know if you actually mean it.”

“I do mean it.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do.”

“No.”

“Would you kiss me if I wasn’t drunk?”

Ted hesitates now, avoiding Henrys gaze.

“Henry..”

“So you would?”

“Hen, you’re drunk.”

“I have feelings for you”, Henry blurts out.   


It’s quiet after that.   


Just overbearingly silent. 

“Go to sleep, okay?”, Ted eventually whispers. 

“We can just continue where we stopped earlier”, Henry tries to row back, “I’m sorry, I wish I hadn’t said that.”

“I wish you were sober but we can’t all get what we want, do we?”

“So you don’t want to continue?”

“No.”

“Oh.” 

“This is.. this is not fair, okay?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You can’t tell me stuff like this when you’re drunk. You can’t-.. how am I supposed to know if this is real, huh? It’s fucking rude, Hen.”

Henry hesitates for a moment, his dazed brain still trying to work out why Ted is so upset. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.” 

“I know.” 

“Sorry. ..I love you.” 

Ted smiles, a sad smile, not a real one. 

So Henry quickly goes on. “Sorry, that was mean, you‘re right. I‘ll tell you again tomorrow when I’m sober.”  


Ted lightly shakes his head. 

“Lets get you to bed?”

Henry manages to nod.

“Okay”, he whispers.

Ted gets up, leading him into the bathroom. 

He parks Henry next to the sink and reaches for his toothbrush, toothpasting it for Henry.

Henry leans against the wall, watching Ted as he wets the toothbrush for him.

“Here”, Ted says, holding it towards Henry.

Henry stares at it, trying to react.

“Come on, I’m not going to brush your teeth for you.”

Yes, no of course not. Because that would be weird. This has been embarrassing enough. Henry can throw any hopes of making Ted like him out of the window now.

His hand finally obeys and he takes the toothbrush and he brushes his teeth.

Ted leads him back into the room when he‘s done, closing the bathroom door.

“Please tell me you’re going to sleep now.”

“Okay.”

“Thank god.”

Henry starts to open his pants, fiddling with his belt.

“What are you doing?”, Ted asks.

“I’m not gonna sleep in my jeans?”

Ted turns around, mumbling a quiet “Jesus Christ.”

“It’s okay, it’s not like I’m not wearing underwear”, Henry says, feeling kind of sober now.

“Yeah, it’s just that you’re usually not comfortable undressing in front of me and I don’t want you to be embarrassed about it tomorrow, so I’d rather turn around.”

“Oh.” That is very considerate.

Henry fumbles himself out of his pants and looks around for his pyjama pants until he just gives up and slips into his bed anyway.

“You can turn around”, he says, as soon as he’s under the blanket.

Ted sits on the edge of the bed and carefully tugs Henry in.

“Sorry”, Henry whispers again, because Ted still looks tense. 

“It’s okay.” 

“No.” 

“Good night?” 

Henry gives up and nods lightly. 

“Good night.”

Ted reaches for Henrys hand. He hesitates for a few seconds, then he pulls it up to his lips and kisses Henrys knuckles. 

“Is that enough to satisfy your horny ass for now?”, he asks, in a joking tone.

Henry lets out the breath he’s been holding. 

Maybe Ted isn’t _that_ mad at him. 

He really hopes Ted isn’t. 

God he fucked up. 

“It’ll do”, he whispers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi I just wanted to say thank you?!?!? For still reading this? I love you guys and I’d hug every single one of you if I physically could (unless you don’t like hugs, in that case I would smile and nod at you gratefully)


	51. Fight Or Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry wakes up to a throbbing headache and the looming shadows of his mistakes from the night before

When Henry wakes up, he regrets that. Part of him immediately wants to be unconscious again. 

Needless to say, he feels like shit, especially physically. 

He pulls his blanket over his face because it‘s way too bright in the room. 

It‘s probably in the middle of the day, based on the amount of sunlight flooding in. 

The shower is running. 

Ted. 

That‘s when all of the memories from the night before slowly start running him over. 

He groans quietly as his will to live slips through his fingers. 

He regrets it. He regrets everything.

Of course he does. 

He lays there for a while, paralysed by his own stupidity, until the shower turns off. 

He listens to Ted leaving the shower, he listens to him getting dressed in the bathroom.

He has to admit, he’s really fucking scared of encountering Ted. 

Because Ted was mad at him the night before, wasn’t he? 

He was mad and he had more than enough reasons for that. 

Henry would have been mad too.

It’s understandable. 

The bathroom door clicks open and Henry quickly sits up, worsening his vertigo.

Ted notices him. 

He frowns lightly, watching Henry. 

“Hi”, he says. 

“Hey”, Henry mumbles. 

Then it’s quiet. 

Henry forces himself to slip out of the bed, because he needs to pee and he can’t bear looking at Ted anymore. 

Ted steps aside to let him pass as Henry tumbles into the bathroom. 

“Are you okay?”, Ted asks. 

“Yeah”, Henry utters, before he closes the door behind himself and locks it. 

He sighs, as soon as he’s alone again. 

He goes for the sink, mostly to have something to hold on to.

There’s that annoying headache, as if the day wasn’t already bad enough.  


It‘s just sitting there in his head and laughing at him maliciously, making his head feel like it‘s filled with concrete, all heavy and useless. 

Henry would have never guessed that it would be possible for him to fuck up everything in just one evening, but apparently he did manage to do just that.

It’s not like he didn’t notice the way Ted just looked at him. 

He didn’t look at Henry the way he used to. 

He looked at Henry like Henry drunkenly kissed him the evening before, like Henry kissed him and then left to make out with some stranger and then confessed his feelings for him. 

Henry takes a deep breath when he gets the sudden urge to dispose of his whole brain. 

He really did kiss Ted like that, didn’t he? He really went for it. 

He closes his eyes as he remembers it, recalling every detail. 

Good god, that felt so good, he can’t even deny it. He can’t even deny how much he wants to do it again. 

Maybe he doesn’t regret doing it as much as he should.

He regrets how he did it. 

He regrets the way he threw himself at Ted and he regrets how he behaved afterwards. 

But that moment. 

That short moment was heaven. 

He opens his eyes again, staring at his pathetic reflection in the mirror. 

There are the deepest, darkest circles under his eyes. He looks all puffy and tired. 

And his hair is a mess. 

He reaches up to fix it, at least a little, when he spots something dark below his collarbone. 

He pulls his T-Shirt down and leans towards the mirror to look at it. 

A hickey. 

No doubt. 

Like an actual hickey, not some kind of choking bruise. 

While he stares at it, he realises that he’s not even sure who gave it to him. 

It’s hard to recall the exact details. 

He remembers kissing Ted, then Stu. Ted is a little clearer, but Stu is just a blur. He’s not even sure how far he went with Stu.   
He just hopes he didn’t go further than he went with anyone yet.  
He probably did though and now he has a hickey.

He pushes his T-Shirt back up, feeling weird. 

A shaky sigh escapes him and he bites down on his lip when his eyes dwell up in tears. 

He blinks frantically still staring at himself until he remembers that he was going to pee.

He makes his way over to the toilet and while he pees, he realises that he’s not wearing pants.

He’s wearing underwear but that is the very least he could do.

He barely remembers undressing but he really hopes he didn’t do it in an attempt to seduce Ted. 

While he washes his hands, he tries to go over everything that happened the day before, so he knows just for how much he has to apologise to Ted. 

Maybe it’ll be okay. 

Henry can just deny everything. He was drunk and out of his mind. He’ll say that, it’ll be okay. 

He wouldn’t have said any of that stuff soberly anyway, even if it‘s all true. 

He eventually catches himself and washes his hands again, as well as his face in an attempt to wake up. 

He almost doesn’t want to leave the bathroom. 

Because Ted is outside. 

And Henry is really scared. 

— 

He does leave the bathroom, after staring at the door handle for a while. 

Ted wordlessly hands him a bottle of water and a small pill. 

“What is that?”, Henry asks. 

“It’ll help your hangover.” 

“Okay. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

The silence hurts. Never has Henry ever felt more uncomfortable.

He has a feeling that Ted feels the same, because the way he’s avoiding Henrys gaze doesn’t exactly ooze comfort. 

“I’m not wearing pants. I should put on pants”, Henry mumbles. 

Ted looks down on Henry. “Yeah.” 

Henry hesitantly puts the water bottle down on his table and goes over to his closet, slipping into a pair of sweatpants. 

Ted is just kind of staring out of the window and the whole situation is so weird, it makes Henry feel like they’re in the aftermath of a one night stand. 

They aren’t, thanks to Ted. 

They could have been, considering the way Henry acted the night before. 

“I’m sorry”, Henry finally says. 

Ted looks up. 

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s really not.” 

“Can you just.. explain?” 

“Explain?” 

“What happened yesterday? What happened to you?” 

“I got drunk.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know. I was lonely, I suppose.” 

“Because I went to Bri?” 

“It’s not your fault.” 

It really isn’t, it’s Henry’s fault. 

“Okay.” 

“I mean..” 

“So you weren’t jealous?” 

“No.”

“Because you said you were.” 

“Well I wasn’t.” 

“Okay.” 

“Do you.. uh..”, Henry rubs his eyes, trying to get a clear thought, “Do you know how far I went with Stu?” 

“You don’t remember?” 

“It’s just a little bit of a blur.”

“I mean, I don’t know. You were fully dressed when we came in though, so..” 

“Still fully dressed or fully dressed again?” 

“I don’t think you guys had sex.” 

Well that’s a relief. “Okay.”

“Jesus Christ, you were that gone?” 

Henry shrugs. 

“Do you..”, Ted hesitates, his face having gone kind of red. “Do you remember, uhm..?”

“Us kissing?” 

Ted nods. 

“Yeah of course I remember.” 

“What do you mean ‘of course’? You just told me you’re not sure if you had sex yesterday.” 

“I don’t know okay? But I remember.” 

“Do you remember what you said to me?” 

Henry blushes when he thinks about all the things he drunkenly told Ted. 

“That I have feelings for you?” 

“Yeah, that.” 

“..yeah.” 

“So?” 

“What?”

“Any comments on that?” 

Henry blushes even harder and decides to stare out of the window now. 

“I.. well, I.. there’s.. uh, no romantic ones?”

“Yeah duh.” 

“What duh?” 

Ted rolls his eyes. “I mean, obviously. I just want to know why the fuck you said that.” 

“I don’t know why I said that.” 

“You don’t know..” 

“Maybe I just.. you’re handsome Ted. I was intoxicated and yeah maybe I was a little attracted to you for a second there and maybe I over-interpreted that. It didn’t _mean _anything!” 

Ted nods lightly as Henry starts to regret his words. He almost can’t believe how easily he managed to talk himself out of it. He’s way too comfortable lying by now.

“Okay”, Ted says, “I thought so.” 

“Sorry, that was.. really stupid.” 

“Yeah, it was.” 

Henry feels like crying at this point. 

He just wants Ted back, he doesn’t want to fight with him. 

This feels like a fight. 

“I’m sorry I kissed you”, Ted says now. 

“What? But I kissed you.”

“No, you were drunk and.. you were really drunk and I just let it happen. I should have stopped it so much earlier.” 

“Why didn‘t you?” 

“Fuck, I don’t know.” 

“I‘m sorry that I just kissed you without asking first”, Henry goes on. 

Because he feels like apologising is a lot more of his duty than Teds. 

“It‘s okay”, Ted says. 

“No, I should have asked. I just kissed you.” 

“It‘s not like you shoved your tongue down my throat or something.” 

“I was kinda rough though.”

“A little rough.” 

Henry blushes. “I just-.. Are you okay? Despite me kissing you?” 

“I’m okay.” 

“Sorry for attacking you like that.” 

“I’m really okay.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Still sorry.” 

“No, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” 

Henry nods. “I’m fine.” 

“Sorry.” 

It’s quiet again, after that.

Henry hates this. 

Henry hates how this feels like they’re fighting. 

Maybe they are. 

But are they though? 

He’s so unsure. 

He just wants to hug Ted. 

He doesn’t, but he wants to. 

He feels like Ted wouldn’t want him to hug him, he feels like Ted is mad at him, despite him saying otherwise. 

“I should go home”, Ted says. 

“To your mom?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I.. me too.” 

“‘Kay.” 

“Thank you for bringing me here and everything.” 

“Yeah, I mean, of course.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Are you gonna be alright?” 

Henry nods. 

“Okay, because I should.. really leave.” 

“Okay, well see you.” 

“Yeah, see you.” 

Ted quickly collects some of his stuff, then he slips into his shoes. 

He turns back to Henry, after reaching for the door. 

He looks at him for a moment. 

And for a moment, Henry considers telling him to wait. He considers telling him he meant it all. 

“Bye”, Ted says.

Henry nods lightly. 

Then Ted leaves and the door falls shut behind him and Henry is alone. 

He takes a shaky breath. 

He doesn’t want to cry but it’s not like he has a choice. Soon the tears are suffocating him.

He should have told Ted. 

He should have said anything but the stuff that he said. 

It‘s not too late though.

He can still do it. 

Ted can‘t be that far. 

Henry quickly grabs his keys and goes for the door. 

Ted isn’t in the corridor anymore so Henry starts to run, towards the staircase. 

He can do it, he can still tell him. 

His heart starts to beat faster, just banging against his chest in a mix of fear and anticipation. 

His body slams against the handrail as he leans over it to see if he can spot Ted. He‘s really not that far. Just about one floor down. 

Henry is about to shout for him to wait up when he sees him put his phone to his ear, calling someone. 

“Bri?” 

Henry’s heart stops for a moment. 

“Yeah, can I.. can I come to you?”, Ted asks, “Like now?” 

Henry takes a step back from the handrail, in case Ted looks up. 

Henry doesn’t want Ted to see him cry, not now anyway. 

To his mom, huh? 

Henry doesn’t really care that Ted goes to Brianna. They’re friends after all. But the fact that Ted lied to him about it feels weird. 

It’s like he doesn’t trust Henry. 

He used to, right? 

He used to trust Henry. 

But apparently Henry managed to fuck up so bad that Ted doesn‘t even feel comfortable being honest anymore. 

It‘s really stupid, probably. 

Henry feels weirdly empty about it. Empty and guilty. 

He feels like he should feel more but he‘s also feeling so much, it’s nearly unbearable. 

For a moment he still considers following Ted anyway and telling him, even if it wouldn‘t matter. 

It would matter to Henry. 

He wants Ted to know, because he should know. And if there‘s even the slightest chance that Ted feels the same, Henry would hate himself for not making a move. 

He does hate himself already though and he can live with that. 

God, he’s such a coward. 

He can hear the door fall shut and knows that Ted left the building. 

He stumbles closer to the window, looking at Teds figure walking away. He’s still on the phone and he’s going rather fast. 

Henry is not surprised. 

He wouldn’t even be surprised if Ted literally ran away. 

Ted said he’s not mad but he also didn’t seem very fond of him. He didn’t seem eager to spend any more time with him. 

Henry can’t blame him. 

He gets it now. 

It makes so much sense, suddenly. 

He genuinely hopes Ted gets to be happy, as soon as he told Brianna everything and they’re back together. 

Ted deserves to be happy, he deserves more than a stupid friend who‘s in love with him and can’t grant him the opportunity to get back with the actual love of his life. 

— 

Henry gets home by bus because he doesn’t want to ask Frankie or his parents to come get him. 

When he gets home, he’s exhausted. 

Part of him wants to go right back to sleep. 

“Hey”, his dad greets him when Henry slips into the front door. 

“Hi”, Henry says. 

“Frankie got home at seven am. She’s still sleeping. What did you do?” 

“I uh.. slept in my dorm. It was closer.” 

“Smart.” 

“Frankie got home at seven am?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“You weren’t with her?” 

“No.” 

“Oh. I’m sure she’s alright, she can look after herself. Right?” 

He looks worried now. 

Henry nods. 

“I’m pretty sure she was with Charlotte, so..” 

His dad seems to relax at that. 

“Okay. ..Okay.” 

“Hey, I’ll lay down for a bit, yeah?” 

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“Not really.” 

“Okay. Good night.” 

“Night.” 

He manages to carry himself up the stairs and into his room. 

Mr. Humbugger is already occupying his bed and Henry quickly changes into more comfortable clothes before slipping under the blanket next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I just wanna apologise to everyone who thought they’re gonna confess this chapter, I’m very sorry, like really reaLLY sorry


	52. Henry’s Trying Ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Henry recovers from his hangover, he starts to regret a lot of things. Also Frankie tells him about her and Charlotte.

Henry fell asleep and only wakes up about two hours later when Frankie comes into his room. 

“Hey are you awake?”, she asks at a normal volume, waking him up. 

“No, leave me alone.” 

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, after yesterday.” 

“I’ve never been better.” 

She comes over to him and pushes him aside so he’ll make space for her. 

He gives in after a while and rolls over. 

She lays down next to him, looking at him. 

“So..” 

“What?”

“What the fuck?”, she sings quietly. 

Henry groans and turns away from her. 

“Are you really alright?”, she asks. 

“Yeah, great. I just have a headache.” 

“I can make you coffee.” 

“Why would you do that?” 

“Because I feel sorry for you.” 

“Gee thanks.” 

“Do do you want one?” 

“Yes please.” 

She gets up and leaves the room and Henry is positively surprised at that. 

—

She comes back about ten minutes later, not only carrying a coffee but also a bowl with pasta and a glass of water. 

“Is that for me?”, Henry asks. 

“Yeah, duh.” 

“I just wanted a coffee.” 

“You should eat something.” 

“Ugh.” 

“Dad made me bring you that. He’s worried about you.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“I didn’t tell him what happened but you do look like shit so I don’t blame him.”

“You’re so mean.”

“Sit up and eat something.” 

Henry sighs but he does force himself to sit up and he even manages to eat half of the pasta and drink the whole glass of water. 

He lays back into bed, balancing his cup of coffee on his chest and drinking from it every now and then while Frankie finishes the bowl of pasta. 

“What happened between you and Charlotte?”, he asks after a while. 

Frankie blushes. 

“What?” 

“Like I caught you making out. Don’t deny it.” 

“Yeah, we kissed.” 

“That’s all?” 

She shrugs. “I‘m not sure what it meant. We didn’t really talk about it.“ 

“Good god.” 

“We danced. And I was gonna kiss her, maybe, and as I leant closer, she pulled back, she was like ‘Let’s go somewhere else’.”

“So you did?” 

“Yeah. We talked for a bit and eventually we just kissed. It just happened.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

“It’s just kind of surprising. It happened so quickly.” 

“Excuse me, I’ve been flirting with her for weeks. I was about to give up because I thought she doesn’t like me.” 

“Oh.” 

“Bet you didn’t notice, you’re stupid anyway.” 

“Hey?”

“When it comes to stuff like that I mean.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You just went for it with some guy yesterday. Ted was right there.” 

“But Ted is just my friend?” 

“Well he looked hurt, don’t deny it.” 

Did he? 

If he did, then surely not because of Henry and Stu. It must have been because of their kiss instead. He felt guilty, that’s why.

“He didn’t look hurt because of that”, Henry therefore claims. 

“You say that like you know why he was hurt.” 

“Actually, I do. And it’s my fault but it wasn’t because of what I did with Stu.” 

“What happened?” 

“Nothing.” 

“What did you do to him?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Why did Brianna think you guys are dating?” 

“Because we told her we are. It’s a long story.” 

“What the fuck?” 

“She’s his ex, you know.” 

“Yeah, I heard. She’s so pretty though, shit.” 

“Yeah..” 

“Are you jealous?” 

“No?!”

“Is that why you got stoned?” 

“No, shut up.” 

“I just don’t get it.” 

“Ted and I had.. a fight. ..or something like that.” 

That’s at least somewhat close. 

He really, _really_ doesn’t want to tell her the truth. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“You guys can’t just fight, you’re inseparable.” 

“Well we did.” 

Why does he feel like crying now? 

He takes another sip of his coffee, trying to calm himself down. 

“Let’s talk about you and Charlotte. Dad said you got home at seven am.” 

He has to concentrate to keep his voice from shaking. 

Frankie hesitates, still watching him. 

“I don’t wanna talk about Ted, okay?”, Henry mumbles, “I already feel miserable. Please just distract me.” 

She nods lightly. 

“Okay. ..okay, uh.. We drove to the lake, Charlotte and me”, she says, “Neither of us wanted to go home, so we didn’t.” 

“The lake?” 

“We just sat on the hood of her car and talked for hours. Eventually it got too cold and we sat in her car instead. We kissed and.. yeah.” 

“And?” 

“Did other stuff, it’s none of your business.” 

“Oh. Okay. Damn.” 

“Yeah, we fell asleep, I guess. Charlotte woke me up eventually and told me she had to be home before her parents notice.” 

“You didn’t talk about it?” 

“No, but I think we’re in love.” 

Henry raises an eyebrow. “Oh?” 

“At least I am.” 

“I mean, she must at least tolerate you enough to kiss you so that is something.” 

Frankie smiles. “Shut up.” 

“I’m happy for you.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, duh.” 

“I hope you and Ted get your shit together.” 

“I think he’s mad at me.” 

“Oh.” 

“And I can’t even blame him.” 

“I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know what happened.” 

“Well I’m not gonna tell you what happened.” 

“Come on.” 

“No. I’d rather die.” 

“Fuck. So bad?” 

“Yeah, it was probably the worst thing I have ever done.” 

“Shit.” 

“He more or less fled the room as soon as I woke up.” 

“At least he stayed till then?” 

“I think he wanted to make sure that I’ll be fine. That’s just who he is as a person.” 

“Maybe he’s like.. in love with you though.” 

“No he’s not.” 

“Okay, just a thought.” 

“He’s always so caring, he’s.. I don’t even deserve him looking out for me.” 

“I hate how stupid you are.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Just go to him and kiss him or something, Jesus Christ.” 

“I don’t want to kiss him.” 

“Sure?” 

“Yeah. And I.. it wouldn’t even work.” 

“How do you know?” 

“I just know.” 

“Okay I’ll give up then.” 

“Okay.” 

“Get your own shit together.” 

“Okay.” 

“I’m gonna leave your room, this is depressing.” 

“See you.”

“Yeah.”

She gets up and leaves. 

And he’s alone again, alone with his thoughts and ready to self-loath for a while. 

— 

He doesn’t remember falling asleep but the next time he wakes up, it’s about five am. 

He stays in bed for a while, until he can’t bear it anymore. 

Then he gets up. 

He takes a quick shower because he can smell himself and it’s very much not the best smell. He puts on fresh clothes, comfortable clothes. The most comfortable ones he can find in his closet that means. 

He thinks about going back to bed for a while, but he’s wide awake and he doesn’t feel like going back to bed, because he’s just going to lay there and cry again and he doesn’t want to do that. 

So he climbs up into the attic instead. 

It’s not a creepy attic like in movies, though Frankie claims she saw a ghost up there once.  
She probably just wanted to scare Henry.

The attic is nice, actually, and Henry goes there way too rarely. 

There’s a big window in the roof that his mom insisted on. The wooden roof beams are painted, all differently. There’s a night sky on one wall and an enormous blue whale on another. 

Henry’s mom painted those. She even let Henry and Frankie help on some of it, though Henry gave up rather early, he never had a talent for painting. 

The whole attic is a place for his moms paintings, obviously. 

It’s full of canvases and Henry sees a new one standing on the big easel now. It’s a half done painting of Mr. Humbugger, wearing a crown and sitting on a throne. 

Henry smiles, because that’s such a mom-thing to paint. 

There’s a couch too, standing in front of the window. 

Henry sinks down on it, laying on his side and reaching for one of the pillows to hug it. He stares out of the window, as the sun slowly crawls up over the horizon. 

It was a bad idea, coming up there. 

Because watching the sunrise reminds him of when he did it with Ted. 

He closes his eyes when he remembers the way Ted held him. Teds breath in his neck and his warm chest against Henrys back. 

It was perfect. 

Henry should have never wanted more than friendship from Ted. 

He was too greedy. 

He should have just been fine with what they had. 

He really wishes he could go back in time and not go to the party instead. 

Everything would still be fine. 

He should apologise to Ted again.

Just to make sure that Ted knows that he’s really, really sorry. 

He doesn’t want to seem clingy but he also feels really bad about it and whatever he told Ted that morning wasn’t enough of an apology, in Henrys eyes. 

If he’s being honest, he wasn’t quite there for most of the conversation. He had that throbbing headache and his heart was racing and he was still trying to remember everything and Ted was just there, all distraught. 

Henry simply said what he hoped would make Ted feel better. 

It didn’t, apparently. 

He pulls out his phone in a sudden burst of confidence and inspiration and is about to call Ted when he realises that it’s not even six am and you can’t just call people that early. 

He decides to text instead. 

He hesitates before he starts to type. 

_‘I’m sorry, I know I fucked up. I don’t blame you for being mad, it’s understandable. I just want you to know that I did it because I’m in love with you.’ _

He doesn’t hit send. 

He just frowns as he rereads it. 

Then he deletes it all. 

“Idiot”, he mumbles to himself. 

Then he starts again. 

_‘I’m in love with you. I love you I love you I love you I lo’_

He deletes it, not bothering to even finish typing it, whatever finish there would be. 

He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment, then he starts again. 

_‘I’m sorry. What I did was rude and I clearly didn’t think about it. You have any reason to be mad, I don’t blame you. I didn’t mean to hurt you but I did and I know that. I just want you to know that I’m really really sorry.’ _

He lightly shakes his head before he goes to delete it as well. 

He hits send. 

It’s an accident, really. 

His heart stops beating for a moment, as the shock comes over him, paralysing him. 

He thinks about deleting the message but then Ted would still see that he wrote something and deleted it and he’s not sure what’s worse. 

The message or a message that there was a message. 

He decides that the second one is worse. 

Especially after going over the message and realising that it’s not that bad. 

At least he didn’t admit his feelings or anything. 

He sends another _‘sorry’_ to apologise for his stupid message or maybe literally everything else too. 

Then he proceeds to stare at his phone. 

Ted doesn’t text back. 

Of course he doesn’t, it’s not even six am. 

He’s probably still asleep, he must be. 

Henry waits for two hours, staring out of the window and scrolling around on his phone. 

He flinches when a message comes in. 

For a short moment of naivety, he genuinely thinks it‘s Ted. 

It’s just Frankie. 

_‘where r u?’ _

Henry sighs. 

He wants to scream. 

He texts back. 

_‘attic’ _

Then he drops his phone on the couch and buries his face in the pillow. 

Frankie comes up about five minutes later. 

“What are you doing here?”, she asks. 

“Nothing.” 

“Okay. Well I’m making coffee for me, do you want one too?” 

Henry nods. 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay.” 

She leaves again and Henry checks his phone, just in case there is a new message he didn’t hear. 

There isn’t one. 

Obviously. 

Ted doesn’t text him back for the rest of the day and at some point, Henry gives up waiting for a message.


	53. Charlotte~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte has problems at home and Henry is still waiting for a text from Ted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of abuse  
\- mention of homophobia

Henry gets his cast off, one day later. 

He’s relieved about it, he can’t deny that it got more annoying the longer it lasted. 

It’s weirdly freeing, being able to properly use his hand again.

Not that he can actually fully use it, not yet anyway. He has to make exercises, which kind of sucks in his opinion but at least he‘s getting there. 

Frankie doesn’t appreciate it as much as Henry does. 

He walks all the way into her room to show her his arm, free of a cast and she simply tells him to leave because she’s busy. She does it while typing in her phone, not once looking up. 

“You’re mean”, Henry says. 

“Sorry, your arm is cool”, she mumbles, still not looking up from her phone. 

“Is everything alright?” 

“It’s Charlotte. She’s kind of going through shit.” 

“Oh, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.”

“What? But-“ 

“If she didn’t tell you, I won’t either, okay?”, she just says and he nods and decides to accept that. 

What else is he supposed to do? 

She’s right, if Charlotte doesn’t want to tell him about her problems, then Frankie certainly doesn’t have the right to do just that. 

“Okay”, Henry says, “be careful you two.” 

Frankie just nods and Henry leaves the room. 

—

Frankie wakes Henry up later that evening. Or rather that night. 

She just pulls his blanket away and starts to shake him, whispering at him to wake up. 

He throws a glance at the clock on the wall and frowns when he sees that it’s about midnight. 

He pushes her off. 

“Fuck off. Let me sleep.” 

“No get up.” 

“Why?” 

“We have to go get Charlotte.” 

“What?” 

“It’s a long story, I’ll explain it in the car. Just please come with me, I don’t wanna go alone.” 

She looks genuinely worried. 

So Henry gives in and nods. 

“Okay.” 

He gets up and quickly slips into a sweater before following her outside. 

She’s just in her pyjamas too. 

It’a all dark outside and it’s raining like crazy. 

Henry is still half asleep as he slips into his shoes and follows Frankie outside. 

“You drive”, she says, pushing the keys in his hand. 

He does as she says. 

He just gets into the car and starts it. 

“Where?”, he asks when he realises that he doesn’t know where Charlotte lives. He doesn’t even know if she’s home. 

Frankie pulls up google maps next to him. 

“Just drive, I’ll tell you.” 

“Okay.” 

He starts to drive as she keeps giving him instructions. 

“Can you go faster?”, she asks after a while. 

“No, I’m already going too fast.” 

“Come on!” 

“What even happened?” 

“Her parents know she’s gay and now she sneaked out and has nowhere to go so we’re picking her up.” 

“What?” 

“That’s all I know, I’m sure she’ll explain further.” 

“Okay. Okay okay.” Henry nods lightly. “Okay.” 

He does drive faster after that. 

He usually never drives faster than the legal speed limit, but it’s in the middle of the night, they’re pretty much the only ones on the road anyway. 

And he doesn’t want to let Charlotte wait in the rain. He doesn’t want Charlotte to wait at all after going through _that._

Eventually he spots her on the sidewalk. She’s carrying a bag over her shoulder and she’s walking towards them. 

Henry slows down next to her and Frankie jumps out before he can fully stop the car. 

Henry carefully pulls over, pulling the handbrake too before he gets out as well. 

He’s completely drenched in rain in seconds, but he decides that he doesn’t care because now it’s too late for that anyway. 

Frankie and Charlotte are still embracing when he reaches them. 

Frankie is holding Charlottes face, just talking to her. 

Charlotte is crying, because of course she is. 

“Hey”, Henry says, but it mostly drowns out under the heavy sound of the rain. 

They look up. 

Frankie lets go of Charlotte as Henry comes in to pull her into a hug. 

She looks miserable. 

Part of him wants to go and just fight her parents. 

Frankie picks up Charlotte’s bag and carries it to the car, throwing it in the trunk. 

“Come on”, Henry says, letting go of her and leading her towards the car.

Frankie opens the passengers door and gestures for Charlotte to go inside, which she does. 

Henry gets in behind the wheel, quickly turning on the heat when all of them start to shake, drenched to the bones. 

Frankie sits in the back, leaning forward to hold Charlottes hand. 

“Thank you”, Charlotte says now, her eyes skipping between Henry and Frankie for a moment. 

“Hey, of course”, Henry says. 

She sniffles. 

“I don’t mean to bother or anything. I didn’t know who to call. Bill is still visiting his grandparents and-“ 

“You’re not bothering us, good god”, Henry quickly interrupts her. 

She nods lightly. 

“Sorry.” 

“What happened?” 

She shrugs. 

“Apparently Jodie Davies from church was at that party. She saw me and Frankie dancing and.. holding hands as we left together. She told her mom and her mom told my parents this morning in church.” 

“I’m so sorry”, Frankie whispers. 

“It’s not your fault.” 

“Did they hurt you?”, Henry asks. 

“My mom shouted at me for hours and she started throwing things and..” She sobs. “My mom gets violent sometimes. I’m not supposed to tell you that. It’s not often, just when she’s really mad.” 

“Char..” 

“I know. It’s wrong.” 

“You should tell someone.” 

“I can’t.” 

“That’s not okay, it’s-“ 

“I know Henry! I know that.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, you’re trying to help. Sorry. I’m just.. exhausted.” 

“How about we go home?” 

Charlotte nods lightly. 

“Your parents are okay with that?” 

“They will be”, Frankie ensures her. 

Henry starts the car and pulls back onto the road. 

— 

Their parents are still asleep when they come back. Of course they are, it’s like one am. 

They decide to go to sleep and deal with everything in the morning. 

They’re all exhausted anyways. 

Frankie and Charlotte disappear in Frankies room and Henry goes back to his own bed. 

He checks his phone again. 

Because that’s the stage of patheticism he reached by now. He keeps obsessively checking his phone in the hopes that there’s just one message from Ted, just _something._

And he starts to completely overinterpret the reason why there isn’t a message. 

Maybe his phone is broken. 

Maybe he had a horrible accident. 

Or _maybe_ (and this is the most likely one), maybe Ted just really fucking hates him now. 

Henry opens their chat once again. 

There’s two little check marks, showing Henry that Ted did read it. 

He read it and he didn’t reply. 

So he does hate Henry, right? 

That’s what this is.

To be fair, Henry never really cared about replies. 

He was always fine with people taking hours, even days for replying. He’s not a fast replier himself. 

But this is different. 

This is important. 

Every minute that passes feels like a punch in the gut. 

Henry overthinks everything. 

Everything he said and did on the party and the morning after. He overthinks his text. He even overthinks the fact that he double texted. 

He never gave a single thought to that. 

Ted and him could send each other fifty texts in a row without batting an eye. 

But now Henry feels stupid for double texting. Annoying and obtrusive, like he went too far. 

This is weird. 

He’s not like this, usually. 

He _swears_ he’s not like this. 

He turns his phone off and puts it in the drawer of his nightstand table, deciding that he should stop caring so much. 

—

Henry wakes up to the sound of clanging plates and a running coffee machine downstairs. 

He blinks at his clock and sees that it’s about 10 am, which is rather late for him to wake up to. 

He’s all sweaty under his blanket and decides to take a quick shower to fully wake up and cool down before going downstairs. 

Half an hour passed when he finally makes his way to the kitchen, because he got lost in thought and spent way too much time staring at the shower curtain. 

His parents are sitting at the table, as well as Frankie and Charlotte, just talking and laughing. 

Henry is almost taken aback at how cheerful Charlotte seems but then he realises that not everybody wallows in self-pity as much as he does, probably.

— 

Henry left his laptop in college. 

He knew this for a while but it never really bothered him because he didn’t really need it until now. 

But now he’s bored and all he wants to do is lay in bed and watch musical after musical in a sad attempt to feel better.

He ends up sitting at his keyboard, kind of just leaning on it and pressing the keys, playing the slowest scales ever. 

Charlotte knocks onto his doorframe, pushing open his door after about half an hour of Henry moping around like this. 

“Are you alright?” 

Henry nods. 

“Well this sounds rather dreadful.” 

Henry chuckles, a sad chuckle, and shrugs lightly. 

“Can you play something happy?” 

“I don’t know. What do you want to hear?” 

“I don’t know.” 

She sits down on his bed, letting herself sink on her back and staring at the ceiling. 

“Where’s Frankie?”

“Under the shower.” 

Henry decides to leave the keyboard alone and walk over to the bed, laying down next to Charlotte. 

“Hey Henry?”, she whispers after a while. 

“Yeah?” 

“I think I’m in love.” 

It’s quiet, soft but it seems very thought through. Like she planned on saying it like this, like she thought about how to say it for a while and eventually settled there.

Henry needs a moment to fully process her words, not exactly because he’s shocked but more because he didn’t really expect their conversation to go there. 

“Oh?”, is all he manages to fumble out. 

“I know it’s stupid to think about something like that right now. I just ran away from my parents I should.. good god, I’ll go to hell.” 

“No you won’t.” 

“I’m sure they think so.” 

“It doesn’t matter what they think, they’re wrong.” 

“I feel bad for running away. Do you think they’re worried?” 

“I mean, probably?” 

“I think my dad worries more than my mom. He’s nice, you know.” 

“Yeah?” 

Charlotte sits up now and looks at Henry. 

“It’s Frankie. The one i’m in love with.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“I thought so.” 

“How?” 

“I caught you kissing, so..” 

“Did she tell you what else happened?” 

“Sort of.” 

“Well, I.. I admit, I’ve liked her for a while. For longer than I wanted to admit to myself.” 

Henry can’t help but smile at that. 

“Okay”, he mumbles, watching Charlotte, looking deep in thought and kind of dreamy. 

“Are you mad?”, she asks. 

“Why would I be mad?” 

She shrugs. 

“I’m scared”, she just mumbles. 

“I get that.” 

“It’s like.. what am I even doing?” 

“You know maybe.. maybe this will make your mom realise that how she behaved towards you was wrong.” 

“I doubt it.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“She’s probably just mad. Which is understandable because I ran away. ..oh god I ran away.” 

“Hey”, Henry whispers, reaching for her hand. He pulls it into both of his and caresses it, in an attempt to calm her down. 

“It will be fine”, she says. 

“Hell yeah it will.” 

She laughs quietly. 

“Hey by the way, have you recovered from the party?” 

Henry smiles. “I’m fine.” 

“You were _gone_. I didn’t expect that from you if I’m honest.” 

“I didn’t expect that from me either.” 

“Why did you do it?” 

“I uh.. I just wanted to try it, I think.” 

“And?” 

“It wasn’t as fun as movies made it look and it got me into the most embarrassing situation i’ve ever been in so yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it.” 

Charlotte laughs. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” 

“Do you know what happened?” 

“Frankie told me, yeah.” 

“Ugh. I only remember half of it and it makes me wanna die.” 

“Was he cute at least?”

“Stu?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Very cute.” 

“I wish I had seen him.” 

“I can show you if we ever see him on campus.” 

“Okay, thank you.” 

Henry smiles. 

“You’re welcome.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like I honestly don’t know what to name these chapters anymore
> 
> Also heyey btw there‘s a discord for this fic now. If u want in, the link‘s pinned on my tumblr~  
everybody is very welcome to join!


	54. It’s Just Polyester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry drives back to college to get his laptop and Wilson but he gets disappointed instead (he also gets the laptop and Wilson tho like duh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:   
\- mention of alcoholism
> 
> Honey the Heather reference is for u <33

About two days later Henry decides to drive back to college and get his laptop after all. 

He also remembered Wilson and got scared that he dies, all alone in Henrys dorm. 

So he drives there, to get his laptop and to save Wilson. 

He didn’t exactly expect Ted to be there. He didn’t expect it so much that he didn’t even think about the possibility. 

Because why would Ted be there? 

There’s no reason for Ted to be there. 

Henry ran all the way from his car to the building, because it’s raining. Part of him planned to stay in his room until it dies down, though he drops that thought rather fast.

It’s quiet, after he barged in, out of breath and damp from the rain. 

Brianna is there, laying next to Ted on Teds bed and wearing his clothes, her feet resting in his lap. 

Ted’s sitting, his back leaned against the wall. 

They were talking until Henry opened the door. 

Now it’s quiet. 

“Hey”, Brianna says. 

“Hi”, Henry fumbles out. 

“Hi”, Ted goes quietly. 

It sounds forced. Like he’s just saying it out of politeness. 

“I just..” Henry points at Wilson before lifting him off his shelf. 

Brianna sits up, watching Henry. 

Ted doesn’t even bother anymore, he’s just staring at his hands, waiting for Henry to be done. 

“Are you alright?”, Brianna asks. 

“Yeah. Yes.” 

Henry puts Wilson down on his desk and reaches for his laptop, shoving it into his bag. 

He’s blushing and he knows it and that makes everything even worse. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to barge in”, he says. 

“You‘re not barging in, this is your room too”, Ted mumbles, sounding annoyed nonetheless. 

Henry frowns lightly at Teds tone but he doesn’t really dare to say something about it. 

He doesn’t want whatever this is between them right now to escalate any further. 

“Yeah well, I have to go anyway”, he just says, shouldering the bag and reaching for Wilson. 

“Okay”, Ted says. 

“Okay”, Henry says, going for the door. 

“It’s raining, don’t you want to stay for a bit?”, Brianna asks. 

“No, I’m in a hurry, actually”, Henry lies. 

Then he quickly leaves, before she can protest any further. 

He hurries through the corridor and down the stairs before he hesitates in front of the big door, staring at the rain crashing down from the sky. 

He quietly curses himself for having parked so far away before he starts to run. 

He runs out of breath rather quickly. It’s not as easy, running while carrying a laptop and a potted plant. 

He gives up eventually and starts to walk. Pressing his laptop against his chest, having wrapped his jacket around it. 

He spots a diner that seems to be open and doesn’t hesitate to go inside, instead of walking the rest of the way to his car. 

He’s fighting the tears at this point and is therefore rather thankful for the way the rain manages to hide that. 

He sits down in one of the booths, carefully placing his laptop and Wilson on the bench next to himself. 

It’s rather empty. 

There’s one other man, sitting at the counter and drinking a coffee while reading the newspaper.

“Dude!” 

He looks up and recognises the girl from the party, wearing a staff uniform and standing in front of him. 

Winona was it, if Henry remembers it right. 

“Hey!”, he says, trying to sound cheerful but he’s still kind of busy trying not to cry, so cheerful is not easy. 

“Henry, yeah?”, she asks. 

He nods. “Winona?” 

She smiles and nods as well. 

“Damn, didn’t expect to see you again, if I’m honest.” 

“Me neither. I didn’t know you work here.” 

He says it like he’s there often. 

Truth is, he’s never been to that particular diner. 

“Yeah, I started like a month ago so..” She makes a vague gesture. 

“Oh, cool.” 

“Yeah..” 

“Yeah..” 

“Do you want to order anything or are you just fleeing the rain?” 

“Just fleeing the rain, actually.” 

“Huh, yeah thought so.” 

“But a coffee would be nice?” 

“Like black?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

She leaves and he’s alone again. 

He brings his hands up to his face, wiping away the tears and the rain. 

Why was Ted so mean? 

He looked at Henry like Henry attempted to kill his dog. 

Henry almost feels bad for Brianna, because she was just in the middle of it, clearly trying to save the situation but failing miserably. 

Henry looks at Wilson now, spotting a purple glimmer in his earth. 

Henry sniffles quietly, reaching for the purple plastic bracelet. 

He completely forgot about it but there it is. 

Ted and him made a game out of trying to throw it around Wilson once, because they were bored and Wilson was right there and so was the bracelet. 

Ted made it eventually and then they just left it there. 

Henry laughs, a sarcastic, sad laugh because of course he would find this now and remember it all when everything comes tumbling down. 

He brushes the earth off it and slips it into the pocket of his jacket, mostly to put it out of his sight. 

Winona comes back about ten minutes later, carrying a tray. There’s a cup of coffee on it and a plate with a chocolate cake, which Henry assumes is for the other lonely man at the counter. 

He gets confused when Winona sets both down in front of him. 

“I didn’t order that.” 

“I know.” 

“So?” 

“Dude, you’re fucking crying. You deserve a cake.” 

“I.. okay? Thank you.” 

“I owe you one for trying to kiss you.” 

“Actually I owe you one for drinking all your booze.” 

“Whatever. Just take it yeah? We’re closing in an hour and then it gets thrown out anyway.” 

“Okay ..thank you.”

She just slips into the booth opposite of him. 

“How are you doing?” 

“Fine?” 

“Try again.” 

“I mean.. clearly not fine. Why are you asking?” 

“I don’t know. Thought it’d be nice.” 

“How are you?” 

“I’m okay. Looking forward to when my shift ends.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Nice cactus.” 

“Thanks, his name is Wilson.” 

“Cool.” 

Henry picks two spoons out of the cutlery basket and holds one towards her. 

“Do you want some?” 

“I’m not allowed to.” 

“But do you want some?” 

“Yeah, fuck it.” 

She takes the fork from him and they start sharing the cake in silence. 

“This is so good”, Henry says after a while. 

“Yeah right? It’s my favourite dessert here. Don’t go for the crème brûlée or the tiramisu, they’re fucking disgusting. But our cake is good.” 

Henry almost flinches at ‘tiramisu’. 

He ends up nodding, feeling weird about it all. 

They finish the cake and Henry remembers his coffee, downing most of it even though it’s still a little too hot. 

The bell above the door rings quietly when a new customer steps in and Winona looks up. 

“Oh”, she mumbles. 

“Huh?”, Henry whispers. 

“I shit you not, the prettiest woman I have ever seen just stepped in here.” 

“‘Kay.” 

Henry doesn’t really bother to turn around until someone taps him on the shoulder. 

“Henry?” 

It’s Brianna. 

Henry turns to her. 

She’s still wearing Teds sweater but her pants seem to be her own. They’re a pair of well-fitted jeans now, no longer Teds sweatpants that were rather big on her. 

“What?”, Henry asks, sounding harsher than he meant to and feeling bad about it immediately. 

“Oh, I guess I’ll leave”, Winona says, reaching for the empty plate and fleeing the scene. 

Brianna hesitates for a moment, then she takes in Winonas place. 

“You’re in a hurry, huh?” 

“It was raining.” 

“You just wanted to flee.” 

“So what?” 

She shrugs.

“I’m sorry”, she says. 

“What for?” 

“Shouting at you? On that party. That was.. I’m really sorry.” 

“You didn’t know.” 

“Still. I was so mean, I regret that.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“Ted told me everything.” 

“Okay.” 

“Just.. sorry”, she whispers. 

“So you.. uh, I assume you’re back together?” 

“What? No.” 

“No?” 

“Why would you think that?” 

“I don’t know. You’re wearing his clothes and-“

“Don’t know if you noticed but it’s raining like shit. My stuff just got wet.” 

“I see.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I mean you guys seem to care about each other a lot, it’s not far off to think that.. you know.” 

“You guys are close too and I don’t assume you’re boning.” 

“What?” 

“Like why do you care so much, huh?” 

“Sorry I asked?” 

“I’m just..” She sighs, rubbing her eyes. She doesn’t seem to plan on going on from that so Henry decides to keep asking, having found someone to finally give him some answers, even if they’re rather reluctant and lowkey annoyed. 

“On that party you guys were holding hands I thought..” 

“We held hands? How scandalous.” 

Henry blushes. “You know what I mean.” 

“Yeah, I remember. You know why we did it?”

“Why?” 

“Because he was fucking out of it. I tried to calm him down. He just started rambling about how you guys had a fight or something, he looked like he was gonna cry. I tried to help.” 

“You.. oh.” 

“You need to take a break man.” 

“I’m sorry?”

“I assume you were jealous?” 

“What? No!” 

“Huh.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“Tell him if you like him, I mean it.” 

“I don’t. Not like that.” 

“If you say so.” 

“Just.. I was just confused that’s all.” 

“What’s up with you guys anyway?” 

Henry shrugs. 

If only he knew. 

“You know Ted’s feeling like shit about it?”, Brianna goes on. 

“Didn’t think he’d care.” It sounds petty. Henry doesn’t like sounding like that. 

She sighs. “You guys should talk to each other.”

“That’s not easy.”

“Yeah, I know.” 

“I mean, I think he’s mad at me.” 

“I think he thinks you’re mad at him.” 

“What? Why?” 

“I don’t know. It’s not like he’s telling me stuff.” 

“He’s not?” 

“No, he’s ..Ted. He doesn’t talk about his feelings if he can avoid it.” 

“Oh.” 

“You know, me moving three hours away wasn’t the only reason I broke up.” 

“It wasn’t?”

“No, it’s just.. this is going to make me sound like an asshole. I loved Ted, yeah? I love him, it’s just.. he’s..” She sighs, looking for the right way to put it. 

“Rather withdrawn?”, Henry asks. 

She nods. 

“Like he never wants to talk about his feelings, he’s constantly pretending to be fine, it’s exhausting.” 

“Exhausting..?” 

“Yeah he’s clearly not _fine_. I wish he’d just say something instead of destroying himself by trying to please everyone else.” 

Henry nods lightly, unsure what he’s supposed to say to that. 

“What I’m actually trying to say is.. can you try and talk to him?” 

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me.” 

“I think he does.” 

“Is he still there?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Oh.” 

“But you.. I don’t know, maybe you could call him? You clearly mean a lot to him. Even though you’re.. apparently not dating.” 

Henry blushes lightly. 

“I mean I texted him a few days ago and he didn’t answer.” 

“Really?” 

Henry shrugs. “I don’t want to annoy him. If he wants to be alone then I’m fine with it.” 

“He doesn’t! He’s.. fuck, he’s so miserable since the party.” 

“Yeah and it’s my fault, I _know_, just-.. stop rubbing it in.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” 

“Do you know what happened?” 

“That you guys kissed?” 

Henry blushes and nods. “Yeah.” 

“Yeah he told me.” 

“So he does tell you stuff.” 

“It took a while.” 

“I fucked up okay? I know that. And he clearly doesn’t want to see me so I honestly don’t get what you’re trying to achieve with this.” 

She sighs and nods lightly. 

“I’m just scared. He.. He always avoids dealing with his problems and feelings until he breaks down and I don’t know, I feel like that’ll happen soon.” 

“What do you mean he breaks down?” 

“He just kind of.. It all gets too much, I think? He had a panic attack about it once but usually he just retreats and ignores everyone. He drinks a lot too, got that from his dad, probably.”

“Ted has a drinking problem?”

“I don‘t know if you can call him an alcoholic, not yet anyways, but he‘s on his best way to becoming one.” 

“Good god.”

“He once told me he likes how booze numbs his thoughts. And then I told him he needs a therapist and then we had a fight about it because he doesn’t want to admit that he genuinely needs help.” 

“I.. Okay, but I don’t see how forcing a conversation with _me _is going to help him.” 

“I just think he misses you.” 

“I don’t think he does.” 

“Okay.” 

“Sorry.” 

She shrugs lightly. 

“Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he’s really fine.” 

“Maybe, yeah.” 

“I should.. I should go home, my parents tend to get worried when I come home late.” 

“It’s only seven?”

“Yeah but the bus drives a shit ton of circles and detours so it takes like two hours.” 

“Where do you live? I can drive you.” 

“Oh, no, it’s fine.” 

“I don’t mind.” 

“Sure?” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“It’s near Sycamore?” 

“That’s actually not too far from me.” 

“Okay. Well then I wouldn’t mind.” 

“The bus schedules here kind of suck, I get it.” 

She laughs quietly. “They suck so much, I honestly don’t know who made them.” 

“Someone who never takes the bus, probably.” 

Henry downs the rest of his coffee. 

“Let’s go?”

Brianna nods and gets up. 

Henry shoulders his laptop bag and grabs Wilson. 

“Can you hold him for a second?”, he asks when he remembers that he still has to pay. 

She nods and takes Wilson, holding him to her chest and slowly walking over to the door to wait there. 

Winona is just kind of leaning on the counter and staring into the void, not showing any signs of coming over so Henry goes to her instead. 

He fumbles out some money to pay, pushing it towards her over the counter. 

“Rest’s for you”, Henry says. 

“Leaving already?” 

“Looks like it.” 

“Who is she?” 

“Uh.. a friends friend?” 

“Not your girlfriend?” 

“I’m still very much gay.” 

“Oh, yeah. Do you know if she’s single?” 

“I.. what?” 

Winona blushes. “Never mind.” 

“Oh my god!” 

“Shut up.” 

“I  thinkshe’s single?” 

“Into girls?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you.. would you give her my number if I wrote it down? She doesn’t have to call, just if she wants to.” 

“Sure.” 

“Yeah?” 

Henry nods. 

Winona quickly scrambles to find a piece of paper and a pen, scribbling her name and number down and adding a little heart. 

“Is the heart too much?”, she asks. 

“No, it’s very.. endearing, I’m sure.” 

“Okay.” She laughs nervously, folding the little note and pushing it towards Henry. “Thank you”, she mumbles. 

“No problem. See you?” 

“Maybe.” 

“‘Kay. Bye.” 

“Bye!” 

Henry leaves. 

Brianna is already outside, holding the door open for him. 

“What took you so long? Scored her number?” 

“Actually, it’s for you.”

“What?” 

Henry carefully takes Wilson from her and hands her the note instead. 

She opens it, reading it. 

“Oh”, she mumbles. 

“She said you don’t have to call if you don’t want to.” 

“No I..” She looks through the window at Winona who’s still standing behind the counter, waving awkwardly. “I will keep this. Just for.. you know. In case.” 

“Sure”, Henry mumbles, smiling at the blush covering her cheeks now. 

“Let’s go now?” 

Henry nods, leaving in the direction of his car. 


	55. The Comfort Of Being Sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody tells Henry to go talk to Ted

Henry is not in his best mood, the next day. 

He thinks about what Brianna said and he thinks about calling Ted but honestly Ted seemed fine without him and Henry isn’t exactly keen on loosing the last bit of dignity he still has. 

He’s mostly just moping around at this point. 

Charlotte and Frankie keep hanging out together and whenever Henry joins them watching TV or something, he sort of feels like he’s barging in on a date. 

Frankie said they’re not dating yet but they kiss sometimes and Henry is rather confused by that but he tries not to question it. 

They seem happy, so that’s nice. 

Henry retreated back into his own room, kind of having enough of socialising even if it’s just with his family and Charlotte. 

He wrapped himself into his blanket, watching Little Shop Of Horrors in a sad attempt to feel slightly better when the door opens. 

“Knock knock?”, his dad says, while also knocking on the door frame. 

“Dad the point of knocking is kind of that you do it before opening the door”, Henry mumbles, not looking up.

“It’s not like you’re doing anything in here, are you?” 

“I’d still prefer it if you knocked.” 

“Are you alright?”, his dad asks. 

“Yeah.” 

“We were gonna play monopoly, do you-“ 

“No.” 

“Okay..” 

He hesitates, still standing there. 

“Just leave me alone”, Henry mutters. 

He really didn’t mean to sound as annoyed as he ends up sounding. He regrets it almost immediately. 

His dads smile drops a little and he nods lightly. 

“Okay”, he says, before he leaves, closing the door behind himself. 

Henry sighs, feeling even worse now. 

He literally didn’t have a single reason to be mean to his dad of all people. 

He feels so bad about it that he starts to cry again. 

He’s been shedding a lot of tears recently, making the sky competition. 

It’s a rainy summer, which is a perfect display of Henry’s mood. It’s like the sky is crying with him, except it barely ever stops, not even to sleep. 

He gets up eventually, because his brain keeps replaying the look on his dads face. 

He goes downstairs, looking for him because he wants to apologise. 

He runs into him when he comes out of the kitchen, carrying a cup of coffee and Mr. Humbugger. 

“Oh hey”, he says, “I was gonna bring you these.” 

Henry just starts to cry again, at the sight of it. 

“Woah what’s wrong?”, his dad asks, setting the cup down on the nearest shelf and letting Mr. Humbugger escape so he can go and pull Henry into a hug. 

“Sorry”, Henry just says. 

“What?” 

“Sorry for snapping at you.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“No, I’m sorry I was mean. It’s not your fault I’m in a bad mood.” 

“It’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I really don’t.” 

“Because if you’re in trouble, I will do anything to help.” 

“I’m not in trouble and this is surely not something you can help me with.” 

“I can try!” 

“Dad, I-.. good god, this is so stupid.“ 

“I’m sure it’s not.” 

“Yes it is.” 

“You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.” 

Henry sighs quietly and nods. 

He pulls back from the hug, drying his face with the sleeves of his shirt. 

“It’s a boy, okay?”, he mumbles. Mostly so his dad stops worrying.

“A boy? Did he hurt you? I can-“

“No, fuck, Dad-.. I’m in love.” 

He blushes at his own words and the surprised look on his dads face. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Do I know him?” 

“No you don’t”, Henry lies, “And it doesn’t matter anyway because he doesn’t feel the same. I’m just.. hurt. But I’ll get over it, so please don’t worry.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have let it out on you.” 

“If you want to talk-“ 

“I don’t. ..I think.” 

“I can supply dating tips!” 

“I love you but no thanks.” 

“Huh, okay.” 

“Anyways thank you for the coffee.” He grabs it and turns to go back upstairs. 

“If you have any questions, I will do my best to help.” 

“Uh, sure. ..thanks.” 

“You’re welcome!”   
  
Henry nods lightly, before he leaves for good.

— 

Henry spends the next few days exactly the same. He stays in his pyjamas the whole day and he only showers whenever he starts to smell himself or Frankie reminds him to do it. 

Eventually, Bill and Chad visit. 

Bill got back from his grandparents about a day before that and he and Chad were near, apparently having spent the day at the movies together. 

Bill is the one who asks if they can drop by, mostly because he wants to see Charlotte and make sure she’s okay. 

Henry even changes out of his pyjamas into a pair of sweatpants and a clean T-Shirt. 

They get there earlier than anticipated. 

Henry is still in the garden because his mom made him go sit outside. Apparently he’s so pale that he looks like a vampire and fresh air never hurt anyone. 

Henry did it but just to calm her down. She keeps looking at him all worried and he doesn’t want her to be worried. 

He’s just sitting on the wooden canopy swing his dad and Frankie once built, staring at the ground. 

Henry doesn’t really hear Bill and Chad arrive but eventually Chad comes up next to him. 

“Hi!” 

Henry smiles at the sight of him, feeling slightly happier all of sudden. 

He gets up to hug him.

“Hey! How are you?” 

“I’m good! Even great actually.” 

“That’s nice.” 

“How are you?” 

“Yeah, uh.. great as well.” 

Chad frowns lightly, probably seeing through Henrys obvious lie. 

“How was your day?”, Henry quickly goes on in an attempt to distract from the fact that he’s a wreck. 

“It was nice. I mean I spent it with Bill so..” 

“Like as a date?”, Henry asks when he sees the dreamy smile on Chads lips. 

Chad blushes. “No! I mean I don’t think so.” 

“Oh okay.” 

“I mean, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.” 

Henry smiles. “You’re pretty sure?”

“Oh god what if it was? Should I have taken his hand or..” 

He stops, staring at the grass now, seemingly thinking. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to unsettle you”, Henry says, feeling bad about the whole crisis he started in Chad by asking. 

“It’s okay I mean..  I wouldn’t mind either, so it’s fine, right?”

“Yeah, totally.” 

“I’ll ask him.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry slowly lets himself sink back down on the swing, patting the free space next to himself. 

Chad sits down, leaning into it. 

“What have you been up to?”, he asks, his gaze fixed on the sky. 

“Uh.. nothing?” 

It’s almost embarrassing how much stuff Henry didn’t do. 

“Yeah? Tell me about the party.” 

Henry blushes. 

“You.. heard?”

Chad looks at him, nodding. 

“You got drunk and had a thing with the rich dude living there. Uh.. Stu?” 

“Good god.” 

“Is that not true?” 

Henry shrugs. 

“It ended before it even really started so I don’t know if you can call it a _thing_.”

“Are you okay though?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You were really drunk, I mean..” 

“Oh. Yeah, no, I’m fine. Both of us were pretty much gone, we just kind of kissed for a while. I think we wouldn’t have gone further even if no one barged in.” 

“Okay. ..that’s good.” 

Henry nods lightly.

“Yeah.” 

“He was alright then?” 

“Yeah, he was really nice actually.” 

“I mean he’s really handsome too.” 

“You know what he looks like?” 

Chad nods. 

“Just saying, I get it. Everybody’s so confused about why you did it but honestly just look at the guy. I get it.” 

Henry laughs quietly. 

“It’s like damn Henry”, Chad whispers. 

Henry smiles. “Shut up.” 

“Do you have his number?” 

“No.” 

”Fuck.” 

“I don’t.. I don’t know if I’d want it.” 

“I think you should go for it.” 

Henry laughs, shaking his head. 

“I’m rather reluctant to believe that he’d even give me his number, after everything that happened.”

“Was it that bad?” 

“It was so embarrassing.“ 

“Shit.” 

Henry smiles wearily and nods. 

“Shit”, he mumbles. 

“Are you really alright?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.” 

“It’s just that you seem very sad.” 

Henry shrugs.

“Ted and I had a fight, that’s all.” 

“Oh? What happened?” 

“Let’s just say I was drunk and did and said some really stupid things.” 

“Oh.” 

It’s quiet for a while and Henry spends most of that time blinking against the tears. 

“You’re like really fucking deep in love with him aren‘t you?”, Chad eventually asks. 

His voice is all soft and careful, like he’s hesitant to even say it. It’s so blunt, serious. It’s not like the playful mockery from Frankie, it’s a genuine question. A question that he already knows the answer to. 

Henry’s heart grows heavy, beating almost hesitantly, like someone slowed the time. 

He thinks about denying it. 

But it’s Chad and he asked so genuinely. Henry trusts him, he’d trust him with his life. 

“Promise you won’t tell anyone”, Henry says, “Especially not Ted.”

“Of course I won’t.”

“Thank you.” 

“So it’s true?” 

“You know it is.”

“Yeah, I’ve suspected it for a while. When you look at him your eyes get all sparkly.” 

“Oh.” 

“It’s quite cute, actually.” 

“Do you think the others noticed it too?” 

“Maybe? I don’t know. Ted sure didn’t.” 

“Or he did and that’s why he’s avoiding me. Maybe this is his way of telling me he’s not interested.” 

“He’s full on avoiding you?” 

“We kissed.” 

“Wait what?” 

“On the party.” 

“_What_?”

“Yeah..” 

“Was that before or after you went to Stu?” 

“Before.” 

“But you were already drunk?” 

“Yeah, that’s why he ended it.” 

“But he wasn’t drunk?” 

“No.” 

“He kissed you and he wasn’t drunk?” 

“I kissed him, actually. He reciprocated though. And the second time he kissed me.”

“The second-.. How many times were there exactly?” 

“I don’t know. You know when you kiss so much that the lines between isolated kisses blur together and you sort of loose count? Yeah that. We did that.” 

“You.. did that.” 

“Stop judging me. Please.” 

“I just don’t get why you had a fight about it? Like why aren’t you dating now?” 

“He walked me home after the whole Stu thing. And I told him I’m in love with him and he got mad and said I can’t tell him stuff like that and so on. And the next morning he was all weird so I tried to save the situation and told him I didn’t mean any of it and then he suddenly had to leave.” 

“You didn’t see him after that?” 

“Only once. He was all distant. Bri was with him and I just.. The way he behaved towards me made me feel like he wanted me to leave.” 

“Oh.” 

“I even texted him and he just didn’t answer.” 

“Can I read?” 

“Uh, yeah. I guess.” 

Henry fumbles out his phone, opening the chat and handing it to Chad. 

He quietly reads it, then he nods lightly, then he frowns. 

“That’s good, why didn’t he answer?” 

“He probably hates me.” 

“No he doesn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Well he.. you guys are inseparable. I can’t imagine he’d suddenly hate you.” 

Chad is the second person to describe them as ‘inseparable’. And if Henry’s being honest, it really hurts at this point. He just wants Ted back. 

Henry sighs and leans back, making the swing sway lightly. 

Chad moves over, reaching for Henrys hand and resting his head on Henrys shoulder. 

“It’ll be okay”, he says, “maybe it’s just a big misunderstanding.” 

Henry drops his head on Chads and closes his eyes for a moment, feeling a little too exhausted for the fact that he was the opposite of productive in the past days. 

“I don’t know what to do”, he just says. 

“Talking to him would be a start.” 

“No thanks, I’m already feeling humiliated enough.” 

“So does he, maybe.” 

“He wouldn’t pick up if I called him, I just know it.” 

“Go to him then.” 

“I don’t know where he is. I’ve never been to his moms place.” 

“Where who is?” 

Henry flinches and looks up to see Charlotte, followed by Bill.

“Uh.. Ted.” 

“Oh, I know”, she says. 

“You know?” 

“Yeah, remember when I went back to college to get fresh clothes? He was there, we talked for a bit. He actually lives there right now.” 

“He.. why?” 

“Had a fight with his mom I think.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah..” 

“How was he? How did he look? Is he alright?” 

“You should ask him that.” 

“No.” 

“You’ve been moping here for days, it hurts to see you like that.” 

“Wait what happened?”, Bill chimes in.

“Ted and Henry had a fight and now they’re not talking anymore”, Chad explains. 

“What? No! You guys are inseparable.” 

Henry forces a smile and shrugs lightly. 

“I agree though”, Bill goes on, “talk to him.” 

Henry nods. 

He knows they’re right. 

He knows that. 

Maybe he’s just too proud to admit to Ted how much he misses him. 

A really petty part of him still thinks that the next move should be Teds. Henry already tried, didn’t he? 

“Okay”, he gives in nonetheless, because he knows he’s being childish, “Okay, I will.” 


	56. My Heart Is A Dark Polar Block, Dear (No One Comes Near)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Henry talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of alcohol

Henry spends another week not talking to Ted. 

Charlotte forces him to drive to college and get his shit together eventually. 

Being sad is a lot more comfortable than making an effort, apparently. It’s so much easier to mope around in a cloud of self hatred and regret than it is to leave that cloud of sad comfort and make yourself vulnerable. 

Henry is scared. 

Like really scared. 

What if he says something wrong and actually ends up loosing Ted forever? 

He knows himself, he doesn’t trust himself to find the right words. 

He keeps considering to turn around or just pull over and get a milkshake instead, as long as he’s still in the car. 

Then he’s out of the car and inevitably moving towards the dorms. 

Then he’s walking up the stairs, his legs shaky. 

Then he’s in the corridor and his vague suspicion that he’s making a mistake gets verified. 

He runs into Dean, of all people. 

He has his shirt buttoned wrong, that’s somehow the first thing Henry notices. 

Dean completely froze upon seeing Henry and Henry freezes upon Dean freezing. 

It’s so suspicious. 

There’s no reason for Dean to blush and stutter out apologies, but he does just that. 

Henry frowns, thinking about what to say, thinking about asking for clarification, maybe. He’s so confused. 

Then the door to their room opens and clarification comes rather quick.

“Dean?”, Ted asks, before he sees Henry. 

Then he stops in his tracks as well. 

There’s never been a silence more uncomfortable. 

“Yeah?”, Dean eventually asks, ripping his gaze of Henry and turning to Ted, slowly. 

“You forgot your phone.” Ted holds it out to him. 

“Oh”, Dean mumbles, quickly making his way back to Ted and grabbing it. “Thanks.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I have to leave.” 

He just flees. 

He pushes past Henry and then he’s gone, leaving Henry and Ted behind. 

Ted is still standing in the doorway, his eyes sitting right on Henry, while Henry works really hard on avoiding that gaze. 

“You’re dating him now?”, Henry fumbles out eventually. 

He’s so hurt, he barely manages to hide it. 

“No”, Ted says. 

“No..”

“That’s not.. it doesn’t mean shit.” 

“I see.” 

“It’s not like it’s any of your business anyway.”

“Who broke your heart now? Brianna again?” 

“I’m over Brianna.” 

“Are you?” 

“Yes!”

“Who is it then?” 

“No one. Can’t I just be horny for no reason?” 

Henry shrugs. “You didn’t have to do it in our room, that’s all.” 

“I can do what I want.”

“Yeah, if you ..stay on _your _side.”

“I am!”

“Good!” 

“Can we not fight on the corridor?” 

“We’re fighting then?” 

Ted shrugs. “I don’t know?” 

“Well you’re an idiot.” 

“Am I now?” 

“Did you just break up with me?”

Ted frowns. “We were dating?” 

“No but.. no. You told Dean we broke up?”

“Oh, yes. I did that.” 

“Just to get into his pants again?” 

“Why do you have to be so judgemental about it?” 

“I’m not judgemental!”

“Yeah you are.” 

“No I’m not.” 

“Jealous then?” 

“Good god, are you so full of yourself?” 

Henry is jealous. Oh god, he’s so jealous.

“I mean-” 

“I’m not jealous! Honestly, the last thing I want to do is sleep with you.” 

“Well good! I don’t want to sleep with you either.” 

“Good!”

It’s weirdly quiet after that. 

The words keep replaying in Henrys head for some reason, making him completely loose track of their previous conversation. 

What would he give to be able to just kiss Ted right now? Just kiss him. Just grab his face and press their lips together and kiss him. 

Maybe then Henrys heart would stop beating so fast, just from the thought of doing it. 

Henry could just take a few steps closer, then he’d be close enough.

But Ted wouldn’t kiss him back, would he? He wouldn’t. 

But if he would, they could just go back to their room and- 

Henry stops himself there. 

Ted is still staring at him and Henry blushes, when he realises what he’s wishing for. 

Henry doesn’t even want to go to their room. 

It’s the same room Ted and Dean just screwed in, Henry really doesn’t want to be there right now. 

“Why are you even here?”, Ted asks, quietly. There’s a hint of annoyance in his voice again and it makes Henrys heart feel heavier. 

“I wanted to talk to you.” 

Ted scoffs quietly. 

“Sure.” 

“I texted you.” 

“Yeah you did.” 

“Why didn’t you answer?” 

Ted shrugs, avoiding Henrys gaze now. 

“I’m sorry, were you too busy getting your dick wet?”, Henry goes on. 

“Oh shut up.” 

“I will if you tell me what’s going on.” 

“Nothing’s going on.” 

“Well _something_ is wrong with you.” 

Ted laughs. Not sincerely, not happily. It’s like a sad scoff with a hint of tragic amusement. 

“Probably”, he says. 

“Do you need help?” 

“No.” 

“I’m here, you know.”

“Well I don’t wantyou to be here.” 

“What?” 

“You heard me.” 

“I won’t leave.” 

“That sucks for you.” 

“Brianna said you’re not okay.” 

“Brianna says a lot of things. I’m splendid.” 

“You’re not drunk, are you?” 

“Why would I be drunk?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Well I’m not. You should leave.” 

“I won’t.” 

“Aren’t you a fucking saint.” 

Ted turns back to the door that’s still open, leaning in the frame and waiting for him to disappear in it. 

“Wait!”, Henry says, hurrying towards him now. 

“Henry-“ 

“Are you just going to get back to ignoring me?”

Ted turns back to him. “Maybe, yeah.” 

“Don’t.” 

“Listen, I didn’t _mean_ to ignore you.” 

“You didn’t-“ Henry scoffs in disbelief, his sadness growing into anger. “Are you hearing yourself? It’s not that hard to text back or to.. talk to me?” 

“Yes it is!” 

“What did I do to you?” 

“Don’t you get it? You destroyed everything we had.” 

“I was drunk! I didn’t mean to!” 

“Were you? Or do you just enjoy playing with peoples feelings?” 

“I don’t.. I didn’t enjoy any part of that evening.” 

“Good to know.” 

“Listen, _you’re_ destroying this right now.” 

“This?” 

“Us.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “What us?” 

“Can you stop being mean for one second?” 

“No.” 

“Why are you like this?” 

“Like what?” 

“Mean. You’re so mean for literally no reason.” 

“Got it from my dad.” 

“You can do better than him and I know it.” 

“Maybe this is who I am.” 

“Maybe it is.” Henry sighs. “The worst thing is that I should have known. You were like this from the beginning.” 

“Don’t be so surprised then.” 

“I’m not. Apparently all you know to be is an asshole. That hasn’t changed.” 

“That’s still better than being some ..spoiled, self absorbed theatre kid.” 

“I‘m not-“ 

“It always has to be about you, doesn’t it? You don’t even notice.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s always.. making sure Henry’s okay, making sure Henry’s comfortable. Let’s all listen to _Henrys _problems, he sure is going through a rough time.” 

“Mason wasn’t my fault.“

“This isn’t about him. This is about you. You act like you’re the fucking protagonist! Why are you really here? Just for yourself.”

“I’m here because I missed you.” 

“That sounds like a you problem.” 

“Well I came all the way just to run in on you screwing _Dean_.” 

“Now that’s literally not what happened.” 

“It basically is.” 

“Shit, you’re so.. pretentious.” 

“_I’m_ pretentious?” 

“Yeah you are!” 

Henry stops for a moment, not wanting to let his anger out on Ted. 

“Are you really mad at me?”, he asks, his voice breaking. He worked so hard to keep it steady but there it goes.

“I have every right to be mad.” 

“Well so do I.” 

“Are you then?” 

“What?” 

“Mad?” 

“I don’t know. We’re adults, why can’t we just talk about it?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Can we.. not talk about it together at least?” 

“No.” 

“I..” miss you, he thinks. I miss you and I love you and I just want you back. Please please please please please please. 

Ted is so calm. It’s infuriating. 

Henry is on the verge of tears and his hands are shaking and the fact that Ted doesn’t seem affected by this whole conversation makes Henry angry, somehow. 

It’s like it all just moves past him. 

He’s just standing there, with a heart that’s not torn to pieces and his gaze empty. 

Henry takes a breath, trying to stay calm. He doesn’t want to fuck this up, he doesn’t want to loose Ted. 

“You really hurt me, do you get that?”, he asks. 

“Why don’t you leave then?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Want me to make it easier for you?” 

“Don’t be an asshole now.” 

“I can’t help it, that’s all I know to be.” 

“You know, I’m not even surprised you had that fight with your mom. I get her.” 

Ted stops, his eyes growing narrower. 

“What?” 

Henry hesitates, knowing very well he went to far. 

“You don’t know what happened”, Ted says, “You don’t know shit about me.” 

“I know you can be nice, if you want to.” 

“Maybe I don’t want to anymore.” 

“Ted please.” 

“I’m sorry I was mean to _you _for _no_reason whatsoever. But I can’t do this right now so if you’ll excuse me.”

He reaches for the door, pushing it open to leave Henry alone.

Henry panics.

He hurries forward and reaches for Teds wrist, pulling him back.

“No”, Henry says.

“Can’t you just leave me alone? Is that too much to ask?”

“I might loose you if I do.”

“So what? You’d be fine.”

“No.  You can’t just push me away when things get complicated.”

“God, I wish I had never befriended you”, Ted mutters.

Henry hesitates.

“What?”, is all he can bring himself to ask. 

He’s hurt. Of course he is.

Ted looks up.

“You never listen, do you?”

“Yes I do!” 

“You only ever hear what you want to hear.”

“You can always talk to me.”

“Can I?”

“Yes.”

Ted scoffs and shakes his head.

“But I don’t want to talk. I want to be alone.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes I am! Is it so hard to understand that I don’t want you to be here right now?” 

“Ted-“ 

“Stop treating everybody like they need your help! No one fucking does! No one cares and no one needs you.”

“That’s not-”

“Listen,  I don’t need you. And I don’t care either.”

It’s quiet after that. 

The tears are burning in Henrys eyes and he fails to keep the quiet sob in when it breaks through his chest. 

He lets go of Teds wrist and stumbles back a few steps. 

“That’s how you feel about me?”, he asks. 

Ted hesitates, seemingly noticing that he went too far. “I-“

“No. At least now I know.”

“Henry..”

“Fuck you.” 

Ted flinches a little. 

Henry doesn’t care. Ted hurt him and he did it on purpose. A part of Henry wishes it was an accident. That Ted didn’t know his words would end up going there. But he knew exactly what he was doing and Henry knows that. 

“Fuck .._this_”, Henry goes on, “If you don’t want me in your life then congratulations, I won’t bother anymore.” 

He doesn’t want to cry, not in front of Ted. He doesn’t want Ted to see how much he hurt him.

So he turns around and leaves. 

Ted doesn’t stop him and Henry is glad about it.

— 

Henry is full on crying by the time he leaves the building. 

He knew this was a mistake. 

Deep down he knew this would happen, he knew it would go all wrong and he’d loose Ted. 

But if Ted can’t even stand him, maybe it’s for the better.  
His words seemed so determined and real, like he thought this for a while. 

A part of Henry isn’t even surprised. The insecure part, that thinks all of his friends secretly hate him _knew_ this was coming. 

He stumbles into some kind of direction and sits down on the nearest bench, clutching his chest as he tries to calm down and properly breath again. 

He sobs, wishing it wouldn’t hurt so much. He wishes he could be as calm as Ted. Ted doesn’t care, he made that rather clear. 

Suddenly Henry gets what Ted meant on that dock when he said he wishes he could rip out his heart and live without it. 

It hurts so much, it just _hurts _like hell, worse than hell even. 

He sits there and cries for a while. 

He doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn’t want to go home, because Frankie and Charlotte will be there and they will ask him how it went and then he will cry again. 

“Oh man, again?” 

Henry looks up to see Stu. 

“What?”, he fumbles out. 

“Every time I see you, you’re crying.” 

“I’m sorry?” 

“No, I.. shit, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, sorry, just forget it.” 

Henry quickly gets up and starts walking. Stu follows him, walking next to him. 

“What are you doing?”, Henry asks. 

“I need to go in that direction too.” 

“No you don’t.” 

“Listen, I just.. I don’t feel like it’s a good idea to leave you alone right now. Do you want me to call someone for you?” 

“No, I’m fine.” Henry stops walking now, taking a deep breath and wiping the tears off his cheeks. He looks at Stu, forcing a smile, before he repeats: “I’m fine.” 

“That’s the least credible smile I‘ve ever seen.”

“Oh shut up, I really tried.” 

“I’m sure you did.” 

“Listen, I just lost my best friend, I’m allowed to cry.” 

“Honestly fuck him.” 

“What?” 

“I mean, what an idiot? If he makes you cry like this, he doesn’t deserve for you to cry for him.” 

“I.. I suppose. That doesn’t make it hurt less though.” 

“Yeah, I get it.” 

“Have you ever been in love?” 

“Of course.” 

“What happened?” 

“He didn’t feel the same. It hurt like shit, but I’m over it now.” 

“When was that?” 

“Like.. three years ago? I was nineteen.” 

“You’re twenty two?” 

“Yeah. ..How old are you?” 

“Twenty.” 

“Oh. .._Oh_. We gave you alcohol!” 

“It’s fine.” 

“Shit.” 

“I’m sure you drank before you were twenty-one too.” 

“I did but still.” 

“Everyone does, don’t they?” 

“I suppose.” 

It’s quiet for a bit. 

“Hey you stopped crying”, Stu then says, a smile forming on his lips. 

Henry smiles, shaking his head. 

“Well you completely distracted me with your talk about alcohol.” 

“That’s good then.” 

“Why are you so nice to me?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I mean.. the party? That was so embarrassing.” 

“If I’m being honest, I only remember half of it.” 

“You’re not mad?” 

“No, of course not. You were just as gone as me, I’m sure you didn’t know what you were doing either.” 

“I shouldn’t have pulled you into it.” 

“You didn’t do it on purpose.” 

“I didn’t, but.. I mean you were really drunk, you-..” 

“It’s okay, I think I enjoyed kissing you.” 

“Me too. Kissing you, not me. ..I don’t know how that would work anyway.” 

Stu smiles. 

“What are you doing now?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you want to come to my place? My parents aren’t home and I’m kind of all alone there.” 

Henry hesitates, unsure about what Stu is trying to say. 

Stu’s eyes widen. “Oh god, I didn’t mean it like that! I just realised how that sounded, I swear I didn’t.. shit, I just.. I was gonna make pasta and cooking is always nicer if you don’t do it just for yourself. And both of us are alone and I’m hungry and maybe so are you. We could watch a movie or just hang out. I swear I didn’t mean-“ 

“Pasta sounds nice”, Henry blurts out, before Stu can go on. 

He really doesn’t want to go home or god forbid back to the dorms. 

And Stu is so nice, his presence is so soothing. Henry wouldn’t mind spending some time with him. 

“Yeah?” 

Henry nods. 

Stu smiles. “Okay, pasta it is then.” 


	57. Stu :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry spends the rest of the day with Stu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- brief mention of trauma from sexual assault 
> 
> (there’s also lots of kissing? idk if that needs a warning, it’s not that explicit but like I’d rather say sth just in case)

It’s so quiet in that big house when literally no one’s there. It’s actually really nice when the light floats in through the tall windows and the music isn’t so loud as to give you a headache.

Henry sat down at the kitchen isle after Stu told him he really really doesn’t have to help. 

‘It’s just pasta Henry, there’s not much to do.’

So now Henry is just watching him as he boils up water and starts to cook. 

No one who’s not part of his family ever cooked for him. 

It feels weirdly intimate. 

Like yeah, he barely knows Stu, but this is nice. 

His phone vibrates in his pocket and Henry ignores it at first. Then it vibrates again and eventually Henry decides to check it. 

It’s Ted. 

He finally texted back. 

Apparently he does regret his words by now. 

_ ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t  mean it’  _

_‘Are you okay?’_

It’s weirdly formal. 

Ted isn’t the kind of person who uses punctuation and capitalisation. 

It’s almost like he really thought about how to put this. 

Henry deletes the notifications nonetheless. He doesn’t want to answer, not in that moment anyway and he very much doesn’t owe Ted anything. 

He’s done. 

“Are you alright?”, Stu asks. 

Henry nods. 

“Yeah” he says, before he decides to just turn off his phone. 

“Are you thirsty? We have water, orange juice, coffee, tea, iced tea..” 

“Uh, tap water is fine.” 

“Alright.” 

He fills Henry a glass with water and pushes it towards him. 

“You should stay hydrated, you just cried it all out.” 

Henry smiles weakly. 

“Yeah, it was honestly exhausting.” 

Stu laughs a warm, welcome laugh. 

“Well, pasta’s ready in five minutes.” 

“I owe you my life.”

Stu laughs again and shakes his head. 

“No, actually thank you for being here.” 

“House too big?” 

“Honestly yeah.” 

“Where is everybody?” 

“My parents flew to their second residence, I think they’re trying to save their marriage by spending some time together. My siblings are all spread across the country, studying and working as far away as possible.” 

“You’re the only one who stayed?” 

Stu shrugs. 

“I’m the youngest, I couldn’t leave too. I couldn’t do that to my parents.” 

“Did you want to?” 

“Yeah of course.” 

“Oh I’m sorry.” 

He shrugs lightly. 

“I mean at least I have the house to myself a lot, that can be cool.”

“You didn’t seem to enjoy your own party though.”

“Yeah. ..I honestly hate it here.” 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault. Besides, you’re here right now so that’s nice.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I kinda like you. I mean I barely know you but you seem very cool.” 

“You seem very cool too.” 

Stu smiles. 

Then he seems to remember that he’s cooking and he quickly turns back around to the stove to make sure nothing burned. 

— 

Henry stays after they’re done eating. 

He doesn’t really have anything better to do and while eating they sort of started talking about movies and they realised that Henry never heard of Stu’s favourite movie so Stu asked him if he wants to stay and watch it and Henry said yes.

There’s a room just for the TV in that house. 

It’s a rather small room with a couch and two arm chairs and a rather big TV. 

Henry settles on the couch, surprised at how comfortable it is for the fact that it doesn’t look comfortable at all. 

Stu sits down next to him eventually, having started the movie. 

The movie is good. 

Like really good. 

Henry catches himself closer to Stu at the end of it, his head resting on Stu’s shoulder. It just fell there and when he wanted to sit up again, embarrassed about it all, Stu told him it’s fine and he doesn’t have to worry about it. 

So he stayed there.

He’s really tired after all. 

Then the movie is over and the end credits roll and he still stays there because Stu’s head fell on his and neither of them makes a move to get up. 

“Did you like it?”, Stu asks. 

“Yeah.” 

Henry looks up to see him smile. 

Stu turns his head to Henry and their noses softly collide. 

For a moment it’s just dead quiet. 

Henry doesn’t know what Stu thinks but he knows exactly what he thinks. 

Should he? 

He could, surely.

He wants to, he knows that. 

But does Stu want to? 

Henry is too afraid to ask.

He’s pretty sure that he wouldn’t particularly enjoy getting rejected again. 

Stu’s eyes drop down to Henrys lips and back up.

“Do you.. uh..” 

“Yes”, Henry mutters, weirdly relieved at Stu’s reciprocation. 

Stu leans closer, closing his eyes as he gently fits their lips together. 

It barely lasts a second. 

Then the second kiss follows and Henry sighs, easing into it. 

It’s nice. 

It’s more than nice, a lot nicer than Henry expected for the fact that he doesn’t have feelings for Stu. 

If feels warm and soft and exciting. 

Henry is kissing a _boy_ and they’re both sober and they both want it and it’s not some kind of favour so suck that. 

This is real and it feels good. 

It feels _so good_ actually. 

Henry moves closer to Stu, moving his hands up to let them rest in the back of his neck. 

Stu’s hands slide around his waist, holding him steady before gently pulling him closer and onto his lap. 

Henry follows his lead, moving his leg over Stu’s and leaning against his chest as they keep kissing, again and again. 

It feels so good, part of Henry wishes he was in love with Stu instead. 

Stu is nice, Stu feels.. safe. 

Being with Ted used to feel safe too but now every  time Henry thinks about him, he just feels a weird mix of broken affection and sadness. 

Being in love with Ted was like bungee jumping except Henry was never sure if the rope would actually hold him and pull him back into safety or snap and let him fall to death. 

Now he has his answer, the rope snapped. 

Henry has a feeling that Stu wouldn’t let the rope snap, he wouldn’t even make Henry jump in the first place. 

That’s reassuring. 

Henry likes safety. He likes it better than free falling with no chance to know where he’ll land. He thinks. 

Henry doesn’t even think about Ted while kissing Stu. 

Or he barely thinks about Ted. 

He only thinks about Ted because of the bungee metaphor. And then he thinks about Ted again when he thinks about how well he’s doing at not thinking about him. 

He concentrates on Stu eventually because he feels like he’s being disrespectful, kissing him and thinking about someone else. 

Stu, he thinks, Stu, Stu, Stu. 

Stu is good, Stu is _better_. 

And Henry is kissing him. 

He kisses him for while. 

Stu smiles after some time and pulls away a little. 

“What are we doing?” 

Henry chuckles. 

“I don’t know.” 

“This feels good though.” 

“Yeah.” 

“It doesn’t mean anything, does it?” 

“Do you want it to?” 

“No.” 

“Okay, me neither.” 

“So we’re just having fun?” 

“If that’s fine with you.”

“More than fine.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Okay.” 

“‘Kay.” 

Stu kisses him again and Henry catches himself having almost missed it, in the few seconds they didn’t kiss. 

It gives him the kind of intimacy he’s been yearning for without really noticing. 

Henry didn’t realise that he doesn’t need romantic feelings involved to get that. 

He closes his eyes and falls into Stu’s touch, going along with it when Stu carefully pushes him on the couch, laying him down and following, not breaking the kisses once. 

This almost feels like on that party. 

Except Henrys brain didn’t get swapped with a cloud and is actually working. 

It’s still nice, though something feels wrong. 

There’s a part of Henry that feels weirdly uncomfortable and it takes him a while to realise that it’s probably because of the position he found himself in. It reminds him of Mason, pushing him down and towering above him. 

He sort of forgot about it and he actually thought it was fine. 

He was fine with it when it was Ted, laying on top of him when they’d cuddle. 

But Ted was familiar and Ted wasn’t kissing him. 

Stu is new, maybe that’s why. 

Henry tries to ignore it. He _knows _he’s not in danger, Stu would never hurt him. 

Stu pulls away eventually. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Yeah.” 

“You’re still fine with this?” 

“Yes. It’s just.. can we.. can I be on top?” He just needs some control back, then it’ll be fine. 

“Yeah sure.” 

Stu pushes himself up and gives Henry some room. 

Henry slips out from under him, nearly loosing balance on the edge of the couch when Stu pulls him back, an amused smile on his lips. 

“Don’t fall again.” 

Henry can’t help but laugh. 

“I didn’t mean to.” 

“Wait did you have a cast on your arm or did I dream that?” 

“There was a cast.” 

“It’s fine now?” 

Henry nods, sitting up now and gently pushing Stu in his previous place. 

He climbs on top of him and leans down to kiss him again. 

Stu smiles against his lips, his hands finding their way back around Henrys waist and pulling him close. 

“This better?”, Stu whispers. 

Henry nods, because it is. “Yeah. Is this alright with you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry kisses him again. 

They kiss for a while longer. 

There’s barely any sadness left in Henry by the end of it, maybe he just needed someone to kiss him until he stops thinking. 

They take a break eventually and end up cuddling, just talking for a bit and then resting in silence. 

Henry falls asleep at some point, though he didn’t mean to. 

— 

When he wakes up, he’s still laying on that couch but he’s alone. Someone put a blanket over him and Henry pushes it off now, sitting up. 

He rubs his eyes and stretches when an uncomfortable pain shoots into his neck. 

He hears clanging dishes in the kitchen and decides to get up. 

Stu is there when he enters. 

He’s making scrambled eggs and coffee and it smells amazing. 

“Hey”, Henry fumbles out. 

“Good morning.” 

“Sorry, I genuinely didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 

Stu smiles. 

“It’s alright.” 

“You made breakfast?” 

“Yeah, are you hungry?” 

“So hungry.” 

“Good, because I made a lot. Coffee?” 

“Yes! ..please.” 

“How do you drink it?” 

“Black. A little bit of sugar, if you have some.” 

“Sure.” 

He pours Henry a cup and hands him a can of sugar and a spoon. 

“Thank you”, Henry says. 

“No problem. 

“No for real, thank you.” 

Stu looks up, gifting Henry a reassuring smile. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

—

Henry turns his phone back on after they cleaned up the dishes. 

There’s a missed call from Frankie and a bunch of messages. 

_‘u alright?’ _

_‘just called ted and he said your not with him?’_

_‘hey text me’_

_‘or call’_

_‘just tell me your still alive’ _

Henry quickly texts back, feeling bad about the fact that he didn’t even consider telling someone he’s not coming home. But then again, he didn’t exactly plan on not coming home. 

_‘*you’re’_

_‘yeah I’m okay, sorry’_

_‘will come home now’_

He leaves the chat just to see that there’s more texts. 

From Ted of all people.

_‘I’m so sorry are you okay?’_

_‘Please be okay’_

Henry decides not to answer that. 

Maybe it’s petty but Ted said he doesn’t care so in Henrys opinion, he can go fuck himself. 

Maybe he’s just texting Henry now because he doesn’t want to bear the blame for it if something bad did happen to Henry. 

Henry’s phone vibrates when a new text from Frankie comes in. 

_‘fuck, thank god’_

“I should go”, Henry says now, turning to Stu who was in the process of making himself a second coffee. 

“Oh yeah, sure. Do you need a ride?” 

“No I’ll be fine. Thanks again.” 

“Well thank _you_.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Goodbye.” 

“Wait, I’ll walk you to the door.” 

“Wow, a gentleman.” 

“Just for you.” 

Stu leads him out. 

“Hey, Henry, I just.. can I.. I have a question.” 

“Do you want my number?”, Henry asks, surprised by his own boldness. 

Stu smiles lightly and shrugs.

“I wouldn’t mind having it?” 

“I’ll give it to you.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah duh. If I get yours too.” 

Stu smiles. “Of course.” 

He pulls out his phone and punches Henrys name into his contacts before he hands it over to him.

Henry types in his number and repeatedly makes sure he didn’t make a mistake before he hands the phone back to Stu. 

Stu calls him, letting it ring for a bit before he hangs up.

“There you go, now you have mine too.” 

Henry smiles. “Thanks.” 

“Call me.” 

“Maybe I will.” 

“I can make you pasta again.” 

“How tempting.” 

Stu winks at him and Henry laughs quietly and hugs him goodbye before he leaves for good. 

—

When he comes home, his parents are out. 

Frankie is there and probably Charlotte, though Henry doesn’t see her. 

“The lost son came home”, Frankie comments upon Henry entering the living room. 

“Where’s Charlotte?” 

“Taking a nap.” 

“Oh, nice.” 

“Yeah. Where were you? We were worried.” 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 

Frankie raises an eyebrow, waiting for him to go on. 

“I was, uh.. at a friends place.” 

“A friend.” 

“Yes.” 

“Like Chad, or..?” 

“Honestly it’s none of your business.” 

“Wow, okay. You’re right I suppose.” 

Henry nods lightly and is about to turn back around and go upstairs to take a shower and get into some fresh clothes when she adds: “Feeling very secretive today, are we?” 

“You don’t need to know everything about me.” 

“You made me curious.” 

“You’re so nosy.” 

“So are you.” 

“No I’m not.” 

“Did you talk to Ted? Were you with him? He said you’re not but-“ 

“Ted and I aren’t friends anymore.” 

It’s quiet, then she whispers: “What?” 

Henry shrugs, while he tries to think of good things like baby kittens or coffee in an attempt to keep himself from crying again. 

“We had a fight, okay? And he.. We’re not friends anymore, just accept it, will you?” 

“Accept it? What the fuck Henry?” 

“Please. Just let it go.” 

“Did you?” 

“Working on it.” 

“Are you really okay? Where were you?” 

“I’m okay. I was at Stu’s place.” 

“Stu?” 

“Yeah.” 

“The party guy?” 

“Yes.” 

“Oh.” 

“He’s really nice.” 

“You’re not dating him, are you?” 

“No.” 

“Huh. Okay.” 

“I’ll take a shower now if you don’t mind.” 

“Yeah I need time to process this anyway.” 

“Well have fun.” 

And with that Henry leaves before she can say more to it. 


	58. Stu Stu Stu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another whole Stu chapter because I’ve grown attached

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- implied sexual content (but it cuts off before it starts)  
\- lots of kissing  
\- mention of top surgery scars

Henry is fine without Ted. 

He genuinely is. 

This is not even a lie. 

He only allows himself to have feelings about it under the shower or late at night, when he can cry in peace. 

He tries to be strong in front of his parents and Frankie and Charlotte, so they won’t suspect how much he actually misses Ted. 

He has no business missing Ted, Ted surely doesn’t miss him. 

Henry decided that if Ted did miss him, he’d try harder. He would call or visit and actually apologise in person. 

He knows what he did. 

Henry is over it. 

Henry is _so_ over it, he only cries once a day at the most. 

He keeps meeting up with Stu. 

In a platonic way of course, though they do kiss a lot.

But they’re not romantic kisses, they’re not kisses that mean anything. 

They’re just kisses that people share who are lonely and starved for intimacy. 

Stu told him his boundaries, he told him there’s no, nor will there ever be feelings involved on his part. 

And Henry was fine with it. 

More than fine, actually. 

It’s not like he’s in the state to fall in love again anyway. Not anytime soon.

He hates to admit it, but his heart still very much belongs to Ted. 

It’s not something he’s proud of. 

But they’ve officially not been friends for only two weeks, Henry can’t just unlove someone within two weeks. 

At least he decided that he will not submit himself to those feelings anymore. He’s better than that. He has grown as a person and if there’s still a sparkle of affection for Ted in his heart then he’s fine with it, but it’s not something he’ll act upon. 

Stu is a good distraction. 

And that’s worth a lot right now. 

— 

He’s about to visit Stu once again. 

Because Stu is home alone and Henry is bored and boredom is hell because it gives Henry time to think. 

Stu asked him if he wants to come, because he’s bored too. 

And Henry said yes. 

He knocks on Frankies door to tell her he’s leaving and to make sure she doesn’t need the car. 

“Yeah?”, she asks. 

He opens the door to see her and Charlotte sitting across from each other on the bed, both of them holding a pad of paper and seemingly sketching each other. 

“What?”, Frankie asks. 

“Do you need the car?”

“No.” 

“‘Kay, cool. I’ll be back tonight.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“None of your business.” 

“Getting some dick-fil-a?”

“I hate you so much, it’s unreal.” 

Frankie sort of suspects what’s going on between Stu and him by now. Henry hates that. Because of course she’s going to be weird about it. 

“What’s going on between you guys?”, Charlotte asks softly. 

Henry sighs. “It’s ..complicated.” 

“Complicated as in friends with benefits?”, Frankie goes. 

Henry blushes. Is kissing a benefit? It’s surely not what friends usually do. 

He’s not even sure if they’re friends. 

It’s not like they know each other that well. 

But he supposes they’re friends.

Friends with.. something. 

“I mean.. sort of?”, he therefore says. 

“Oh my god”, Frankie whispers, letting pencil and paper fall on the mattress to emphasise her surprise by throwing her hands on her cheeks. “Oh my god! I did _not _expect to be right about this. Wow.”

“Jesus, calm down.” 

Charlotte looks surprised as well, just staring at him with her jaw dropped. 

“I can do what I want yeah?”, Henry says. 

“And right now you wanna do him?”

“.. shut up.” 

Frankie raises an eyebrow. 

“You know what? Good for you.. good for you. Treat yourself.”

“Good god”, Henry mutters, turning away now. “Bye.” 

“Have fun”, Charlotte says. 

“Thanks.” 

He closes the door and leaves. 

— 

They never really set boundaries. 

But they’ve also only ever kissed by now, neither of them ever made a move to go further. 

Henry is not sure if Stu doesn’t want to or if he’s just waiting for Henry to make the first move but he didn’t really mind there not being progress. 

He enjoys kissing Stu. 

He’s not sure how much further he’d be ready to go. 

He thought about it, sure. 

He can’t deny that he’s curious about it. Especially since Stu sort of seems to know what he’s doing. 

Henry has been thinking about it a lot. 

About what they’re doing. 

About what they _could _do. 

Maybe Henry should just go for it. 

Stu is nice, he’d be fine with going slow. 

Besides, what is Henry waiting for? 

Not _Ted_. 

Apparently. 

But then again, he doesn’t feel ready. 

Not with Stu anyways, he barely knows Stu. 

He kissed him plenty of times. 

And they talk a lot. 

But they never talk about important things. Nothing deep. 

The deepest thing Stu has ever told him was probably that his parents hate each other and he hates living in that house, nearly alone.

Henry wants to ask him about it, sometimes. 

He never does though. 

Because whenever he’s about to do it, he finds himself hesitating, unsure if he’s taking it too far with this. 

They said no feelings, so is that too intimate of a question? 

Stu barely knows anything about Henry too. 

He doesn’t even know about Mason. Honestly, Henry thought it would be more of a deal but Stu just kind of accepted that there’s some positions that make Henry uncomfortable and went with it. 

Henry is glad about it. 

He doesn’t like talking about Mason. 

Stu doesn’t ask, so he won’t have to. 

He doesn’t ask Stu either. 

Maybe that’s some unspoken part of their arrangement. Maybe there’s a silent, mutual agreement that they won’t ever talk about each other’s trauma. 

Or maybe Ted was right and Henry only hears what he wants to hear. Maybe Henry is just trying to avoid conversations that would make things more complicated. 

If Stu and him didn’t keep their conversations bland, maybe one of them would grow too attached. 

And that would make things complicated. 

But the thing is, Henry may be fine with not knowing Stu’s top five existential threats but he doesn’t know his favourite food or a weird secret like a hidden love for musicals. He doesn’t know how exactly Stu drinks his coffee. He doesn‘t know what makes him laugh, they don‘t even have stupid inside jokes. 

The whole point of whatever they have is that it’s meaningless. 

And Henry doesn’t want his first time to be meaningless. 

Sure, it doesn‘t really matter. 

It‘s stupid. 

It matters to Henry. 

It‘s stupid how much it matters to Henry. 

Henry would love to just not care and do it but he cares so much and part of him still wants it to hold some kind of meaning. 

He wants to actually date the person it’s with.

No matter how long that might take.

Sure, there is other stuff he’d like to try, but that can wait. 

Henry decided to see what happens and if it comes down to it, he’ll either do it or not, depending on whether or not he wants to.

It‘s that simple. 

Henry is almost proud of how laid back he is. 

—

The second time they met, they moved to Stu’s room to make out. 

They couldn’t possibly make out in the TV room on the couch forever. Or they could have but a bed is a lot more comfortable. 

So the bed is very much the default location at this point. 

It almost feels familiar by now and Henry likes that. 

It‘s weird to think about how they were there before and Henry ended up puking in Stu’s toilet but Henry generally tries to ignore that rather embarrassing part of his life. 

They are laying next to each other now, their legs a tangled mess and their lips melted together. 

Henry may or may not have pushed his hand under Stu‘s T-Shirt at some point because his body is so warm underneath, it feels nice. 

He’s just letting it rest on Stu’s side, casually caressing his skin when he pulls him a little closer. 

Stu buried his fingers in Henry‘s hair at some point and Henry won‘t deny that he‘s very much into it. 

He lets his hand wander further up, pushing Stu‘s T-Shirt along. He‘s not sure where exactly he‘s going with this but he certainly wouldn’t mind if Stu took it off. 

Stu reaches for his wrist almost instinctively, pulling his hand away. 

“Wait”, he whispers. 

“Sorry”, Henry mumbles, feeling bad because of how fast Stu retreated. He should have asked before doing something like this.

“No, it’s okay, it’s just..” Stu pulls away, sitting up now. “I have to tell you something.” 

Henry sits up too. 

“I should have asked, sorry. If you don’t want to take your shirt off, that’s literally fine.” 

“No, it’s not that, just.. I’m trans. And I thought I should tell you before you see it. In case you have a problem with it or.. I don’t know.” 

“Oh”, Henry fumbles out, a little surprised but mostly because he’s utterly unable to process words for a moment. His head is still spinning from kissing Stu so much. 

“Do you?”, Stu asks. 

“What?” 

“Have a problem with it?” 

“No”, Henry says, in all sincerity. 

“Sure?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay.” 

“Is there anything else?” 

Stu shakes his head. 

“No, that’s all. I think.” 

“Any boundaries? Do you.. not want to take your shirt off or..”

“No, I’m fine with that.” 

“Okay. ..Cool.” 

He smiles. “‘Kay.” 

It’s quiet for a bit. 

Stu hesitantly pushes himself closer to Henry again, resting his forehead against his. 

“So..”, he mumbles. “You wanted me to take off my shirt?”

Henry laughs quietly and nods. 

“Yes, if you’re alright with that.” 

Stu presses a quick kiss on Henrys lips before he pulls away to rid himself of his shirt. He throws it on the mattress next to himself, revealing two scars above his rips and a lot more muscles than Henry expected. 

Henry never really deemed himself that attracted to buff guys in particular but good god, maybe he is. Stu is ridiculously handsome and he took his T-Shirt off for Henry and Henry completely forgets to breath for a moment because of that.  


Henry really likes Stu and it’s almost not fair that he’s also hot on top of being the nicest person Henry has ever met. How is Henry supposed to handle this? If he falls for Stu, he won’t be surprised.  
He knows he’s not supposed to fall but still. He might. 

“Okay?”, Stu asks, having caught Henry staring. 

Henry blushes and swallows.

“Okay?”, he fumbles out, “Shit, Stu.” 

“What?” 

“Handsome?!” 

Stu laughs quietly before he leans to Henry and kisses him again. 

Henry instinctively reaches for his chest, letting his fingers trace the soft skin. 

Good god, Henry _really_ likes him. Like yeah, he’s not full on in love but for the past few days, kissing Stu felt no longer like just kissing. It feels nicer than that. 

It’s different than Ted, Ted is more intense somehow, but Henry isn’t sure if intense is good. 

Stu is good, that’s for sure.

Henry really hopes he doesn’t fall in love. 

“Do you wanna take yours off too?”, Stu asks now. 

“I was going to but now look at you, I can’t compete with _that_”, Henry mumbles. 

“Oh shut it, you’re literally so handsome.”

Henry blushes. 

“Shut up.” 

“Oh my fault, I thought we were gonna shamelessly compliment each other now.” 

Henry smiles. “You know what, yeah let’s do that.” 

They kiss again until Henry carefully pushes himself away to take off his T-Shirt. 

He tries to do it as gracefully as Stu but he totally fails and ends up taking a little too long, clumsily fumbling himself out of it. 

Stu is smiling when Henry finally pulls the T-Shirt off his head and sees him again. 

“Well that was embarrassing”, Henry quietly comments on his mishap. 

Stu’s smile grows wider. “It was endearing.” 

“Stop, you’re making me blush.” 

“That’s actually endearing as well so..” Stu leans closer, steadying himself on his hands, pinned on each side of Henry onto the mattress, his eyes dropping down and up again. 

“You’re gorgeous.” 

Henry blushes even harder. “Just kiss me?” 

Stu does kiss him. 

Maybe even a little more passionate than before but maybe Henry is just imagining that. 

Henry leans towards him, pushing him back against the headboard until he’s seated against it. 

Stu pulls him closer and Henry climbs into his lap. 

The kiss doesn’t last as long as the many many others because Henry soon lets his lips drop, kissing Stu’s neck instead. 

Stu sighs quietly and pulls him closer, his hands on Henrys hips before he starts to trace the waistband of his pants. 

“Henry? Do you want to..?”

“Huh?” 

“Go further?” 

“Oh. I don’t know.” 

“That’s not a yes.” 

“I.. yeah.” 

“Let’s not then.” 

“I’ve never done this”, Henry blurts out. 

Stu hesitates. “Sex?”, he asks. 

“Yes, that.” 

“Okay. ..We don’t have to do anything, you know?” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Sorry, I didn’t.. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-“ 

“No it’s okay, you didn’t.” 

“Sure?” 

Henry nods. 

“We should probably set boundaries?”, Stu asks. 

Henry nods again. “Yeah, good idea.” 

“So you don’t want sex?” 

“I‘m not sure.” 

“No then.”

“Yeah.” 

“Okay.” 

“You?” 

“Uh.. I don’t like hickeys?” 

“Getting or making them?” 

“Both.” 

“Okay. Anything else?” 

“Uhm.. no? I don’t know right now. I’ll tell you if something comes up. What about you?” 

“I.. honestly I’m not sure. I think I’d be down to try some things, just not.. all of it.” 

“Try some things. Okay, yeah.” 

“Yeah?” 

Stu nods. 

“You can tell me to stop if I do something you don’t like, yeah? I mean I’ll probably ask beforehand anyway but..” 

Henry nods. 

“Okay, you too.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry smiles. “Okay okay.” 

They kiss again, melting into each other as Stu hooks his fingers into Henrys pants and pulls him closer, making Henry feel.. things. 

“Can I touch you?”, Stu asks after a while.

Henry nods almost immediately.

“Yes. Yeah.. if you want to.” 

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise.” 

“Sorry.” 

Stu laughs quietly, before he gently pushes Henry off himself and sets him on the mattress, settling down next to him. 

They kiss again as Henrys heart starts beating faster in a weird mix of excitement and nervosity. 

“Sure?”, Stu asks again and Henry nods again, fumbling out a “Yes”.

Stu pulls him into a kiss before he eventually starts to fumble open his pants. 

—

They end up getting each other off.

It’s nice. 

Henry doesn’t regret it when he lays next to Stu on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a little smile dancing on his lips. 

It felt good. 

It felt good and there isn’t anything to regret. 

Henry is just content, somehow. 

He doesn’t even think about Ted. 

That means until he thinks about how he doesn’t think about him. 

Then he thinks about him for a bit, but not for long, because soon Stu rolls over and cuddles against him, distracting him from thinking about whether or not he should feel bad about this. 

And if he’s being honest, he really doesn’t care what he should do. 

He doesn’t feel bad about it and that’s what matters. He enjoyed it, that’s not a crime. 

Henry didn’t do this to hurt Ted. He didn’t do it out of spite or out of anger. He did it because he wanted to. Simple as that. 

He wanted it and Stu wanted it too and that‘s all that counts. 


	59. Dine On Your Alone-Ness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry’s sad like the rest of us, his mom tries to help. also Charlottes dad visits and also Charlotte and Henry talk for a bit

When Henry comes home, his mom is the only one still awake. 

She’s in her pyjamas, sitting on the couch with a blanket and reading. 

It’s about midnight. 

“Hey”, Henry whispers, careful not to wake the others, though they probably wouldn’t hear him anyway unless he starts shouting. 

She looks up from her book, smiling now. 

“Hi.” 

“Don’t you want to go to bed?” 

“I’m couldn‘t sleep. Besides, this is too captivating.”

“Okay, well, uh.. good night.” 

He turns to go upstairs. 

“Hey Henry?” 

He turns back around. “Yeah?” 

“Do you want ice cream?” 

Henry smiles. 

It’s been a while since they’ve done that. They used to have midnight ice cream a lot when he was younger. 

She only allowed it when he had a particularly bad day or she thought he seemed sad (which she was right about every time). She’s probably doing it out of the same reason now. 

But he misses it. 

So he nods. 

“Yeah.” 

— 

She makes him get the ice cream and two spoons out of the kitchen because ‘it’s so warm under the blanket’ and she doesn’t want to get up. 

Then they sit there and eat in silence for a while. 

Henry doesn’t say anything because he’s kind of waiting for her to say something. Besides, he’s very much fine with silence. It’s a comfortable silence anyway. 

“Are you doing alright?”, she asks eventually. 

“Yeah, sure.”

“I mean.. you’ve been very quiet recently.” 

“Yeah..” 

“Do you need to talk to someone? I know you said you’re going to the counsellor but you can’t really do that right now.” 

“I’m okay. Don’t worry, yeah?”

“Well I do worry.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.” 

“That guy you keep meeting.. He’s nice yeah?” 

“Yeah he is.” 

“I just-“ 

“He’s not Mason. Like at all.” 

Henry looks up to see her nod lightly. 

“Okay. Good.” 

“He’s really nice.” 

“What’s his name?” 

“Stu.” 

“From Stuart?” 

“I don’t know, actually.” 

“And he’s.. your..?” 

“Friend.” 

“Okay.” 

Henry puts his spoon down now, having had enough ice cream. His mom stopped eating since she started talking. 

“Mom, this isn’t about Mason. Me, being like this”, Henry says quietly. 

Partly because he wants to calm her down a little and also because he sort of wants to talk to her about it all. She always has answers for everything. Maybe she has something for this too. 

“Is it the boy you’re in love with?”, she asks. 

“What? ..did dad tell you?” 

“Yes, he’s worried too.” 

Henry sighs quietly. “That was trusted information.” 

“I’m sorry, he shouldn’t have told me.” 

“Yeah, no, he shouldn’t have.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I would have told you anyway, I think.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I.. yes.” 

“Who is he? Stu?” 

“No, not Stu.”

“None of your friends either? We know all your friends.” 

“No”, Henry says. 

It’s not even that much of a lie. Ted and him aren’t friends anymore after all. 

“He’s nice?” 

“He used to be.” 

“Did he hurt you? I can help, we can-“ 

“No, not.. I’m fine. He just doesn’t like me back, that’s all and we haven’t exactly talked since I sort of told him.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry.” 

Henry just shrugs, not really knowing what to say. 

“Love is not always kind, you know.” 

There she goes. Henry can’t deny he was hoping for this. 

“Apparently”, Henry mumbles. 

“And I’m so sorry that it wasn’t kind to you, your first time encountering it. But I want you to know that that’s not all it is. There’s so much more. It can be kind and warm and homey.” 

“Like you and dad?” 

“We’re lucky. I hope so are you and Frankie, if that’s what you want.” 

“I don’t know what I want anymore.” 

“It’s okay to take time. There’s no need for you to date or to find someone. I know it always seems like this is _the_ way to find happiness but it’s not for everyone. And if you balance all of your happiness on the shoulders of another person, that’s a rather fragile concept, isn’t it? You’ll have to distribute it. Most of it is in yourself, I’m sure.” 

“Very wise, mom. Thanks.” 

She laughs quietly. “Sorry, didn’t mean to go so deep.”

“You’re right though, I think.”

“Of course I am.”

Henry pulls his knees to his chest now. 

“You deserve good things”, she starts again, “And if that guy just keeps hurting you, it’s probably for the best that you move on.”

“I’m trying. I’m just..”

He feels like crying again.

But that would worry her, so now he’s just blinking as fast as he can.

“I miss him”, he whispers. 

Because he does. 

He misses Ted so much. 

He doesn’t want to miss him. 

Missing someone who doesn’t miss you back is stupid anyway. 

That won’t make Henry stop missing Ted though. 

Sometimes Henry feels like his feelings keep hitting dead ends. And he hates how this is only his fault. He can’t blame someone for not loving him. People are free to not love whoever they want.

But everyone he cares about cares more about someone else, he thinks. 

Which is also fine. 

It would be greedy and unhealthy for Henry to want someone just for himself. He doesn’t want to be the only person someone can go to. He doesn’t want someone to care about _only_ him.

But it would be nice if someone cared at all. Just a little. Just as much as Henry does, maybe. 

Henry doesn’t want to keep falling in love with people one-sidedly, he is so sick of it. He doesn’t want to fall in love at all anymore. It’s too much, everything is too much and his heart drives him insane because it just keeps wanting, it’s so greedy, it keeps wanting someone to hold close. 

He can already see himself doing the same mistake with Stu. He has already grown too attached and he just knows that he will get hurt again because Stu made it very clear that he doesn’t want love from him. 

Henry starts chewing on his bottom lip, frowning now as he blinks against the tears. 

Ted doesn’t care and he doesn’t need him. He said that and he sounded very determined on it. 

No one cares, according to Ted. 

Maybe that’s true. 

It probably is. 

A tear tumbles over Henrys cheek now and his mom notices, because she sits closer to him and pulls him into her arms. 

Henry sniffles quietly, cursing himself because the last thing he wanted to do was cry. But there he goes. 

“You’re loved, you know that, yeah?”, she whispers. 

“..Yeah”, Henry mumbles, though he’s not so sure. 

His mom loves him, sure. His family loves him. But they sort of have to, don’t they? 

Sometimes he’s scared that they just tolerate him because they made him. Like he’s pretty sure they love him most of the time but also do they? 

Maybe this is just him, sort of finding himself incredibly annoying. It’s hard to find things about yourself that you can deem loveable, even more if you can’t stand yourself most of the time. 

“What if..”, he starts, but stops because he doesn’t want to say stupid things like that. 

“What?”, she asks. 

“What if no one needs me?”, he then asks anyway.   
  
“You don’t need to be needed, you’re not some purchasable good, you’re a human being.“

“But I want to be needed?”

“No, you want to be wanted. You don’t want someone who only tolerates you in their life because you fulfill a purpose to them. You want someone who wants you in their life just because. It’s okay to be needed sometimes but that shouldn’t be everything a relationship or your self-worth is based on.”

“Oh”, Henry whispers. And there he was, measuring his self-worth by whether or not people need him. 

But then again, no one _wants_ him either, so it doesn’t really matter, does it? 

“Just think about it”, his mom says. 

“I am.”

It’s quiet after that.

They just sit there for a while, until his mom eventually proposes that they both go to sleep and Henry agrees.

— 

The doorbell rings the next morning and Henry is the one who ends up opening it. 

There’s a stranger. 

A man, mid forties, maybe. Henry has never been good at guessing ages. 

“Hi?”, Henry asks. 

“Hey, uh.. is Charlotte here?” 

“Who are you?” 

“Oh, sorry. Luke. Her dad.”

“What do you want?” 

“I want to talk to her. Is she here?” 

Henry hesitates. 

He doesn’t want to tell him. He doesn’t know him, he doesn’t know his intentions. Plus neither his parents, nor Frankie are home. 

His parents went for groceries and Frankie went to meet up with some highschool friends, it’s just been Charlotte and Henry for most of the morning. 

“Please, can you just go get her? She texted me the address, I can show you if-“ 

“It’s okay Henry”, Charlotte says from behind him. “Hi dad.” 

“Hey”, her dad says, his voice breaking a little. 

“Sure?”, Henry asks, turning to her now. 

She nods. “He just wants to talk. It’s okay, he won’t hurt me.” 

“Okay”, Henry quietly says, “I’ll leave you alone then?” 

She nods, so Henry goes back to the kitchen to make his second coffee of the day, an action he was distracted from when the doorbell rang. 

— 

Luke stays for about an hour, just talking to Charlotte in the living room. 

Henry went upstairs to give them some privacy, only hearing about Luke’s departure when Charlotte comes into his room, knocking against the doorframe. 

Henry left his door open, just in case. 

Charlotte looks happy, a smile gracing her face, though her eyes are a little reddened, like she cried.

“Are you okay?”, Henry asks, still awkwardly sitting on his bed.

“Yes.” 

“What.. happened?” 

She just comes over, throwing herself on her back next to him. 

“He apologised, said he misses me and then apologised again, said he should have done better and he’s ashamed that he didn’t stand up for me and so on. He said he’ll finally leave my mom. He found a new flat. There’s an extra room. He said I can have it, if I want to.” 

“Oh my god! That’s.. that’s great, isn’t it?” 

She smiles and nods. 

“He said he loves me, no matter what.” 

“I mean as he should.” 

She laughs quietly.

“You’ll finally get rid of me.” 

“We’ll miss you and you know it.” 

“I’ll miss you too.” 

“When is he moving?” 

“In like a week. I’ll probably leave in about two. He said he’ll get all of my stuff for me so I don’t have to go see my mom.” 

“She’s just fine with it?” 

Charlotte shrugs. 

“Apparently she didn’t even really care when I ran away.” 

“Oh I’m sorry.” 

“I deserve better.” 

“Yeah you do.” 

“You know, somehow living with your parents really showed me how good parents can and should be. It’s not that hard, right? Your parents are amazing. If my mom ever hurts me again, I will cut her off forever.” 

“Well I support you in that.” 

“Thank you for taking me in and everything.” 

“No of course. Don’t thank me.” 

“Do you think Frankie will be sad when I leave?” 

“I mean, yeah.” 

“Do you think if I asked her to be my girlfriend she’d say-“ 

“Yes.” 

Charlotte looks up, seeming surprised for some reason. 

“Sure? I’m afraid to ask. What if she just likes me as a friend?” 

Henry sighs quietly. 

“Good god”, he whispers, “Just ask her.” 

“Just ask her”, she quietly imitates him. 

She really did hang out with Frankie too much. Now she’s imitating him too. 

“I mean it”, Henry says. 

“I’ll ask her under one condition.” 

“What condition? Just do it.” 

“Emma and Paul asked if we want to hang out on Sunday. Like at the lake. They asked me to ask you if you want to come too.” 

“That’s the condition?” 

“Yes.” 

“Who else is coming?”, Henry asks, not really trusting her to not have invited Ted. 

“Just like the others.” 

“The others?” 

“Bill, Chad.. you know?” 

“Will Ted be there?” 

“No..” She laughs nervously. 

“Good god, yes he will?” 

“I don’t know if he’ll actually come! He’s probably just as stubborn as you.” 

“I can’t believe this.” 

“Come on!” 

“No.” 

“Please, Henry?” 

“No.” 

“Don’t you miss Em? And Paul? We haven’t seen them in a while.” 

“Yeah I miss them but what I don’t miss is fighting with Ted, so no thank you.” 

“Well he sure misses you.” 

“What?” 

She hesitates. 

“Char did you talk to him?” 

“Well yes! He’s my friend.”

“Did he make you do this?” 

“No. It just hurts me to see both of you sad and I want to help.” 

“I don’t need your help.” 

“You know, Ted’s barely even talking to Paul anymore.” 

“That sucks for them.” 

“Just saying, he’s not cutting you personally off.” 

“I don’t care.” 

“Henry please. Give him a chance.” 

“Listen, this is not on me! He really hurt me and he knows that. If he feels oh so bad about it, he can come tell me himself, but I will not run after him like some pathetic idiot.” 

“You know he didn’t mean any of what he said to you?” 

“No I don’t! I don’t know what he meant and what not, he’s not talking to me! And I’m sorry but I can’t read his stupid thoughts.” 

She sighs quietly. 

“Take a breath, yeah?” 

“Sorry”, Henry mumbles. 

“I just want you to be happy again. You don’t have to come.” 

“Okay.” 

“Paul was gonna ask Ted. If he says no, would you come?” 

“If Ted doesn’t come, I’ll be there.” 

“Okay. I’ll keep you updated.” 

“Okay. ..thank you. And sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I don’t know what exactly happened between you guys so I don’t have the right to judge.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Yeah”, he mumbles.

“I just.. you’re okay?” 

Henry nods again. 

“I’ll get over it.” 

“Is that really necessary? Can’t you just reconcile?” 

Henry shrugs. “Ted said he wishes we had never become friends. I don’t think he wants me in his life anymore.” 

“Oh”, Charlotte whispers. 

“Yeah. Oh.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” 

“He didn’t tell you?” 

“No.” 

“Huh.”

“Maybe seeing the others would help?” 

“Maybe. But just if he isn’t there.” 

“I’ll check for you.” 

“Okay, thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“You’ll ask Frankie though? Even if I don’t come?”

“Yeah, duh, I’m not gonna put my happiness in your hands.” 

“Good, okay.” 

Charlotte smiles, nudging him gently. 

“It’ll be fun, yeah?” 

Henry forces a smile and nods. “Yeah.” 


	60. Paul Is A Lier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte talked Henry into coming to the lake and when they get there, an unpleasant surprise is waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: alcohol
> 
> pls appreciate my bf joke in the title

Charlotte does talk Henry into coming in the end. She said that Paul said that he asked Ted and Ted said no. 

So Henry has to come because he promised her he would, if Ted isn’t there. 

And then he’s sitting in the back of the car, holding the jacket he brought for when it gets cold and praying that Ted really won’t be there. 

Frankie is driving and she keeps checking on Henry through the rear view mirror for some reason. 

“What?”, Henry mumbles after a while. 

“Nothing.” 

“You keep watching me. Stop.” 

“I’m not watching you.” 

“Yeah you are.” 

“Just making sure you’re alright. Calm down good god.” 

“Ugh.” 

Henry closes his eyes and leans against the window, trying to think about how nice it will be to see the others again. 

But part of him keeps feeling bad about it all, it’s like a tiny suspicion, just lingering in the back of his mind. 

Then Frankie pulls over into the college parking lot closest to the lake. 

“Here we are”, she sings, drawing out the ‘are’ until Charlotte joins in. 

Henry rolls his eyes but can’t bite back the smile that forms on his lips. 

Apparently they’re dating now so that’s nice. At least they are happy. 

“Come on”, Henry then says, before he gets out of the car. 

—

They walk down the hill to the lake, Charlotte and Frankie walking ahead, holding hands and Henry sort of trailing behind. 

Henry can spot Paul and Emma from afar. They’re sitting next to each other. 

Bill and Chad are already there too. 

And someone else. 

Henry just stops walking. 

Of course this was a trap. 

Of course it was. 

There he is, just sitting next to Paul and holding a bottle of beer or something. 

Frankie turns around when she notices that Henry stopped. 

“What?”, she asks. 

“No”, Henry just says. 

God, he feels so betrayed. 

He just wants to cry. 

Charlotte turns to him, confused, then to the others, then to Henry, her eyes widening. 

“I swear I didn’t know”, she says, letting go of Frankies hand and coming towards Henry. 

“You lied to me?” 

“No! Paul really said Ted wouldn’t come, I swear! I didn’t know.” 

She sounds so sincere. 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Paul then”, he mumbles, anger swaying in his voice. 

“I’m sure he didn’t mean you harm. Or maybe it was spontaneous.” 

“Well whatever it was, I’m leaving.” 

“Oh come on, you’re such a coward”, Frankie groans. 

Henry shakes his head, tears building up in his eyes. 

“No.” 

“Henry please?”, Charlotte tries softly. 

“Can I take the car?”, Henry just asks, “You can call when you want to go home and I’ll come get you.” 

It’s getting dark already and Henry doesn’t really know where else he’s supposed to go. Where he _could_ go, just by walking. 

The dorms, sure, but Ted is highkey living there right now so that’s a no. 

Stu maybe. 

“No”, Frankie says. 

Henry rolls his eyes, focusing on the car keys in her hand. 

“Just give them to me?” 

She shakes her head. Henry makes a step towards her, trying to just take them from her. 

She jumps back, then she just pushes them under her T-Shirt, securing them in her bra. 

Henry stops. 

“Are you serious?” 

“You’re not getting them”, she just says. 

“You’re the worst.” 

“I can live with that. If you’ll come with us now?” 

“No, actually I’d rather run into the woods and die.” 

She groans. 

“Don’t be so fucking dramatic.” 

“Charlotte?”, Henry asks, looking for help. 

“Well..”, she just says, looking helpless. 

“Fine, I’ll take the bus”, Henry quietly decides. 

“Hey!”, Emma shouts at the same moment. 

She comes running towards them. 

“Hey”, Henry says, “I was just leaving.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you just arrived.” 

“I’m-“ 

She just hugs him. “Hi, good to see you! How are you doing? ..I mean despite everything?” 

“Oh you.. know?” 

“Yeah, duh.” 

“Then you’ll also know why I’m gonna leave now.” 

“Bullshit, you stay”, she says, reaching for his wrist and pulling him towards the others. 

Henry just kind of stumbles after her, overwhelmed by how strong she is. 

Chad lights up when he sees them. 

“Hey!”, he says. 

“Hi”, Henry mutters, eyeing Ted who finally looks up as well. 

He looks at Henry for a second, then at Paul, betrayal in his eyes. 

So Henry isn’t the only one who got tricked into this.

Paul just avoids both of their gazes, pretending to be busy on his phone. 

Then Ted starts chugging his beer and Henry decides to go to Bill and Chad because apparently they are the only people he can still trust. 

“Hi”, he quietly says. 

Bill gifts him a soft, nearly sympathetic smile. 

“Hey. Want something to drink?” 

“No. ..thanks.” 

He sits down next to Chad, who puts his hand on Henrys back, rubbing it in a reassuring way for a moment. 

Henry just wants to go home. 

The good thing is that Ted is ignoring Henry just as much as Henry is ignoring Ted. At least he doesn’t try to talk to him or anything. He just keeps drinking, reminding Henry of how Brianna said he has a booze problem. 

Not that Henry would care. Because he doesn’t, it’s none of his business. If Ted wants to knock himself out, Henry isn’t going to be the one who stops him. 

He just wishes someone would put the other bottles out of his reach, so he’ll stop after his current one. 

It‘s so obvious that something is wrong, someone should stop him from drinking. 

Not Henry, but someone. 

Frankie and Charlotte join them now, sitting down, all lovey-dovey again, just holding hands and leaning into each other. 

“Henry, I heard you’re with Stu now?”, Bill asks, leaning past Chad to look at Henry. 

“What?”, Henry fumbles out. 

“No then?” 

“Who told you?” 

“Emma.” 

“Guilty”, Emma chimes in, “Frankie told me you’re seeing him?” 

Henry glares at Frankie, who is looking away, pretending not to notice him. 

“Uh..”, Henry starts, “Sort of?” 

“Oh?”, Chad asks. 

Henry just shrugs lightly, trying to ignore the feeling of Ted watching him.

“It’s not a big deal”, he says, because he wants the conversation to end. 

“Stu is the party guy, right?”, Paul asks. 

“Yeah”, Emma says, “the one Henry-”

“Can we not talk about it?”, Henry asks. 

“Why? Did you break up already?” 

“No. We’re literally not even dating, we’re just ..friends.” 

“Friends who bone”, Frankie says. 

Henry groans. “Shut up.” 

Bill seems to notice his discomfort, because he quickly turns to Frankie and Charlotte. 

“So you’re official now?”, he asks. 

He probably already knows the answer and is simply asking todistract from Henry and Stu. 

Henry is more than thankful for that. He could actually kiss Bill, that’s how thankful he is. 

He really really doesn’t want to be in the center of attention. 

Lucky for him, Frankie and Charlotte are absolutely insufferable and really enjoy talking about how happy they are together. So that’s about half an hour where Henry can just relax and stare at the ground. 

Every now and then he ends up having really awkward eye contact with Ted but he survives it every time, so it’s fine. 

— 

Henry manages to stay for two hours. 

It got really dark at this point and Emma made a fire. 

Henry pulled his legs against his chest, rested his chin on his knees and spent a lot of time just staring into the flames. 

He hears a phone vibrate and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Ted reach for his phone, checking it. 

“Who is it?”, Emma asks. 

“No one”, he says. It’s the first time he actually spoke since Henry got there and his voice sounds kind of raspy. 

It’s weird, he sounds different than usual. 

A little drunk maybe, he’s on his fourth bottle after all. Maybe that‘s it. 

It’s not like Henry cares. 

If Ted is drunk, then that’s his problem. And Henry didn’t even count the bottles, he just happened to notice. 

He’s not worried or anything. 

“Dean?”, Emma asks. 

Ted shrugs. 

“Yeah.” He sounds annoyed, tired. 

Maybe Henry isn’t the only one who‘d rather be anywhere else. 

“Just tell him?” 

“No.” 

“You’re leading him on.” 

“I’m not. I told him I’ll never want anything serious with him from the beginning.” 

“You’re a stone cold bitch”, Emma says. 

“I phrased it a lot nicer.” 

“Still.” 

“Ugh.” 

Henry silently tries to talk himself into relaxing and minding his own business. 

“He likes you?”, he blurts out instead. 

Ted looks up, almost surprised at the prospect of Henry talking to him.

Everybody is surprised, even Henry. 

It got weirdly quiet. 

Ted shrugs lightly. 

“So what?” 

Part of Henry is weirdly relieved that Ted doesn’t care about Dean. 

But the other part genuinely feels bad for Dean. 

Ted is so careless. 

He just does things without thinking. He just goes around breaking hearts without giving a single shit. 

Sure it’s not Teds fault that Dean likes him, it’s not Teds fault that Henry is in love with him but still. 

He doesn’t have to be such a dick about it. 

“Don’t do this to him”, Henry says. 

“What?” 

“Don’t treat him like shit.” 

Ted scoffs. “I’m not.” 

“Yeah you are. You don’t even notice it!” 

“Are you- ..Do you feel bad for _Dean_?” 

“He deserves better.”

“Go and date him, why don’t you?”

“Oh fuck you.” 

“Are you jealous?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“You act jealous.” 

“You act like an asshole.” 

“Well I _am_ an asshole, right?” 

“Shut up! You-” 

“Okay!”, Frankie quickly says, “Let’s not fight!” 

Then it’s quiet again. 

Henry still feels the anger boil in him. 

He has to go. 

He has to leave, just leave before he says something he’ll genuinely regret. More than everything he already said that means. 

“I have to leave”, he mutters. 

“What? Why?”, Bill asks. 

“I, uhm.. Stu. I promised him I’d drop by.” That’s a lie. Henry just wants to give them something that won’t have them worried. If Henry’s honest, he doesn’t know where he’ll go. Maybe he’ll just take the bus home. 

“Okay. See you?” 

Henry nods and gets up now. 

“No come on, please stay!”, Emma says. 

“Sorry”, Henry says. 

“Wait, I thought you’re driving home with us”, Frankie says. 

“Stu”, Henry just says, hoping it’s enough of an explanation. 

“Oh, okay. Tell him hi from me.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

Henry just leaves and it’s weirdly freeing. 

It’s freeing to just leave Ted and his stupid phone with Deans stupid number on it behind. 

He walks for about two minutes until Ted catches up. 

“Hey Henry!” 

He’s out of breath and slightly stumbling because he’s drunk. 

“What?”, Henry snaps back, not really stopping or slowing down. 

“Wait a second, would you?” 

“No.” 

“Please?” 

“What is your deal? Why are you following me now?” 

“The others made me.” 

“Well, I’m dismissing you. You can leave.” 

“No wait that came out wrong. I wanted to follow you. On my own.” 

“Why?” 

“I want to apologise. So.. I’m sorry.” 

“Wow thanks.” 

“I’m not asking you to forgive me, I just want you to know that nothing I said was true. I didn’t mean it, I just-“ 

“I don’t care.” 

It’s quiet for a moment. 

“You’re mad at me”, he then mumbles. It’s not even a question, but it feels like an accusation. 

Just the way he says it makes Henry so mad. 

Stupid Ted. Stupid fucking Ted Richards with his sad brown eyes. 

Ted reaches for his wrist now, stopping him. 

“You’re really dating Stu?” 

“It’s none of your business.” 

“I know.” 

Henry looks at him for real for the first time that evening now.

He kept trying to avoid it earlier but now Ted is literally forcing him to do it. 

Ted looks horrible. 

He’s weirdly sweaty, his skin glistening in a way that seems rather unhealthy. He looks so goddamn tired. When was the last time he properly slept? 

A whiff of booze hits Henry when he hesitantly steps a little closer to Ted. 

“Good god, you’re really drunk”, he mutters. 

“Hey please don’t.. don’t date him”, Ted pleads quietly, looking so sincere. 

Henry frowns, taking a step back again, his sympathy washed off by anger. 

“I do what I want.” 

Ted stops, then he nods, looking sad. 

“Okay”, he mumbles. 

“Don’t do this.” 

“Do what?” 

“Don’t guilt me into forgiving you.” 

“I’m not!” 

“Yeah you are! You’re looking at me all sad.” 

“Well I am sad!” 

“I thought you didn’t care.” 

“I do care.” 

“That sounds like a you problem.” 

“Henry-“ 

“Why don’t you get it? I don’t want to talk to you anymore!” 

“Just-”

“I hate you!”

Ted stopped, his mouth still opened like he was going to say something, then he just nods lightly. 

“Just leave me alone, okay?”, Henry adds. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah.” 

Ted let’s go of Henry’s wrist and Henry immediately stumbles backwards before he just turns around and leaves for good. 

He walks aimlessly at first, just away from Ted. 

Then he settles on actually making his lie the truth and he texts Stu, asking if he’s still awake and if Henry can drop by. 

Stu says yes, of course. 

So Henry goes to him. 


	61. Don’t Bother With Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry goes to Stu, Ted leaves a message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- drunkenness

Stu opens the door, looking a little disheveled but cute. 

“Hey”, he says. 

“Hi.” 

Henry smiles. 

It always feels so good to see Stu. 

No matter how shitty Henrys day was, Stu sort of manages to cheer him up every time. 

“Come in.” 

Stu steps aside, letting Henry in and Henry quickly kicks his shoes off, following him upstairs. 

“What caused you to text me in the middle of the night?”, Stu asks as soon as they’re in his room. 

It’s not a taunting kind of question, he mostly just sounds a little confused. 

Henry shrugs lightly. 

“Maybe I was near and missed kissing you.” 

Stu laughs quietly, stepping closer to Henry now. He reaches for his face, pulling him into a kiss. 

“Yeah?” 

Henry nods, kissing him again. 

He really likes Stu. 

Maybe if he got to know him better, maybe if they’d spend more time together, maybe then he would fall in love. 

Actually, Henry knows he would. 

Falling in love with Stu would be so easy. 

Henry already likes him. 

He could fall in love, if he’d let himself. He probably even already is a little bit in love with him. 

It would be a lot more deliberate than whatever the fuck Henrys heart did with Ted. 

But Stu said he doesn’t want that, no feelings, no relationship. 

And Henry respects that. At least he tries really hard. 

Boundaries are boundaries, after all. 

They stumble towards the bed and lay down, making out now, just sharing messy kisses and pulling each other close, fingers clenching the fabric of a shirt or sinking into soft hair. 

“Let’s do it”, Henry mutters against Stu’s lips after a while. 

“What?” 

“Like.. all of it.”

Stu is good. Stu is the right one, Henry just knows it. It feels right. 

Maybe Henry can even ask Stu on a date, maybe it would work. 

If Stu likes him too that means. 

Stu pulls away now. 

“No”, he whispers. 

“You don’t want to?”, Henry asks.

Stu shakes his head. 

“And I think neither do you.” 

“Yes I do?” 

“No. ..You’d regret it, I don’t want that.” 

“No I want this, I swear I want this.” 

“What you want is to get rid of the pain. You’re trying to fill some kind of hole in your heart but man, this isn’t the right way.” 

Henry frowns, pushing himself away from Stu and sitting up.

Stu sits up too, carefully watching Henry. 

“Am I right?”, he asks. 

Henry hesitates and shrugs, trying to figure out why he suddenly feels like crying. 

“I’m sorry”, Stu says, “It’s just that I’ve been there too.” 

Henry swallows, blinking away the tears. 

“Yeah?” 

Stu nods, still watching Henry. 

“But I..”, Henry starts, trying to explain what is going on but he’s not even sure himself. 

Seeing Ted hurt. 

He misses him so much. 

He thought he could be fine but he’s really not and he misses Ted. He just wants his best friend back, despite the horrible things Ted said to him. Maybe Henry is just that pathetic. He hates himself for feeling like this. 

He should be over Ted. 

He should hate him, like he said he did. But it felt so wrong when he said it. 

He doesn’t hate Ted, he loves him. He wants him to be okay, he cares about him and he wants him back in his life. 

And Stu. 

Stu is perfect. 

Henry _really_ likes him.

But Stu is right, Henry doesn’t want this, Henry doesn’t want sex right now. 

He’s not sure what he wants. 

Maybe a hug. 

That might be nice. 

“It’s okay”, Stu whispers, all gentle, like he can read Henry’s mind. “Come here.” 

Henry lets Stu pull him into a hug, following as Stu lets himself sink back into the pillow. 

Henry buries his face in Stu’s neck, pressing his eyes shut in order to not let any tears through. 

“I’m sorry”, he mutters.   


“It’s okay. You’re in love with someone else, that’s fine.”   


Henry quickly shakes his head.   


“I really like you”, he says. 

“You don’t love me though, do you?” 

“I might? I’m not sure.”   


“I..” 

“Sorry, I know you said you don’t want me to.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Your friend.. he’s alright?”, Stu asks.

“Who?” 

“The guy you’re so desperately in love with.” 

“Oh. ..We’re not friends anymore.” 

“Okay. Well is he?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, is he nice?” 

“Why does it matter?” 

“If he’s a good person, I’d advise you to try and talk it out with him. But if he’s genuinely toxic or whatever, I would advise to cut him off for good.” 

Henry hesitates. 

Ted is a good person. 

He knows this. 

Deep down, he’s good. 

“He’s nice”, Henry therefore says, “but I think I already pushed him away for good.” 

“No you didn’t. There’s always a way back.” 

“Was there for you?” 

Stu hesitates, then he lightly shakes his head. 

“That guy I liked, he.. he wasn’t good.” 

“Oh.” 

“It’s okay. He’s gone.” 

“Like.. _gone_?” 

“Shit, no, he’s not dead or something. He moved away, it was pure luck.” 

“Oh”, Henry mumbles.

Stu laughs. 

“Did you really think I killed a guy?” 

“Could have been self-defense, I don’t know!”, Henry tries to defend himself, “Also I didn’t say _you_ killed him.” 

“Jesus.” 

“Sorry. I would have supported you though.” 

“Good to know. I will call you if I ever need to get away with murder.” 

“Feel free to do that.” 

Stu smiles, pulling Henry closer now. 

He presses a kiss on the top of his head and Henry closes his eyes for a moment, feeling actually sort of relaxed again. 

“Would you date me?”, Henry asks after a while, mostly out of curiosity. 

Also, if Stu says yes, maybe Henry will ask him out for real. 

“Hypothetically or are you asking me out?”, Stu asks. 

“Is there a difference?” 

“Honestly, yeah.” 

“Hypothetically?” 

“Yes.” 

“So if I asked you out..” 

“That’d be a no.” 

“Okay.” 

“Not because of you”, Stu quickly adds. “It’s me, I don’t want to start anything right now.” 

“Start? What do you mean?” 

“Remember how I said I’d like to leave?” 

“This house?” 

“This town. The state, even.” 

“Yeah. Will you?” 

Stu smiles and nods. “I talked to my parents. They said they’re totally fine with it.” 

“Oh my god!” 

Henry pushes himself up so he can properly look at Stu. 

He’s smiling now, mostly because Stu’s smile is so contagious. 

“Where are you going?”, Henry asks. 

“California. My brother is there, I’m gonna live with him for a bit and then we’ll see. Maybe I’ll do a road trip at some point, I’d love to do that.” 

“That sounds awesome.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m really happy for you.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You’ll do the road trip all on your own?” 

“Steve will join, maybe. Remember Steve?” 

“The one with the long distance relationship?” 

“That’s the one. They broke up.” 

“Oh shit. Sorry.” 

Stu waves it off slightly. 

“It was for the better, I think. All they did was fight. But now he wants to do something to forget her so I asked him if he wants to come with me and he said he’d love to. So there we go.” 

“When are you leaving?” 

“At the end of summer. I’m taking a gap year.” 

“Cool.” 

Stu smiles, reaching for Henrys face now and tracing his eyebrow with his thumb. 

“Hey if I come back and you’re still single, I might ask you on a date”, he says. 

Henry smiles. “Same goes for you.” 

“Oh I will be, trust me.” 

“Don’t say that. Maybe you’ll run into some hot stranger at a desolated gas station.” 

Stu laughs. “Probably.” 

“Never say never.” 

“Love the optimism. Keep that for when you go talk to your friend.” 

“I don’t know if I will.” 

“I’m not going to force you. But I think you should.” 

“Yeah.. Not now.” 

“Okay, it’s late anyway.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you wanna stay the night?” 

“Can I?” 

“Of course. I’d even let you sleep here instead of on the couch.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Gee thanks.” 

“Wanna stay?” 

“I’d love to, yeah.” 

—

They end up laying next to each other, staring at the ceiling. 

“Henry?”, Stu whispers. 

“Yeah?” 

“Tell me something about yourself.” 

“Like what?” 

“I don’t know. I just keep realising that I barely know you but I’d love to know you. Like.. do you have a pet?” 

Henry smiles. 

“We have a cat. Mr. Humbugger.” 

“Oh I love that name.” 

“My dad picked it.” 

“I love your dad.” 

Henry laughs quietly. “How about you?” 

“Ugh. I’ve been trying to talk my parents into letting me get a dog for years.” 

“You deserve a dog.” 

“I do!” 

“What would you name it?” 

“I don’t know yet. Something cute. Maybe a human name, just to confuse people.” 

Henry smiles. “I love that.” 

“Me too.” 

“You should name it Henry.” 

Stu laughs. “Will do.” 

“Maybe you can get one when you get back.” 

“I hope so.” 

“Or at least like a fish or something.” 

“A fish would be cool too.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Hey Henry?” 

“Yeah?“

“Let’s be friends?” 

“Aren’t we already?” 

“I mean like.. just friends.” 

“Okay.” 

“You’re okay with it?” 

“Honestly, I think it’s for the best, yeah.” 

“Yeah me too.” 

“I really like kissing you, if we keep going I might really fall in love or something.” 

Stu laughs. “Shut up.” 

“I mean it!” 

“Mh-hm.” 

“I really do.” 

“I might fall in love with you too.” 

“Friends then?” 

“Friends.” 

— 

When Henry wakes up, Stu is gone. The shower is running, so that’s where he assumes Stu is. 

He rolls over and reaches for his phone to check it. 

There’s two texts from Ted and a voicemail. 

Henry opens the texts first. Both of them were sent at around three am. 

_‘sorrysorrysorrysorrysirrysorrysortgsortysorrysorrybsotry’ _

_‘dont listen just delete sorry’ _

Henry frowns, opening the voicemail now.

He’s too curious to not listen to it now. He doesn‘t even consider deleting it, he just clicks and starts it. 

It’s silent for a bit. 

Then “Hi”, but it’s quiet, distant, like Ted isn’t holding the phone to his ear. 

Then again “Hey”, louder this time, “Hey Henry.” 

He sounds like he’s crying. 

There’s a quiet sniffle and it makes Henry feel weird, almost a little nauseous, twisting his guts and pushing tears into his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Teds voice breaks at that. “I didn’t mean it, I swear. You’re great, Hen. And people care about you, everybody does. I do too, I care about you, I love you so much.” 

Henry desperately tries to swallow down the lump in his throat. He presses his hand on his mouth to hold back the sob building up, because he doesn’t want to miss anything and he also really doesn’t want to cry now.

“I fucked up”, Ted goes on, “I know that. I wanted you to leave so I said things that I knew would make you leave. I thought.. I thought it’s for the best. I don’t know, I thought you’re better off without me as your friend. But I miss you so much. It hurts, I miss you. I.. miss you.” 

There’s a quiet sob and that’s when Henry breaks. 

It hurts to hear Ted like that. 

He’s so drunk. 

His words are slurring and he’s honest, Henry is not used to Ted just saying things like that. 

“I..”, Ted goes. Henry hears him take a shaky breath. “Listen, Hen, I’ll move out, yeah? You can have the room. Chad lives alone too, maybe he can move in with you, that might be nice, right? I just.. can’t live with you because it hurts, everything in the room hurts. I don’t think you wanna live with me anymore either, so I’ll move out. You can have it.” 

“No”, Henry whispers, not sure who he’s talking to, since he’s very much alone. 

“Goodbye yeah?”, Ted says, “I’ll be gone when you come back after the summer, I promise. Also, did I.. did I mention you’re great? You’re not spoiled or self-absorbed, you’re great. And I care. Everybody cares about you. As they should because you’re great, right? They better care. Anyways.. uhm.. goodbye, I have to-“ 

Then it just cuts off. 

Henry tries to take a breath but just ends up sobbing.

He quickly gets up, more or less ripping off the clothes Stu lend him and getting dressed as fast as he can.

“Woah, hey, are you okay?” 

Henry looks up to see Stu in the doorframe to the bathroom. 

“Yeah. I just have to go. Why?”

“Well first of all, you’re crying.” 

“I’ll stop, wait.” 

Henry quickly wipes the tears away. 

“Do you need help?” 

“No. I’m sorry, I have to go, I have to find my.. friend.” 

“Okay.”

“Sorry.” 

“No, don’t apologise.” 

Henry quickly hurries over to Stu and hugs him goodbye. 

“Thank you for letting me stay the night, I love you.” 

“Love you too.” 

Henry presses a kiss on Stu’s cheek, then he’s already running down the stairs. 


	62. Grumpy Baristas And Cancer Sticks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry tries to find Ted and does, eventually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- drunkenness  
\- cigarettes/smoking

He checks their dorm first. 

It’s empty.

No Ted, just an utter mess of clothes and things on his side of the room. 

Other than that, there’s nothing too worrying.

No empty bottles, no booze stench.

That‘s.. at least somewhat relieving. 

Henry leaves the room, aimlessly walking out of the building before he decides that maybe Dean knows something. 

So he goes to Beanies, because he literally doesn’t know where else Dean could be. 

When he enters, there’s almost no one there, except for Dean and one other Barista. 

Dean looks up, sees Henry and rolls his eyes. 

“Do you want a coffee?”, he asks. 

“No. Did you see Ted?”

“Like in general or..”

“Last night?” 

Dean scoffs. 

“No.”

“Did you hear anything from him?”

“Do you mean at two fucking am when he called me just to break up?”

“He did?”

“Don’t act so surprised, he did it for you.”

“For me?” 

“Because he’s still in love with you or whatever. I don’t get why, you made him feel like shit in the past weeks. But there he is, running after you like a puppy.” 

Henry frowns. 

“Do you know where he could be?” 

“No I don’t and I don’t care either.”

“Okay. ..sorry.” 

“What?” 

“I’m sorry he hurt you.” 

Dean shrugs lightly. 

“It’s okay. He told me his intentions. I was just stupid enough to hope he’d change his mind.” 

Henry hesitates.

“He hurt you too, didn’t he?”, Dean keeps going, “Who broke up?” 

“He did.” Ted ended the tiramisu-ing after all. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Henry shrugs.

“I’m also sorry I was just so mean to you”, Dean admits, “There was literally no reason for that, I think I’m just really jealous.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“He clearly still loves you.” 

Henry freezes. 

Did Ted say something? 

Did he tell Dean he likes Henry? 

It was probably a tiramisu thing, right? It must have been. 

Henry almost hates himself for thinking about that right now. 

Ted might genuinely not be okay and Henry thinks about whether or not Ted likes him back, like he’s still in middle school. 

“I.. I’ll go look for him”, he says now, pointing at the door. 

Dean nods. “Good luck. I hope he’s okay.”

Henry nods as well before he leaves again, feeling helpless now. 

Where is he supposed to go? There’s no secret spot Ted always goes to, none that he knows of. Good god, Henry didn’t even know Ted isn’t fine until Brianna told him. _This_ is what she meant when she said Ted will break down. 

Henry is a horrible best friend. 

He should have known, right? 

Ted always seemed fine. 

He was always fun, making jokes and everything. 

Henry just starts to cry again when he thinks about it. 

Maybe Ted was right, maybe Henry really only cares about himself. 

He never really asked Ted if he’s okay, did he? He just assumed Ted would tell him.  
He should have asked, he should have done better.

And worst of all, he shouldn’t have cut him off like he did. He should have at least listened when Ted tried to apologise. 

He pulls out his phone and calls Ted now, cursing himself for not having thought of that earlier. 

Ted doesn’t pick up though, so maybe it wasn’t that great of an idea after all. 

Henry starts to walk again because not moving just makes him more anxious. 

He walks for a while, just aimlessly around the campus, looking out for Ted.

It starts to rain at some point, just a soft drizzle but rain nonetheless. It’s the kind of rain that doesn’t even feel like rain, the air just feels wet and sticky. 

About half an hour after he started walking around, his clothes start feeling weirdly damp and he is genuinely about to give up and go back to the dorms to wait for Ted there. 

It’s on his way back there that he spots him down by the lake. 

He‘s just walking around seemingly aimlessly on the little platform leading into the water. 

He seems nervous or something like it. 

He stumbles over to the railing, holding on to it now. 

Henry quickly makes his way down there, scared that Ted might fall in, drunk as he is. God knows how good drunk-Ted can swim. 

The closer Henry gets, the clearer it gets that Ted is very much not okay. 

He’s shaking, sobbing quietly. 

Henry sees him fumble out his phone and stops, unsure about what to do. 

Ted is in so much distress, Henry doesn‘t want to disturb him unnecessarily. 

Ted didn‘t notice him yet, turned to the lake and away from Henry. 

He puts his phone to his ear now, taking a rocky breath. 

“Hey!”, he finally says, sounding relieved. “I know you.. I know you said you’re busy right now but.. Bri, I..” 

He presses his hand on his mouth for a moment, drowning out a sob. 

“Yeah, I‘m fine, I just need you.. need you to talk, can you just stay for a moment? ..please?“ 

He runs his hand through his hair and Henry can see it tremble, even from where he‘s standing. 

“Oh”, Ted mutters now, “yeah, no, it’s fine. Never mind, that was.. weird. Sorry.” 

He just hangs up after that. 

He curses quietly, whispering something to himself. 

By now Henry made the decision to go to him, even if it’s just to help him get through the anxiety attack or whatever it is he’s going through right now. 

He looks like he needs help. 

He fumbled out a pack of cigarettes, holding one between his teeth now as he puts the pack back into his pocket and gets a lighter. 

Ted doesn’t smoke usually, does he? He never did, not that Henry knew of. 

So that is worrying. 

His hands are shaking too much for him to actually light it and he curses again, pleading quietly for it to work. 

“Ted”, Henry finally says, as softly as possible in order not to frighten him. 

Ted still ends up flinching and dropping both items. 

He turns to Henry, almost losing balance. 

Henry quickly hurries forward and gets a hold of Ted, pulling him away from the railing.

“Don’t fall in”, he says. 

Ted just stares at him and Henry stares back when he realises how close they are, actually seeing Teds face for the first time that day. 

He looks like he didn’t sleep all night and Henry can still smell that whiff of alcohol, even stronger now than the night before. 

It’s almost like a déjà vu, just worse. 

Ted hurriedly wipes the tears off his cheeks, but if he’s doing it to hide his distress then it’s very much not working. 

His hands are still trembling and he’s breathing all slow, like it actually takes him effort to do it. 

“Hen?”, he whispers, like he’s trying to make sure it’s really him. 

“Yeah.” 

Ted frowns. 

“I’m..” 

“Are you okay?”

He nods quickly. 

“Don’t lie to me”, Henry says. 

Another tear runs over Teds cheek and he sobs quietly, avoiding Henrys gaze now. 

“I can’t-..”, he fumbles out, his breath stumbling. 

“Come here”, Henry says, carefully leading him to the edge of the platform and sitting him down. 

He drops himself on the stairs in front of Ted, reaching for his hands now. 

“What are you doing here?”, Ted asks. 

“Don’t worry about it. Take a breath, okay?” 

Ted nods lightly, doing as Henry said. 

Henry carefully watches him as he closes his eyes and focuses on breathing. 

Henry tries his best to not cry as well but if he’s being honest, seeing Ted like this hurts like hell. 

It’s his fault, isn’t it? 

He pushed him away and that’s why Ted was alone, he was all alone and here he is now. 

Henry still remembers how he told Ted he hates him, the look on Teds face when he quietly apologised. 

Henry sniffles and blinks, but there he goes, crying too. 

Ted opens his eyes again and frowns when he sees Henry cry. 

Henry quickly wipes the tears off his cheeks, forcing an encouraging smile. 

“Keep going. Just breath, that’s all you have to do.” 

Ted nods lightly. 

Henry carefully reaches for Teds face, pushing a few strands of hair away. 

It’s all damp from the foggy rain. 

It takes about five minutes until Teds hands stop shaking. 

“Why are you here?”, he quietly asks again. 

“You called me?” 

“What?” 

“You called me. You left a voicemail.” 

“Oh.. what did I say?” 

“You don’t remember?” 

Ted shakes his head. “I remember wanting to call you.” 

“You, uh.. you just sort of apologised? You said you’d move out of our room?” 

“Oh. ..yeah I can move out if you want that.” 

“No don’t.” 

Henry says it before he can really think about it. But it’s true. 

He doesn’t want Ted to leave. 

He thought he had already lost him but that was before Ted called him and said all that stuff and now here they are and he is getting hopeful again.   
They can work this out.  
Ted doesn’t actually hate him, it might be fine.

“Do _you _wanna leave?”, Ted asks, confused now. 

“No, I want both of us to stay.” 

Ted stays quiet, seeming a little overwhelmed by this. 

He just stares at the ground. 

“What were you doing here?”, Henry asks. 

“I don’t know. ..I needed fresh air? Being in our room sucks.” 

“Sorry.” 

“I might really move out.” 

“Please don’t. We can work this out.” 

Ted scoffs quietly. 

“Since when are you smoking?”, Henry keeps going, eyeing the cigarette on the ground behind Ted. 

“Why do you care?” 

“Well of course I care, that’s a fucking cancer stick.” 

Ted rolls his eyes. 

“This will kill you”, Henry adds. 

“Yeah?”, Ted mumbles, like that’s exactly the point. 

“I just don’t.. get why you’d spend money on something that will kill you.” 

“Sounds like money well spent.” 

“Don’t be so edgy.” 

“Those are Deans, actually.” 

“You stole them from him?” 

“Accidentally.” 

“You could throw them away.” 

“I could, yeah.” 

“Aren’t you worried you’ll get addicted?” 

“I don’t really care?” 

“Are you already?” 

“No.” 

“So throw them away.” 

“Don’t tell me what to do.” 

“..Sorry.” 

Ted nods lightly and Henry slowly remembers what he was actually going to do and decides to leave the topic of Ted apparently smoking behind.

“Listen Ted, I’m sorry”, Henry starts instead. “I’m sorry I destroyed it. I’m sorry I kissed you, I was really drunk and I kind of just went for it. I shouldn’t have pushed it on you like I did.”

Ted shakes his head. “Hen-“ 

“And I’m sorry for saying I get your mom. I don’t know what happened but whatever it is, I’m on your side, I always am. I’m also sorry for saying you’re an asshole, you’re really not.” 

“Stop”, Ted mutters. 

“What?” 

“Stop apologising. This is not on you, _I _fucked up.” 

“No, both of us did.” 

Ted just shakes his head and gets up. 

Henry gets up too, just sort of copying him. 

“I don’t hate you, you know? I’m sorry I said that”, he quickly keeps going. 

“Jesus Christ, stop apologising. You did nothing wrong.” 

“Yeah I did. I did everything wrong.”

Ted scoffs quietly. 

“No you’re perfect”, he mutters, so quietly that Henry can barely hear it and is unsure if he was even meant to. 

Henry frowns, opening his mouth to say something but struggling to find the right words. 

“Listen, I’m.. I’m really busy, actually, I have to leave”, Ted then goes, pushing past Henry. 

He just starts walking, back towards the college. 

“Wait, no, you’re not busy!”, Henry says, following Ted. 

“Yes I am.” 

Ted just keeps going, so Henry keeps following him. 

He doesn’t want to give up now, he already gave up last time. This time he’ll really try. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this and the next chapter actually belong together but it would have gotten too long if I hadn’t separated them so excuse this weird cut pls


	63. Maybe I‘m A Fool (For You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry and Ted talk (or sth)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of death/wanting to die

“Stop running away!”, Henry shouts, running out of breath. 

“Oh I’m the one who’s running away?” 

“Yes! You‘re.. literally running away right now.” 

“Well you told me to fuck off yesterday and now you’re following me like.. what do you even want from me?” 

“I want my best friend back.”

“You can find a new one.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“I mean it, there’s better.” 

“Is that why you said all that stuff? Because you wanted me to leave and find someone better?” 

“..yes.” 

“Because you thought..?” 

“Oh come on, don‘t pretend you didn‘t notice”, Ted says. He finally stops walking and turns to Henry, “You can do better and we both know it. Remember when I said you’d leave like everyone else? I was right.” 

“Well congratulations, you pushed me away too.” 

“Thanks, I know.” 

“Why? Did you need time? Did you.. get sick of me?” 

“No I didn’t get sick of you.” 

“Well it felt like you did.” 

“That wasn’t it. I’m sorry.” 

“You needed time then?” 

“I suppose.” 

“Well you had time now.” 

“I need more.” 

“No you need help.” 

Ted frowns lightly, looking weirdly surprised at that. 

“Remember how you told me it’s okay to ask for help? After Mason?”, Henry keeps going because he has a feeling that Ted is actually listening to him now. 

“Yeah, I.. said that.” 

“Well it goes for you too.” 

“I don’t need help.” It sounds like such a lie. Not even Ted seems to believe it. 

“Are you sure?” 

Ted nods. 

“Yes. I’m fine.” 

“Of course you are.” 

Ted nods again. 

“Just..”, Henry starts again, “How can you tell me all that stuff and not follow it yourself? You went all ‘weakness is okay’ and whatever but when you’re not doing well, you’d rather die than have anyone see it.” 

Ted shrugs lightly. 

“I’m sorry”, he says. It’s so quiet, weirdly vulnerable in contrary to how he usually presents himself. 

“Okay.” 

“I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t mean what I said to you. I’m sorry I cut you off and-“

“It’s okay, you already apologised.” 

“No, I was drunk, you deserve a sober apology.” 

“You’re still drunk, you know?” 

“..yeah.” 

“We should sober you up. You need sleep and water and-“ 

“Don’t do this.” 

“Don’t do what?” 

“Don’t be nice to me.” 

“What? Why?” 

“You know why.” 

“No I don’t.” 

“I don’t deserve it.” 

“Yes you do.” 

“No I don’t! This is so stupid, you’re.. too nice. You’re just carelessly nice.” 

“Well I miss you.” 

“I really hurt you and I did it on purpose, you know that?” 

“Can you explain? Why you did it?” 

Ted shrugs. “Sometimes I just do stupid things?”

“Okay but you had to have some sort of reasoning, right?” 

“I suppose.. I don’t know, I just panicked. After the party, you know? I panicked and decided I need some time so I left. And then you texted me and you were so honest and I just felt like an asshole for making you feel like I’m mad at you. I didn’t know what to say so I- so I waited, thought I’d answer as soon as I found the right words. And suddenly days had passed and I felt stupid, texting back.”

“You could have just been like ‘it’s fine’ or something.” 

“You deserved more than ‘it’s fine’.” 

“A coffee would have done it.” 

Ted smiles at Henry’s attempt to lighten the mood, still looking miserable. 

“Yeah?” 

“If you had just talked to me instead of doing whatever you did, it would have been fine.” 

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that you were so weird when you came in to get your laptop, I thought for sure you hate me and I just.. I felt so bad, I thought it would be for the best.” 

“You thought it would be for the best to just cut me off?” 

Ted nods. 

“That’s so.. stupid? I can’t believe you did that! Fuck you?” 

“You’re mad and I get that-“ 

“Yes I am mad! I _want_ you in my life, don’t you get that? You have no business cutting me off for_ my _sake. If you did things for my sake you would stay.“ 

“Maybe I’m selfish then.” 

“You’re not selfish, you’re self-destructive”, Henry says. 

Ted shrugs but stays silent. 

There’s a loud thunder, just breaking through the clouds above and suddenly the rain comes crashing down, having merged from a soft drizzle to the kind of rain that drenches you in seconds. 

Ted doesn’t acknowledge it, he’s just looking at Henry, all sad and full of regret. 

“There’s literally no reason for you to push everybody away, but you keep doing it. What for?”, Henry keeps going, having to shout over the rain now. 

“I don’t know, okay?”

“Why do you have to be so self destructive?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe I just want this to end.” 

“This?” 

Ted hesitates. He looks away, his face full of misery and pain. 

“Oh”, Henry mumbles, slowly realising what Ted means.

Henry takes a step towards him, his heart growing heavy. 

“Ted..”, Henry whispers. 

“Don’t be so weird about it”, he quietly says, his words almost drowning out under the rain. He forces a smile for about a second before he gives up again. 

There’s tears in his eyes. 

Henry reaches for Teds hand and pulls him under the little roof of the bus station nearby. 

Ted is completely drenched in rain by now, his clothes are just sticking to his skin. 

“Did you mean it?”, Henry asks. 

“Mean what?” 

Ted knows exactly what Henry is talking about and Henry knows it. Ted looks uncomfortable all of sudden, just avoiding Henrys gaze and chewing on his lip.

“You..”, Henry starts. 

Ted rolls his eyes, almost playful, though he’s probably just trying to overplay how broken he is. 

“Come on. If I died, you’d be fine.” 

“I wouldn’t.” 

“Whatever.” 

He wants to leave, just dive back into the rain, but Henry quickly pulls him back. 

“Ted, you-” 

“I told you to leave me alone.” 

“No.” 

“What?” 

“No. I just want to talk, please?” 

“Maybe I don’t. Maybe I want to be alone.” 

“I’m sorry. I never listen, did you forget?” 

Ted stops for a moment, then he lightly shakes his head. 

“You..” 

“I don’t care what you tell me in order to drive me away, this time I’m not leaving.” 

“What if I genuinely wanted you to leave?” 

“You don’t though, do you?” 

Ted hesitates, ponders, his gaze skipping from Henry to the dorms and back. 

“No”, he quietly admits. 

It almost drowns out completely under the rain drumming onto the roof above them. 

But Henry heard it. 

He’s so relieved. 

Part of him was scared that he was wrong, that Ted hates him after all and the voicemail was a weird dream. 

“Okay”, Henry says, “I’ll stay.” 

Ted lightly shakes his head. 

He just watches Henry, like he’s trying to figure something out. 

“Is that okay?”, Henry asks, stepping closer to Ted now. 

He carefully reaches for Teds face and brushes a few wet strands of hair away. 

Ted frowns. 

“Don’t.. I don’t..” 

“You deserve help.” 

He shakes his head, his expression contorting as the tears win the fight. 

“I forgive you”, Henry says, “and I hope you forgive me too because I really miss you.”

“Henry-“ 

“I’m sorry I never asked to make sure you’re okay. I should have done more.” 

He shakes his head again. 

“I don’t want this. I don’t want to be a burden.” 

He spits the word out like a slur. 

Henry frowns and shakes his head. 

“You’re not.” 

Ted sobs quietly, avoiding Henrys gaze. 

“I don’t want you to care.” 

“Why?” 

“Because one day you’ll stop and then I’m alone again. If I just push you away on my own then I can at least control it.” 

“That’s really stupid.” 

Ted laughs wistfully. “Yeah.” 

Henry hesitates, fighting with himself before he just lets himself do what he’s been wanting to do for a while. He pulls Ted into a hug, pulling him as close as possible and just resting his head in Teds neck. 

It feels good to finally do that again. 

Ted just sort of froze and Henry is already about to pull back because he’s scared that he made Ted uncomfortable when Ted relaxes and let’s himself drop against Henry. 

He wraps his arms around Henrys waist and pulls him closer, then he just lets go and breaks down. 

Henry tries to hold him steady as good as he can, caressing his back when Ted starts to struggle breathing under his sobs. 

“I’m sorry”, he mumbles, over and over again. 

“It’s okay. It’s.. You’re okay”, Henry says quietly. 

“I’m sorry, I panicked.” 

“Ted-“ 

“I think I ..didn’t want to redo the whole Paul thing.”

“I‘m sorry”, Henry says.   


This is about him having a crush on Ted, isn’t it? Ted knows. He must know, there‘s no way he believed Henrys shitty lie. For some reason that only dawns on Henry now. 

Ted knows, that‘s why he was so weird about it all. That‘s why he was so uncomfortable around Henry.   


“Shit, I’m so sorry”, Henry repeats.   


Ted shakes his head. “I don’t want to loose you”, he mutters. 

“You won’t. I’m here.”

Henry reaches for Teds face and wipes the tears away.

“You’re okay?”, he asks. 

“Yeah. Sorry”, Ted mutters, his voice breaking. 

“I love you”, Henry mumbles quietly, almost regretting it afterwards because can he still say that, now that Ted knows Henry is literally _in_ love? He doesn’t want to screw up again. 

“Hen-”

“No shut up, you’re my best friend, I’m not going to argue with you about that”, Henry quickly says, hoping it clarifies that he means it all platonically. 

“..Okay. I love you too.” 

Henry smiles lightly, resting his forehead against Teds, just taking it in for a moment. 

Ted sniffles quietly and Henry presses his eyes shut when the tears finally overwhelm him and start flowing. 

“Let’s go to our room?”, he asks. 

Ted nods. 

“Yeah okay.” 


	64. Comfort Crowd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s more talking and also some cuddling 
> 
> (and a forehead kiss bc someone asked me on tumblr if i can add more forehead kisses and yes of course I can)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of being suicidal

When they make it inside, they’re just dripping all over the floor.

Ted is shaking from the cold and it slowly dawns on Henry that he’s been outside for a while, just wearing that T-Shirt that’s still sticking to his skin like a second skin. 

It’s quite cold that day, despite it still being summer and Ted is soaked. Henry at least put on a jacket but Ted clearly has no sense of self-preservation right now. 

“Do you have a key?”, Henry asks when he notices that he didn’t bring his.

Ted nods, fumbling it out of his pocket and unlocking the door.

They step inside and kick their shoes off. 

“We should change”, Henry says. 

Ted nods lightly. 

“Yeah”, he says, “I suppose.” 

“And a warm shower probably wouldn’t hurt too”, Henry adds, watching Ted shiver. 

“Yeah.”

“Okay, you can go first if you want to.” 

“I don’t mind either.”

“You’ll go first then.”

“Okay.”

Just as Ted says that, his phone starts to ring. He checks it, frowning lightly.

“Shit”, he mumbles.

“What?”, Henry asks.

“Bri.”

“Okay?”

“I just..” He looks so stressed suddenly. 

“You don’t have to take it”, Henry notes, trying to calm him down. 

“I called her earlier and she sounded annoyed.”

“I’m sure she wasn’t.”

The phone stops ringing now. 

“Sorry”, Ted says. 

“Do you want me to talk to her for you?” 

“What?” 

“She’s probably just worried.” 

Ted scoffs quietly. “Yeah I bet she is.” 

The phone rings again and Ted takes a shaky breath before he gives up and just hands it to Henry. 

“Can you tell her I’m fine?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Thank you.”

Henry nods lightly and takes the call. 

She immediately starts talking, not really giving him the chance to tell her that he’s not Ted. 

“Hey I’m so sorry, are you okay? I can talk now, It’s just that I‘m on that date and it felt rude-“

“Hey”, Henry says

“Henry?”

“Yes. Ted’s-“

“Where is he? Is he-“

“He’s okay. He just can’t talk right now.”

He looks at Ted who’s fumbling with his hands, still discomforted. 

Henry nods towards the bathroom, trying to let Ted know that he doesn’t have to stand there and wait. 

Ted mouths another ‘thank you’ and Henry gifts him a smile, before Ted picks out a few clothes and disappears in the bathroom. 

“You’re with him?”, Bri asks. 

“Yes”, Henry says, sort of startled by her voice since Ted distracted him a little too much. 

“Oh thank god.”

“Yeah.”

“Is he really okay?”

“He will be, I think. I’m pretty sure he didn’t sleep all night and he’s drunk, so..” 

“Fuck. Do you need help? Do you want me to-“

“No, it’s okay.”

“Sure?”

“Yes. Go enjoy your date.”

“I.. okay.”

“Don’t worry.”

“Well I do worry.”

“Me too.”

“I’m.. glad you’re there.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, call me if you need anything?”

“Sure. ..thank you.”

“Okay, uhm.. bye.”

“Bye, have fun.”

“Yeah, wait.. Winona wants me to say hi to you. Like from her.”

“Oh! Uh, say hi back?”

“He says hi back”, Brianna says, her voice sounding muffled like she turned away from the phone. Then she’s back, speaking to Henry again.

“Okay, bye then. Be careful.”

“You too. Bye.”

He hangs up, putting Teds phone down on Teds nightstand table.

A view minutes later the door to the bathroom clicks open and a freshly showered Ted steps back into the room. 

He’s wearing sweatpants and a T-Shirt that’s way too big on him, making him look small despite him being a rather big guy.

“Was she worried?”, he asks, looking guilty. 

“A little, yeah.” 

“Sorry. ..Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“ ‘Kay.” 

“I’ll take a shower too, yeah?” 

Ted nods. 

Henry picks out some clothes and goes for a shower. 

When he comes back, rubbing his hair dry with a towel, Ted is sitting on his bed. 

He moved everything that was on the bed before on his chair and table and he’s just sitting there now, his back against the wall and his knees pulled to his chest. 

He was scrolling through his phone but stopped when Henry came back into the room, having put the phone down now. 

“Hi”, he says.

“Hi”, Henry answers, all awkwardly for no actual reason. 

Ted is looking at him like he wants to say something but he just stays silent, his eyes weirdly glassy again. 

Henry puts down his towel and walks over to Ted, sitting next to him now. 

He wants to say something too. 

He contemplates on how to put it for a while, he can’t deny that he’s been thinking about Teds words since they left his mouth. 

He is genuinely scared. 

He doesn’t want to loose Ted. 

Like really loose him. 

In a dead kind of way. 

“Did you really mean it?”, he therefore asks again, just to make sure. 

“What?” 

“The.. wanting to end it all thing.” 

Ted shrugs. 

“Sorry, I shouldn‘t have told you that.” 

“Yeah you should have?”

“No I didn‘t mean to tell anyone actually, I‘m sorry.”

“Ted you-“ 

“Yeah I know.” 

Henry hesitates, watching Ted now.

Ted shrugs lightly, looking at the floor or just away from Henry. He frowns and blinks and sniffles and eventually he looks up, seemingly putting a lot of effort into looking like he’s fine but he’s obviously not fine. 

He doesn’t even try to smile, he’s just trying not to cry.

“Ted-”, Henry starts again, stopping when he finds himself at a loss of words. 

“I need help”, Ted mumbles, choking it out like it took all of his energy to say that. 

“Okay.” Henry is weirdly relieved at that. Part of him expected Ted to shut off again.  
Henry can help. Or at least Henry can help find help. “Okay, I’m here, I’ll help you.” 

“I mean professional help, like..” 

“A therapist?” 

“Yeah, that. I don’t want to feel like this anymore, I.. I want help- I _need_ help.” 

He silently starts to cry again, just staring at his hands with a pained expression as the tears roll over his cheeks. 

Henry puts a hand on his shoulder, unsure about how to react until he decides to pull him close and into a hug, turning to him so he can hold him properly. 

Ted lets him, his hands reaching for Henrys sweater and holding onto it. 

“We’ll find someone for you, yeah?”, Henry says, trying to keep himself from crying. 

“I can‘t even afford a therapist.”  
Ted now sobs quietly. 

“You can go to Nancy? For free.” 

“.. I didn’t think of that.”

“Would you consider it?”

“I suppose. I don’t.. _want _to want to die” 

“That’s good. That’s good, we’ve got this, yeah?” 

“Yeah. Okay.” 

Henry pulls him closer, letting himself sink into Teds pillow eventually and just pulling him along. 

It’s quiet for a while. 

Ted is crying and Henry keeps trying to think of something he could say that might help. 

“You know, Beetlejuice was right when he said don’t end yourself, defend yourself”, he says eventually, regretting it as soon as it left his mouth. 

Ted laughs quietly, just sort of snorting under the tears. 

“You’re gonna quote Beetlejuice now?” 

“Sorry.”

”No thank you, that actually.. that actually cheered me up somehow.” 

“I- ..thank you for telling me.” 

“Thank you for listening.” 

“You can always talk to me, yeah?” 

“I don’t.. I don’t want to burden you with all of my shit.” 

“I’m fine with it.” 

“It’s a lot though.” 

“Ted, I’d rather have you tell me stuff than have you dead.”

“That’s.. yeah. Okay.” 

“I’d tell you if it got too much”, Henry says, “But right now I’m fine with it if you want to talk. And as soon as college starts again you can talk to Nancy, I bet she’ll be more help than me.” 

Ted nods lightly. 

“This feels good, actually. Talking about it.” 

“Better than ignoring it and pushing everybody away?” 

Ted smiles. “Too soon.” 

“Sorry.” 

Ted pulls himself closer to Henry and Henry turns his head to him, initially to push a kiss on his forehead. He hesitates before his lips can hit Teds skin, unsure about whether or not Ted would be fine with it. 

“Shit, I missed you so much”, Ted mumbles, “I’m so sorry.” 

Henry gives in and places the kiss where it belongs, right above Teds brows. 

Ted closes his eyes and leans into it, clinging to Henry like he’s scared he’ll leave if he lets go. 

“You should sleep”, Henry says quietly. 

“I’m not tired.” 

“Yeah you are.” 

“Maybe a little.” 

“Sleep then. I’ll stay here.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“How long have you been awake?” 

“I don’t know. 24 hours at the most.” 

“Sure?” 

“Maybe a little bit more.” 

“Just sleep.” 

“There’s still so much I wanna say to you. There’s-“ 

“I’ll be here when you wake up, you can tell me then.” 

Ted hesitates, then he gives in and nods. “Okay.” 

He closes his eyes again and buries his head under Henrys chin. 

“Good night”, Henry whispers. 

“Night”, Ted just mutters, already drifting off, finally letting himself go. 

It doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep. His grip on Henrys T-Shirt softens and he starts to snore quietly.He’s just loosely laying in Henrys arms and Henry exhales slowly, trying to process everything that happened that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brinona :)


	65. Come Home With Me ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more talking? yes!

Ted sleeps for a while. 

Henry joins him for a bit, but he’s awake most of the time, just playing with Teds hair or thinking or both. 

He untangles himself from Teds grip and gets up eventually, carefully placing a pillow in Teds arms instead. 

He’s really hungry and decides to get some food, for himself and for Ted. 

He leaves, settling on pizza on the way, because pizza still tastes good when it‘s cold and he doesn’t know when Ted will wake up. 

He also gets himself a coffee because laying around for half the day made him really tired. 

Dean isn’t working anymore and Henry is glad about it.  
He doesn‘t hate Dean, it‘s just that he really wouldn‘t have known how to talk to him. 

He gets himself a coffee and Ted a chai iced tea, because he roughly remembers Ted telling him that drinking hot drinks in summer is ‘literally hell’ and therefore he always switches to iced tea as the temperatures rise. 

  
Ted is awake when Henry gets back.  
At least he’s not in his bed anymore and about a minute after Henry came inside and set everything down, Ted comes out of the bathroom, looking slightly less tired. 

“Hey”, he says, seeming surprised. 

“Hey?”, Henry answers. 

“You’re back?” 

“Yeah. I told you I wouldn’t leave.” 

“Wouldn’t have blamed you if you had left anyway.” 

“I was hungry, I brought food.” 

Henry hands Ted his iced tea and settles down on the floor, opening the pizza boxes. 

Ted is just standing there, staring at him. 

“Are you hungry?”, Henry asks, looking up now. 

“I.. yeah, I’m just..” 

He hesitantly sits down on the floor, seemingly giving up on talking. 

“Are you alright?”, Henry asks. 

“Yeah, just hungover.” 

“Oh.” 

“But, uhm.. I’m sober now so.. I’m sorry”, he says. 

“No, I’m sorry”, Henry quickly says, still feeling rather guilty about literally everything. 

“I’m.. sorry-er.” 

“I’m always twice as sorry as you.” 

Ted smiles. “Shut up.” 

Henry smiles too. “No.” 

Ted looks up, watching Henry for a bit before he starts again.

“Really, I’m so sorry. I was in a bad place and I let it out on you because I don’t know how to solve my problems in a healthy way and that was just-” 

“Stop apologising, I mean it.” 

“I’m just.. really sorry.” 

“I know”, Henry says. “But it’s fine. Just don’t say stuff like that to me again and we’re good.” 

“I won’t. Let’s.. let’s never do any of that again.” 

“Yeah, let’s never fight again.” 

Ted nods. “And let’s never kiss again, that was stupid anyway.” 

Henry nods quickly, hoping that Ted doesn’t see him blush. 

It’s for the best, he knows that. 

He doesn’t even want that anymore, he thinks. 

He just wants back whatever they had before the party. 

Besides, Ted is a mess right now, it would feel wrong to time a grand love confession now. 

He’ll get over his feelings, as long as he has his best friend back. 

“I’m sorry I kissed you”, Henry says, “You were right, I destroyed everything.”

Ted shakes his head. 

“You didn’t. I destroyed it when I panicked and pushed you away instead of just talking to you.” 

“Still, I.. made you very uncomfortable. I’m sorry about that.” 

“It’s okay. You didn’t exactly force it on me, I could have easily stopped it. I mean you even asked.” 

“Why didn’t you stop it?” 

“I don’t know. You’re a good kisser?” 

Henry blushes. “Shut up, I’m not.” 

“Yeah you are. You kissed my neck and tugged on my hair and my brain just stopped working. You knowhow to make a man weak.” 

Henry blushes even harder now, avoiding Teds gaze. 

“Sorry”, he fumbles out. 

“Let’s just forget it.” 

“I’m sorry about the whole evening, really.” 

“No, it was fine. I mean on the way back here you were very dedicated to showering me with compliments, so that wasn’t too bad.”

“Oh god, don’t remind me.” 

“Did you mean it?” 

“That you’re handsome? Duh.” 

Ted laughs quietly and Henry smiles now because this almost feels like before the fight. 

Henry missed this. 

Ted sips on his iced tea now and closes his eyes for a moment, silently relishing it. 

“Thank you for this”, he says. 

“Was it right?” 

He nods, reaching for a slice of pizza now. 

“Of course.” 

— 

“I saw Dean this morning”, Henry says, still sitting on the floor and leaning against his bed. 

He’s playing with his empty coffee cup, looking at Ted, who was just refolding the empty pizza boxes. 

Ted stops and looks up. 

“Yeah?” 

He looks guilty. 

“You should probably apologise to him, you know?”

Ted nods. 

“I know. I think I called him last night and broke up. I don’t fully remember.” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Why did you sleep with him again?” 

Ted shrugs. 

“I wanted some dopamine?” 

“Dopadean”, Henry mumbles. 

“Deanpamine”, Ted says. 

“Mine was better.” 

“Yeah.” 

Henry smiles lightly and so does Ted. 

It’s quiet for a while, then Ted starts talking again. 

“I really fucked up with him, I should.. I don’t know. He deserved better.” 

“Yeah, I suppose.” 

“I wasn’t even honest. I told him, I’m still in love with you and that’s why I wanna stop.” 

“That’s not true, is it?” 

“No, it was a tiramisu thing. I wanted to give him a more satisfying reason than the fact that I just straight up don‘t have feelings for him.“ 

“Do you think it worked?” 

“I think he’s mad at you now.” 

“Yeah, he was a little mad.” 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“So..” 

“So?” 

“Stu?” 

Henry shrugs lightly. 

“Stu”, he says. 

“Stu..”, Ted says. 

“What about him?”, Henry asks. 

“I’m.. I wanna apologise. For telling you not to date him. That was.. I don’t know what that was.” 

“Why did you?” 

“I think I was jealous? He got to spend time with you and I didn’t. I’m sorry, that was really shitty. I’m happy for you guys, actually. You deserve someone good.” 

“We’re not.. dating.” 

“Oh. ..would have been nice though.” 

“Yeah, would have been. Could have been.” 

“Why not?” 

“He’s leaving in a few weeks for a year and said he doesn’t want to start anything.” 

“Oh. ..shit.” 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” 

“Is it?” 

“I’ll get over it.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Yeah.”

“You really liked him?”

“I did, I think. I still do.”

“That sucks. Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, I wasn’t in that deep. Maybe someday it’ll work out.” 

“Yeah.. yeah.” 

Henry nods lightly, unsure about what else he is supposed to say. 

He settles on silence because Ted is rather silent too. 

“You really did want to live in that house, huh?”, Ted asks after a while, his tone a mix between joking and sincerity. 

Henry smiles. “Shut up.” 

“You really went for it on that party.”

“I can’t believe I did that.”

“It’s hilarious if you think about it.”

“It’s embarrassing.” 

Ted smiles. 

Then it’s quiet again, but it’s a comfortable silence. 

Henry wants to ask Ted about his mom but he doesn’t want to make it all sad again. And Ted seems sort of fine right now, Henry doesn’t want to push him back down. 

His phone vibrates and he checks it, finding two texts from Frankie. 

‘still with Stu?’ 

‘when are u coming back?’

Henry looks at Ted, watching him for a moment, as he tries to get an ice cube out of his cup and into his mouth. 

“Do you wanna come home with me?”, he eventually blurts out. 

Ted looks up, letting his cup sink. 

“What?” 

“You can’t just stay here all alone.” 

“Technically I can.” 

“Well shutting off didn’t exactly help your mental health, did it?” 

Ted shrugs. “No?” 

“So..?” 

“Do you really want that? I don’t wanna be-“ 

“You’re not a burden.” 

Ted hesitates. “Sure?” 

“Yes.” 

“Your parents would be fine with that?” 

“Yes.” 

“And Frankie?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And you?” 

“Ted..” 

“Sorry, I just..” 

“If you don’t want to, you can say that. But if you do then please come with me.” 

“..Okay.” 

“Okay? Like you’re coming?” 

Ted nods lightly, still seeming unsure. 

“Okay”, Henry says. 

— 

It’s late when they get home because Ted still had to pack a few things and the bus schedules are shit. 

It’s around eleven pm when Henry unlocks the door and because his parents are early risers (and sleepers for that matter) they seem to be already sleeping. 

It’s all dark and quiet in the corridor, but Henry saw that the lights in Frankie’s room were on from outside, so her and Charlotte must still be awake. 

“Henry?”, Frankie asks from upstairs, confirming his assumption. “Is that you?”, she whisper-shouts. 

“Yeah”, Henry says. 

He can hear her come closer now, stumbling down the stairs. 

“Listen, I’m sorry I forced you to come, I shouldn’t have. Are you-“

She stops when she sees Ted. 

“Oh”, she then whispers. 

“Hi”, Ted says, awkwardly. 

“Hi”, Frankie says, profoundly confused. 

“Ted will stay here for a while”, Henry loosely explains. 

“You’re friends again?” 

“Uh, yeah.” 

“Oh! That’s good!” 

She smiles brightly. 

“Yeah”, Henry says again. 

“So..”, she says, “I’ll go back upstairs then.” 

“Yeah us too.” 

“Cool.” 

“Cool.” 

She leaves and Henry and Ted kick their shoes off before following. 

They go into Henrys room and Ted sets his bag down. 

“Sorry, it’s a little messy”, Henry says, when he notices the impact his sorrow and following carelessness had on the state of his room. 

“_This _ is messy?”, Ted asks. 

“Yes?” 

Ted just shakes his head, smiling lightly. 

“So do you need anything? Toothbrush? Clothes?”, Henry goes on. 

“No, I‘m good.” 

“Okay.”

Ted nods lightly. “Okay.” 

It’s kind of awkward, the whole situation. Henry doesn’t even know why, it’s just that both of them act awkward and that makes it awkward. 

Henry wishes they could just go back to how it was. 

Maybe they can, at some point. 

He hopes they can. 

— 

When they lay in bed, they don’t cuddle. 

It’s weird to not be cuddled up against Ted when he’s right there. 

Ted was usually the one who initiated it and he just didn’t when they laid down. So neither did Henry. 

Part of him is still scared to do anything wrong, he’s so scared he’ll make Ted uncomfortable. 

He’s been thinking a lot, about everything Ted said and about the morning after the party. 

He came to the conclusion that Ted really knows that Henry is a little bit in love with him.  
It was just an idea at first, but the more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes. 

Henry sort of told Ted he likes him and Ted panicked and left. 

This is exactly what happened between Ted and Paul. 

This is what Ted was trying to tell him when he said he didn’t wanna redo the Paul-thing, Henry thinks. 

And now it feels like they have an unspoken agreement to not talk about it and just be friends.   
They agreed on that when they said they’d never kiss again.   
Right? 

And if Henry is being honest, it makes him feel a little weird.

He doesn’t want Ted to know about his stupid feelings. 

Now he’s just moving around on eggshells, trying to prove to Ted that he can very much be his friend and his friend only.

Ted is just laying on the other side of the bed, already drifting off to sleep.

Henry can’t sleep yet, his thoughts are still racing. 

Stu texted him earlier that night, just asking if Henry found Ted and if he’s alright. Henry said yes and apologised again for leaving so soon. Stu said it was fine and there’s nothing to apologise for. 

Henry really wishes he could stop feeling guilty about literally everything he ever did. 

He does manage to fall asleep eventually. 


	66. Another Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there‘s no plot, they just cuddle for most of the chapter you’re welcome

Henry wakes up early the next morning, because it’s way too warm in his room. 

He pushes the blanket off himself and looks over to Ted, almost reflexive, maybe to make sure he’s still there. 

Ted is asleep, laying on his belly and hugging his pillow.

This Ted is so peaceful in contrast to the Ted who broke down by the lake the day before. 

It’s kind of nice to see him relaxed again. Even if it’s just because he’s not conscious and therefore doesn’t have time to worry about literally everything. 

Henry forces himself to look away because he’s not a creep and can very much refuse to stare at Ted while he’s sleeping, even _if _he looks a little bit cute with his face all smushed against the pillow. 

Ted stirs now, then he flinches lightly. 

His slow, snoring breathing stopped and he seems to be awake now. He pushes himself up on his elbows, burying his face in his hands and rubbing his eyes for a moment. 

He takes a slow, shaky breath and lets himself sink back into his pillow. 

He throws a quick glance at Henry, not noticing that Henry is very much awake. Or if he noticed, he didn’t let it show. 

He turns away from Henry now, pushing the blanket off himself and into the middle of the bed.  
He ends up building a little wall between them as Henry did the exact same thing earlier. 

They lay there for a while and Henry keeps waiting for Ted to fall asleep again because he usually does that but now he doesn’t seem to. 

“Ted?”, Henry whispers eventually. 

Ted flinches and turns to Henry. He looks tired and uneasy again. 

“Yeah?”

“I just.. wanted to know if you’re awake.” 

“I am.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, fine.” 

“Sure?” 

“Yeah.” 

Henry decides to leave it at that and nods lightly. 

“Okay, if you say so.” 

Ted nods as well. 

It’s quiet for a while. 

Henry isn’t sure if that means that they’ll try sleeping again or if they are just taking a break from talking. 

“Hen?”, Ted then asks. 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you.. can we..” He sighs quietly, seeming nervous for some reason. “I know we said we wouldn’t kiss anymore but..” 

“Do you want to kiss?”, Henry blurts out. 

“No! No.. I was just wondering if that includes cuddling?” 

“I.. I mean I don’t think so? If you want to cuddle then we can.” 

“Sure? Are you okay with that?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You were kind of withdrawn and-“ 

“Because I didn’t want to make _you _uncomfortable”, Henry admits. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah..” 

“So we can?” 

“If you want to.” 

As Henry finishes saying that, Ted is already in the process of pushing the blanket wall behind himself, sliding closer to Henry. 

Henry opens his arms and there Ted is, cuddled against Henry again. 

Henry can feel Teds heart pounding against his rips, a little too fast. 

“Are you really okay?”, he whispers. 

Ted shrugs lightly. 

“I’m slightly better? That’s something?” 

“Yeah, that’s.. good.” 

“You know, you don’t have to care for me like _this_.”

“Is _this _bad?” 

“No. It’s just..” 

“You don’t want to be a burden?” 

“Yeah and you’re not my therapist. I don’t want you to have to do this.” 

“I can do it.” 

“But can you?” 

“I can handle it.” 

Ted lightly shakes his head. 

“I’ll be fine, I’ll survive.” 

“I’m not going to force you to talk to me, I just want you to know that you can.” 

“Okay. Thank you.” 

“You don’t want to talk right now, do you?”, Henry asks, having noticed Teds very short answers. 

“It’s just... king of exhausting sometimes? Not because of you, it’s-“ 

“It’s okay.” 

“‘Kay.” 

“Let’s just not talk.” 

Ted nods lightly. 

“Just..” 

“Yeah?” 

“Hold me?” 

“I am.” 

“Can you just squeeze?” 

Henry smiles and pulls Ted as close as he can. “You’re weird.”

“Mmh.” Ted nuzzles his head further into Henrys neck. 

So there they are. 

And Henry‘s hands are slightly clammy and his heart is racing and there‘s that tingly feeling in his belly. 

Foolish as he is, he really thought he stopped being in love. Or he didn‘t think it. But he hoped. 

He doesn’t want to fuck it up again just because he highkey wants Ted to be his boyfriend. 

Ted doesn‘t need him to confess his love right now, Ted needs a friend and therapy.

Henry just lays there for a while and tries to regulate his heart so Ted can‘t hear it punching full speed against Henrys ribcage. He‘s not sure if it works, it probably doesn’t.

“Ted?”, he whispers eventually. 

“Mh?” 

“When does the sun rise?”

“I don’t know. Soon?” 

“Do you want to watch it?”

He can feel Ted smile into his neck. 

“Where?” 

“I’ll show you. Not outside.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay, come on.” 

Henry untangles himself from Ted and sits up.

He reaches for Teds hand and pulls him up out of the bed after himself.

Ted doesn’t let go so Henry decides to just go with it and leads Ted out of his room and through the corridor.

They climb up into the attic and Ted looks around as soon as he’s inside, his jaw dropping. 

“Woah”, he mumbles. 

Henry walks over to the couch while Ted takes his time, looking at all the paintings. 

“Who made these?”, he asks. 

“My mom.” 

“I love this one”, he says and points at the painting of Mr. Humbugger sitting on a throne. 

Henry smiles lightly.

He looks out of the window for a moment, noticing that the sky already got lighter. 

“Come”, he says, dropping himself onto the couch. 

Ted comes over to him, sitting down next to him and pulling his knees to his chest, hugging them. 

“You remembered?”, he asks quietly. 

“I mean, yeah.” 

How could Henry not remember? 

He thinks about Ted literally all the time, absorbing everything Ted tells him like a drug. 

Ted smiles lightly, looking to him now. 

He seems to want to say something but eventually decides against it. 

Then he looks back at the sun and they just sit like that for a while, Ted watching the sunrise and Henry watching mostly Ted but also the sunrise, whenever he remembers what he’s actually supposed to look at. 

He’s glad that Ted is back. 

Because yeah, he might still be very much in love and yearning isn’t fun but being with Ted feels homey. 

It’s comfortable, it’s easy. 

Henry doesn’t really have to worry about how to act. He could sit next to Ted forever and be fine with it. With other people he always needs a break at some point, his socialising energy having run out. 

But with Ted it never seems to do so. 

Henry almost forgot about that when they were apart but now that he has that feeling back, he realises how much he missed it, how much it actually relaxes him to have someone like Ted around. 

Henry always found being with Stu calming and it is, but it’s different. 

Stu calmed him down, but Henry isn’t sure if he could have been with him like this. 

Just sitting in silence for minutes, hours. 

Stu is social, Stu didn’t want it to be quiet, so he would talk, tell Henry things, sometimes utterly insignificant things just to fill the silence. 

Henry always liked it because it distracted him from thinking. 

It’s only now that he‘s sitting there with Ted, that he realises that even with Stu, Henry always needed time alone at some point. 

They’re different and Henry always thought that was a good thing. Maybe it is, he’s not really sure. 

Maybe him and Ted being like this isn’t ideal either, maybe it’s good for people to want to spend time alone every now and then. 

But Henry doesn’t really care about what people are supposed to do, he likes being with Ted like this, he likes sitting in silence with him. Ted and Henry can be alone together and that feels nice sometimes. 

“Thank you”, Ted mumbles after a while. 

Henry smiles lightly. 

“How are you now?” 

Ted shrugs. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Better or worse?” 

“It’s not really.. I don’t know how to describe it. There’s no reason for me to feel like shit but I just do.” 

“You just do?” 

“I just-.. feel empty?” 

“Okay.” 

“Like.. it’s like I keep loosing my happiness, it just slips through my fingers, no matter how hard I try to hold it and then there‘s no feeling left.” 

Henry nods lightly. 

“Okay.” 

“Do you ever feel like that?” 

“I think so?” 

“What do you do about it?” 

“Usually I just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling until it passes.” 

”Huh.” 

“We can.. stare at the ceiling together, if you want to?” Henry tries to help. 

“..Yeah, let’s try that.” 

“‘Kay”, Henry whispers, laying down and patting the space next to himself as Ted moves over and settles down. 

They barely fit next to each other on that couch when they both lay on their backs, so Henry wraps his arm around Ted to keep him from falling, which isn’t as comfortable as he thought it would be. Eventually he gives up and pushes himself on his side instead, having decided that he stared at that ceiling often enough and is better off just holding Ted instead. 

Ted moves closer to Henry and Henry takes it as an invitation to fully cuddle against him. 

Ted wraps his arms around him which is honestly exactly the kind of approval Henry was hoping for. 

“This okay?”, he quietly asks anyway. 

“Yeah”, Ted whispers.

“Okay.” 

Henry closes his eyes, feeling tired again. 

“How is it?”, he asks. 

“What?” 

“Staring at the ceiling?” 

Ted laughs quietly. 

“It’s great. It’s a nice ceiling.” 

“Yeah, it’s a good one.” 

Henry feels Ted press a kiss on his forehead and can’t help but smile. 

He opens his eyes again. 

“I thought no kisses?”, he teases. 

“Just on the mouth”, Ted claims. 

“Mh-hm.” 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

They lay there for a while, like maybe for an hour or maybe just for about ten minutes, Henry looses his concept of time when he’s with Ted so he’s not sure. 

Henry keeps almost dozing off but startles awake for no reason every time.

After either an hour or ten minutes or a completely different amount of time, Ted pulls up his hand and starts playing with Henrys hair and it takes every bit of self control Henry has in himself to keep himself from sighing contently. 

Why does people touching your hair feel so nice anyway? There’s no reason for that, good god. 

“Henry?”, Ted whispers. 

“Yes?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You already apologised.” 

“Well, I.. still feel really guilty. Besides, you deserve an apology when I’m neither drunk nor hungover which I am only now.” 

“I forgive you.” 

“You can’t just say that so recklessly.” 

“Well I did, what are you gonna do about it?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Are you alright?” 

“I just keep thinking about it all.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

“It’s like.. you know I’m.. not good at expressing my feelings.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And being in situations where I have to do so makes me really anxious for some reason because I always feel like if I say something wrong I will loose.. you or someone who is important to me.” 

“You won’t though?”

“No I will, that’s the point. Every time I somehow end up saying literally the worst possible thing I could say. Like what the fuck is wrong with me?” 

“Nothing is wrong with you.” 

“Yeah it is.” 

“Well I said stupid things too.” 

“No?”

“I said I hate you.” 

“..I blame that on me.” 

“What?” 

“You did hate me in that moment, didn’t you? And you honestly had every reason to do that so I don’t blame you, it’s on me.” 

“This doesn’t even make sense?” 

“Yes it does.” 

“No _I_ chose to say that. I wanted you to leave me alone so I.. said that. I didn’t hate you, I could never. I was mad at you and I _wanted_ to hate you but I didn’t and I’m really sorry I said it. None of it was your fault.” 

“Okay”, Ted says quietly, not sounding convinced. 

“I don’t hate you, I promise.” 

“Sure?” 

“I cried like every day when we weren’t talking.” 

Ted looks at Henry now, a sad smile forming on his lips. 

“Me too”, he admits quietly. 

“Yeah?” 

“Duh. It was horrible.” 

Henry smiles lightly. 

“Yeah, tell me about it.” 

Ted stops caressing Henrys hair now and instead reaches forward to push some strands of hair out of his face. 

“You aren’t doing that bad at expressing your feelings right now, you know?”, Henry just keeps talking, trying to hide how flustered it made him when the tips of Teds fingers brushed his temple. 

Being in love and a little bit horny truly is a struggle. 

“Thanks, I’m concentrating like really hard. I usually plan it out in my head beforehand”, Ted says. 

“You.. really?” 

“Yes?” 

“You prepare speeches in your head when you wanna express your feelings?” 

“You don‘t?” 

“Not really. I only practice my order in a restaurant and stuff like that.” 

“Yeah that’s.. I do that too.” 

“Everybody does, right?” 

“Probably.” 

It’s silent for a moment, then Ted quietly starts again. 

“Do you ever just lie about things because it’s easier? Like it’s.. more comfortable than being all out in the open and vulnerable.” 

Henry watches Ted, thinking about how he lied to him about his feelings for months now because of that exact reason. 

“Yeah”, he mumbles, “Making yourself vulnerable is terrifying.”

“It is!”

“Is there something you want to say but you don’t because you’re scared?”, Henry asks, his heart beating treacherously fast. 

“So much”, Ted admits. 

“To me?” 

“To a lot of people.” 

“Maybe you should just get it over with.” 

Ted stares at Henry for a moment, almost for a little too long, before he hesitantly looks away. 

“Probably.” 

“So?” 

“What?” 

“What do you want to say?” 

“Nothing. I don’t know.” 

“Sure?” 

“No.” 

“Okay, uhm.. What do you think about me?” 

Ted looks at Henry, raising an eyebrow. 

“Someone’s digging for compliments?” 

“You can criticise me too if you want to. I’m just trying to get you to open up.” 

“There’s nothing about you to criticise.” 

“Shut up, of course there is.” 

“No, I like everything about you”, Ted says. 

It’s quiet for a moment as Henrys face heats up under Ted’s gaze. 

What now? 

What does that even mean? 

Are they just going to kiss? 

Henry would be down. 

But they said no more kisses on the mouth, he then remembers. 

“Sorry. Now I fucked up and made it awkward”, Ted quietly adds. 

“No, that was very nice.” 

“I swear I meant it in a platonic way. I’m not.. I love you but like..” 

Henry watches Ted, sort of feeling guilty because this is his fault, isn’t it? Ted knows Henry likes him and now they can’t express affection without having to clarify anymore. 

I’m sorry, Henry thinks, I’m sorry that I drunkenly let you know that I’m in love with you and now everything is weird. 

“No homo”, Henry quietly jokes instead, trying to lighten the mood.

Ted turns away, a smile on his lips. 

Henry is weirdly relieved at Ted turning away. 

Because Henry was way too close to kissing Ted, just a few seconds away, if he’s being honest (but he’s not going to be honest, because he’s really good at lying by now so he might as well lie).


	67. I‘m Quite Alright Hiding Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted tells Henry about his mom and then they take a nap together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of broken bone  
\- mention of M*son

When they go back down, they run into Charlotte who is just coming out of the bathroom. 

Her face lights up upon seeing Ted. 

“Frankie said you’re here!” 

She just hugs him.

“Hey, how are you?”, Ted asks.

“I’m alright, did I tell you about my dad?” 

Henry just sort of leaves them to it and goes to Frankies room. 

“Hi”, he says. 

She looks up and smiles.

“I can’t believe you got your shit together.” 

“If you’re gonna be mean, I’ll leave.” 

“No wait, sorry. I’m happy for you two.” 

“Thanks?” 

“What happened?” 

“We talked it out.” 

“Huh. I didn’t dare to ask yesterday but are you now..?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“..dating?” 

“What?” 

“I thought-“ 

“No!”

“I thought you had a fight because you two love each other and are too stupid to say it?” 

“No? We just had a fight. A friendly fight.” 

“What the fuck is a friendly fight?” 

“It’s.. when you fight about non-romantic stuff.”

“Oh god.” 

“Please stop thinking we’re in love.” 

“Okay? ..sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“Where is Ted?” 

“Talking to your girlfriend.” 

Frankie smiles. 

“Okay.” 

“What?” 

“It just sounds nice.” 

“Girlfriend?” 

She smiles even brighter. “Yes.”

“You’re sweet.”

“She’s sweet.” 

“Okay. Did you have breakfast yet?” 

“Yeah. Mom and dad are still downstairs.”

“Okay, we’re going too I think.” 

“Have fun.” 

“Yeah thanks.” 

— 

Henry and Ted just sort of retreated back in Henrys room after they spent half an hour eating breakfast with Henrys dad who kept asking Ted questions. 

He meant well, of course and Ted kept trying to answer all politely but Henry could see how tired it all made him so eventually he excused them and took Ted back upstairs. 

“Sorry”, he says, closing the door behind himself. 

“No it’s okay. He’s nice, it’s not his fault that I’m mentally exhausted.” 

“I guess.” 

Ted just walks over to Henrys bed and sits down. Henry sits next to him and Ted soon sinks onto his back, just staring against the ceiling again. 

“How are you?”, Henry asks again. 

“Exactly how I was when you last asked me.” 

“Sorry.” 

“No, I’m sorry. Thank you for asking.” 

Ted reaches for Henrys hand now, looking at it for a moment, before frowning. 

“Hey when did you get the cast off?” 

“You only noticed now?” 

“To be honest I forgot it was there for a bit.” 

Henry smiles. 

“A few days after the party, I think.” 

“Did you keep it?” 

“No.”

“Huh.” 

Ted turns Henrys hand now, looking at the inner side of his wrist at the soft scar that Henrys bone left when it pierced through his skin. 

“There’s a scar”, he comments. 

“Yeah.” 

“That sucks, sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m trying not to think about what could have happened as much. Maybe someday I’ll be able to look at it and only remember that I made it out.” 

“Yeah. I mean you did. You badass.” 

Henry smiles. 

“It’s nice to think about how he’s in prison and probably having a really bad time.” 

“I hope he’s having the worst time.” 

“Me too.” 

It’s quiet for a while and Ted slowly lets Henrys hand go, placing it back in his lap. 

A phone rings and Ted sits up, looking around for his phone in Henrys bed until he finds it. 

He looks at it, then he puts it back down, not taking the call. 

“Who is it?”, Henry asks. 

“My mom. She’s.. calling.” 

“And?” 

“I don’t want to talk to her right now.” 

“Oh.“ 

Henry slowly remembers the fight between Ted and his mom. He watches Ted for a moment, trying to decide whether he should ask about it or not. 

“What happened?”, he asks eventually, adding a quick “If you don’t mind me asking”, just so Ted knows he doesn’t have to talk if he doesn’t want to. 

“We had a fight.” 

“About what?” 

“I.. It was a lot.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I don’t know. You’re gonna think it’s stupid.” 

“No I won’t.” 

“But it is stupid, I think it’s stupid.” 

“Well you clearly care, so it can’t be that stupid.” 

Ted chuckles sadly, shrugging. 

“It makes me sound like an asshole.” 

“You’re not though, are you?” 

“Huh?” 

“An asshole?” 

“I mean I probably am. I’m mad at my mom because she moved on, how petty is that?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“I don’t have the right to feel like this.” 

“You have the right to feel however you feel.” 

Ted shrugs lightly. 

“If you.. If you had a son and you and his dad were divorced and you met someone new, you’d tell your son, right?”, he asks, sounding hurt. 

“She didn’t tell you?” 

Ted shakes his head. 

“She’s been dating that woman for a solid _year_, Hen. My mom had a girlfriend for a year and she only told me now. She only.. she didn’t even mean to tell me, I just overheard a phone call and later asked her about it.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I’m so mad at her, I feel like I shouldn’t be. I should be happy for her.” 

“That’s okay. People need time to get used to new things.” 

“It’s not even that. Like.. I want her to have someone and be happy but-..”, he frowns lightly and shrugs and blinks.

“If you wanna cry, go ahead”, Henry mumbles, having noticed how much Ted is working on not crying. 

“I don’t _want_ to.” 

“If you _need_ to cry, go ahead”, Henry rephrases his sentence. 

A tear tumbles over Teds cheek and he shrugs again. 

“She moved on”, he finally mutters, “but without me.” 

Henry doesn’t know what to say so he just reaches for Teds hand, caressing the palm. 

“My dad too, you know? They‘re moving on from each other and they’re forgetting about me. They’re just.. leaving me behind because all I am is the link between them, right? They don‘t want anything to do with each other anymore but what about me? I‘m still here, I-“ 

He sniffles now and runs the back of his hand over his cheeks. 

Henry can’t take it anymore to just sit there when Ted is right in his hugging range. 

He pushes himself closer and pulls Ted into his arms. 

Ted leans into the hug, resting his nose on Henrys shoulder. 

“I think they like me best outside their field of vision”, he whispers against Henrys T-Shirt. 

“Did they say that?” 

“No. I mean my dad’s been a piece of shit ever since I came out but I sort of thought my mom still likes me at least. But being with her is like being alone. She never really looks at me, she acts like I’m not there at all sometimes.” 

“But she did call you.” 

“She did, yeah.” 

“So she does care.” 

“I guess?” 

“I get it though, I think. I’d be mad too.” 

“It just feels like she didn’t plan to include me in her new life. But I want to be in it, she’s my mom. I don’t want to loose her too.” 

Henry pulls away now and reaches for Teds face, wiping the tears away. 

“Maybe you guys should talk.” 

Ted shrugs. 

“Probably. I just don’t want.. if she doesn’t want me in her life, I don’t want to force it.” 

“Good god, you’re her son, Ted.” 

“Yeah?” 

“She’s not going to spend twenty years raising you just to throw you away.” 

“Maybe she realised that she fucked up.” 

“Ted-“ 

“No, for real. Maybe she wants to try again and do better this time. Her girlfriend has a younger kid, so that’s the perfect opportunity isn’t it?” 

Henry just lightly shakes his head. 

“If she wanted you out of her life, she wouldn’t call you.” 

“Yeah..” 

“How often does she call?” 

“Every.. two or three days?” 

“She’s probably worried.” 

Ted scoffs quietly. 

“I mean it”, Henry says. 

“I’ll talk to her eventually”, Ted gives in. 

“At some point you’ll have to accept that people do in fact want you in their life”, Henry notes. 

Ted laughs cheerlessly. “Yeah.” 

He wipes the tears away again, taking a shaky breath. 

“Sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying so much these days.” 

“It’s okay. That’s healthy, actually. It lets you release endorphins and that eases pain so..”

Ted smiles lightly, watching Henry now. 

“Also”, Henry keeps going, “crying is literally natural skincare. There’s proteins in emotional tears that are good for your skin.” 

Ted laughs quietly. “Really?” 

“Yeah.” Henry smiles and reaches for Teds cheeks, letting his thumbs wander over his skin. “So smooth.” 

Ted laughs and reaches up to his face to feel for himself. 

“Okay, I thought you were bullshitting me but that actually is smoother than it was before”, he says. 

“I wouldn’t lie about that.” 

“You could tell me any biological fact and I’d have to believe you because I don’t know anything and you know it.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Yeah.”

“Also you’re such a nerd, shit.” 

“Sorry.” 

“No, I love that for you.”

“Do you now?”

“Yeah. It’s not a surprise that Stu is into you, you know?” 

“I don’t know about that.” 

“What, he’s not?” 

“I’m not sure?” 

“You said he’s leaving but that doesn’t have to mean he wouldn’t want to be with you if he stayed.” 

“Yeah.. he said if we‘re both still single when he comes back, he’ll ask me out.” 

“Oh, he’s head over heels then.” 

“What? No?” 

“How stupid would he be if he wasn’t?” 

“A lot of people aren’t into me, are all of them stupid?” 

“Yes, obviously.” 

“You too then?” 

Ted smiles lightly. “Apparently.” 

Ted should just date Henry, in Henrys opinion. Ted knows Henry likes him, right? If he wanted to date, he could just say it. 

“Do you wanna do something?”, Henry changes the topic before he can die from getting too flustered. 

“Like what?” 

“Watch a movie? Go for a walk? I don’t know.” 

“To be honest, I’m exhausted.” 

“We could take a nap.” 

Ted smiles. “We?” 

“Unless you want to be alone. I can give you space if you want that.” 

“No it’s fine, I like you here.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Sappy”, he mumbles. 

“Shut up.” 

Henry gets up now and closes the curtains, making the room at least a little bit darker. 

Then he goes back and drops himself on the bed, opening his arms for Ted. 

“Come here.” 

Ted crawls over and let’s himself sink down in a Henrys arms, halfway on top of him. 

“Night?”, he whispers. 

Henry smiles and rests his arms around Teds soft frame. “Night.” 

— 

Henry only dozes for a bit, not really able to fall asleep. 

Ted was gone about five minutes after they laid down and Henry can’t deny that he got really bored about half an hour in.

He just kind of stares at the ceiling, trying his best to not get too mesmerised by Teds smell or the way his hair tickles in Henrys neck or the way his breath hits Henrys skin or the feeling of Teds heavy body wrapped safely in Henrys arms. 

Henry is overwhelmed. 

He sort of thought he was over Ted because he kind of fell for Stu. 

He was wrong - obviously - and now he’s so overwhelmed. 

Now Henry has a crush on two people and it’s a mess. 

To be fair, Ted is not a crush anymore. Henry hates to admit it but Ted is far more than that. 

Stu is a crush. 

Henrys feelings for Stu are still tender. Henry hasn’t fallen yet, he’s just stumbling, a careful stumble. It’s almost like a dance. 

With Ted, Henry is just laying face down on the floor, having fallen a while ago. Every now and then the floor will disappear and he will fall even deeper, into a depth that he didn’t know would be there, a depth that he didn’t think was possible. 

So that is fun. 

Henry spends about a minute carefully pushing himself out from under Ted, slipping off the bed, without waking Ted up. 

He leaves the room and closes the door as quietly as he possibly can. 

“Hi”, someone says and Henry flinches and turns around to see Charlotte in the corridor. 

“Hey”, he whispers. 

“Are you alright?” 

Henry nods. 

“What’s up with Ted?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“He’s not okay, is he?” 

Henry shrugs lightly, unsure about what he is supposed to say. 

“He’s sleeping”, he just says. 

He doesn’t want to tell her about what is up with Ted. It should be Teds decision who knows and who doesn’t. 

“Okay.” 

“Yeah..”

“Wanna hang out with Frankie and me?” 

Henry nods lightly, because it’s not like he has anything better to do. 

“Yeah.” 

— 

He comes back into his room about an hour later and Ted still seems asleep. Except now he’s under the blanket and he’s wearing one of Henrys sweaters. 

It’s the same sweater Henry wore the day before, he roughly remembers just having thrown it over the headrest. 

Ted rolled on his side, his back turned to Henry and he’s hugging the blanket. 

Henry slowly closes the door before he walks over to the bed and climbs into it. 

Ted turns halfway to him, looking at him all sleepy-eyed. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi”, Henry whispers, wrapping his arm around Ted and resting his nose in the back of Teds neck. 

Ted turns back and leans against Henry, letting out a relaxed breath. 

“You’re wearing my sweater”, Henry mumbles, mostly because he highkey can’t process how cute Ted looks in it, he can’t process anything anymore. 

“Oh”, Ted whispers, “Yeah. Is that okay? I was cold, but if you-“

“No no, leave it on.”

You can have all of my sweaters, Henry thinks, all. of. them. 

“I think I might have caught a cold”, Ted notes. 

“Shit. From the rain?” 

“I don’t know. I have the worst headache. And you know that feeling that you get in your throat before you get sick? That too.” 

“I can make you tea. And I’m sure my mom has stuff against headaches, I can-” 

Henry already pushes himself up when Ted reaches for his wrist and gently pulls him back. 

“Nh-nh”, Ted quietly protests. 

Then he let’s go of Henrys wrist and goes for his hand instead, interlocking their fingers and not letting go. 

“Or I could stay here?”, Henry gives in. 

“I’d love that”, Ted mumbles into the pillow. 

“Okay.” 

“Thank you.” It’s barely louder than a whisper and it sounds so sincere.

Henry hesitantly pulls Ted closer against his chest, before he closes his eyes and decides to let himself sleep a bit. 

This time he actually does fall asleep. 


	68. Alone Again (Naturally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry drives Ted home and talks to Frankie for a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of being sick  
\- slight mention of abuse  
\- mention of feeling suicidal

Ted does get sick. 

According to him it’s “not that bad”, just some coughing and a sore throat and those headaches that come and go. 

Henry doesn’t really trust Ted when he says it’s not that bad.

Ted likes to lie about his well-being after all, Henry has learned that much. 

So Henry just sort of continues to take care of Ted, even if Ted says that he’s totally fine. 

In Henrys defense, Ted usually says that while coughing or with a really croaky voice so he’s obviously not totally fine. 

Ted is better after about three days and he’s sitting next around Henry on the couch now. 

Charlotte and Frankie are there too but they’re way too focused on each other, scrolling through an Instagram feed filled with pictures of baby kittens together. 

“Hey”, Ted whispers, pulling Henry out of his thoughts that were mostly about Ted anyway. 

“Hi”, Henry responds on pure autopilot before he manages to properly react. 

He looks at Ted, scanning his face for a moment, trying to figure out what’s going on. 

“Yeah?”, he asks. 

“I’ve.. been thinking.” 

“Okay.” 

“I think I should go home.” 

“Oh.. Okay. Yeah, sure.” 

Henry can’t deny that he’s a little overwhelmed for a second there. 

He already grew a little too accustomed to Ted being around all the time, the idea of Ted not being around feels weird suddenly. 

“I should talk to my mom”, Ted notes. 

“Okay, yeah.” 

“Okay.” 

“When are you leaving?” 

“I don’t know. I just thought about it, really.” 

“You should at least stay one more night.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, to..” Henry has to admit, he doesn’t have a valid reason. “You know, so you’re well rested and everything”, he fumbles out. 

“Smart.” 

“I mean unless you were planning to go today. I’m not going to tell you what to do”, Henry quickly adds when he realises that his reasons for wanting Ted to stay are incredibly selfish. 

“Do you want to get rid of me?”, Ted asks, probably joking but also maybe he isn’t, Henry isn’t sure. 

“No you could move in forever if you wanted to”, Henry says, taking it way too far of course. 

“Sounds intriguing.” 

“My bed is free. ..I mean half-free. I’m still in it but like it’s a big bed so..” Henry just stops talking and blushes and pretends to be really focused on something on the floor. Who allowed him to just open his mouth and start talking? This is a disaster. 

Ted laughs now. 

“Are you okay?” 

“What?”, Henry looks up again. 

“You’re acting really strange.” 

“Sorry, I’m just tired I think.” 

“You didn’t pick up my cold, did you?” 

Ted looks concerned now. 

“No I don’t think so”, Henry says. 

“Okay, that’s good.” 

“I can drive you, you know?” 

“What?” 

“Like to your mom. Tomorrow or whenever. Then you won’t have to take the bus or walk.” 

“Sure?” 

Now it’s Henrys turn to smile. 

“Yes of course.” 

“Okay, yeah that would be nice, actually.” 

“Okay, will do.” 

“Thank you.” 

— 

Ted does leave the next day after lunch and Henry is driving him, as he said he would. 

“How are you?”, he asks, just to make sure Ted is really doing okay. He said he’s fine, the last time Henry asked, which was about half an hour ago but who knows? 

“Still great.” 

“Please be honest.” 

He sees Ted look at him in his peripheral vision and throws a quick glance at him before looking back at the road. 

Ted tilted his head which is cute. 

“Okay, I’m.. not great”, he says, “But I’m okay. I’m better, I’m not going to.. go drown my sorrow in booze again and I’m not going to smoke again, okay?” 

“‘Kay. ..You’ll tell me if it gets worse again, yes?” 

Ted nods. “Yes, I promised.” 

“Also if you feel suicidal again.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I mean it.“ 

“Yes, I know, I’ll tell you. I.. might also tell my mom.” 

“That’s good, okay.”

Ted nods lightly. 

“It’s there”, he then says, pointing at an apartment building ahead of them. 

Henry pulls over in front of it and turns off the engine. 

“Here we are”, he quietly says. 

“Thank you.” 

“No, yes, of course I would.. drive you..” 

Ted nods lightly and takes a breath, seeming nervous.

“What’s up?”, Henry asks. 

“I just.. shit, I’m scared. What if she’s like really mad?” 

“I’m sure she won’t be.” 

“I don’t know.” 

“You can always call me and I can come back and get you.” 

“That’s relieving to hear.” 

“You won’t need me though.” 

“I hope so.” 

“She’s not like.. abusive? Is she?” 

“No. No, she’s alright. She’s not going to hurt me or something if that’s what you mean.” 

“Okay.” 

Ted nods again and looks out of the window, staring at the building before he reaches for the door handle. 

“Okay, I’m going.” 

“Be careful.” 

Ted smiles and turns back to Henry. 

“Always.” 

“See you?” 

“Yes.” 

Ted leans over and presses a kiss on Henrys cheek, making the flesh below tingle and prickle. 

He gets out of the car while Henry just stares at the steering wheel, unable to process things for a second there. 

Ted grabs his bag from the trunk and then reappears in the window by the passengers seat. 

Henry quickly rolls it down. 

“What?”, he asks.

“Thank you for driving me.” 

“You already thanked me.” 

“Well I am very thankful.” 

Henry smiles and shakes his head. 

“Just go.” 

“Hey Hen?” 

“Yes?” 

“Thank you for letting me stay with you. It meant a lot.” 

Henry looks at Ted, who’s staring back, all sincere. 

Henry nods lightly. 

“You can always stay with me”, he fumbles out. 

“You’re the best. Literally.” 

Henry blushes and smiles and looks away. 

“Shut up.” 

“I love you.” 

Ted threw a peace sign at him and is now already pulling back and leaving. 

“Love you too”, Henry mumbles, a little too quiet. 

Ted probably doesn’t hear it anymore but maybe that’s for the better. 

It carried too much meaning in the way Henry said it, Ted isn’t supposed to hear it said like that, not from Henry. Not yet or not ever anyway. 

— 

Charlotte leaves too, that evening. 

Ted texts Henry shortly after she left and says it went fine with his mom and he’ll tell Henry about it in more detail when they meet again.

It sounded positive, Ted even used an emoji. So that’s nice, Henry is happy too if Ted is.

Ted forgot one of his sweaters in Henrys room, Henry told him that too. 

Ted said it’s fine and he doesn’t miss it, Henry can just bring it the next time they meet. 

It’s hanging over the footboard of Henrys bed and Henry is weirdly aware of it while he’s laying awake that night, utterly unable to sleep. 

He got a little too used to falling asleep with the warmth of Teds body in his arms.

Henry lays there for two hours, wide awake and yearning like an idiot. 

The sweater is just existing in the corner of his eye, quietly singing to him like a siren, luring him in. 

Don’t be weird, he thinks, don’t be weird, don’t be weird, just don’t be fucking weird. 

He sits up and reaches for the sweater, pulling it into his arms.

He lets himself sink back into the mattress, clinging to the sweater. 

It smells really nice, of course it does. 

He lays there for about ten minutes until he realises how weird he’s being, then he throws the sweater back as far as he can. 

It lands on the keyboard and Henry just stares at it for a while, already missing the smell. 

He groans quietly and gets up, having the urge to leave his room because part of him feels like Ted should be in there and he’s not and that sucks. 

Henry is so selfish. 

He should be happy for Ted instead of moping around just because he doesn’t have anyone to cuddle. He _is_ happy for Ted, he swears. 

He just can’t sleep and that’s annoying. 

He stumbles downstairs, initially going for the kitchen until he sees that the light in the living room is on. 

It’s Frankie, sitting on the couch with Mr. Humbugger and eating chocolate. 

“Caught you”, Henry says and she flinches. 

“Shit! Fuck you.” 

“You’re so nice, I love it.” 

“If you scare me like this, you deserve harsh words.” 

“If you say so.” 

Henry sits down next to her, trying to coax Mr. Humbugger away from her and into his lap instead. 

“Stop, I had him first”, Frankie protests. 

“But he loves me more.” 

“No he doesn’t.” 

“Yes he does.” 

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No!” 

“Yes!” 

Mr. Humbugger just leaves and Frankie glares at Henry. 

“This is your fault”, she says, “He had a good time here until you sat down.” 

“No he left because he doesn’t like you.” 

“Not true!” 

“Uh, yeah?” 

Frankie flips Henry off and Henry sighs, too tired to argue. 

“What are you doing here anyway?”, Frankie asks. 

“What do you think I’m doing? I can’t sleep.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know?” 

“Okay.” 

“What about you?” 

“Well Charlotte is gone and I miss her.” 

“Aw”, Henry teases, like he’s not having the exact same problem. 

“I don’t know how I’ll survive as soon as I’m back at university.” 

“I mean.. you can still call each other and everything.” 

“Yeah but it’s not the same.” 

“Yeah..” 

“Like she’s been gone for a few hours and I already miss holding her.” 

“Yeah, that sucks.” 

“It really does.” 

“But you’re happy?” 

“Huh?” 

“Being in love and all.” 

“Yeah of course. Being in love is fun.” 

Henry quietly scoffs at that. 

“What?”, Frankie asks. 

“Nothing, I’m glad that you’re happy.”

“Are you in love?” 

“No?” 

“Shit! Yes you are?” 

“Who would I even be in love with?” 

“I don’t know. Stu?” 

Henry shrugs lightly. 

“I like him but it doesn’t really matter.” 

“Of course it matters.” 

“No, he’s not staying here and he doesn’t want to start a relationship here so..” 

“Oh. Sorry.” 

“It’s fine. I’m happy for him.” 

“Shut up.” 

“What?” 

“You’re always so happy for everybody, be happy for yourself for once.” 

“But-“ 

“And if you’re sad instead, you’re allowed to be.” 

“Okay. Sorry.” 

“So what’s your deal?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“With Stu?” 

“I’m.. going to miss him.” 

“And?” 

“Nothing. I don’t want him to leave but I’m not telling him that because I know that I don’t mean enough to him that he’d stay for me. Besides, he’s been wanting to leave for a while and I want him to get what he wants.“ 

“You could tell him anyway. So he knows.” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“Even if he would stay for me - which he wouldn’t - I don’t know if we’d actually work out. I don’t want him to stay for nothing just because I’m kind of interested in what we _could _have. It would just be selfish.” 

“Yeah, okay, that actually makes sense.” 

“See.” 

“You’ll find someone else though. You’re really cool, you know that?”

Henry smiles lightly. 

“No I’m not.” 

“Here I am being nice to you for once and you don’t even accept my compliment. I don’t believe this.” 

“Sorry. I’m just.. never mind. I’m fine, yeah?” 

“If you say so.” 

“Yeah, I say so.” 

“Okay”, she says, “I’m going back to bed?”

“Okay.” 

“Unless you want to talk more about boys?” 

“No thank you.” 

Henry decided to not tell Frankie about his feelings for Ted. It’s not like he doesn’t trust her to keep her mouth shut, it’s just that she’s really bad at keeping secrets and also he doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction of having been right. 

“Okay.” 

She gets up and leaves. 

“Good night”, she mumbles on her way out. 

“Night”, Henry mutters. 


	69. Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry visits Stu one last time to say goodbye and then he visits Ted as well out of reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
\- mention of someone being suicidal

Henry is on his way to Stu again. 

Mostly to say goodbye, since their last parting was so hurried.  
Henry didn’t want that to be the last time he saw Stu in a while. 

So he asked if he can drop by for a few hours and Stu said he’s in the process of cleaning the camper for his roadtrip, but if Henry doesn’t mind that, he would love for him to drop by.

Henry already sees the camper when he pulls over in front of the house and gets out of his car. 

He makes his way over to it, smiling when he sees that Stu is inside. 

Stu is focused on rubbing something off the inner walls and doesn’t notice Henry. 

“Hey”, Henry says, as soon as he reached Stu. 

Stu looks up and smiles brightly. 

“Hi!”

He drops the sponge he was holding into a bucket filled with water and jumps out of the camper to come hug Henry. 

“How are you? How is your friend?” 

“Good. Yeah, alright.. I think. How are you?” 

“I’m great.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, mostly excited. A little scared, maybe.” 

“Hopefully you’ll be fine.” 

“Hopefully.” 

“I mean you’ll better be fine. Don’t you dare die out there.” 

“Or what?” 

“I’ll cry.” 

“Oh no, okay I won’t.” 

Henry smiles. 

“I’ll miss you”, he admits, because it’s true and where is the point in lying anyway? 

Henry should practice being honest more, he’s too comfortable lying all the time. 

“I’ll miss you too”, Stu says. 

He smiles but looks a little sad while doing it. 

“You know, I.. I would have loved to see what we could have had”, he then goes on. 

Henry nods lightly. 

“It would have been great, probably”, he says. 

He feels Stu reach for his hand now and looks at it for a moment, a little surprised at how intimate it is for the fact that they said just friends. 

“Do you want to sit inside with me for a bit?”, Stu asks, nodding towards the camper. 

“Yeah, sure.” 

Stu leads Henry to it and they climb inside, Stu on the drivers seat and Henry on the passengers side. 

Henry turns around for a moment, looking into the back of the camper at the musty mattress and the little wooden cupboards at the ceiling. 

The camper seems old, which is kind of cool.   


When he turns back to look at Stu, Stu is just leaning in his seat, watching Henry. 

“Wanna come with?”, Stu jokes quietly. 

“I’d love to”, Henry says, half-joking, half-meaning it. He wouldn‘t really dare to go, probably, but the thought is intriguing. “But Steve is coming with you, isn’t he? You’re not alone.” 

“Yeah, but I’ll be alone for a few weeks first. He has to sort out some stuff here and then he’ll join.” 

“Oh okay.” 

“I might text you and send you pictures of cool things I see every now and then.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Yes, please do.” 

“You better send back pictures of your cat, I still haven’t seen him.” 

Henry laughs. “Okay, I will.” 

“Thank you.” 

It’s quiet for a while. 

Henry spends most of that silence thinking, as he always does way too much. 

“Do you..”, he starts eventually, “Did you mean it? When you said you would have loved to see what we could have had?” 

“Yeah”, Stu admits. “Even though..” 

“What?” 

“Do you think we could have worked out?” 

“Yeah, why not?” 

Stu shrugs lightly. 

“It would have been too easy, wouldn’t it?” 

“Can love not be easy for once?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“It hasn’t been good to you, has it?” 

Stu lightly shakes his head. 

“Let’s not talk about that.” 

“Okay.” 

“Besides, you’re not in love with me, are you?” 

“I’m not sure. Not yet, I think. I could be?” 

“No, I mean.. you are in love. But not with me.” 

Henry shrugs. 

“That won’t lead anywhere anyway though. It’s doesn’t matter.” 

“Everything matters.” 

“I don’t want it to matter.” 

“Did you ever tell him?” 

“I can’t.” 

“You can’t just decide that it doesn’t matter if you didn’t even try.” 

“I told him while I was drunk and we didn’t talk for weeks. I’m not going to risk that again. I’d rather just be friends than loose him.” 

“Oh.. okay, I get that.” 

“You get that?” 

“You’re not the only one who fell in love with someone who’s supposed to just be a friend.” 

“What? Who?” 

“It doesn’t matter. It was back in highschool and I’m very much over him now.” 

“Everything matters”, Henry quotes Stu’s words from a few seconds before. 

Stu smiles lightly and shakes his head. 

“Maybe not everything.”

“Was that the same guy who wasn’t good to you?” 

“No.” 

“But you never told him?” 

“Yeah. But in my defense, he was in a relationship in the past two years and before that I was in a relationship and before that I was a coward.” 

“Are you alright?” 

“Yes.” 

“Sure?” 

“Yeah, please don’t worry.” 

“Okay.” 

“Just.. you should tell him before it’s too late.” 

“I know.” 

“Will you?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe someday.” 

“‘Kay.” 

“Do you need help? Cleaning, I mean.” 

Stu smiles. 

“You don’t want to help.” 

“Yes I do!” 

“Okay, do you want to help me get the mattress out?” 

“You’re not keeping it?” 

“No, it smells like vomit.” 

“Yeah to be honest it looks kinda musty. I didn’t wanna say anything but oh my god.” 

Stu laughs. 

“Wow I can’t believe you’d be so mean.” 

Henry smiles. “Sorry.” 

Stu laughs again and shakes his head, getting up now. “Come on.” 

— 

Henry stays for two more hours and hugs Stu goodbye for an eternity because he high-key doesn’t want to let go at all. 

It’s weird, saying goodbye to someone that you know you won’t see again for a while. 

On his drive home, he‘s just sad and confused and he can barely concentrate on driving, because he keeps descending into the depths of his thoughts. 

Eventually he comes to the conclusion that he doesn‘t want to be alone and no one is home right now. 

Frankie went to Charlotte and his parents went out to meet some mutual friends. 

Henry pulls over to side of the road, fumbling out his phone and opening Teds contact without really thinking about it. 

It’s just that he feels weird and a little empty because part of him still can’t comprehend that he won’t see Stu again for over a year. Ted’s presence is usually enough to make him feel at least a little bit better so why not take a chance? 

He hesitates for a few seconds before he texts him, asking if he‘s home. 

Ted answers almost immediately. 

_‘yeah why?’ _

_‘wanna come over?’ _

Henry smiles. 

_‘can I?’ _

_‘yes! cooking rn but you can have some if you want’ _

_‘okay I’ll be there soon, yeah?’_

_‘looking forward to it’_

Henry smiles and then tries to stop smiling but fails miserably so he just gives up and starts to drive instead.

— 

Henry parks at the side of the road and gets out. 

He walks towards the apartment building, texting Ted that he’s there. 

Ted texts him back that the door is open and he’s on the fifth floor and the elevator doesn’t work so Henry will have to take the stairs. 

Henry is a little out of breath when he arrives at the door to Teds apartment. 

Ted is just standing there, smiling. 

“Shut up, that was a lot of stairs”, Henry defends himself. 

“Yeah, to be honest that elevator hasn’t been working since we moved here. I don’t think they’re actually intending to ever get it repaired.” 

“Shit.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Hi, by the way.” 

“Hi hello.” 

“Hey.” 

“Come in.” Ted steps aside and Henry comes in, kicking his shoes off. 

There’s no corridor, they just immediately stand in the living room. There’s an open kitchen and there’s food on the stove that smells really good. 

“Are you alright?”, Ted asks. 

“Yeah”, Henry says, even though he’s not that alright. But he’s better, now that he’s in the same room as Ted. “How are you?”, he keeps going. 

“Yeah, alright too, I think. Though I high-key forgot to eat lunch.” 

“That explains why you’re cooking at five pm.” 

“I mean at least I did remember eventually.” 

“I’m proud of you”, Henry says, meaning it too. 

“Do you want some?”

“What did you make?” 

“I don’t know to be honest. There’s rice? And then I just started mixing spices and sauces that I thought smell good.” 

“That sounds great.” 

“I should become a chef probably.” 

“It’s in your blood.” 

“My blood is actually soup.”

“Wow, I love that.” 

“Thanks.” 

Ted leads Henry towards the kitchen and gets two plates from a cupboard.

“How much do you want?”

“Like half a plate. I’m not that hungry, I just want a taste of your culinary genius.” 

Ted grins. “I’m so flattered.” 

Henry smiles, watching Ted as he fills Henrys plate with rice and vegetables and a mix of spices and sauces. 

“Thank you”, he quickly says, when he deems it enough. 

Ted hands him the plate, getting his own now. 

“God, I’m starving, I hope this is good”, he mumbles. 

“It smells really nice.” 

“You think so?” 

Henry nods. 

Ted smiles. “Do you to sit on the balcony?” 

“Sure.” 

They go sit outside and Henry can’t deny that it’s really cool. You can see rather far over the city and Henry even spots his car down there on the side of the road. 

There’s no table, just a bench, so they end up just holding their plates. 

Ted takes a bite first, frowning lightly while he chews. 

“It’s sort of in between really good and really bad”, he says. 

“What?”, Henry mumbles, before he takes a bite as well. 

It’s good. Like genuinely. At least in Henrys opinion. 

“I like it.” 

“You have to say that now.” 

“I mean it. It’s good.” 

Ted tilts his head before taking another bite. 

“Okay yeah I suppose it’s alright.” 

“You should really be a chef.”

“No thanks, I’m pretty sure that’s a lot of stress. I don’t have that kind of mental stability.” 

“You can also just cook for me and me only.” 

Ted laughs. “Will do, darling.” 

Henry smiles. 

It’s been a while since Ted called him that. He kind of missed it. Or not kind of, he missed it a lot, he missed it _so_ much. 

“Are you okay with me calling you that?”, Ted asks. 

“Yes”, Henry says, a little too fast. 

“It doesn’t turn you on?” 

“Jesus Ted.” 

“Just saying, drunk-you seemed to be into it.” 

“Drunk-me was into a lot of stuff.” 

“That’s fair.” 

“Sorry again.”

“No it’s fine.” 

They eat in silence for a while. 

When they’re finished, they put their plates down on the ground next to the bench and lean back, staring at the buildings in front of them. 

“Where’s your mom by the way?”, Henry eventually asks. 

“Oh, she’s out with Areeya.” 

“Is that her girlfriend?” 

“Yes.” 

“You’re good again? You and your mom?” 

“Yes, actually. I suppose we’re even better than before. We did talk a lot, you know.” 

“That’s good.” 

“Yeah she told me a lot about Areeya which was.. kind of cute? Like it’s nice to see her happy, you get me?” 

“Yeah.” 

“She said she’s been wanting to tell me for a while but she wanted to do it in person and I was always at college or whatever. Also she was nervous, which is like.. I get that.” 

“She told you a lot huh?” 

“Yeah.” Ted smiles lightly. “She spent like.. half an hour just telling me about how they met in great detail.”   


Henry smiles. “Why? Was it weird?”

“A little I suppose? I don’t know, there’s lots of coincidences, it makes it all sound like destiny.  They actually met in Thailand, you know?” 

“For real?” 

“Yeah, my mom was there for business reasons for about a month last year. And Areeya was there too, visiting relatives I think. She and my mom just sort of met and got along pretty good and ended up spending a lot of time together and eventually they had that whole.. teary goodbye.”

“And then?” 

“And then they were on the same plane back here.” 

“No way!” 

Ted smiles and nods. “Areeya lives in Clivesdale.” 

“That sounds like a movie.” 

“It really does, shit.” 

“Did you meet her already?” 

Ted shakes his head. 

“I will in a few days. Jude too.” 

“Her child?” 

“Yeah. They’re fifteen, I think? And.. I don’t know, I’m excited.” 

“You’re nervous”, Henry says, having noticed how nervous Ted is. 

“A little?” 

“Cute.” 

Ted smiles. “I just really want to be a part of this family.” 

“You are a part of it.” 

“Yeah but you know.. I want them to like me.” 

“I’m sure they will.” 

Ted looks at Henry. “You think so?” 

“How could they not?” 

“I don’t know. I can be a jerk sometimes.” 

“You’re literally so loveable.” 

Ted chuckles and shakes his head. 

“You know, I also told my mom what’s been going on with me.”

“Yeah?” 

“She was weirdly understanding, like.. she actually took it serious which isn’t exactly something I’m used to.” 

“I’m glad she did.” 

“I didn’t tell her all of it though. I don’t know why. I just sort of told her I’ve been struggling with my mental health or something. I didn’t tell her that I thought about killing myself, I just couldn’t, somehow. Maybe I will eventually.” 

“That’s okay. Baby steps.” 

Ted smiles lightly and nods. 

“I’m getting there.” 

“You are.” 

Henry watches Ted, who’s just staring at the setting sun. There’s a little smile on his lips and the sun is getting lower and the light is getting more orange and Ted looks ridiculously pretty in it. 

Ted deserves the whole world, in Henrys opinion. 

Henry pushes himself closer to Ted and lets his head sink on Teds shoulder, hesitant to fully lean in until Ted leans against him, dropping his head on top of Henrys. 

They sit in comfortable silence for minutes, just watching the sunset. 

“Do you want to stay the night?”, Ted asks eventually. 

Yes, Henry thinks, yes I’d love to. 

“Here?”, he asks. 

“Yes. So you won’t have to.. drive home.” 

Henry smiles. 

“I’ll have to eventually.” 

“But not tonight.” 

“Yeah, not tonight.” 

“So do you-“ 

“Yes. ..yeah, okay.” 

“Okay.” 


	70. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry stays over at Teds place and they talk a little (but not about their feelings for each other) and they cuddle (but not romantically) and they’re very in love (but secretly)

Ted’s room is nice and surprisingly tidy. The walls are painted in a dark, calming blue and there’s a big window.

Ted had a spare toothbrush for Henry and he also gave him some more comfortable clothes to sleep in. 

Now Henry is just sitting in Teds bed, wearing Teds clothes and trying his best to not be too excited about it. 

Ted was just about to turn off the light when his mom called and now he‘s leaning against the wall next to the light switch, talking to her. 

“Yeah no, that’s fine”, he says, looking at Henry now. “I’m not alone, go have fun, yeah?” 

He frowns, looking amused. 

“No”, he says, “a friend. Henry.” 

A smile forms on his lips while he listens to her and it’s kind of incredibly sweet. “Yes that Henry.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Okay, yes you too”, he says, pushing himself away from the wall. 

“I love you too. Bye.”

He hangs up now. 

“Sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine.” 

“It got late so she’ll spend the night at Areeyas place. She just wanted to make sure that’s okay with me.” Ted comes over and lets himself fall on the bed next to Henry. “I told her it’s fine and that I’m not alone.” He leans against the wall, looking at Henry now.

Henry smiles. “Yeah, you’re not alone.” 

“Yeah. ..Hey”, Ted whispers, still watching Henry. 

“Hi?”, Henry asks quietly, getting a little confused about the situation now, “Why didn’t you turn off the light?” 

“I just wanted-.. Are you alright?”, Ted asks. 

“Sure. Why?” 

“You just kind of asked if you can drop by out of nowhere, I thought maybe something happened. And then earlier we sort of only talked about my mom so.. I don’t know, are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Oh. ..Yeah, no, I.. It’s just that no one’s home right now and I didn’t want to be alone. Don’t worry.” 

“Okay.” 

“And I was at Stu’s place earlier. You know, to say goodbye.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I don’t know. Would you be okay with that?” 

“Yeah, of course.” 

Henry hesitates, unsure about how to put it or even what to say. 

He’s so confused and overwhelmed just thinking about it. 

Being in love with one person was already confusing but liking two people?  
Henry is going to die, he can’t even think anymore.  
There’s too much chaos in his head, it’s like his brain is riding an endless rollercoaster.  
He can’t see clear, everything is just going too fast and now there’s a looping and he’s upside down all of sudden. 

Being in love is horrible and Henry is mad at himself for falling twice in such a short amount of time and both times for someone he can’t be with. 

He really wanted to try with Stu. 

He misses that the most, he thinks, he misses what could have been. 

“I’ll miss him I think”, he just says. 

“He’ll come back though, right?” 

“Yeah. I just.. it’s weird that he’ll just be gone for so long. I barely got to know him for real.” 

“And you wish you could have?” 

“Yeah.” 

Henry lets his head sink on Teds shoulder because he’s a little tired and Ted gives comfort. 

“He’s pretty great, huh?”, Ted asks. 

“Yeah. It’s not just that though.” 

“What else is it?” 

“The idea of being with someone? I don’t know.” 

“Oh.” 

“Is that stupid?” 

“What? No.” 

“Maybe I’m just desperate.”

“What do you mean?” 

“This world is so exhausting and I think.. what if there’s no way to fix that? All we can do is try our best and look for someone or something that might make us feel good for a moment but-..” 

Henry pushes himself away from Ted, having gotten weirdly emotional. 

Why does he always get so sad when he‘s tired? He shouldn’t have the right to think so much, it never ends well. 

Ted is staring at him, almost observant and a little concerned. 

“Yeah I get that”, he says.

“Yeah?”, Henry asks, sort of relieved that he’s not alone with his stupid feelings. 

Ted nods. 

“It’s like.. Everything that used to be fun just doesn‘t bring joy anymore, instead it just gets more exhausting to try and find something that fills the void inside of you.” 

Henry nods. 

“Yeah.” 

“I didn’t know you feel that too.” 

Henry shrugs. 

“I’ve been trying really hard to ignore it. It’s just that I keep feeling alone, even though I’m not. Like.. I _know _I’m not alone, I’m just.. stupid and feel like that anyway.” 

“If you’re stupid, I’m stupid too.” 

Henry laughs weakly and Ted smiles, looking sad. 

“When did we get so real?”, Henry mutters. 

Ted shrugs. “I don’t know.” 

“Do you want to hug?”, Henry asks, desperate for comfort. 

Ted nods. “Yeah, come here.” 

Before Henry can make a move, Ted just wraps his arms around him and pulls both of them onto the mattress. 

Then they lay there, limps entangled and breathing slowly, trying not to cry about how shitty the world is. 

“At least I exist at the same time as you”, Ted whispers after a while. 

“I’m going to cry and it will be your fault“, Henry whispers back, moved to tears. 

“Sorry.”

“I’m glad I exist at the same time as you too.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you so much.” 

“You’re the best.” 

“No you. Thanks for existing.” 

“Thank you for existing.” 

Henry smiles against Teds T-Shirt and pulls himself closer now. 

“Do you want me to turn off the light now?”, Ted asks. 

“No, don’t let go.” 

“Okay.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Hey, you’ll find it, yeah? Love or whatever else will make you happy.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Well you deserve it.” 

“You too.” 

Henry thinks about Stu’s words. 

Tell him before it’s too late, he said. 

Maybe Henry should. Maybe he should just go for it. Life is short and sometimes people just leave before you get a chance to find out what could have been. 

“Hey Ted?” 

“Yeah?” 

Henry swallows and pushes Ted on his back, leaning over him to look at him. His throat gets all itchy and he ends up staying silent for a little too long. 

“What?”, Ted asks eventually, still waiting for Henry to speak. 

“Never mind”, Henry mumbles. 

He can feel Ted looking at him and he can also feel how fast his own heart is beating. He almost gets nauseous from how nervous he is. 

“Do you just want to not talk for a while?”, Ted asks, reaching up and letting his fingers sink into Henrys hair, right behind his ear. 

Henry just nods. 

Calm down, he thinks, you didn’t even say it, calm the fuck down. 

“It’s been a long day, I think i’m just tired, sorry”, Henry says. 

“Okay.” Ted let’s his hand sink. “I’ll go turn off the light?” 

Henry nods. “Okay.”

Ted gets up and Henry pushes himself under the blanket, waiting for Ted to turn off the light and come back. 

Ted eventually is back and lays down next to Henry and just reaches for him, pulling him close. 

Henry lets him, of course. 

— 

The next morning is weird because for a moment Henry forgets where he is and completely looses orientation. 

Ted isn‘t next to him but there‘s noises in the kitchen. 

Henry sits up, shivering when the blanket falls to his waist. Ted opened a window and now the room is cold outside of the blanket. 

The door opens and Ted comes in, carrying two cups of something. 

“Hey, good morning.” 

“Hi”, Henry fumbles out. 

Ted just hands Henry one of the cups (it’s coffee) and puts the other cup on the nightstand table before going over to the window and closing it. 

“Sorry, are you cold?” 

“A little.” 

He reaches for a sweater that’s hanging over the desk chair on top of other clothes and throws it at Henry. 

“There you go.” 

Henry smiles. 

“Thank you.” 

He leans over and puts his cup down before slipping into the warm sweater. 

Ted sits down next to him, handing back the cup when Henry goes to reach for it. 

“Thanks”, Henry mumbles again. 

“You’re welcome.”

“I should stay at your place more often if that means I get coffee in bed.” 

Ted smiles. 

“Everything for you.” 

Henry grins and bites his lip and quickly hides that behind the cup as he goes to drink his first sip. 

“How did you sleep?”, Ted asks. 

“Good, you?” 

“Yeah me too even though you were really hot.” 

Henry almost chokes on his coffee. 

“What?” 

“Body-heat wise.” 

“Oh”, Henry says, laughing awkwardly, “Sorry.” 

Ted looks way too amused about it. “It’s okay. Are you hungry?” 

“A little maybe. Are you?” 

“Yeah, me too. The thing is that we only have cereal here and it’s almost empty. So do you want to go somewhere?” 

“Where?” 

“I don’t know, we could go eat pancakes or something.” 

“Oh! Yes.” 

Henry can’t remember ever having eaten out for breakfast and he gets kind of excited about the idea. 

“There’s a diner down the street, do you want to-“ 

“Yes, that sounds great.” 

Ted smiles. 

“Okay, let’s do it.” 


	71. Halloween Party?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chad is going to ask Bill out eventually he swears, also Emma and Paul are very excited for Halloween

College starts again. 

Henry actually feels a little better after that. Maybe sitting around at home without a purpose and too much time to think was what made him feel so shitty. 

Besides it‘s nice to live with Ted again. 

Frankie’s departure wasn’t so nice, mostly because both her and Charlotte cried and just stood there and hugged for almost half an hour. 

Henry is with Chad now, walking back from theatre to meet the others.  
They’re doing Mamma Mia this year and Chad is immensely excited about it. 

“I love Mamma Mia”, he says, a bright smile on his lips.

“Yeah me too”, Henry says. Because who doesn’t?

“It’s Bills favourite, you know?”, Chad goes on, a dreamy look in his eyes. 

Henry smiles.

“Yeah?” 

“Yes.” 

“What is up with you guys?” 

“What do you mean?”

Henry raises an eyebrow, just looking at Chad and waiting for him to admit that he very much knows what Henry means. 

Chad grins nervously and shrugs and bites his lips. 

“Nothing I think.” 

“You didn’t ask him, did you?”   


“What?”   


“A few weeks ago when you and him visited. I asked you if you had a date and you didn’t know if it was one. You said you would ask him about it.”   


“Oh.. yeah. I didn’t. But I’m going to ask him out eventually, I swear.”

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m just.. working up the courage. I’m getting there.” 

“Okay.” 

“You know, actually he asked me to go to that party with him.” 

“The halloween party?” 

Emma and Paul have been talking about it non-stop since college started again. Henry isn’t sure if he’s going there yet, parties never really end well for him after all. 

Chad nods. “I don’t think it’s a date but.. fuck what if it is?” 

“How did he ask?” 

“We were just talking about it and he was like: ‘Do you wanna go there together?’ and I said yes without asking for clarification and he was like ‘Okay, it’s a date! I’ll pick you up’ and now I can’t stop thinking about it.” 

“Okay I mean that could be interpreted either way but it does sort of sound like you have a date.” 

“Right? I’m fucking dying.” 

“You should ask him”, Henry says, as if that’s something he would do. 

Chad isn’t as much of a coward as he is though, Chad can manage. 

“I want to but I chicken out every time.” 

“Maybe you should just.. go with him and see what happens.“ 

“Yeah you’re right. I mean I’m fine with either, so.. if he treats me like a friend then I’ll just go with it and pretend that I didn’t even consider the whole thing being romantic.” 

“Yeah..”, Henry says, unsure now because when Chad says it like that it doesn’t sound like that much of a good plan anymore. 

“If he wants to hold hands I’d be so down though”, Chad mumbles, staring at a spot in the distance now and when Henry looks up he sees Bill and the others. 

“Maybe kiss too”, Chad goes on, “like if he wanted to kiss me, I’d let him.” 

“If you want to kiss him, maybe you should tell him that”, Henry says, as he lets his gaze wander over the group, noticing that Ted is not there yet. 

“I should. I could. I won’t though.” 

Henry smiles lightly because that’s way too relatable. 

“Yeah”, he mutters, not really to Chad and more to himself but Chad must have heard it anyway. 

“So.. Ted, huh?” 

“What?” 

“Any news?” 

“No.”

“I just don’t get how you managed to be friends again while completely avoiding to talk about your make-out session.” 

“We didn’t completely avoid it.” 

“What did he say then? What were his reasons to kiss you like that?” 

“I..” Henry blushes and looks away because he doesn’t want to have to tell Chad that Ted said he’s a good kisser.  
Maybe Teds reasons were weird but they’re still more plausible than Ted liking him back, especially after how Ted reacted to Henry confessing. 

“Those were confession-kisses”, Chad says. 

“Chad..” 

“I‘m right.” 

Henry hesitates and settles on shrugging. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to explain to Chad why he can’t tell Ted. He can’t even really explain it to himself. Loosing Ted again because of something like that just doesn’t feel like it’s worth it. 

They reach the group now and Bill lights up when he sees Chad. There’s that short moment where both of them hesitate about whether or not to hug each other, then they settle on hugging but it’s a weird half-hug. 

Henry really hopes that that party settles whatever it is between them because they have been acting like this around each other for a while and it’s getting painfully obvious that they are a little bit in love. Henry has never been good at noticing love in others but the way they smile when they see each other and how they’re always standing a little too close and how they always let their gazes linger on each other a little too long, it all seems so telling. 

“Hi Henry”, Paul says now and Henry looks at him and Emma in their Halloween costumes. It’s their week of subtle costumes again and that day they chose to be the colour yellow so both of them are just dressed almost completely in yellow. 

“Hi”, Henry says, then he looks at Charlotte who is standing a few feet away, leaning against the backrest of a bench. She‘s on the phone with someone and according to the bright smile on her face, it’s probably Frankie. 

“When’s Ted coming?”, Emma asks, seeming a little impatient. 

“He should be there soon”, Henry says. 

Ted is with Nancy. It’s the first time today, Ted was lowkey nervous about it the whole morning. 

Henry really hopes it went alright, Ted deserves someone who can help him. 

“There he comes”, Paul says. 

Henry turns around to see Ted leave the building. Ted waves and hurries towards them. 

“Hi, sorry I’m late.” 

“It’s fine”, Henry says. 

“No it’s not, I’m starving”, Emma says. 

“Eat better breakfast”, Ted says, coming next to Henry now. 

“Eat better breakfast”, Emma quietly imitates him, before she reaches for Paul’s hand, ready to go. 

“Char?”, she asks. 

Charlotte looks up and nods before she comes towards them, still not hanging up. 

When they start walking, Henry lets himself fall back with Ted. 

“Hi”, he says. 

“Hey”, Ted says. He smiles and looks at Henry, which is an absolutely normal thing to do and shouldn’t make Henry feel all weak in the knees. 

“How was it?”, Henry asks.

Ted shrugs and smiles brighter. 

“Good, I think? It felt good. I mean, I know this was just one time and not much is going to change after just one time but I feel slightly less suffocated right now and that’s nice.” 

“So you’re going to go more often?” 

“Yeah, I think so.” 

“Okay, that’s great.” 

“I‘m just so relieved right now.” 

“What? Why?” 

“I don’t know. I suppose part of me was scared that she’ll just be like ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’. But she didn’t say that, so..” 

“Of course she didn’t say that”, Henry says, “nothing is _wrong _with you.” 

“Yeah I know that in theorie.” 

“I’m glad it went good.” 

“Yeah, me too. How was theatre?” 

“We’re doing Mamma Mia now.” 

“Hell yes! That’s so cool.” 

Henry smiles. “Yeah.” 

“Any role wishes?” 

“I don’t wanna be too dramatic about it but if I don’t get to play gay dilf Harry, I will cry.” 

Ted laughs. 

“I’m kidding”, Henry says, grinning because Ted’s laugh is contagious, “I don’t know to be honest.” 

“I’m excited for it.” 

“Me too.” 

“By the way.. Halloween?” 

“What does that have to do with Mamma Mia?” 

“Nothing, I just thought about it. Do you wanna go to that party?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Yeah me neither.” 

“Why did you ask?” 

“I’ll only go if you do too.” 

Henry smiles. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Wanna do a couples costume?” 

Ted raises an eyebrow and smiles. “I don’t know. I’m not really one for dressing up.” 

“Boring.” 

“Hey?”

“Literally the only reason that I _would_ go would be because dressing up is fun.” 

“What would you go as?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Ted chuckles. “Okay.”

“But it would be cool.” 

“Let’s go then.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Unless you don’t want to.” 

“No, I don’t know. It’s just that every time I go to a party, something bad happens.” 

“Oh.. yeah.” 

“But we can go.” 

“Very self-sacrificing from you.” 

“Maybe it’ll be fun.” 

“Maybe.” 

“So lets go there?” 

Ted nods lightly. “Yeah, okay.”

“You really don’t wanna do a costume together?” 

Ted smiles. “No, thanks.” 

— 

“Frankie will come here for a few days over Halloween”, Charlotte announces after they sat down to eat. 

“Yeah?”, Henry asks, a little hurt that Frankie didn’t tell him herself. 

“To the party?“, Emma asks at the same time. 

She’s so excited for that party, it‘s unreal. 

Charlotte shrugs. “I suppose. We’re not sure yet, maybe we’ll just spend the time together.” 

“Need me to clear the room for you?” Emma wiggles her eyebrows at Charlotte who blushes. 

“What?”, she fumbles out, playing with her milkshake now. 

“I can stay at Paul’s for a bit”, Emma says, throwing a wink at Paul who almost chokes on his soda. 

“I’m at Paul’s?”, Bill chimes in.

“Cuddle with us”, Emma says. 

Bill smiles and shakes his head. 

“No thank you.” 

“I’m free”, Chad says.

“I’ll go to Chad”, Bill immediately decides, wrapping his arm around Chads shoulders. 

“You guys, no one needs to go anywhere”, Charlotte says, her whole face having taken in a deep pink. 

“Who’s going to that party anyway?”, Henry asks in an attempt to save her. 

“Paul and me for sure”, Emma says, as if everyone doesn’t already know that, “Our costumes are so cool, none of you will be able to top that.” 

“Chad and me are going too”, Bill says, his arm still dangling around Chads shoulders. Chad is just staring at the table, a little smile dancing around his lips. He doesn’t seem to be listening anymore. 

“What about you two?”, Paul asks, his eyes falling from Ted on Henry and back. 

Ted nods lightly and says “Yeah, probably.” 

Meanwhile Henry still tries to get used to everyone assuming that him and Ted will go there together. He supposes it has been like that for a while - them being a package deal - but still, it’s a weirdly good feeling. Kind of nice. Henry loves this. Henry loves Ted. 

“Frankie and I might”, Charlotte says, “but we’ll decide spontaneously.” 

“Nice”, Emma says. 

Henry feels Chad look at him and looks back to see him smile. 

Chad lightly nods towards Bills hand on his upper arm and smiles brighter. 

Henry shakes his head and chuckles. 

“What’s up with you guys?”, Emma asks. 

“Nothing”, Chad quickly says, leaning into Bills embrace, just lightly but still noticeable. 

“Yeah”, Henry says, still smiling, “Nothing.” 


End file.
